Im thinking of suicide tonight

[vague lodge]

I really advise you dont, you're so young, its not fair.

Have you tried doing something you like to keep your mind off of these thoughts?

Maybe: drawing/doodling, listning to music.

[steady nebula]

no im in to much pain

[vague lodge]

Ok thats totally fine, try breathing at a slow pace to calm yourself down.

I believe in you.

[steady nebula]

welp I don’t believe in myself I can’t even move

[vague lodge]

Deep breaths, slow deep breaths.

Try counting up to 10.

I know this sounds silly, but it works.

[steady nebula]

no

it won’t help

[vague lodge]

Try the breathing again.

In through your nose for 3 seconds, hold for 3, out for 3 seconds.

[steady nebula]

no

[steel patio]

What's making you want to kill yourself if you dint mind me asking

[steady nebula]

I’m in so much fuvcking mental and physical pain rn i want to shoot myself flr thst reason

I can’t rn tbh

[solemn carbon]

Hey calm down please.

[steady nebula]

I cant

im shaking

[solemn carbon]

You can

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

You haven't lost yet

[steady nebula]

Im so close to losing

[solemn carbon]

Pull yourself together.

Aubrey, you can pull yourself together.

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

Please Aubrey

[steady nebula]

im trying

but im losing

[solemn carbon]

You can't lose now

Stay with me Aubrey

[steady nebula]

ok

[lapis hedge]

Man shut yo b as up you ain’t do that

Before you do that

I want you to help people out

Like if you gonna waste your time like that

I want you to use on good time

Like fix global warming together

Help the world

Like

You can use your self as that

Instead of freaking leaving blood all over the earth and make your family cry

Like don’t make sense

You really dumb for the old like

If you have losed so much thing

Start over again

It’s simple

Stop thinking so hard

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

im trying

[solemn carbon]

Good. Keep trying.

[lapis hedge]

Good let’s save the earth together my brothe

[steady nebula]

knife, open

[solemn carbon]

Hey, hey, hey

Aubrey. Don't do it

[steady nebula]

sh feels good i want to

[solemn carbon]

Please don't do it.

[lapis hedge]

Bro are you really?

[steady nebula]

yes

maybe

[steady nebula]

im trying

i might

cut

[solemn carbon]

Hey dont cut

please

[steady nebula]

i did

not

cut

[solemn carbon]

good. can you please close it.

[steady nebula]

might of took a little to much ibuprofen thou

[steady nebula]

I did

[solemn carbon]

Good.

[steady nebula]

i feel little dizzy thou

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey

[steady nebula]

waht

[solemn carbon]

Do you like anime at all?

[steady nebula]

ye

[solemn carbon]

Have you ever gone to NDK?

The convention up in Denver?

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

What animes do you watch.

[steady nebula]

demon slayer, chainsaw man

[solemn carbon]

Good choices

Would you ever want to go to NDK?

[steady nebula]

eh maybe

[solemn carbon]

Tickets are on sale right now for September.

[steady nebula]

eh i feel better took a little to much ibuprofen but i good

mentally still trash

[solemn carbon]

Ok.

Ill be here if you need anything else Aubrey.

[steady nebula]

Ok

[lapis hedge]

If you did I swear to god you a stupid

Like how old are you?

Look the world

Like breath air and touch grass for some time

It don’t make sense

[steady nebula]

ok

@solemn carbon its bad again, rlly bad

[solemn carbon]

Whats the matter now?

[steady nebula]

This time, im about to shoot myself

and the temptation is bad

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey. Please don't.

[steady nebula]

knife open fvck im trying not to so hard

[solemn carbon]

Put it down. Please

[steady nebula]

iam trying

its so hard to control at this point

[solemn carbon]

You have to control it.

[steady nebula]

im trying so hard

[solemn carbon]

Try harder

I want you to live

[steady nebula]

I can’t fvck give me a minute

[solemn carbon]

ok.

[steady nebula]

Fuc* I can’t i want to die but im to scared

[solemn carbon]

That’s understandable.

But you shouldn’t have to die

[steady nebula]

fvck im honestly lost rn

[solemn carbon]

It’s okay to be lost. What do you want to do?

[steady nebula]

nothing i just want to accept that I might not live to see dax again

[solemn carbon]

Speaking of Dax, you hear anything else

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

Shouldn’t they be back by now

[steady nebula]

idk

[solemn carbon]

It’s been about 3 hours

[steady nebula]

fvck im be offline for 10-15 minutes if its longer im dead but im taking a shower

[solemn carbon]

Ok. Please don’t die

That’s all I ask

[steady nebula]

ok

im good

[solemn carbon]

Ok great.

I hope dax is back soon

Whenever he gets back. Immediately go hug him please

[steady nebula]

my parents just dropped him off

[solemn carbon]

Amazing.

Go hug him

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

At least you get to see Dax

[steady nebula]

omg i feel so much fvcking better

i needed that

[solemn carbon]

Good. I’m sure he was glad to see you too.

Whenever you feel down, hug him.

[steady nebula]

i do

i still feel like sh*t thou

[solemn carbon]

hey.

