venting

[woven lark]

• mum

[dusk thorn]

@woven lark @keen kestrel thank you hhgggg

I'm sick of her

Im not even overweight

[keen kestrel]

yes, you're bootiful

[dusk thorn]

Overweight doesn't necessarily mean ugly doe

I'm just pissed that she can never be proud of me

Her ego is too big to let her

[keen kestrel]

relax bro

[fresh nexus]

people dont often remember how you looked like before, this happened with my dad (for example) when he lost a lot of weight and none of my family (even me) could tell he changed until we saw pictures of him before the weight loss

[dusk thorn]

The issue isn't with that, she KNOWS I've lost weight and I'm looking better

The issue is that she can never ever be proud of me for anything

I'm not a saint nor am I outstanding but i have some decent achievements and she is never the source of pride, ever

[fresh nexus]

damn thats weird, if that was a friend it mightve meant them being a bit jealous but its your mom so rip

[dusk thorn]

Yeah my mother needs therapy

[keen kestrel]

can i die in your lap at least

[fresh nexus]

is your dad happy

[keen kestrel]

then burry me

[dusk thorn]

Meh. I feel like my mother adds stress on him.

I mean they were just yelling at eachother

[dusk thorn]

Hot

Sure

My dad is happy about me I mean

He doesn't show it much but he shows it in other ways

Like paying a lot of money for me to be in an advanced school and stuff bc he believes in me etc

He doesn't say stuff

He does stuff

[fresh nexus]

maybe you and your dad should tell your mom to stop eating sugar

[dusk thorn]

HAHAHAHAHA

Maybe maybe

Well

She never has sugar ever

Maybe that's why shes so bitter

I think I know why she's like this

But she doesn't believe in psychology or therapy and stuff

[woven lark]

haha

[woven lark]

ols school i see

[spark sonnet]

more like a dumbass

but that works

[open cape]

You look beautiful and pretty the way you are already <3, people opinions shouldn't matter dont let them affect you

[uneven burrow]

@spark sonnet although i havent seen you, pretty sure you are beautiful in your own ways, and btw that is sad man, hopefully your mom stops 1 day with this. best of luck!

[dusk thorn]

@open cape thank you you're such a sweetheart omg ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[dusk thorn]

I'm sexy that's all you need to know

Thanks man I really appreciate it

My mum will never stop, but I can leave the house one day

[open cape]

aww np ❤️

[open cape]

XD

[uneven burrow]

ohh - i see

ever talked to her regarding it?

[dusk thorn]

Yep

Me and my elder sister too

All she says is that she's a mother which means that she can do whatever she wants

I can quote what she says word for word

[uneven burrow]

oh

[uneven burrow]

that sad man )::;

[dusk thorn]

She's screwed in the head lmao

Yeah I guess it is sad

[uneven burrow]

indeed, although I STILL hope she stops 1 day somehow

and i hope that day arrives soon

[dusk thorn]

I just hope to get out of the house

She can die mad

[uneven burrow]

oh - you hate her alot 👀

[open cape]

.>

[uneven burrow]

||haf nice pfp ||

[open cape]

hey u know whatever so u dont need to let her words affect you.. but even after everything she is your mother i mean..she raised you..

[dusk thorn]

I don't hate her, just severely dislike her

[open cape]

saying that is a little too far dont u think.

[dusk thorn]

Watch what you say - you don't know what she did to me.

[open cape]

ty ❤️

[dusk thorn]

She's abusive as fuck in many different ways

Don't assume mother = good

[open cape]

i noticed that when u said that but what i meant was that.

[uneven burrow]

mhmm

[open cape]

even what so ever. you shouldnt at least say She can die mad

[uneven burrow]

oh -

[dusk thorn]

She can though

[open cape]

my point is different...ik how you feel trust me...i know.

[dusk thorn]

word of advice: don't ever tell somebody how to feel about their parent. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but in the future others won't be as lenient as me when you say stuff like that

I get what youre trying to say

[open cape]

but look at it in another way dont u wanna be dif then her.? she doesnt care. doesnt mean u shouldnt..

[dusk thorn]

I do care. If I did, I would make her life a living hell

[uneven burrow]

physical abuse? 👀

[open cape]

ur not helping -_-

wtf -.-

[uneven burrow]

i -

im just asking

ok ill just exit

[open cape]

im sorry i didnt mean to offend you or tell u should feel about something..

that was not my intention, sorry

[open cape]

i should just follow you lol.

[dusk thorn]

You're assuming that because I said she can "die mad" it means that I just want her to die. When you say somebody can die mad, it means that you won't try to convince them that they're wrong etc

No child should be forced to put up with somebody abusive

No matter what they are

[open cape]

i never said they should..

[dusk thorn]

Parent, friend, sibling

[mild compass]

yo when iss a sensitive subject like this iss sometimes better to just say nothing at all

[dusk thorn]

I never said you said that.

But I'm emphasising.

