Historical Fiction

[surreal quartz]

This is to put my posts and subjects with vigor then explain it outside. This is where Hank Wilson and Caleb Ahoka also other stories will be discussed in full detail.

Today will be Tommy guns.

Historical Fiction

After WW1, the Tommy guns, invented by Thompson an Army, became used by organized crime and police. By 1940, the army replaced the drum with a magazine clip which Caleb uses on Sicily. Gun was used mainly by NCOs and Officers.

[surreal quartz]

The m-1 garand is one that Caleb used at 1941. Patton described it as the best rifle used by soldiers. The squad learned to use it.

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The BAR is a WW1 rifle that packs a punch. Big Man, a Big Kiowa, has one as he's trained to use it. At the Sicilian beaches, he manages to hold onto it up until Anzio.

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Bad Medicine is armed with a garand and laughs as he looks ruefully in himself.

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How many in one squad having M1 Garand, they would be seven to eight.

[surreal quartz]

Update on chapter, I hopefully post a chapter by July 6th.

[surreal quartz]

Solder for the Prosecution outline
This is changeable as I progressed.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jO40lJBt2pVP1JCxdIZqYQcpVewQK8n0PqVh2B6q92o/edit?usp=drivesdk

[storm pebble]

How do you wear a blue statue?

Also, thrillers / legal cases aren’t really my thing but I hope this works out well

I can’t get over the MC’s name though

“Grindle” is such a phonetically hideous word for me

It sounds like a little cretinous Gollum creature that eats human flesh instead of an awesome hero

[surreal quartz]

It's a patch on the shoulders.

[surreal quartz]

It's the last name for Ulster Scot, so I used it to describe a man made monster

[storm pebble]

It’s your book you can name whoever whatever you want

[surreal quartz]

Thanks.

[storm pebble]

Even to my real Ulster Scot ears tho “Grindle” sounds fucked

[surreal quartz]

The patch belongs to the 77th Infantry division, but you have to wait three or four chapters as to why he earned it.

[storm pebble]

Got it

[surreal quartz]

That benign fear which is dormant, is the quiet man.

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on it's first jump.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Edit...

[trail plover]

It was a rainy day in The English town of Aldbourne. A man wearing a garrison cap waited as he adjusted it on his head. He hated that hat, he prefered a peak hat not a blue, red, and white one. His olive uniform had an eagle badge by his heart and four stripes. An older gentleman came in as the man stood up, they salute one another.

[surreal quartz]

Noted.

[scarlet rivet]

The man in his thirties stepped in as his badge on his garrison cap had a gold leaf.
Your usage of 'as' here is wrong. You are trying to use it in the context of expressing a concurrence of actions, but your 'as' clause has only a statement.

[surreal quartz]

What's the alternative?

[scarlet rivet]

A participial clause.

A man in his thirties, wearing a garrison cap with a gold leaf, stepped in.
Also, what you mean is most likely 'golden', not 'gold'.

[surreal quartz]

Ok

[surreal quartz]

Thanks.

[scarlet rivet]

He saluted as with Strayer returneding it begrudgingly.
As I've mentioned above, 'as' suggests concurrency. In this case, the actions are sequential.
He seemed to have interrupted the major who was questioning the sergeant major’s regimen training.
The captain seemed appeared to be in a hurry.
You have already used 'seem' in the previous sentence. There are a lot of synonims that help you sound less repetitive.
Strayer shouted:, “ What is it, Jerre?”
A colon must be used when a tag precedes a dialogue line.

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on it's first jump.
Note, chapter 2 is almost done.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on it's first jump.
Chapter 2 is almost complete.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Leonidas and his squad are forced into a church to neutralize snipers. Half are against it, but Leonidas reminds them that they are evicting German snipers from the building.

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on it's first jump.
Chapter 3 is Leonidas going the distance in readying his squad for D-Day which is fast approaching now

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Working up the montage.

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on it's first jump.
Chapter 3 is Leonidas going the distance in readying his squad for D-Day which is fast approaching now.
Status: completed.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[scarlet rivet]

Leonidas got out and marched with the captain, but his mood was foul as he wondered why now.
Why now what? Why he marched with the captain? Why his mood was foul?
The captain could've let him be roasted over a fire as he pulled off stunts.
That part I didn't understand at all.
Captain Gross said,“ I didn't save you Leonidas this time as Colonel Sink thinks you did something bad.”
It should be:
Captain Gross said:“ I didn't save you, Leonidas, this time as Colonel Sink thinks you did something bad.”
They went into Colonel Sink’s office as the auburn haired lady in olive drab was typing.
Your prose is oversaturated with 'as'. And in some places it is not needed. 'As' should be used to convey concurrency when it is relevant to actions involved, e.g. "She covered her head as a vase flew over her head." In your example, these two actions have no connection.

