help

[unique skiff]

whenever my girlfriend talks to anyone even her friends why do i get this feeling of jealousy and overthinking and idk what to do weve been broken up for a while and this is one of the main reasons

[agile sandal]

Were you scared of losing her?

[unique skiff]

back then no

i just was jealous

and didnt like how she talked to any except me and her family

[agile sandal]

Like casually talking with other people? Or?

[unique skiff]

yes

but now

wdym by casual?

for example

[agile sandal]

Like "how are you doing" type of questions, catching up on things

[unique skiff]

yeah

but back then it was way worst bvack then

even in school i wouldnt like if anyone talked to her even for work but

im not like that no more

its just casual convos even if its about random stuff

just gets me jealousa nd hurt

[agile sandal]

Do you feel like it might be how you view relationships in general? It's perfectly healthy to have spaces and boundaries in a relationship otherwise it might feel suffocating for the other person

[unique skiff]

no

its just

i do not want her to have friends

girl friends

and i get jealous when they talk to their friends that are girls and that ik dont do anything bad and respect us

but we havent dated since october

[agile sandal]

Did you feel like there was any lack of reassurance and trust? Or you're just controlling and you felt justified to feel that way because they were your partner

[agile sandal]

Are you trying to get back with her?

[unique skiff]

second one

[unique skiff]

ye

starting to think its bpd

[agile sandal]

ask your doctor to run tests

[agile sandal]

do you still feel that way? Or do you want to work on it

[unique skiff]

i feel that way still

but i mtrying to work on it

[agile sandal]

you have to start trusting her and learn to be okay with being alone without your partner

[unique skiff]

how tho

i trust her

i just idk

its just

hard to explain yk?

and idk if i wanna go in full deptjh

[agile sandal]

yeah I get it, its okay if you can't find the words

you have to learn to reassure yourself that she still loves you regardless and maybe you can ask her "oh what are you talking with so and so or what are you doing" in a friendly manner

[unique skiff]

but

idk if she loves me

she acts like she does but whenever shes mad

she curses me tf out

and calls me stupid and annoying

and says she never wants a relationship with me again despite

telling me things like she loves me and wants to cuddle, etc

[agile sandal]

people tend to say irrationally things when their emotions run high, and it might be because of built up negativity. It doesn't mean that she means it

[unique skiff]

yeah but sometimes

she says she means it

but obviously toned down

like for example sometimes she would say she doesnt want me in her life

and i woudl take it as she doesnt want me at all but once things calmed, she would say she doesnt want me if im like this all the time

[agile sandal]

then it might be built up anger from something that hasn't been properly communicated and resolved

[unique skiff]

prolly all the pain ive caused her

and stress

[agile sandal]

maybe, but at least you want to try to do better?

[unique skiff]

yes

ive been trying but recently its been so bad

i ask her dumb questions

cuz i overthink too

overthink if she wants me here and what place i hold for her

just everything bruh

[agile sandal]

it just feels like you're not ready for a relationship, and she might not give you the communication that you both need

[unique skiff]

😿

[agile sandal]

a healthy relationship needs trust and respect

[unique skiff]

i dont wanna give this girl up tho

i know

im probably gonna get therapy or sum to deal with my feelings

and things will naturally fall in place

but i am pretty delusional

[agile sandal]

yeah that might help

[agile sandal]

at least you are aware you know? That's the first step

[unique skiff]

yeah

idk

even tho things have been going on like this for over a year

i can see change

for myself

and for her

[agile sandal]

yeah don't give up, maybe tell her that you're working on changing for the better, but don't dip into a relationship just yet

[unique skiff]

but we dont

talk everyday

call

[unique skiff]

she already knows

but whenever shes mad she always tells me im not changing

its hard to explain cuz u know very little of it but ik what i have to do but idk if i can

and this entire time it might be bad to admit but i always wanted therapy but i always felt like i would be a loser if i went or asked yk?

[agile sandal]

I used to feel the same way because well I felt like I could've held my own. But it really does help and there's nothing embarrassing about it, a lot of people go there for help

[unique skiff]

ye i was always

[agile sandal]

Change doesn't happen instantly

[unique skiff]

the type of person who thought i can handle everything on my own

[agile sandal]

yeah but there's only so much we can do for ourselves

[unique skiff]

ur right

thank u

i would go more in depth but idk

i hate telling ppl that much yk? i rather keep it between me and her

[agile sandal]

don't worry about it

share what you feel comfortable sharing

[unique skiff]

yeah

thanks for listening and giving advice fr

i need therapy fr

[agile sandal]

well I hope the best for you !

