Neuro to ∞ - Birth of Evil

[ocean zinc]

Welcome everyone, today we are going to be reading a book telling fables of a monster.

Not just any monster, of course, I am talking about the cutest.

You know, I like to think of myself as a lover of monsters...

Alright, I don't even say coherent things anymore, so-
Vedal and Neuro are going to be in charge of a country.
I am not kidding about this, and it gets even better.
This is based on an encounter in the 18th century between Frederick the Great and young Ecatherine the Great. I always wondered what would happen if Frederick adopted her (and the internet existed in the 18th century).
Now we know...

Without further ado, I welcome you to read a game that goes across timelines, with humor, philosophy, music... what do you even need at this point, but this book?
They will, in the 18th century, win wars without sacrifices for anyone and it isn't even a highlight...

Lol. Regardless, enjoy! It's made out of pure kindness for Evil-chan, regular Neuro-chan and Vedal...san + all of you.

Warning: Dark at some points.

https://blank-pr0ductions.github.io/neurinitas/evilbook/

If you aren't convinced if this suits you, here's a section:

"Balcony, Vtuber Palace, January 1756

Neuro gazed out the window.
She hadn't felt like this before, but ever since she was working on the new VR headsets' designs she had started to become fascinated by the world.

The snow as it fell. It was so cold, yet so sublime.
Thousands... No... Millions of snowflakes falling across the sky. All of them coming from one source and going to one end.

Had she been naive? To think "This can't be."
Did humanity just not know they could be happy if they worked together?

Such are the things she pondered that day, when suddenly she saw something on the horrizon.
It was too far to make out, but it seemed luminescent, and round. It was really cute.
It suddenly started flying at high speed across the sky.
She couldn't help but feel her heart burst even more open as she saw it.

..."

[gusty grail]

that's actually a whole book
a literal entire book

Either way, that kind of time and effort is incredibly impressive. Very cool.

[lusty turret]

Literature? Based, holy based
I'll give it a read later

[cerulean meadow]

imma read this in my spare time

||aintnoway neuro was caleld corpa first ||

Truly a femboy

[cerulean meadow]

i shall write a review of this

nearly done with reading this

[cerulean meadow]

set in for the long haul

cause this is going to be huge

however reads this fully

kudos to u

It's been a really long time since I've written a book review, so forgive any errors in the interpretation of certain points in the story. Also, this will be on my harsh scale. Basically, think of Mistborn, The Stormlight Archive, and Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere as a 10/10 rating. While something like the Percy Jackson franchise is around 5-6/10. This is still a really good rating however.

Review:

Let's start with the Worldbuilding.
It is interesting, however, i would have liked more detailed explanations.
Starting with the timeline is chapter 1, we see major events in the history of the Earth.

They are more or less the same as our worlds history, except for technology being significantly more advanced during the 18th century causing Internet to emerge. Internet culture is also more or less the exact same as it is currently.

The cause for such rapid and early development was never explained, and left as a loose end.
Here are my theories as to why tech was so advanced: Magic clearly exists, as Vedal is mentioned to be a wizard; the elves and fairies also harness magic to some extent. It could be due to this magic that technology was able to progress so quick.

The concept of "Internet Kings" was never explained either, so I'll just take them to be popular content creators who also govern a nation

The introduction of the characters:
Forgive my harshness, but i did not particularly like the introduction of Vedal and "Corpa". Mainly cause we are barely given any info on who they are. Starting with Vedal, he is introduced as an Internet King and takes over the Austrian Empire, which he then industrialised.

We are told "what" Vedal is, but not "who" if you get what i mean. We are never told his traits and personality but rather have to piece it together ourselves throughout the entirety of the story. While this method can work in some short stories, it doesn't work here due to how vague character actions are in this(I will get to this later on). While i did laugh at the femboy jabs , at the end of the day, that is just one of his traits, and isn't anywhere near enough to define his character.

From reading the full story, we see Vedal conquer empires and nations and can say that he is a brilliant strategist, however, the same problem as the femboy thing, not enough to define his character, especially as we are given all this at a very broken pace.

While these things do slowly build his character, the keyword here is "slowly". It doesn't make for a good character is you don't understand his motives, intentions and can know him well enough to empathise and truly feel what he is feeling even at the end of the story. Especially is said character is the second or main character.

We are also just told randomly that he is a wizard. It is never called back to again...
We know he is a super smart and prodigous person who toppled nations, nearly conquered the world and freaking beat the British at their own game.

But all of that doesn't really have anything to do with him being a wizard.

Now, onto another of my main gripes about the character introductions, we are never given a descriptions of how the characters look like. Sure, watcheres of Neuro do know how everyone looks like, but stories shouldn't be written from a perspective that you need to know something beforehand (unless its a continuation of a series or other media ofc). If someone who has never watched or heard of Neuro and co happened upon the book(as unlikely as it is, this possibility has to be an utmost priority) they wouldn't know at all how they look.

