I NEED FEED BACK

[cloud blaze]

this is my first time doing a deeper voice and i need feedback! Id also like to add that professional equipment wasnt used, just my phone (thats why the audio is pretty wack).

[barren oracle]

Hey there, hope your day's goin' well. I'll give my two cents, but first, did you leave a similar 'disclaimer' (for lack of a better word) when you sent the audition itself? Also, do you have the breakdown available for you to copy paste into here? We can hear the choices you're making, but without context, we don't know why they're being made.

[cloud blaze]

Hi! Yes for context, the project is an Arcane Audio Drama and im auditioning for the role for Sevika. Because of that, the lines are directly from the show. I can try my best to give context, but the audition lines were just the lines themselves.
Line 1: She’s exhausted but firm. The team she’s apart of has made too many mistakes. They need to get their act together now.
Line 2: A team member once to give up a member that has a bounty over her head (named Jinx). Despite the character im auditioning (Sevika) for hating Jinx, she refuses to hand her over to the police. In this moment Sevika isn’t necessarily angry at the other team member wanting to give up Jinx, she’s firm in not wanting to rat out someone on their side.
Line 3: She’s frustrated. They need to take action now and the person she’s talking to, her higher up, is incredibly flakey.

I tried my best to give context from memory, sorry that it’s not a lot of information. And to answer ur first question, no i did not

[river bough]

Oh lawdy! Umm... @cloud blaze.... are you aware that you are now level 1? You're getting closer to... um.....
.................

[barren oracle]

Okay, thanks. With that in mind, the first and third are coming through pretty clearly, to my ears, but the second line, I feel could use a bit more intention. Right now, it sounds like on that line, you slip into mimicking the outward expression of the character, without the internal motivation, probably because of some of the subconscious pressure of wanting to step into the shoes of a character/performance you're already familiar with. What is your goal with that line? To intimidate them into concession? To Inspire them to reconsider? To educate them on how you do things here? What impact do you want that to have on whoever it's being said to?

[barren oracle]

Also, if you don't mind sharing, where are you recording? From what I'm hearing, it sounds more like space/mic technique problems than anything out of sorts with the microphone itself. If it was made anytime within the last decade and change, your phone should be good enough in a well-treated space.

[cloud blaze]

I would say to educate. Also tysm for the feedback! Its rlly helpful. I was rlly caught up with trying to sound like her that I completely disregarded putting more emotion/ intent into it

[cloud blaze]

I made it in my room. Would it be better to record in a room with better acoustics?

[barren oracle]

Or to treat the room/the space immediately around you, if possible.

Recently Steven posted this bad boy and I think it's a really useful resource.

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1_FwMUWjovZ_kfsmGHXmc5T5d5Cv1_w5QEPUv2-U7N2s/mobilepresent?slide=id.g11f4ad680f2_0_17

But yeah, the mic is usually not the biggest part of the equation. Hell, just a few days ago, I learned that due to a manufacturing error, a microphone I'd been using for a while was backwards on the inside. I had been booking national and international clients on a backwards microphone, because my space was good enough to cover for me.

And so you know I'm not talking out my butt. Here're two recordings from a while ago that I made on a cellphone that I've had for...eight-to-ten years now. Usually space makes more of a difference.

[cloud blaze]

Omg tysm! Thats REALLY helpful!