#Goodbye (TW: SUICIDE)

154 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

left girder
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Goodbye people. Tonight is the night for now I am living in the 11th hour. I won't be around much longer. The depression is too much, knowing ill never be in full control over my body, all the trauma ive endured. Its all too much. It is now my time to leave.

I just wanted to say thankyou to the people that helped me or even just gave an effort into being there for me. I want to thanks those who made an effort and/or were very friendly to me.

@calm otter
@main shale
@hollow hawk

I thank you three. I also thank everyone else who has made an effort. I'm sorry for abandoning this life. I hope everyone can understand. I apologize. Remember that today I dont ||die|| sad. I ||die|| a happy and content way. I ||die|| on my terms. I've tried to make this day as best as it could possibly be but now it is my time to say goodbye.

For now, goodbye for it will more than likely be a goodbye forever. I'll see you all in the ||afterlife||.

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Thankyou all. Goodbye.

main shale
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HEY HEY CAS HEY

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STOP

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NO

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CAS

left girder
# main shale STOP

I'm about to do the final thing, taking all the ||pills|| and taking my final breath in my sleep. I'm sorry. Don't blame yourself for me.

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well shit. I cant do it right now until my Nana falls asleep.

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I can't have anybody stopping me or trying to stop me.

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Well then isnt this just sucks for me

main shale
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Hi

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Sorry

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DON'T FUCKING TAKE THE PILLS

left girder
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why are you sorry?

main shale
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Please don't take the pills

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Hey

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I have a friend

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That wants to talk to you

left girder
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who?

main shale
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joe<3#1521

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Add her

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Please

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She wants to talk to you

left girder
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alright

main shale
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Please

left girder
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hold up. my Nana is messaging me from the other room. Really fucking scared shitless right now because im not in my right mindset to talk

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at least not face to face

main shale
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PLEASE GO TALK TO HER

left girder
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well ill have too

main shale
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Are you okay?

calm otter
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CAS

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CAS CAS CAS

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NO

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@left girder

hollow hawk
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bro wtf

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@left girder

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you still online

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what happened

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don’t do it bruh

hollow hawk
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brooo

left girder
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@main shale
@calm otter
@hollow hawk

I'm sorry for worrying you three. I wanted to do it but things got In the way. I'm probably going to end up trying again some other time though. I didn't tell my Nana the entire truth. I told her that I was having intrusive thoughts but I couldn't bring it up to her that I had a plan and everything else. I'm scared to go to the mental hospital if things don't work out or if she finds all the ||Pills|| I have.

Maybe everything I'm trying to do is downright dumb and won't work anyways but idk.

pseudo mirage
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You seem like a reasonable person so I would suggest you to think twice about what you're doing. Suicide is the very last resort and it shouldn't be done unless someone/something else is going to kill you anyway.
I believe that every person has a purpose in life, you've experienced so little compared to what's coming. So don't make any hasty decisions.
And if you're really that determined to do it, not that I encourage it by any means, but please do it properly so you won't find yourself living in even more pain. In other words, run a research on the pills that you're taking.
Again, I'm not telling you how to do it, but if that's your final decision...

hollow hawk
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@left girder Are you ok/still here?

left girder
left girder
hollow hawk
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I'm really glad. I hope you are ok and safe.

left girder
hollow hawk
left girder
hollow hawk
left girder
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Like how so?

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I'll just end up going back to my parents house probably

hollow hawk
hollow hawk
hollow hawk
left girder
left girder
hollow hawk
left girder
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They only work on behavior. They do not get too the root of the problem. Plus; the only mental hospital I can go to is a private-owned facility that feels like they can do whatever they want there.

hollow hawk
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oh

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sorry

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can you try focus on something like keep your mind occupied

left girder
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I can try but it's hard. Really hard.

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My whole life has been really hard.

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I've done a lot of hard things

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Really hard things

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And I've been through a lot of really hard things.

hollow hawk
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see you’re strong don’t let those thoughts get to you

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you made it this far keep pushing

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i know there’s good coming your way

left girder
hollow hawk
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cuz ppl that got it hard get good things bruh trust

left girder
hollow hawk
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that’s how life is you gotta keep going forward tho

left girder
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Life sucks

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Trying to make it not suck as much is hard

deep garden
left girder
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Ig there's a lot of good things going for me but still

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All the ||abuse|| I've endured

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The trauma I have

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The ||self harm addiction||

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The nightmares each night

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Not able to sleep

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Slowly losing my friends

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Slowly losing my sanity again

deep garden
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I understand what you are going through. I've been there, I almost took my own life

left girder
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My friend wanting to ||kill themselves|| and I can't support them and its too much on me

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A lot of regrets

left girder
deep garden
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It was the worst time of my life

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I had the knife in my hands and I almost put it through my chest

left girder
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I've been there before too back in 2020

deep garden
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This was back in 2015

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I still think about it from time to time

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I almost did it but something stopped me

left girder
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What?

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What stopped you?

deep garden
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Idk if I was just too lazy to do it

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Or deep down I didn't want to die

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I put the knife down and said I would try again in a week

left girder
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Did you?

deep garden
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No, because in that week I started a new job

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I wanted to kill myself for the first month during the job but I didn't get around to doing it

left girder
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Oh

deep garden
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Then I realized that my meds weren't doing anything to help me so I stopped taking them

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After I stopped taking them I could feel again

left girder
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Ok

deep garden
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The meds I took made me feel nothing not bad nor good just nothing

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After I stopped I had a talk with the guys at work and they helped me through the pain

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I don't know your situation entirely but I do know that the world isn't as bad as you think it is

left girder
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My bad.

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I should have specified

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My life sucks. Not life in general

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At least so far my life just sucks

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And at least right now it does.

deep garden
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That's the key "Right now"

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Things aren't going your way right now but I assure you they will if you stick around

left girder
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Have they really gone my way for very long? Not really

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Not very much

deep garden
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My life has been mainly down hill for 21 years and now it's finally starting to get good

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You just have to wait

left girder
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Until I'm 21?

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?

viscid sun
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its always different

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for instance

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your life could start getting better within the next few months

viscid sun
left girder
viscid sun
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Wouldn't wanna doubt it , you never know .

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wishing you a happy life aswell 🙏

left girder
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Thankyou

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I'm not going to do it because of my Nana

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Though I still have ||pills|| in my room like I'm about to ||commit||

viscid sun
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Before I say something whats the purpose of the pills like what are they for

left girder
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Depression

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Anxiety

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Sleep

viscid sun
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ohh

viscid sun
left girder
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I have to go for a bit.

hollow hawk
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@left girder Hey, I wish I could have gotten here sooner, but I hope you are still here. Just know things can get better. ❤️‍🩹

left girder
hollow hawk
glad aurora
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if you ever need someone to talk to im here for you

left girder
glad aurora
left girder