[surreal quartz]

Fixed it up.

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on its first jump.
Chapter 4: D-Day is upon them. Leonidas only hopes that they make it in the jump. There is no way back until the job is done.
Status: completed.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The White Devil
Genre Historical Fiction
Summary: A sergeant is tasked to lead a squad on its first jump.
Chapter 5: Hughes finds four men and leads them on a rampage as they must hinder Nazi escape. They must find others to continue destroying part of the Douve bridges.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcMwLY_S2EcanRYkm7xzO2hDvrICI-5eP7YOfqeo1Os/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Raising the cane is about now.

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There's a slight pause on writing until Storm's over.

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Chapter 5 is going to be bigger than expected.

[surreal quartz]

Working on a side project.

The Bad Deal
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie is going home to find his wife and children okay. The Cherokee war is coming to a fever pitch, and both sides want to settle old scores. Meanwhile, Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal through a friend and faced a wrathful ghost.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Working on a side project into chapter 2.

The Bad Deal
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie is going home to find his wife and children okay. The Cherokee war is coming to a fever pitch, and both sides want to settle old scores. Meanwhile, Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal through a friend and faced a wrathful ghost.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[storm pebble]

this is very dialogue heavy

im immediately having a lot of trouble keeping up with all of the characters youre namedropping

you don't even really describe their appearances so theyre just identical blobs in my head which makes them even less memorable

[surreal quartz]

I'm really sorry because I have trouble discussing the skin tone, handsome and beauty of Cherokee men and women.

[surreal quartz]

Any tips to make it not a blob?

[scarlet rivet]

What do you mean by a blob?

[surreal quartz]

He means no change.

Like same people

[scarlet rivet]

By describing their physical traits. How else?

[surreal quartz]

Okay, I'm going to describe Wahya as beautiful though most of Jamie's enemies equate her to homely.

[scarlet rivet]

"Beautiful" is not a physical trait, it is an appraisal.

[surreal quartz]

I going to spoil it because it sounds weird.

||Wahya had reddened cheeks that seem like apples. Her lips are rosey red, and her eyes are dark brown which never makes Jamie forget who she is.||

I think that her face is round and attracted Jamie to old times of love and cherishment.

[surreal quartz]

Fixed it up some.

[pallid raven]

i think the problem is not the dialogue heavy, but there´s a lot of characters involve in just to few pages, not only directed involve in the action, but a lot of names of people and their tribes and families, you can have many characters but having that amount of names concentrated in so little amount of pages it makes it difficult to track was going on and who is who and with who

[surreal quartz]

Working on it.

[surreal quartz]

I want to finish the story, but the characters can't be cut.

[pallid raven]

Then once you have the story finished you should spread they showing when they will be needed to the plot, or at least spread more their aparitions throught the story

[surreal quartz]

Dragging Canoe doesn't need an introduction because he is a scarred warrior that is protecting his tribe.

[supple depot]

@surreal quartz Which one will I read through?

[surreal quartz]

One sec

Working on a side project into chapter 3.

The Bad Deal
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie is going home to find his wife and children okay. The Cherokee war is coming to a fever pitch, and both sides want to settle old scores. Meanwhile, Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal through a friend and faced a wrathful ghost.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

It's rough in the Mohawk, Creek/Muskogee, and Cherokee meeting section.

[surreal quartz]

This one ☝️

[surreal quartz]

@supple depot?

[supple depot]

Ayt. I'mma check.

[supple depot]

Well the opening line could be much stronger if you used "the" instead of "a," I think.

Some of the dialogue is hard to follow. Like I need to read twice to be sure who is speaking. Specifically, that last exchange in the first chapter.

I do feel like the dialogue is realistic once I know who is talking. I can't say for sure given I am not familiar with how this actual culture converses and I'm depending on established portrayals already in my head (so stereotypes, potentially), but I can see people talking that way.

That said, I kind of feel like not much happens in the first chapter. I feel like if the state of things before and after a scene ends are the same, then more things need to happen.

I'll read through chapter 2 after work cuz my break's over.

[surreal quartz]

I want it to feel like dialogue and friendly chat.

[supple depot]

Right, but there still has to be change that occurs. Banter for banter's sake doesn't progress anything.

