venting

[lean schooner]

damn what nice parents you have back home

they were disappointed with my mock exam grades and told me if i repeated the same shit again in my IGCSE i will be disowned and they won't bother spending money to send me to college. I will probably be abandoned at my grandparents house while they migrate to another country, leaving me with no more path since i am just a secondary school graduate and i will need to be working a low wage job to even have the cash to buy food and water

I mean touchwood, but if that happens i might as just end my life. But i don't want to end up like that so i am working hard to improve my grades, mock exams gave me a tough lesson to learn.

also since you said you crammed IGCSE 2 months before the exam, would you mind sharing your grades before your IGCSE and what you got after the IGCSE's? You can preferably do it in dm's of course. 25% of me felt like i won't make it and get at least more than 5A*. I really need motivation because my morale is slowly fading away.

like looking from this current situation, do you think that in 2 months i am able to make it?

my predicted grades from school are terrible

3A* and 5A only...

term 2 report came out like 2 days ago, my mom was pissed

[olive wadi]

I'm sorry to hear that. Ofcourse i cant relate much when mine are so much different than yours , and as much as it would suck , remember that u can always build ur own life all over , u arent at the mercy of ur parents but its their job to make ur life more comfortable and easier. And also from my experience most parents exaggerate consequences to further motivate their kids to study harder , its a bad way of motivating but its motivation thru fear of consequences. So maybe even if u dont get well they wont do those things they said but i wouldnt count on that.
So during IGCSE's i basically only ever did well on Physics , ICT and english at school. During mocks i basically flunked chem , borderline passed bio and only did well on phy ict and eng. I had 6 subjects , Phy Bio Chem Math Eng ICT. I got A's in all subjects except chem which i got C in , and Math which i got B in. But i had 0 guidance so these all like my own way of cramming.

[lean schooner]

if my morale keeps on draining, i don't think i can make it before my IGCSE's to be honest. As I am studying for the IGCSE's in 2 months, this trauma of getting shit in IGCSE's kept on popping.

I blame myself for not studying hard enough in year 10. I thought i was an academically perfect student due to me just excelling the tests which only covers one topic

if i had a time machine i will send myself back to year 10 and this time, approach it with a different way

but i can't, i am bearing the consequences

[olive wadi]

those are really nice grades

im gonna be honest with you

unless ur planning for a top 1% uni like oxford or harvard

dont get so worked up over IGCSE

getting A*s and some A's is perfect

bec ur A Levels matters way way more

[lean schooner]

i am planning to go for a university in the UK, it is in the top 100's.

my mom was planning all of this, she was going to use my mock exam grades to have an early spot in college

it is basically like a branch, the university foundation courses are in my country, but the 3rd year and 4th year of university would require myself to go to the UK

[olive wadi]

Listen we all have things we could of done better , hell i could of studied a part of a chapter instead of typing here , but the point is to never regret ur choices instead u should focus on "what i can do now?" u obviously cant go back so instead focus on what u can do with the time u have left. The best thing is to make a study plan and religiously do it , starting with baby steps and little wins to boost ur confidence

[lean schooner]

university of southampton is the name btw

the branch is located in johor

if not mistaken, it is placed on the 77th place in terms of university rankings

[olive wadi]

I dont know not me nor my parents are so deep into university rankings and getting into top unis so i wouldnt know im going thru the normal route of finishing A Levels

But if you have a clear goal its easier to work for it

[lean schooner]

one thing about it

no my parents weren't joking, they were serious

[olive wadi]

tell yourself infront of a mirror if necessary but keep telling urself u can do it bec u are a great student bec ur smart

u need to negotiate with yourself

well that sucks bec imo thats a terrible way of parenting

but not much u can change

rather try to save urself from that mess

[lean schooner]

they require add maths and 3 sciences to be at least A

but as you know, i fucked chemistry in my mocks and barely passed the borderline grade of A bio and physics

looking at all my friends, i feel ashamed of myself

[olive wadi]

Nah that isnt right way

[lean schooner]

all of them getting A* for sciences

[olive wadi]

its just stupid things ur parents forced on you

[lean schooner]

A* in add maths is difficult cuz yk 92% above

[olive wadi]

grades arent what its all about

[lean schooner]

and one guy in my class did it, he scored 100% in paper 2

[olive wadi]

but if u so have to get good grades u must grind equally

damn

[lean schooner]

i feel stupid and embarrassed

my parents spent money sending me to international school and tuitions

[olive wadi]

you shouldnt , bec ur trying ur best no?

[lean schooner]

only to get such a shit grade

[olive wadi]

are u giving it your all

[lean schooner]

i am doing my best, but i doubt i can change all the sciences and maths to A*

[olive wadi]

bec there is a difference between trying and failing but also not trying and failing

ah thats the problem

you are doubting urself

why cant u?

u are already an A/A* caliber student

[lean schooner]

so far in the 2 weeks i have spent time revising back the topics

i have finish revising physics, i left 1 for chemistry

7 for biology, if i don't get A* idk what to do

i have also printed out pyp, but the thing is i doubt that i can even get A*

[olive wadi]

why are you doubting urself tho

[lean schooner]

that's the issue, the trauma of me failing my IGCSE has been popping out frequently

[olive wadi]

I dunno im a person who always saves his ass last second , its sort of a mental thing

[lean schooner]

i got a C for chemistry in the mock exams, the teacher gave a predicted grade of A* because i do well in small tests that is only covering one topic

[olive wadi]

look

mocks and all are nice

but real exam is what matters most

so instead of treating ur grades in mocks or other things as a failure

take it as a lesson to not repeat it but do better

bec failing is the minimum in the road to success

real failure is when you quit , its when you capitulate

fight till the end and give it ur best , dedicate urself to it

[lean schooner]

my parents so far has been planning me to skip 3 weeks of school. today is the start of the 2nd week of skipping school

because she wants me to revise back all the topics

and she now sits besides me while studying

it is just traumatic, but i don't have the balls to stand up against her

[olive wadi]

it probably wont yield u anything good doing that anyway

[lean schooner]

because she in return, will shove that mock exam grades in return telling me that i had the wrong study method since the start of year 10

[olive wadi]

my advice is to develop a mental state where u are focused into ur goal

you cannot capitulate rn

just keep going and believe in urself more

and if u arent able to do it its never end of the world

really like you can do it

you just need to find ur way , everyone is capable of it

[lean schooner]

anyway sorry for bothering your studies on A2, i just really need someone to talk to that isn't my parents, because what i get in return is mockery and scoldings

i need to find someone that at least shows sign of understanding, and not constantly critising me

@olive wadi i wish in this world there are more people like you, i will dm you next time when i can't take it anymore, it is always this cycle where i cry it out and i am fine, but a few days later i captilate and start to doubt myself

[olive wadi]

dont worry u can always come here or my DMs if u wanna have a nice chat or anything u need , i will never mock or belittle anyone for bad grades or anything like that bec im the king of flunking exams but then making a comeback for real exams

i always try my best to understand everyone

[lean schooner]

🤝

thanks bro, you are the best

[olive wadi]

aww thank you :) , dw you can and will do it , just always remind urself that and ur good to go

[olive wadi]

thank youu :)

🤝

[lean schooner]

👍

[mild compass]

How do y'all calm yourself down when you're really pissed off

[lean schooner]

for me i just blast music at full volume, but i can only do it when my parents aren't home

[mild compass]

Username checks out

[olive wadi]

i have a lot of self control so it naturally goes away but if im realy really mad i actually cry involuntarily its smth my body does on itself , but if im like angry and need to calm down fast i just take a moment inside my head and tell myself to stop

i do it thru self control tbh

but there are methods out there for ppl who cant , like counting to a certain number or something like that

i rely on my self control so i dunno

[kindred stone]

sleep tbh

when you're in emergency or a place where u cant sleep

have someone really cold

like juice or cold water

[mild compass]

Run

Or yeet @ the wall

[mild compass]

Interesting

Thanks for the responses

[river wadi]

someone gave me this advice before:

use a pillow as a punching bag and tie it up against a bed post or whatever

and just slam your fists into it

feels great

and it'll tire you out enough to calm you down

make sure not to get hurt though

[mild compass]

