a little story game?

[light gale]

However, Taroumaru knows the Raiden shogun would immediately kill him so he told Yae to ask Raiden since they are bestie boos

[stable pollen]

She's immediately amused by his response and decides to approach Kujou Sara when she arrives at the shrine, telling her to ask the Raiden Shogun as a favour for her. Saying that it would be a good way to get close with the Raiden Shogun.

[light gale]

Sara rejects the offer and insists yae should ask

[stable pollen]

Yae Miko huffs and leaves the scene, deciding this matter was of trivial importance and went back to her shrine. Leaving Ganyu dead for 2 weeks in the hands of Reddy as nobody batted an eye.

[atomic pebble]

Raiden eventually heard about the news (from sara chickening out)
And thought it was also a trivial matter, much like Yae. So Raiden asked Zhongli to take care of his own nation’s matters

[stable pollen]

Zhongli does not wish to concern himself with his own nation's matters since he completely changed his identity just to not interfere with them. He was also still paying attention to Childe, so he asked Childe if he wished to check the situation.

[atomic pebble]

Childe was too busy handling the Fontaine thing so he asked Arlecchino to do the matters

[light gale]

arlecchino was also busy by planning what to do to the traveler, lyney/lynette and how to steal furina's gnosis. arlecchino then traveled to liyue to ask hu tao to sort out these matters since hu tao is "the boss" of zhongli at the Wangshu Funeral Parlor. hu tao wanted to discuss this matter by scaring everyone using her ghost thingy and wanted to convince everyone except baizhu to chase qiqi around liyue city. arlecchino found this slightly amusing and laughed quietly.

[sturdy pagoda]

BYE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW THIS WENT TO A NORMAL STORY TO A KAVEH X AL HAITHAM FANFIC TO ZHONGLU BLOWING UP THE WORLD TO THIS

[stable pollen]

LMFAO IDK

All I was here for was people passing the news of Ganyu’s death like a hot potato whilst Reddy cries and holds onto her corpse for weeks and months even…

[atomic pebble]

bUT doTtOrE oVerHeaRD and he went back in time using some weird ass mechanic to tell Nahida that instead of telling her some random shit like “the skies of Teyvat are fake”

[light gale]

Nahida obviously being the goddess of wisdom, she knew dottore was lying and told all the archons that teyvats skies are not fake

[atomic pebble]

Then Paimon who had overhead the mess of a conversation decided that being an emergency food could only do so much and she decided to tell Lyney

[light gale]

However, since lyney was in the fatui (as we know from archon quest), he decided to go ask arlecchino for confirmation. Arlecchino said that she hated dottore and so believes the skies of teyvat are not fake. Dottore got mad at lyney since he believed arlecchino and dottore and arlecchino were enemies. Turns out dottore was under control by…

[drowsy chasm]

childe who was using him to get out of jail

[worthy oriole]

then childe got out of jail

[light gale]

And then Childe attacked Fontaine by doing his thing and then Fontaine became a mess of ruins

[hollow coral]

and headed back home to tell zhongli about this

[worldly heath]

but suddenly on the way back home, Childe was kidnapped by a child. Timmie. For the crime of pigeon massacre that morning. Timmie stored Childe in a...

[drowsy goblet]

Jar in order for childe to not escape

[broken vault]

timmie put the jar on the edge of mondstadt's bridge and

[uneven vortex]

let timmies birds eat it in the water

[drowsy chasm]

Then Childe's whale came to kill all the birds after he...

[uneven vortex]

but as the birds were in the stomach of the whale they all turned into explosive birds that killed the whale

[drowsy chasm]

And childe and timmie ate the whale's carcass

[light gale]

But the whale was revived by….

[atomic pebble]

Childe

[uneven vortex]

i think he’s dead by now 💀

[atomic pebble]

Exactly)

[light gale]

Wth 🤦‍♀️

[drowsy goblet]

LMAOOO

After the whale revives, it attacks Timmie however this persons come to the rescue

[light gale]

called zhongli since he cared abt childe

[drowsy goblet]

However the whale ends up swallowing zhongli whole.