[open cape]

yup im sorry @dusk thorn

[dusk thorn]

It's fine, you had good intentions

It isn't even a matter of it being a sensitive subjectb

It's a matter of understanding that the blood of family doesn't make anything better

I know what my mother has done and I wouldn't be mentally ill if it weren't for her

So

Yeah

Thanks for the kind words anyway

[mild compass]

as someone whos been through some shit this is so fax

[open cape]

yeah im really sorry still..;-;

[open cape]

np ❤️

https://tenor.com/view/hugs-hug-ghost-hug-gif-4451998

[dusk thorn]

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water in the womb

I stand by that

@open cape

[open cape]

i get that.

[dusk thorn]

Sorry for the shithead that hurt you

Give it time and they'll get what they deserve

[mild compass]

fax

[open cape]

feel you lol.

[dusk thorn]

@mild compass fuck him (no offence)

[open cape]

before u edited it.

[mild compass]

yee i agree dw

[dusk thorn]

And screw him too

Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child

[mild compass]

thats very much fact

[dusk thorn]

I will die on that hill

[uneven burrow]

true dat

[rough holly]

can i say she’s prolly jealous of your amazing sense of style

[spark sonnet]

AHAHAHAHAHA

@rough holly YOU'RE ADORABLE

[rough holly]

BRUH WHO REACTED WITH YOU TRIED meanie

i was trying to make them feel better 👍

[spark sonnet]

it was keyaan the incel

[spark sonnet]

why did you react with awkward omg

[rough holly]

cause i’m not 👍👍👍👍

[spark sonnet]

nawwww you're so sweet!

ofc you are

[uneven burrow]

lol

[mild compass]

haha

[rough holly]

not funny cried

wait i have a meme for that 👍

[spark sonnet]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

[dull pulsar]

registration prices are sky high i feel guilty knowing theres no guarantee ill do well. i feel so bad for my dad. i have a burning anger towards half my teachers for half assing everything life just feels like a bruh moment atm

aaaaa

[cunning parrot]

a levels is so much fun when your college decides to force you into going to the oct nov series of AS exams then decides to hold midterm exams for A2 50 days after the AS exams end and expects you to cover all of physics p4 and 50 percent of maths p3 and all of computer p3 in 50 days while also having to give the same exams that students who have been studying from july have to give

[wooden elm]

Sucks, I can say 2 things that might help you, first is that if its not your fault don't feel guilty

Second is in the future never trust your teachers

also its not too late, 4 months is a lot of time

[spark sonnet]

it really do be a bruh moment agsdhj but jokes aside, i think you should believe in yourself and try your hardest - the money is an investment, not a waste. i think you'll be alright. trust yourself and work smart, this will be okay eventually

[spark sonnet]

man i have literally no comment, some boards/schools/colleges are acting a fool rn. you're not alone :(<3

[dull pulsar]

thanks guys, i agree that schools r currently on more crack than ever, im going through the syllabuses point by point wondering what was so hard that they couldnt finish it in 2 years.i need anger management therapy

[wooden elm]

schools have to go on a much slower pace considering they have to solve doubts, make up for time distracted etc cuz there are 30-50 students?

[rough holly]

AHHHHHHHHH

sorry just had to let that scream out in good now

[uneven burrow]

i see,,, good luck!

[dull pulsar]

from what im seeing its diff for every school/class, unfortunately for me, few teachers werent able to adjust to online classes, some dont even check papers or give feedback to work we submit, some falsely reassure us saying we'll do fine, when most of my class's grades are declining. ik the current situation is tough for both students and teachers, but it feels as though at the end of the day, we students will suffer with potentially shitty grades and not them

[wooden elm]

yeah honestly I expected it to decline before the first quarintine started

[dusk thorn]

Your anger is perfectly reasonable tbh, you deserve to be angry

[spark sonnet]

i am so godforsakenly tired

i cannot study for the life of me

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[uneven burrow]

):::, good luck man!!! dont give up you can do it !

[spark sonnet]

thanks sweetie im just exhausted

i didnt have good sleep last night

[uneven burrow]

[spark sonnet]

even tho i slept almost 9 hours

[uneven burrow]

O

h

9 hrs alot though? 🤔

[spark sonnet]

i had basically 0 deep sleep :/

it is

[uneven burrow]

o

h

[spark sonnet]

but deep sleep is the most important part

[uneven burrow]

i see,

[spark sonnet]

out of 8h 55m i had 30 mins of deep

and that

is

bad

[uneven burrow]

ohh - lol

😂 good luck on getting more deep sleep next time

[naive skiff]

Deep sleep

I miss that

[uneven burrow]

loll

[spark sonnet]

yeah i hope tonight will be different

im so fucking tired

i really wanted today to be productive

i think im just gonna write my personal statement instead and try relax

[uneven burrow]

yeahh, good luck with that ssssss

[woven lark]

How did that go?