That's a good idea

[stuck mango]

Shout as loud as possible

[kindred stone]

Parents slap him back

[stuck mango]

go at a deserted place and do it

[kindred stone]

Ur house

[stuck mango]

No

[kindred stone]

K we drop the convo

But i had to say somethin

How'd yall focus and not just faint cuz rn im stressing myself to finish the portion the teacher rushed

But i need proper sleep too and i started not sleeping after 12

[hybrid kiln]

I can’t wait to move out

[spark sonnet]

the stress is killing you bro

sometimes u just need to leave schoolwork and focus on urself for a bit, a car with no gas just fucking dies

[kindred stone]

An exam is next month

Im behind portion cuz of the rush

And i got to know my practicals are from next week

And i have a project to complete

[mild compass]

just do physical exertion ye

[river wadi]

sometimes i can't reply to ppl the way they reply to me bc they get too sensitive. like they say some shit which i don't mind too much but if i say something much milder than what they say they get triggered af. If anyone else says it they're v cool, etc but if i say it i'm a "bitch"

i love my life 😎

[royal skiff]

KURISU

https://tenor.com/view/pedrocouri-gif-21706871

[mild compass]

I dont mind

And to be real w you, I don't care if people even bomb the absolute cells out of my living body bc if you're always hurt ab everything. What's the fun

Ofc there should be limits but being a snowflake is L

I see, but what if you can't do any of those things

How'd you control your anger and calm down in that case

[river wadi]

ik you guys are chill and take jokes but some of my old classmates are pissheads and this one dude said he started crying and stuff bc of what i said

and what i said was:

grey and gray are both correct spellings

[real junco]

okay that was too much

[mild compass]

I'm really offended

Cold showers uwu

[kindred stone]

i am sad scientist

[royal skiff]

i am fat scientist

its not coooooooooooooooool

[kindred stone]

T^T

both hot and cold are amazing

[royal skiff]

have SOMEONE? HUH

[fast ingot]

Why tho

Lol

[stuck mango]

It doesn't relate to venting

[fast ingot]

Is venting from amongus?

[stuck mango]

No this channel is a place for you to like express your feelings on something or rage/complain about anything

[fast ingot]

Ohhh so toxicity is allowed?

[stuck mango]

Yup but not too much

[fast ingot]

Okay

[mild compass]

i see...in that case
I FUCKING HATE PT AND DUCK AND EVERY MOD EXCEPT FOR EMINEM. NO ONE TELLS ME THEY LOVE ME 🙏 😔 🔥 💯
It is very UNFAIR AND I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP 😥 😭 💯 🔥 🤜 🤛
I WISH MODS LOVED ME FUCKKKKKKKKKKK ! ! ! 💯 🔥 😩 🤜 🤛

[finite flower]

wow

[stuck mango]

Wow

[finite flower]

i see how it is

[mild compass]

You all never told me you love me

[kindred stone]

what

[tropic hound]

I FUCKING HATE PT AND DUCK AND EVERY MOD EXCEPT FOR EMINEM. NO ONE TELLS ME THEY LOVE ME 🙏 😔 🔥 💯
It is very UNFAIR AND I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP 😥 😭 💯 🔥 🤜 🤛
I WISH MODS LOVED ME FUCKKKKKKKKKKK ! ! ! 💯 🔥 😩 🤜 🤛

[finite flower]

why am i included im not mod anymore

[kindred stone]

@tropic hound @mild compass

@mild compass

stop

i pinged ken ._.

[tropic hound]

ok sorry

but can you say you love me

[kindred stone]

i alr said way back I've loved you more than anything in this world

[mild compass]

First day in college feeling so lost😭

[mild compass]

I love you too maple syrup

[spark sonnet]

1 day rest will not affect the next 29 days

same thing as studying for 2 days instead of 3

can 1 day make a difference? yes but no, you can squeeze it into that time frame

if you dont address this burnout now your entire foundation is going to go to shit my guy

rest

whats with the slowmode

[kindred stone]

Dk

I cant have a days rest till next next week heh

[tropic hound]

studying for a day with enough energy and motivation to actually do it is better than 2 days of grinding burnt out

speaking from experience

[kindred stone]

Agreed

[tropic hound]

a day of rest won't kill your grades, it'll do the opposite

[kindred stone]

I remember concentrating for a whole day for maths

Revised entire syllabus

[tropic hound]

the work you get done and satisfaction you feel from a day of motivated study is unmatched

[kindred stone]

Ken for the first time im grateful

[kindred stone]

And when its ramadan it hits diff

Ik but you spoke something sensible after ages

Well i love chatting a lot and study better with a fren

Better with a friend than with strangers tbh

[stuck mango]

Good Ken tdy

Wdym

Idk

[pastel lark]

guys i lost my passport

help

[stuck mango]

Get a new one from embassy

[pastel lark]

yeah but that will take ages

i hate myself

[pastel lark]

FOUND IT!!!!!

it fell down the back of the cupboard

of all places

[stuck mango]

Glad you found it

[mild compass]

What passport 🛂

😤 🙏

[pastel lark]

the one i lost

then found

[mild compass]

I lost it too

and my flight is in 5 days

[pastel lark]

omg 😖

that's bad

gl finding it

[mild compass]

WHAT DO I DO????!!!

NOOOOOOooooo!!!!

HELP ME

[pastel lark]

look everywhere

under everything

behind everything

check the microwave

check the fridge

[mild compass]

The MICROWAVE?

THE FRIDGE???

[pastel lark]

it might be there

[mild compass]

DO YOU LOVE ME? @pastel lark

[pastel lark]

hmmm

[mild compass]

PLEASE

[pastel lark]

can't say really

[finite flower]

he is tr olling

[mild compass]

Yea my passport is w my mum

she'd never give it to an irresponsible fool like me

[pastel lark]

lol im banned from keeping my own passport now...

[mild compass]

same LMAO

@finite flower I'm vaccinated

But the app won't realize it

And nobody lets me in the malls

[cosmic ginkgo]

It's happened to me twice and I got heart attacks both times

[pastel lark]

my mum was like "WHY DIDNT YOU PUT IT BACK WITH ALL THE OTHERS"

[real junco]

I lost my whole bag with every document in it at the airport

[pastel lark]

nooooo

did you get it back

[real junco]

yes I was travelling alone but luckily there was an uncle with me who reminded me

[cosmic ginkgo]

Well it was a bit too far in the back

[real junco]

so I ran back and it was still there in the middle of the room

[cosmic ginkgo]

And mine didn't even fall behind

[real junco]

that was in Canada

[cosmic ginkgo]

It fell below the last drawer

[real junco]

it would probably be gone forever if it was here

[cosmic ginkgo]

If it was India you'd be screwed

Why are labs so fucking frustrating

We lost data for two resonance curves because my genius lab partner can't find the excel file anymore

And his naming conventions NONEXISTENT

How do you find files if you name them all the fucking samd

[finite flower]

pog

[cosmic ginkgo]

And why would you delete graphs just out a screenshot into a gdoc so it lives somewhere as soon as you have it but jo

Fucks sake

And some of the theory for the experiment hasn't made sense yet, there's no way this lab is gonna bring my average up

After all the shitty first semester grades I really need something to pick it up

And when we tried to do it again we couldn't reproduce it as well for some reason

[river wadi]

that sucks. hope it gets better for you :))

[mild compass]

Thanks🥲

[lament cloud]

Awwww

I love you rixzz

[mild compass]

You won't understand, ... & .., are very different and distinct names

[cosmic ginkgo]

:<

[mild compass]

im so nervous for my m/j exams

[thorn mason]

same 😔

[wintry rampart]

an important thing to know if you want to doing good in examinations is preparation. If you're professors mention to your class that they'll be having an exam, begin to prepare as soon as he mentions it. whenever my professor mentions that my algorithms class would have an exam, I almost immediately begin advance studying concepts that she never taught me, and I eventually was able to score really good. in the examination.

you must also balance your schedule carefully, in a way that balances both your academics and your personal life. I would usually study for up to 3 hours a day straight, and turn my Saturdays and Sundays into a free day for me to explore who I am and relive stress. If you struggle with concepts, your teachers and classmates are always there to lend you a helping hand.

don't obsess over spending an entire day preparing your examinations, as it will stress you even more.

for one dang month...

if it is about the A Levels, don't rely on your teacher to teach you everything you need. You can learn every topic at your own pace, considering that you have around a 2-3 month gap between exam periods.

