The Divine King

[wise matrix]

Fantastic 😻, kindly send a DM for detailed feedback

[twilit veldt]

Are you still open to feedback?

[dusky needle]

Yeah, please feel free to leave any feedback right here.

[twilit veldt]

Ok, iwill dive in and get back to you.

[sharp zinc]

Bot

[dusky needle]

Wouldn't be surprising

[mild patio]

Are you open to beta reader feedback on this?

[dusky needle]

Leave feedback here. Also, bot.

[mild patio]

Alright i will give the summary of what have read here

It feels like a really solid myth-style origin story Kroni’s journey from abandoned child to king comes through clearly, and the themes of revenge and leadership work well.

I think the main thing holding it back a bit is how much is summarized. Moments like the fight with the Waldaz, the villagers’ reaction, and parts of his rule go by pretty quickly. Letting those play out more as actual scenes could make everything hit harder emotionally.

If you need a indepth feedback on this let me know

[sharp zinc]

MODS

[dusky needle]

<@&510930219276828684>

[summer linden]

!mute @mild patio 10000y gay bot

[calm relic]

🔇 Muted ficto00 for 55 years 51 weeks 7 hours and 12 minutes

If you believe a mute has been issued falsely, please direct message @distant coral or a server admin (Earl) to make your case. Muted members can additionally appeal actions directly to staff in #jail. Failure to follow the correct procedures will only serve to escalate the situation needlessly. :warning:

[regal willow]

How long have you been writing this?

[dusky needle]

I originally wrote is about a year or two ago, but recently did some rewriting.

[regal willow]

Wow this nice.
What inspires you to write?

[main orbit]

oh a bot that has an engagement function

[dusky needle]

Yep. They're getting good.

[regal willow]

Do you think I am a bot?

[small mirage]

@regal willow has just advanced to level 2.

[sharp zinc]

Yes

[dusky needle]

Yes.

[regal willow]

I am not a bot.
And why do most authors and writers thinks all beta reader and editors are always bots?
I mean in Discord servers.

[main orbit]

cause they are lol

swarming like flies lately, here is only that, several per day, it's fascinating

[regal willow]

Yeah, I get why it seems that way lately, but not everyone is a bot you can usually tell just by talking to them.

[regal willow]

About the book are you still in need of feedbacks?

[dusky needle]

Sure, any feedback is appreciated. Provided it's not obviously AI

[regal willow]

Alright do you want it here or in DMs?

[regal willow]

I would just give short summary on what have read in the book.

[regal willow]

The new opening feels way more alive and mysterious I love how you twisted the divine birth into something raw and almost forbidden. It pulls you in immediately with that darker, more poetic tone instead of the standard myth vibe.

[regal willow]

I have a question on what I read. can i ask?

[dusky needle]

Here is good.

[dusky needle]

Go for it.

[regal willow]

What did you think of how Kroni’s relationship with Malri shaped him as a king?

[regal willow]

I would love to go in-depth for the feedback. i don't know if you'd be open to that also?

[dusky needle]

Probably gave him a very "Apex predator" view of power and kingship. You have to be strong to rule, and steward

[dusky needle]

Yeah go for it.

[regal willow]

Alright to be upfront, I do charge for in-depth feedback. Are you open to that?

[small mirage]

@regal willow has just advanced to level 3.

[main orbit]

No economy in server. If you're not a bot, loiter around like a human being in the other channels. It'll be fun to see.

[dusky needle]

Hell no. Nobody's gonna pay for feedback, especially here.