🌈lgbtq

[wintry monolith]

They don't have to be super tight.

[wild current]

I already have some I like button down tops

Just trying to find different styles

[supple brook]

Finally found my gender folks

[pure oxide]

I dig it

[wicked jungle]

i just want to say that i really love teabag's lgbt+ stuff, it always brings a smile on my face
(https://www.instagram.com/teabag.cartoon/?hl=en)

[blissful granite]

I love the message, @wicked jungle - I wish it was done in practice.

[wicked jungle]

well even if it isnt being done generally in practice (common sense is sadly not as common as one would like) but there are little safespaces like this server that do follow it in practice, no?

little by little the safe-spaces will turn from few to many - lets just do our part to help achieve that goal ^^
cause even if there's always going to be shitty people, there are enough good and welcoming people among us to help make the main communities less hateful ^^

[blissful granite]

The problem with that is not the message, but the reality of how LGBTQIA+ folks have always been weaponized against people.

In my day, gays were pedophiles. Legit, look that one up. Every politician called us pedophiles and sexual deviants. That's all we were. And it was ffffffin terrible. Cruel BS.

Then the trans* community got it. We don't want trans* folk going into the bathrooms. It'll hurt our children. Imagine sick perverts going into the bathroom while your little girl is in there. Cruel BS like that.

Then the nonbinary community gets it. We don't want nonbinary talk in schools. Children won't know their gender. They'll make one up. A boy will think he's a they and this is all because of those liberal gays and trans.

I've spent many years trying to figure out how to stop the hateful folks from wanting to weaponize us against children.
I haven't quite figured out how to do it yet.

But I agree with your assessment, it's nice to see in our communities. I just wish there was a message that wasn't just a safespace message, but something that everyone could understand mutually.

[wicked jungle]

in your day? it's still being held against people like that

[blissful granite]

Well, the gay aspect of it has more or less been accepted. It's nowhere near what it was 30 years ago, for example.

[wicked jungle]

i still hear people talk about all those misconceptions of the lgbt+ people
just recently when some city in america also had a pride flag on their pole many people came in saying "the lgbt has another letter: p; which stands for p-dos"

[blissful granite]

what's p-dos?

[wicked jungle]

dont like to spell it out

[blissful granite]

ugh. yeah that's understandable.

seems like the one thing they keep using against the lgbtqia+ communities.

[wicked jungle]

or just a few years ago the whole maps thing, there will always be people with that mindset of "gay = bad/criminal/sin/illness"

there's always going to be shitty people but we can still help to build over that, to get more safe spaces, to allow for more education

will it take a sh'tton of time? yep but better late than never.

i mean there are messages that should be opened up for any group even outside of safespaces, just we arent there yet to truly say "love is love" or "people are people", cause you'll still get jailed or killed in some countries for being non-straight/non-cis.
it's like talking against a wall, a very angry one at that
like i've heard of more violence from (awful) cishets against lgbt folk than lgbt folk vs cishets. still we're the ones that are aggressive and dehumanizing? it's awful

it's sad
i dont want lgbt kids growing up in what some of us grew up in. i dont want them to feel nearly as threatened as i do when i correct somebody on my name/pronouns/sexuality.
am i just some one human who is basically invisible to the world? so what.

sorry for the rant ._.

[blissful granite]

The rants are due. ❤️

The truth is, in all of the good stuff we have in safe spaces, we still need to leave them and face a lot of pain and stress. Our communities go through that. And sometimes it's good to just vent about it, because it's real. And we don't always have to put up a face of YAAAAAAAAS QWEEEN and fans and tongue pops and runways. There's a lot more layers to our communities that we need to work through.

I think the more that we talk about the struggles of our communities, the more real we become, and the more real we become to everyone else in the world too.

[vague nymph]

While I personally don’t identify as LGBTQ+, I try to understand and support those who I know are.
It really sucks to try and treat someone as some sort of criminal. And as much as I wish it would just up and end, it takes time. Though I’m glad that there are safe spaces so people can be themselves when it’s not hurting anyone else.
We should all be able to be ourselves without trying to shut out others. Normalcy is an illusion and I don’t like it when someone uses it to oust whoever they want. Everyone’s different in their own ways, so there’s no real “norm”.

I hope that negativity and hate towards any group of individuals becomes no more. But it takes one day at a time and understanding to get there.
(I also hope none of this is perceived as insensitive, I’m still learning and trying to understand some things.)

[wicked jungle]

It's weird wanting a safespace where you both escape from the bad sides of real life while also wanting to discuss it, kinda let it all go off my chest.

Struggles are hella real - and it's kinda depressing that it's those struggles that make us us
we had so many seminars in university about the importance and danger of trauma. it kinda made me want to break down in the middle of the seminars - i may have done that once accidentally because it went slightly too far haha - but thinking about how normalized and actually normal it is that everybody goes through difficulties in life, those are just very differently.
we lgbtq+ folk most oftenly undergo similar issues hence are able to better click with each other (hence why probably 3/4 of my former best friends were part of the rainbow squad lol)
I'm thankful to everybody who cant identify with something, identity or sexuality-wise, who takes the time to educate themselves and be respectful of it. it's easy to become kinda ignorant to the issues of others - so my respect and adoration goes out to all of you, genuinely :)

thanks - to both of ya, and every single lurker hah

[twilit lake]

O/

[brazen willow]

Just a reminder

You are valid <3

[mellow sand]

You are valid too.

[brazen willow]

thanks

[iron escarp]

to add to this: how validly you view yourself shouldn't be based on how people view you! simply because people say your queer experiences/identity isnt valid, doesnt mean that it is! you dont need to let mean people's opinions define you!

your queer experiences are unique and should be valued, not shot down or insulted for being different

[chrome cedar]

Had a super nice and inspiring talk with a cishet friend of mine about lqbtq+ stuff. I always love it when you talk to people with very few contact points with the topic and they are open-minded and genuinely interested!

[wintry monolith]

😆

[mellow sand]

Well my girlfriend described how she would literally fight people who deliberately miss gender me and any other trans person.

She is just the best!

[iron escarp]

BEE

[wintry monolith]

🐝

[twilit lake]

Just gotta eeeeeeeeeee in the voice in moonbase alpha

[supple brook]

Demi Lovato came out as nonbinary today!

[torn willow]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What wonderful news!

[wintry monolith]

Yes!

[brazen willow]

but wheres enbee?

[blissful granite]

Work is making my brain hurt. Plz send rainbows.

[mellow sand]

🌈

[wintry monolith]

🌈

[blissful granite]

❤️

[brazen willow]

🏳️‍🌈

[wintry monolith]

👏 👏 👏

Absolute power move. I love it.

[iron escarp]

that is amazing, the best part being the fact he is living his best life despite his parents hatred and horribleness, which is truly the biggest power move of all

[jade badger]

https://tenor.com/view/lgbtq-asexual-bee-fly-cute-gif-15574474

[wicked jungle]

me: decides to buy another rainbow jacket
my mom: oh those look cute
also her after i decided to buy one: well it does look nice but i read some of the reviews and...
me: oh no, is it made out of a horrible material? does it come too small?
her: no, worse - it's for lgbt
🙂

[brazen willow]

oh no the horror /j

that sucks tho why do parents gotta be like that

[wicked jungle]

i just said "good for you" and left the room, i'm not in the mood to argue about rainbow(people)s being awesome 😩

[iron escarp]

yeah

[wicked jungle]

that's the reason ^

[iron escarp]

i know, and it sucks that your parents are like that at all, let alone the position you're in

[wicked jungle]

well i aint the only one

this interaction was surely a very yucky one tho - kinda had hope that she'd become less aggressive about her hate since she's a huge fan of an openly lesbian singer but i guess not

[iron escarp]

i mean that is rather hypocritical of her indeed

[wicked jungle]

also it's just a rainbow jacket
I JUST LIKE RAINBOW JACKETS

[iron escarp]

yeah like whats wrong with liking things that are rainbow/multi-coloured

[wicked jungle]

idk aparently we stole the rainbow?

[faint jacinth]

My real name means rainbow and I'm bi so it suits me 😌

[brazen willow]

yes every lgbtq+ idvidual owns .00000000001% of every rainbow

[proper knot]

I has good news people

[fluid tiger]

omg i loveee

[outer pond]

as someone who grew up loving legos, i love this !!

[wintry monolith]

https://twitter.com/pfpicardi/status/1395751054277419008?s=20

pfpicardi (@pfpicardi)

Of all the disturbing things about the anti-trans Tennessee legislation, this was the most jarring.

Businesses must "post signs indicating they allow trans people 'to use any public restroom within the building' that corresponds w their gender identity.
https://t.co/fK16mvkSfL

Likes

182

Twitter · May 21, 2021, 2:39 PM

😡

[harsh knot]

:( bad laws

Laws bad because they harming my frens >:(

*those laws

[sterile wadi]

I hear Ireland is a nice place to live

[blissful granite]

This was really, really, really good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLuNGhQPDHM

Starts off as the dilemma but morphs into the realization of how her actions began to kill his love for the series by making parallels to the stages of grief and the book names. He also takes into account the real-life events that happen in the UK and the TERF leaders who she retweeted and the actual events that took place to offer comprehensive understanding of where Rupert Murdoch's influence in Europe had amplified these emotions, all while calling her out on her BS.

Definitely an excellent piece for people who don't quite understand what she did wrong.

[wicked jungle]

Wonderful video and i love how beside the "here's what happened, here's why it happened, here's why it's bad" he acknowledges that he was one of those fans who would still support her in the beginning despite being part of the lgbt and having trans friends - and that he then changed.
He shows that everybody can do the "wrong" thing, being part of the lgbt doesnt mean you immediately are open-minded and neither is your behavior/ignorance excused - but also that those uneducated can change, can be educated.

kinda the piece of hope for humankind we really need these days

also can somebody explain what's going on in tennessee? This new law is horrible and honestly disgusting
has that been going on the whole time? is that state the worst to react to trans/lgbtq+ rights?

[twilit lake]

I came across the video a while ago, it did go into my 200+ backlog though

[wintry monolith]

also can somebody explain what's going on in tennessee?
This new law is horrible and honestly disgusting
has that been going on the whole time? is that state the worst to react to trans/lgbtq+ rights?

A friend of mine immediately saw and pointed out a parallel of "Black people can use this water fountain" for this @wicked jungle

[wicked jungle]

wtf, and the majority is ok with it?

[wintry monolith]

I haven't really wanted to expose myself to the vitrol and hatred to find out tbh >~<

[wicked jungle]

understandable, it is just baffling to me that it has gotten out with an "okay"

like poland and romania had some issues with lgbt equality treatments but got slapped on the wrist so to say

i just dont know anything about the legal/lawmaker system in the us yaknow

and this seems to be a hefty breachment of human rights of children if i understand that case and human rights correctly 😅

[wintry monolith]

Bear's fam is from the south in a small town of like, 2K people, I worry for his youngest sibling. (I've asked but haven't gotten preferred pronouns so kiddo is kiddo.) Kid came out as gay, and then had realization of being trans iirc, but is very much closeted on that front.

[wicked jungle]

oh no, are their(bear's n kiddo's) parents and other siblings at least accepting?

[wintry monolith]

Ehh. Somewhat? Personally I think the fam is being accepting of kiddo bc they already lost Bear from their actions.

Which was...I don't think I'll ever forget that night of driving tf outta that town. You ever felt like, the presence of a place? We got in the car, started driving, and it was like deep bells of "Get Out" were emanating and repeating until we were out of the town limits.

Kiddo has mentioned getting called slurs, can't remember by who

[wicked jungle]

:c

can kiddo visit bear sometimes at least or fully cut ties?

