vynnx#8232 has been warned
#I’ve been faking my happiness for so long I’m starting to forget what real happiness feels like
pseudo agateBOT
vynnx#8232 has been warned
paper frost
My dad is trying to give up custody of me (I have divorced parents) and I’ve tried telling 2 people. Both brushes me off. One gaslighted me saying I’m fine and it’s just a phase I’ll get over it. And the other guilt tripped me, saying they were going through worse and I should support them. Ever since the divorce I’ve tried to be the perfect basic b**** everyone wishes to be to clear my head and feel better but I just made it worse and I feel like I’m not really me anymore and everyone likes me for somebody I’m not and I’m scared for my future and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t know who I really am anymore and I wanna hurt myself. I have before and I wanna do it again. My dad often checks up on me and scolds me for hiding in my room and says I’m dragging down the family by not socializing with them 24/7 (new blended family of 2 months) and i should do better. I have 2 new step sisters, one 7yo, other 10yo, they say their too young to understand and not to tell them the situation and I don’t know what to do and he calls me slurs and cusses at me and says my brother and I are old enough. (I’m 13yo, my biological brother 15yo) he yells at me and says even if I’m sad or I’m pain smile for their sake and innocence. We are older and should learn to endure it. So I’m always smiling and laughing and faking happy. I think I’m forgetting what happiness really feels like. Whenever something good happens or I get/do something I love, I don’t feel anything anymore. I used to scream and run around with joy but now I don’t even smile honestly, I have to force it. I’m scared and I just wanna be normal again. I’m staring to question the meaning of life and importance of living. What is so valuable, that people go through this without hesitation to continue living. What is motivation anymore? I wanna know what it feels like to be free and really live again.
paper frost
My dad is trying to give up custody of me (I have divorced parents) and I’ve tri...
Kids in my class also jokingly tell me to k!ll myself without realizing I take it seriously and I consider it sometimes.
vivid pine
I feel you I’m in the same boat
I haven’t cried or been happy on years
I hid all my real emotions inside and have a fake happy personality
I don’t cry because people told me to stop and it was annoying so I did
Tbh I don’t even know who I am anymore
All I do is help people and don’t get help
I don’t deserve it anyways or happiness or love