[worthy oriole]

and zhongli died

[digital cypress]

and childe died

[uneven vortex]

but timmie had not (next person gets to characterize timmie as a strong person)

[worldly heath]

As for the greatest archon of all pigeons in teyvat does not perish so easily.

[light gale]

||yo what||

anyway

but the traveler had killed all his piegons back in teyvat

[worldly heath]

||Yo yes||

[alpine ingot]

Venti looks at all of this from a far and he think he is just drunk

[light gale]

Jean took care of the problems caused which included…

[alpine ingot]

beating the living shit out of timmie

[atomic pebble]

Timmie cried and ran to Diona’s father in Springvale

[light gale]

unfortunately, diona shot timmie to death

[alpine ingot]

than hu tao showed up to coffin dance timmie out of there

[wispy kindle]

But then the pigeons gathered around timmie and he transformed into a giant bird and flew away

[alpine ingot]

diluc used his burst to kill all of them

||let him die ||

[broken vault]

||JESUS DIONA 💀💀||

[light gale]

||Ikr I’m so good||

[atomic pebble]

Did this just become fucking hunger games)

[alpine ingot]

[worldly heath]

And thus Timmie’s villain arc began…

[ebon totem]

a bunch of ruin guards and hunters surronds monstadt

[light gale]

but diona saves monstadt

hooray

[alpine ingot]

And (zhongli is dead...uhhh....) shogun slashes timmie in half

Spliting teyvat to 2 halfs

[wispy kindle]

And then team up with nahida tokill all the other archons

[light gale]

||this is like the 10th time zhongli was ded but ok ig||

[alpine ingot]

||wanted someone to kill timmie zl was dead and im not the type of guy to bring a dead character back 10 times what is this dbz?💀 ||

[light gale]

||honestly idk at this point loll||

[light gale]

and then venti uses his black hole to suck up all sh-t in teyvat

[alpine ingot]

||holy suck power||

[wispy kindle]

|| y u making this sus||

[light gale]

||dudee i didnt mean it that way and yk that||

[wispy kindle]

|| lol ik 😆||

[drowsy goblet]

and venti is known as the new best archon in teyvat

[sacred lynx]

||BASED STATEMENT OMG||

[alpine ingot]

Than scara stabs venti in the heart from the back of his cheast slowly saying this in ventis ear(an archon?...what a joke u are)

|| had to make it intresting sorry venti lovers||

[maiden iris]

i say die

[alpine ingot]

[wispy kindle]

So scara consumed venti's power and became the new anemo archon

[light gale]

Everyone in Monstadt hated the new Anemo archon

[maiden iris]

they execute scara live and revive venti with a teyvat fried egg because he's just the best ❤️

[sacred lynx]

||thank you jenny ||

[broken vault]

||all hail||

[alpine ingot]

||bunch of venti lovers ||

[atomic pebble]

Venti invites all the archons to mondstadt as a celebration.

Raiden feels a weird connection with the dead puppet so she strikes him with lightning and accidentally revives him

[alpine ingot]

Scara is mad and want to ruin monstad for what they did to him befor he does anthing venti stops him and tries to make piece but....(idk do something )

[maiden iris]

Scara being a bitch cusses venti out and starts another archon war but he gets clapped and burried on a level lower than tomo

(I hope you don't rest in peace)

[alpine ingot]

Scara returns and kills venti again

[maiden iris]

DIE

[alpine ingot]

NO U

[maiden iris]

Venti gets out of his friend's form and takes on another form revives durin scares scara away because hes a bitch and kills durin again and they all live happily ever after

NOW START A STORY WITHOUT KILLING VENTI

I WILLSMASH YOU TO PUECES

[alpine ingot]

Scara get revived he is sorry....so he kisses venti and they get married

[maiden iris]

EW

SOTP

LMFAOOOOOO

[alpine ingot]

[maiden iris]

Venti cheats on scara with me and then they fight and venti calls him a bitch and gets married to me the end ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[alpine ingot]

[atomic pebble]

NEW STORY

Furina is feeling like a little bitch and sues Aether and Paimon for first degree murder in other nations. 🧍

The court case is held now

[alpine ingot]

Aether: lady furina those people atked me first i swear

[sacred lynx]

the pigeons, staring at him:

[broken vault]

timmie emerges from the shadows, cloaked in dark rags that have pigeon wings sewn on the back. he walks slowly, his feet dragging on the floor.

timmie: your honor…

he slams a dead pigeon on the floor.

timmie: does this seem like it would attack the traveler?