One big syllabus can be learnt in 2 weeks if you balance things out.

[river wadi]

i went to the basketball court and wanted a break from studying. Four of my "friends" were there playing already so I asked if I could join. They just ignored me. Either they're genuinely deaf or they pretended not to hear 🤡. So i stood there for two minutes to see if they would notice and then just left lmao. Then this one dude felt bad (i think) and called out to ask if i wanted to play while i was walking out of the court exit. I pretended like I had selective deafness and continued walking. yay. i love people more and more everyday

[mild compass]

That's so mean of them):, dw u don't need them anyways 101 pattos

[mild compass]

Ah shit can't explain how many times this has happened and Bruv I just don't ask people shit

Just play w yourself or w random people. they're usually a lot more nicer. Also also ignore your "friends" specifically the ones that ignored you for literally ever. Act like you can't see them, if somehow they're persistent sons of bitches and physically try to get your attention. tell em you dunno em and they should stop touching you or you're calling the cops and filing a sexual harassment case @river wadi

[river wadi]

💀 this is why venting in this server is the best

i will not bother w them anymore though

you're right

i usually don't play with ppl. i finish my training then come home but i wanted to take a break today and they ruined it

[mild compass]

Nah I'd file a sexual harassment case over it to rub it in their faces and ruin their life

Why not

[stuck mango]

Jamal typing a loooong para

[mild compass]

Fuck Whatsapp. Fuck this piece of shit application. Why can't people use discord and fucking Instagram like normal functioning individuals of society. Fuck people and fuck friends. I'm 🔥 💯 🙏 so fucking tired of people's shit , everytime I have to put on a straight face and act like idgaf but bruhhhhh 😭 😭 😭 😔 I do givr a fuck. I give too many fucks that I run out of fucks to give 😥.
But tbh I'm tired of religious people, seriously they ought to shut the fuck up like bruv let me form my own connection with Allah 🙏 😤 💯 ion need your stupid ass to preach the, wait no let me correct it.

Shove the sunnah down my fucking throat.
Also I'm exhausted in every form. Metaphysically, physically mentally, and all other types etc etc 😷 😷
I'm also tired of uncooperative females. Like if you not good then tell me tf is wrong???? What the fuck am I supposed to make of NotHing??? then you fucking shit on me for not giving a fuck like TF AM I SUPPOSED TO CRITICALLY THINK YOUR NOthiNG and be like:

From my hypothesis nothing suggest that you're anxious, depressed, not feeling so well. Hmm yes. 🤨

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK 😭 😭 😭 😭

I'm a human too you know, even I want someone to talk to. Nobody cares about how I feel. I just have to bottle it all up and cry it out in a corner of buttfuck nowhere and then show up everywhere with a swagger / dank memer mood. Nah bruv I'm tired. I just want real people for once and not pathetic nuisances

I'm done 🙏 😤 💯 😱

[river wadi]

i think you should be able to have your own interpretation of god. God is not smthg that is fixed. God is an idea that every individual can interpret differently so dw and take your time and do what you're comf with

also abt the females thing

[mild compass]

😭

Can we do that in dm

no your mom

[river wadi]

for ken or me lol?

[mild compass]

We should form a group

@mild compass @river wadi

[kindred stone]

The hell

[lilac flame]

yo is znotes down for anyone else

i've been trying to look at IGCSE bio notes since last night but the page just won't load

[kindred stone]

Wrong channel but go to #chat-lounge and theres a vid posted rn to get ur roles @lilac flame the notes might be there too

[hollow oyster]

I cant tell it this is a copypasta or not lol

[mild compass]

It's not

[wintry rampart]

whatsapp my ass...

only the Chinese use that shit

to scam people with fake job offers and shit

[real junco]

everyone uses it

[stuck mango]

But it's horrible

[hollow oyster]

I like it

Everything is saved on the phone locally

[olive wadi]

only chinese use whatsapp

chinese have their own social media apps

whatsapp is pretty chill btw it basically does anything i want it to , i dont see a problem with it?

[stuck mango]

Privacy

WhatsApp Privacy is bs

Also WhatsApp calling is straight up horrible

[olive wadi]

If u think we have privacy at all anymore ur still foolish then

any of these big corps can look into our phones and everything at all times

theres no such thing as privacy lmao

And i havent had issues with whatsapp calls yet for past eternity that me and my family has used it

[stuck mango]

I have issues daily with calls

And yes I agree with the privacy part

But WhatsApp collects more data than say signal/telegram/discord

Fun fact: signal was made by the original WhatsApp founders

[lament cloud]

WhatsApp is alright

But yeah terrible privacy

[lament cloud]

Also no

[wintry rampart]

maybe scammers iverall?

[stuck mango]

WhatsApp largest user base is from India

[wintry rampart]

cause when i downloaded whatsapp, i technically get scam texts

[lament cloud]

Ppl in china actually prefer WeChat

[stuck mango]

It's a culture to use WhatsApp in India

Afaik

[lament cloud]

You can get scam texts on discord as well

[lament cloud]

Yes

[wintry rampart]

i get it.

[olive wadi]

Yall should try whatsapp outside of india

its rlly different to what u described

[stuck mango]

I use it outside of India

[olive wadi]

hmm

u guys are first ppl i heard complain abt whatsapp like this

[stuck mango]

Well

Weird

[olive wadi]

Interesting

[stuck mango]

I just WhatsApp for family purposeses

That's it

[olive wadi]

Same + used to use for school

literally no other use for it rn

[wicked turret]

one of the evidence test today - 30 mins from this point

blackouts + covid didnt help me prepare properly

fml

[stuck mango]

@olive wadi also the WhatsApp ui is so fucking different for ios and android

It doesn't even look like the same app

The ui on android is bad

Ios is fine

[stuck mango]

You will do good dw

[wicked turret]

I hope so

I finished 4 papers before this

Finished 3 chapters by self study (still confused slightly about magnetic linkage portion)

Hopefully what I have in my head doesn't fail me

[stuck mango]

Which subject?

[wicked turret]

Physics

[stuck mango]

Ah

[wicked turret]

All chapters except electricity and nuclear physics

[stuck mango]

Gl

[olive wadi]

ahhh dang

i thought its better on android

🥲

[stuck mango]

No

#chat-lounge

[wicked turret]

postponed to the next day

[stuck mango]

https://tenor.com/view/hide-the-pain-harold-gif-10576512

Nice

[wicked turret]

gonna finish both chapter's EOC and move on to doing another paper

[lament cloud]

Rn I just use WhatsApp to contact my family and indian friends

Ppl in Australia barely use WhatsApp

[hollow oyster]

Guess Im Chinease now

Brave Yang

[wintry rampart]

man, i love it when my mother tells me to go to sleep early "just cause i had my booster"

as if she thinks that my body would explode if i didn't sleep "early" with a booster shot

[mild compass]

Bro it's going to boost your chances of your left nut exploding 🤯🤯

[gleaming sable]

bro just go to sleep

[mild compass]

My school has a leadership position that students can take part in and you have to apply to get in. I’d love to do it but I’m looking at the application and a teacher evaluation is required to be accepted. The questions they have to answer are all questions that relate to talking a lot in class and being “loud.” I’ll never get in because I’m quiet/introverted. I regret this year so much, I should’ve formed better connections with the teachers and stuff

The application is due in less than 2 weeks so I don’t have time to fix it

[mild compass]