[unique skiff]

of course

thank u

hope everything goes well for u too

[agile sandal]

anytime and thank you : )

[unique skiff]

@agile sandal

well

things happened and she said

the reason she can talk to her friends all the time is cuz she doesn’t see them all the time or call em

and

I said then what? r u giving me reasons why I’m worst than everyone else

and she’s gonna say yes

and

her friend told me they talk a lot when she’s with em but with me she never talks

and especially these few days she’s been dry, getting upset if I ask questions if I overthink

And just ignoring me

and

I think ima just end it

I try my hardest but she always on some bullshit

but maybe it’s my fault in the end bruh

[agile sandal]

its hard to trust someone back when the trust was broken before

don't blame yourself over something that you didn't know how to overcome

the thing is, is that atleast you went to go get help and held yourself accountable

[unique skiff]

but I know none of this would of happened if it wasn’t for me

but it’s not just that

She just left me delivered for hours

[agile sandal]

sometimes we can't always help the way we feel, and things can't always go the way we want it to

maybe its for the best to give each other some space

[unique skiff]

yeah

[agile sandal]

I know its hard but I hope that you continue focusing on yourself more !

[unique skiff]

yeah

bruh she gon respond

Like an hour before

And say

it’s cuz she talks to me all the time 24/7 but 3-4 to her friends on the weekdays and not always on the weekends

Like bruh

And she gon ask me to call her and I didn’t respond cuz I’m out and she gonna get mad

[agile sandal]

I think it really all comes down to communication, I think she should have explained to you more sooner

If she can't do that then is there really any point in continuing the relationship?

[unique skiff]

ye u right

well uh

things ended

well

things didnt go well

we were playing roblox and i killed her by accident

and i apologized saying im sorry and it was an accident and i wanted to help her but

then she says shut up stop talking about it

and got mad cuz she told me before but i forgot

and she gonna call me "fucking stupid because i have to repeat it for u"

and i told her why is she acting like a bitch and an asshole when im just tryna help her

then i call her a bitch (ik im wrong for that) then say shes acting like that girl she had drama with

then she says ur fucking blocked and maybe its better for us to stop talking

and she blocks me on every social media and wtv

and

then i ask her to friend to talk to her to unblock me and stuff and i guess her friends talks to me but then she blocks me and removes me as her follower on tt 😭

@agile sandal

but maybe its better things go this way

[agile sandal]

Keep it that way, it just feels like a constant battling of trying to one up the other person. There's honestly no reason for her to feel angry at a video game, I think she just wanted something to yell at you for.

And let her block you

Block her back, and block her friends

[unique skiff]

Idk if she was mad at the game

I think it’s cuz I forgot and she prolly thought I wasn’t listening

it makes sense if she was mad at the game and I be mad at games too but I guess she just got mad cuz I was talking when she didn’t wanna talk to me

And I just made it worst by saying all that

And honestly, a part of me still wants her back and it’s been like 5+ hours since she’s blocked me and I still hope she comes back but idk maybe it’s better she doesn’t

[agile sandal]

Do you feel like youre trying to justify the way she acted towards you?

[unique skiff]

no I think it’s the truth

[agile sandal]

Hmmm

[unique skiff]

that’s why she was mad in the first place

when things r fine and she’s not mad or annoyed at me

she acts so happy and talks like she’s excited

[agile sandal]

Yeah but its not a good enough reason, I think she was just looking for something to get mad at you

[unique skiff]

but obviously sometimes she doesn’t wanna talk and just wants to be on her phone

and wants time for herself until she wants to talk

[unique skiff]

I disagree

I think she was genuinely mad but I just made it worst

she would always say

I got her so mad to the point she just became a different person basically

And I’m the only person who gets her this mad

idk maybe she’s just desensitized and used to the way she acts it’s a habit now yk?

[agile sandal]

But do you intentionally do it?

[unique skiff]

no

I overthink

and I ask questions a lot

And it bothers her

[agile sandal]

Then that shouldnt be a problem, you didnt know how to control it

[unique skiff]

but this time it’s cuz I called her a bitch

and stuff

[agile sandal]

Yeah thats also a problem

[unique skiff]

yeah but

when

someone u care about is

constantly overthinking over something so small that doesn’t even make sense

And constantly asks questions u would be drained too right ?

it would make u worry itself and just think they wouldn’t trust u yk?

