#The Patch Girl

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

lilac wasp
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Any thoughts on my short scary story?
I could use some help making it better.

dense sluice
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Nice

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In my opinion, I loved it

lilac wasp
dense sluice
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She killed it?

lilac wasp
dense sluice
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What was the true ending

lilac wasp
# dense sluice What was the true ending

Clues:
-The girl had a taste for killing and was in need of punishment.
-Then… she met a twin.
-The girl the story began with was wicked, but the one at the end was nice.

dense sluice
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It's 12:07 I'm going to sleep

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I will find this out tomorrow (technically today for me)

robust jacinth
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Hm only thing i can think of is the twin took her place

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not sure though

lilac wasp
robust jacinth
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Ahh nice

robust jacinth
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The grinning pumpkin and the smile at the end gave it away

lilac wasp
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I wanted the story to come across as a typical one — a girl who gets into some trouble, stumbles upon something strange, and makes it back home seemingly fine... but then the final line feels off, just enough to make the reader rethink everything and realize what actually happened.

In this case **"She's been very good ever since." **was meant to contradict the girl's description early on suggesting this isn't the same girl.

lilac wasp
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The Patch Girl V2

dense sluice
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Nice

lilac wasp
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The Patch Girl V5

robust jacinth
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v5?

robust jacinth
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not sure why

lilac wasp
# robust jacinth v5?

My buddy helped refine it further, and then I refined it after that.
This is the latest version.

dense sluice
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I do like V1/V2

robust jacinth
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Yeah same

wet meadow
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V2 is my favorite

robust jacinth
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^

robust jacinth