@mild compass try it

you never know what you can do until you try it

who knows maybe your application will get accepted

People skills are easy to develop. You just gotta practice talking

With other people

And don't overthink it

Talk at your own pace

Try to get comfortable

But don't miss out on the chance to apply. You'll regret it

[rain bridge]

lately i've been feeling more out of school than usual. i just feel like i'm repeating the same thing over and over again. usually, in past years i've felt fine and adjusted to this (and also going to high school alone, spending break times alone etc) but for some reason this year it feels vastly different especially bc as mentioned before i did a similar thing for the first 2 years of high school

each time i go to school, i just really want to leave as soon as i enter (like ik everyone hates school but my dislike for school hasn't reached this level bc as mentioned before, i was indifferent to this)

idk even though i do talk to people now and then (and funny moments/classes happen), i still feel the urge to get out of school and i feel like the only reason/motivation i'm staying in school atm is for the end of the year when i'm finally out of high school and i'm free to do almost whatever i want with almost no responsibilities.

there's probably no point in dropping out now bc in the end i still have exams to take. but if i did, my parents wouldn't have to approve of it.

also, even if i did drop out (like right now, bc my AS credentials are enough to get me into a local uni here, so i could just drop out-take a "gap year" then apply at the end of this year when applications open for me, where applications open in dec after exams are done here-this works differently bc i'm in the south hemisphere), even though i'm heading into a new "stage" in life, i feel like nothing will ever change for me
even if i went to a new place

because i'll probably end up going through a similar thing anyway

which i've kind of accepted but at the same time it's kind of made me wary of growing up (uni just genuinely feels so scary and unknown to me at this point) bc i'm stuck in this really really weird place

where i want to leave high school and grow up, become independent and free of responsibilities, but at the same time i don't want to go to uni and deal with anything

also spent the last 2 years with people i kind of hung out with, i didn't feel close to them bc for me it takes a long time to build up a friendship/relationship where i really feel comfortable with someone irl than online where it's almost unfiltered

i know in the long term talking/writing about this won't help my situation but it does help me get this sort of thing off my back just so it can stop bugging me temporarily

[full flax]

i really wanna talk with people whom i am close with but i dont get topics to talk about everyday and when i dont talk i get deppressed about being on social media everyday but dont actually talk with anyone

[kindred stone]

I feel ya

Sometimes i think

Is it worth having a huge friend circle

Or a small one

I have a decent friend circle

But I'm afraid I'll be forgotten

In addition, i dont take many photos with anyone

I sometimes feel lonely and that makes me less productive as hell

Come to discord to chat but realise i waste time more than getting productive

Ive done everything about my uni stuff so im not worried about it at all

And my exams have a nice gap for me to refresh and study

But i keep thinking

Ill be shifting continents

I wont be able to talk to friends much due to timezones

And I fear being forgotten at times

I know im not a great friend at times

Just feels like making new ones and repeating the process when you grow up

I want to enjoy life but covid restricted my 11th and 12th life so it was bland as hell

I didn't socialize much with my class but am on good terms with most

I'm also stressing myself a lot

Leaving from 8 in the morning and returning home at 10

Then study for whatever with what break and time i have

I don't feel depressed or anything , but man

I just think how friendship is

It'll linger or leave

Once you get married you need to pay more attention to family and your job

I just dont know what im tryna express doe

Maybe just want my friends to know how i feel

Im happy im still in touch with my 6th grade friends

But we'll barely talk one day im sure

Idk man what im feeling

I wanna be lively yet i restrict myself from some activities

Either cuz its due to religious restrictions or something that isnt sensible

Which im not annoyed about but my other friends who dont mind go

And i feel left out

[mild compass]

its normal to feel this way, and you're prob gonna make a whole new set of friends in university anyways

in uni, everyone is in the same boat, looking for new friends

[kindred stone]

hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[stuck mango]

It's normal

It's the way the new normal is

Friends come and go all the time

Don't expect too much from them

There is no 'true' friend if thats what you're looking for

[cosmic ginkgo]

anyone have any ways of taking out anger at yourself?

[astral marsh]

Hi. I have many ways

Those hormones which conclude anger, lasts for about 12 minutes average, as per human study. So what I usually do is, take it all in.

[stuck mango]

Scream, just say random shit, punch something, cry, distract yourself

[cosmic ginkgo]

thats the problem, i have a lecture in like 10 minutes and i need to focus

[river wadi]

probably not a good way for long term stuff but whenever you need to get anger out asap punching a pillow is the best way. Esp if you can tie it to a bed post, etc. It'll tire you out and calm you down. It doesn't hurt anyone (including yourself bc pillows are soft)

[cosmic ginkgo]

Thanks :) I'll do that when I get home

For now I'll just listen to my angry music

[hollow oyster]

fuck chem

[wintry rampart]

for a moment, i thought that i was doing attention seeking behavior, by blurting all my dang thoughts whenever i'm angry, when in reality, i'm not.

what i'd normally do is rant it all out here

even if it makes me look insane

and it prolly worked.

[mild compass]

💯 💯 💯

[wintry rampart]

last time i encountered chem was in 9th grade

[hollow oyster]

chem is the root to all my life problems

[mild compass]

my chemistry teacher is

He's so bad at teaching :(

[astral marsh]

@cosmic ginkgo yeah just casually ignore me, like I did nothing to help

[hidden roost]

Okay so I was having a physics class and I wasn’t able to answer a very simple question. He asked me what the nature of an electromagnetic wave was. I went pretty blank and my teacher went mad at me because we were studying polarization and my basics are supposed to be really strong and he said that none of my basics were strong and also guessing that it applies to all the other chapters too. He was expecting my answer as ‘transverse waves’ and in my brain I was like ‘wait I knew this all along so why couldn’t I answer it. It was so fucking easy’ and then I thought alright maybe I don’t know, maybe if the question was phrased in a much much simpler way maybe I could’ve answered it like what type of a wave or something. Not sure if I’m making any sense. Anyway, so he like got so mad and was telling me to throw my past papers away (since I was solving them as well as studying notes) and told me to read the textbook properly instead. Then he was like ‘I’m sorry for being rude but you need to hear this’. (My exams are in May btw and it’s been a month I started to study. I gave my exams last session ~got a bad grade~ so past papers wasn’t really a big deal for me since I was just trying and practicing them out) So alright. He’s a teacher. Maybe he has the right to be mad I don’t know.

In my personal opinion it’s been bothering me ever since because I like studying in my own pace. I know where I lack. I know where I’m not strong enough. I like studying in my own pace. I didn’t want to have any tutors for me and wanted to self-study but I’m only taking it for the sake of my parents since they’ve been bugging me about it. I know I’ve got a short amount of time but I also know at the end I’ll be able to pull it off. I’m actually really slow at understanding and extremely dumb so it takes a lot of time for me. But like deep inside, it’s like a feeling that yeah at the end I know I’ve got it and I’ll manage to cover everything up. It just takes me time. I shared this with a friend of mine and he said that teachers are mentors and not to take it to heart whatever they say. Maybe I’ve been feeling like this because I’m not used to teachers being mad at me? I’m having tutors after like 2-3 years.

I have a class with him tomorrow and I’ve been anxious ever since. I’ll be clearing out a sub-topic so if he asks me questions anything related to that or any basics, I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer it again and go blank because I know I’m still not even 50% confident yet on this chapter. It’s going to take me a lot of time and practice to easily answer like a smart ass or I don’t know really

I never had anxiety before but I’ve been experiencing it since before I gave my exams last October.

[astral marsh]

You lack confidence, that’s all. It’s one of those feeling where you know everything, but you try to overthink, which leads to a massive frustration

My advice, well in this world, we all really care about ourselves, and don’t give a shit to anyone.

Sure if you commit something embarrassing, the people will laugh and will forget it by the end of the day

Unless if you get bullied, that’s a completely different case

@hidden roost

[hidden roost]

I do agree on this. I lack a lot of confidence.

I don’t know. In the morning, I was like fuck it. Get over it. I mean as long as you ace in your finals is what matters the most so don’t give a shit about all these.

[opal prism]

I don’t think she did that on purpose

[hidden roost]

Yet I’m “still” very anxious about all of it

I feel so dumb and shit overall. Academically and well everything else.

It was great venting it all out 😣

[astral marsh]

Asked?

