Thank you to everyone who talked to me and made me feel happy for the past few days. Its been the best few days of my life. After i went to the hospital for trying to overdose this morning i realise that im too weak to let myself die. So this time im going to do it properly. I haven't made this post for advice or to make everyone feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad, its the best for me. I have no reason to live. You guys are the only reason i lived until today if it wasnt for you guys i would have been dead this morning. But some how i seem to make the people i like most ( this community ) hate me. Im rude and disrespectful when i dont try to be. Im sorry to the people i have hurt by my words. And once again i thank you for letting me live one more day but this is my last.
#Thank you.
mystic seal
mystic seal
im sorry
vast cedar
It doesn’t have to end like this
mystic seal
it does
vast cedar
You don’t wanna do it trust me
mystic seal
i do
vast cedar
Think about your family
vast cedar
You don’t have to suffer
If you just find this problem and resolve it, it will be all good
mystic seal
no it wont
its horrible to think
but i have no space on my body to cut
i cut myself so much
theres no more room
something is wrong with me
vast cedar
Well if you’d ant fix it I can’t help
mystic seal
thank you
vast cedar
And thank you for letting me have someone to talk to for the past day
mystic seal
dw about it man
Brad..
You aren't always rude or disrespectful. You just sometimes overreact, and sometimes people take things the wrong way.
It's not always your fault.
Don't give up on life because of that..
Please reach out for help.
There's plenty left to live for.
Just listen to what you are doing.. its not worth it at all.
vast cedar
Good
mystic seal
Look. I'm here for you. Lets just talk about this okay?
vast cedar
Look. I'm here for you. Lets just talk about this okay?
He won’t
vast cedar
I tried
mystic seal
im terrible at listening to adive
advice
this is one of the main reasons why im doing it
i am stubborn
You need to open up your mind a bit to advice.
ahahaha
vast cedar
I can’t loose 2 today
mystic seal
u made me laugh a lil bit thanks bulletz
a really really dark humour joke
i defenitely shouldn't have laughed at that
idk whats happened to me xD
It wasn't meant to be dark, it was meant to be figurative.
no i know
Being open to advice can really help you here.
but saying open ur mind up when im close to suicide
sounds funny
mystic seal
i wish i wasnt saved
everyone was calling me a liar
saying that the hospital couldnt release me bc they had to send me to a physch
war
but someone from the uk came and told them they didnt do that often here
vast cedar
Now I wanna fucking hang my self
mystic seal
and nobody said sorry they all just kept going
You are 14.. you are still young, and you are still developing.
being called a liar is horrible
vast cedar
But I won’t
mystic seal
You still have a life left to live.
mystic seal
You still have a life left to live.
yea a few minutes
vast cedar
Brad don’t
mystic seal
No. Your whole life.
vast cedar
I don’t wanna see you die
mystic seal
u dont have to see it
vast cedar
I’ve never seen someone die
mystic seal
ive seen so many
i stayed at a friends
for the first time
and they showed me gore
so much of it
ive never been round anyones house and nobody has been round my house since
that was like 2 weeks ago
You need to reach out for help.
yea probably
Listen to a voice of reason here.
but its too late now
vast cedar
Call 988 rq
mystic seal
It's not too late.
vast cedar
Did you..
mystic seal
whats 988
vast cedar
It's not too late.
He might’ve already
mystic seal
i think if i slit my wrists i wouldnt be typing
i got the knife here ready though
Humans have a survival instinct. No matter how hard you try, you won't be able to do it.
You will freeze up.
mystic seal
Humans have a survival instinct. No matter how hard you try, you won't be able t...
i promise you i can
and nobody believes me
oh
u dont believe me
vast cedar
And we can’t get proof so it’ll stay that quarter
mystic seal
nono
vast cedar
u dont believe me
A quarter of me doesn’t
delicate turtle
call the hotline hon
mystic seal
if u want proof ill send it to you
delicate turtle
like we spoke about
vast cedar
The left side doesn’t
vast cedar
if u want proof ill send it to you
If you wanna send it you send it
mystic seal
Nobody wants to see that.