[wintry monolith]

Kid is like. 14? So no, not really. Plus the drive is somethingike 6 hours

Neither Bear or I have car/license. Nmom drove with me to go get Bear (before she lost her marbles).

[wicked jungle]

oh man

gj on getting out of there with bear tho

[wintry monolith]

Yee

He was worth it and more ❤️

[wicked jungle]

maybe once kiddo gets older they can come visit you for a breath of fresh air after having to live... there

man you two are precious

did you find a second gift from the last convo btw?

[wintry monolith]

Second....gift? dialup noises I can't recall. Bear absolutely loves his apron though! And is adorable in it.

[wicked jungle]

haha it's ok, but oohhh the apron arrived? already got to use it while cooking i'd imagine?

[wintry monolith]

Mhm! It has pockets!

[wicked jungle]

pockets 👀

good pockets? ;w;

[wicked jungle]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-1Ue0FFrHY
for anybody who needs a laugh today (and for those who like to overanalyse stuff, much fun fellow overthinker gays)

[cosmic basin]

I looooooooove loooooooove theeeeeeeeese commercials so much

[charred needle]

this is so funny its in my mind 24/7

[wicked jungle]

https://tealfruit.tumblr.com/post/651962043359019008/the-worm-man-lesbiansgoal-this-comic-is-very

[cosmic basin]

I wish people would be like this in real life

[wicked jungle]

it's scary that some people ignore education and progress fully

[dry swift]

(Not to mention that if you look at how left-handedness was punished in the past, but isn't anymore, and now the number of left handed people has increased over time... it's almost like there's a pattern)

[wicked jungle]

(almost)

[cosmic basin]

One of my coworkers came out as trans today and everyone was super happy for when she told us she could finally start taking hormones this Wednesday!!

[iron escarp]

wow im really happy for her too! starting hormones is a super big deal

[cosmic basin]

I was so relieved to see literally no negative or dismissive reaction

[iron escarp]

i've been researching myself into the effects of testosterone (specifically in combination with dht blockers)

because when i finally get through the waitlists i want to be able to articulate my wishes and how i've seen other transmasc/ftm folks do it

it's really had to do research on though, most of the research on dht blockers is only around hairloss things, and most trans-related studies are for transfemme individuals that take it against hairloss and body hair growth

i did find an insightful journal of a trans person that took testosterone and fenasteride from the start and documented the changes over 2 years

[cosmic basin]

It sounds like a very complex process, so it's smart you're doing research! I can't imagine how difficult it must be to properly articulate what you want. I guess since people transitioning is a relatively 'recent' thing (as in, it's becoming increasingly common over the last few years), there aren't that many studies on the effects of hormones when combined with other specific meds

I really hope you've found enough helpful information by the time you get through the waiting list!!

[iron escarp]

I mean specifically transitioning medically in a manner outside of binary

It is quite something to figure that whole mess out

And what generally are common effects of taking testosterone or microdosing it have

And how much of it is consistent vs varies from person to person

Like I believe not all to long ago in my countries the diagnostic criteria were much harder and only accepted binary transition and often only full or almost full medical transition as well

Luckily my (gender) therapist has other clients that are nonbinary folks

One of them having pretty similar transition wishes

So I hope she can give me any sort of info if fenasteride or other DHT blockers are even used for transmasc folks

Or well, here anyways

Plus they might have more insight into it since they must have more nonbinary patients come in

[brazen willow]

I’m proud of one of my friends

He just asked me how I knew I was non binary since he’s been thinking about his gender identity

Also I’m using he since he’s fine with any pronouns other then she/her and so ye

[atomic pond]

i myself am also non binary but sadly whenever i tell people that they give me a "why not just pick a gender" reply =/

[brazen willow]

Lame, personally I just say I’m a girl half the time since I’m fem leaning and it’s just easier do quickly say and not explain to some random person ill never see again

People do gotta get better at understanding enbys

[atomic pond]

normally i just say i'm female since that's the gender i was born as, only a few people in my personal life actually know i'm non-binary.. first person i ever told my my best friend and that's because he's gay so i knew he would understand

[brazen willow]

Ah that’s fair then

[pure oasis]

most people don't realize that a person can be so much more than a single gender defines

[atomic pond]

things also get confusing since i'm also bisexual, so normally the reactions to that one are "how can you like both genders if you can't decide what yours is"

[brazen willow]

true momment

[atomic pond]

yeah 100% agree

[pure oasis]

Sadly it still seems there isn't enough representation for bisexuality as a whole and it often is seem as not valid :<

Which it's anything but!!! Its wonderful that people can find love and attraction to multiple genders

[glad plover]

F a c t s, coming from a fellow bisexual.

[atomic pond]

yes omg i can't tell you how many times i've gone to Pride events and gotten a "why are you here" look when i've said i'm bisexual

[pure oasis]

Its actually something I've been thinking about for a while now the idea of "Representation and Identity of a person" I know that my world perception and views create a rose tinted scope. And I'm liable to just gloss over that simple fact.

[tight inlet]

Bi has always included trans and nonbinary folks, that has been... Obfuscated here in recent years but you're valid and absolutely there can be nonbinary bi folks

[atomic pond]

it's like people forget what the B in LGBTQ+ means 😦

[pure oasis]

Well people still equate Sexuality =Gender

[wicked jungle]

"i did pick one: none."

[tight inlet]

Unfortunately @ talmanes

[atomic pond]

yeah pretty much lol

[pure oasis]

But I think it always starts with yourself!! I remind myself all the time that people are vastly different t and wonderful for it :3

[atomic pond]

though a lot seem to mistake my dressing style as why i'm non-binary since i hate wearing skirts and dresses, but love plead and baggy jeans

[wicked jungle]

i gotta say tho, that's a really funny comeback if it's done by joking friends and i'm stealing that for my next self-depreciation-comedy-hour

[atomic pond]

but in truth i just look really bad in dresses and skirts lol

[wicked jungle]

also hello, fellow nb but panromantic depresso bean here

[pure oasis]

You should wear what makes you comfortable and be damned what others think :p

[glad plover]

Damn right.

[atomic pond]

my bff and his hubby do joke about my "gender" a lot but with them i know it's all fun and games just like how i call my bff "Tinkerbell" and his hubby "bear" =3

[pure oasis]

Hahaha

[glad plover]

wheeze 🤣

[wicked jungle]

i shall always come back to this and be amused

[atomic pond]

omg i hate makeup with a passion XD i never figured out how to do it and i never will

[wicked jungle]

tag yourself i'm craig 😂

[atomic pond]

that demon is right!!

[pure oasis]

Its soo good I have a friend that has that same mentality heheheh

[glad plover]

Same! Like in theory, it has SO much potential...but my ass can barely get foundation, mascara, and a touch of blush to look normal.

At the most, I just use concealer...and that's, like, once every 10 months.

[wicked jungle]

also do you hate makeup in general or the "beautifying but natural looking instagram model uwu" mentality around makeup?

[pure oasis]

"Why do people care so much about this flimsy flesh prison" it's not even theirs

[wicked jungle]

cause i'd kill to be allowed to walk with rainbows all over my face but no, non-natural makeup is only for festivals

[pure oasis]

[wicked jungle]

every time i watch lgbt instagrammers just put the most beautiful art on their face i imagine them immediately washing it away while having tears in their eyes since you cant go out like this

[atomic pond]

i normally end up stabbing myself in the eye with mascara 😂

[wicked jungle]

omg dont do that D:D::: your poor eyes

[atomic pond]

makeup in general, but more so like what you see on beauty blogs and stuff like that

[tight inlet]

You can go out like that depending on where you live, unfortunately not everywhere, but it's nice that some places are inching forward. Just wish it was faster

[pure oasis]

Okie back to hiding and lurking!!! REMEMBER THOUGH: you all are absolutely valid and special and wonderful in your own way. And I support and love you all!

[atomic pond]

makeup is like rocket science for me lol

[glad plover]

I'm SHOcked when I don't do that.
Even then, one thing I've got going for me is that my natural eyelashes are l o n g, so one pass too many, and it's spider leg central on my face. xDD

[wicked jungle]

well in a professional setting you're never allowed to look any kind of individual

or at least almost never

[wicked jungle]

nooo come back ;o;

[atomic pond]

if a job or event needs me to have makeup i go look for my mom and have her do it while i keep my eyes shut lol

[sterile parrot]

makeup is so hard i tried to look for youtube tutorial and ended up not understanding half of the steps xD

[wicked jungle]

valid, but some events require makeup, what?

honestly just go for korean makeup: you have one product for eyes, blush and lips at the same time and just smush it around until you look like a glowing fairy

[atomic pond]

idk if its normal but at my work (before lockdowns lol) any events like Christmas Parties and such needed "makeup and event clothing"

[wicked jungle]

that's such bs o.o i hope the men get held to the same standard

[sterile parrot]

hm, i never felt the pressure to put makeup maybe because i got people around me used that i didn't do makeup. Or fashion. Or anything.

[glad plover]

I mean, event clothing I get, but like----EXACTLY.

[sterile parrot]

i think they were happy when i just didn't show up wearing a cat hat

[atomic pond]

nope! thats why i'm happy i'm being shifted to a new location after my dental work is over with 😂 my new boss worked with me before and knows i hate that kinda thing lol

[wicked jungle]

there are some people who look awesome without makeup aswell? and some have sensitive acne-prone skin who just cant wear makeup?? what are you gonna force them to stuff their pores?

"to be part of this job you need to have constantly inflamed cheeks, and hurting mouth, good luck"

[sterile parrot]

it's like when you work in a hotel "to do this job you need to wear high heel even though you're goig to be standing and walking 8h a day"

[glad plover]

Right?? Like, screw it, I'll pat myself on the back; I look damn good either way. Screw societal pressures, I'll do what makes me happy. = 3=

[atomic pond]

well i mean i was let go before this whole "globe event" because apparently telling guest (i am a housekeeper in a hotel) that i can't change their bedding if their stuff is all over the bed is "being rude to guests" lol

[glad plover]

I-

[wicked jungle]

WHAT

[glad plover]

I bet a pretty penny they would've been just as upset if you had moved their things without their permission.

[atomic pond]

for my place it was "you must look like a nurse who cleans and ignores injuries!"

[wicked jungle]

ah yeah sure, and later get a lawsuit of "attempted thievery" if they see you moving their shit

[wicked jungle]

oh so school nurses?

[atomic pond]

funny thing is, i actually have a degree in nursing but it's expired so i always made the joke "maybe i should have kept my uniform" lol

[wicked jungle]

whether you come with a hurting hand, broken leg or burst stomach skin, we have 3 band-aids and 503 cooling packs

[atomic pond]

i was legit told once not to give first aid to my coworkers even though i was still a licensed nurse at the time

[sterile parrot]

Hm i'm going to be the devil advocate but we had a coworker at our business who collapsed often

and the direction told us to stop calling nurse / hospital when she did because

[wicked jungle]

EXCUSE ME WHAT

[sterile parrot]

each time she just got away as soon as she got to the hopsital without even signing anything

[wicked jungle]

that reminds me so much of my former boss at a bakery who had cameras in the worker's rooms installed and always watched our behavior but if we got dangerously hurt instead of telling us where the first aid kit was he'd just block the phone number of our location until he saw that we calmed down

[atomic pond]

wait what? your director realizes how dangerous that is right?! man

[sterile parrot]

so each time she collapsed, director would come close, check she didn't hit her head / was not in danger, then put her in the resting room with someone working besides her

[wicked jungle]

o-o

[sterile parrot]

honestly it was a complicated situation : either the director let her go to the hopistal knowing she would run away and might endanger herself on her own or he would keep her close to make sure she wouldn't get hurt, and put her in a taxi at the end of the day

[wicked jungle]

hunny
they collapsed
HUMANS SHOULDNT COLLAPSE

[pure oxide]

Might be time to move over to #💬general or #💭general2 ❤️

[sterile parrot]

so she could be brought directly to her home safe ?