[hollow oyster]

🤡 ?

[opal prism]

L😭

[icy basin]

Hello everyone. I hope you’re having a great day.
I just want some help. I have a problem. Till now, every exam I’ve had, I haven’t studied for it at all. All I’ve done is stare at the material until I get distracted by my phone and stuff. Nothing seems to be working, if I switch all my devices off, I just stare at random things around me until there’s no time left to study. I was getting good marks too, so it wasn’t really a big deal. But now, with a week left for my mocks, I’m panicking and trying so many different ways to focus and I just can’t. Nothings working. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and don’t know what to do and how to concentrate again. My attention span is ruined, even during class I can barely focus and I’m just really tired at this point. Can someone please help me?

[eager blaze]

youre not alone on this one
thats exactly me rn

how many weeks left till the final exam for you

[hollow oyster]

again

fuck chem

[olive wadi]

Asses the amount of stuff u need to revise/study and fit as much as u can into ur time frame and remove every single bit of distraction

whenever u even think of looking away from ur book or whatever , tell ur mind to come back and that u need it to focus

u dont rlly have full control over ur mind so u need to force it or negotiate with it

delete any sort of distractions u have , or just put ur phone in another room away from ur sight and hands reach and anything else that distracts u

I recommend 45-50min study and 10 mins break as a routine but ofc its upto u on how to do it

[cosmic ginkgo]

try to set small goals that you can accomplish within an hour

and check them off as you do

[olive wadi]

^ small achievable goals will boost ur confidence and motivation a lot bec of the sense of accomplishment

[stuck mango]

In addition, set small rewards when you complete those tasks

[cosmic ginkgo]

and remember you can get through this

but first most importantly, try to reduce your panic levels because you cant be very productive when you're panicky

[stuck mango]

Might help 😂

[icy basin]

One week 🥲 and I’ve barely started studying because I can’t. I left my phone and laptop and all my other devices in my parents’ room so I don’t get distracted and now I just have a headache and I didn’t retain any of what I’ve read. It’s been over 3 hours.

[eager blaze]

Are these mocks for the final exam🥺

[icy basin]

yea. We have 3 terms at my school but because of the externals we only have 2 and these marks will be counted as the official externals, and 3 school quizzes that we have each term including the final 🥺😭

Basically, Cambridge students at my school don’t have to come the third term but it’s a ministry requirement to conduct the quizzes and stuff so these mocks will be used as the final grade for 4 exams basically, a final, the official mock and 2 quizzes.

[icy basin]

thank you so much for replying! I really appreciate your time I’ve tried all of those methods and they don’t work for me bestie 😭

[icy basin]

Thanks for ur time and energy bestie 😭 I appreciate it

[icy basin]

Thank you 😭 for the effort sis 😭

[icy basin]

Thank u 4 ur time too bestie 😭

Thank you all so much for ur time and energy 🥲🤍

[eager blaze]

Oh I get it

I've got my final A level exams in may June and I haven't been reading for shit

Trying to come up with 6 week plan that I'm trying to follow religiously 🙏🏾🥺

[icy basin]

well good luck to you 😭

[opal prism]

What’s that channel

Productivity

[eager blaze]

thanks i really need 😭

[hollow oyster]

Last time

But fuck chemistry

[kindred stone]

Yes

[glacial raven]

feel like a/ls is eating away my life

[opal prism]

How so?

[mild compass]

anybody got ways to stop procastinating

[stuck mango]

That's the hardest thing

[glacial raven]

cuz I feel like it's not worth anything at this point

[brazen ice]

Why??

[mild compass]

cuz i keep procastinating like i woke up at 10am

wait no 9am

then said i will start at 10am doing pyp

then that became

11

12

1

2

until it became 3

[olive wadi]

start doing something even if its a small task , do more and more step by step

u just need to force urself to start, then keep going

[hollow oyster]

Physics ❤️

Fuck chemistry

Again fuck chem

[stuck mango]

Lol

[soft jungle]

When I'm close to my period, I become so incredibly angry at everything and I become such a hateful person. I freak out and get angry at every little thing and I can't control what I say. For eg. today I found out my chem teacher is including our entire syllabus for mock exams BUT he literally went through the carbonyl chapter in 1 hour. We completed it last friday. He doesn't really explain anything and gives us videos to watch and he refuses to reduce the syllabus. Idk I was so annoying I said "i'm stressed thank you mr fucking [insert name]" obv not to him but to classmates and I feel so shit about it. Keep in mind they told us yesterday that our mocks are in 1 and a half week and we're not doing physical exams. The rules are diff. teachers set paper and cambridge examiners correct thetm. He refuses to reduce the syllabus.

idk ive become such a hateful, disrespectful person over the past few days and I hate it so much and i can tell im losing respect of my classmates as well

idk how to even communicate with ppl. physical school started last week mon. everyone manages to talk so smoothly but i just cannot. i hate how stressed i am (im taking 5 as levels) and i don't know how to handle it

[balmy frigate]

I'm a guy so I can't relate with the period thing. But when I'm angry, I find it very helpful to take time out, take deep breaths, and recall all the things I'm grateful to have (e.g. I always have enough money to buy delicious food)

[soft jungle]

thanks ill try it out

[cosmic ginkgo]

Don't be too harsh on yourself, I get a shitton of mood swings the week before my period too. And for the most part, I never understand them, can't justify them and don't know how to stop them either

Like MDragon said, try to find things you're grateful for, or positive aspects of yourself, or something nice that happened recently, even if it's as small as getting chocolate

It doesn't make you a bad person, you will get through this

[mild compass]

Same my mock exam for biology is in less than 15 days and we havent even flippin finished the syllabus but its based on the entire syllbus

[soft jungle]

omg that sucks, lmk if you need my notes cause im done

[soft jungle]

thank you : )

[cosmic ginkgo]

but i would say try to divert the anger into workable energy, once youve released most of the frustration

bc if things wont change, you're better off preparing yourself for it

[soft jungle]

yeah im going through a boat load of chem videos rn T-T

[cosmic ginkgo]

Good luck! You got this, take it one day at a time 💖

Ask in chem channels for help, there are lots of people willing to help

[tidal sable]

I sorta drifted apart with my close friend of 7 years bcs I didn't reply to her message nor did I start a conversation with her for a while. I was stressed from exams and pretty much burnt out from studying since I'll have to focus on AS and A2 syllabus in the same year. I kinda just wanted to be left alone for that period of time. After my exams ended, I did tell her I was stressed and that it wasn't her fault I didn't talk to her but our friendship became pretty much awkward after that and if she's mad at me, I get it. Ik friends come and go but I still feel bad for not replying to her. She didn't deserve to be ignored like that and I don't know how to apologize to her without it sounding like an excuse.

[forest pivot]

Can you try meeting her? If you explain it properly with stuff like how your friendship has been there for a long while how much of an impotent part it is of both your life, we shouldn't let it end over this thing, ik I was wrong to ignore you and I can't apologise enough for it

But letting it ruin the friendship we've had for so many years would just be wrong

[hollow oyster]

Fuck chemistry, fuck unis requiring it, fuck Cambridge for making the sub hard, fuck Avagardo and his number.

[tidal sable]

I actually met her last week to celebrate a friend's birthday and it was awkward... None of us said anything to each other so maybe not... Probably texting is a better option but it might come off as less sincere...? ):

[opal prism]

What do you wanna do at university btw?

[hollow oyster]

Data Sciences....

For some reason every uni in Canada is asking for Chem

Everyone who I talked to said that I need AL Chem

Its the stupidest thing

[opal prism]

Is that what the course then?

[opal prism]

Wait are you doing AL chem right now

[hollow oyster]

Yeah its just CS and Math and Stats

[hollow oyster]

no no, I took chem at AS

but I suck at it

compared to other subs

[opal prism]

@hollow oyster look at UK universities requirement they don’t require A-level chemistry btw

[opal prism]

I am surprised they are asking for chemistry btw

[hollow oyster]

Me too

I know 3 people who take CS in canada and they all had to take AL Chem

[opal prism]

Look at other countries

You would like to study abroad in

Like for example : UK, USA or Australia

New Zealand

[hollow oyster]

Cant, its either Canada or Pakistan, because my uncle lives there

I would rather take uni chem than to study in Pakistan

[opal prism]

@hollow oyster what’s wrong with Pakistan is the education not good there or something

[forest pivot]

How close was your friendship?

