#The Full Story Arc Of “Meeting.”

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sly garnet
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The characters felt fairly well drawn and distinct -- with the four main ones, I felt like I had a decent understanding of their personalities.

There was also a good amount of description -- in some cases, I felt like there was more than I needed (almost every noun has an adjective), but it helped to visualize the situations and I didn't feel lost or confused about where the action was taking place.

I guess my biggest issue was that it seemed pretty low-stakes and, for lack of a better word, domestic normality. I was going to say that there wasn't really conflict but I think that's not technically true -- Brooklyn's desire to ditch school is conflict, it just didn't seem very important (to him or anyone else).

Brooklyn doesn't want to go to school (and pays $40 to skip it) but when he ends up going anyway, he doesn't act too put out.

When Brenda hits him with her belt, that -- at least -- seemed to be her taking things seriously, but she's talked out of it almost instantly by Kaira and seems fine afterward.

Brooklyn doesn't like getting hit, but he's pretty much fine a paragraph later.

I was thinking that Brenda would miss her online test to take him to school, but that didn't seem to be an issue either (I didn't understand why).

I thought that maybe in part 2, Brenda would read Kaysen the riot act, but she seemed pretty okay with it, responding to the idea that someone (Kaysen) who was old enough to drive was going to conspire with her middle-school kid to lie about ditching school with a "warm smile" directed at the two boys (Is Kaysen a child? I didn't think so, but it was hard for me to get a grip on his age).

Overall, I guess it was less a lack of conflict, that kept me at arm's length and more of me wondering, "if none of these people care about what's happening to them, why should I?"

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Slice of life stuff won't have life-or-death stakes, but the characters have to really care to make things connect with the reader, and ideally they should show it in their actions (rather than just telling the reader 'Bob really cared about that.')

I can see a version of this where it's a lot more engaging with Brooklyn being scared or worried, or whatever, or Brenda being frantic or furious with Kaysen.

I also could see Kaira being extremely upset with Kaysen -- there are all kinds of places where you could put in emotional hooks or beats that might make it connect better and mean more to the reader.

A couple of specific notes where things threw me:

  • sometimes the description seemed a bit out of place or character -- is Brooklyn (a 10-12 year old child) feeling nostalgia upon seeing Kaysen's kitchen? That seemed like a really weird emotion for a kid to feel (and I'm not even sure what was so nostalgic about the kitchen).
  • When Brookly asks about "Chocolate?" I wasn't sure what that was a reference to. Was there chocolate in the car's trunk or something? I was confused
  • Specifying the phone number seemed unnecessary and I wasn't sure if it was supposed to have some specific significance.
  • I assume all of these people are, shall we say, not intended to be role-models, but I assumed that Kaysen was expected to drive Brooklyn to school (I don't think that was explained, so I was slightly confused), but when Kaysen turns out to be completely unreliable, it made me wonder why Brenda would ask someone like that to take her kid to school? It's possible I misunderstood something though.
sly garnet
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Sheesh this novel really got you questioning yourself.
Since I don’t have my charger with me and that I gotta save my battery for other things

sly garnet
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When Brooklyn asked about chocolate, —- when he and Kaysen went places, it was mention that chocolate was put onto the cart by Brooklyn

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In the car, that chocolate has been put into the trunk

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sly garnet
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I can’t explain it right now since I don’t have enough battery to be saying stuff but it makes sense when you think about it

supple ridge
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Could be.

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And, to be clear, I don't know that it's so much a problem as 'this doesn't make sense' as, 'none of these people seem to care about any of this, so why should I?'

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They don't seem to be thinking deeply about any of this, right?

sly garnet
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The conversation was never meant to be taken seriously especially if there was a child nearby that would hear the reckless of the three if so

supple ridge
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which conversation?

sly garnet
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The meeting one

supple ridge
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Throughout the whole story none of them seem to especially care -- the meeting was probably the one where it was most apparent, but in the rest of it they don't seem especially engaged either

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Brooklyn has 1) Lost his $40, 2) is going to be caught by his mom and 3) hit with a belt and 4) go to school, anyway, and on the way there what is his main concern? Chocolate.

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That's not the action of a kid who really cares about what's about to happen, right?

sly garnet
supple ridge
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His mom is taking a (presumably) important work test -- so important she can't take him to school on his first day -- but when it turns out he's ditched, she just drives him without any additional concern for her job of the results

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Sure. I got that there was chocolate. Having that be what he talks about on the way to see his mom indicates he's more concerned with the pretzels than any of the other stuff that has been established

sly garnet
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Those were for the party that Brooklyn never got engaged in because of his whereabouts when Kaira discovered him

supple ridge
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Yeah, I know

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Do you get what I'm telling you about why having Brooklyn ask for the Chocolate on the way to see his mom indicates he doesn't care about the situation he's in?

sly garnet
# supple ridge Do you get what I'm telling you about why having Brooklyn ask for the Chocolate ...

The situation may have been initiated by Brooklyn’s desire to avoid school, as he anticipated a challenging and strict environment that would negatively affect his mood. In an attempt to evade returning home after being in trouble for skipping school, Brooklyn made efforts to persuade Kaira not to take him back to the apartment.

He had intended to use the snacks, including his precious chocolate bar that Kaysen had bought with $40, for a party he was interested in attending that was scheduled for the afternoon. This highlights his eagerness for the event and how he had been planning to make the most of it with the snacks he had acquired but by the help of Kaysen since most of the snacks paid were for the party but the chocolate bars, as Brooklyn put a few in the cart shows his liking for chocolate.

When Kaysen gave him a chocolate bar from the freezer that he had saved for hours after the party, it made Brooklyn happy which tells you chocolate which is recess bar is his favorite candy bar

supple ridge
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Yeah, I got all that

sly garnet
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There’s your answer