Not sure what to do

[honest heart]

That sounds like such a rough situation, and I can relate in some ways. It's hard to say without having all the information but based on what you are saying it sounds like she really doesn't consider what you have as seriously as you do.

I'm not sure the boundaries thing is going to work, as she has already made it clear she isn't going to respect them.

[tawny gulch]

Leave her. Don't waste your time hoping things will get better when she continuously proves that they won't. Focus on improving yourself. Keep your head up.

[spiral blade]

bro...

[tawny gulch]

What

[tawny gulch]

Yeah she is not taking it as seriously as I am, and whenever I tell her it feels like she dont care about me (small stuff like dont replying or using heart emojis when I do), she gets silent and sometimes threatens to "leave"... But she regret it 1 day later lol. I usually tell her I dont want her to leave, but I want her to commit. I think the she knows that I will not leave her easily, so she may use that.

[tawny gulch]

I dont know everything about the situation but sounds like she is using you as a second option until she finds someone else because she know you will always come back for her if she doesn't find someone. Break the cycle.

[honest heart]

I hate to say it, but this sounds accurate.

[tawny gulch]

Im thinking about it all the time, and I really wanna tell her if she dont put some effort in really soon, like for example change her profile picture to one with us together (which I would do easily for her), then I will leave her and not spend time with her. Will not block her or anything, but wont spend my time on her.
But again Im really afraid that if I leave, she will suddenly have someone else by her side, and then I would feel even more used / cheated on (if that happens)

If she has someone else so be it. If she doesn't care enough about you to give the relationship her all you shouldn't either. Find someone who truly cares about you. I know you can.

[honest heart]

I have gone through a very similar situation to this, minus the boundaries part.

[tawny gulch]

yeah I have someone else interested in me, I know she is. but Im not that interested in her 😛
anyways, I know there are lots of other interesting ppl out there.

[honest heart]

Wouldn't put any effort in displaying what our relationship meant to her.

One day I see a video of her on a date with another guy and she never spoke to me again.

[tawny gulch]

thats very toxic

[honest heart]

Some people are ruthless and could not care less the damage they do to someone else.

[tawny gulch]

You got this

[honest heart]

We're all gonna make it.

[tawny gulch]

In the past, she did use pictures of us together, but she stopped after I got "boring" and too "romantic". I was more wild and funny before, she said. She told me this, that she liked me more before , that she lost some interest when I get romantic and "changed". well thats how love works. guess she just wanna have fun being wild and get attention from other ppl

[honest heart]

You're saying all the words, man. You know how this is gonna play out.

[tawny gulch]

I do, but damn its hard to actually do it xD

[honest heart]

Hanging on to hope when it comes to love and relationships is like sitting in a bonfire.

[tawny gulch]

so true

[honest heart]

I don't want to outright say what you need to do, but it sounds like you know moreso what the result is going to be, it just hurts to drive it home.

[tawny gulch]

and in the beginning of our relationship i didnt even care (i was wild etc), but suddenly I care about her.

[honest heart]

Maybe just have one more serious conversation. Lay it all on the line one last time. Explain your truest feelings to her. Don't hold anything back. Ask questions. Don't be accusatory.

[tawny gulch]

I dont think you should give her any more chances

I know she cared about me in the beginning, she told me she loved me. but I cant remember where I went wrong. I think the open relationship made it all a mess, and something happened she never told me about. she is not good at communicating

[honest heart]

I don't think so either, but I know myself personally I would do so because I know how it feels.

[tawny gulch]

You didn't do anything wrong from what I know.

[tawny gulch]

Feelings aren't good choice makers

[honest heart]

True and real

What I will say is this

No matter what happens, whether she snaps out of it and starts to reciprocate or she casts your feelings aside, no one deserves to be dragged along like that. And if you end up walking away, just know you will feel those feelings again for someone else, someone that is deserving that will also give what you deserve

[tawny gulch]

she usually dont reply much on questions, but I think I made up my mind. I will do a conversation wih her tomorrow (we're gonna drink togheter then).
Gonna tell her that she has to put some effort in rn if she wants me around, then Im gonna start simple : ask her to change her profile pictures which takes 1 min. I would do that for her or any friends I have lol., so If she cant do that, then I leave her and go drink with other friends.

[tawny gulch]

Good luck

[honest heart]

I wish for the best for you. You can do this. Have the courage to respect yourself and get what you deserve. If it doesn't work out, take it as a learning experience and apply it next time.

[tawny gulch]

You guys seem like good people

I mean change a profile picture is a very simple thing to do/ask, and I would even do it for my friends lol. So if she wont do that simple thing, then I dont trust her. 🤷‍♂️

[tawny gulch]

you too ^^

[honest heart]

If either of you ever want to DM, hmu. People gotta stick together.

[tawny gulch]

@tawny gulch @honest heart
It has to be said that she still have me in her Bio where she writes "Im her most precious guy"... so I should keep that in mind before I confront her.
then changing a profile picture should be simple thing to do though 🤔 I'll confront her about it next week and then see where it leads.

thank you both for the replies ^^

[honest heart]

If your heart can endure it, and you think there's a chance to reconcile, I would say go for it. Only you can know how much you can take.