[stuck mango]

Chem is required for a lotta stuff

[hollow oyster]

From what I hear, degrees from Pakistan are not valued that much

[opal prism]

@forest pivot what did you do 💀

Go to dms

[hollow oyster]

Most successful people from my family who went outside after uni had to get a degree again

[opal prism]

I need to ask you something

[hollow oyster]

Me?

[tidal sable]

Pretty close I'd say, used to talk to her everyday and I was in the same class as her for a few years

[forest pivot]

Idk I just feel like if not meeting a call would be better

You both are likely to express more of your feelings that way than in text

[kindred stone]

sam eguy who got rejected on meets

[kindred stone]

yea i'm having a similar issue rn

my preds for maths weren't great but i made up for it by getting a 90 in maths ( preds were before preboards)

and uni is like my math is weak so they aren't giving me pos for cs

[tidal sable]

Yeah that's true I guess, I'll just find a day to do that.. Thanks for the advice btw!

[forest pivot]

If you want, just try and make a list of all the things you'd like to tell her

It'll help reduce the anxiety and nervousnes

[soft jungle]

you could try india cause its close by to pak

[hollow oyster]

💀

[mild compass]

Why

[hollow oyster]

Too much competition there

[mild compass]

Oh

[hollow oyster]

The struggle there is real

I had a discord friend from India

Oooof

[opal prism]

@hollow oyster why don’t you try ... UAE

[hollow oyster]

He told me about how hard they have to work

[hollow oyster]

Lol doesnt matter

I want to go to Canada

S N O W

Who cares if I need to take chem

Still gonna vent everyday tho lol

[real junco]

join us

[hollow oyster]

You going?

[real junco]

got accepted but I haven't decided yet

[hollow oyster]

Nice

Waiting for you

We’ll make milo flavored ramen

[soft jungle]

My best friends dad is in the ICU and he might die. How do I support him? Whenever I ask him if he’s okay he says I dunno. Idk what to do. He’s in another country btw

I’m texting with him rn I have no clue what to do

[stuck mango]

Tbh in this condition its best to leave them alone

[opal prism]

Leave them alone I guess

[tropic hound]

let them know you're there for them and thinking about them

don't leave them blank

[soft jungle]

Yeah

Okay

I’ve done that

[tropic hound]

they don't want to talk right now and that's understandable

[opal prism]

Yeah that works as well

[tropic hound]

Don't leave them alone tho that is a terrible suggestion

[stuck mango]

Just reassure and leave alone

[tropic hound]

they don't want to talk but they don't want to be left alone

[stuck mango]

Bro ik someone who lost some close one and all they wanted was privacy

[tropic hound]

keep letting them know you're thinking about them, asking for updates, if you're religious let them know you're praying for them

[soft jungle]

Alrighty I’ll do that

[tropic hound]

everyone's different plat

[north karma]

Privacy is cool but leave what u want to say there

[soft jungle]

He keeps saying that they tried their best but it wasn’t enough

[north karma]

If they do not respond or say will talk later

[soft jungle]

I’ve already said we can’t control what happens

[north karma]

Then give them their space

[stuck mango]

True

[soft jungle]

But he’s saying again so im not sure how to support them

[soft jungle]

Yepp okie

[north karma]

Nobody can and shouldnt expect yk to know how they feel

[stuck mango]

Yea

[soft jungle]

Thanks guys

[stuck mango]

Like don't expect them to reply soon

Ig

[north karma]

Its cool feel free to ping whenever ya need sth

[soft jungle]

Thanks : )

[soft jungle]

Yepp

[cosmic ginkgo]

Is the person religious?

[soft jungle]

Not very but a little

[cosmic ginkgo]

Offer to pray for them everyday, tell them your family is praying too

[soft jungle]

Alrighty

Thanks for tips

[cosmic ginkgo]

I'm not sure how recently he got to the ICU but if he's over the initial shock, then maybe offer to watch a movie or something?

[soft jungle]

Yee ofc I will every night

[cosmic ginkgo]

Something that will distract from all the beeping in the ICU

[soft jungle]

His father was sick last few days and was admitted tdy

[cosmic ginkgo]

Or send him some music that is calming

[soft jungle]

Ooh yeah

Okie

[cosmic ginkgo]

You can tell him every time you listen to it you think of him

[soft jungle]

Okie

[cosmic ginkgo]

You could make a playlist too

[soft jungle]

Yess I’m doing that rn

Thanks so much

[cosmic ginkgo]

No prob at all ❤️ take care of yourself too

[thin widget]

gl

[hollow oyster]

fuck chem

🖕🏽

I forget everything the next day

[fast ingot]

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK it too

[mild compass]

I always feel sleepy

[kindred stone]

u eating well?

[mild compass]

not really

But even when I do I'm still sleepy

[kindred stone]

yea

there's ur issue

one of them

not a proper and no balanced diet

[pastel lark]

sorry to barge into the convo but if it's been going on for a while maybe see a doctor

[kindred stone]

wrecks ur sleep

It's been happing to me for months now

[pastel lark]

deficiencies in certain vitamins can make you really tired

like low iron, low vit D etc

[kindred stone]

yep

[pastel lark]

also some genetic disorders like hypothyroidism

worth getting it checked

[kindred stone]

yea check it out

and please eat properly

i made my mistake

or not eating properly and getting a least some physical activity

[mild compass]

yeah it might be one of the problems affecting my sleep

Because I've lost my appetite for around six months

and because of it I've lost around 7kg

[tranquil stag]

bro my mind isn't comprehending that i have exams in less than two months

i feel pretty unprepared

just international gcses but still

[tranquil stag]

sorry to interrupt your convo, but yeah that's not really healthy. if you're concerned, please seek some medical help. the sooner, the better – and i'm really talking out of personal experience here, listen to your body when something's wrong

[mild compass]

Ok thanks for telling me, ye maybe ill see a doctor if thinhmgs get worse or smth

[tranquil stag]

yeah you should if you feel concerned, i'm not gonna force you to see one bc it's your body but yeah, make sure to eat properly & balanced meals and drink lots of water too!

[pastel lark]

tfw you write an entire section of notes...and forget to press save...

[royal skiff]

i said something insensitive about my friend whose sister died

context: someone without a sister whi trolls a lot wrote "i love my sister" in general chat

out of the blue

so i thought he was teasing my friend

guess i deserve it for being negative

[balmy frigate]

just apologise one more time and explain that you thought he was trolling

it doesn't matter whether other people like you or not. You can't control that. All you can control is your own actions

[eager ore]

I have mocks this week and cies in 40ish days. No one really cares. So many days where I gotta go out for dumbest shit and my whole day gets wasted. I just want to be left alone and let me do my shit

There’s so many distractions

And “It’s just a day” these days are adding up. I get if it’s just 1 or 2 days but I’ve missed at least a weeks worth

[stuck mango]

Same situation tbh my mocks finished and finals in May and I am not prepared at all

[olive wadi]

Same bro i keep saying "ah its just for today" but a week or two later i see i wasted so much time , i think its best to lean onto ur strengths and get as much as done as possible

battling away and trying to not remember the fact that u wasted a lot of time + could of done so much better is key

otherwise it just wears down ur mental , happened to me recently

now i just put my head down , get my shit done , tryna not to think about these

[eager ore]

I prolly worded it wrong but what I mean is things that are not up to me is affecting my prep. Countless days where I have to go out for some event. I’d rather stay at home and utilise my time cause I’m not gonna do anything there anyways

[stuck mango]

Ah family distractions I see

[eager ore]

Yea

[stuck mango]

Explain them your situation ig

[opal prism]

@eager ore what subjects do you take ?

