Relationship Advice/2nd opinion

[versed fiber]

Hi, I'm new here. I really don't have any people to turn to about this and I have no idea what to make of it. Online it says people hold on to old relationships and believe they're still in love when really they just miss the nostalgia or the time itself and associate that person with it
Its been almost 10 years now and my ex and I never had a fair reason to breakup so there was never any closure and we both have never had solid relationships since. I know I've missed him but I'm almost afraid to be with him and I don't know why. I don't want children but if anybody ever was gonna be the dad it would be him. He's with someone right now and I got reminded of these feelings and it's very hard for me to know what to do when he lives like 100 miles away from me
Him and I always end up somehow spontaneously coming back into one another's lives even if it's brief and I just don't think I'm holding on to anything. I think it really is love and I don't know how to deal with it but I just need second opinions
Example: him and I have went to the same grocery store at the same time and we live 100 miles apart. It makes no sense

[charred flint]

Love can be strong but you 2 are not together for a reason right. You're missing him and u guys meet randomly. I'm not much for signs but if only one of u want to try then that should be your answer.

[versed fiber]

We broke up originally because I was in an accident that made me forget everything including him and we were together for years and, to me, he was a stranger

[versed fiber]

Throughout the years our feelings have never stopped, its been on and off, and it's always been my fault because I'm almost afraid of hurting him again like I did before. We were engaged once as well. What spurred this was, on Valentines day, his mother was talking about me to him while his girlfriend was there and he didn't stop her. She said he froze and went quiet and he's just been different since. Any person would've said wth or stop or just intervened in general and he didn't

[charred flint]

i see sounds complicated tho how it ended but if u say its always been ur fault then its not about him being right for u but the opposite. i cannot speak for him but 10 years is a long time. If u dont want to let go then ull know itll just make more heartbreak

[versed fiber]

Its mainly my insecurity. I have a disorder that caused me to lose my memory and the thought of that happening again would be so horrible. I care about him and I know how hard that was for him. The last time I saw him was a year ago, he was at my house and we had dinner somewhere nearby

[versed fiber]

But I know i can't let fear dominate my life and I'm not trying to assume he loves me either but I feel like his actions a few days ago are abnormal enough to say something

[charred flint]

Waiting for something to happen usually will not work. either u talk to him about it and accept whatever happends next.

[versed fiber]

I think if I do, it would be in the event of them breaking up. I would never try to intervene or break up a relationship but I told his mom that she probably just ruined it for him and I feel really bad

[charred flint]

Well wait all u like but u cant just roll ur thumbs everyday. Love is love but hope for a relationship to happend will break patience and heart.

[versed fiber]

I'm just trying my best to be respectful and its hard. I know I can't wait for good things to come but I don't wanna ruin his relationship if he really is happy. Like I said, I'm pretty sure the mother probably just ruined it but I'm not hoping for that. I would never hope for bad things to happen to him

[charred flint]

Then its time to move on then. Distract urself accept how things are. tho easier said than done.

[versed fiber]

As sad as that makes me, you could be right. All I can do is hope that one day, we are ready at the same time 😦

[charred flint]

First of all. If things go as u want then great but hoping wont get u anywhere. Just try to accept how things are. You cannot continue like this. If u do u might never look for the future for urself

[versed fiber]

For now, I have no choice and I just have to find a way to deal. I plan on putting it all out on the table when I think it'd be a good time but if he's really done ill accept it 100%

I just want him to be happy and if that isn't with me then it is what it is

[charred flint]

sounds like a plan

[charred flint]

That's a good way of thinking. lmk if u need some advice sometime. i had to move on from someone as well so i know the struggle.

[versed fiber]

I just wish I had some closure and we have had so much consistent history. If we had any bad blood or ended on a poor note there would be no question in my mind. I've been in relationships since him as well and I've never missed anybody but him. There's been enough signs for me to wonder but I'm not gonna harp on it

[charred flint]

Sometimes an closure never happends and its harder to accept. if he wont help u with that u need to come to a closure on ur own.

[versed fiber]

Only time will tell. He may contact me about it as he's done in the past or he might not but I won't be keeping my phone close just for that reason

[charred flint]

It sure will. Sounds good. I think u got the right mind set. all you have to do is do something with that great mind of urs and use that focus somewhere else

[versed fiber]

I'm going to medical school and I've got a needy dog. I'm praying that's enough. He and I met in the 7th grade and had that connection since that point and I'm hoping I get those answers soon. Either I'm moving on or I'm stuck with him lol

[charred flint]

You'll surely move on.