[agile sandal]

Yes but it really takes enough patience to work through it, to communicate thoughts, feelings

It just feels like to me you guys both arent ready for a relationship

[unique skiff]

yeah I know

she always tells me she’s not ready for a relationship or boys or whatever

obviously I regret calling her that and I never do

it’s just

idk bruh

I apologized and she still was upset I try my hardest and I jst feel like I’m not noticed

[agile sandal]

She isnt emotionally available to give you what you need reassurance and you arent able to provide her the care and love atm

[agile sandal]

Yes it does feel invalidating

But why crawl back?

[unique skiff]

idk man

she’s the first person

to make me feel like me

to make me feel loved

[agile sandal]

And that doesnt mean she is your last

Youre still young

You have a lot of time to meet new people

[unique skiff]

I know but it’s hard

especially now like

[agile sandal]

You are your own rock, is how I see things

[unique skiff]

I don’t even talk to my friends out of school

[agile sandal]

Maybe you should try doing that

Occupy yourself

[unique skiff]

before when I was out I was thinking about how

even if she came back

[agile sandal]

Think about what you want that will benefit you

[unique skiff]

I feel like the way she treats me makes me feel worst than what I’m going through now

I would want her and I do but that feeling knowing I might not even be happy keeps me away

[unique skiff]

I don’t even know what I want 😭

I try my best but idk

[agile sandal]

Maybe you just havent found something that gave you that rush and feeling

Try something new

Maybe try cooking for a change

[unique skiff]

a part of me wants to find a way to get her back for the millionth time she’s blocked me but no point if she don’t want to yk

[agile sandal]

Do something that you know you have control over, it just feels like you lost yourself

[unique skiff]

😭 my mom does NOT let me cook in the kitchen

today and yesterday I went out more but

I only thought about her still yk

[agile sandal]

You have to learn one way or the other

[unique skiff]

feels like I lost myself so long ago

I know how to cook just not allowed to

[agile sandal]

My parents didnt let me either and I still cooked

[agile sandal]

Okay set this as a goal

And work towards it

[unique skiff]

but

like before I even got close with her

like

I never knew who I was nor what I wanted in my life yk

don’t know what to do, I go out sometimes, I play games, I go to the gym sometimes, I talk to my friends if I’m out or my family

And all of it just feels empty

[agile sandal]

I feel like you made that relationship too much a part of your life

[unique skiff]

of course ik thats where i went wrong

but even before her i did things but they all felt empty

[agile sandal]

Maybe thats why

[unique skiff]

and i was lost, i wouldnt cry but i just felt empty yk?

i did things to better myself but i never got better

[agile sandal]

Because that feeling of knowing someone loves you, you tend to cling to it

[unique skiff]

and as soon as me and her got close i got too comfortable and i poured all my issues onto her and now we are here

[unique skiff]

yeah

idk bro

even out with my friends

i just felt

like crying

idk just empty

even now bruh

[agile sandal]

Its really cheesy and typical but you need to love yourself to love someone else

[unique skiff]

didnt wanna come home cuz i knew i would just cry

yeah i agree

[agile sandal]

Then cry

Let all your emotions out

Think of it as releasing all the negativity in your life

[unique skiff]

yeah but its hard

i have the feeling of crying but nothing comes out

[agile sandal]

Youre becoming too used to it maybe

[unique skiff]

i still cry a lot and im in pain a lot but most of the time

im numb

especially

[agile sandal]

Yeah I understand

[unique skiff]

when me and her used to argue so much when we were together

but bruh

i still want her back

idk i feel like i had the perfect relationship but i messed it up because how my insecurities and mental health issues before her

especially now

idk i just hate myself

hate myself for everything ive ruined

i just feel like im going insane and losing myself

like last year i would stay up 6 am everyday on school days until she came back

and it just feels like thats me now too

[agile sandal]

But its not a perfect relationship

There can never be one

There is always ups and downs in a relationship, but its like a test to see if you guys are both emotionally ready

[unique skiff]

yeah but i fucked it up

back then i didnt trust her at all

she was the nicest and most perfect girl ever

[agile sandal]

You didnt, stop trying to blame yourself over something that you couldnt control

[unique skiff]

and i just ruined her

[agile sandal]

And so let her go

Let her heal on her own

And let yourself heal

You went to get help, that was your first step remember

[unique skiff]

[agile sandal]