[spark sonnet]

its

actually

working

im getting somewhere

MY BIOLOGY TEACHER IS WRITING A REC FOR ME!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[woven lark]

OOOOHHH

sexy

[woven lark]

Good good. I need to work on mine too. Idk how to though

[cosmic ginkgo]

start jotting down points to talk about

academic achievements, extracurriculars

once you've put down short bullets, explain what you learnt from them, a very brief bit about what you did if relevant

then slowly stitch them together

[naive skiff]

@cosmic ginkgo can i copy yours please

[cosmic ginkgo]

are you content lead of zinot waffle

[naive skiff]

Jaheverebiheueveieveidve

Im your right hand man

[woven lark]

What if I learnt the same thing from every one? Like sports..

[cosmic ginkgo]

also are you doing physics 😂

[woven lark]

Idk if you get what I mean

[cosmic ginkgo]

group them together

[naive skiff]

Me?

[woven lark]

Ah. Excellent

[cosmic ginkgo]

oh and also find attractive qualities / traits that ppl look for in your field and link them in

[woven lark]

I shall start with this. If I need help I may get back to you? :)

[cosmic ginkgo]

ofc you can!

[woven lark]

Ohh so something like "leadership" "teamwork" etc?

[cosmic ginkgo]

for example dextrousness for dentistry or analytical skills for physics

[naive skiff]

How long should it be?

[woven lark]

Oh more deep stuff

[cosmic ginkgo]

4000 characters i think? i forgot tho

[cosmic ginkgo]

those too but things that are field specific

[spark sonnet]

500 words max 0w0

[naive skiff]

What

A 500 word ps

[cosmic ginkgo]

ucas is character specific tho i remember that

[keen kestrel]

^

[spark sonnet]

google said 500 doe

idk man i be writing

[cosmic ginkgo]

Check the UCAS guidelines deuceee UCAS has a blog on writing personal statements@spark sonnet

[dusk thorn]

Yeah there's a tool on it and stuff that I'm using

Also I want to scream

Why cant I EVER GET ENOUGH DEEP SLEEP

[uneven burrow]

saddd ):::

BEST OF LUCK next time

😂

[dusk thorn]

They ain't gonna be a next time no mo

Fuck sleep

I can't sleep well for the life of me these days

[uneven burrow]

)::::

[dusk thorn]

I shall be fine

Eventually

There's a reasonable explanation for everything

[uneven burrow]

indeed...

[sand spindle]

Hello

Didn’t know where to ask this but when is results day for oct/nov ?

[finite flower]

Jan 18th i think

im not sure

@dusk thorn confirm?

[sand spindle]

it is soo near

[finite flower]

mhm yeah results day are scary

[sand spindle]

yeah.. 😦

[finite flower]

how was ur exams?

[sand spindle]

I did my best but i’m not confident

[uneven burrow]

as long as you gave your best, bro!!! im sure you will do great - also best not to think about the results - for now somehow chill and relax and enjoy 😂

[sand spindle]

I’m so scared

[uneven burrow]

gosh,, come on - try forget about it 😂 take a break or smthhhh and do smthing you like for a while

[spark sonnet]

11th of january

[spark sonnet]

^^^

it'll be okay

we did our best and that's all we can do

worst comes to worst there's a solution for everything

we can resit if need be

we can bump up the grades with A2

they have a considerate amount of weight

no use fretting over what happened

you might as well invest your energy to prepare for the future

jan 18th is for the IGCSE students

11th is for AS

[finite flower]

oh my bad sry

[spark sonnet]

no worries sweetheart

18th is technically correct

but their user is green

so i assume they're waiting for AS marks

[finite flower]

ye

[uneven burrow]

lol

indeed

[rough holly]

oh no the dreaded chappal

gulp

[cosmic ginkgo]

no chappals for anyone

[mild compass]

It's the sheer look of disappointment that I dread the most

[spark sonnet]

mood

god i have a servere dislike for entitled people who are just really pissy

like stop being a drag no one gives a fuck

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[finite flower]

hmmm

[spark sonnet]

thank you duck

[finite flower]

ur welcome?

[spark sonnet]

that was a joke

[finite flower]

same

[spark sonnet]

it should be an official znote rule to not take deuce seriously

[rough holly]

damn amazing ted talk

[spark sonnet]

thank you it was emotional

[rough holly]

10/10

[uneven burrow]

[wicked turret]

Ik this is a mid term semester exam but I dont think I can make it

I joined AS course in school after 2 and half months and missed some chapters

Since CIE exams are cancelled, they will be basing our grades on semester and regular class tests (and mine are not that great so far)

[wicked turret]

The midway semester will begin starting on Monday

And I havent fully managed to learn 2 chapters properly

Which are Variance and measurement of central tendency (Stat) and Dna replication (Bio)

I keep trying to cover all the basics I could

But more i try to study

The more I learn that there are many things I havent covered properly

And that just makes me distraught

The last time I was here, I was basically sharing my grief after seeing my grandfather in coma. He sadly passed away in early December and I had to take a break in early winterbreak (which was way too long)

[uneven burrow]

Awww dude that is really sad ): .. may he rest in peace - and that is perfectly understandable - it takes time to get over the death of a close person ): <33333.
i see that you also joined the as course a couple of months later which is really unfortunate ):

also it is amazing, that you are left with only 2 chapters given these circumstances -

and it is usually common to think in that manner - though im pretty sure you could be acing these examssss - i mean a day and a bit more is left - im pretty sure you could brush up that content 😉

[wicked turret]

Prob more than that

But yeah

[uneven burrow]

also regarding that - didnt caie release another announcement? that they would wish to carry on with their exams?