You are in your final year right

[eager ore]

Yes

[eager ore]

Thing is my grandfather forces me to go and no one’s disagrees with him cause everyone’s scared to say anything and I’m not allowed to speak up for mysef

[stuck mango]

Ah

[eager ore]

Todays my last straw on god, I’m bout to tell everyone to just leave me alone

[eager ore]

A2 phy math and AS chem for May June

[opal prism]

Wait why do you only take 2A2 subjects this year ? Also are you gonna to take chemistry to A2 next academic year

[eager ore]

I’ll finish A2 chem in October with AS English. Then gap year

[opal prism]

Wait didn’t you take computer science AS?

[eager ore]

I was thinking about it

That’s why I have the role

But I didn’t, if you want to talk about this then let’s go to #chat-lounge

[wintry rampart]

man... why am i making myself look like an outcast to my classes?

i can't stop blaming myself for being so silent and enigmatic...

i honestly don't want to look like an idiot in front of others, when my expectations on who i am supposed to be on society is too damn high (serious, no jokes and technically being a fucking bystander)

[mild compass]

https://youtu.be/BkLzo_oNVho :)

[wintry rampart]

when in reality, i look like one.

cause i rarely speak as i do not want to feel the rejection i could get

[mild compass]

Would recommend watching this

[wintry rampart]

this would be useful.

[wintry rampart]

and now i am starting to be less defeatist and actually accountable, to become a better person

[mild compass]

Jsjebebdjf bfjfnfndmkdkr fb

Why does the infectious diseases chapter have to be so long

There's so much to memorise

[tranquil stag]

same bro, i feel so unprepared

and i'm PISSED OFF at my school for letting me know two months ago that in may, i won't have my hebrew language exam

the only subject i can easily get an A is cancelled

now i only do 7 iGCSEs, kinda annoying bc i wanted to do 8

[tidal sable]

I feel u man 😔 esp the evaluation questions of graphs in p2

[soft jungle]

Omg those questions are so annoying and so long I hate it

[mild compass]

I don't really mind the questions, they're alright for me,its just that there's so much to memorise 😭 I can't-

[real junco]

A2 is even better

[royal skiff]

ok ill try

[celest mist]

try to negotiate, tell them that you are trying to achieve high marks and in order to do so, you need not be distracted from work, at least until your A-levels finish
try to get a time set for studies, (even 3 hours a day can do wonders) and tell them this

[balmy frigate]

hope it goes well!

[wintry rampart]

ugh... i'll have to thank my fucking mother for turning me into this "obedient, silent waste of space", and now i feel like i'm fully suppressed by her

and controlled by her

'when can i just call the cops onher

for this fucking control

i'm at the age of 20, and she puts me to sleep like a fucking 2nd grader

"go to bed. it's about to be fucking 12 am. you're body's gonna fucking kill itself if you do not do so/you'll prolly be sleeping during your fucking classes"

boy, am i lucky to be with that miserable life

where i think that i am the one who suffers the most

even more than the drunks and drug addicts

why am i thinking this way???

[mild compass]

@wintry rampart move out if you can you are already over 18, or stay at dorm?? Just have some time away from your mom. It sounds like a toxic environment, I think she has negative effects on your mental heath...

[wintry rampart]

it actually isn't that toxic, but a bit too overprotective. she technically is okay with me doing what i want

but what actually irritates me is that sleep schedule stuff she tells me

i don't think that this would be a good reason to move out.

cause the past was already the past

and that i'm open to learning from it

rather than evade her\

[royal skiff]

man gave himself advice 💀

[mild compass]

Well if you are only annoyed at her for telling you to sleep idk...
Sleep is important regardless of age so it's good that she makes sleep on time... and prevents you doing stupid shit at night...🤷‍♀️

[wintry rampart]

well hey, at least i'm not staying too late at night, drinking out, or further dissociating myself from reality

[stuck mango]

Ugh I just want to like not go school and prepare for may/June since school is basically wasting time as its mostly revision ahhhhhhh

[lament cloud]

Schools usually give the option of self study between mocks and finals right?

[finite flower]

can you not bunk school?

[stuck mango]

So I have to go this week and next week then 2 weeks holiday then you can take leave afaik

[finite flower]

thats what i used to do

only went to school when i had doubts

[lament cloud]

Yeah

[stuck mango]

Attendance is key in school graduation lol

[lament cloud]

Damn

[finite flower]

i mean surely ur attendance is above 50% now

[stuck mango]

Let's see

[finite flower]

u attended for most of the year right

?

[stuck mango]

Yes

[finite flower]

bunking for a few weeks wont matter

[stuck mango]

Only like 4 days off

[finite flower]

yea then

[stuck mango]

Ty for advice I'll see what I can do

[opal prism]

Not a good advice

😬

Bunking for even a week can bump your attendance to 90%

If he misses 3-4weeks his attendance will be less than 86%

[mild compass]

Can't ventt my ex friend is heree 🗿

[thin widget]

Does attendance matter that much?

why does it matter if its above 70%

[soft jungle]

some schools require a min attendance to graduate

[thin widget]

wat dafaq

[magic narwhal]

yeah my college's code of conduct stated this but regardless of that i skip classes everyday lmao

[stuck mango]

Yes

[river wadi]

bruuuhhhh sameeeee. not ex friend but some ppl ik

it sucks i feel you 😭

my dms are open to you tho if you still need to vent

and i found more servers for venting, etc so ppl wouldn't see here loll

I can share if you want

[mild compass]

Ahh thank youu

[wintry rampart]

oh well... here's another pointless rant about my mother

she always thinks that on weekends, i should wake up at around 10 am or something

i woke up at 6:30 am today, cause my feet was cold

and all she said when she knew i woke up at that time, she got mad at me

and questioned me why i woke up so early

i don't understand how she "controls" my sleep schedule

i might have to buy sleeping pills to satisfy her overbearing demands

she has no right to tell me what time i wake up at

and yet, she blames me for ruining her sleep schedule???

what a fucking idiot

[river wadi]

relax maybe she just wants you to get good sleep. My mum does the opposite. Even on weekends she wants me up before 6 and it doesn't matter when I sleep. You can maybe just tell her that you're sleeping well and not to worry

[wintry rampart]

i know. the reason on why i actually woke up so early today was not only cause fo my cold feet, but i was also excited to see what Forza Horizon 5's upcoming update would add.

[sharp cloak]

parents and child relations ships are a very on the fence thing , but best advice i can say is even if it inst ur mistake just apologise and say youll do better , and be as patient as possible , and it sounds maddening its because it is but trust me apply it to your life at this age and youll be happy

happier and more at ease of peace of mind

[wintry rampart]

i technically ignored the harsh part of her scoldings

as i may have took these insults a bit too seriously

yet, i feel patient towards her a lot

[wintry rampart]

i do not know what's in her head, but it's as if she thinks that a day is a day. when the clock hits midnight, she'll think that you did not sleep for at least one minute in a day.

but i'll have to cope and obey to be a good son

[full flax]

because thats what heroes do

[wintry rampart]

obedience is better than being a rebel tbf unless you're doing the right thing, if you choose to rebel

i tried that before and the results were harsh

when my little brother became victim to a hacker/pedophile, i wanted to get the local authorities (the NBI, the philippine equivalent of the FBI), despite my mom's refusal, in fear of me being "interrogated like what they do in the movies"

and i was yelled at.
"josh, don't get the nbi involved".
"josh, the dumbass school will do the investigation"

when in reality, even the school being targeted wasn't even genuinely prepared. they still used gmail accounts instead of said school having its own mailing system

anyways, i better not talk about this crap, as this will for sure give me ptsd

[river wadi]

i'm sorry that you went through that bro :(

[wintry rampart]

don't mention it. at least i did the right thing, without ever harming my brother for "taking accountability"

anyways, i've got another problem to ramble about.

i've lately been "replaced" by someone else by a former group i had last term and i feel betrayed

cause i wasn't able to ask said members before the first day of class if i wanna work with them again

now i've got to lead 2 other dudes

who i do not know

i can't stop thinking about it, to a point where i am starting to hate my class

what should i do?