You acknowledged what you did wrong and now youre planning to fix it

Learn to be patient with yourself

[unique skiff]

tbr

i knew what i did wrong so long ago

cuz i controlled her, not even overthinking

and i just

never tried to fix it

the emotions were too much and i gave up

and i hate myself for that

[unique skiff]

but why

why did u decide to help me

[agile sandal]

Because im a nice person

And i think that youre too hard on yourself

[unique skiff]

yeah but i just feel like its the truth

[agile sandal]

And sometimes our minds dont need that type of things, we can only handle so much

[unique skiff]

if i can just change none of this woulda happened

man

[agile sandal]

I said awhile ago that change doesnt happen quick

[unique skiff]

just feel like this girl broke me beyond repair

[agile sandal]

Dont look for blame

Look for solutions

[unique skiff]

and i did for her but she'll heal because i was the cause of problems

[unique skiff]

i know but i told u that

this has been going on for over a year

and since last month have i rlly tried

[agile sandal]

Depression, break up?

[unique skiff]

wdym?

weve been broken since october 2022

but we broke up originally in january 2021 and got back together may 2022

and weve been talking since 2020

[agile sandal]

Even if the feelings linger we still have to learn to work things around it

[unique skiff]

and ik if she comes back ill let her sadly

[agile sandal]

Learn to fill the gap

[unique skiff]

yeah

[agile sandal]

Block her

[unique skiff]

yeah but i feel like i rely that too much on other ppl

[agile sandal]

For her benefit and yours

[unique skiff]

i know i should listen but

and ik

youll prolly think im stupid but i cant bring myself to

[agile sandal]

Yes you can

[unique skiff]

i dont think she will even care

or check at all

if she does come back then what

im stuck in the middle (like ditto)

as in i want her back and i want to be happy and love her

then the other part of me is telling me shes gonna treat me like shit even if i dont overthink or get jealous and i wont be happy or wtv and that if she wanted to she would

[agile sandal]

Lol

[agile sandal]

Okay so you know what is gojng to happen if you do let her back

Just set yourself mini goals

I will block her for a day

I will block her for a week

I will spend my time doing things I have control over

Like cleaning my bedroom

Going out

Journaling maybe?

Watching anime, shows, movies

[unique skiff]

havent watched an anime in so long

i keep up with one piece tho

i can try to watch a show or movie but idk cant focus ona movie

[unique skiff]

but even then

i just feel like ima just let it happen

just dont get her mad is the only thing i gotta worry about

[unique skiff]

yeah maybe

but thats kinda a one time thing

i cant do it

i want her but and i feel like im losing my mind

😨

[agile sandal]

Its not going to be as simple as that

[agile sandal]

Dude thats like 1000 eps Lol

[unique skiff]

the manga 😭

[unique skiff]

im losing it brooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

IM LOSING IT !!!!!!!!!!!

[agile sandal]

You really just have to take the initiative to do what is right for yourself

[unique skiff]

bro

[unique skiff]

yeah ur right

[agile sandal]

Im telling you from an eagle eye perspective

[unique skiff]

yeah everyone tells me the same thing too

but

im so pathetic and so willing to throw my pride aside even now

that im willing to literally

ask my sister or her sister or anyone to text her to get back into contat with me

oops

yeah im crazy bruh

ur gonna be mad '

i texted her on my pc and she gon respond syaing she got it

[agile sandal]

Dudeeeee

[unique skiff]

😭

[agile sandal]

It just feels like we talked over this for nothing

[unique skiff]

no i understand

[agile sandal]

I hope you got something out ofvit

[unique skiff]

ill still do the things u tell me

ill still remember what u tell me

i just

hope ur not disappointed in me

she prolly wont even talk to me

but i just dont want what we talked about to feel like nothing

[unique skiff]

i pray

but even after all this, rather what i do or not do

r we just gonna forget each other after this 😭

[agile sandal]

I mean im always still here

I just hope that you think it over before you do anything else

Its hard to think when youre feeling a lot in the moment

[unique skiff]

yeah i agree

[unique skiff]

yeah but are we just tell each other problems 😭

[agile sandal]

What why did i have a brain fart reading that

[unique skiff]

LOL i wrote it wrong

she left my delivered she gon say

"I got your message what"

i meant r we just gonna be here to listen to each others problems

[agile sandal]

Well as long as you have the thread open

Duddeee

Think this over

Please

[unique skiff]

ima just die

[unique skiff]

