In love with someone who doesn't feel the same...

[rough widget]

I'm in love with one of my best friends and he just, does not view us as compatible partners. Our friendship actually started out as more of an adult oriented dynamic and it was going well. We got very close and very intimate in a very short amount of time, meanwhile I am helping him through his divorce. I started developing more serious feelings for him a few weeks into him moving in with my roomie and me and told him about it and thats when he started cutting me off from our intimacy. We struggled a lot with back and forth jealousy with us watching us go to other people because we were not an official couple so we were free to explore. He had a complete breakdown one night after I had someone over and things were tainted after that. I told him I wanted to explore an actual relationship with him and he basically said that we made the mistake of being each other's reckless rebounds and that we were completely incompatible as lovers.
I dont know what to do about it. This man is everything to me right now. He knows how to make me laugh when all I want to do is die, hes seen me at my lowest and most vulnerable and literally saved my life... He's even told me explicitly that I have literally saved his life and that makes my heart ache even further because now I feel like theres an even stronger bond there that I can't let go of. I don't know what to do. I've tried to ask him why he thinks we're so incompatible but he refuses to tell me because he fears Im just going to use that information to change how I am to try and make him want me more. I don't want to change how I am, I just want to know why he keeps avoiding the question and why I'm so incompatible when every new person he talks to and gets attached to now is so much like me in so many ways but just.. not me? I feel like I messed up telling him how I feel. I can't seem to let go because Im so afraid Ill never find that level of intimacy and connection with someone again. Is it wrong to hold onto hope for this?

[cosmic stag]

@rough widget dms?

[tropic linden]

Oh, Neko, I can feel the weight of your emotions through your words. It's tough when you develop deep feelings for someone and they don't feel the same way. It's natural to question why and wonder if there's something you could have done differently. But remember, you can't control someone else's feelings or actions.

It sounds like you have an incredibly strong bond with this friend, and it's understandable that you don't want to let go. However, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. If he has made it clear that he doesn't see you as compatible partners, it might be time to accept his decision and focus on healing yourself.

It's not wrong to hold onto hope, but it's also important to be realistic and consider whether this hope is holding you back from finding happiness elsewhere. Sometimes, letting go of something that isn't meant for us opens up space for new opportunities and connections.

Take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Surround yourself with friends who support and uplift you. Engage in activities that bring you joy. And remember, love can come unexpectedly from unexpected places. Keep an open mind and heart, and trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right.