[atomic pond]

@pure oxide sorry about that well fun fact about my work place, on this topic i was actually almost fired for being bisexual because apparently it made other people uncomfortable.. it was dropped when i said i'd sue them if they fired me for my sexuality =3

[pure oxide]

Good for you

[sterile parrot]

AHahha good reply è3é

[wicked jungle]

you can sue them for that?

[sterile parrot]

yes, at least in my country ? (and i suppose in yours)

[pure oxide]

In America, at least, jobs can't fire you because of your sexuality

[wicked jungle]

i mean they would find another loophole

[pure oxide]

Even in Germany you can.

[tight inlet]

Yeah it's illegal unless you're in a state that has those particular uhh rules. Right to work states?

[atomic pond]

actually yes you can 🙂 it's seen as being bi-est towards someone in Canada

[wicked jungle]

bi-est? :o

[tight inlet]

Biased bi pun?

[sterile parrot]

bi-est ?

[wicked jungle]

homophobic but in bi?

[atomic pond]

lol! talk to text hate that word i guess 😂

[wicked jungle]

SMART

i need to push up my pun-game smh

[atomic pond]

hahaha i said Biased and i guess my lisp due to my teeth missing made it sound different? idk lol

[wicked jungle]

or your text-to-speech bot is a master of lgbt puns

[atomic pond]

oooh thats most likely it!

[wicked jungle]

omg your not our 😂 i hear the meme of communism end me 😂

[sterile parrot]

i had my coming out at my office quicker than at my home because a coworker had a crush on me and couldn't get that i wasn't interested until i told him "sorry i'm asexual here, if you're interested in a relationship with me, then no sex"

never bothered me again, and after that i felt so confident now i can speak asexuality with a small group of coworkers

[wicked jungle]

i remember coming out to my lads in the bakery since we were pretty close and the boss was at another location so why should we give a shit
but oh man
i forgot two of them were russian

[sterile parrot]

Oh gasp

[wicked jungle]

me: I'm pan
them: WELL WE HAVE SOME WONDERFUL SONS FOR YOU TO BE UN-GAYED SINCE YOU ARE JUST CONFUSED

[sterile parrot]

Oh my gosh xD

[wicked jungle]

just kindly :)))) fuck them :))))))))

[atomic pond]

my coming out was sudden and at school =3 i had been talking to my friend and without warning a girl in my art class came up and asked if i'd date her, i didn't think before saying "yeah okay!"

[sterile parrot]

the confused excuse, the phase excuse, the "you don't know you never tried" excuse...Classics

[wicked jungle]

in the end i was so proud about it and another coworker was bi so they chilled tf out but started to make innuendos as though i liked them

[sterile parrot]

Wow Miakitty you seized the moment

[wicked jungle]

tbf i have tried "both" ;D so that argument can go straight to the "good for you" box

i love just having those "haha i have the power"-comeback moments

[atomic pond]

it was funny because my friend just looked at me like "ugh you know you haven't come out yet right?" haha

[wicked jungle]

omg that's kinda cute

[sterile parrot]

lucky you, i can't say that when people tell me "you never tried you don't know" usually i get away with "so you suggest i force myself to have sexual intercourse to know?" and usually they're uncomfortable after that and leave me alone

[wicked jungle]

i once accidentally came out to new friends when it was windy and their work-tent got blown away and i said "does it stand straight/is it straight again? cause i sure aint"

[sterile parrot]

xD

[wicked jungle]

i didnt even realize o-o but hey that day i found out both were lgbt :D

[atomic pond]

i have a friend who is asexual and her reply is "well have you ever tried jumping from a plane with no parachute? no? how do you know you wont enjoy it unless you try it?" always makes people think lol

[wicked jungle]

when you're so rainbow you dont even realize ;-;

[sterile parrot]

AHAHA that's such a good reply too!!

[wicked jungle]

i love your friend and wish them the best life ever

[atomic pond]

she's the type to always have a comeback lol

okay! i'm gonna poof a bit, i have a little Kible Pixel Art to work on! 😛

[wicked jungle]

have fun!

also about your preferred pronouns, i saw you're afab but nb(right?) so would your preferred be he/him?

i'm also afab nb but am ok with she/her since that's all that exists in my mother-tongue and i'll be fine lol

they/them and neo-pronouns are a bit weird too so i understand ya :)

[atomic pond]

to answer your question first, thats why it's odd. i don't like being referred to as either gender him/he or she/her but at the same time i don't like them/they either 🤔 i am afab so 99% of people use she/her but its still a "eh this feels odd" kinda thing

[wicked jungle]

and neo-pronouns?

[old saffron]

Hiii

[wicked jungle]

also not your cup of wine?

[wicked jungle]

hi there!

[old saffron]

Hru

[atomic pond]

not many people actually know what those are so very few actually use them, but in the long run i do kinda prefer them i'm just not always open about it since it gets a bad rep in most places

[sterile parrot]

Hi !!

[wicked jungle]

tired but okay, you?

[sterile parrot]

Well, if you rpefer neo-pronoun we can try to use them here for you ? that's at least a safe place to use it, right ?

[wicked jungle]

Idk about bad rep but i care about you and your comfort so that's why i asked, which would be your preferred neo-pronouns?

oh this definitively is a safe space, we will even bash every disrespectful tag into oblivion for your safety ;w;

[atomic pond]

to be fully honest the ones i prefer are the neo-pronouns so yeah that would be awesome ❤️ also idk about most other places but where i live a lot of people 1) don't know what they are or 2) misunderstand what they are

[sterile parrot]

then let's do this ^^ it wll be my first time using neo-pronouns though so don't hesitate to tell me if i do it wrong

[wicked jungle]

same :3

[atomic pond]

normally in servers and such i just grin and bear it since you'd be surprised how little people ask what someone prefers

[runic mulch]

Honestly I'm not surprised at all. People aren't very concerned with matters that don't affect them

[wicked jungle]

that's true

[sterile parrot]

really ? i find it easier to do it online than in real life, since there's no "physical image" or "history" with the person, so you don't have habbit to change

[atomic pond]

well my bff and his hubby normally use hir/hirs when referring to me

[wicked jungle]

well we thankfully have the pronouns roles but i can see it being hard if you have neo pronouns you prefer, maybe time for a suggestion for another role saying "other/neo"?

hey mods, what would you think?

[atomic pond]

sometimes they also use Zem or Xem as well 🙂

[sterile parrot]

oki doki !

[wicked jungle]

ok, is "hir is" or "hir are" better?

[dark patio]

I’ll bring it up, though right now my suggestion would be putting preferred neo-pronouns in your nickname

[wicked jungle]

totally! it would just be nice if there was an "others/neo" section for the roles

thanks for the care and keep us posted, ok?

[atomic pond]

yes for sure, here i'll give you guess an example of how he used them in a chat with his sister-in-law "Hir (her/his" family is living in the same house right now, so we can't go visit. but Ze (she/he) said Ze might be able to come visit us soon."

[dark patio]

Yep! I’ll definitely bring it up.

[atomic pond]

i can for sure do that 🙂

[sterile parrot]

i see !

thank you for the example it's clearer ^^

[dark patio]

I have a little guide somewhere of how to use a friend’s neopronouns because i kept slipping up, i can try to find that if you’d like

[wicked jungle]

oh so Hir is not the first person pronoun but the first persons pronoun? gotcha

[tight inlet]

In some servers there's a role for "ask me about my pronouns" so that may be a good way to include many?

[atomic pond]

of course! idk about other people but that's the way i like to use neo-pronouns

[wicked jungle]

okidoki, i'll remember that 💙

[tight inlet]

That way you can put multiple neo in nickname or they can add it to your notes

[wicked jungle]

and nice to meet you btw 🙇

[atomic pond]

it's a bit of both but for me i like it to be used as her/his

[wicked jungle]

i just remember there being a discussion about xem is/xem are and it being individual so i just wanted to also ask which is favored by you

[atomic pond]

i do like xem but personally i prefer hir, hirs and Ze, a bit of a mix

[wicked jungle]

i mean the word afterwards ^^'

but it's ok, if i do anything wrong feel free to immediately correct it ;w;

i wonder btw how did most of you learn about neo pronouns? since we dont learn about them in school yaknow

[atomic pond]

there that should make it a bit easier 🙂 also ahh okay lol

for me it was my therapist in high school, i got depression as a kid so i was put into therapy and one of the things we talked about was what i preferred to be called, and when i said i didn't like Her/He/They she told me about neo-pronouns

lol she also got me into writing poems at the same time too 🙂 i don't think i'm know about neo-pronouns if i hadn't had her around

[hidden inlet]

Hello, might I ask what's the discussion about?

[next hornet]

I'm so happy that this channel exists 😭

[atomic pond]

o/ it's mostly about how i'm non-binary and there is a type of Noun that doesn't address genders other then They/Them 🙂 everyone has been amazing in asking me what i prefer to be addressed as which is now in my Nickname

[proper knot]

Thank you for putting them there, it serves as a consistent education which is needed to help :)

[next hornet]

@atomic pond it's very lovely to meet you, and thank you for sharing your pronouns with us ♡

[atomic pond]

Hir/Hirs/Ze is basically the Neo-Pronoun versions of most Her/She/He/His, also hi @next hornet ! of course! i'm happy there is a place where people are willing to learn about it/know it and are okay with using it

since the "normal" pronouns aren't something i like using but normally have to deal with in most places =3

[proper knot]

Mmm,
I hope you find this space one where you can feel comfortable to express yourself however you need Mia :)

[hidden inlet]

Lovely

[atomic pond]

so far it's amazing ^_^ and i'm really happy i found a place where i can openly share this sort of thing

[iron island]

oh wow i didnt know there was a channel like this im super happy

[proper knot]

All the guys gals and pals I've encountered here are wholesome beans

[atomic pond]

ikr? this is by far the best community i'm apart of XD

[proper knot]

Agreed

[hidden inlet]

Cheers I'll drink to that

[wicked jungle]

we're drinking? 🍷 🧋

[hidden inlet]

Tho I just joined the coral community I am quite Intrigued

[wicked jungle]

welcome to the horde ^^

[pure oxide]

I'd like to consider us less of a "horde" and more of a civilized group of Island vacationers bent on protecting the reef, but that's just me. 😛

[hidden inlet]

Also simping over the island's people

[iron island]

civilized horde
i almost typed civilized horse

[pure oxide]

respectfully!

[wicked jungle]

i sadly dont have a reef to protect in my closer vicinity yet so dont mind me here, protecting the horde and our lovely guls gays and pals of CI

[proper knot]

I just collect gossip guys/gals/pals

[wicked jungle]

idk about civilized horse but understandable, almost did the same mistake 😂

you're just out here for that lgb-tea?

https://tenor.com/view/love-proud-love-gay-lesbian-lgbt-gif-13055861

[atomic pond]

haha i leave to work on Kible and come back to the glory of puns 😂 i approve!

[iron island]

closest thing I have is a rainforest/forest (it's classified as a rainforest but it looks like a normal forest) to protect, can't wait to protect a virtual coral reef though

[wicked jungle]

yey i was victorious 😂 how's kibble? ;w;

[hidden inlet]

I simply lurk ancient powerful deities

[hidden inlet]

GASP WHERE

[wicked jungle]

we love and welcome our lurkers to react along with their most powerful emotes ;3

[pure oxide]

Don't forget y'all can also help @blazing schooner protect a literal coral reef by joining his charity stream too

[hidden inlet]

I always wanted to visit a rainforest

[pure oxide]

#💬general or #💭general2 if y'all are moving off of LGBT-focused discussions please! ❤️

[hidden inlet]

Ah yes, apologies

[wicked jungle]

omfg i just noticed you said ancient deities IADNPFOÖAD WE'RE NOT DEAD YET 😂 and i havent found one immortal among us 👀 yet

[hidden inlet]

Welp I'm off now, farewell, fellow humans

[wicked jungle]

wtf are we now, humans, deities, g/p/a/u-ls? 😂

[iron island]

all of the above?