I am

and

every part of me is

lost

i want her but i dont know

me and her can talk and be happy
but

maybe i shoulda just lost feelings when she did 😄

or maybe

i just need therapy to fix me

or maybe

idk

[unique skiff]

dms

and idk bruh

maybe just be friends with her

[unique skiff]

prolly where i went wrong

or maybe if i just wasnt such a shitty controlling, overthinking person we woulda been back

[agile sandal]

You gotta hold yourself to it then

[unique skiff]

i feel like im too far deep to give up

but i hate myself too much but then im too selfish about my own emotions

[agile sandal]

Okay well you are hopeful

[unique skiff]

where i hurt my own

[unique skiff]

delusional 😭

yeah maybe hopeful

bro

a few weeks ago things were going well

[agile sandal]

I mean we’ve all been there

[unique skiff]

i told her how i felt bout being numb without it getting outta hand

we laughed all the time

we were happy

no arguments

then boom.

she said she was bored and she was texting me

[agile sandal]

Like i said relationships always have ups and downs

[unique skiff]

and i took it too far

cuz i thought she

was only texting me cuz she was bored even tho i knew she wasnt

then

it just felt apart then

[agile sandal]

You read into it

[unique skiff]

yeah but if i can do my part that ive been tryna hold myself to

then i think those downs wont too bad

if shes willing to talk

but i got a genuine question too

[agile sandal]

Yess, but it doesnt always have to be being in a relationship to do that

Youre just trying hard to prove something to her

[unique skiff]

she left me on delivered so she MIGHT be asleep

but

[agile sandal]

Think it over

[unique skiff]

yesterday i went to the carnival for like 4 hours but

she stayed up till like 3 am

but when shes around me she sleeps like at 11 sometimes

why>

[unique skiff]

everything or just what i want to do or her?

[agile sandal]

Youre overthinking it

[agile sandal]

Everything

[unique skiff]

it makes sense

im not worried ab it , its just curiosity

like sh always goes to sleep so early when shes around me but

stays up so late on her own

and shes gonna say its cuz of school and she doesnt wanna ruin her schedule but when im not around shes ruining it

[agile sandal]

Maybe you talking with her tires her out, you get tired when youre having fun

[unique skiff]

i trust obviously its nun bad but its just weird

[unique skiff]

trueeeeeee

she does say

my voice calms her and makes her sleepy

[agile sandal]

You really have to take her word on things

[unique skiff]

i do

shes trustworthy

[agile sandal]

And she told you that it was her schedule

And thats that

Nothing else to think about

[unique skiff]

ye but shes gonna mess her schedule when im not around ? 😭

[agile sandal]

Nuh uhhhhh

[unique skiff]

she is on her phone tho

[agile sandal]

Youre overthinking it again

[unique skiff]

that jawn makes u stay up for so long

nooooooooooo it makes sense tho

she doesnt wanna mess up her schedule then messes it up

[unique skiff]

yeah ill try my best

but ye u right im overthinking too much

[agile sandal]

Yes

[unique skiff]

ion even care about it she was just up

[agile sandal]

See you were subconsciously doing it

[unique skiff]

on tt or youtube or wtv

OH ITS A HABIT NOW LORD SAVE ME PLEASE

but she did get mad

i kept calling her

and i was asking what she did why she calling other ppl

and she would say why do u always think the worst

[agile sandal]

Hmmmm

Shes right

[unique skiff]

true

is it cool if i just call u steph bruh

feels mad weird just not addressing u by anythig

[agile sandal]

Lol its all g

My friends call me rhat anyway

[unique skiff]

ye

but idk bro

ye she unblocked me but

im thinking we might not even talk

cuz she left me delivered but oh well

and

idk if she will call or say good morning or wtv

and

[agile sandal]

Anddd

Just unsend it

[unique skiff]

cant

sent it too long ago

[agile sandal]

So what

[unique skiff]

it doesnt let unsend after like 2 mins 😭

but

[agile sandal]

O lol

[unique skiff]

basically idk if we gon talk cuz she left me delivered

and

she was awake at 11:13

when shes normally asleep at 11

cuz

[agile sandal]

Dude overthinking it

[unique skiff]

of school

LOL

[agile sandal]

Stop

Just relax

[unique skiff]

nah frl tho why she awake when she normally be sleep bro why she ruining her schedule U GOT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[agile sandal]

A relationship shouldnt make you feel this way

[unique skiff]

nah might be laundry

ye u right

she prolly asleep thats why she didnt respond

[agile sandal]

STOP THINKING

[unique skiff]

or maybe idk

maybe she texted did sum else for a lil then went to sleep

oh well wtv

[agile sandal]

You know the answer

Look at yourself

Youre going at it again

[unique skiff]

man wtf

SHE AWAKE!!!!!!!!