Stay with me

[steady nebula]

ok

bro i just realized my mom set up a whole instagram account for dax

[solemn carbon]

How long has that been going on?

[steady nebula]

what been goong on

[solemn carbon]

The instagram account for Dax

[steady nebula]

eh idk year or two

[solemn carbon]

Well Aubrey. I trust that you don’t kill your self tonight okay? I have to go.

[steady nebula]

ok ill try not to

[solemn carbon]

I expect to see a message in the morning.

Hold yourself to that.

Get some sleep if possible

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

fvck its worse im on the last straw with this

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey. What's wrong now?

[steady nebula]

i just feel so awful

i feel like a piece of sh!t

[vague lodge]

Aubrey, have you tried talking to a suicide hotline? or anything along those lines, sometimes they can be really helpful.

[steady nebula]

no

[vague lodge]

I feel like it could be useful, would you like to call/text one?

[steady nebula]

no

[vague lodge]

Ok fair enough, is it late where you are?

[steady nebula]

its 8:30

kinda

[vague lodge]

ohh, you see, for me its 03:40

Big time difference, huh

[steady nebula]

tbh I feel so bad rn

I want to die at this point

im so done

im shaking

crying

[vague lodge]

No Aubrey, you've got this, try deep breaths again.

[steady nebula]

they don’t do anything

[vague lodge]

Hug your dog?

[steady nebula]

I did

dint help

[vague lodge]

Stay by your dog.

[steady nebula]

i am he is in bed with me

im thinking abt cutting rn

[vague lodge]

That's great, it obviously shows he cares about you.

[vague lodge]

Don't Aubrey, you're doing so well.

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey don't.

[steady nebula]

i am trying

but failing

i am abt to cut

[solemn carbon]

No you are not

don't do it man

put it down and pet ur dog

[steady nebula]

yes

i am

[solemn carbon]

Please don't

put it down and pet ur dog

at least close it

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

Stay with us please Aubrey

[steady nebula]

fine

i am in so much pain I can’t

[solemn carbon]

stay with us

[solemn carbon]

You need to.

[steady nebula]

î try

im in to much fvcking pain

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey, you can make it.

[steady nebula]

no i won’t in the end

[solemn carbon]

Yes you will.

[steady nebula]

I don’t believe

[solemn carbon]

You should believe

[steady nebula]

well I don’t

[solemn carbon]

What's the reason for the name changes?

[steady nebula]

sometimes i just change it to something related to what i want to do or how im feeling well I think you can figure out bullet

[solemn carbon]

Yeah I can. What's the reason for mine?

Do you have a reason?

[steady nebula]

idk

[solemn carbon]

Stay with me.

Aubrey.

Aubrey stay with us

[steady nebula]

o

[solemn carbon]

What?

stay with us

[steady nebula]

ok fvck

[solemn carbon]

Whats wrong?

[steady nebula]

i want to be dead already im in pain

[solemn carbon]

Hey don't say that

[steady nebula]

i want bullet in head already

i want my suffering ended

[solemn carbon]

no no no

do you want help or not

because it seems like you dont

and we're trying our best

[steady nebula]

i can’t

I’m lost

do i live or die

fvck

[solemn carbon]

you live

you live

click the link please

please

you NEED help NOW

we are not therapists or professionals

there is only so much we can do

[steady nebula]

ik

[solemn carbon]

You need to live.

blank please click it

talk to a professional

Aubrey please

Aubrey

stay

you live

[steady nebula]

im alive im just texting someone

[solemn carbon]

you

have a phone

[steady nebula]

i lied in the start i do

[solemn carbon]

AUBREY

YOU NEED HELP

CALL 988

PLEASE

There is no but

[solemn carbon]

Why did you lie? Please call.

you call them now

[steady nebula]

because I don’t want to call

[solemn carbon]

Call 911 please.

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

please

DO IT

Aubrey I fvcking swear please

I know you are scared and hurt and confused but please call 911

they will helpnyou

[steady nebula]

im fine im calm dax calm me down its bad but not bad enough for it to happen anymore i will call if i get bad again ok

[solemn carbon]

no

you are not fine

this is not okay

[steady nebula]

listen if it is bad again i am shaking not calm i will, I promise

[solemn carbon]

no

do it now

you do not keep promises

do it now

please

do it

[steady nebula]

fine fvck

[solemn carbon]

I want you to tell them exactly what is happening

[steady nebula]

fine

[solemn carbon]

tell me who you are calling

[steady nebula]

what

[solemn carbon]

who are you going to call or chat with

[steady nebula]

988

[solemn carbon]

ok

Thank god.

I'm proud of you for that

it's a big step

I am proud as well.

[steady nebula]

ok

i will update

[solemn carbon]

be safe

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

i feel a little better

[solemn carbon]

did they help

[steady nebula]

yes

[solemn carbon]

I'm glad

[steady nebula]

i needed it tbh

[solemn carbon]

I told you that getting professional help will help

[steady nebula]

true

[solemn carbon]

next time you feel this way, call them

[steady nebula]

ok

fvckk I can’t sleep my mouth hurts so bad

[solemn carbon]

From what?