[atomic pond]

we all be LGBTQ+ immortals!

[wicked jungle]

immortality sounds exhausting i already cant handle the mortal memes 😂

[atomic pond]

also Kible is doing great! though the feet are hard lol

[hidden inlet]

You are a phenomenal that not even words are capable of describing

;)

[wicked jungle]

i

i dont know what to say but thank you very much and i wish you the most beautiful day, lovely phenomenon of awesomeness and... is that a water hanzi?

[hidden inlet]

Yes

[wicked jungle]

just one drop away from immortality

[hidden inlet]

Haha byeee

[round meadow]

Honestly my favorite part in farming sims is romancing all the cute chicks

[cosmic basin]

Ugh same

[round meadow]

Why can't it be that easy IRL?

[proper knot]

Because we are not smooth criminals

[cosmic basin]

That'd be so nice

Like, giving someone you fancy a cool rock you found lying around every day, and after a month they love you

[round meadow]

hands you your favorite food/gift let's get married?

[wicked jungle]

looks in the wiki entry of your entire life so i think you might like this?
them: gasp how do you know!

[cosmic basin]

And when you accidentally select the wrong thing to give to them, they are angry at you for the rest of the day

[wicked jungle]

that reminds me so much of that one person who fell for leah from SDV after meeting them via getting yelled at that they were rumaging in the trash and then gifting leah the salad they just fished out of there (and funnily enough leah loves salads, it was fate)😂

[wicked jungle]

rewind

[cosmic basin]

Lmaoooooooooooooooooo

[wicked jungle]

me courting somebody i like: i have rock, you like rock?

[tacit horizon]

If someone gave me something they knew I'd like twice a week I'd fall in love with them for sure

[cosmic basin]

(SDV's Abigail)

[wicked jungle]

it's so funny as early gay you usually just bond over being gay with the first gay person you meet

[iron island]

games make it look so easy ;-;

[wicked jungle]

PFFFFFFFFFFF or clint 😂

[round meadow]

Does anyone here play Pumpkin Days? It's pretty new but OMG all the beautiful people you can date and marry (and yes you can marry more than one at a time!).

[wicked jungle]

"have rock" boing, crack

[cosmic basin]

No this is the first time I've heard of it! I'm looking it up rn!!

[iron island]

you can marry multiple people in that?

[round meadow]

I'm already gone through all the love interests for this game like "yep, definitely dating you, and you, and you, OMG you have pink hair? Totally marrying you"

[cosmic basin]

Aw it looks super cute

[wicked jungle]

did they finally get out of their problem zone? :o
i really wanted to play since you can be nb in there but i heard so many issues popping up when it just released :o

[round meadow]

Yep! And the character builder for your character is genderless, you just build the body to fit what you want

[round meadow]

I've put in about 80 hours and there are some funny glitches like animals getting their head's stuck in trees or my house, but other than that it's been great

[wicked jungle]

yeah but is the dev active again or is it still abandoned?

[round meadow]

Active, they just released an update this month

[tacit horizon]

Omg I have to check that out!! The thing that bugged me the most about the SDV dating is that I couldn't have more than one relationship without the game assuming it was malicious

[iron island]

tbh we need more games that allow poly relationships...for me it's because I'm indecisive but obviously in general for inclusivity

[round meadow]

Same

[wicked jungle]

idk how easy it is to program that tho

[gray ice]

Probably not too easy - but otoh how much complicated stuff gets programmed into games... 🤷‍♀️

[round meadow]

You can also decide to not romance anyone but still build the relationship up and have them as a friend who moves in with you, which I thought was cool

[wicked jungle]

some games have rivals/broken hearts/whatever the "sorry nope, i like you as friend" is/ so i'd imagine it being really hard to have both that system while also allowing a poly relationship?

aro/ace relationships are so underrated ._.

[tacit horizon]

That's the other thing that bugged me... I think maybe I wouldn't mind being monogamous if you could get to max hearts platonically which... you should be able to

love isn't just for romance!!

[wicked jungle]

well since CI has two separate heart counts for platonic and romantic from one of the screenshots that dream might come true here

[round meadow]

Yay!

[wicked jungle]

or well i could swear we had something like that, i just cant find the screenshot anymore cause i have issues with my laptop ._.

but yeah totally same, i hated that you cant truly become even best friends in most farming sims, it's either "aquaintance that i dont find annoying" or "we married"

[tacit horizon]

They just confirmed it in another channel which makes me super happy

[iron island]

yeah true! I normally don't think much of it bc it's not the ~norm~ and it's probably difficult to code but as an ace when I notice it it is a little, like not irritating but not fully disappointing?

[wicked jungle]

just having best friends alone is already fullfilling my ace heart even if i too like (pan)romantic relationships lol

[iron island]

omg that is absolutely amazing

[gray ice]

Actually this game looks reeally nice!
The only other game I've ever seen where poly romances were even a thing was Pathfinder: Kingmaker - but it was kind of hard to get and totally not the focus (and only between very specific characters... even if that made sense)

[wicked jungle]

where 👀

[tacit horizon]

Oh I think I got confused

nevermind haha

I didn't read that correctly my bad

[wicked jungle]

it's ok ^^

[sick kestrel]

🥰 I love that there is a LGBTQ channel. Hello!! fellow Gaymer here!!! 👋 🏳️‍🌈 💜

[dark patio]

Hey!

[jaunty spruce]

omg I didn't know this channel existed 😍

[rigid cloud]

I hope there are they/them options in the game

[jaunty spruce]

Agreed!

I think they said they would but i dont remember

[calm shell]

there are gender neutral options when choosing your character! you can see in some of the trailers (i think the options were ms, mr and mx but they seem to be adding a custom option too, can't remember where i saw that though)

[mental sonnet]

yes, we have mx as one of the honorifics! 🙂

[pure oxide]

And yep, custom honorifics as well if mx isn't your style!

[twilit lake]

Ah custom things, great for many things

Welcome to the restaurant "Grand vizier of the seven planes of alpha centauri" Bob.

[calm shell]

😂 love that

[wicked jungle]

is there perhaps a list of genderneutral (neo) honorifics somewhere that's alright?

[brazen willow]

shit how did you know my plan

[wicked jungle]

anthon knows all

[faint granite]

so cool to see a LGBTQ+ channel in a game discord, hi folks!

[brazen willow]

Howdy

[quartz panther]

Hiya~♡

[cosmic basin]

Hi!

[faint granite]

I didn't see it in the pinned messages. is there going to be pronoun options in the game?

[brazen willow]

I’d assume so

Tho I’ve only heard about honorifics

[quartz panther]

I hope they add custom pronoun options

[wicked jungle]

we can chose between "Mr, Ms, Mx or custom"

[quartz panther]

I dont use neopronouns but i know that they get shafted far to many times

[wicked jungle]

idk if pronouns are just generally then going to be dependant on your chosen honorific (so then Mx and custom will get they?) but that's what we've seen

[faint granite]

oh cool that's nice about honorifics

[twilit lake]

Well I have invested a significant amount in these custom spy satellites made from cans of baked beans, silly putty and a spare divine avocado

Wait did i say that out loud?

[brazen willow]

You didn’t say it you typed it

[wicked jungle]

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/623356990537596931/837673661359587348/491ae5_6543ec23acce4d03b4ad2140e6fdeca2_mv2.webp
yep it even just used to be Mr Ms Mx but they added "custom" so maybe there's just no pronouns usage for you at all (like in Pumpkin Days if i remember correctly) or you can chose pronouns later - we havent seen all of the character customization screen yet?

[quartz panther]

Different animation styles yeee

[wicked jungle]

your keyboard is pretty silent, you good fam 😎

[quartz panther]

I hope i can be a chubby girl like irl and feel good about myself

[wicked jungle]

we got customization sliders semi-confirmed in a dev diary?

i at least think? i gotta check that lol

• CharCuz UI body slider ✨🧍 ✨
  -Maya謎 — 05/18/2021

so probably ;w;

[quartz panther]

Yeyeyey

I can feel beautiful while looking somewhat like myself

[faint granite]

me too! but like I hope I can be a cute chubby enby in game like I am irl

[wicked jungle]

it's so nice that the devs already wanted an androgynous body for alpha - am so looking forward to the EA/release options, it'll definitively be nice ;w;

[twilit lake]

The other solid alternative is a t-posing cube

Alternatively a scientifically accurate cow, which is spherical, homogeneous and obeys no physics!

[charred needle]

just saw on twitter someone being mad that someone used this flag instead of some new dumb pan flag cus the creator of this flag supports people like me so exclusionists mad as usual

[radiant tundra]

I hope that this doesn’t come off as offensive, but would you be willing to elaborate on the “people like me” part?

[charred needle]

non-binary people that would use the term lesbian for themselves

i was hesitant to say it as first as i havent had the most awesome experiences using the term for myself

[radiant tundra]

Ah! Thank you for the clarification. I want you to know that you are wonderful and don’t let the haters get to you!!

I’m non-binary too so like sort of same hat

[charred needle]

thank you

[radiant tundra]

Of course! You’re welcome

[wicked jungle]

oh my goodness no

do you mean this shit?
https://acubedblog.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/panflag.png
that actually pisses me off so much because it basically looks the same and it basically excludes panromantics and aisudpasokdpad WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THAT

One of the pinks actually means "sexual AND romantic attraction regardless of gender" and i'm just????? IT ACTUALLY LOOKS OKAY HOW RUDE

[round meadow]

Ugh I hate people like this. Kinda like a group I found (and IMMEDIATELY ran away from) that was anti bi-lesbians (sxlly attracted to all but only romantically to women). Why can't we just support each other no matter our preferences?!

[wicked jungle]

omg yeah i once followed somebody on tumblr and i loved their content so much but when i asked if "ace/panromantic" or "bi/lesbian" was a thing they blocked me and called ME disgusting

[round meadow]

omg

[wicked jungle]

OK I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF YOU AS AN ICON BUT BYEEEEEEEEEE

[cosmic basin]

WHAT THE HELL

[round meadow]

I belong to an amazing discord for late bloomer lesbians and they are so inclusive, I'm so glad I found them because some of the other groups...eeesh

[wicked jungle]

i was young and didnt actually get to "byeeeee" instead i just cried because that was my first openly gay-not-sin interaction but omg

[cosmic basin]

I think it's so warped that even within the community there's so much hate towards others

[wicked jungle]

aww that's so nice :c towards the late-bloomer community

[cosmic basin]

And gatekeeping as well

[wicked jungle]

yeah the mentality of "we need to discriminate against others to make ourselves look above/better" and it's just sad

can we just stop with this bs and accept humans for who they are as long as they dont harm anyone else??

[round meadow]

Yep, I didn't discover I wasn't straight until 34 because comphet is a beetch, but finding other people like me who help me feel understood and welcomed is amazing. Just as this channel is, I've quickly discovered.

[wicked jungle]

i just watched mitchells vs the machines and i cried???? just FINALLY SOME ACTUALLY SWEET REPRESENTATION???????

i really hope it isnt problematic in other ways but honestly: watch it, it's so nice and just normalizing

[cosmic basin]

If I may ask, what does comphet mean?

