Gosh, i tried everythin... i tried listening to happy music, i tried to play videogames,i even tried to read books...but its all useless,i still felt like shit...im just a fucking boulder for everyone in my life,probably even for this server.
#I want to die of overdosement...
terse crater
Gosh, i tried everythin... i tried listening to happy music, i tried to play vid...
If you have trouble with experiencing any positive emotions, then it could be anhedonia or symptom of depresison, both of which could be solved my meds. So please visit a psychiatrist if nothing you do has any impact on how you feel.
Dont let people behind with the pain of you not being there anyome. Dont deprive the world of the person you could become. I understand that to you it might not seem like a pernament solution to a temporary problem, but you can always killyourself tomorrow. Explore every possible option you can explore in the meantime and try to put yourself together, antidepressants can work wonders so please atleast try them, what the hell do you have to lose. And dont be so sure that your life is yours to take, you dont own yourself the way you own an object, your life has value and potential.
indigo estuary
Dont let people behind with the pain of you not being there anyome. Dont deprive...
My life is not worth anthing at this point
idk
like
....
I dont think antidepressans could really work for a guy that tried to overdose and nearly died of that a few months ago
im gonna try it again
but idk
................
terse crater
its never too late to make your life worth living in the future
indigo estuary
its never too late to make your life worth living in the future
Ill probably die before i even graduated middle school so why bother ๐
i basicly dont have a future anymore ๐
who wants me?
WHO!?
I AM A FUCKED UP GUY
terse crater
if you didnt explore every possible option of living, then you owe it to yourself and to the people who care about you
indigo estuary
DRESSED LIKE A GOD DAMN BIG ASS RED PIMPLE
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :d
๐
๐
I coverd basicly everything
im the embodiment of a muslim woman but a man.
from head to toe is scars
i use socks basicly anywhere
the only place that des not have scars is just my fingers
atleast my old scars healed ๐
๐
indigo estuary
if you didnt explore every possible option of living, then you owe it to yoursel...
owe what?
terse crater
owe the possible option of living a better life
that could be worth living
that you did not explore
indigo estuary
that you did not explore
what do you meant by that?
terse crater
If you dont explore every option, dont reach out for professional help, all of that potential will die with you. It can get better if you get your act together, if you reach out for help and wont let others that care about you to suffer the pain of suicide.
indigo estuary
If you dont explore every option, dont reach out for professional help, all of t...
i tried to do that,i tried to reach out for help,i onced talk to my parents about this and they said that they will sent me to a scholar instead of a psychiatrist..i still respected my parents decision, i respected the scholar,but the therapy system took a huge ass toll on me,why?.
when i go to the place we chatted,in my heart i said "ill probably be normal again yay" but when he asked "do you ever or even think about to tried to do suicide?" i answer yes, the next thing i know i am in the ER because my left skull cracked.
apparently the guy smaked my head up with a damn red brick...
it made me fucking traumatized and from that day and forward i nearly to even never talk to my parents, "friends" and basicly nearly anyone i know irl.
(ps i eventually sent the schollar a message that said "if you want to smack my head atleast kill me with it")
that was 3 years ago,my skull is normal now.
terse crater
that wasnt a therapy system, that was a retardet "sholar" my guy
a professional would never hurt u
indigo estuary
yea,i doubt that.
terse crater
i understand that you have a bias because of that "scholar"
but like wtf, you should have pressed changes against him
indigo estuary
good thing there is near hard or just herbal antidepressants that i could consume exxecivvly
terse crater
that guy should be in prison
indigo estuary
that guy should be in prison
i cant,my parents sign a forum that basicly said "all act is protected under this paper and you cant do anything about it lol"
I dont really care now.
the scholar is probably moved or even got arrested,idk
ill go now.
indigo estuary
that guy should be in prison
ill go now,my head start to hurt after i took a lot of flu pills
bye! :::D
;D
indigo estuary
No hope for me but thanks,thanks for your commitment for this.
You have to man up mate
terse crater
You have to man up mate
Pretty unsophisticated advice that just invalidates his feelings;)
indigo estuary
When i wanted to kill myself my friend told me do it no balls and guess what it made me stop talking dumb stuff
Only loneliness can heal oneself
Its good to have support
indigo estuary
When i wanted to kill myself my friend told me do it no balls and guess what it ...
You know what.
imma do it
Why
I just take a lot of pills
and now i am going to buy twice
see ya.
But why
indigo estuary
But why
Its fine...
ill just buy some flu pills and some weird ass laxatives
taste more good than sleeping pills ๐ ๐
Hey @indigo estuary I hope you are ok?
I wouldn't advise taking a lot tablets because the result as you already know is a lot of pain!
indigo estuary
Its fine...