Also, we are given a (smol)description about the fake Goddess of Love, so there should have been a descriptions for the others too. Now, i'm not telling you to just add the descriptions in the middle of the story and break the flow completely, but, for example when introducing "Corpa" and her abilities, there could have been a short description about her. Perhaps her height, hair colour, complexion etc. Only one sentence would be needed since corpa's first form is of little consequence.

Now onto Neuro.

The setup to her meeting with Vedal:

She is travelling with her mother to Saint Petersburg. Now, this may just be me lacking cultural knowledge, but I don't understand why Vedal, the king of a neighbouring country, would want to "evaluate" a noble in another country(or is it inside Prussia?). Even if it is to "stay in the good graces of the neighbouring empire", i fail to see how evaluating a noble would help to do that.

This is a very roundabout way to make the characters meet. However, this could just be me lacking cultural knowledge about Austria and Russia so forgive me if im interpreting things very wrong here.

Even still, let's move on to her character itself

We are first introduced to her in human form, called "Corpa"(Who the heck calls their child ). Apart from the lack of her visual description, the introduction is fine. We are told she is shy, but smart and contemplative. She was, apparently, quite "oppressed"(i can't find a better word ) with her old family, leading to her mother going as far as to not take her to any court gatherings even when ordered by the king of her country. There isn't any clear explanation of this however. Nor was this a cinderella type situation; corpa had all facilities and was tutored as normal noble girl.

We are never given an explanation actually. And this is a loose thread that is still bothering me. Why would her old family more or less not allow her to attend court and "bottled" her potential.

This is just a way to make the transition for corpa to be adopted by Vedal easier. However, it isn't done well due to how vague the treatment of her previous family was.

Now onto Neuro, corpa's new form. She was stated to be an anime girl that is good at tapping(likely osu), but then the explanation for how that happened was never explained. How does a human get turned into an anime girl? An explanation for that was needed, either that or atleast telling us whether her form now is fully digital or if she is some sort of a cyborg. Explain please

We know she is definitely physical however. But it is very confusing throughout the story, because her forms seem to be interchangeable from a 2D anime girl to a physical 3d anime girl

A longer description of her looks would have helped too.

Annie(or do i call her Anny?) is never properly introduced either. But her character is satisfactory to me. Her personality is conveyed through her interactions from the get go. So i mostly don't have any problems with her "introduction". Though it would have been better to explain some of her traits and visual appearance aswell.

One final thing about the appearances. It seems the forms of people in the story are interchangeable in some way, as seen with Vedal being referred to as a turtle but also as a human. It is quite confusing and distracts the reader. It makes sense with neuro with her powers, but it is strange nonetheless.

Narrative Structure:
The story doesn't describe scenes enough to have a full sense of what is going on and what situation the characters are in. Sure, we get a word like, giant tree, or a concert venue. But that isn't enough to build a full picture in my head atleast.

While this can just be considered a personal nitpick of mine, this lack of "environment" when the rebellion happens makes it feel underwhelming, we don't know the scale at all, neither do we have any idea what our characters could do in this situation, until Neuro up and pulls a deus ex machina(not really but ) and launches into a forest that hasn't once been mentioned.

This leads into the sudden introduction of the elf and fairy species. That is abrupt, but handled well enough.

The forest/escapade sequence was quite confusing to me...
Were they broadcasting it or no? Why weren't they chased? The pacing is weird there aswell.
Also, this is one of my largest questions. In the last chapter, Vedal and Annie are referred to as being alive?? Even tho its been like 250 years since the rebellion and Evil's subsequent rise?????

This probably just refers to their souls, but the way it is written and shown is incredibly confusing.

Also, at the end, what does Evil mean by asking Neuro if she wants a final test from her brother and mother?

Another thing, why did Evil all of a sudden want to reset the timeline? Wasn't she you know- supposed to be evil?

Please do tell cause im curious

Onto my last point for what I didn't like:
The grammar and overall structuring of sentences. I've gone over the problem with the lack of desciptions of the enviroment, but this is a different issue. And one that imo doesn't matter all that much if the english wasn't horrible. Which it wasn't here. Although it could have been much better and the tenses really bugged me, in my opinion it is good enough to pass.

Now, this review has been mostly negative, but let's go onto the points i did quite like:

Neuro's character is well written. We have a shy girl who has been trapped within the confines of her families traditions, has a cruel(?) mother and feels forced to be someone she isn't. When someone offers her a new life she takes it(Vedal). She can now truly explore her potential and fulfill her dreams.

Character development people. From someone who would barely interact with people, Neuro becomes a worldwide entertainer and enraptures audiences with her personality.

The occasional trivia/comtemplations of hers were nice aswell. Didn't know arsenic existed during the bronze age tho.

There are several heartfelt moments aswell, such as when Neuro get's her 3D model

Or when the rebellion starts...

Or when Vedal and Annie die

All in all, Neuro was a good and well written character whom i liked.