[round meadow]

Compulsory Heterosexuality

[wicked jungle]

yeah the people here are honestly awesome, made me feel aight with the idea that i am non-binary, may still feel guilty but thanks to the lads here it truly is better

yall are awesome ;-;

[round meadow]

There's a whole masterdoc about it but this is the first part
"“Compulsory” is the opposite of “optional”. “Compulsory heterosexuality” is exactly what it sounds like - being straight is something our culture tries to force on us.

It affects people of every gender, but it’s mostly been studied as something that affects women. This is because compulsory heterosexuality easily ties in with the misogyny that causes women’s sexualities and even identities to be defined by our relationships with men."

[iron escarp]

yeah like its horrid

[wicked jungle]

thats actually a really interesting view wow

[cosmic basin]

Ohh wow I didn't know this, thanks for the explanation!

[iron escarp]

it makes a spece that was supposed to be validating and safe the exact opposite

[wicked jungle]

is the masterdoc openly available?

[round meadow]

Yes, I have a link but IDK if I can share that here. It's also posted on the side-bar of the subreddit for late bloomer lesbians

[wicked jungle]

i mean it is validating - to those who are "part of the lgbt" while being discriminatory 🙂

[wicked jungle]

dm me it? :o i'm not really a reddit lad ^^''

[charred needle]

exclusionists are so wild

[iron escarp]

exclusionists are why i have a hard time even considering ever going to a pride event

[iron escarp]

i mean its not just that, but its a big reason

[gloomy tendon]

the only good thing about being aro ace is that gender doesn't matter :p

[charred needle]

i just dont get it man 😩 im just like you bro i just wanna exist

[wicked jungle]

i remember watching a video about trans people reacting to anti-trans but lgbt people and they brought up this very interesting point that those discriminating people mostly see their ideas brought back to them on their social feed since the algorithms of most sites pick up on your behavior.
so those who find themselves to be gatekeeping and discriminating towards some minorities (especially in lgbt) while being of one minority themselves are basically locked inside their bubble of "gatekeeping validation"

[iron escarp]

an aro ace friend🥺 hi im pan/questioning romantic and ace

[cosmic basin]

I often worry whether I'm really part of lgbtq+ or not, partly because of people like that. I'm bisexual but have only been in relationships with men, so people often conclude I'm "just heterosexual" because "all women sometimes kiss other women" - I often doubt myself and my own feelings haha, because what if I really am what they tell me I am

[gloomy tendon]

hi 🥺 i always love meeting aspec people we're so amazing

[cosmic basin]

I also don't like talking about it because I often feel like I'm not 'really' bisexual?

[iron escarp]

this is kind of how i feel rn(i havent been in relationships with women because a lot of woman in my life were incredibly horrid to me for being different/not liking stereotypically feminine things

[round meadow]

This is extremely common, unfortunately 😦

[wicked jungle]

but your identity is yours, so you ARE bisexual since you say that you are attracted to multiple genders and identify with it, dont doubt yourself, you're real, you're valid bub 🥺

[gloomy tendon]

^^

[graceful geyser]

god i feel that
never been with/kissed a woman, but i know that i'm bi

[wicked jungle]

kissed two women but one of them was hella bad for me (tw?)||abusive/stalker :)))||

[round meadow]

I hope I'm allowed to post this but I literally just scrolled by it and it fits the conversation

[cosmic basin]

Oh that's terrible, I'm sorry you had to go through that :/

[wicked jungle]

so i feel kinda scared of falling for girls but i still know i'm panromantic to some degree haha

[iron escarp]

i mean honestly for me right now i dont even know if i see a point in labeling my romantic identity, since i dont even know if i'll ever want to date again(previous relationship trauma, the sex repulsion, being trans and not wanting to drag somebody through dating me while im transitioning, not being able to put in the effort because im at school full time)

[wicked jungle]

everybody makes mistakes, i hope i can get over it soon enough not to taint any future relationships too much ^^

[iron escarp]

i feel that but like with backstabbing "friends" that were girls

[wicked jungle]

backstabbing?

[dark patio]

When I came out as bi to my mother, she went through the whole “how can you know you’re bi? You’ve never kissed a girl. You’ve never had sex with a girl” shit. I genuinely hate when people pull that shit like it’s some gotcha for bisexuals

Of course, she also thought I was a girl at the time

¯_(ツ)_/¯

[wicked jungle]

or those who ask ace people how they know they are ace if they "never tried it"

[iron escarp]

they used me bc i would do schoolwork for them or be really mean to me behind my back, which i found out

[wicked jungle]

it's just get the fuck away from me, I JUST WANNA CUDDLE WITH MY S/O PLZ

[dark patio]

Yeah I mean? You don’t know that an ace person has never done it and also butt out of other people’s private lives it’s none of your business.

[graceful geyser]

📣 if you wouldn't question a straight person's sexuality when they've never had a relationship don't question a bi/pan/etc person's sexuality because they've never had a relationship with the same sex

[wicked jungle]

like how does me not wanting that stuff invalidate you????

[graceful geyser]

right?? like

[wicked jungle]

straight might be the majority but it isnt the default ✊

[iron escarp]

like honestly at this point i'd just be petty and tell aphobes to go hug a cactus and see if they like it, to me its a comparable experience :)

[graceful geyser]

what are they worried you'll.... not have sex too much?

[cosmic basin]

Exactly?! This is also one of the reasons I'm scared to come out to my parents. They'll probably downplay it or be like "ah you're probably just a bit curious ha ha"

[gloomy tendon]

say it louder for those in the back

[wicked jungle]

lol just make them uncomfortable via insinuating that since they wanna know that kinda private information they would wanna date you 😂

[gloomy tendon]

it's kinda dumb but the reason i don't wanna come out is that i want my parents to support me and understand without me using the label :/

[iron escarp]

they are obviously worried abt cake and garlic bread supply

[gloomy tendon]

i love garlic bread too much

[wicked jungle]

STOP TELLING THEM OUR AGENDAS 😂

[iron escarp]

oh no what if they straights cant get their olive garden breadsticks anymore because i took them all

[dark patio]

God I HATE that. If someone comes out to you it should never be downplayed. It should be supported. Unsupportive parents are just 🤬

[iron escarp]

THEY ARE LITERALLY THE WORST THING

[dark patio]

like, shit, your folks are unsupportive? I’m your dad now. Come toss a ball around and I’ll grill some hamburgers later

[wicked jungle]

since we can actually focus on romantically being close with our partners the supply of date-food would truly decrease, i'd kill for some stats on that 🤔

[wicked jungle]

only if your bf would be ok with it? 🥺

[dark patio]

My boyfriend is kinda aware of my tendency to adopt stray children lmao

I am and have always been the dad friend

[wicked jungle]

aware doesnt mean... is consenting the right word for that?

[graceful geyser]

tbh one of my goals as an adult is to the the parent that my kid's know they can go to if there's something wrong at home
just...
i want to be the safe place for anyone that needs it

[wicked jungle]

mom friend but on vacation lol i need some mojitos and one day i'll adopt all the kids who need extra love :c

[iron escarp]

i dont plan on having kids but you bet your ass i will take care of others that are in the position that i have been and kinda still am in

[wicked jungle]

it's so weird that non-straight adoption is so scrutinized, lgbt parents often spend a sh'tton amount o time researching and educating themselves to be the best parents ever

[iron escarp]

THIS

[pure oxide]

I mean... I would imagine if the person is aware that that is a personality trait of someone, and they choose to stay with that person, the approval of that behavior is implicit

But also, I'm absolutely the Mom Friend. Your parents aren't approving of you? It's fine. I"m your mom now. I'll bake you cookies and make you hot chocolate, we can watch your favorite movie or tv show together and I'll play with your hair. Done.

[cosmic basin]

Mom Friends unite!!!!!

[dark patio]

me, dad friend 🤝 Shlee, mom friend
“I’m your parent now”

[pure oxide]

Yup. We'll just be your parents now, it's fine

[wicked jungle]

and i know there are very good cishet adoptive parents but some of the stories i hear are just so scary, how are we the 100% bad pals?

[rocky merlin]

I'm y'all Aunt, I got the booze and the fruit juices ready

[wicked jungle]

not even saying "if blablabla..." nah you're just always our aunt huh 😂
gosh you are wonderful

[gloomy tendon]

i can be a cousin... idk

[iron escarp]

i mean im like the awkward older sibling that's very supportive

[wicked jungle]

idk about awkward but definitively awesome and supportive

[iron escarp]

i mean im really awkward in real life, i express myself better and more clearly over the internet haha

[wicked jungle]

that's valid and 100% same

[iron escarp]

but i think that might just be a co queer/neurodivergent experience

[pure oxide]

I mean, I'd like to think that the vast majority of -any- kinds of parents who adopt are good people, and whether someone's in a hetero or hetero-seeming relationship, or a queer relationship, or a polyamorous one.. there are bad seeds everywhere. I don't think judging what someone would be like as a parent based on their sexuality is exactly... fair.

[wicked jungle]

or just an awesome jay experience? really, you're great and i'm so very thankful to every discussion we held together and everything you educate us about hah

[iron escarp]

i wish it would be that simple to label haha, i find it really hard to identify my personality/identity at all

[wicked jungle]

it just sucks that lgbt people who want to become parents get all the hate while straight couples get idealized as "perfect parents" since kids need a mom and a dad, not like single parents also exist that are fantastic yaknow :)

[iron escarp]

like symbolically speaking, if i looked in a mirror labeled "my personality" it would just come out as blank and smudged to the point of what is there to be illegible to me

[wicked jungle]

oh no that reminds me of the "who wears the pants" query 😩

[pure oxide]

I mean, sure, but I guess that depends on who you're asking. Most of my friends, people younger than me, heck even people in my parents' generation have 0 issues with lgbt couples adopting kids. But if you're talking about America in particular and teh States that are run by the super old white guys from the GOP, then yeah, things are stacked against lgbtq couples

[iron escarp]

i mean i dont even know how it is over here when it comes to the adoption system

[wicked jungle]

BLOEM DONT SUS CHICK ME 😩

😂

[iron escarp]

not the sus chickenn

[cosmic basin]

IT WAS NOT DIRECTED AT YOU BUT AT THE PEOPLE WHO ASK THAT!!!

[wicked jungle]

hahahahahaha no worries luv

[iron escarp]

i mean who's buisness is it anyway if anyone wears pants at their home/in private? smh

only select straight people^tm are bold enough to ask exhibitionistic ass questions like that

[wicked jungle]

i mean: we both wear pants if we want to??? sometimes i like skirts sure but we have multiple pairs of pants, not just one 😂

just take them as literal as possible and see the tomato face rise

[iron escarp]

plus wearing normal pants in bed isnt comfortable, i've had to do it enough times when sick

[cosmic basin]

Imagine every woman just having to quit pants altogether as soon as they find themselves in a relationship with a man

[wicked jungle]

girls are evil with direct questions, i got asked regularly how lesbian private stuff works cause i was the first openly lgbt kid at the whole school with a gf. it was awful. some girls are horrible and loud.

[cosmic basin]

"Ma'am, it's the law, you know you're not allowed pants anymore"

[iron escarp]

that would be pain

[wicked jungle]

no!!! i just now learned to make my own bdg jorts 😭

[iron escarp]

OH MY GOD BDG JORTS

[wicked jungle]

HONEY YOU KNOW???