[steady nebula]

braces

[solemn carbon]

Do you have any ibuprofen for the pain?

[steady nebula]

i took some at like 8

did not help

[solemn carbon]

Ok.

You should tell your parents about the pain from the braces alright?

[steady nebula]

i did they are asleep now

[solemn carbon]

Well. If it gets worse then they can probably take you back to the dentist and see what they can do for it

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

Anyway good night

Get some rest if you can.

[steady nebula]

I won’t be able to

gn

i guess

[solemn carbon]

Hey Aubrey how are you doing?

[steady nebula]

still bad

[solemn carbon]

Hey. That’s alright sometimes.

If it gets worse then call again.

Calling can help you get better.

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

I’ll check on you after school

[steady nebula]

ok.

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey?

You here? @steady nebula

[steady nebula]

yea im doing homework

[solemn carbon]

Ok good.

[steady nebula]

i feel a little better i talked to the counselor abt the flashbacks and stuff

[solemn carbon]

Thats good.

[steady nebula]

i still feel like abouslet sh!t thou

[steady nebula]

not doing so well

[solemn carbon]

Hey what's the matter

[steady nebula]

i just got so much on my mind rn

[solemn carbon]

Like what?

[steady nebula]

the falshbacks, anxiety a buch of other stuff

suicidal thoughts as well

[solemn carbon]

Don't go back to that place

[steady nebula]

but i can’t do anything bad rn im downstairs with my nieces and my mom thankfully

i got dax

[solemn carbon]

Ok good

[steady nebula]

i am back in my room

with knife

[solemn carbon]

Hey hey hey please don't\

[steady nebula]

i am trying so hard but failing

i want but i don’t want to

[solemn carbon]

Please Aubrey

[steady nebula]

im trying

omg

[solemn carbon]

What?

[steady nebula]

i made this fvcking work of art

[solemn carbon]

What is it?

[steady nebula]

its a horsey:)

[solemn carbon]

Thats good.

[steady nebula]

no its not good…

its beataifule

beautiful*

[solemn carbon]

You like legos alot?

[steady nebula]

ye

[spark wolf]

Hey, I know that stuff may be pretty hard right now but pain is never forever. Eventually the pain and suffering will stop and you will be able to enjoy life. Please live on, please stay for us and yourself

[steady nebula]

im trying to stay alive sk hard

[spark wolf]

I like your horsey lego btw :0

[steady nebula]

ty

[spark wolf]

🙂 do you have any more cool lego builds?

[steady nebula]

ye

[spark wolf]

ohhh what are they?

[steady nebula]

big sets and a buch of dumb stuff

fvck knife, open

[spark wolf]

ohh! I used to have big sets all made up and on display aha

ah are you alright?

[steady nebula]

no i want to cut

[spark wolf]

no please dont. It isnt healthy and it wont solve anything

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey..please.

[steady nebula]

im trying

[spark wolf]

Instead of cutting, why dont we talk about something that you enjoy! You enjoy lego right? What are some of your favourite things that you have built

[steady nebula]

my horsey is my favorite

[spark wolf]

ohh, your horsey was very cool and beautiful!

is there any other sets you like?

[steady nebula]

ye, my lego ideas winnie the pooh set

[spark wolf]

ohh, very nice set. My favourite is the lego bouquet or the little love heart that was sold on valentines 🙂

Is there anything else you enjoy doing?

[steady nebula]

drawing making music

[spark wolf]

oh! Both of those are really fun! what do you like to draw and what genre of music do you make?

[steady nebula]

i make like phonk, chill music i just draw random shi* ngl

[spark wolf]

fair enough ahah. Phonk (as well as chill) are really cool imo

I'm really sorry but its getting pretty late for me, will you be okay? Just need to make sure before I leave.

[steady nebula]

ok

[spark wolf]

Remember that you are loved and if those thoughts come back please dial your emergency services contact or the suicide hotline.

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

i honestly still want to kms

[solemn carbon]

Hey can you distract yourself please? Or call somebody if you really need?

[steady nebula]

i can’t rlly distract rn its too much

[solemn carbon]

Can you hug dax?

[steady nebula]

ye

[solemn carbon]

Ok then please do

[steady nebula]

im so fvcking done

[solemn carbon]

Hey Aubrey.

Can you call 988 or 911 for me?

[steady nebula]

fine

[solemn carbon]

Ok thank you.

[steady nebula]

yw

[steady nebula]

im fvcking done

i give up

on living a good life

i will just suffer through this

horrible life

[solemn carbon]

Hey don't give up please

I'm here for you

[steady nebula]

I can’t im giving up

[solemn carbon]

Please don't

Devious#9332

Can you add him and dm him please Aubrey

[steady nebula]

I already have

[solemn carbon]

Dm him please.

[steady nebula]

just did

[solemn carbon]

Ok good.

What are you feeling like right now Aubrey?

@steady nebula

[steady nebula]

stressed

[solemn carbon]

That's a completely normal feeling

I need you to try and calm down a bit.

Aubrey

Can you try and do that?

@steady nebula

[steady nebula]

fine

[solemn carbon]

Have you ate and drank at all?