What is it bothering you
Yeah taking a lot of pills is bad you can ruin your liver
terse crater
What is it bothering you
suicidal thoughts + traumatic past read the post from the beginning
terse crater
taste more good than sleeping pills ๐ ๐
most pills wont end up in overdose, most of the times it will just ruin your kidney or liver and ull be in extreme pain dont do it bro
indigo estuary
suicidal thoughts + traumatic past read the post from the beginning
Its as easy to get off internet
terse crater
Its as easy to get off internet
yeye mate, disregard him even more, and please say "just get over it" to his traumatic past too so you can express your stupidity even more
indigo estuary
Mans 13 yo
Just get off the phone
Done gathering
Everything will be better
Not that much
I think 23-24
Oi mate
Total i ate 40+ pills probably lol
Uninstall discord
Best thing you can do
indigo estuary
Uninstall discord
Do you think its that easy?
Ofc not
This fucking place is the only place i can be me
But it will help
Expressing myself without getting more verbal and pyhsical bullyment at school
Are you being bullied?
Yea.
Lol
Have you tried all thats im your hand to solve that?
The fact is is that discord is the only social media platform that none of my classmates have
Thats why i am basicly always here 24/7
Man i get you
I feel weird now
Why is it
I can feel my pulse on my neck
O the pills
My head felt like its being stomped
I have experienced this
But this is kinda diffrent
Do you want to voice chat?
No, it will be weird as fuck
Its okay
A 14 year old talking in english near the fucking road in aomori while being basicly high on flu pills
That will be goofy af if i got questioned by the cops ๐
Imma be offline for a bit
Man
Social media wont fix your problems
Im going to my house
It okay
indigo estuary
Social media wont fix your problems
Atleast i can "socialized" Without getting fucked up
Wdym by that
You are struggling arent you?
indigo estuary
Wdym by that
Yea, the reason is that i always wear a hoodie is that is not because its cold af, its because that my body is basicly a secondary skin
I read in the libary that a skin when its damage will reformed into a new and wekaer skin
Im basicly the human embodyment of it hehe
๐๐๐ผ
Why do you give so much importance to that
I shouldnt text and biked, people are looking at me like i just robbed a bank lol
indigo estuary
Why do you give so much importance to that
Biology homework
My teacher gave me a weird ass homework about skin
But is it a problem with your skin?
And i stumbled uppon that in the libary when i tried the research of the skin
indigo estuary
But is it a problem with your skin?
Well... I usually slice bits of my skin off using a small version of a katana (i forgor the name but they used to use this for commiting suicide back in the day)
Wakizashi
Is that the name?
Imma search it up
Yeah but nvm
Man its just skin
Dont bother
It doesnt make you worse or anything
True
Man
I know it is hard
Really
Try getting off technology for a week
You may not like it but medicine isnt always raspberry flavored
Only when youre completly alone you will start thinking clear
Do whatever but stay away from technology okay
Try it for a day at least
I actually tried going on and off
One month fully on
And one month break
But i dont really gained anything at the break
Like fr
I am litterally in the attic
Have you tried doing sport?
Theres not that much shit you can do unless reading the same doujin and comix books around and around
indigo estuary
Have you tried doing sport?
I am currently in the swimming team but i still suck ass
I tried basketball, soccer, badminton
Going to the gym helped me cope for a long time
Try calisthenics man
You can train at home
indigo estuary
Going to the gym helped me cope for a long time
Got molested therw
indigo estuary
You can train at home
Ill try doing some pull ups on the attic
I think i can go up
Its 2.45 meters vertikal
I think i can.
Pull ups are hard
Try push ups first
indigo estuary
Pull ups are hard
I do them daily
Based based
O man
I find it hard to do sit ups actuallu
Why do your classmates bully you
indigo estuary
Why do your classmates bully you
I actually dont have a fucking clue
It actually started when i was at elementarry
Do they beat you up?
I remember it it started on third grade
indigo estuary
Do they beat you up?
The beat up started at 5th grade
Wtfff
Tell the teacher man
They never listens
indigo estuary
Tell the teacher man
I almost got kicked out of elementarry because i am "a disturbance"
When mostly the only thing that i did in the classroom is just minding my own buissness, doing task, helping some of the staff, etc
Idk why
I almost got kicked out
But good thing the janitor and the libarian did not agree to the fact that i am going to get kicked out
Sooo i never did ๐
I still owed them many thanks.
Man
Get off your phone man fr
Yea
Im going to be online when i got home
Brb
No i mean forever
You dont need it
No, i need it
Just like i said, this is the only basicly safe space that i have.
Im not even safe at the attic
The bangings, shouts, crys, and a lot of shit happening when i was therw
But the bangings stop when i add a glass winfow at the sliding vertical door
There is still some shouts but atleast the hurtfull ones werent that much than it used to.
Imma go now
-ใใใชใ็ใใโฆ-