Or if it doesn't progress the plot, it should establish character traits or setting at least.

You do portray this feeling of the characters being at ease, which is good if they're established, but not necessarily a strong hook.

There are probably different ways to approach it, but if you open with "Didn't you die at the station, friend?"

I as a reader would wonder "whoa. We're opening with a guy having survived something he shouldn't have."

Then you proceed with describing who said it and setting the mood of the conversation and how the fire is warm, and the smoke smells like the old wood and tinder used to start the blaze or something...

I'd be like "Dude just survived something he shouldn't have and then just shrugs it off and is in casual conversation. Whoa."

And then break up the dialogue with insights into how he's feeling, what he's thinking before he lets words out of his mouth.

And yeah, I get that Bear is like "they couldn't kill me," but in the moment he was held hostage, he didn't know that. So we could get insight into how he felt at the time as he thinks on it.

I think the only part of the dialogue that didn't flow right was the introduction of the characters' names. Though I'm not sure I have the experience to identify how to make that go better.

[surreal quartz]

I placed banter at the end of the chapter to show tension because neither side but a couple trust Jamie.

The Patriot side thinks of him as Simon Girty, and the few Cherokee think that he went over to their enemies.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Girty

[supple depot]

Something about the banter to close off the first chapter makes it feel like there's little progress from the state of things at the start of it.

Might be the lack of prose.

Also, character descriptions, by the way. Like with Sever. In most cases, it's better to have the character described before they deliver their first line. It seems you drew attention to his greying hair mid-line.

Normally, drawing attention to a detail on a character mid-dialogue means the detail is relevant to what is happening... which is not really the case for pointing out his grey hair.

[surreal quartz]

I'll work on Sever later.

[surreal quartz]

Mohawks call him Corn-eater. The older Cherokee called him Stubborn Bear, Deer-eater and Corn-eater sometimes.

[surreal quartz]

"Jamie's blood rushed to his head. The breath in his lungs was quickening and hot. His hand shook while heaving the tomahawk from its sheath. The blade was bloodless now, but it made its wolfish work among the Chickasaw. His rage etched on his face while the Muskogee warrior prepped his defense."

"The Muskogee warrior feared losing his indentured servant that he worked so hard to capture. While he pulled out his war club, his face was etched with malice over a freed interloper who was telling him his business. There would be no mercy between those two."

"A magnificent, white nag rode between them. Its rider was a self-styled dandy with a mix of European clothing and a feathered green turban. It made Alexander's demeanor stand out from the rest as a dandy-old chief. Nobody cared to question him when his sisters were close by."

[surreal quartz]

Working on his identity as Red Wolf among the Muskogee who revere him as a fierce warrior.

[surreal quartz]

Working on a side project into chapter 4.

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie is going home to find his wife and children okay. The Cherokee war is coming to a fever pitch, and both sides want to settle old scores. Meanwhile, Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal through a friend and faced a wrathful ghost.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Keeping stakes going with false starts to his warpath. It comes when Jamie finally uses his tomahawk and kills both militia and their native allies. After that point, he can't be an interpreter anymore for Greene as he raised his tomahawk in anger and drew first blood.

[surreal quartz]

I need help in editing this.

"Mother is dead,” Ann replied. “She died four years after father's death, and I am sorry that no one…”"

This is the edited one:

"Mother is dead after the Oneida plundering of Tiononderoge and Canajoharie,” Ann replied. “She died a year after father's death and the start of Joseph Brant's war, and I am sorry that no one…"

[surreal quartz]

First unedited end. Caitlin Douglas is waiting for her husband to return, but she takes another husband after the long absence. She is finally known by the Sullivan expedition of his and Jamie's death and dies in grief because her beloved son is no more.

In the edited version, she's waiting for them to return as Joseph Brant travels to London. She wants them both home to head to Canada, but news comes from Orisky that Mohawk Dan Douglas is no more. She waits for Jamie until she's driven to Onondaga by the Oneida. She dies in grief that her son, Jamie, is lost which is further from the truth.

[surreal quartz]

I will go with the second one later.

[surreal quartz]

Jamie's brother is married to an adopted daughter of the Deer clan.

[storm pebble]

https://tenor.com/view/hog-exploding-exploding-hog-funny-idiot-gif-13702011850125732811

[surreal quartz]

What's got you exploding?

[surreal quartz]

Outline for Ann Douglas:
Summary: Ann is dealing loss and war between Iroquois civil war and American Revolution as her world turns upside down.
Looking for critiques.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1APDhdYJDD7dCpxneAcI88_RI2rMbzctiyQ4mkZMBqq8/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Working on adoption tidbit in chapter 4.