[steady nebula]

i ate but I haven’t had water in days

[solemn carbon]

Can you drink something for me please?

[steady nebula]

fine

[solemn carbon]

The dehydration is probably causing some issues for you.

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

Are you dizzy or tired at all?

[steady nebula]

tired

[solemn carbon]

How much water do you have?

[steady nebula]

bottle full

[solemn carbon]

Ok good. Drink as much water as possible.

It will help.

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

When was the last time you ate?

[steady nebula]

1 hour ato

ago

[solemn carbon]

Ok good.

Hey you still here?

Aubrey.

@steady nebula

Aubrey...

Hey. Stay with me

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

Are you feeling any better after drinking a bit of water?

[steady nebula]

no

[solemn carbon]

Can you possibly get some sleep or is it too early?

[steady nebula]

to early

[solemn carbon]

Ok.

When do you think you could sleep?

[steady nebula]

I haven’t sleeped till 1am the past nights im in to much pain probably same for tonight

[solemn carbon]

Well its better to get some sleep than no sleep.

[steady nebula]

true

[solemn carbon]

Please try to get sleep the best you can

Ill be here for the next 2 hours or so if you need me, if not then I will check up on you in the morning.

[steady nebula]

lets fvcking do 2 hour delay for school Tommorw

[solemn carbon]

That should allow you to get more sleep

[steady nebula]

eh idk I rarely sleep in

[solemn carbon]

You should take this chance to get extra sleep.

[steady nebula]

true

[solemn carbon]

Ok. I'll be here if you need me

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

i feel so much better i talked to my bff abt whats going on

[solemn carbon]

Hey thats good

[steady nebula]

i feel so relieved calmed

[solemn carbon]

thats good

[steady nebula]

i feel the best i have in weeks rn

[solemn carbon]

Hey thats amazing.

[steady nebula]

i finally feel like someone cares

[solemn carbon]

Hey thats great that they care.

[steady nebula]

ik i feel so much better I can barley hold my emotion in

[peak flame]

That’s awesome homie. BFFs can make a major difference in our lives. I’m really proud of you for taking that step

[solemn carbon]

We both are proud.

Try and get some sleep Aubrey. I have to go.

I'll check on you in the morning.

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

fvck still no sleep again

[solemn carbon]

Hey. You should tell your parents to take you back so they can treat the pain from the braces

[steady nebula]

its not rlly that anymore i just have a lot on my mind rn

[solemn carbon]

Ah okay. I get it. Just make sure to try and distract yourself with something.

[steady nebula]

i try

[solemn carbon]

Hey you home?

[steady nebula]

yea

[solemn carbon]

How you feeling?

[steady nebula]

worse

[solemn carbon]

It's probably because you are tired.

[steady nebula]

eh maybe

[steady nebula]

i just feel like sh’t thou not sleep related

[steady nebula]

tbh rn i want to kms its bad again

i might

[solemn carbon]

Hey

Don't do that aubrey

[steady nebula]

i want to

[solemn carbon]

I know you want to, but you shouldn't.

[steady nebula]

tonight might be my last night if I don’t stay strong

[solemn carbon]

Hey don't say that

Stay strong for me.

I want you to stay.

Stay with me please Aubrey

@steady nebula

[steady nebula]

im in so much pain

[solemn carbon]

I know. But don't let that control you

[steady nebula]

its hard to let it not

[solemn carbon]

Please just try

[steady nebula]

i am

im failing

[solemn carbon]

No don't fail please

[steady nebula]

I can’t handel it

its to much rn

[solemn carbon]

You can do it. Please hold on/

[steady nebula]

i am trying

[solemn carbon]

Can you go hug dax?

Please?

[steady nebula]

fine

i feel semi better

[solemn carbon]

Ok good.

[steady nebula]

I cant get that bad thought out of my head

[fallow stone]

try to read and keep your mind busy

[solemn carbon]

Sure you can.

[fallow stone]

listen to music or watch videos or even draw

[steady nebula]

no, no I can’t

[steady nebula]

i would but idk what to draw

[solemn carbon]

YES you can.

[fallow stone]

oh how about you draw a person? a dinosaur? you can go on pinterest for drawing ideas

[steady nebula]

no

[steady nebula]

alr bet

[fallow stone]

good!

[steady nebula]

done:)

i feel a little better

[solemn carbon]

Hey that's good

[steady nebula]

ty

[fallow stone]

its amazing

[steady nebula]

ty

ah fvck it bad again

[fallow stone]

whats wrong how are you feeling

[steady nebula]

im overwhelmed stressed anxious ||suicidal||

[fallow stone]

hey hey its ok thoughts comes and go, it wont stay there forever its just a quick thought without thinking, when something goes down it doesn’t mean you must use the extreme ways. You can do it Bullet life isnt a game its a whole challenge and I know you can do it, listening to you really break my heart how on earth a kid like you goes through so much, i swear I feel so bad, I think of you a lot through the day hoping you are doing well, people care for you so much, I do so much, you are so strong bullet stronger than most of people of your ages believe me, we are here for you and we will always be here we love you and we cherish you like if you are our kid, we love you , we don’t want you gone Bullet but we can’t change you, you must do this yourself, even if we help you, you are the one controlling yourself, nothing will change if you don’t do anything and trust me if you finally try to do something, im telling you, you will realize how you can actually live your life, and live instead of being alive only