he does
vast cedar
I don’t wanna see a friend die
mystic seal
Please call 988
no im not ur friend
im going through so much shit
and u say u didnt believe me
so ill do it
and show u
so
video call me
vast cedar
no im not ur friend
An Allie
mystic seal
and ill do it
vast cedar
I don’t wanna be the only 1 on the call
delicate turtle
uhh thats insanely triggering and will prob get you banned
lets not
and lets call someone
vast cedar
uhh thats insanely triggering and will prob get you banned
It’s scary to
delicate turtle
mhm
mystic seal
and lets call someone
im trying to call him
mystic seal
It’s scary to
how tf are u scared
vast cedar
how tf are u scared
I don’t like gore
mystic seal
I don’t like gore
u are encouraging me to do it
vast cedar
u are encouraging me to do it
IM NOT
mystic seal
bc u said u didnt believe me
vast cedar
I didn’t wanna be there alone
mystic seal
i told you one of the reasons why i felt this way was because people called me a liar
and u call me a liar???
what do u expect
vast cedar
and u call me a liar???
Not completely
mystic seal
doesnt matter how much of you thinks im a liar
vast cedar
It’s just the fact it online
vast cedar
The best person to help you is @mystic seal
delicate turtle
dude just call a hotline
mystic seal
idk wtf im doing
delicate turtle
then call for help dude
delicate turtle
you think your mom wants to find this?
mystic seal
idk why i have to prove anything
delicate turtle
you dont, go to the er again
vast cedar
idk why i have to prove anything
You don’t
mystic seal
u called me a liar
ive never told anyone in this server this bc i hate thinking about this
but my stepdad abused me
my whole life
and i always got called a liar
by my mom
so yes
i get angry
and upset
when im called a liar
delicate turtle
death is not the answer to this
mystic seal
what is the answer?
giving myself a false hope
and when i get slightly upset
explode and do it then?
delicate turtle
therapy, actual trauma therapy
vast cedar
You can’t just kill yourself
vast cedar
All of the regret you’d have
mystic seal
You need to see a therapist, someone that can help you.
and get put in a physch ward or whatever its called
apparently im lucky i didnt go to one last night
vast cedar
You said you had a knife if you do anything painful you could regret it a lot
mystic seal
so im not gonna get help this time
delicate turtle
you keep talking here so clearly something about us is stopping you
vast cedar
True
mystic seal
i cant leave a sentance unfinished
You won't get put in a psych ward or mental hospital unless you actually hurt yourself.
delicate turtle
you keep talking to us for some other reason
mystic seal
ok ill stop then
vast cedar
<@&854409594063683595> <@&839209649005527111>
delicate turtle
I'll see you tomorrow morning.
mystic seal
new year video call me
vast cedar
new year video call me
No man I can’t
mystic seal
dude
If you just stop what it is you are doing and seek therapy, you can get better.
delicate turtle
that's insanely triggering. don't put that on someone
iron palm
brad
mystic seal
that's insanely triggering. don't put that on someone
HE LITERALLY
TOLD ME
THAT I WASNT GOING TO DO IT
vast cedar
I’m not watching someone commit suicide
vast cedar
Listen to the helper
delicate turtle
why do you care what they think, you don't need to jump off a cliff because someone says you can't that's just stupid.
go get a tual help pls
mystic seal
because they upset me
vast cedar
Brad eventually we are all gonna die why not wait till then
mystic seal
bc im suffering now
twin rapids
Tbh I am in the same situation but always tell myself “I know I am destined to be something soon, what if I actually die? What now, people will just forget about me in like a month or so and I’m not gonna achieve any of my dreams because of abuse that has been carried on?”
mystic seal
yes
vast cedar
bc im suffering now
That’s why I got a helper
mystic seal
That’s why I got a helper
but
iron palm
Braderz go to sleep and || DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE||
mystic seal
i might have listened
and stopped
but u told me
that i wouldn't
so now i have to prove u wrong
i cant help it
@vast cedar I'm kindly asking that you leave. This is going to be too much for you.
no
bulletz
he asked for it
iron palm
Braderz.
vast cedar
<@993640458033053786> I'm kindly asking that you leave. This is going to be too ...
BRo I’m crying
mystic seal
why does everybody do this to me
delicate turtle
you keep talking to us so I think you just like us too much
iron palm
New year new nothing has stated that he does not want to see it.
delicate turtle
mhm
mystic seal
BRo I’m crying
please leave. for your sake.
mystic seal
you keep talking to us so I think you just like us too much
i love you guys with everything
delicate turtle
you're not calm and not in the right mindset.
vast cedar
please leave. for your sake.