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie is going home to find his wife and children okay. The Cherokee war is coming to a fever pitch, and both sides want to settle old scores. Meanwhile, Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal through a friend and faced a wrathful ghost.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Reference ideas.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Han_Yerry

[surreal quartz]

Working on chapter 5 now.

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie is going home to find his wife and children okay. The Cherokee war is coming to a fever pitch, and both sides want to settle old scores. Meanwhile, Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal through a friend and faced a wrathful ghost.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Used a reference to Simon Girty, a notorious frontiersman and Native American linguist who helped the native Americans revolt against the US.
https://weelunk.com/mostly-true-story-simon-girty/

[surreal quartz]

I'm pleased to announce that we are coming to a pending point for Jamie Douglas in the snow clash.

[surreal quartz]

Jamie recalls a tale to forget the ordeal. He recounts his aunt going out of her way while he was accidentally kidnapped to be handed over to strangers by Guyasuta and Old King.

[surreal quartz]

Jamie is staring at the burnt town at first, but it was not his. His was a ghost town which spooked him to death.

[surreal quartz]

Mohawk Valley is supposed to be paradise lost which is lost to him.

[surreal quartz]

I want to portray Wahya more than just a wife.

[surreal quartz]

Stubborn Bear in his later years heads to Arkansas territory as Osage were making trouble and a chance to make amends for the Creek war. His hair grays as its time for the season of a slow end.

[surreal quartz]

Debating that an idea of Stubborn Bear meeting his death in 1840 Texa which is tested repeatedly. He is sent by Arbuckle in secret exile while contending with savage war hawks. The raid finally breaks him.

[surreal quartz]

At the start, Jamie is fed up and leaves reservation for Arbuckle to "survey Texas", but he gets "recruited" at San Antonio as an interpreter despite the fact that his Spanish is diplomatically awful and knows Indian hand signs. He is busy with other things.

He takes the job of interpreter because his friendship with Houston saves him a week in jail. Yet, he hears those screams outside which fills his bones with fear.

[surreal quartz]

Ruth "Pretty Fawn" Jones is a character for the Creek war story.

Ruth is running away from Red Sticks and bumps into Stubborn Bear as he lords his woods. He apologizes and feigns that he wasn't aware of her coming. He sees her pursuers who try to take her away. They insist that she is defying the prophet, but the MC wants to challenge it.

Stubborn Bear protects her by stating that the Red Sticks are trespassing on his land. Junior arrives and takes a liking to her later which Stubborn Bear wanted.

[surreal quartz]

Then Deer woman appears which Jamie starts drinking again after apologizing to Wahya profusely. Wahya, Susan Blackwell, is like what got into him. Carrie complains that Wahya's woods are haunted with the deer woman. The culprit was Sally because she was scaring away Red Sticks and gave her father PTSD.

[surreal quartz]

Before the deer woman incident, Jamie was embroiled in troubling nations when Tecumseh and the Prophet went around spreading revolt and rebellion. It didn't sit well with the Ridge who threatened Tecumseh to not do it at home. Jamie is "recruited" as an interpreter when the world starts burning.

[surreal quartz]

Stubborn Bear( Jamie Blackwell) feels upset especially losing William Wells and leaning to neutrality. He manages to save civilians despite problems and rescuing some strangers along the way, and he retires to his wife's estates to recuperate for his wounds. He refuses to be persuaded to war on either faction.

[surreal quartz]

I want Stubborn Bear to revisit his demons while rescuing the captives from the Comanches. He becomes an animal and tries to save them in his final act. The warriors sadly admired that it wasn't his war but couldn't leave the women and children alone.

[surreal quartz]

Working on criticism of Young Minko as a deuteragonist.

His main goal is like that of his tribe: survival. His tribe takes captives of females and children as he wants a wife from the raid. His clashes with the Chickamauga Cherokee are more unfortunate than the Muskogee because they were friends once. He finally gets the wife of a Choctaw captive and slowly quits the war because he hates Big Earl and Mad Willie with animosity.

[surreal quartz]

I'm interested in ideas how people use superstitious stuff like Black Beard and use it to scare gullible people. So does Sally wear antlers on her head with string or wear a deer skull?

[surreal quartz]

Well, I was thinking about a way to do a prank where the youngest daughter pranks everyone wearing deer antlers cap and deer fur at the legs.

[surreal quartz]

Hit a snag because I want to push Stubborn Bear over in a rage when he kills Mad Willie.

