Hating my self due to sexuality issues. | The Therapy Center | Page 1

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:05 AM

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ive been having this issue for 8 years now. in most ways i am attracted to females though i fully dislike the private parts of females. i have the exact opposite issue when it comes to males. i do not feel to attracted to males at all besides the private parts. for a while i thought it was curiosity and just not being sure. ive been in a relationship for 2 years with a female and last week we broke up because my feelings of not being sure kept growing. ive tried reaching out for help in multiple places. sadly the answer isnt so straight forward. at the moment i absolutely hate myself. part of me wants to create a life with someone. build something up. but i keep having these attraction issues and after 8 years and breaking someone's heart i am so sick of myself. if i dont figure something out my life might go way downhill from this point on.

I apologize if this might not be the perfect place for this issue but i am honestly running out of ideas and places to turn to.

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:10 AM

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you are attracted by make genital but you are into women is that it? maybe you are simply bisexual, but asexual with women and sexual with men? I am trying to understand a little

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:13 AM

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I think so. I am not even sure anymore. there can be so much stuff regarding sexualities and genders i completely lost whats happening. i am really conflicted with the fact how i continue. i find it really hard to even try to connect to anyone anymore. because everyone wants both things. emotional love and physical. and i feel really twisted and broken in that part

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how the heck am i even... i cant even explain it. when my relationship ended i broke someone's heart. and its an amazing person. its just me and the way i see things thats ruining everything

wicked heath Feb 24, 2023, 2:15 AM

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i'm on the same spot.
i like females sure, but lately i just don't find them that attractive. not sure why tho.

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:16 AM

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its okay , you need to give yourself another chance, back then you did whats the best for you, there is no wrong choices because whenever someone take a choice they always take the best one for them, if back then you weren’t feeling good in the relationship you did the best of leaving it before it was getting worst, you can find someone asexual of any gender, you just need to give yourself time real love doesnt come fast you need to let it flow

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:19 AM

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i know but i have been struggling for 8 years now. i thought going into a relationship would at least clear some things out. and finding someone asexual doesnt seem to fit fit me aswel. but how would i know.. its not like i could bash into communities looking for an asexual partner that just sounds messed up.

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i sometimes wish the brain had a hard reset button. because i hate how i think. i am already having a crap time seeing how ive been diagnosed with autism (ASS) literally earlier today aswel

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then adding the fact the whole world is a giant shtshow at the moment... like life really couldnt get worse

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:22 AM

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you might be confused about your own sexuality and its ok, give yourself time to find it out. Allow yourself to try new things, allow yourself to be more opened, it is ok to have specific preferences maybe in the end you might look for a trans woman? those who haven’t done a lot of modifications of their bodies, of course it is way harder to find but you don’t need to be in a sexual relationship with a woman either , you should try some LGBTQ dating app, or even current dating app but specify how complex your mind is, and you need time to figure out things, but don’t let your own self ruin you and make you think you are unable to love someone, you can love someone trust me, you just need to get used to it

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:26 AM

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i just dont see any real hope of actually achieving it. as you said. its hard to find. a rarity. id honestly do my best to find out more regarding dating a "transgender" but i see this as impossible

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i know this because ive tried

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:26 AM

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maybe you just haven’t found the good one

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:26 AM

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i ended up paying a lot because most things that regard any kind of dating have you pay out the ass and there you are years later with so much wasted.

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the economy has gotten so bad that i cant even try to date and find a transgender because i dont even have the funds anymore

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:27 AM

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maybe just don’t date for now, and try to open up yourself a little more into parties and such? maybe you need to catch back the social life

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how come you pay?

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:28 AM

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because most dating sites require monthly subscriptions.

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:29 AM

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oh I see

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:29 AM

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after that ive tried reaching out in lgbtq communities

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:29 AM

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but how about opening up your social life?

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:30 AM

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my social life is already quite open i already told most people i know my issues and whenever i see an oppertunity to tell my issue i do tell. though i am not lets say someone who goes to parties or goes a night out. because i really dislike that.

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if i do were to force myself to go to those events or places. id find someone who likes going there while i absolutely hate being there.

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i dont see that going wel. if i may be honest

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:32 AM

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so you are not social when it comes to a too big event?

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you can maybe try smaller parties, hanging out with friends and some of their own friends you can meet, slowly adapting yourself

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:35 AM

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thats probably the only thing i really dont see myself doing i truly appriciate the help and understand your answer. i just truly hate parties anything that has a bunch of noise or commotion. it just really stresses me out.

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not sure if that might have anything to do with the Autism or not. i am still visiting for help on it every now and then

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:36 AM

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yes, autistic people cannot stand noises a lot nor too much interacting, they also tend to be asexual a lot too

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:37 AM

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yeah so i guess it all has to do with it in some way or form

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:37 AM

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but its okay, you need to trust yourself more, there are more people like you than you think you just need to find them

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:37 AM

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but yeah id rather have someone throw a brick on my foot then to go to a party.

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:37 AM

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stray cradle but its okay, you need to trust yourself more, there are more people like you th...

i know there are

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just finding is just such a challenge.

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i feel that people similair to me are all so reclusive that its just impossible

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:39 AM

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oh I get it don’t worry, trust me love is really hard to find as an autistic person I know a lot about this subject, but if you are so desperate by love then the only option is to step away from your comfort zone

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:40 AM

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ive been trying

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i really have

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:41 AM

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i really want to help you man, but i’ve suggested so much, i know there is a way, we just need to find it, maybe start going online searching for similar people like you? and get along with them, you don’t need a love life necessarily if you get enough love with friends

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:42 AM

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i understand. and yeah ive been trying to connect to similair people

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and i am still trying

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i am just kinda also trying to have a future.

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i am scared where the future is for me

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:43 AM

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you need to let it flow and let things happens as they should, you never finished meeting the people who will love you through your life

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:43 AM

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as in relationship wise but also financially. everything is so messed up atm i cant even afford if i were to rent somewhere

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at the moment i still live with my father because he understands the struggle but who knows when that ends

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:45 AM

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maybe focus on earning money first? then focus on your social life

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:45 AM

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i am making money

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decent money

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slightly more than average

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but rent here is absurdly high

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:45 AM

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then you should keep at it for now until you can stabilize yourself for then focusing on your love life

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:45 AM

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yeah i guess i just need to focus on 1 thing at a time

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:47 AM

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give yourself time you have enough time to find love, right now focus on priorities

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:47 AM

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you're right

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thank you for taking the time to chat with me

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:48 AM

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no problem if you need anything come to me again

brave sedge Feb 24, 2023, 2:49 AM

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i wil thank you so much. i failed to realize i just need to focus on 1 thing first if i focus on everything at once its guaranteed to become a mess..

stray cradle Feb 24, 2023, 2:50 AM

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it’s okay it was a pleasure to help you :)

hallow crane Feb 26, 2023, 1:06 PM

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brave sedge i wil thank you so much. i failed to realize i just need to focus on 1 thing fir...

If you are struggling with sexuality then I could direct you to a LGBTQ+ discord server that has a lot of people that may be able to help you.

brave sedge Feb 26, 2023, 3:41 PM

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hallow crane If you are struggling with sexuality then I could direct you to a LGBTQ+ discord...

ive already been there and talked to people. so thank you.

hallow crane Feb 26, 2023, 3:41 PM

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brave sedge ive already been there and talked to people. so thank you.

Okay. No problem.

#Hating my self due to sexuality issues.