SHE TEXTED ME

WTF

WTF

WTF

[agile sandal]

Dont reply bro

[unique skiff]

she letting her hair dry

💀

[agile sandal]

Its crazy i used to be just like you

Actually how old are you?

16?

[unique skiff]

17

[unique skiff]

locked in like this 🤞

WTF

SHE A LIAR?????????? SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA STAY AT HER FRIENDS HAIR APPOINTMENT FOR 2-3 HOURS AND SHE WAS GONE FOR LIKE

5

oh she a liar

[unique skiff]

r u 16 too?

yo wtf she doing AFTER BRUH????????

[unique skiff]

she gon say "ok"

"Well ig we can cal but dont be surprise if i block you the morning"

WTF BRUH

[agile sandal]

No im 17

[unique skiff]

ima just say

whatever ur comfortable with, if u want to talk or if u want me here then its up to u

[agile sandal]

I was reading the text

If i feel uncomfortable i will tell you

[unique skiff]

wdym?

[agile sandal]

Oh bro

[unique skiff]

ima say that to her

😭

[agile sandal]

I read that completely wrong

Lmfao

[unique skiff]

bruh she a lil bro

[agile sandal]

Look its almost reaching 12 here

[unique skiff]

PLAYING ROBLOX WITH HER FRIENDS BRUH IMA MURDER HER WTF I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIR

jk

[unique skiff]

ye

same

11:46

u east coast?

[agile sandal]

Ye

Ye im just tired

[unique skiff]

i was thinking of staying up all night

but i feel better now that she texted me

ye im delusional asf i need therapy like its not even about my image or pride anymore i need HELP!

[agile sandal]

You got help

R u a junior?

[unique skiff]

ye

[agile sandal]

Or senior

[unique skiff]

im a junior

gonna be a senior next year

[agile sandal]

Okkkk

Well im a senior

See but when you mature a bit

I dont like saying where im from

[unique skiff]

nah its fine

[agile sandal]

Ye

[unique skiff]

wtv ur comfortable with ofc

[unique skiff]

wat

[agile sandal]

When you mature a bit

When you think about college and whatnot

Thats when you gotta be real with yourself

And actualy think is this relationship really gonna benefit me

Because youre going to be thinking about so many other things

Like i used to be just like you

Overthinking stuff

And all of a sudden I just didnt feel the need to put so much of my energy into something that I already knew

You just gotta tell yourself it is what it is

[unique skiff]

hmmmmm

yeah ur right

[agile sandal]

Atp it dont matter if im right or wrong, are you going to do something about it

[unique skiff]

about what

[agile sandal]

Helping yourself

Not the relationship

[unique skiff]

yes

I always try

[agile sandal]

But yourself you you

[unique skiff]

yeah

that’s what I’ve been tryna do

My friends told me

[agile sandal]

You really have to stick to it

[unique skiff]

To better myself for me not her

And it’s stuck with me

[agile sandal]

Like constantly

[unique skiff]

bruh we fting

yeah

of course

[agile sandal]

👌

[unique skiff]

main thing is

prolly my overthinking and jealousy

why was I even like this

my ex cheated on me but I got over it kinda fast

didn’t think about her at all

so idk if it’s that

[agile sandal]

Maybe you didnt allow yourself to feel your emotions

[unique skiff]

she fell asleep otp

[agile sandal]

Maybe thats why its comign back now

[unique skiff]

yeah probably

I always

shut my emotions down and distracted myself and ran away rather than confront em

didn’t want to self diagnose

even now I tell myself I’m good

[agile sandal]

You really have to give yourself that space

And stay consistent

Thats all that i have to say

[unique skiff]

yeah of course

yeah

[unique skiff]

wdym by space tho

[agile sandal]

Space to grieve

Space to feel sad

To let it out

[unique skiff]

away from her right?

[agile sandal]

Even if you dont cryb

[unique skiff]

and not putting it on her

[agile sandal]

Yes

[unique skiff]

Even if it’s cuz of her?