[iron escarp]

YES

[wicked jungle]

AAAAAAAAAAH as if o.o no way

[iron escarp]

if this was an actual thing i would have never come into a relationship in the first place

[wicked jungle]

i'm getting excited over jorts omfg 😂

[iron escarp]

i dont like skirts/dresses (for now)

[cosmic basin]

Fr fr, let me wear whatever I want in peace

[wicked jungle]

i really wanna bring craig back

[iron escarp]

can i just say? WHY DO CLOTHES HAVE A PROJECTED ON GENDER AFFILIATION

like if it wasnt for everyone telling me dresses/skirts were only for women i might have liked wearing them

i mean there's still the issue of gross folk and sexualisation but! i like how intricate goth dresses can be

[wicked jungle]

because patriarchy decided that pieces of cloth A look better on women

and old people decided that pieces of cloth B look "weird"

[iron escarp]

:( rude of the patriarchy

like the amount of body image issues i have from growing up feminine ugh i dont even

[wicked jungle]

same, i just want to step out of my flesh prison and yeet it over a cliff

[iron escarp]

like i dont like the stereotype of asexuals being robots but i am considering it

no more flesh prison!

[gloomy tendon]

being a robot would be cool

[cosmic basin]

No more pain?!

[gloomy tendon]

but i'm not sure robots eat :/

[wicked jungle]

ugh dont remind me, am in the middle of shark week and i am not happy

[wicked jungle]

the iron giant really liked his iron, so maybe it depends on what kinda robot you are?

[iron escarp]

mm this is true

time to mass effect myself and become a genderless alien then

[wicked jungle]

or become this https://images.newscientist.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/dn26738-1_800.jpg?width=600

[iron escarp]

a cardinal?

[wicked jungle]

this birb's face just screams i can be both as i can be neither muhaha

[cosmic basin]

Hahahahahah

[iron escarp]

i mean there's a lot of split mutations like that! budgies have it too sometimes

[cosmic basin]

It also says "If you touch me you're dead"

[wicked jungle]

it's both male and female but just right in the middle which just looks interesting

like the malta flag if i remember my geography

[gloomy tendon]

or poland?

[wicked jungle]

🇵🇱 is top down :c

🇲🇹 YES MALTA A+ GEOGRAPHY

sorry kinda got off-track mb 😂

[iron escarp]

i love birds

[umbral bison]

Birds are cool

[iron escarp]

birds are so gender

corvids are just there being their best goth selves

[wicked jungle]

we got so many blue tits in our yard i'm the happiest can be 🥺

[iron escarp]

i had to pause there for a second

but i think they're pretty common here too

[wicked jungle]

i am not at fault that english names them that

[cosmic basin]

I'd rather have boobies in my yard

[iron escarp]

i mean you're not im just immature >:3

[wicked jungle]

BLOEM XD

[iron escarp]

i dont think those are native to the netherlands sadly

[wicked jungle]

do you truly believe i didnt think the same, googling "Blaumeise english" and seeing the name?

[iron escarp]

heheheh

[wicked jungle]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/45/CyanistesCaeruleusDistribution.png i mean...

[cosmic basin]

booby

[wicked jungle]

they do be called european tits

[iron escarp]

they're called pimpelmees here which is so weird

like are the mees going through puberty? somebody help them

also another weird gendered thing i almost forgot abt and now im angry abt it: colours

why are boy and girls colours a thing, i want colour anarchy

[umbral bison]

Yes! Colour anarchy!

[wicked jungle]

also to come back to the lgb of t may i present you: nature loves you.
https://twitter.com/RipleyParrot/status/1136835860681224192/photo/4

[gloomy tendon]

colour anarchy sounds nice but it would probably be too busy for my poor brain

[wicked jungle]

i always forget how colorful birds can be since the most colorful birds in my village are just blue tits and very rarely funny pigeons

[cosmic basin]

Ugh, colors. I remember hating everything pink until I was about 17 because "it's for girls"

[wicked jungle]

same, now cocktail cherry pink is just one of my faves

[umbral bison]

Did you then go through a pink phase?

[cosmic basin]

I love pink and soft pastels now and I don't give a damn anymore. If it looks good on me I'll wear it

[wicked jungle]

and flamingos for some reason
maybe cause they were the first print on my first "lesbian fashion" dad-shirt

[iron escarp]

why are you me

[iron escarp]

gimme that

[wicked jungle]

former pink haters unite

[wicked jungle]

i can buy a second one and bring it when i bring you the cake?

[iron escarp]

👀

[wicked jungle]

idk if it's still in stores tho, i'll look for ya

[iron escarp]

like im obsessed with patterned shirts, i have one that was handmade and has birds on it, its great for summer cuz the fabric is so breathable

[umbral bison]

I brought cookies home from work and they're still warm

[wicked jungle]

i started wearing so many colorful short kimonos with long sleeves cause they have sooo many beuatiful patterns and are actually cooling, perfect for summer ;w;

[wicked jungle]

what kinda 👀

and do you have a recipe

[umbral bison]

I have brownie cookies and chocolate chip cookies

[iron escarp]

im actually really sad rn because i went to a bunch of vintage/thrift stores last weekend and came back home with nothing (except a crystal i bought for my bday)

[umbral bison]

I do not have a recipe

[wicked jungle]

happy birthday? :o

[iron escarp]

nah not until june but im grateful to have it early

[wicked jungle]

:o a pride born pal

pride ends with my bday so that's depressing for my life

[gloomy tendon]

my birthday is just in a boring month

[wicked jungle]

well since it has your birthday, it's not boring at all?

[gloomy tendon]

i guess, a few days before it's my brother's bday and a few days later it's my mother's bday. and final exams start :p

[umbral bison]

My birthday is in April

[wicked jungle]

happy late birthday ;O;

[umbral bison]

Thank you 😊

[wicked jungle]

exam period just started a month ago here, maybe happy (late) birthday too?

also at least once school is over you wont have that "negative association" with it anymore?

[gloomy tendon]

yeah my birthday is in april

[wicked jungle]

happy late birthday!!!

[cosmic basin]

Happy belated birthdays!! 🥳

[quartz panther]

Hey dad my parents suck take me home pls

[wicked jungle]

how can you say that's a boring month, a month of jest, eggs, rabbits and spring transformation 👀

[gloomy tendon]

idk i don't vibe with it

and spring here doesn't really start until may

[wicked jungle]

valid and understandable ^^

[dark patio]

Sure thing sport

[wicked jungle]

to everybody who got misgendered (especially today), feel free to take their pizza(s) 😎

[pure oxide]

You want a cozy blanket? Need some cookies? Want a nap?

[round meadow]

I have an amazing mom if anyone wants a mom/grandma. She likes to bake and can work around dietary limitations (I'm vegetarian and mostly dairy free, almond free). She likes to adopt my friends, she wanted more kids but couldn't have any.

She accepts that she'll only ever be a cat grandma for me lol

[wicked jungle]

cats are the best grandkids lol

[round meadow]

My boy is an absolute spoiled brat but she still gives him treats whenever she comes to visit lol

[wicked jungle]

awww

he must love his grandma

[wicked jungle]

also whoever's interested and wants to give their eyes some roll-back workout there is an article about all of the tweets about "new flags" which use misinformation and gatekeeping as explanations why the old flags are bad and misunderstood, i just read about the ace flag "cancellation" and am just... why
https://acubedblog.wordpress.com/2020/07/07/capture-the-flag-why-im-concerned-about-flag-discourse-on-twitter/

[tight inlet]

The article is poorly worded/rude in some areas but does have a good point about the creation of new flags tied to the spread of misinformation. There's a lot of nonsense (like the whole bi means only two for example) being spread and it's really disheartening the way people are smearing existing flags just to promote their own versions. More flags is great! But not like that imo.

The article isn't calling for old flags to get cancelled, it's the opposite. It's saying that the old flags, in most cases, have been way more inclusive than what people are paring them down to and that is an accurate statement.

[wicked jungle]

i mean the tweets did call for the ace flag to get cancelled because apparently it's antisemitic even though it's a very very far reach

but you're right ima reword my description one sec

[iron escarp]

??????

[wicked jungle]

i hope that's better, my apologies it's pretty late thx for calling me out ;w;

[tight inlet]

I was going to say the article doesn't for sure bc it's saying ahh

[iron escarp]

EXCUSE ME

[wicked jungle]

yeah but the tweets are, i just reworded it, sorry ;.;

[iron escarp]

i am angry with that shit as of today actively

[wicked jungle]

https://acubedblog.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/ace-flag-3.png at the bottom

[tight inlet]

I don't really engage much with Twitter cos it's kinda a mess in general so yeah but afaik there's nothing wrong with the ace flag (and also the redesign isn't actually better, but that may be personal pref)

[iron escarp]

why is the "new design" blue??

since when can a color be antisemetic smh

[tight inlet]

They probably just like blue and wanted a ace flag in their fave color I assume since they wanted more of it to match aroace combo flag

[wicked jungle]

that sounds so childish if you word it like that

[tight inlet]

The color green can be antisemitic as a skin color can be in some situations. But I'm not aware of any pride flags that are antisemitic

[iron escarp]

i mean yeah but that is very much context based(unlike most examples of antisemitism that seem to be very much baked into our society 😔 )

[tight inlet]

Yeah I was just giving a short answer that there are times where color does portray antisemitism.

[wicked jungle]

i have neverheard of such a thing and am very thankful for that point of daily education holy shit

what didnt get used to portray discrimination or some kind of hate smh

[iron escarp]

:) it is appreciated

[sick kestrel]

Me: "How did I not know about this flag controversy?"
Also Me: stays at home for work, only leaving the house for the daily walk around the neighborhood

😂

[quartz panther]

Yes please im so sore from work and would love cozy time~♡

[radiant tundra]

I love being ace and constantly being self-conscious about it 🙃

[timid kite]

I get it bcs Same here 💛

[radiant tundra]

No matter how much I tell myself I’m not weird, it’s really hard not to feel that way

[pure oxide]

Hey, just so you know.

You're not weird

[timid kite]

Thats is unfortunate 😕, I wish I knew how to help. I just live life how I want (my family finally accepted they are not getting biological kids too)

[radiant tundra]

Thanks

[radiant tundra]

I appreciate you wanting to help. I mostly just need to get out of my own head I think. It’s just hard.

[twilit lake]

I also abide by this state of being! Things are happening? The rock I was under was very comfortable

Well to an extend, I usually have information appear instead of seeking it out

[radiant tundra]

It’s better that way anyway

[twilit lake]

I tend to have a very easy way of approaching these things. If it doesn't harm anyone and in the end it has no impact on my ability to do stuff, people are welcome to do whatever makes them happy by doing so :)

[wicked jungle]

highfive 😔

[radiant tundra]

Oof, I’m sorry that you feel that way too

[wicked jungle]

being self-conscious about your identity and sexuality often comes with the job 😔

[radiant tundra]

Unfortunately

[tight inlet]

It might be helpful to accept that being weird isn't a bad thing, it's the opposite, and while being ace doesn't make you weird at all sometimes it's good to just enjoy being funky

This little pig emoji looks like it's flipping the bird a little oop

[dry swift]

So what? Screw the people that tell you being weird is a bad thing

[wicked jungle]

but i am that people towards myself o-o

[dry swift]

Marm. You're a cat. I will bap your nose with a newspaper. Weird doesn't equal bad.

[wicked jungle]

JUST BECAUSE MY PFP IS A CAT I AM NOT ONE HFBANÖODKAÖL

[dry swift]

YOU CANNOT FOOL ME. IF IT'S YOUR PFP THAT'S WHO YOU ARE IN REAL LIFE

YOU EVEN KEYSMASH LIKE A CAT

[wicked jungle]

there are cat-esque keysmashes o.o

[wicked jungle]

so you're a glowing drawing of a redhaired person? neat

[dry swift]

Better

[wicked jungle]

huh?

[dry swift]

I'm an entire person.

[wicked jungle]

*drawing of a person

[dry swift]

w/e

[wicked jungle]

you set out the rules 😂

also i really like that shirt wow

[dry swift]

It's too small for me irl. T'was my favourite jumper.