[wicked turret]

Idk much about it but it is somewhat possible?

Exam net has more secured ver on chrome but it isnt foolproof

[uneven burrow]

https://www.cambridgeinternational.org/news/news-details/view/statement-following-uk-government-announcement-on-june-2021-exams-20210105/

uhh - might want to check this out - posted in the updates channel of this server

[wicked turret]

Oh

I really hope so

Really

[uneven burrow]

hopefully that provides a boost to you

[uneven burrow]

seems like they will happen though... as they announced

[rough holly]

a) extremely sorry for your loss - it must have been very hard for you - b) you will do fine 😊

[wicked turret]

At this point, all I can do is keep doing more past papers, flashcards and notes

Pain persists but it will be worsened if I dont do well in the test

[uneven burrow]

seems like a good combo,,,

[uneven burrow]

ohh )::: - dont stress your self too much about it btw - your mental health is >>>>. exams

[rough holly]

past papers are always good

[wicked turret]

I will keep that in mind

[rough holly]

DONT LET THIS RYIN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH -YOUR HEALTH IS ALWAY MORE IMPORTANT

DONT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE

[uneven burrow]

true dattttt

[rough holly]

sorry for the many typos

[wicked turret]

Yeah

[rough holly]

i let my exams take over my health and how i feel like i’m going to@do horribly and fail everything - mental is alway better

[uneven burrow]

@wicked turret i hope - everything goes smooth for you in the long run - given that you had to go through this tough condition <3333

[uneven burrow]

): - i hope that you do really well 🙏

[wicked turret]

Ik that feeling too...depression got better of me in late 2019 and throughout 2020

Don't know if I have recovered from it yet since I haven't been meeting a therapist

[uneven burrow]

aww man - that so sad ): - i hope you get through it ASAP .....

[rough holly]

yeah i started to talk to my school teacher and they yreallldo help y

dont be afraid to speak out

i had held in how i was feeling for 2 years and i felt like shit

mind the language

[wicked turret]

Which is what I'm doing rn :))

[rough holly]

good :))))

[wicked turret]

Anyways good luck you 2

Thank you for the support

I might sound flippant but I truly appreciate what u guys did today

[uneven burrow]

no worries - "You matter" - best of luck with your exams

[rough holly]

nah we are always here for you

[spark sonnet]

i have something good to say for once

i managed to sleep last night without an episode of overstimulation or constantly waking up

and i fell asleep rather quickly

trusting the process

[uneven burrow]

oohhhh niceee - well done

[spark sonnet]

thank you :)

[rough holly]

woah thats amazing well done deuce :)))))))

[spark sonnet]

thanks

i started listening to ambience again to soothe me

it made a drastic change

[uneven burrow]

Noice indeed

[spark sonnet]

i want to vent a little

[uneven burrow]

sure, go ahead

[mild compass]

https://tenor.com/view/excited-listening-go-on-jon-stewart-gif-7666771

[spark sonnet]

my friends are trying to convince me to ditch class tomorrow and not do my chemistry exam because our marks come out tomorrow?

and my entire class is being a bunch of babies

like

they all wanna ditch bc theyre nervous?

[uneven burrow]

yikes

[spark sonnet]

life will move on regardless of how you feel, moron.

and

we're already behind on the material.

for A2 in general

[mild compass]

ditching an exam is a massive no

[spark sonnet]

for every subject

[uneven burrow]

^

[spark sonnet]

ive ditched exams before with REASON

like

[mild compass]

same like in year 9 i used to

[spark sonnet]

my school tried to give me a purely AP chemistry exam and im not an ap student

i literally said no

[mild compass]

but in like A2 ion think its a good choice

[spark sonnet]

exactly

i need the motive to study

and this exam will show my chemistry teacher if im still good or not

or if i need help.

and these

motherfuckers

are tryna tell me

a day wont matter

[mild compass]

you cant keep running from inevitability

[spark sonnet]

A DAY DOES MATTER

exactly

thats what they all do

they're used to being spoilt

[mild compass]

fr they gon be underprepard

[spark sonnet]

whenever something happens, they escape

they wiggle their ways out

cowardice

not even cowardice actually

they're spoilt as hell

it's insane

[mild compass]

rich kids?

[spark sonnet]

and my friends are chastising me for not wanting to ditch

yep

you nailed it lol.

like leave me the fuck alone?

they don't get what they're doing

one day doesn't matter?

[mild compass]

makes sense now

[spark sonnet]

my future is in danger if i'm absent for no good reason.

like

not to be dramatic

but A2 is hard and important?

foundation years are EXPENSIVE???

