Work I'm progress, I'm planning to do two more chapters, a 6th one and an Epilouge
#A Western HEAVILY inspired by Red Dead Redemption 2, I'm looking for any kind of tips or critiques.
fair pike
weak lava
It's a bit difficult to read a pictures of text...especially if I happen to look at them in the wrong order.
Can you post a Google Doc instead??
fair pike
It's a bit difficult to read a pictures of text...especially if I happen to look...
I could copy and paste it if you'd like
Story -
First Chapter - It's Febuary in North Dakota and the Gang settled in a snowfeild in a clearing surrounded by mountains. Those mountains will later be used against them when a group of Pinkertons find them and try to snipe the Gang from the mountains. Nobody dies in this Chapter. The Chapter name is Heighter.
Second Chapter - It is now April in Colorado and it's a good transition into a more woody area with no snow. The Gang introduced themselves to the local town named Nantuck. The Gang soon realized that there is a strong law presence there, and they have to move fast, but they need money first. They decide to rob the town's bank. This goes surprisingly well, aside from Chris Fischer and Lewis Smith being captured by the Pinkertons and being held in the town. They go back to save Chris and Lewis, but Chris is long gone and Lewis is limping back to the Gang. Lewis said that they're taking Chris to Dirtwater for a trip to the gallows. The Pinkertons sent Lewis to tell the gang that. The Gang decided that they need to head to Alabama, because Chris is part of the Family and they can't make Jenny a widow. The Chapter name is Renton Peak.
Third Chapter -
The Gang goes to Alabama to retrieve Chris. Matthew, Woody, and Micky go to the Gallows and Mickey will shoot the rope Chris is being hung on to save him, and Woody and Matthew are going to cover Chris as they get him back to the camp. When Chris is hung, Mickey doesn't shoot, so Matthew had to shoot the rope and turn the whole thing into a shootout. There are more Pinkertons than the 4 Gang members could see, so they retreat and steal 3 horses, which would become a terrible idea in the future. Turns out those were 3 Show horses that belonged to the Opposing Gang called the Falder Gang. When the 4 Gang members escape the Pinkertons, Matthew confronts Mickey, but Woody protects Mickey. Matthew and Chris feel betrayed by the leader, but remain loyal to him. Soon after, the Pinkertons show up at
their camp and threaten them. The Pinkertons say they only want Woody, and they will let the rest run away and live a life that's worth living. Woody laughs at the Pinkertons and tells them to get lost. The Pinkertons leave with a last threat, that they will hang every last one of the Gang members. Woody comes to the conclusion that they should get moving, using the last remaining money they had. This Chapter is called Widow River.
Chapter 4 -
The Gang runs away from the Pinkertons, so the Gang ends up in the swamps of Louisiana, because it was the closest area to them and it was the shortest trip. The Gang hates it there, and there are a 2 deaths in this Chapter. The first death is because when the Gang is robbing a train to cause a distraction for the lawmen to inspect while the gang runs away, hoever it goes poorly because the lawman find out about this plan and Davy Brooks is shot off and is ran over by a lawman's horse. The second death is because when the Falder Gang gets information of where the Gang is held, they kidnap Angela Evans and hold her hostage and eventually kill her for a point to prove to the Jackson Gang. Woody Jackson is distraught by the death of Davy Brooks and brings Matthew, Micky, Lewis, and Chris to come with him to finish off the Falder Gang. When they all ride there, the Falder Gang was ready and prepared for their arrival, because someone told them. Matthew's horse is shot and it dies, and when that happens, only Chris stops for Matt, while Mickey and Woody ride into the camp further. After Matthew was done mourning the loss of his best companion, he got on Chris's horse to go into camp and kill the Falders. After the mission is successful, Matthew wonders why the Falder Gang knew where they were, but he was stopped mid thought by Mickey, who gave him a glass of water. The Gang needs to move, knowing that everybody knows where they are, probably including the Pinkertons, so they move to Texas using the money they got from the
train robbery. This Chapter is named Withers Hope.
Chapter 5 -
After getting away from Louisiana, they settle in Texas, the nearest town called Sant Ambarina is already suspicious of the Gang, after the Gang rode in as a large group with guns and a lot of money. Sant Ambarina is infected with cholera, and Matthew is getting a little sick, not from seeing the people, but from cholera as he finds out about from the doctor in the farther town, Gendes.
weak lava
Ah! So these are just Author's Notes about what's going to be in each chapter. I thought it was the actual chapters.
weak lava
Got it.
How far have you gotten??
fair pike
The first chapter...
Only a couple sentences in right now.
But I'm looking for any tips or critiques, I'm a new writer after all.
weak lava
Just write down what you'd say to someone if you were telling them the story...you can clean up the ideas and get the proper formatting later...after the ideas are pinned down.
fair pike
Ok, thanks!
Just as a reference, I don't know if you've read the book The Outsiders, but that's the book I'm taking for inspiration during the writing
weak lava
No, I don't think I have, but that shouldn't make a difference to the editing...at least not the detailed editing, maybe the story line. [shrug]
weak lava
Did just you think it was cheesy or did you hear that feedback from others who've read it??
weak lava
I'm not certain that I'd react to one person's opinion...on the other hand, if three out of the four folks in your Critique Group say the same thing, then you might want to keep it in mind.