[agile sandal]

Yes

Learn to cry on your own

And when you feel okay, communicate to her how you feel

[unique skiff]

nah prolly not

[agile sandal]

That way you dont jumble over your words and say something you might regret

[unique skiff]

scared she gonna get mad

true

[agile sandal]

Then communicate with her

Hey i need some space right now, is it okay if i can talk to you more about it after

And if she gets mad

Then that is something she needs to work on

Not you

[unique skiff]

👍

true

of course

[agile sandal]

Stop tip toeing in the relatioonship

[unique skiff]

bruh she said her friends appointment at 4 and idk what she said, sum about getting to her friends at 8 and someone else being there and waiting for them to leave and her mom picking her up at 9:30 bruh idk idc

[unique skiff]

yeah of course

but she tells me she just wants to be friends

so maybe we shouldn’t need to communicate inna first place

[agile sandal]

Relationship or not

[unique skiff]

but then she says stuff like “boo, love, my love, I wanna cuddle” etc

[agile sandal]

Unresolved feelings never go away

[unique skiff]

true

but when it’s with friends

u shouldn’t be overthinking or hurt about something stupid

yk?

[agile sandal]

Hm

No

[unique skiff]

let me think of an example

[agile sandal]

Everything has ups and downs

Friends can hurt eachother

[unique skiff]

like if my man’s doing something I’m not gonna care to ask cuz I’m cool with it

but if it’s my girl then ima ask yk?

[unique skiff]

true

but friends don’t say terrible things to each other

In the first place

[agile sandal]

Things get heated

Its not terrible

Im not a good person either

Ive said bad things

[unique skiff]

ye but idk me and my friends we say mean stuff then laugh without apologizing cuz we know it’s a joke

or I just get over if it’s fr

[agile sandal]

Yeah but we can never be too sure about how anyone ever feels

[unique skiff]

it’s human nature to say bad things sometimes so it’s okay

[agile sandal]

Its better to feel cautious about what we say

[unique skiff]

true true

I think

my girl

she just

idk

she was never like this until I was

she would never curse or yell at me or say terrible things like now

but I did

and now it’s reverse

I’m cautious and keep it together and she goes rampant even tho she sometimes tries to keep it together

[agile sandal]

Sometimes we all really bring out the worse in each other

[unique skiff]

: (

true

I feel like I bring the best and worst outta her

we just switched roles

she adopted my old anger and who I was basically

[agile sandal]

I mean

[unique skiff]

idk she MIGHT block me in the morning that’s what she said

cuz she hasn’t forgiven me

[agile sandal]

Even if you dont see it now

[unique skiff]

I’m worried but what can I do except my own part

[agile sandal]

I really hope that you find a way to move on

[unique skiff]

yeah

or a way for us to both work out

(delusional me)

[agile sandal]

And you know sometimes you have to be really really hurt to finally realize

[unique skiff]

already been there

[agile sandal]

Like a breaking point

[unique skiff]

yo that’s the game we played that she got mad at me for 😱😱😱

mb

but yeah ur right

I feel like I’ve reached a thousand breaking Points but I’m here still

I’ll prolly if she cheats or does sum slimy with her friends like talk a lot of trash or show herself off

or seek validation, attention

etc, the basic bad things

but if that never happens ima just work on myself, get therapy, fix things between me and her and hopefully things go how I want em if not then I gotta move on despite the pain

[agile sandal]

That sounds like a good plan

Make sure that it is free therapy

[unique skiff]

how to get

I thought free therapy isn’t good idk

they NOT getting paid

[agile sandal]

Yeah but you wouldnt want to pay 200 dollars per session

[unique skiff]

how long

[unique skiff]

@agile sandal bruh

she blocked me again when i was tryna talk to her

she was being mad dry saying idk what to say , play what games, no im not gonna add u back

"unblock u again for what? for u to call me that? no im much better and happier"

like bro

its okay for her to treat me like shit and call me names then when i call her out she gon get mad

like bro

why cant i just fix things

Bruh

She unblocked me again

And

stuff happened yeah

[unique skiff]

now she saying she doesnt wanna let me fix things

or let me redeem myself

and shes gonna live her life filled with hate and be happy

now she gon say

her friends got annoyed of me

and she is annoyed of me

and

she doesnt know how she handled me or how my friends handled me

like holy shit?

and she gonna call me dumb and not that smart cuz i texted her friend like i was tryna hide it

bruh

her friend weird as shit too

i told her friend to not tell her and she tells her

all i did was ask her friends to talk to her when she was upset and blocking me out

a group of shitty ppl 😭

oh shit maybe im doing that to u, spam texting and being annoying

but nah u right

i dont know why im trying so hard for such a shitty and childish person

i just gotta move on for my own sake

and block her tf out if she does cuz shes a terrible person

and she said she liked me but lost interest the day before oh gg its my fault

[unique skiff]

OH GOOD GAME

ITS MY FAULT BRO

ALWAYS LIKE THIS

SHE LIKES ME AND HAS INTEREST THEN I FUCK IT UP

but ima just forget her

not even think about her

and just stop.

