My love life

[inland depot]

I met this boy in my freshman year. I like him very much. He treats me so well. Like a queen. He puts me before everything else. We've had our moments and our ups and downs, but I know that he cares for me very much. During this time period, we have not dated due to my own insecurity. The thing is that during my freshman year I wore a mask as it was mandated. My parents have always been crazy about covid as I had a 2-year-old brother at the time and they really wanted to avoid him getting sick. They wouldn't let me eat lunch at school because they never wanted me to take my mask off. This caused so many to become my friend without knowing what I looked like. Freshman year ended and not once did that boy see my face. Sophomore year began and my parents still forced me to wear a mask to school, even though it wasn't mandated anymore. This caused me to gain an attachment to wearing masks. I began to feel insecure without one. A second year went by and this boy had still never seen my face in real life before. Ofc I had certain friends who had. Like the ones who I went out to the mall with, or those who came over to my house, etc... (Pt1)

(Pt2) Anyways during these 2 years this boy confessed to me. At first, I rejected him, but then I told him to wait. He means sm to me I didn't want to let him go but I was so scared he would think I was ugly without a mask on. He had seen pictures of me without a mask on and she said I looked pretty but I always felt that I looked different in pictures then I do in real life. I've had friends who would make jokes like, ", you take your mask off and s like, 'Um nvm, I'm good'" and that shit genuinely fucks with my mind. I'm going into my junior year and my parents have finally decided to let me go without a mask. During the summer I've been going to the gym every day, doing skin care, eating healthy, etc. Today I went out with my friends to a hot pot and I didn't wear a mask. School starts in about 35 days and I'm so scared. I want this boy so bad but what if he doesn't want me anymore? I've told him about this feeling and he said he thinks I'm perfect no matter what but I really don't feel like that is true. He says he admires pictures of me. Never in my life have I ever had anyone tell me I was ugly, I just recently started feeling like this. I hate looking at pictures or videos taking of me. It just hurts me.

Please just let me know if I'm overthinking it/ being dramtic. Or if you're also going through something similar.

[glass pasture]

If he said u look good on pictures, then there isnt any reason of why he should reject u without a mask. Everyone thinks that they look different in pictures then in reality, and hate how they sound in videos. Although i dont invalidate your fear, because i know that its a insecurity, but its a paranoid one. I havent been in the exact same situation, but i had a gf that was very insecure about her apperance. She always over-reacted to small things, and was very worried about how she looked, in reality, she always looked good to me, and the small imperfections, is what makes us human, so i always liked her all the way through. thats what most people in love always do.

[inland depot]

No I understand that it’s just an inner feeling. I just genuinely don’t know what i look like. Some days I think I look pretty and others I think my face looks wide. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do to fix this