#Extreme depression and never had a friend

65 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

celest delta
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It's better to be dead than have a miserable life

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I ask for advice and all I get are PLATITUDES

daring valve
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Do you think that it would be possible, that you have habits that sabotage your friendships without you being aware of it? Are you very reclusive/detached from people? When you do externalize yourself, do you do it in a good manner, not sad/angry/etc? Do you have a good hygene? Do you reach out for people continually? Is it possible that you may be on the autistic spectrum, or schizoid personality disorder, which could sabotage your relationships?

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Something definitely has to be wrong, all people cant ignore you out of nowhere.

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Are you a bad communicator?

celest delta
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I was diagnosed with autism when I was 5. People seem to have no interest in me, it feels like they don't give me a chance. I get along with people in the context of the reason I know them - for example, I can talk to my bandmates about music, but they ignore me in any other situation. I try to invite people out, they might agree to spend time with me, but then they won't agree on what we will do so nothing ends up happening. I'm terrible at conversation, I have no idea what to say unless we're talking specifically about my thoughts or my interests. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm 25 years old and never had the opportunity to have a conversation with anyone but a therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist. And my imaginary friends, while they have different personalities and experiences, all technically have my brain and my ideas, so all my conversations with them are about me because I created them.

daring valve
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Yeah i mean if you are autistic + bad at communication, no wonder its impossible for you to make friends

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although

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did you try to make friends with people on the spectrum?

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or other neurodivergent people?

celest delta
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Every autistic person I've ever met annoys the absolute fuck out of me

daring valve
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welp, too bad then

celest delta
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"too bad", pretty much. That's why I'll end up killing myself eventually. It's always "too bad".

daring valve
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you could consider educating yourself to the point where you could always talk about the same interest with others

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it worked for me

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i dont enjoy small talk too

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depends on if your interests create discussion or nah

celest delta
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I do talk about interests, it doesn't really go far.

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I know it's my fault that I'm like this, I've set myself up for failure since I was a toddler. I just don't know how to help myself.

daring valve
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idk for me it works wonders, but its easy to have long talks about psychology/philosopy, for you i think it may be harder if r only interested in music

celest delta
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I never said I was only interested in music, I just used that as an example.

daring valve
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idk i would assume that doesnt matter, since you mentioned you have trouble with holding a convo

celest delta
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I work full time and engage in various social activities 4-5 days a week. I "put myself out there" like I'm supposed to, and I get nothing.

celest delta
daring valve
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and i assume speech therapy didnt help out?

celest delta
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My "friend therapy" was done by an occupational therapist and psychologist

daring valve
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communication is 90% of a relationship

celest delta
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I know

daring valve
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idk how to help you out mate, did you try to find similar people? who had a shitty upbringing/life and struggle with communication? and search how they overcame it?

celest delta
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The majority of people haven't affirmed my autism diagnosis though, and it hasn't been affirmed since I was 18-19, so I don't even believe it nor do I think about it unless someone brings it up.

celest delta
daring valve
celest delta
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I did it twice

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6 months two times over 2.5 years

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I have been in therapy constantly since the age of 4

daring valve
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did it have any effect?

celest delta
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Psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, social workers...

celest delta
# daring valve did it have any effect?

I "failed" the first time because it was all literally common sense so I didn't show any improvement. The second time I pretended that I learned the concepts in the therapy.

daring valve
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So you litterealy, cant improve by your effort and learn bcs of your condition?

celest delta
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No, I didn't learn anything because I already knew it. I know how to manage stress, I know not to manipulate people to get what I want, I know my emotions aren't logical, I know how to distract myself from my thoughts.

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I had the same issue with CBT

daring valve
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Did you put effort into improving your communication?

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instead of bs manipulation

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"I know how to distract myself from my thoughts."?

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what?

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bro

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u serious?

celest delta
celest delta
daring valve
celest delta
daring valve
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nah thats bad habit

celest delta
daring valve
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not skill

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bro

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manipulate ppl

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isnt

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a component of psychoterapy

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wtf u on?

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nah u prob sabotage yourself by your own undoing

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have a good day

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this will prob get nowhere

celest delta
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What are you on? DBT teaches a skill called INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS. Part of that is teaching mentally ill people that manipulation isn't productive. I didn't write the curriculum. I'm just giving examples of why it didn't work.