[mild compass]

dont wanna come off as rude but that aint a good group of friends if they saying that

[spark sonnet]

sigh

theyre good people but their priorities arent always in order

they were all raised rich

[mild compass]

They shouldnt try drag u into it tho

[spark sonnet]

im very well off but i was raised like we were just about middle class

so

[finite flower]

fuck em who cares what they think

[spark sonnet]

i dont, it's just that they're so annoying

[finite flower]

ive been in ur position b4

[spark sonnet]

ugh im sorry :/

[finite flower]

all i did was ignore them

[spark sonnet]

aaaand now they're sending me messages

[mild compass]

block out the haters

[spark sonnet]

yeah im just gonna mute the group chat and call it a day

my math teacher is supposed to be here in class

but he isnt

i might as well leave early and go study

[mild compass]

good idea

[spark sonnet]

i just wish they'd fuck off

and grow up

i cant help but be bitter

sometimes they hound me for no reason

like once we were at one of their houses and we watched the netflix short, "if anything happens i love you"

or rather

they told me to watch it

[mild compass]

sometimes just try distance urself from ur friend group

[spark sonnet]

because they both thought it was stupid

i was like huh okay

so i watched it on her tv

it was about parents who lost their kid to a school shooting

and let me tell you

[mild compass]

cliche asf?

[spark sonnet]

that short film shattered my heart

not at all

[mild compass]

oh nvm

[spark sonnet]

it was beautiful

artistically? it was amazing

the animation was great

and so i was like err did you guys even understand what it was about?

[covert dirge]

you’re great

[spark sonnet]

one was too busy making fun of it for being stupid, one knew and was indifferent

and like im not saying that if youre not sympathetic then youre an asshole

but man it aint stupid

imagine if you lost your kid because some crazy decided to shoot them for no good reason?

i would die inside

and im sure anyone else would too

and then

those two friends

[mild compass]

people always be laughing until that shit happens to them

[spark sonnet]

hounded me for sympathising with the animation?

they were like bruh youre overthinking/being sensitive/its stupid etc etc

like yeah cool

and one of them uses depressed as a normal descriptive word for their mood

and

i once told her

you know the difference between depressed and upset?

and they know about my diagnosis

and they were like yeahhh but we mean a different kind

[mild compass]

is she one of those people who say im depressed for attention

[spark sonnet]

no, surprisingly

she just uses it to describe her sadness

which is

really offensive btw

like

as someone who was clinically depressed

it feels like a punch to the gut

and someone spitting on your suffering

[mild compass]

i totally understand

[spark sonnet]

i just gave her a deadpan look and forced myself to laugh

you just

cant deal with these kinds of people

its exhausting

they keep messaging me ugh

going to mute the chats now

[mild compass]

why you still hang around them

if they exhaust you

[spark sonnet]

hard to explain

likw

they can be fun and stuff

but

only on the surface

im really really different than them

i mean i have my people

im no edgy lone wolf

but when compared to them

im far too different

[mild compass]

i had a similar experience

where i legit just stopped hanging with them for a month or 2

[spark sonnet]

i mean with the rona it gives me an excuse

[mild compass]

just to get a break w my own thoughts and relieve some pressure

[spark sonnet]

yeah

[mild compass]

yeah

[spark sonnet]

they can be overwhelming

and

they suck the creativity out of me

[mild compass]

sometimes you gotta stop and think, are these the right people? do they bring me more happiness or waste my time? can i be myself around them?

[spark sonnet]

yeah

i cant be myself totally

i feel like an entertaining accessory, not much else

not like i care much

[mild compass]

🚩

[spark sonnet]

i know myself well enough to know im not a bad person

theyre just

hm

surface level friendships

thing is

one friend

is different on her own

shes a lot nicer

and i feel like i can talk to her about stuff

like

if i go on talking about the stuff i want to paint

she wont relate at all or understand but she listens and inquires

when shes with the other 2

she becomes really...

superficial?

[mild compass]

it appears shes taken the wrong route

[spark sonnet]

yeah

[mild compass]

like fr if you get peer pressured into changing your personality around people thats just a bad sign

[spark sonnet]

yeah

i stopped doing that

[mild compass]

if the people you hang out with dont like the real you, get away from there

[spark sonnet]

yeah i dont see them much

[mild compass]

dont adapt for them if they wont be willing to accept u

[spark sonnet]

and besides

once i graduate

nit like ill be forced to see them

ugh

[mild compass]

then once you graduate and they be repeating a year theyll realise they fucked up

[spark sonnet]

lmaoaoaoaoao

either way

i wish them the best

[dusk thorn]

Lmao help

@mild compass one of then is trying to call me

[mild compass]

DO NOT ANSWER

NO

RESIST

[dusk thorn]

Ugh

Yeah I ignored the call

[mild compass]

THATS THE MF SPIRIT

[dusk thorn]

Blargh

Thank you

I just hate times like this

[mild compass]

At times like these just put all ur devices away, stare at your books and study

[dusk thorn]

My man I have an exam

[mild compass]

restoration 100

[spark sonnet]

lmaoooo

im gonna study now hhh

[rough holly]

GOOD LUCK DEUCEEEE YOU ARE GOING TO ACE THE EXAM SO MUCH THAT THEY WILL HAVE TO MAKE UP A NEW GRADE

:)

[spark sonnet]

@rough holly thank you dearest <3

[rough holly]

:)

[spark sonnet]

well boys

no exam tomorrow

i honestly dont think im in the right mental state to do it and not even the goody two shoes of the class is doing it

i mean

im nowhere near ready

so

yeah

[unreal oak]

As in its cancelled?