[wintry rampart]

thisnis all my fault...

if i had agreed to work withnone of my classmates in said class before day 1, this would have been a different situation

[mild compass]

💀

[river wadi]

try to make the best of your situation ig

Your situation does suck

but maybe try enjoying it

[wintry rampart]

at least i got the chance to show how flexible i can be when it comes to groupworks

by actually working with others

that i have never worked with before

[wintry rampart]

thank god

[wintry rampart]

yeah... seeing your friends work with each other and you with other people you don't know...

tbf, it surely is my fault for not engaging with them

so i might as well at least feel all the rumination

and releasing it

at least i do not get to blame others for not coming to me

cause if that's the case, i'd be a big jerk

[wintry rampart]

although i would feel flexible on the long term, the short term consequence is to work with others that i've never work with, considering that i have trust issues

[wintry rampart]

i just didn't know that i woukd feel like this all of a sudden when i'm really making a mountain out of a molehill

[river wadi]

yeah that's a good thing

[river wadi]

you're doing well buddy dw :)

[boreal anchor]

I'm afraid I can't find a stable job in the future...

[boreal anchor]

Been bothering me for a while, i hate to think of it really

[wintry rampart]

if you work hard, in an industry that you are very passionate at, soon, your job would very likely be a stable one

[boreal anchor]

I'm passionate with Animating and content creation

I can't do it now tho, focusing on IGCSE : (

[wintry rampart]

i think that it's a bit too early to worry about your jobs, but the most important advice i'd give you is to stay humble, and hardworking to attain a stable job.

there's a reason on why influencers make their own downfall, or at least get an unstable fanbasw. they set high expectations, whine if their view count doesn't meet their expectation and sometimes are a bit arrogant.

the number 1 rule of content creation, is to enjoy your work and your content as a whole.

[boreal anchor]

That's what I learnt the hard way

not really that hard but you get the point

[wintry rampart]

i see... i also learnt it hard when i began to compare myself with a popular shoutcaster

when i my style of content creation is photography

[boreal anchor]

That's not bad man

[wintry rampart]

why thank you. anyways, tbf, there is no need for expectations in the world of content creating

[wintry rampart]

maybe flexibility could be something to put on a cv as a skill

or simply, a resume

[wintry rampart]

tbf, i didn't know that students could pick out their groups before the first day of a course, if they know who's in said course and if their professor is cool with that.

[eager ore]

Y’all get sad for no reason or just don’t know what triggered it

[real junco]

yes

and I randomly get too happy sometimes for no reason

so it looks like I'm high

[mild compass]

Same

[lament cloud]

What is happiness

[mild compass]

You wouldnt know you're in uni

[lament cloud]

I hate how true this is

[stuck mango]

Lmao

[wintry rampart]

okay... now i've got to deal with feeling replaced without actually confronting the people replacing me...

i am absolutely not sure on how to cope without looking like a sissy

confronting and asking them would be the dumbest move

for sure

well hey, it's their loss, not mine.

[wintry rampart]

if they can't do their project well, it's their fault

not mine

[mild compass]

I'm exhausted

All my muscles ache

And are sore

I should take a rest day

I'm physically incapable of walking

🙏 😔 thoughts guys and females guys?

Thanks

(pls response)

[eager ore]

Gym?

[mild compass]

Yes

Not the gym.

At home

[eager ore]

Ok how many days are you working out

In a week

[mild compass]

Everyday

Like 4

4

4 days in a week

[eager ore]

Are u stretching before and after?

[mild compass]

Yess

[eager ore]

Maybe it’s ur form then

[mild compass]

I have no equipment

[eager ore]

Still

You could be doing a push-up wrong

[mild compass]

How do I know my form is wrong

Oh

[eager ore]

Watch videos

And see if ur doing that, record urself as well

[mild compass]

Ah makes sense

I'll do that

Thanks for the idea

🙏 💯

[eager ore]

Np, maybe take an extra rest day or switch a day for cardio. Rest is really important and so is ur calorie intake

[mild compass]

My routine is like Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. the free days are rest days where I do nothing but study or do non-physical activities. Other than that, I've been eating a lot more than I usually do. And drinking like 15 glasses of water a day

Sometimes I have to go out and help buy stuff and usually carry it home which is a giant pain in the ass

But overall decent

[eager ore]

You’re just starting out right? Also measure ur water intake in mls, too much water isn’t good.

[mild compass]

Yes, oh how much water should I take

How do you track what you need to ingest

[eager ore]

Google says 3 litres but u also get some from food and other drinks. For food use a calorie tracker app

You make ur own food?

[mild compass]

I eat what is presented to me

I could make my own food and I usually do but where I am atm, I don't have that luxury

[eager ore]

Well same, Ive figured out my portion sizes that make me in a deficit so u can try the same or use a calorie counting app

I use an app HealthifyMe to figure out what foods to avoid and it specialises in Indian food which is hard to get in other mainstream apps

[mild compass]

I installed the wrong app then bc all I'm eating is indian/paki food

🙏

Nice it's got Malaysian foods too

[north karma]

If its ur first few days of working out its normal

Jus eat enough food and get ur protein

[north karma]

How tf is getting sore an issue of technique

[river wadi]

you should prolly have a rest day ATLEAST once a week. don't stress your body when you first start. get enough sleep so your body can repair itself

[eager ore]

Push up was a bad example but they’re multiple exercises if u don’t have proper technique ur not targeting the right muscle group and that stresses the muscle

[wintry rampart]

ah shit... here we go again.

now i'm back to square one. questioning myself if i am really a lucky person, or if i made myself an unlucky soul that's got nothing left to lose

while i am managing a big ass photography account, i have decided to go into an actual car show in my country next week

and i do not know if it would bring a lotta local followers or do barely anything

[wintry rampart]

and on the harsher side, i am really unlucky tbf

all i fucking do is sit my ass, complain about life and that's fucking it.

doing homeworks

[eager ore]

I guess even if it doesn’t help your account growth you’d still have a good time at the show right

[wintry rampart]

yep. and a fresh breath of air

cause i haven't left my house for days now

and another chance to collect old toys

that is, old diecast cars

[eager ore]

Exactly, what would you be doing otherwise? Better than staying at home and doing nothing

[river wadi]

one thing i realized is that everyone is unlucky in atleast one thing. You may not be lucky in some things that others are lucky at but you are lucky in some ways that others are not. You just have to realize it, appreciate it and go on :)

[wintry rampart]

and it's just the start, or middle of college, so, there is actually a lot of time left for me to enjoy what the world has for me

[river wadi]

even if you don't like it

[river wadi]

yup

exactly

[wintry rampart]

of course, there's a lot of opportunities to learn new hobbies and who knows? i may be growing a sudden large passion and maybe turning that into a career

although i would avoid becoming an influencer, as this is one of the most narcissistic jobs, imo

especially if tiktok gets involved

man, how today's people's iqs are downgrading every damn day.

thank god i'm not one of them.

that's something i should be lucky on

and watching will smith spanking chris rock in front of a million eyes makes me feel less miserable and more fortunate

that i am not a total idiot

[full parcel]

Tomorrow is my birthday and it's going to be the first one that I am going co celebrate without my father. I am excited for it but when I think about him and him not being there it just hurts and idk what to do to make it stop

[nova vigil]

april fool

💀

I am sorry to hear that

[wintry rampart]

if i stayed home even more, i'd prolly be spiraling down even further.

heck, i was able to quarantine myself at home for about 2 months straight before, and i feel that my thinking has worsened

as i would think that i'm unfortunate that i am living home, when every damn 20 year old goes out

[full parcel]

Stopp this just made me laughh

[merry estuary]

quick question what does this channel do?

[mild compass]

you complain about stuff and it makes u feel better

Ig

and others can give u advice

[merry estuary]

NICE

[nova vigil]

among us refrence

[merry estuary]

I know

[nova vigil]

this channel is refrence to popular game among us where the imposter is trying to sabotage the crew and the imposter can used vents to travel around the ship faster

thus giving the name vents

[merry estuary]

lmfao

I know I know chew chew you don't have to go full out explalination mode lmfao

[nova vigil]

ik that yk but idk

[full flax]

one month left