@agile sandal steph i think

im fr gonna move on and stop

unless shes wants us to be friends and acts like how she used to ofc i wont but ill still try my best for her

still hurts me the way her friend blocked me and how she lost interest 😭

no way im that annoying bruh : /

[agile sandal]

Move on

[unique skiff]

nvm bruh

she talking to me

wtf

going on

[unique skiff]

i would but

i called her a bitch so ik im wrong this time

[agile sandal]

I don't know what else to say

[unique skiff]

breh

she said she do want me to come see her

and shes talking to like we normally do

[unique skiff]

but she saying she will never forgive me

idk what else to do

[agile sandal]

No closure

You do know what to do

You're just scared to act on it

[unique skiff]

wdym closure?

[agile sandal]

I meant no resolve

The reason we talk, we communicate our problems to resolve and move on

[unique skiff]

bruh

she said she doenst care

about the effort i put in for her to forgive me

yeah

maybe i shoud mov eon

im just too optimistic

[agile sandal]

Well let her heal

But at the same time she knows how you will run back to her just like you know that she will text you back

It just feels stupid

A constant cycle

Nothing moves when one person is still stuck in the past

[unique skiff]

yeah i know

but

no way she hates me forever

just incapable

even my friend back then who fucked me over so hard

over some girl

i forgot him even tho we didnt talk for so long

i just was disappointed

and now we just became friends 2 days ago

me calling her a bitch and not being able to forgive me is NOT worst than my friend asking the girl i liked for nudes and getting them

and i called her a bitch previously and she forgave me still and ik its wrong

but she doesnt wanna unblock me on tiktok or follow me back or add me back on roblo or wtv

ik she will forgive me she just saying she wont

and i just dont know

i want her to at least care and work things out but she doesnt even care about the effort i put in so ima just stop caring too, if she cared bout my effort or wanted to forgive me even if she couldnt then i would be cool with that

[unique skiff]

yeah and how she gon live her life if she can never forgive me

i just want her to at least want to be able to forgive me and we can move on, happily this time

[agile sandal]

its hard to trust when bad things have constantly persist

i think she just needs time for herself

and you need time for yourself

she just reached her limit

let her find her own path

[unique skiff]

yeah of course

if she wants to talk or call or whatever then ye ill be here but ion think she would come back if i just left but thats just fate, if things meant to be then they will be meant to be

[agile sandal]

But what do you want

you always say if she wants this if she wants that

it just feels contradicting to what you intend to do

getting over her, moving on

[agile sandal]

thats not what i meant lol

we don't know if she will or will not

[unique skiff]

yeah

[unique skiff]

oh i took it the wrong way

i just took it as someone who can never forgive someone or let go will always be stuck in the past

rather u moved on from them or not

[unique skiff]

yeah ur right

I have to move on

no good morning texts and things will never be the same again after what I did

why dude I feel like it’s all my fault bruh

why is she even here if she doesn’t care? if I’m on dnd what’s the point anymore

Nothings the same anymore ima move on but

I can’t

I’m so hurt and stuck

Idk what to do

[agile sandal]

Find things that make you feel productive

Do things that you know you have control over

Journaling, reading, taking walks, cleaning your room, cleaning the house, get a job

Focus on your future, why don't you look through internships this summer? Programs

[unique skiff]

Prolly gon spend it with my friends and family

Learn how to drive

And SAT tutoring MAYBE

[agile sandal]

Collegeboard is so scammy

I heard ACT is easier

[unique skiff]

i do it for free

cuz i got feever codes

[agile sandal]

Yeah me too, I attend a public hs

I'm just saying that their scammy by the amount of time and questions they give

[unique skiff]

yeah

it’s so little time and too many questions

[unique skiff]

Btw journaling is just writing ur feelings out right?

And why u feel that way?

[agile sandal]

Yes

Its basically just writing down your thoughts

it doesn't have to be in long sentences

You can bullet point them

[unique skiff]

she forgive me cuz i bought her a stray kidz album

LOL

and said she willing to not hold grudges and start a new