Over the past few years I've been feeling down. Lately I've lost happiness in a bunch of the things I use to love. I've noticed something about myself recently though. Everytime I've been having suicidal thoughts or anything along those lines I start feeling a bit happier. Its horrible because I'll start crying and thinking about death and then I'll just get a bit happier. Any idea what's happening?
#TW: Suicidal thoughts
robust umbra
tidal bane
well whats happening to you that might bve causing this?
peak badger
Over the past few years I've been feeling down. Lately I've lost happiness in a ...
Its a subtle but common sign in suicidal people. The brain starts to be happy because it thinks it will finaly have peace and escape. The quesiton is, why do you want to suicide? "lost happines in things i loved", well what happend? Something very negative? Or you just dont feel pleasure? Details matter if we want to differntiate if the problem is in stress, hormones, mindset, or just experiencing a negative event, all of that leads to difficulty with experiencing positive emotion.
robust umbra
TW- Sexually Assault
I can go more in detail about the situation if you want it but here's the situation summarized.
||Some dude sexually assaulted me and got away with it. I think he's planning it again too with one of closest friends. Basically maybe around 4-6 people including myself were sexually assaulted. I suppose one of the few things I suppose. It's been a year though so I wouldn't think that would be it though.||
peak badger
TW- Sexually Assault
I can go more in detail about the situation if you wa...
Well trauma is definitely a big component of depression. Other then that, how is your social life? your daily routine? your family life? what do you think about your future?
robust umbra
My social life is decent, my future I can see myself trying to be successful and failing, my family life is great except that my dad yells at me for a slight mistake, and my daily routine is always changing
peak badger
Do you experience a lot of stress daily?
robust umbra
For now I haven't much except for myself or my parents stressing me out every other day. In a few months it's probably going to be stress daily so sort of I suppose
peak badger
well
sounds like a mix of negative life events/stressors
disintegrating into anhedonia/depression?
+trying to escape it by thoughts of suicide?
robust umbra
I guess so
peak badger
i mean it happend to me to
that anhedonia
as well as feeling happy when having suicidal thoughts
sometimes
robust umbra
It sucks because it might stay like this for a while then
peak badger
well, for a while yeah
you could try changing your routine
depending on your dopamine output if you wanna feel more joy from the thighs you like
stress regulation or excercise
or just meds from a psychiatrist
explore c:
or try psychotherapy if you have the money
if not
insurance will pay for a psychiatrist
robust umbra
Alright thanks. For a few days now I've added going outside for walks and stuff to a daily thing
peak badger
Btw did you report the assault?
robust umbra
Yes, but they decided to just allow him off for some reason. They gave him a warning and he got in trouble, but basically he was told that they don't care.
peak badger
Thats fucked up
robust umbra
Exactly!
peak badger
He didnt even recieve a restraining order?
robust umbra
For about half a year and it wouldn't be forced on