[steady nebula]

im fvcking so overwhelmed i feel unsafe

[fallow stone]

please try to fight yourself listen to music or be in your world you can do it bullet we believe in you

[steady nebula]

im in so much mental and physical pain rn I can’t

[fallow stone]

nono

no

Bullet please don’t

you need to reach professional help

try asking from school or anybody you need professional support champ

[steady nebula]

fvck i give up i have a knife i cut wrist

I can’t control myself

[fallow stone]

no

no bullet PLEASE

put it down

please

please call for help this is urgent you can have a better life trust me Bullet you need to try thats all

you need to fight

i know you are strong

i see it well

please I assure you they will help you

they will help you if you simply call them

a kid like you shouldn’t go through this champ

please seek for help

i promise you things will get better you cant fight this alone

[steady nebula]

nobody will help me

[fallow stone]

yes they will if you ask for it

you need to do the effort to ask help Bullet

you need to call them

they wont go to you if you stay silent

[steady nebula]

fvck fine i need to take a shower i will be back

[fallow stone]

good I trust you

we love you kiddo

[steady nebula]

ok

worse

[fallow stone]

Bullet please call help

thats the only answer

[steady nebula]

I can’t my calls won’t work

[fallow stone]

how come??

[steady nebula]

idk

[fallow stone]

how on earth doesnt it work? Does your parents block your phone or something?

[steady nebula]

nvm i got it

[fallow stone]

good call for help please champ

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

its to much rn fvck

[fallow stone]

hey calm down calm down you are doing it bud, in less than 20min itll be 9 ok you can do it

[steady nebula]

no fvck i can’t

[fallow stone]

you can

you can trust me you can you already did over 40 mins

[steady nebula]

im miserable

[fallow stone]

you can do it believe in yourself

[steady nebula]

no I can’t

[fallow stone]

yes

keep complaining here

its ok

itll make the time@pass

[steady nebula]

im so tired i need sleep i think im just sleep on the street who tf cares its to much to text my friends mom to pick me up

[fallow stone]

no text her first

text her so you can sleep in the car

[steady nebula]

fine

[fallow stone]

good

go get some rest

[steady nebula]

fvck she is 30 mins out

[fallow stone]

how come???

[steady nebula]

she had to pick some stuff uo

up

[fallow stone]

give her time

stay in your corner

dont fall asleep it can be dangerous

[steady nebula]

i have to im in so much pain

my jaw hurts so bad

[fallow stone]

why?

[steady nebula]

my sister hit it a day ago

[fallow stone]

did you not tell anyone about it?

[steady nebula]

no I told my parents before they left

[fallow stone]

good, now once you are at your friend’s please put ice where it hurt

[steady nebula]

ok

its still loud af i just want to shoot myself rn

im in so much mental and physical pain

[fallow stone]

its ok try to focus on building a wall between the world and yourself you can do it you managed to do it a little

where is your friend

[steady nebula]

right next to me

[fallow stone]

stay close to them ok? do they know you are not ok?

[steady nebula]

ni

no

[fallow stone]

tell them you don’t feel good, you don’t need to go in details

[steady nebula]

i told them i was overwhelmed and we moved thats it

[fallow stone]

then tell them you still don’t feel good, im sure they will try to take care of you

[steady nebula]

ok

I did

[fallow stone]

good stay close to them until their mother comes champ

[steady nebula]

ok

I can’t fvck im sleeping on the street

[fallow stone]

ok but stay rlly cautious please its rlly dangerous

[steady nebula]

ok

welp nvm her mlm is here

[fallow stone]

good

[steady nebula]

i want to commit so bad rn

[fallow stone]

no

you go sleep once home

[steady nebula]

no

i die when im home

[fallow stone]

no.

you are with your friend stay with them

[steady nebula]

they are dropping me of

[fallow stone]

no

please dont do it

[steady nebula]

i have suffered long enough

im home

[fallow stone]

no

stop it

[steady nebula]

i already cut

[fallow stone]

why are you so selfish? cant you see all of us try with all weve got?? we try and try but you keep ignoring our helps as if we mean nothing we keep throwing love and cares at you but you dodge them and say no one loves you, you need to make yourself accept what we gives you Bullet

[steady nebula]

tbh I probably will just take a sh*tful of random pills see what happens

[fallow stone]

stop it.

[steady nebula]

and tbh idk

[fallow stone]

u dont even care about us and its rlly harsh from you, we try literally everything but yiu are never thankful of it, we care for you but you don’t even care for us back Bullet we can’t help you if you don’t do anything, call for help for love of god its been days we try to tell you it

[steady nebula]

i

am

to

scared

to

call

for

help

[fallow stone]

then why coming here for our help?

please they wont hurt you

you know its the only way champ

[steady nebula]

sh*t just nvm

you don’t understand how scared i am to call for help

[fallow stone]

why are you so scared dear

[steady nebula]

sigh, just the fact that i am this fvcking broken that i have to call

[fallow stone]

but you know you need help to get better

[steady nebula]

yeś

[fallow stone]

look bullet its late for me, lets both go sleep ok? i trust you to go sleep too because I have trust in you, I am proud of you for making it through the day

[solemn carbon]

@steady nebula Aubrey please stop okay?