Or you're noping out?

[spark sonnet]

sort of noping out

like

there is no way on gods green earth i can finish the material

im still going to finish this topical paper

and ill continue studying throughout the weak

week

but i might as well use this to my advantage considering my weekend was me being a total zombi

e

im just

really nervous about tomorrow;;;;

[rough holly]

oh no is there anything i can do :)

[spark sonnet]

no worries

im just scared

i really want to get into lancaster

[rough holly]

dw you will definatly get it

[spark sonnet]

i dont know about that

ughhhhhhhhhhhh

[rough holly]

YES I DO

inshallah

[spark sonnet]

ya rab

[rough holly]

shush you are gonna get it

repeat it to yourself

and shout IT

DEUCE IS GONNA GET INTO LANCASTER

for sure

[spark sonnet]

inshallah :(

ill off myself with the saw if i dont :D

[rough holly]

no

[spark sonnet]

(IT IS A JOKE PLEASE DONT CALL THE SUICIDE HOTLINE)

[rough holly]

SHOUT IT

NOT YOU ABOU THE SAW - YOU GETTING INTO LANCASTER

[spark sonnet]

i'll take my anger out on 6w9 in ways that are not PG

[spark sonnet]

<3

[rough holly]

pls dont shout you are gonna off yourself with a saw

that would be very awkward

[rough holly]

approved

[spark sonnet]

opens window IM GOING TO BEHEAD MYSELF WITH MY SAW

some guy: yeah you go!

[rough holly]

some other guy- do a flip

:)

anyways you are gonna do amazing dont put yourself down

[spark sonnet]

inshallah ya rab

please pray for me

[rough holly]

obviously - ill pray for everyone

yk when i can pray so like in 4 days

:(

[slow wharf]

انشاءالله خير

[spark sonnet]

thanks man ameen

[rough holly]

ameen

[rough holly]

I am so nervous about the mocks that I don't know how to describe it. I'm so scared that if I fail the mocks and then the GCSEs get cancelled then all my grades would not reflect how I've been working. I've been trying so hard not to let it bother me buts it's tough to not worry. I'm so scared with them coming closer so quickly. I try to sleep early like I'm in bed by 10 but I'm not able to sleep until really late sometimes I just can't sleep then I can't concentrate in lessons then i get more anxious. I just don't know how to deal with all of this

im so fucking scared

soz for langaugae

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IM IN SM PAIN

okay im good now just had to let that all outtt

[finite flower]

dont be scared

[rough holly]

i need a hug

[finite flower]

go in confident

hardwork always pays off

[rough holly]

is so scary tho

like i rmeber being a kid having no worries about aything and sleeping and eating anything without gettiingfat - now i got to worry about so many things

that english is amazing

[tepid delta]

oh dear god i feel your pain

[rough holly]

half the time i just cant stop crying

and i want the pain to stop

[tepid delta]

i'm just crying all the time

[rough holly]

id rathe have no emotions then to feel everything

[tepid delta]

^

but emotions make us human

we'd be...robots if we didn't have emotions

[rough holly]

rather be a robot

i mean dyno seems like they having fu

n

[tepid delta]

true terminator

but yeah

I remember my GCSE's

studied well

[rough holly]

and bummblebee

[tepid delta]

and then a...family situation happened

caused me to absolutely mess up any hopes i had in gcse's

what i'm trying to say is uhh...stuff happens

you just gotta be strong to work through it

[rough holly]

ig ive just never been a strong person

[tepid delta]

no one really is

we're all just kids deep down

[rough holly]

i wanna be a kid so bad

[tepid delta]

aye,me too

[rough holly]

my parents liked me better then

now they like my fricking youger sibling

[tepid delta]

Same,my family liked me more back then,now they're disgusted to be related to me

[tepid delta]

F,can't relate

been an only child,but it royally sucks

[rough holly]

its better than your parenst giving your sibling a HUG EVERY 2 FUCKING MINUTES and i ask for one they legit say no to my face

[tepid delta]

i suppose

My dad's been away from me for more than 6 years now

due to work issues

and my mom's too busy taking care of our dysfunctional extended family

[rough holly]

oh that must suck so much

[tepid delta]

so it's just me

[rough holly]

oh no

[tepid delta]

and i get lonle

a lot

i meme but the pain

it never goes

[rough holly]

im always here for you

[tepid delta]

Aye,me too.

[rough holly]

my pain has been here for 3 years

[tepid delta]

Yikes.