[drowsy chasm]

Furina: objection your honor, who are we to take the alibi of a Child! I Focalors the archon of the great nation of Fontaine hereby call this case closed.

[maiden iris]

|| Aether probably feels stupid for this ||

[atomic pebble]

||I can actually hear Furina speaking like that 💀)||

[light gale]

i, focalors, hearby declare call this case immediately closed (as i am furina ofc)

[ebon totem]

more dead pigeons suddenly appear at lady furina's feet and timmie sobs dramatically

[drowsy chasm]

Traveller sneaks by takes them and makes some sweet madame

[alpine ingot]

furina is happy by such move but than she triped and hurt herself so the cort was canceled and furina went to hosital

(Imagine furina with family guy dead posses )

[atomic pebble]

Neuvillette called up Wriothesley and Sigewinne because he didn:r want to go to the hospital because:

Reason 1: The water tasted disgusting there and the doctors didn’t allow them to have the sterile water given to patients.

Reason 2: He’d have to pay mora

Reason 3: He wouldn’t be able to see Wriotheslay there

Hence they asked Sigewinne to heal Furina

[alpine ingot]

as he was walking away he sliped on a feather and broke his back...so they had to get him to hospital and clorinde dragged the angry neuvillete to the hospital

[worthy oriole]

and died

[ebon totem]

then lady furina (while she was on her hospital bed) called her into court into her hospital room and...

[worthy oriole]

died

[drowsy chasm]

Then primordial see rose and drowned all of timmie's birds

[worthy oriole]

and died

[upbeat yew]

Then Timmy cried

[alpine ingot]

Than roof fell on him and he died(WHY IS HE STILL PART OF THIS KQJAHAMAIAG)

[atomic pebble]

A sad pidgeon army carries his dead body to the springvale statue.
Timmie gets revived due to the mondstadt statue of the seven in springvale

[alpine ingot]

||WHY||

[upbeat yew]

Then he sighed

[stable pollen]

then he started to sob and go into a corner and start to grief about the deaths.

[wispy kindle]

And then it rained and it flooded mondstadt

[upbeat yew]

Then the prophecy was fulfilled it was not Fontaine it was mondstadt

[blazing scarab]

THEN THE MYTH THE LEGEND THE MIDNIGHT BATMAN DILUC CAME TO THE RESCUE

[worthy oriole]

and died

[alpine ingot]

Based

[drowsy chasm]

So the knights of favonius cam tohlp then...

[wispy kindle]

But they don't have a boat soo

[cyan star]

they tried to swim but the waters were too horrendous

[worthy oriole]

and died

[blazing scarab]

then jesus (wriothesley) came in walking on water

[alpine ingot]

Than cuz of his thick ass that was too thick he started going downwards into the water

[broken vault]

|| ||

[sacred lynx]

||||

[sacred lynx]

only his asscheeks were visible from the surface of the water

[cyan star]

eventually all that was left of him was his cloak

[broken vault]

|| ||

[worthy oriole]

but he dissapeare

d

and then lyney appears

and then he says

"hehehhe bozos that was all my tricks you all so stoopid l bozos"

and paimon was like

"EHE DE NADAYO"

and then lyney died

and paimon made a grave for himm

[alpine ingot]

1 sentence ....

Why tf u writing an essay for

Anyways paimon gets attacked by geowishap and gets eaten

[blazing scarab]

aether :"oi boi gimme my emergency food back!"

