#I need help making with my world building, especially my magic system.

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wet hill
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I am trying to make a magic system that doesn't seem stupid or overly powerful. I want it to be balanced with the person’s intelligence.

The world building I have of this world so far
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rp-B25yOVpH3buD3dxduqSiI-bLNjcygE38NS1A_bhw/edit?usp=drivesdk

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I really need the magic system out the way so I can FINALLY WRITE

wet hill
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I need help making with my world building, especially my magic system.

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I have no idea how I should go about it.

maiden sedge
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People care less about your system and more about how you use them in your story.

wet hill
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Because the size of the summoned spell is still undetermined.

wet hill
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I had a feeling to come back here

alpine crown
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i skimmed through your doc, specificaly the section on how magic works. I think you have a good idea with the magic strings. my logic behind this is actualy that you now have another place ot focus reader attention. its easy to say a character gets exhausted before another in a fight. but if you offer us two characters and one has significantly stronger threads (glad you noted they could be seen as they get stronger) then we know who will last longer in the fight. similar to how sanderson redirected the tension to who has more atium in his book mistborn. we know character A has to come up with a clever trick to win because he's clearly establishe dto be weaker. we and the characters are all aware of it. keeping that consistent is going to be a good place to develop tension.

as for creating scenes where strong characters are clearly weakend, i offer another lesson from mistborn. In the well of ascension in order to get vin's metals beleivably low for the final fight sanderson has her go through an ordeal on which she spent those metals. He also introduced a new method for her to run out of metals quickly. you could have things of this nature in the story to help create that tension for your writing. Such as using the magic to travel a long distance. or the oponenet have a trick to weaken the protagonists strings so he can't cast spells, or having them lose their wand so they can't use their normal trump card spell. these are all ways to get tension in a world of magic. without going super deep into the magic systems mehcanics, and exactly how low on spells they are. thats what i have for ya.

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as for desgining a whole system, you may have to develop some parts as you go along. I recomend a hand written journal as well as a digital one. both is best but one may suffice. use this to record what you've made the magic do in the story as you wirte it. if you need to change things late the notes will help you review past moments in order to make sure you don't contradict yourself or make plot wholes.

wet hill
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I know it's okay to do this with magic types but I have problems with magic costs.

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Because I have a word sustem that is flawed so far.

alpine crown
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ok. what is the flaw do you think?

wet hill
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Because someone could summon a huge weapon for a low cost by simply saying, "Fi foos big sword." It's very possible.

I am now trying to think of a system using words, but what you summon also has a cost depending on the size. Which is quite hard to do.

alpine crown
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math related to mass perhaps.

wet hill
alpine crown
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more mass = more magic to make. it can also be heavier so that means it would be harder to summon or through longer ranges.

wet hill
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Seems easy enough, but then what about the words. I do want to keep the word system as well.

So I have a thought thay might fix it

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Making the new system work while having the old one still present.

alpine crown
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further it could explain why energy and manipulation attacks are the more common casting options if that is the intent fo the story

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ok what u got

wet hill
# alpine crown ok what u got

I can keep the word sytem with certain words, which increases the price of the spell a bit more. Like nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc. But to make word count still matter, things can now be based on word count. 5 words can have a 1.0x multiplier. 10 or 15 words can be a 1.5x. Etc. That is the spell cost

Now there is summoning cost, actually making the object out of magic. Depending on how thick, heavy, or solid you want it to be is how long you hold onto the spell. Like keeping your muscles flex until you're done.

So if you say "Fi foos big rock." And only hold onto the spell for a second it will be weak as the rock will be weak.

The cost will increase drastically for each second you hold onto the spell.

alpine crown
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can i use this system to just say "die" and my foe would die?

alpine crown
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k

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example my brother mentioned

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i think your idea could work there

wet hill
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That would be curse magic, but it's mostly used to cause mis fortune.

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And it can lead to cool moments for a character to charg a spell for a whole minute

alpine crown
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basicaaly conjured materials cost magic based on total mass of an object, and will be weaker if the caster lacks the strength to tense their muscles durring casting. u also have words multiplying magic costs.

alpine crown
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the whole cover me while i charge up works here. and works well

wet hill
alpine crown
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hmm. yeah sounds like you have a fix there. hard to explore without exposition. might need to be delivered in parts to the reader.

wet hill
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Messing up pronouncing a word

Or even getting distracted while casting a spell can have this happen

alpine crown
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good setting for this. gives the excuse needed to teach the reader about it.

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neet. so if you have that figured out were there more details you were trying to hammer out?

wet hill
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Well I plan to add a new magic type later in the story but it might be too powerful

wet hill
alpine crown
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k. whats the main plot? is it just school or is the evil wizard comming?

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when does the new magic come in and why? most importantly can its purpose be acomplished in another way?

wet hill
wet hill
alpine crown
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tell me about the villain.

wet hill
# alpine crown tell me about the villain.

I don't have a set idea for his looks and his motives yet

But the villain is a Half-ditan who thinks people are stupid. He saw the most evil acts committed in front of him for petty things. So he becomes a powerful mage to start his plan to reform the world into his image. But it simply wasn't enough. He needed something that could assure full control.

alpine crown
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hmmm i think you need to work on him more. in stories with villains its usually best to write him first. usually though. you can make him the oposite of the protagonist, or the emodiment of his fatal flaw.