Anyway, 🗞️

[wicked jungle]

wait no, get off my nose D:
the internalized homophobia against myself is strong in my sad little head, whatevs

the day i'll be a comfortable non-cat non-binary tho... 🤔

[dry swift]

A happy one, for certain.

[wicked jungle]

yeah no sounds like a wish-dream

[dry swift]

I disagree, but you can take things at your own pace.

[gloomy tendon]

does it mean i'm just darkness

[wicked jungle]

we both are void(s) but different kidns of it fingerguns

[gloomy tendon]

👉 👉

[round meadow]

I'm an adorable demon, seems fitting

[mellow sand]

I just kissed another girl for the first time. I don't know how to handle this.

[round meadow]

Well, how do you feel and how did it feel?

[mellow sand]

Good.

That's about all I can think. Well I think I am learning that joy can be an overwhelmingly emotion.

[round meadow]

That's great then!

[mellow sand]

😊

Well now I feel I better understand people when they say they are too gay to function.

[iron escarp]

sometimes it do be like that

[wicked jungle]

wasnt gay also a term that meant "happy"?

so "too happy to function"?

[vast jacinth]

it's meant a lot over the centuries

[wicked jungle]

that's true, ijust remember there being a passage in chronicles of narnia where Lucy got called "always gay looking"?

[vast jacinth]

yeah, & most modernly it last meant happy homogeneously with putting homosexual politely before....the pejorative days....etymology < communicated message in all cases though

[dry swift]

Happy and bright

If someone dresses gaily, they're in bright-coloured clothing

[mellow sand]

I think homosexual people adopted the term because homophobia at the time was trying to frame us as miserable.

[vast jacinth]

funny how conversion therapy has that effect...

[mellow sand]

So we called ourselves gay to say. No we are happy about our love.

[wicked jungle]

are you calling me gay² cause i appreciate that

[dry swift]

Lesbians and Sapphics both come from Sappho of Lesbos. A greek woman and poet who wrote exclusively about how much she loved women

[wicked jungle]

funny how the turntables always turn
the romans discriminated against straights, then the gays were the reason the Aztecs died, now being gay is a sin - equally to how wearing mixed fabric is a sin, cool

[rigid cloud]

Who for a while was thought to have married "word for man that I forgot" of androse Island.

[wicked jungle]

but yeah i still dont get how you can focus on one thing but overgo another

https://tenor.com/view/never-half-ass-two-things-whole-ass-one-thing-do-it-all-give-your-all-give-it-all-give-up-everything-gif-15654643

[vast jacinth]

in ancient Greece it wasn't illegal to be gay, but it was to be a bottom, which made a number of hilarious court cases

[rigid cloud]

Lol

[wicked jungle]

there was a politician in ancient rome who only had eyes for his wife, he got made fun of until he died and beyond.

[rigid cloud]

There are plenty of ways to get around that.

[wicked jungle]

it wasnt illegal - but it was made fun of

[wicked jungle]

also the second thing wasnt illegal, just discriminated against, it was still part of tradition

[pure oxide]

let's try to avoid common sex-related terms, please, and make sure that we're keeping this discussion PG. 🙂

[wicked jungle]

also you might not wanna talk about that here.

[dry swift]

I mean, we have to remember that if it's a sin to be gay, so is;

Cutting your hair
Getting tattoos, even of the cross
Mixing fabrics (looking at you, polyester)
Working on Sundays

And most of all. Condemning others in the name of god.

[wicked jungle]

tbf germany is holding itself to the working at sunday rule in most establishments

[dry swift]

Please read the message from Shlee

[vast jacinth]

but yeah, I'm not going further than that, just finishing the thought, sorry

[pure oxide]

no worries. we just have to remember that this is a PG server, so any kind of talk that could be construed in a more mature/sexual manner is discouraged. ❤️

[wicked jungle]

hmmm

[vast jacinth]

understandable better safe mentality to keep, I'd only add a little tongue in cheek comment that it feels a touch silly for this channel subject specifically, but yeah, gotta be responsible for what you put out / allow

[dark patio]

Well, being lgbtq isn’t inherently sexual or strictly a mature topic to discuss. That sort of thinking leads to a lot of the “oh you’re too young to know” that younger folks face.

[vast jacinth]

yeah, fair there, preferences are a matter in themselves apart from activity

[pure oxide]

I mean, besides, there's an A in "lgbtqia+" and it sure doesn't stand for ally

[vast jacinth]

I....yeah, feel weird even being in these conversations

[iron escarp]

the unfortunate fact is that it is often treated as such still, i mean in my case, as an asexual i was told that i was too young to know and even now might still get those comments (im 19)

like it is so heartbreaking that the part of my identity i am the most sure/solid abt is the one that gets beat down the most often

i mean it really doesnt help that im also neurodivergent, so my asexuality gets boiled down to some sort of mental immaturity

[iron escarp]

like honestly i have considered mostly withdrawing myself from the community around the time of pride simply because parts of my identity get shamed, overlooked, excluded or worse

[vast jacinth]

it can go the other way too, did for me. assumed myself straight & just sort of gradually realized oh...there's just...really nothing there for me

[pure oxide]

But yeah, I really think that the reduction of sexuality to just the base idea of sex is pretty terrible. There's a lot more nuance, gray area, and spectrum-like quality to what sexuality is, and every person is different. Even if someone uses the same label, their experience and the nuance of their own attraction will be different than someone else's

[rocky merlin]

You're valid, I believe in ya, I'm adopting ya, I love ya and I'll kick their butt for ya

[brisk wagon]

awww thats not nice ❤️ 😦

[pure oxide]

But mostly this channel exists as a safe place to express oneself, ask questions, have thoughtful conversations on the community, representation in media, share life experiences, talk about how we can normalize being "different" from the "norm" that is cishet, etc.

[signal hull]

Wth that's messed up

Who the hell is excluding asexuals??

[runic mulch]

A lot of people unfortunately

[vast jacinth]

a lot really

[signal hull]

My college LGBTQ+ org includes + celebrates it TT

[brisk wagon]

normailty is natural, it cannot be defined ^_^ everyone is normal ❤️

[signal hull]

Rip that's honestly dumb

[iron escarp]

i find it especially funny that the asexual exclusion is happening at the same time as a lot of the community fighting over the place nfsw stuff has in pride(it does but being openly nsfw in public with strangers is very much devoid of consent

[pure oxide]

I mean, as a person who has identified as bi since I knew what it was... the sheer amount of gatekeeping and bigotry within the lgbtqia+ community itself is ironic and terrible.

[signal hull]

I can understand both sides of it. It's a more nuances discussion

[vast jacinth]

it's similar to bi erasure demanding you have a side of the binary you land on, most typically, but there's a lot of other forms it takes too

[iron escarp]

people that believe love is defined by sexual identity and expression alone, it is a giant characteristic and an issue within the gay man community from what i've experienced

[pure oxide]

I had multiple women tell me they wouldn't date me because I was bi, so they just assumed I was a cheater, I just wanted to leave my options open, that I'd leave them as soon as a man came along, etc.

It really sucks.

[dark patio]

Oh, I know that that’s the case. My point is that it’s not inherently sexual even if people treat it like it is, and that we can do better here.

[wicked jungle]

but there are also communies who are supportive of ace and ace-spec people.
i know those who arent are the loudest those times but you're still valid and you're still allowed to celebrate YOUR existance and attraction levels. Ignore those who put so much importance on the sexual part of lgbt, we ace people and ace-supportive people also exist and love you
i would love to celebrate pride with you in a private non-loud non-disgusting manner, truly

just as you've said to me yesterday let me return that favor: you are valid i love you and you are deserving love and respect.

[graceful geyser]

honestly this is a fear i've had since i realised my sexuality

[pure oxide]

Yeah, mostly people who can't separate "romantic attraction" and "sexual attraction"

[signal hull]

Damn. I feel bad bc I haven't experienced these things,but I've definitely heard about them. Mainly online spaces where people have the audacity to say dumb stuff they wouldn't say in perosn

[iron escarp]

those sort of assumptions are so incredibly horrible... i cant believe people are like that smh

[signal hull]

I'll say that more people I've met in person wouldn't support exclusion of asexuals

[wicked jungle]

it's hella scary in person when you know they are valid for feeling safe while being discriminatory and disgusting :)

[narrow oasis]

I was not expecting to join this discord and then instantly come across such a relatable and sadly very accurate statement

[iron escarp]

you definityively have a point there and i completely agree that we can do much better as a community on so many levels

[pure oxide]

I think times are changing and acceptance is becoming more the norm, people are realizing that not everything's as black and white as they'd like it to be, but it can still be really frustrating and kinda sad

[vast jacinth]

I also don't generally feel like I belong in most of the conversations because personally, not that surprising as someone asexual, I wish a lot more people would craft identities independent of their anatomy, which can easily come off as a non-ally attitude

[signal hull]

I think best we can do is make sure to inform and educate. And if they're being straight toxic or trollish, probably don't associate or fight if you're in a space that's a majority that attitude

[pure oxide]

Honestly, I really like the LGBTQIA+ community in this Discord in particular, as it seems to be -really- welcoming of everyone (though there has been some cishet bashing on occasion, which I don't agree with), and we have queer guys, gals, and nonbinary pals from all different age groups and experiences.

[wicked jungle]

no community is perfect and it's truly sad that even among a pretty closeknit minority community hate and discrimination is so common.
why ask for acceptance and respect and love if you dont deliver the same?
am i less human than you because i differ from you? because my identity/experience differs from yours?

[vast jacinth]

I agree it's a lot more open minded here than I'm used to

[pure oxide]

I mean, I think most lgbtqia+ people would like to be seen as people with personalities where their sexuality is literally just a facet. I don't think anyone IN the community wants to be reduced to their anatomy and what kind of anatomy they're attracted to.

[iron escarp]

this is also a big part of the issue, the anonimity that comes with a lot of social media as well has the herd behavior of "what popular creators say goes" as well as the fact that a lot of these spaces were toxic cesspools of fighting/hatred outside our community as well

[wicked jungle]

i am more than some serotonin-loving neurons and biological material with gender-setting chromosomes ✊

[vast jacinth]

oh by comparison these days, my school's prism club is so policing & militant of the entire school that it's hard to not feel judged for saying anything

[pure oxide]

I mean, militant in not wanting people to be offensive or exclusionary? Or militant in telling people they can only use their sexuality or gender identity as their one personality trait?

[iron escarp]

what is a prism club? ive never heard of that before

[pure oxide]

gay/straight alliance is what it used to be called back in my day. 😛

but probably just the lgbtq club at the school

[vast jacinth]

the former ideally, but it's just an ingrained lens they've come to scan everything for

yeah, & "the gay community" before that

[pure oxide]

The problem is like... we as people who fall on the rainbow spectrum have to be hyper vigilant about our own identities

[iron escarp]

i dont even think our school had a gsa but then again the concept of clubs doesnt really exist in our country

[pure oxide]

Society is set up at the moment in such a way that... even if we don't want to be reduced to that, we -are-. The fact that people still have to "come out" because the expectation is that everyone is "straight" is a problem.

Once we get past the point of people needing to come out, because the assumed "norm" isn't just one type of sexuality... then people can probably stop having to focus so hard on that one aspect of themselves, and just... be who they are.

[wicked jungle]

i will repeat it until my dying breath:
straight might be the majority but it sure isnt the default. 😔

[vast jacinth]

yeah, as with all things you have to be intolerant of intolerance, it's just easy to see things that way in places it might not ought to be the first read when it needs to be such a constant defense mechanism...it's bred a very strong minded culture at my school, for better or worse

[iron escarp]

i mean for me it is kind of hard? because the only way i can define most of myself is through labels and aspects of myself..