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

What are you doing rn?

[steady nebula]

texting my bff

[solemn carbon]

Okay.

[steady nebula]

i told her what is going on

[solemn carbon]

okay

What else did she say?

[solemn carbon]

They care about you.

Keep going, for them.

[steady nebula]

i am

[solemn carbon]

will you be safe if I go now?

@steady nebula

Aubrey?

I trust that you will be safe.

I'll check on you in the morning.

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

Hey, how you feeling?

[solemn carbon]

@steady nebula I'm just gonna let you know right now that I am taking a break from this server for a bit okay? I trust that the others will take care of you and that you will take care of your self.

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

tbh a im in such an ood spot i want to die but I don’t im in the awkward place

[fallow stone]

please Bullet try to ask help i know its hard but ik u can do it

[steady nebula]

im terrified to

[fallow stone]

I know but you must to we can’t do everything we want..

[steady nebula]

who the fvck am i even supposed to tell

[fallow stone]

a professional we keep telling you it dear

[steady nebula]

who

even is a “professional”

[fallow stone]

a therapist.

[steady nebula]

I don’t even tell my parents how the fvck will i get a therapist

[fallow stone]

u dont need to tell your parents a therapist is made to listen to you and not tell anyone about it

[steady nebula]

I honestly just give up

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey, please don't give up. You have somebody that cares... your friend

[steady nebula]

I can’t take this anymore

tbh

[solemn carbon]

You don't want to upset your friend

[steady nebula]

true but i have stufferd sl much

[solemn carbon]

You also have Dax, and I'm sure he would miss you.

[fallow stone]

you are just a kid you have so much dont say this, you have a long way and yes its hard right now but it doesn’t mean it will always be hard

[solemn carbon]

Could you go hug dax for me? @steady nebula

[steady nebula]

fine

dogo hug done

[solemn carbon]

do you feel better?

[steady nebula]

im be honest

no

[solemn carbon]

You are too young to even be considering this.

[steady nebula]

my bff almost killed themselves at 7 thats young

[fallow stone]

7? have they gone through therapy after it?

a 7 years old who would do such an act would probably still be isolated from the world even today

[solemn carbon]

an that's too young for your friend, but I don't want you to give up

Aubrey

stay with us

@steady nebula

[fallow stone]

Aubrey ?

[steady nebula]

im fine

[solemn carbon]

Okay. Be safe

[steady nebula]

safe is the opposite of what i am everyday

[solemn carbon]

Well I need you to be safe okay?

[steady nebula]

being safe is impossible for me

[solemn carbon]

No it isn't

[steady nebula]

yes it is

[solemn carbon]

You've done it before here.

Whether you realize it or not

You can do it again

Okay Aubrey?

?

@steady nebula

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

I’m not coming out of my break for nothing, I’m coming out for you.

[steady nebula]

damn someone actually cares abt me

[fallow stone]

its just now you realize?? You have your friend too and me too we all care for you

[steady nebula]

yep

[steady nebula]

im kn so much pain fvck

[solemn carbon]

hey aubrey please

[steady nebula]

i try not to

but i slit wrist

i sorry

[solemn carbon]

Get something for the bleeding please

[steady nebula]

i did

[solemn carbon]

how bad was it?

[steady nebula]

meh 4 on one arm 2 on other

[solemn carbon]

jesus christ.

[steady nebula]

eh that’s nothing last time i cut 15 in total

[solemn carbon]

you really need to stop

[steady nebula]

it feel good

thou

[solemn carbon]

it shouldn't feel good

[steady nebula]

ii cut agin

[solemn carbon]

hey stop

stop please

[steady nebula]

fvc noo

fell good

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey

[steady nebula]

waht

[solemn carbon]

Will you be safe if I leave? Because I need to sleep

And you should too.

[steady nebula]

yeea

i be fine

[solemn carbon]

Ok I trust you, get some sleep aubrey

[steady nebula]

finee

[somber cargo]

Good night guys!

[steady nebula]

fvck ii overdoes on somme randkm pill inn attempt to kms 5 minutes ago i may not make it

[stark stratus]

so, someone who's contemplating suicide. Honestly relatable, I was literally just discharged from a mental hospital (even tho going there only made things worse) for attempting suicide

[steady nebula]

eh tbh iim givings up in my life

[stark stratus]

hey, u promised those 2 peeps to sleep

... I also didn't understand what u said- sry

[steady nebula]

i didd sleepp

[stark stratus]

well, great then. How u feeling now?

[steady nebula]

badd

[stark stratus]

how bad, and why?

[steady nebula]

kind a bad ii overdoes and i cut lik 14 time overnight

[stark stratus]

ic

have u taken yr medication (If any)?