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perhaps in this case if the protagonist wants to be unique then he fights the gravity magic villain who uses well unique magic.

wet hill
alpine crown
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oh

wet hill
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He uses the new magic in people's head, smushing their brain within their own skull

alpine crown
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oh that might be broken

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is that why you are concerned about this new magic?

wet hill
wet hill
alpine crown
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ok. if u go ahead with that maybe it has really short range or else it costs to much. maybe its unique in a way that it cant' use a wand or perhaps the villain is looking for a legendary sceptor to allow him to use it at long range. that happens to be in the school.

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students might be trying to learn it to counter his attacks

wet hill
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But he can't use his natural range. He uses wands with magic filled gems to avoid magic strains. Reducing his range.

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He doesn't appear until later

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In the futer
Like let's say 5 years from the start of the story kinda?

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So I still have time to think about him and stuff

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Also, balance out the magic type before it fully appears.

alpine crown
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ok a bit late for main villain appearance. what are we focused on before then

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well ur going to want to forshadow him earlier so you will want an idea of who he is and what he can do

wet hill
alpine crown
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ok. could be fun to tease his magic in a few places without giving so much info as to create issues.

wet hill
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Exactly

The character know what everyone else knows, except for Alette

alpine crown
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what about the main trio then what do they do for the beginning of this tale

wet hill
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Rafee strings are too brittle and thin to even develop anything

Luka has too much magic, and his string are knotted, making them grow even bigger.

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A magic with the first two main characters can't use it

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Before I can begin writing I need the first chapter.

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And I need a solid idea for the school grounds, I have something in my head for it, hopefully my artist can write it.

alpine crown
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alright. i recommend going over the size of modern day collages to get an idea of how large the school would be and what classes there would be. interestingly you've developed a potential plot where the two protagonists work on overcomming their disabilities in order to make it in the school. it does raise the question on how they got in in the first place though. perhaps they were allowed in as case studies at first witht he condition that if they were able to overcome their disabilities they would be allowed to learn magic.

wet hill
alpine crown
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Doss the school track things other than mystic ability? If not rafee's entry to the school doesn't make sense

wet hill
alpine crown
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Ok so the school has some minor corruption at least then.

It sounds like the first chapter would be focused on Rafee trying to learn magic at all. Maybe looking into a way to strengthen his strings. And Luka is being studied. This means you'll need a researcher who works with one or both of them.

wet hill
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But Rafee already knows how magic works. He just doesn't have the means to use it.

alpine crown
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Ok sounds good so now what are the character dynamics between those three. It's easy for them to meet by with being involved with the same teacher/researcher. But how do they play off eachother? What do they dislike about eachother on first meeting that they grow to admire? Or perhaps the opposite?

wet hill
alpine crown
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Ok why did the rumors start?

What was the reason why the humans and dotsns bullied rafee?

wet hill
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Also lore art (Not the mom though)

wet hill
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Females aren't buff

They are just dominant

alpine crown
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Neet. So who started the rumors and the bullying? Will the first arc of the story focus on that at all?

wet hill
wet hill
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Here are design sketches for older Luka

alpine crown
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He reminds me a little of the protagonist from Eldorado.

So you have an antagonist and a hero for the beginning of the story. It sounds like the antagonists goal is to get a good ranking and thereby social status. Any further development for him? Why does he want the top spot? Who are those other two potential top three? Does he make similar rumors about them? Or are they immune for some reason?

wet hill
alpine crown
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ok it looks like you have an idea, why not start writing with all of these things in mind? see what you can come up with if you have Rafee and the antagonist interact. What would Rafee and Luka talk about when they first met?

wet hill
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Hard to write when I am not sure of everything

alpine crown
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For me at least, I figure a lot of things out by doing a free write. Just going into it. Some people work better woth full outlines though. Helps me think when I write with pen and paper and just get something out.

alpine crown
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Feels good right? What you got?

wet hill
alpine crown
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Yeah but u r going to be ur own worst critique. You'll get more confident as you practice.

What'd you right about?

wet hill
wet hill
# alpine crown Yeah but u r going to be ur own worst critique. You'll get more confident as you...

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1A0x5OwQH3h0PuKhdAEkKrgxSRTCnSUS_UwVzvH8QWgE/edit?usp=drivesdk

Here

But the title is still a work in progress

And we even might have a updated Luka design

alpine crown
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I'll give it read

wet hill
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It's a draft

wet hill
alpine crown
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I'm planning to read it tonight. I started it yesterday but I went to my grandmother's birthday a day then had to help my dad after work this morning

alpine crown
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It's a good start. Some of the racism is a bit more blunt than it really needs to be which can make the book a little preachy but that's something you can fine tune over the drafts

wet hill
alpine crown
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Maybe. But I wouldn't worry about rewriting at this point. Better to keep pushing forward and get a story on the page.

wet hill
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Hmm

wet hill
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curency is still a problem

wet hill
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I have an idea for a demon in my world.

A very intelligent parasite that is weak when its raw form is exposed.

It looks like a weird worm, but its first instinct is to find a host. It usually prays on the nearest living thing to control.

It pounces at an alarming speed to drill right inside the head of their target and starts to spread all over the brain. Absorbing the memories and learning all the things It's host can do.

It covers the head wound with a horn. That's how you can tell when something is a demon.

narrow citrus
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No horns?

wet hill
wet hill
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I am also trying to migrate to bluesky.

astral parcel
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Wow, massive bathroom and beds right next to each other? No separation?

wet hill
astral parcel
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I never join VCs

wet hill
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Rafee redesign