vivid phoenix
At 1-page, it's hard to get a strong sense of what's going on or have solidly formed opinions about the work. The prose and the (small bit) of dialog were well written. It read quickly and was easy to follow.
I am also glad you avoided exposition -- if there's going to be too much context or too little, I'd rather have too little!
That said, I felt like there was too little context. and I found I was struggling to get a sense of where this was taking place. A room with bunk-beds (I think), so a group house? And Anne was a bit of a cipher. Is she a child? A young woman? She seemed scared and childlike (and had a 'little' body) but I wasn't sure.
Tom seemed undead (cold-lifeless-looking skin? Fangs on gray flesh) so I assumed this was the vampire farm and these were the vampires (but I wasn't sure).
Getting the level of mystery right in the opening of a story is a difficult thing, especially if the setting is unusual. It's going to mean explaining (dreaded exposition) or throwing novel information at the reader and trusting them to catch up.
I think throw-and-trust is best, but it risks being confusing and hurting reader engagement. I find that when I have to parse sentences very carefully for clues about who I am reading about, where they are, what's happening, why, etc. it takes me out of the emotion and immediacy of the story.
I think -- you can tell me if I got it right -- I was able to follow things correctly, but it didn't leave me with much of a sense of who Anne is or all that engaged with her fear.
On the other hand, your prose worked well and moved quickly. Despite not having much of a sense of the broader scene (I was imagining a somewhat rural group house) I felt like I could easily visualize the individual actions and personal responses.
All this is a LOT of feedback for a few paragraphs of story. I wasn't immediately gripped or emotionally engaged, but I wasn't turned off either. It's a beginning.
eternal nymph