God I hate being single so much. I feel like there’s nobody in the world for me. I’m turning 21 in less than a month and this is the 3rd birthday that I’ll be alone. I can’t see myself without a boyfriend and I need the attention from a guy. I know that’s pick me behavior, but I really can’t help it. I’ve tried so many times for relationships to work, but it all led to failure. What’s wrong with me? I was with my best friend for a while and we went out a couple times. We never got together officially and we never had sex, but we did things in between. You would think we were a couple, but he never wanted anything to be official. Now it’s quiet between us, and I hate it so much. I love him a lot, but he doesn’t share my feelings back. What am I supposed to do?
#why can’t I find my special someone?
vestal pasture
idle forum
I understand what you feel because I’ve been in love many times and it’s been rejected and I have a big family so it is hard to find love so the first thing that I turn to is finding a boyfriend or a girlfriend so I understand what it’s like to want a type of attention. But I feel like this guy that you’re talking about your friend. I don’t think he’s the right one for you because if he really wanted that type of relationship he would’ve said and he already rejected you so if you want to feel that genuine love in affection, I don’t think this is the guy. I know it’s gonna be hard to move on from this dude because love is a really important thing for you and me and almost a lot of people but I feel like you deserve someone better who can actually give you this type of love.
Is there any patterns of the guys that left you is like? Is there any patterns on why they left you?
You don’t have to reply if you don’t want to I know it is a touchy subject.
Also, if you want to talk more about it, my DM’s are always open
vestal pasture
Well I have incredibly high standards hat this guy pretty much checked all the boxes of. When I asked if anything would happen between us, his response was “idk. I go where the wind takes me”
mossy storm
Sometimes it's not anything you're doing wrong, sometimes when we aren't focusing on a relationship one shows up. there's a million different reasons why. but also accepting love because you crave it might lead to getting with people who aren't the best for you
vestal pasture
I just don’t see how it’s fair that 90% of my friends and all of my family have partners, but I don’t
mossy storm
There's not a magic thing I can tell you to make you feel better. Sometimes life just happens. I was single for many years before I found mine at work. My sister has constantly had boyfriends but they're all toxic. life just throws different stuff at you. focus on yourself, do things you enjoy and maybe you'll meet someone who likes those things too. but don't stress about it
idle forum
Yeah, I agree with starless because it’s not gonna happen overnight and you might be single for a long time but I feel like you should try and feel comfortable with just having friends or just being alone because one day you are going to find that special someone I trust me it’s going to be at the right time in your life. So don’t stress about it should enjoy life as life is you don’t need another human being to make you happy and I know it’s hard but don’t put yourself down just because of that.
But I understand how important it is to you
It’s not gonna make you happy
If you spend most of your life sad
vestal pasture
I have been for years and I’m sick of feeling alone. It doesn’t feel good at all
idle forum
Well, you have your family and friends right and they give you a lot of love so I feel like that would be the best kind of love that you’re looking for right now
You’re not alone you have all of us to support you and be there for you if you need us
vestal pasture
I guess
idle forum
Lol I understand
idle forum
Oof that was an edit
vestal pasture
Lol
idle forum
But yea I understand but if you really need a special someone then that is ur best chance
vestal pasture
I’ve tried them so many times, but they all led to hook up and leave situations, which is a huge no for me
idle forum
True
mossy storm
I was single for two decades... and I found mine at work dating apps were no good. but yeah live life. have hobbies go out and do things. it'll happen but don't make it your end goal because nothing lasts forever
vestal pasture
I can try that again I guess
mossy storm
also even if I have a partner o don't even do everything with him. I love doing stuff just on my own.
vestal pasture
Yeah
I do too, but I love it more when I’m with someone
I just feel at my best when I’m in a relationship
mossy storm
That might be something to unpack as well
vestal pasture
Wym?
mossy storm
My sister, she constantly feels the need to be with someone and as a result ends up in shitty situations.
mossy storm
I'm not sure but something to keep in mind
vestal pasture
Oh
atomic ravine
You could always consider going into therapy, bcs you may be experiencing some unhealthy attachment styles which could have ruin your previous relationships, or other unconscious mechanisms which you may not be aware of. Having unrealistic standards can be a part of it too, or being stuck in romantic projections.
vestal pasture
I would definitely go if I had the money
atomic ravine
What were the main problems why your relationships failed in the past?
atomic ravine
And wanting constant attention can be connected to a bad past/trauma/daddy isuess.
vestal pasture
What were the main problems why your relationships failed in the past?
It was mostly the guy either not being interested in me, or him not wanting a full relationship and just wanted a friends with benefits situation
mossy storm
ah yeah thats a lot of people sadly
vestal pasture
Yep
real meteor
God I hate being single so much. I feel like there’s nobody in the world for me....
🫂
I’ll be around if you would like to check in every day, I don’t mind if you decline its okay i just wish to help
vestal pasture
Yeah that’s cool