Been for me about...5 now

[rough holly]

[tepid delta]

It sucks honestly,being an only child

[rough holly]

i also tried talking to my parents bout this - said i was stupid lmao

[tepid delta]

You do get 100% of the funding,and believe me,it's great

[rough holly]

said it wasnt as tough as then

:(

[tepid delta]

ps5 on preorder confirms that

but you don't have anyone to go to at the end of the day

it's just yourself

[rough holly]

yeah

[tepid delta]

and that really sucks

[rough holly]

i love being by myself and i hate it

smths you just need someone there for you

[tepid delta]

the biggest love-hate relationship i have is with me

[tepid delta]

this tbf

[rough holly]

same

and i hate it

[tepid delta]

sometimes you just need someone to console you

when stuff go wrong

[rough holly]

i legit hate everything about me

[tepid delta]

like confessing to your crush

[rough holly]

the only thing i like aout myself is my eyes

thats legit it

[rough holly]

yes

exactly

[tepid delta]

that's good

have something you like about yourself

ah yikes now i'm reminded of my crush

[rough holly]

crushes are stupid

online friends are forever

[tepid delta]

yes

[rough holly]

sorry im like horrible at pep talks

[tepid delta]

i can attest to that

[tepid delta]

better than me that's for sure

[rough holly]

haha no you made me feel better

[tepid delta]

did i now

what a win

[rough holly]

sometimes its nice just to talk to someone

you dont know in rl

[tepid delta]

aye

[rough holly]

i ishould prolly join the pain gang lmao

[tepid delta]

cause they can't and won't judge you

[rough holly]

yeah they rly cany

cant

[tepid delta]

and even if they do

just move on

[rough holly]

block em

[tepid delta]

not too hard when you don't know the person on the other end

[rough holly]

this was nice

thanks :))

[tepid delta]

i'm glad you feel better now

[rough holly]

made me feel heaps better

[tepid delta]

i'm here anytime if you need me

or anywhere really

[rough holly]

still not 100 but more like 50 now

before i was 0

[tepid delta]

50 better than 0

[rough holly]

yeah ig

[tepid delta]

damn i miss my crush

that went horrifically

[rough holly]

i ust gotta stop putting stress on myself

woah crushes are stupid

[tepid delta]

you should,it's no good for you

[tepid delta]

i realized that too late

way too late

[rough holly]

haha

[tepid delta]

even went out and bought roses for her

smh smh

[rough holly]

thats way i only have anime crushes they cant hurt your

[rough holly]

damn you must of rly liked them

[tepid delta]

yes this tbf

anime waifus are love

[tepid delta]

i did...i really did

It was about 2019

eh it's a long story

[rough holly]

so bc( before corona)

no ill listen

[tepid delta]

alright

yeah,way before bc

i uhh...i talked with this girl

just chatted her up,didn't think much of it

and as time went on...my crush just grew hard

this was about june 2019 mind you

[rough holly]

damn

they seem rude af

i dont like them already

[tepid delta]

eheh

so december 2019

we're going on a trip

and my crush is just bursting

i was like,if i don't confess on this trip,i'll never confess

was quite romantic as well

cold and just hilly

[rough holly]

damn sounds like such a nice place

[tepid delta]

heh

[tepid delta]

i saw that

[rough holly]

hehe no you didnt

[tepid delta]

maybe

so,we're heading back

and i'm giving relationship advice to my juniors,which worked

and then i was crying about my past,past crush

and then her classmates was there

and they asked

well do you have a crush on someone now

me being the perpetual idiot,i say yes

and then i told them who it was

[rough holly]

haha

offfffffffffffffff

im front of girl teenagers

[tepid delta]

yes

so,and i ain't kidding you

they're just jumping and screaming around

and going like whaaaa

[rough holly]

sounds like those cringey teens

damn must of been hard for you

[tepid delta]

Nah

I was just like "brace for it"

they're gonna tell you she's way outta your league

And you stand no chance with ber

*her

[rough holly]

leagues are pointless- it should be about the inside

like how they treat you

i swear if someone bought me roses i WOULD DIE

like i would actually collaspe on the floor

and DIE

[tepid delta]

mate if a girl said hi to me i'd die

[rough holly]

hi

;)

anyways

[tepid delta]

dies

[rough holly]

hehe

[tepid delta]

damn you really wanna kill me

[rough holly]

NOOOO

defo no

[tepid delta]

Y U SAY HI

[rough holly]

:)

HELLO

better

[tepid delta]

DIES FASTER

[rough holly]

HAHAH

дравствуйте

[tepid delta]

you're testing my inner russian

[rough holly]

dies in russian - idk how to put it in italics

[tepid delta]

blyat

[rough holly]

ahah

[tepid delta]

CYKA BLYAT

what a banger of a song

[rough holly]

WAIT I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

I THINK

i swear it means fuckin bitch orrr

im prolly wrong

[tepid delta]

• just throw in asterisks *

[rough holly]

• dies in russian*

oh

[tepid delta]

just surround the text with asterisks

no spaces

• so it goes from this *

[rough holly]

dies in russian

YESS

[tepid delta]

perfect

[rough holly]

I DID IT

thanks

:)))))

[tepid delta]

two asterisks make it bold

three asterisks make it bold and italics

[rough holly]

snazzy

damn

[tepid delta]

damn in 3d

[rough holly]

learn smth new very day

no damnin 3d

this is fun

[tepid delta]

two underscores underline it

[rough holly]

hi

[naive skiff]

Hello

[rough holly]

wiat no

hi

[naive skiff]

Whats going on atm?

