how do i get over social anxiety? | The Therapy Center | Page 1

long kelp Dec 2, 2022, 11:58 PM

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i have bad social anxiety because of what others have said to me. im lonely and want to meet people but i get ignored and insulted, this gives me social anxiety. im 17

junior egret Dec 3, 2022, 2:19 AM

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hi @long kelp I’m Dart. I feel like you do a lot as I have really bad social anxiety myself. What I try to do is kinda watch people from a distance before I interact with them. So basically, I will linger around and see how a person interacts with someone else, and if I think they are a safe person to talk to, I’ll introduce myself

long kelp Dec 3, 2022, 12:38 PM

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Thank you

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I did something loke this a while ago and met 3 "nice" people they were nice to me for a year then told me to "not exist" many times and now hate me

nimble thistle Dec 3, 2022, 8:15 PM

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I have severe social anxiety and I watch people and how they interact with each other and watch for any rudeness or aggressiveness before I approach them

nimble thistle Dec 3, 2022, 8:54 PM

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Pretty much the same as dart

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 4:00 AM

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I hate it sm

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It makes me want to listen to what they said

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I use hotlines a lot

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 4:28 AM

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I just realized how lonely I am

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Time to sleep and cry my eyes out

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At 1am

nimble thistle Dec 4, 2022, 3:43 PM

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Mine is genetic so I'm thinking I might need to get medicine for it

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 6:52 PM

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To my mind social anxiety tends to have a lot to do with fear of rejection

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There's this thinking pattern of how we expect others to treat us

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Which often is a result of how we have been treated in the past

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Bc we can be told about not caring what other people think, but as y'all know it's not quite how it works

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 6:55 PM

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chrome palm Which often is a result of how we have been treated in the past

After being rejected, weogften look for the reason in ourselves. Internal locus of control of sorts. We start to believe that we're to blame for our own social failure and that we're unlikable

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Whereas the real reasons of whether people get along are complex, and they include each side's charisma, openness, compassion, compatibility of persinality, group characteristics and so on

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So to my mind the first thing is to realise what you're afraid of and why when you're socially anxious

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Feelings influence thoughts and behaviours, behaviours influence feelings and thoughts, thoughts influence behaviours and feelings

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You try to see whether your view of others and yourself is really true

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Ofc this way you can merely build up courage to approach people and maybe handle rejection better, but it won't get you friends by itself

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If you wanna do that, i think decent advice has been given already

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To try to start with people you suspect may accept you, who you can see are friendly and welcoming. If it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world, perhaps it wasn't the right person

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However

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Anxiety can get to the point of being a disorder. In such cases i'd really recommend talking to a school councellor and perhaps going to therapy. At some point it's essentially fighting with a fobia and it's not always something we can do by ourselves

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Especially when you don't have anyone to lean on in your daily life

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 7:21 PM

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Tysm

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I just want people to be nice and not ignore me and tell me to kms

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I really want to listen

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I've tried

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God I go from happy to depressed in an instantly

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RocksySad

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Idk why

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AAAAHHH

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 8:58 PM

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Hey there

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It's okay

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How do you feel rn?

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 8:58 PM

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Awful

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 8:59 PM

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long kelp God I go from happy to depressed in an instantly

It happens when you think of what people said to you?

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How often does this occur?

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 8:59 PM

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Alot

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Many times a day

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 9:00 PM

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long kelp Awful

Can you write some thoughts that come to your mind rn, as you feel that way?

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 9:01 PM

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I just feel like there's no point anymore. Nobody seems to care

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 9:01 PM

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Do you believe that's the case?

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Or is it just what your mind is telling you, but you're not sure about it?

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 9:26 PM

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Both

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Family cares obviously

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But it doesn't feel like anyone else does

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 10:38 PM

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long kelp I just feel like there's no point anymore. Nobody seems to care

Why do you need someone to care to keep going?

long kelp Dec 4, 2022, 11:05 PM

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Because I feel so alone

chrome palm Dec 4, 2022, 11:20 PM

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I feel you

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And that's why you came here

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Because you feel misunderstood

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Or rather that no one even wants to listen

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Or show compassion

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And appreciate you for who you are

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And you're just

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Lonely

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Correct?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 12:19 AM

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yes

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 3:08 AM

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I want to know why I can go from happy to depressed in legit 1 second

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 3:03 PM

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RocksyHappy to RocksyAngry

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 7:39 PM

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Idk why

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 10:59 PM

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long kelp I want to know why I can go from happy to depressed in legit 1 second

Has it always been like this?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:00 PM

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for a while yes

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:00 PM

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How intense are your episodes of being happy?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:01 PM

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i dont really get that

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i go from average / happy to really depressed and suicidal

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:02 PM

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Okay

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Several times a day

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:02 PM

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yes

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:03 PM

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How have your relationships been in the past? I wonder if it can have anything to do with that

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:03 PM

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ive never had a partner

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and i havent made a friend in 7 years

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:04 PM

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And back then it ended unpleasantly?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:04 PM

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the last people i would consiter a friend ditched me and told me to kms many times

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:05 PM

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Ookay

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:05 PM

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and my friend group for 10 plus years also ditched me

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no reason

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:05 PM

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Did it start around then?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:05 PM

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yes and no

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:05 PM

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And are you distrustful of people because of that? You're afraid they will treat you the same way?

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:06 PM

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long kelp yes and no

Wdym?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:06 PM

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i had it before but its worse now

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:06 PM

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Okay this is pretty weird

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What triggers your mood swings?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:07 PM

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idk

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nothing

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it just happens

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:07 PM

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Or however i should call it

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Is there any pattern to thoughts or themes that precede them?

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:08 PM

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no

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but i just get really sad lonley and want to die

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just randomly

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:08 PM

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Okay

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:10 PM

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i hate it

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:11 PM

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Tbh idk yet

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But it might be a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:11 PM

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ok thank you

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:11 PM

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May be neurological, may be some kind of complex

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But it's hard af to explore this

long kelp Dec 5, 2022, 11:12 PM

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ok

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tysm

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it might be bipolar? idk

chrome palm Dec 5, 2022, 11:13 PM

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I thought of that and borderline

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But in bipolar you'd expect mania pr hypomania

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In case of borderline origins could kind of lowkey add up, but you haven't really mentioned any more specofic symptoms

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Might be an individual thing unrelated to a specific disorder

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But idk

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We're half-strangers on the internet, how would i know

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But if i can help you in any way, lmk

#how do i get over social anxiety?