The Patch Girl | Words Alike | Page 1

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 1:27 AM

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Any thoughts on my short scary story?
I could use some help making it better.

dense sluice Apr 16, 2025, 4:39 AM

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Nice

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In my opinion, I loved it

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 4:56 AM

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dense sluice In my opinion, I loved it

Did you understand the ending?

dense sluice Apr 16, 2025, 4:57 AM

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She killed it?

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 4:57 AM

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dense sluice She killed it?

Hm... I'm going to need to rework it then.

dense sluice Apr 16, 2025, 4:58 AM

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What was the true ending

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 5:01 AM

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dense sluice What was the true ending

Clues:
-The girl had a taste for killing and was in need of punishment.
-Then… she met a twin.
-The girl the story began with was wicked, but the one at the end was nice.

dense sluice Apr 16, 2025, 5:07 AM

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It's 12:07 I'm going to sleep

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I will find this out tomorrow (technically today for me)

robust jacinth Apr 16, 2025, 5:08 AM

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Hm only thing i can think of is the twin took her place

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not sure though

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 5:13 AM

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robust jacinth Hm only thing i can think of is the twin took her place

Yep, that's the twist!
The Pumpkin Girl did something to the original and took her place. Atleast that's the idea.

robust jacinth Apr 16, 2025, 5:14 AM

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Ahh nice

robust jacinth Apr 16, 2025, 5:15 AM

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lilac wasp Yep, that's the twist! The Pumpkin Girl did something to the original and took h...

Personally i think its fine as it is, but if you want instead of reworking you could implement each of those clues into the story itself

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The grinning pumpkin and the smile at the end gave it away

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 5:15 AM

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robust jacinth Personally i think its fine as it is, but if you want instead of reworking you c...

Well the clues are already present there in the story. I just listed them.

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I wanted the story to come across as a typical one — a girl who gets into some trouble, stumbles upon something strange, and makes it back home seemingly fine... but then the final line feels off, just enough to make the reader rethink everything and realize what actually happened.

In this case **"She's been very good ever since." **was meant to contradict the girl's description early on suggesting this isn't the same girl.

lilac wasp Apr 16, 2025, 7:04 AM

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The Patch Girl V2

dense sluice Apr 16, 2025, 11:23 AM

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Nice

lilac wasp Apr 17, 2025, 4:21 AM

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The Patch Girl V5

robust jacinth Apr 17, 2025, 6:13 AM

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v5?

robust jacinth Apr 17, 2025, 6:14 AM

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lilac wasp __The Patch Girl V5__

Gotta say i kind of prefer V1/V2 over this

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not sure why

lilac wasp Apr 17, 2025, 7:30 AM

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robust jacinth v5?

My buddy helped refine it further, and then I refined it after that.
This is the latest version.

dense sluice Apr 17, 2025, 6:25 PM

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I do like V1/V2

robust jacinth Apr 18, 2025, 4:48 AM

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Yeah same

wet meadow Apr 29, 2025, 3:30 PM

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V2 is my favorite

robust jacinth Apr 29, 2025, 3:42 PM

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^

dense sluice Apr 30, 2025, 12:46 PM

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lilac wasp Clues: -The girl had a taste for killing and was in need of punishment. -Then… s...

They Swapped places

robust jacinth Apr 30, 2025, 3:00 PM

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dense sluice They Swapped places

yea i said that

#The Patch Girl