[steady nebula]

i dont takep any meds

[stark stratus]

hm

have u consulted a professional

[steady nebula]

abt waht

[stark stratus]

abt yr suicidal and self harm thoughts

and actions

[steady nebula]

nno

[stark stratus]

U should, even if I had a bad experience with doing so

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey, at one point there will be not much else I can do to help you.

I need you to seek professional help, even if you don’t like it.

[steady nebula]

imm too scare

[solemn carbon]

It’s okay to be scared the first time, you are opening up to somebody you don’t know.

But if you do open up, things will get better

[steady nebula]

i

dont

want

my

parents

to

know

thats all tbh

[steady nebula]

i feell lik actually killingg myselff rn

butt i have basketball s9 I cant wish me luvk

[solemn carbon]

It's not their fault

It's easy to think it's their fault but it's not

[solemn carbon]

I believe in you to make the right choice please stay with us

[solemn carbon]

It's not their fault that they don't want to accept everything it's scary to ask for help i would know so go easy on them

[solemn carbon]

Hey man don't cut again today please

[solemn carbon]

Let them be chill out

[steady nebula]

i did

[solemn carbon]

It's harsh to ask for help and then get insulted so please for the love of all that is holy shut up for right now it's going to make everything thing worse @fallow stone

[solemn carbon]

Well that's ok but please try if you can to get the cuts uninfected

And if you don't want to uninfect it just don't cut on top of the wounds

And if you have something to wrap it up then wrap it up

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

Also @steady nebula don't let angel get to your head about you being selfish

It's hard to ask for help so I'm proud you asked for help

You reached through the door for help

And I applaud you for that

[steady nebula]

who tf is angel

[solemn carbon]

@fallow stone

That angel

[fallow stone]

ive never said once they were selfish its been days I’m here for them stop assuming anything.

[solemn carbon]

Then i got a question why did you say

[solemn carbon]

This

[steady nebula]

ah fvck I overdosed again and cut

[fallow stone]

because not only me but another guy keep trying to help them but they don’t listen to us at all, that guy wakes up in the middle of the night to check on Aubrey who doesn’t listen to us we both try out best and reply as much as we can but nothing change at all.

[solemn carbon]

I get where you are coming from but it's their choice on if they want to accept help

I don't blame you

But still

Asking for help and accepting that help is the hardest

[fallow stone]

you directly attacked me without knowing. You don’t what I did for them. So please stop

[steady nebula]

:000000 DRAMA

[solemn carbon]

I understand and i appreciate you helping them but please be patient with people not everyone takes advice the same way

That's all i gotta say because I'm glad your helping and I'm sorry for pinging you but still accepting help is the hardest process for getting help

I appreciate you helping them and I'm really glad that you are taking the time to help them

[steady nebula]

ahhh sh!t pills be kickin in

[solemn carbon]

Sh|t which pills

[steady nebula]

idkk tbh i justt took a cpul,r

couple

[fallow stone]

where did you take them from

[solemn carbon]

What color what size

Tan, white, or what

Small big medium

[steady nebula]

blue small or smth

[fallow stone]

advils?

can you send a picture of the pill

[steady nebula]

i thinkk

[fallow stone]

how many you took

[steady nebula]

4

[fallow stone]

advils are pain killer they wouldn’t do much

[steady nebula]

or 5

[fallow stone]

i take a lot of those don’t worry you’ll be ok

just rest

[steady nebula]

im spoosedd to take like 1

4 to many

[fallow stone]

and its odd it shouldn’t kick in.

just rest Aubrey

thats all you can do

[fallow stone]

it is but you can make it through. I take up to more than this.

[steady nebula]

i fel weirdd

alsoo i cut 18 times this week

just did 5

[solemn carbon]

Hey look. I truly have been waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares with my heart racing and my body shaking. At one point I won’t be able to do this. I hope I didn’t cause any bad drama.

[solemn carbon]

No your ok you don't always have to help everyone

[fallow stone]

look if you want it so much, take care of Aubrey okay. we both of us cannot anymore mainly Bullet. He needs rest and a break yet kept coming back here just for Aubrey.

[solemn carbon]

Honestly if y'all need sleep go get some

[fallow stone]

you cannot understand how we wake up and stay up late night scared Aubrey would do something it’s not that easy knowing nobody is watching over them

[solemn carbon]

But I'm not always available all the time but i can always check in with Aubrey

I’m at work rn, and Angel truly doesn’t mean any harm by what he is saying. Okay?

No i honestly can understand this because if this is causing both mental harm and no sleep then you guys should take a breaj

Please stop with the arguing and just focus on the main objective here.

Im not arguing

I understand where you guys are coming from

Okay.

It's able to get tiring helping every day

And that's a under statement but

Still

@steady nebula how ya doing

[steady nebula]

yal arent th onl ones thta helpp me i don’t always needm you

[solemn carbon]

I have to get back to work, but I can’t keep coming back here when I am trying to take a break, and I keep getting dmed by others that I am trying to help when I explicitly said that i won’t be available.

[solemn carbon]

Go take your actual break

Go to work

It's a job for a reason you don't have to be online

It's not me being sarcastic even I'm being serious

Yeah ik, and thank you.

