I wanna k!ll myself so bad right now. I want to scream until I have lost my breath. I want to break each limb one by one. I want to smash my head into a wall. I want to drown in my own bl●●d. Im so f!cking tired of life, im stupid.
I cant even tell my own parents who I've known since the first breath I've took. Im useless. My parents wiuld never be in debt. It's me. I want to starve so my parents can get more money so they can live. I am a mistake, I just want to grab sciccors. Right after I finish this paragraph, will.
I want to smash the keyboard instead of writing proper words. I've given myself 9 days to live. If I dont feel better after those 9 days, I'll be free of pain, up in the skies. But i want to burn in hell for eternities.
I've been suffering for so long and still don't have courage even though its like 3 words. "I feel down."
The person, who i actually told them about my feelings, ruined me more, because they called my Mum a brat. Its my Mother, I love her. I dont know. I want to kill myself, help
<@&993332385670246420>
#kill me
frigid inlet
spare oar
Do you think it'll all be better for your parents when you die?
I do hope that within those 9 days that you will find a light.. Tell your parents
I'm sure they'll understand what you mean.
I know you don't want to, as you feel like you're burdening them more, but if you don't it'll never go away
frigid inlet
They wouldn't believe me
They raised me and it told me they would ridicuke me
My mum would surely tell me to get over it
My dad would be nice to me. But its going to lend me a deeper part of life.
I've never been there
So i just wanna end
spare oar
With my help alone.. I know I won't be able to change your mind.. So, I do hope that you') l see a light. But I also know that mothers aren't supposed to ignore their child in need of support.. She may have her reasons and I can understand if she does, but you also need support.. Have you ever reached out to a therapist before?
spare oar
... I may not be able to change your mind about you trying to ||kill|| yourself but a light will always be out there if you keep searching
..
They love you and they trust you.. But I guess they always felt like your life was better than theirs as a child and they never had a thought that you were unhappy
frigid inlet
Yes i guess we can say that's why I didn't tell them
spare oar
Your parents aren't horrible but they shouldn't neglect your needs either
spare oar
You've been bullied I assume?
frigid inlet
Yes. And also school has more reasons for my life being like this, that it would take 2 days to explain it all
Teachers yell at students and then expect the kids to behave.
Principal is useless, all she does is sit on her ass and has holidays all the time and gets paid for it.
spare oar
I'm sorry for you... And for the people around the school.
frigid inlet
You shouldn't be sorry. The teachers, and roles higher than students dont care
spare oar
You have your own choices and you are your own person.. But it is up to you whether or not you want to continue it. I'm not telling you to give up, but it is your choice if you wanna do it or not, but what light will you get when you just keep waiting and not take action?
You're still young and you kind of matured early
frigid inlet
If i gave up, killed myself, imagine being painless, your suffering has ended,
spare oar
But if you did.. You'll never see the future that you wanted to see... Questions like, did you ever find peace in life other than death?
Did you finally be able to help your parents out?
Did you finally get your dream job?
frigid inlet
I would tell my parents
Its
My mother insults me all the time
But she is kind sometimes
The insukts she tells me all the time, "im gonna f#cking kill you." "You're a f#cking b#tch."
I love my Mum, but she is abkt rude
spare oar
.. That's not normal
frigid inlet
Its not?
frigid inlet
She smokes
spare oar
Does she do anything else? Smoking is generally normal and it doesn't affect the persons mental health much, more on physical health
frigid inlet
She blames me for her heart infection
supple mist
She smokes
What does she smoke? it could have potential outlets depending on the substance
spare oar
When has she started throwing you those types of insults?
frigid inlet
Uh.
spare oar
Everyone's mum smokes dont they
No, not necessarily. It's not uncommon to find people smoking, but not everyone does it
frigid inlet
I cant count that much
Probably when I was 5
But my mum has forced me how to be mature, I just can't get rid of it
spare oar
Do you think there's any potential reasons why she throws insults at you?
frigid inlet
Im probably behaving bad
supple mist
that doesnt really justify he throwing insults
spare oar
Not necessarily, I meant like do you somehow remember how she started to throw insults at you
Or did it just randomly happen?
supple mist
probably just has some personal problems, or in work
causing her anger and frustration
which she projects onto others
to let it out
very common
frigid inlet
My mum doesn't work
supple mist
bruh, that is a big reason why
frigid inlet
We don't have any vehicle since my dad take our one to work
supple mist
having no structure in your day is very negative for people
spare oar
Does your father and mother have a close relationship?
frigid inlet
And my mum lost her drivers licence when she was pregnant
frigid inlet
Does your father and mother have a close relationship?
I wouldnt say so.
spare oar
And my mum lost her drivers licence when she was pregnant
Was there a reason why?
frigid inlet
Was there a reason why?
Idk
spare oar
I wouldnt say so.
Do they regularly ignore each other, or they just don't seem happy with each other
frigid inlet
Do they regularly ignore each other, or they just don't seem happy with each oth...
They find each other annoying sometimes
spare oar
It seems like they could have problems with each other and your mum feels like, that you are the memory that she used to have and doesn't want to remember