[alpine ingot]

Than lisa show up with hor....tone saying arara

[worthy oriole]

and died

[alpine ingot]

||NOOOOO I WANTED CHAOS||

[blazing scarab]

and then barbara appeared out of nowhere and slapped tf out of the vishap

[alpine ingot]

But she healed the vishap from such weak hit

[worthy oriole]

and died

[drowsy chasm]

stop it with the death

diluc saw and told jean together they went to

[atomic pebble]

Snezhnaya

to acquire allies in order to encounter this foul beast

[worthy oriole]

no

[worthy oriole]

but then dies

[drowsy chasm]

celestia puts a curse on everyone on the world so they cant die anymore

[alpine ingot]

watch hi say and dies to celestia

[blazing scarab]

then thoma rocks up with an army of doggos

[atomic pebble]

The doggos attack celestia and wage war on the behalf of all of Teyvat. The kutta from Sumeru leads the Sumeru army 💀, Baguette leads it from Fontaine and Taroumaru from Inazuma. Together they

[upbeat yew]

DEFEAT CELESTIA and takes over the world and becomes the new gods of the world and brings peace upon the world

[wispy kindle]

With celestia defeated the fatui's next goal was to

[upbeat yew]

Destroy the archons starting with Tsaritsa then a rebellion happened and the result was

[drowsy chasm]

Tsaritsa was one-shot but since they cant die they locked her up (like Nahida) and after

[worthy oriole]

celestias curse died off and nahida died

[arctic peak]

I was playing genshin when I suddenly fell and landed in mondstadt

new story btw

[safe hill]

I landed on a tree and broke my leg. Unable to walk, i crawl down the tree and across the path

[worthy oriole]

but then i felt very sick

and then i died

[arctic peak]

Oh-

[drowsy chasm]

Paimon resurrected but at the cost of

[arctic peak]

Her own life and the traveler fell into deep depression

[upbeat yew]

Then started following traveler but sadness got to the best to him and he died

[drowsy chasm]

Lumine looks upon the body and goes to kill every archon but before she can

[arctic peak]

I request to join her in her conquest out of anger of the death of paimon and traveler

But after I convince her to leave venti alone

[drowsy chasm]

she disagrees and kills her

[upbeat yew]

Then every knight of favonius tries to kill lumine then

[uneven vortex]

but lumine was too quick for them and dodged all their sword strikes

[upbeat yew]

And they all stab each other

[worthy oriole]

and they all died

[drowsy chasm]

lumine then goes to continue her tyranny in liyue but before she can

[arctic peak]

Aether fights her and wins

[drowsy chasm]

aether is dead

[arctic peak]

Oh- then uh

Zhongli reveals his true nature as a shade and yeets her

[worthy oriole]

and she died

[upbeat yew]

Then the heavenly principles creates another cataclysm

[safe hill]

That destroyed all of Teyvat except for Fontaine (its suffered enough within the past 5 months)

[upbeat yew]

Fontaine becomes prosperous then the astral express goes through the barrier of teyvat and they

[safe hill]

Decide to beat up Neuvilette cause they can

[arctic peak]

and then the traveler finds their ticket off of teyvat and joins them

[worthy oriole]

and died

[drowsy chasm]

celestia then decides to remake teyvat as a new

[safe hill]

With Gorou being the Geo Archon cause yes.

[worthy oriole]

And died

[sturdy pagoda]

This is the 1yr anniversary of this chat

[broken vault]

omg

[drowsy chasm]

in replace of gorou navia became the geo archon

[arctic peak]

And zhongli became the head of spina di rosula and I became the traveler because I would love to travel teyvat but how else am I gonna get there besides being taken by the higher ups

[worthy oriole]

And died

[arctic peak]

And I can’t die because I am not a fictional character

[worthy oriole]

and died

[wispy kindle]

So c6 qiqi, c6 kokomi, c6 barbara and c6 baizhu came

[atomic pebble]

And healed every dead creature. (Including gods somehow)

[potent hollow]

them gods got into a war again

[light gale]

zhongli lost unfourtunately

[clear sedge]

Ei won and turned every archon into a dragon

[proud bear]

Everyone. can't cook now

[remote ivy]

Now everyone is dying from malnutrition so Traveler decides to cook a feast with Piamon as the main dish

[light gale]

paimon refuses madly and turns into the unkonown god

[potent hollow]

Paimon destroys everything and everyone and all that remains is an endless void of nothingness.