[rough holly]

life

[tepid delta]

and you can combine them for snazzy effects!

[naive skiff]

Yes

[rough holly]

SOSNAZZY

[tepid delta]

discussing my crushes

a.k.a how terribly that went

[rough holly]

yeah reminds me continue - only if you want to

[naive skiff]

No one saw that

[tepid delta]

|| nah spoiler tagged ||

[naive skiff]

Crushes arent fun unless they crush on you or are nice

[tepid delta]

oh she was nice

[rough holly]

||i saw that ||

[tepid delta]

she was nice nice

[rough holly]

doesnt seem nice

[tepid delta]

she was,she really was

[rough holly]

waffle would you die if you got roses

s

[naive skiff]

Not really just be ecstatic

[tepid delta]

here

@rough holly

🌹 🌹

[rough holly]

:)

OMG DIES?

dont ask about the question mark

[tepid delta]

looks like a tulip

[rough holly]

idk how that got there

[naive skiff]

Yay

[rough holly]

🇭 🇮

@tepid delta there

<3

[tepid delta]

dies

[naive skiff]

Hi

[rough holly]

Hi again

[tepid delta]

dies more

dies even more

y'all really tryna murder me

[rough holly]

i will

hehe

[tepid delta]

it's alright nothing left to murder

my heart been dead

[rough holly]

as salam u alikum

[tepid delta]

OH WAIT WE DERAILED

[rough holly]

OH YES

[tepid delta]

wa alaikum salaam

[rough holly]

haha

[naive skiff]

Damn didnt know you swing both ways

[rough holly]

marhaba

hola

[tepid delta]

SAYYARAH

the only arabic i remember

[rough holly]

SALUTATIONS

[naive skiff]

Vroom vroom

[tepid delta]

vroom

[rough holly]

habbibi yallah with the story

[tepid delta]

my pfp vrooms away

[naive skiff]

Batak

[tepid delta]

i did not know how to react

[finite flower]

kalb

[rough holly]

haha

[tepid delta]

baby

[naive skiff]

Just sya nice

[tepid delta]

HABIBI
HABIBI

[rough holly]

no love hurry up with the story

[tepid delta]

HABIBI

OHHHH

[rough holly]

AHHAA

[naive skiff]

Habibti yallah

[tepid delta]

hold up

[naive skiff]

Idk

Take your time

[tepid delta]

i'm getting serious aladeen vibes

[rough holly]

kalas with the marhaba

hehe

[tepid delta]

anyone watched the dictator

[naive skiff]

Nope

[rough holly]

nope

[tepid delta]

so basically there's an arab version of the next episode

and it's fantastic

[rough holly]

ohh i gotta see this

🛤️ 🚅

derailed

[naive skiff]

Let him take his time

[tepid delta]

want me to link it

[rough holly]

yes

[tepid delta]

where

[naive skiff]

Also

[rough holly]

:)

[naive skiff]

Having crushes are 50 50

[tepid delta]

this

I've had 2 crushes

it really is 50-50

[rough holly]

thank you guys sm - i actually stoped crying and laughed for the first time in weeks

never had a crush lmao

[naive skiff]

I might've potentially have one but i left it

[rough holly]

unless on anime people

[tepid delta]

anime is fine

[naive skiff]

Anime is life

[rough holly]

then ive had tooo many to count

[tepid delta]

it is great

[naive skiff]

I have more waifus

[tepid delta]

is it fine if i crush on cars

[naive skiff]

Than crushes

[tepid delta]

same

[rough holly]

THATS THE NAME OF MY ANIME ACCOUNT LMAO

[naive skiff]

Lol

[tepid delta]

where crunchy?

[naive skiff]

Might have you never know

[rough holly]

i crush on MITSUBISHI MINI ACTIVE URBAN SANDAL.

hehe

[naive skiff]

I need crunchy as soon as gogo goes down

[rough holly]

no the lamborgini urus

[naive skiff]

This season is well and im liking it

[rough holly]

😉

[naive skiff]

I dont understand

[tepid delta]

i cannot argue with that

[rough holly]

ahah

[naive skiff]

Well I'm not into fashion but

I like trench coats

[rough holly]

ohhh i love those

[finite flower]

i like hoodies

[naive skiff]

Ye

Hoodies cool too

[tepid delta]

i like sneakers

[rough holly]

i liegit just wear jeans

[tepid delta]

and shoes

yes

jeans is lauve

jeans if it's cold

shorts if it ain't

[naive skiff]

Jeans are cool

[finite flower]

yall should prolly head to #chat-lounge

[naive skiff]

I never wear shorts

Yep