Im not gonna speak anymore for a bit
delicate turtle
get some rest man
delicate turtle
well we will be here tomorrow
I have the whole day off
i gotta make some tiktoks with tarot cards tomorrow
twin rapids
Just being honest with everyone here, no one’s gonna give a hell about you after a month or so unless you’re very dear to them. So please get the idea of dying out of your brain and work for yourself. AND DONT DO IT FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, CHILD YOU, AND FUTURE YOU.
delicate turtle
I still know you man
twin rapids
Trust me, learned it the hard way and just being honest rather than giving you false comfort that’s probably not gonna help
mystic seal
because im not gone yet
delicate turtle
I keep an eye out for your messages in the morning
I search your name before work
no joke
mystic seal
why
mystic seal
Because we care.
twin rapids
maybe a day
Yeah, and that’s why remind yourself that once you actually leave and do something better than crying about them, they’ll try to come back to YOU.
delicate turtle
how I know you have over two thousand messages so far in this server
BC I checked it earlier
mystic seal
i dont know what i want anymorer
i just dont like being called a liar it really upsets me
you could say anything
delicate turtle
you want a life, you want something without this pain, and you can get that. and if course, it's fine to be upset.
mystic seal
call me fat call me ugly tell me to kill myself
those things mean nothing
but being called a liar
i hate it so much]
It's okay to be confused, it's okay to not know what you want.
delicate turtle
we all have that one thing
twin rapids
i dont know what i want anymorer
Go to sleep… you’ll feel better
twin rapids
but being called a liar
Are you a liar or are you not?
delicate turtle
get off the screen. focus on your breathing.
mystic seal
Are you a liar or are you not?
i try not to be
twin rapids
i used all my pills
Then go do a hobby you like, you’ll get tired eventually
delicate turtle
I said that to a doctor once
mystic seal
so i am a liar
delicate turtle
I'm not a liar only was someone in pain
iron palm
but being called a liar
Other people’s thoughts shouldn’t matter as long as you know with yourself you’re not lying.
mystic seal
everyone was right
delicate turtle
so we're either both liars or were both people who struggle
and I think we both struggle
mystic seal
everyone was right
You aren't a liar. You are just confused and struggling.
twin rapids
i try not to be
Well, being honest is always good. In case that some circumstances are forcing you… it’s sad ik that…
Had to learn how to lie and now no one suspects anything…
mystic seal
You aren't a liar. You are just confused and struggling.
i dont want to struggle anymore
i just wanna be happy
vast cedar
Brad I used to want to kill myself but I just kept thinking and thinking and eventually I never wanted to
delicate turtle
it's hard but it can happen
I'm proof
I'm good now or at least a lot better
I actually wake up looking forward to the day
twin rapids
Had to learn how to lie and now no one suspects anything…
And that’s from the factors that I’m facing, similar to yours
Advice from me, keep a diary with you
mystic seal
i just wanna be happy
I understand that you want to be happy. Everybody does.. and I know it seems tiring sometimes.
devout charm
I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so low and that you've tried to ||take your own life.|| It's important to know that there are people who care about you and want to support you through this difficult time. It's great that you've reached out to this community and found some comfort here.
I understand that you feel like you're rude and disrespectful at times, but please know that everyone makes mistakes and it doesn't define who you are as a person. You have value and worth, and there are people who appreciate and care about you.
I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional for support and guidance. They can help you work through your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Here are some resources that may be helpful:
National ||Suicide|| Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
(These are American numbers. I'm sorry If I got your country wrong.)
Please know that you're not alone and that there is hope for healing and recovery. It's important to take care of yourself and seek the help that you need. You deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life.
twin rapids
Sleep well and tbh… dance when you’re feeling down. Just lock your room and literally dance anything… it helps
mystic seal
I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling so low and that you've tried to ||tak...
im in the uk
Going to sleep will help you.
i have no pills
i cant sleep without them
mystic seal
i dont know how to focus on my breathing
twin rapids
Tbh some people who suffer from insomnia won’t sleep with breathing
mystic seal
i cant think about one thing
vast cedar
Tbh some people who suffer from insomnia won’t sleep with breathing
I have insomnia and that’s a fact
twin rapids
Personally I had to do something to get me tired. I dance or read like 100 pages of a book. Do something excessive and healthy to help you
delicate turtle
so imagine something
mystic seal
like i said
delicate turtle
multiple things
devout charm
im in the uk
I apologize.