The end.

[light gale]

there is no enddd

[potent hollow]

what could you possibly make out of an endless void of nothingness?

[light gale]

aha

lemme continue it

[light gale]

somehow nahida revives and starts the life of teyvat again

[proud bear]

She gets infected by the Forbidden Knowledge during the process

[light gale]

u guys stop making it worse

[light gale]

fortunately, she has all the current gi npcs/charas/animals/enemies revived so she took a walk to bubu pharmacy where baizhu healed her

[proud bear]

come on it kinda did make sense tho ._.

[proud bear]

Natlan comes in clutch and revives raiden Makoto

[light gale]

igig

[light gale]

omg natlan i forgot for 2 seconds

[light gale]

and all the dead archons (luckily they didnt start another archon war phew)

[clear sedge]

they all made puppets to represent them while they gang up against the heavenly principles. nahida resurrects king deshret and nabu malikata

[light gale]

wait whos nabu malikata

[clear sedge]

the lord of flowers?? flower girl

[light gale]

the combination of the puppet archons and the current characters formed an alliance with the fatui and the archons recieved their respective gnoses

[light gale]

ohhh herrr right right

[clear sedge]

dman this is so good

[light gale]

idkk im just making thngs up as i go (im trying to make sure no one goes dead again lol)

[clear sedge]

they replaced the real gnosis with fakes

[clear sedge]

when I read this before sounds like hu tao wrote it

[light gale]

lmao

[light gale]

king deshret found out and confronted the tsartisa himself and asked about the fake gnoses. in response, the tsartisa replied that it wasnt her doing but the director of the fatui, II captiano

[clear sedge]

tsaritsa punished the harbingers and takes their delusions

[light gale]

this gets better and better

[light gale]

however, greater lord said that if they were gonna beat the heavenly priniciples, they need their delusions, so she suggested the tsartisa to lower the power of delusioms until they actually fight them

[clear sedge]

childe didn't like that idea, he steals all the delusions and tries to turn himself into a god

[light gale]

ze tsaritsa punshes childe into jail where he cannot use any form of elemental power to break out (note hes too weak without elemental powers so dont say he broke out w pure strength

[clear sedge]

The traveler challenges tsaritsa to a duel in order to get childe out of prison

[arctic peak]

I jump in and tell how the entire original story was supposed to go and that they need to revive kheanriah since they can revive so many people

[clear sedge]

The tsaritsa kills you with one strike

[arctic peak]

I make my theory true right before the strike because I’m an external factor and she becomes kheanriahn and I don’t die and I create a portal back home and say “aight, now do whatcha want. I still gotta go to college”

Imagine the characters reactions if they heard somebody using internet language

[clear sedge]

nuh uh

[broken vault]

[tight totem]

Revives with eggs and gains ultimate power and kills tsaritsa and awaken the heavenly principles

[light gale]

omg what the hell is happening

[worthy oriole]

BAHAH

[clear sedge]

the heavenly principles turn you into a slime

you got reincarnated

[tight totem]

i reincarnated as a slime and became the most powerful monster in tevat

[drowsy chasm]

then became erenn yeager

[proud bear]

then became air

[worthy oriole]

and then i inhaled

[drowsy chasm]

and became eren

[proud bear]

ad than reincarnated as air

[wispy kindle]

wasn't this about genshin

[sacred lynx]

it was

idk what it descended into

[worthy oriole]

LMAOO

[light gale]

and then that oerson recreated teyvat

again

[wispy kindle]

so the heavenly principles no longer exist

[potent hollow]

how is this still going on

[broken vault]

i haven’t a clue

[worthy oriole]

lmao

[sour sapphire]

and decided to fill the world full of cotton candy

[sturdy pagoda]

this was made in like 2023

wild

[sacred lynx]

real why is this alive

[light gale]

klee became a big back and ate all the cotton candy

[potent hollow]

...wowie it's still going..

[worthy oriole]

and then she felt really uneasy and vomited allat out 🗣️