[solemn carbon]

Well if you need me just let me know

[steady nebula]

okk

[steady nebula]

ii try drug

[steady nebula]

idk

[loud oak]

bullet to my head already#3057 has been warned

Reason: Bad word usage

[steady nebula]

im so done

i fuvkin hate my life, my grades are bad and i have Behavioral problems fvxk school my life is sh!t im lonely im a drug addicted mess I can’t anymore i want to just lay down and die

[solemn carbon]

Please don't die please please

Please listen

Its really hard right now and it will be but remember this that it's like a snow storm right now but even the worst of storms can calm down so please live not for me but for you and for the people you care for @steady nebula

[steady nebula]

sh!t ok

[solemn carbon]

Please i understand it's really hard and it will be but please stay with us

I believe in you

We all do

If anyone if us ever came off as rude it's not your fault just people need breaks some times and i know how that goes Alot of the time

Alr man I'll let you be @steady nebula just promise you will be ok

Or that you will try at least

[steady nebula]

i will be

[solemn carbon]

I'm proud

[vague lodge]

Aubrey, please try and seek help, theres only so much we can do. I believe in you, try not to think about what your parents think because your life matters more. Im very proud of you, keep pushing through.

[solemn carbon]

Aubrey I'm proud of you for seeking help on us but like Kai said we can only do so much so i trust you and I'm really proud you are trying and it's gonna take time but i know you have this in the bag it's only a matter of time until you beat this

[steady nebula]

damn ok

[solemn carbon]

Sorry if I sounded rude

[steady nebula]

wow damn you right

[steady nebula]

you didn’t

[solemn carbon]

I'm really sorry

I believe in you no matter what though

Whether I'm ||dead|| or alive

[steady nebula]

but fvck

do you think anyone will notice

[solemn carbon]

Not sure I don't really think

My upper shoulder is about the same so i don't think so

But i might start wearing longer sleeves if you own any

Just as a precaution

But i don't think so

And if they do say a dog or a cat scratched you

That's how i got away with it

Without people knowing

Someone might notice maybe I'll be honest

[steady nebula]

i think im just wear my hoodie

[solemn carbon]

But it's not necessarily that obvious

Just to be safe i would wear the hoodie if you want

[steady nebula]

i am going to

[solemn carbon]

Ok 👍

Good idea just for the meantime

[vague lodge]

Just a heads up, alot of people SH as competition, and because of this it fuels people to go deeper etc. You dont need to do this to impress or prove to anyone that you're in pain, or struggling. This may not be how you feel, but im just letting you know, and realise, that we care for you and understand how you feel. <3

[solemn carbon]

You shouldn't be suggesting how to get away with this...

I'm not suggesting how to get away with it

I'm sharing my experiences and Aubrey's just trying to hide it and it makes sense

Because it feels good but it ends up not being worth it

But honestly i could have phrased what i said a little bit better

That's what I do but i don't encourage that

It's not smart to lie because that's just going to cause more troubles than it's worth but don't ask why i lie

I don't trust alot of people

Exactly

That's why you should probably either lie or avoid the topic

Still try to not lie

Please it's not s good idea

They will see straight through that lie...

[vague lodge]

I feel this is getting s bit out of hand, the main thing is that Aubrey is going to wear a hoodie, he will be fine.

[solemn carbon]

It is getting out of hand so let's just

Zip

[vague lodge]

Zipped

[solemn carbon]

🤐

[vague lodge]

@steady nebula You ok? You have been very quiet..

[solemn carbon]

Yeah man @steady nebula how are ya doing

They might be busy

[vague lodge]

Thats what i hope.

[solemn carbon]

They promised me earlier that they will be ok

I swear on my momma Aubrey's ok

[steady nebula]

im fine im overwhelmed rn im in a loud spot and im a sensory person

[solemn carbon]

I'm really sorry if I made it worse

[steady nebula]

you fine

[solemn carbon]

Ok i didn't want to make anything worse mb

[vague lodge]

Sorry to hear that, just try maintain your breathing

[steady nebula]

i think im just get cozy and plug my ears

[vague lodge]

good idea!

[steady nebula]

there is so much fvcking noise around me i want to die rn

aggg

[vague lodge]

You got this Aubrey, just get comfortable and try block out the noise.

[steady nebula]

its so much

fvck

[vague lodge]

Well, where are you exactly?

[steady nebula]

my bed e

[vague lodge]

so whats making all the noise?

[steady nebula]

my sister is drumming there is vaccum, my dad is yelling on call outside my door

[vague lodge]

Ahhh, i see.

Try maybe listning to music to block it out

Maybe go on your phone and try distract yourself, with youtube possibly?

[steady nebula]

en ill try music

[vague lodge]

Ok!

Im gonna try get some rest now, im sure there will be other people active if you need support! :)

[steady nebula]

ok

[solemn carbon]

If you need anything @steady nebula just ping me or dm me In a request

[steady nebula]

ok

[steady nebula]

i swear the smallest thing is abt to put me over edge

[solemn carbon]

What's up

[steady nebula]

im overwhelmed