#I don't feel alive anymore.

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

arctic jasper
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Idk what to say really, life just sucks. I feel like everyone around me hates me and pushes me away. Anything I do I just get loads of shit for. I want to listen to some music "oh their shit" or "That sucks", I want to study "Fucking nerd", I want to play games "no one likes that game", "you should do some work". It all sounds harmless until I start getting ripped off about stuff like, trying to help people "Fuck off", "you don't know shit", "||Kill yourself||" , Me not having a relationship "Imagine not having a girlfriend", "L", When I try to get a girlfriend "You suck at this", "give up". Anything I do I gets criticized or torn apart by everyone else. Besides that I just get used and left behind. You know those people that just get left behind in the friend group whether they're hanging out, the one guy who none of them really like. That one guy is me. I don't want to hang out with them anymore for the reason they push me away, but without them I'm no one special. Just some loser 17 year old high schooler who has friendship issues and hates himself and ||cuts himself|| because of it. Fuck I just ||want to die||. You know, they might all be right. Maybe I am just some annoying lonely bastard who should ||kill himself|| because of course I'm the source to everyone's problems. I already hate myself enough as it is but no, to take it that one step further I want to help this one friend who has his own issues going on and entirely disregard my issues as exaggeration or "I'm fine". He doesn't even want me to help yet MY FUCKING IDIOTIC BRAIN DECIDES THAT I NEED TO HELP THIS ASSHOLE BEFORE I EVEN REMOTELY CONSIDER HELPING MYSELF EVEN THOUGH I'VE FUCKING ||TRIED TO BLEED MYSELF TO DEATH TWICE|| You know it's funny cause this exact same guy who himself is depressed is the main person who tells me to ||kill myself|| yet I still feel sympathy for some reason, oh how I just love how my brain works.

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stoic sparrow
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so just distance yourself from them

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their value is non existent, you will be better of without them

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and your value isnt defined by few shitty people

broken spindle
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Life is hard and some people suck. But there is still good people if you try to look for them. I am no professional at this but I hope this helps. When I was considering suicide I had a idea of just restart myself by restarting my life without doing harm. I found new hobbies and I avoided the people that made me feel down. I went on a huge trip for a few months and that really changed me. I went on a cruise and I made new friends! A dog, cat, fish, anything you want. It helps a lot with depression and it’s better for your health. You can try finding new hobbies or new people. Life holds really hard times but you can push through them. You need to be there for the little parts.

arctic jasper
broken spindle
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We can start off simple and we can be friends :). That’s completely if you want though!

arctic jasper
# stoic sparrow First of all, sounds like you surronded yourself with bad people

I will admit their not the best group of people most of them have gone down the route of drugs, alcohol etc. and it has changed them quite a bit. There's only really two of them I somewhat still like and they both have girlfriends and separate groups and even have said themselves that they just don't have time to spend with others anymore

arctic jasper
stoic sparrow
broken spindle
arctic jasper
broken spindle
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Sounds like me lol

broken spindle
arctic jasper
broken spindle
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Have a nice time!

mystic loom
arctic jasper
mystic loom
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Npnp