[pure oxide]

Yeah, but I don't think that's your fault.

[iron escarp]

no, i dont think it is either </3

[pure oxide]

You can't even focus on who you want to be, or what you want to be, outside of these labels, because society puts all this pressure on you to be a certain way, and you don't feel accepted because you go against that "norm". So so much of your brain power is just focused on reminding yourself that you're valid and your existence is valid even if it doesn't look like the majority.

[vast jacinth]

they say silence speaks volumes, but yeah I know what you mean

[wicked jungle]

honestly everything that has minorites expects you to either wear your minority on your sleeve or to come out about it - else you'll be frowned upon

[pure oxide]

And so it becomes this defining aspect, because you can't be left alone to just BE

Hey, just your daily reminder though, that you're all valid

[wicked jungle]

like people who dont look like they are a racial minority will immediately be thought of as white - or the thing in the british royal family where it got frowned upon how "black the baby" will be

[pure oxide]

And if you don't have supportive parents, I'm your mom now

[signal hull]

I think the labels thing is both good n bad. Like it's stupid that people limit themselves to them, but it's also so useful to out a name to something abstract to make it feel concrete while also helping to find a community with it

[pure oxide]

I love you, I think you're wonderful, you're not a disappointment, and you're just who you're meant to be

[dark patio]

And I’m your dad ❤️

[wicked jungle]

elsa swifting in to be the dad of the month ^^

[pure oxide]

If you need advice, a shoulder to cry on, some cookies, a warm blanket, etc. I'm here. I give great hugs, as a fat lady, I make great food, and I'll sing you a lullaby too

[wicked jungle]

hope you're also doing ok about this discussion btw elsa

[signal hull]

But either way, just have confidence in yourself and whatever identity you have. A good outlook for me is realizing how lame toxic people are. Like it sucks you live in suck toxicity while everyone is living their lives

[dark patio]

Yeah, I’m alright. I was just on my way home from work when it picked up so I’m just reading through.

[wicked jungle]

it's sad to have that toxicity normalized onto a point where you become the fountain of toxins in your own life

[iron escarp]

i mean to me labels arent something i use for other's peoples comfort, i use it to define myself, regardless of if the "microlabels" i have chosen to define myself are seen stupid or not

[wicked jungle]

it's hard to trust yourself or others, so thanks to everybody who always makes sure to say "you're valid" no matter how random or small it might seem, it's alot, it's wonderful

[pure oxide]

Also, it's okay to take a break and not feel like you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, like you're the only one who can teach acceptance or carry yourself forward or validate yourself. It's okay to let others take over for a bit when you're feeling down and out.

[vast jacinth]

also labels can be incredibly important on discussions of ablism

[iron escarp]

i mean there's a reason why i keep myself as actively engaged and educated as i can, because i do not wish to carry on the toxicity that was imposed on me

[wicked jungle]

gosh those who force you to find your labels are exhausting, i'm glad umbrellaterms exist

[pure oxide]

Yeah, if my labels are for others' comfort... I just call myself bi and move on

But I actually, for MYSELF, identify as demisexual panromantic

[iron escarp]

in what sense? i feel like i need a bit more context

[signal hull]

I realized that I'm demiboy or whatever

[vast jacinth]

it's very common for the progressive attitude in communities concerned with sexuality ot see labels as an awkward constraint, but in disabled communities, they're a means of telling society how your needs aren't met by the standards

[iron escarp]

hearing you say that kind of lightens me up(the fact that you found more specific labels like i did that suit you)

[signal hull]

Like homosexual but demisexual? Idk if there's a term for it lolz

[vast jacinth]

so the erasure movements can actually be pretty damaging, as can people wearing medical labels casually

[pure oxide]

demisexual homoromantic?

[wicked jungle]

it's no but, both can co-exist

[pure oxide]

you only have romantic attraction to people of your same gender, but you only want to be sexual with people with whom you have a deep connection?

[sharp iron]

Also neuro-divergent types tend to do better when they have more specific language to label things. At least that's some I've noticed and experienced anyway. I'm asexual panromantic so I can sympathize with them on that front.

[iron escarp]

you are right, i feel this very much(im not physically disabled per se but i do have a bunch of sensory issues and such)

[signal hull]

Oh cool

[wicked jungle]

the ace panromantic gang is growing, wow

[pure oxide]

I think ... people get caught up on "oh there's so many labels, who needs those, blah blah blah" but like... we do.

We need those labels, because when we use them, then other people see them and they go "OH! You're lik eme!"

[wicked jungle]

i wouldve never ever in my life thought to find somebody with a similar attraction kind

[iron escarp]

yeah! like if they dont like the labels they dont have to use them

[pure oxide]

and then they don't feel so fucking alone in their identity, they don't feel like they have to navigate this world with no one to relate to

[wicked jungle]

this community opened my eyes up so aggressively haha

[vast jacinth]

yeah, my priming to it is more from my wife being very clinically dyslexic, since it's a popular self labeled condition it tends to bring a lot of problems up

[pure oxide]

like, the "deeper" labels or more specific ones aren't for the general public or anyone else's benefit but mine and my community's

[signal hull]

It's just the world is more complicated that we're comfortable with. It's a uncomfortable truth. It's hard to understand, especially compared to what you learn as a kid

[pure oxide]

because it helps people in my community find people with whom they connect and can relate to

[wicked jungle]

like i never came out about being ace to my former bestie, i only ever called myself a pan (haha) to avoid scrutiny

but here it like "oh you're ace, highfive sib"

no "oh but"s or "but did you like, try it" and stuff it's truly tearjerking

[dark patio]

I don’t think we should get into the self diagnosis discussion. Those labels are different than the labels people in the queer community use, even if unfortunately both sets of labels get thrown around as insults.

[wicked jungle]

there is no "what's your reason for being that", just "you say that you are that. i respect that and will call you what you want me to call you as"

[iron escarp]

sometimes you just gotta say "you dont like my labels i use for myself? its too damn bad i wont change them from pressure from others

[sharp iron]

I also have ADHD that's been diagnosed since I was little. I'm old so the odds I'm More things is Very High and just before those diagnoseses were common. Because of this I have very.... loose ideas of gender being femme but in a masculine way. So trans man? but not a masculine man? It's.... complicated 🤷‍♂️ because that's life
Yeah, it's been nice finding other ace people online feel less.... broken and Wrong that way. Because it's not Just You it's lots of people.

[vast jacinth]

yeah, I had to come to learn my preferences through which made me more prickly to get close to

[signal hull]

Oof relatable

[vast jacinth]

also true, medical backing on these matters can very easily go to inappropriate appeal to authority fallacies

[pure oxide]

I... am not sure I understand what you mean there.

[iron escarp]

i feel like a lot of neurodivergent folks have a less stagnant approach ot the idea of gender? or at least a somewhat more inherent one

[wicked jungle]

about the "thrown around as insults" i just immediately had to think of this comic:

acceptance is just nice... it's sad how surprising it can be tho

[iron escarp]

because i experience it too, in the sense that i know i'm not a woman but i also dont and probably will never fully connect to the concept of being a man/manhood for several reasons

[dark patio]

Lmao long hair for guys is great

[vast jacinth]

among other things, medical science still popularizing the idea of a sex binary when they edit the data to fit that mold themselves, erasing intersex conditions at birth, they really ought not to be used as an authority as readily as they are

[wicked jungle]

truer words rarely get spoken

[iron escarp]

i wish i could grow long hair again but it still feels too dysphoric to me since strangers/family members would percieve me more feminine if i did let it grow

[signal hull]

I just had my hair cut today 😭

[pure oxide]

I mean, I think you'll find in modern times that those things are changing. And while there should always be a healthy amount of skepticism in all things, I don't think it's fair to say that believing in doctors and scientists is part of the "appeal to authority" fallacy.

[signal hull]

Always wanted long hair too lol

[vast jacinth]

I'd dye mine blue & let it grow long again, but the hairline's receding, just doesn't work as well anymore

[wicked jungle]

whenever i think of the same thing i see my old school pictures where my mom used to dress me as girly as possible and just nope the fuck out ._.

[dark patio]

I have hair down to my ass

[pure oxide]

And many modern practitioners of medicine are shedding the binary and educating themselves.

[sharp iron]

I'm 35. It's only in the last 4 years or so I've realized that my brain very much wants to be masculine, but.... feminine in a masculine way. Soft femmeboi aesthetic makes my brain happy. But now I also have the "Ew old for that" part to deal with in top of the trans one .

My hair is the longest its been since in 10+ years and it's very dysphoria causing so I know the feeling. Maybe if I left the top a little longer and shaved the bottom half off it'd be fine. Undercuts are Rad and just... different and appealing. Without being super dysphoria causing. Theoretically

[iron escarp]

well now im jealous because i never even could have my hair grow longer than shoulder length when i was younger

[pure oxide]

.... literally no one is too old to just be themselves.

[wicked jungle]

maybe try it out via extencions or wig if it breaks after shoulder-length?

[vast jacinth]

sure, I don't mean that, more that the attitude that you should listen to scientists without critical thought & accept what your told is highly unscientific though

[iron escarp]

you really shouldnt have to feel too old to enjoy dressing/presenting in the way you do

[pure oxide]

and there are people who only start being themselves in their 60s, 70s, 80s... for all the things wrong with her, look at Caitlin Jenner

she transitioned in what? her 60s?

[sharp iron]

There's always been a kick back about how you should Dress Your Age. It's ridiculous but A Thing.

[pure oxide]

like... just be you. If you want labels, awesome. If you don't, awesome. If you're already dressing how you want, awesome. If you aren't, and you wanna start? then do it, that's awesome. Like.

[iron escarp]

i mean right now i def wont

[iron escarp]

i mean i know it is but i dress like i got pulled from the victorian era half the time im out of the house so i personally really no longer care that much for how im percieved as weird when i dress the way i like

it was kind of ignorant of me to think that others would have that same experience

[pure oxide]

Fuck that. What does that even mean? People born in the 80s should dress like they're from the 80s? c'mon. I think people should dress in whatever makes them feel most comfortable and fuck everyone else.

[sharp iron]

I bet I'd love your wardrobe then. I love that sort of aesthetic. It's not mine, but it's Gorgeous 🥰 (I've always admired lolitas and other aesthetic styles and have since I was a kid.)

[iron escarp]

i really love ouji fashion but it really isnt accesible for me(i have a bit of an odd body type, the style usually doesnt accomodate it)

[next hornet]

@sharp iron my older sibling is 32 and just realized that they're non-binary. I'm almost 30 and realized earlier this year that I'm pansexual. Sometimes it takes us ages for us to realize our sexuality or gender, and you're neeeeever too old to make that realization! It can be a lifetime journey :)

[iron escarp]

i mean i know i got really lucky with discovering most of my identity pretty much by chance

or at least the experiences of others that put it into words and the labels that just 'fit' kind of the first time around'

[sharp iron]

True, my mum is in her 50s and is realizing she's demi and possibly bi. Never too late to learn.

[next hornet]

@iron escarp I feel that on a real level, I have big hips and I feel like I can't dress masculine at all and it makes me sad. My older sib is blessed with a really thin frame and sometimes I wish I had that

[iron escarp]

like i by chance was following a bunch of trans creators and they talked abt their journeys and experiences and i just went 'hmm' didnt think abt it for a few years and then it suddenly clicked how i felt and what i'd experienced

[wicked jungle]

kinda both awesome and scary to think about that your self-finding journey is never ending

[next hornet]

@sharp iron that's rad!! Your mom sounds awesome. When I came out to my mom, she came out to me too 🤣 it was such a shock and not at all what I expected lol