Crit my storytelling

[faint hawk]

Left to right, idk how discord arranged the pages though

Again the art is kinda bad, I do storyboards like this

[gleaming cairn]

On the first panel when he's receiving the box. The stranger could say something like, "Our condolences." To make it more clear what's in the box, because it could easily be misinterpreted as he received mail or the pills from inside the box. Which I assume encases just her ashes instead

I also don't understand thw first page where. They're taking antidepressants already, but at the end of the page, they're looking at a different brand of antidepressants as if they don't already know what antidepressants fo

Do*

[faint hawk]

Shit I forgot to make them equal

[faint hawk]

Are there good things?

[faint hawk]

True

[gleaming cairn]

Good things?

[faint hawk]

Pros to my storytelling

[gleaming cairn]

Ohhh

[faint hawk]

Can you understand it?

[gleaming cairn]

Yes

His wife died, moment of weakness he tries to use medication as a crutch, and he's looking for stronger drugs to help him cope, he's taken advantage of by devil doctor person, he becomes its slave and doesn't mind because he's desperate for someone or something to replace what sofia meant to him

[faint hawk]

Niceee

[gleaming cairn]

I do enjoy the plot a lot

I would 100% read it if the storytelling was a bit clearer

[faint hawk]

Thanks, i do like writing

[gleaming cairn]

Keep working on it

And my DMs are open if you have more pages done on it :3

[faint hawk]

I actually have more pages to show, albeit not the same plot