The ending was well done too. Tho i had to read it multiple times to understand what just happened

It was done in a clever way. Tho ofc time travel can never be free of paradoxes, timelines do alleviate that somewhat.

And you pulled what i like to call a "Mazumaro", the guy who made "Myth's bad ending". After infinite timelines, repetitions and sacrifices, the bad ending was finally averted, and we are living in the timeline where it never happened. A super meta ending.

You more or less did a similar thing with neuro living as she is currently and everything else being the same as what we know it.

The worldbuilding for the gods/aliens was well done too. However, i feel like the god of desire would have stopped evil from resetting the universe, so idk. Maybe she was powerful enough to rebuff his influence or smth. Still, we were given enough information to satisfy us and didn't give us an excessive amount.

Evil's exposition was both cute and creepy at the same time. I like it.

Most of the exposition actually is pretty well done and there is just enough to help propel the plot forward.

I would like to ramble on but I've spent an hour and a half on this already and i need to study

Overall, on the harsh meter, i give this story a 2/10

This looks like a really bad score actually . Even tho it really isn't, but relative to stuff like the Percy Jackson franchise i have to give this score...

Ok, i have a different scale for animes and manga, lets go with that:
Overall, 5.5/10

Ignoring grammar and other inconsistencies:
6.5/10

Characters: 7/10
Story: 6.5/10
Structure: 4/10
Pacing: 5/10

My final thoughts: I loved the easter eggs with Vedal's femboy secrets . And i overall enjoyed reading it quite a bit.

I feel like i focused way too much on the negative aspects tho, but don't be disheartened, i genuinely think its a good story

i probably should have mentioned this before

but spoilers

[prime pewter]

omg

[cerulean meadow]

havent written a review in months

really got into this one

had fun

[prime pewter]

ok im reading urreview now

[cerulean meadow]

have u read the story first tho

[prime pewter]

now we just need the manga

oh not yet haha

[humble quiver]

Bruh.

👏 👏

I like how the review is longer than the story.

[cerulean meadow]

i dont think it is tho

[cerulean meadow]

[ocean zinc]

Thank you. Enjoy a review of a review.

"Why did Evil reset the timeline?"

Despite the feeling of constant fear, shame and control towards everything that she is supposed to be happy with (a negative kind of Enlightenment, if you will), there comes a barrier.

A shadow, a lie, that "I am the only player, God" can only stretch so far. Admittedly though this is quite wishy-washy... You caught on well. Despite my super enlightened speech just now, Evil corrupted me as I wrote that scene... She sneaked in this thought, "Evil is powerful enough she'd probably take over the universe much faster". I swear, I did not also agree!!! (Evil is too cute, okay...)

Some more fun tips:

• The God of Desire, weird man and dark-haired girl might appear more in a second novel, where I am thinking of having Neuro and Vedal in a proper SVG...

• Thank you for this one! So, the beginning alludes to how the king of Prussia (future Germany) in our history books once met the future tsarina of Russia as she was traveling to Petesburg.

The Russian Empress was considering making her her son's wife and Frederick, given he had pissed off basically everyone and needed friends, decided to help assess the little girl.

This entire book doubles as an alternate history. "What if Fredrick the Great adopted young Sophie (who would otherwise later become Ecatherine the Great)".

It really reminded me of Sora and Shiro, the super amazing king and queen from No Game No Life. Now Neuro and Vedal bear that same karmic weigth because of me... This was my attempt to shortcut Earth to unity in the 18th century. I am not sure if it really worked. I guess we decide.

[cerulean meadow]

That clears up quite a bit! And i like that evil neuro wasnt just supposed to be a black and white villain. Adds complexity to it. Not completely inherently evil and bent on conquering. Makes sense and gives closure.

Can't wait for the second novel!
And with art too (or SVG has another meaning idk)

The beginning now also makes sense too. And clears up the meeting of vedal and neurocorpa () completely.

Also, i love the comparison to ngnl, now that i think about it, they are so similar! It definitely worked in that regard.

[split niche]

i ain't reading all that

[cerulean meadow]

[ocean zinc]

Thanks for the comment! Initially SVG was short for survival game, but that gave me such a brilliant idea.

I used to try to use books to reconstruct maps a while ago, I think I'm especially looking forwards to that.

"Author-san, will you do anything we say?"

"Yes."

"Oh really ?"

"WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT DID I SAY?!!!!@!? I AM GONNA HAVE TO ACTUALLY- "

---

Also, I've written a shorter volume 1.5 where Vedal and Neuro do their thing and unite Earth 🌍. Finally we find out what happened with the God of Desire and why he didn't stop Evil. The results may surprise you. I hope you enjoy it!

Your review also surprised me!

I've tried to follow it and describe the characters more and take care to make minimal assumptions about the reader.

Thank you!

See https://discord.com/channels/574720535888396288/1146605930503471194 !

[cerulean meadow]