#I feel so lost in life

23 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

pallid rain
#

Every time somebody in my life leaves me I forget who I am. My brain gets empty... Well I get empty I feel as if the air is heavy and crashing down onto me. I feel like nothing can make me feel anything. I end up doing things that are dangerous to feel something. Once the empty finally is filled I now have to find out who I am, this usually means hair dye and changing my whole self, personality and all till I find somebody else to be. I'm like a clone of my friends. Well not friends just one person it's like I'm trapped in a two way mirror and they can see that I am becoming them but I can't see it because I need that sense of self. I just lost the person who I was mirroring (they left) and I have no idea who I am I just feel empty, numb and I'm scared that I'ma do something bad to myself. Idk what to do anymore

wintry canyon
forest inlet
# pallid rain Every time somebody in my life leaves me I forget who I am. My brain gets empty....

constantly changing yourself is a recipe for disaster. I don't agree with becoming fully independent, as my study suggests that this is directly against human nature. However, I would recommend finding a way of being okay with the process of finding the right people. This includes being left alone, pushed away, and the mistakes of trying really hard to be liked. It's a process, and that's what you're gonna have to be pushing through. At your age respectfully nobody really knows how they are, even if it looks like it. Trust me, when you grow older around 20-25 you'll look back at your friends when they were 14,, and you'll see what I mean. Your age is the period you get used to both building friendships, and dealing with broken ones. And if I have to be fully honest, the secret of growing up is mostly the way you look at things. It also depends on what you wanna accomplish. If you wanna be loved and accepted by people around you, stop trying to be like others. It sounds rude, but, it is the truth. People start liking you when you're you, someone who is their own person. And you might wonder who you are, which is a fair question for people your age. However, you are who you are when you're fully relaxed in a good environment. It's all about comfort. Cuz really, what I pull from this is that you might just be insecure and thus try to mimic others, as you see their success. People become beautiful when they're just them. Pretending might give you short term success. But believe me when I say it's short term. And remember, you don't know what's going on in the heads of others. You live your own life with your own battles, and the best way to figure out who you are is by literally not trying to figure it out. Just talk to people, just go do things. You will automatically have natural responses and actions. If those naturally and without any conscious choice look like the actions of your friends, then maybe you are just like them. It's normal that people develop similar habits as the people they hang around. That doesn't make you them, though. You are who you are when you don't try

pallid rain
#

Thank you guys for suggesting but social life is kinda gone I don't leave my house unless I'm picking up new medication or going to therapy I've got social anxiety so making friends is super hard to do

forest inlet
#

with all due respect, you're 13-14. There's is no such thing as a social life yet at your age

#

I'm 20 and still learning about what friendships really are

#

I get the feeling you pull a bit too hard on it

#

you're not an adult yet, please enjoy the times where life is a breeze even though you're going through stuff

#

I'm not trying to be condescending, but really, if I look back at when I was 13 I really see that I was just starting off

#

and when I'm 30 and I look back at when I was 20, I'll be like "I was such a youngster haha I knew literally nothing"

#

so you might ask, when are you old enough for these things

#

well, friendships is something you will learn about your whole life. Your personality will be manifested around your mid to late 20s

#

I wasn't just suggesting things. The things I said are the most basic ways out

#

and if you wonder where it comes from, a master clinical neuropsychology with branches of adolescent psychology(ages 10-20)

#

however the choice is fully up to you. And if you're convinced you're a lost cause at 13, then there's nothing I can do for you at this time

#

but let me promise you something. Current social media feeds anxiety. In fact, it's the reason for the explosion of disorders like this

#

on top of that self diagnosing is a huge issue. For example being shy has a symptom of not being good with talking in public. Social anxiety shares that symptom. So many young people will be like "omg I can't talk in public I must have social anxiety", you get the point

#

now if you were officially diagnosed and labeled, then sure

#

also, being anxious doesn't mean someone has anxiety either

#

and hiding away, replacing your normal social development with online social development is only gonna make it worse

forest inlet
pallid rain
forest inlet
#

yeah I didn't expect it, but a lot of people do so