NHS 111 (available 24/7)
Samaritans: Call 116 123 (available 24/7) or email [email protected]
Mind Infoline: Call 0300 123 3393 (available Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm) or text 86463
The Mix: Call 0808 808 4994 (available 24/7) or chat online at www.themix.org.uk
mystic seal
thats why i cant focus on breathing
mystic seal
i dont know how to focus on my breathing
Just close your eyes and take deep breaths.
twin rapids
i cant focus on books
Haha same ngl, I only read HP back then. So just…. DANCE 🙌🏻
mystic seal
i hate the sound of breathing
twin rapids
Trust me like just thinking abt it makes me happy
mystic seal
it has a name
In through your nose, and out your mouth.
i hate sounds like breathing and chewing
delicate turtle
ok so focus on your daydream as I said
iron palm
The game just dance?
delicate turtle
can you imagine a picture in your head?
mystic seal
not for long
delicate turtle
you don't daydream?
mystic seal
nope
delicate turtle
or zone out to a story
mystic seal
i dont think so
iron palm
If so I have just dance 2014-2021 or 2022 that game is amazing
twin rapids
Just close your eyes and take deep breaths.
It doesn’t do anything, especially if you just get bored quickly. Also, she/he said she/he takes pills, so it’s impossible she/he’ll sleep by breathing slowly for the first day. Breathing is a habit, but with pills it’s impossible
mystic seal
he
delicate turtle
well either way. you need to get off discord if you want to sleep
mystic seal
but im scared to stop speaking to you guys
im not sure if ill do something i might regret without you guys talking to me
twin rapids
well either way. you need to get off discord if you want to sleep
I agrée, go do something else and just stop thinking about death please, ain’t gonna help
vast cedar
im not sure if ill do something i might regret without you guys talking to me
We’ll try and go to sleep if you can’t talk to us some more try again and keep going and in the morning talk to 1 of us or someone
mystic seal
i have really bad headache
but my mom has hidden the tablets so i cant do anything about it
iron palm
Try to rest.
twin rapids
i have really bad headache
Can you take a warm shower at the moment? If yes then go, don’t be lazy if you’re feeling so 😭
mystic seal
i do this everyday
its not fair on you guys
im not sure whats wrong with me that makes me overreact so much
but you guys shouldn't have to deal with this every day
Don't be sorry. You are just wanting help.
delicate turtle
you're struggling. that's nothing to be sorry for
twin rapids
im not sure whats wrong with me that makes me overreact so much
We all happen to do that sometimes anyway 🤷🏻♀️
mystic seal
ok im sorry
delicate turtle
yup
mystic seal
good night guys
vast cedar
ok im sorry
Don’t be sorry
twin rapids
Night 🙌🏻
vast cedar
And try what I said
vast cedar
Might work
mystic seal
i over reacted
vast cedar
for being horrible to you
You never where
mystic seal
good night guys
Please try to sleep at least. Everything will be okay..
i tried to make you watch me do that
im not a bad person am i?
i dont mean to get so angry
vast cedar
im not a bad person am i?
No your not
mystic seal
Again there is nothing to be sorry for when you are struggling and just want help.
You aren't a bad person.
At all
vast cedar
In the morning when you wake up tell you mom to get someone if you can
vast cedar
Night
mystic seal
thank you
vast cedar
No need to thank us
mystic seal
I’m here guys
I got a bit of slepe
About 2 hours
And my mom is saying I have to go to school
mystic seal
And my mom is saying I have to go to school
Hope you're good out there brodda
vast cedar
And my mom is saying I have to go to school
Stay safe
mystic seal
I didn’t go to school again
But she said that I need to go tommorow bc my therapist is going to see me tomorrow
delicate turtle
tell her what happened
mystic seal
I didn’t go to school again
That’s completely okay. Take a break. You need it.
delicate turtle
your therapist
mystic seal
Oh
Yeah I don’t mind talking to her
But I just can’t sleep recently and I’m not sure if I’m gonna be able to get to sleep tonight
delicate turtle
gotcha. well tell her everything. the attempts the lack of sleep
mystic seal
Yeah alright