They used one of his sisters as bait after Stubborn Bear got betrayed. He decided to take his sister north to get his friends to escort her home. He eventually kills Willie who was bragging his role in capturing his sister.

[surreal quartz]

Before that, he was a proud father and went with his friends as an interpreter.

[surreal quartz]

Got a summary for the son: Son of Long Knife.

In the cursed plains of Texas, James "Jamie" Blackwell Jr. goes West after tragedy to get some of the Cherokee home. Two Comanche lancers asked him to talk to the Rangers at San Antonio where he goes against his better judgement. He finds a beautiful, Comanche widow and trouble beyond his comprehension which he should have listened to his father's last words to stay in Cherokee territory.

[surreal quartz]

May change it to Young Minko saving her because it builds on his deuteragonist. He goes on to cheat death until the battle of the Holy ground.

Readjusting the Creek war except Ruth Jone's story, Jamie is secretly helping White Sticks in fighting through posing as a musket runner. He hears from home in October that his Creek friends at Mimms are gone. He too decides to go to war and break his neutrality stance by scalping his first foe.

[surreal quartz]

Jamie uses a bow and arrows when he finds Ruth on his creek. He doesn't use the musket because he can't spare musket balls which is expensive.

[surreal quartz]

Working on chapter 9 now.

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie Blackwell after being lied to, find his family in the living. He decides to settle old scores as the Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal against his father like friend and faced a wrathful ghost now. The only monster worse than American Indians to the villains is a White Mohawk refugee with a resolve as deep as the bad Chickamauga river.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[merry vine]

So, these are all part of a series? Nice. What time are they set in?

[surreal quartz]

1780s to 1790s, I'm hoping to get to 1812 to 1814.

[surreal quartz]

The MC is a White Mohawk refugee which under Cherokee law is eligible for enrollment like the Shawnee and Lenni-Lenape clans that have fled there too.

[surreal quartz]

The first chapter is meant to have no excitement because he knows his friend and doesn't want to appear traitorous.

[merry vine]

Excuse my lack of attention, but where to begin?

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 1

[merry vine]

What should I read as my introduction to your series?

[surreal quartz]

This, because it sets up the protagonist as trying to figure out the fates of his family.

[merry vine]

Stubborn Bear Chronicles, right?

[surreal quartz]

Yes sorry
It's been a long day. I hope to add more to chapter 9 until I am happy.

[merry vine]

I read Chapter 1, so far. Notably laconic writing style, can be a little challenging to keep track of perspective, but it seems to be an old-school Western, and I like that. Looks like there's a prisoner exchange going on between two warring parties (Native Americans and Blue Coats), and the protagonist is a translator with allegiance on both ends. Intriguing so far!

[surreal quartz]

Thanks
It's sort of western as it used to be the Western Frontier until the Jefferson Land purchase.

[surreal quartz]

How's the next few chapters?

[merry vine]

Ah, dang. Forgot to continue. Sorry! Will give them a look now!

[surreal quartz]

Sorry...

[merry vine]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCoP32KXrNM

Might as well listen to this while reading!

[surreal quartz]

I suggest Promontory and the Gael.

[merry vine]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwiwIFJv06M

Now, it's more like this!

This game has the coolest western soundtrack I've ever heard in a game.

[surreal quartz]

Cool, you listen to Spaghetti western music?

[merry vine]

I only really know Morricone's work.

[surreal quartz]

That's the one I love with silhouette of doom, wild bunch, and Second Haunting.

[surreal quartz]

The village attack is supposed to be a breaking point that he chooses a side.

[merry vine]

Mm. I don't mean to sound insulting, but it's a struggle to get invested, because you only show what's going on, but never elaborate on the feelings of our characters, and you don't seem to give readers a chance to get to know them.

[surreal quartz]

I'm trying. It's hard because I get conflicting answers, and I move on due to burn out...

For now, I'm going to focus on finishing up the story. Then I work on emotions.

[merry vine]

Ah, understood!

[surreal quartz]

If you notice scalpings, clubs, or tomahawks, they are universal at this point in the story.

[surreal quartz]

I'm going to take your suggestion and add a little emotion to sell it.

[surreal quartz]

What did you think of Young Minko so far?

[merry vine]

Not there yet!

I'm also gonna recommend using headings in Google Docs to mark out all of your chapters for easy navigation.

[surreal quartz]

What is that?

[merry vine]

https://support.google.com/docs/answer/116338?hl=en&co=GENIE.Platform=Desktop

I used it in my own document to great effect.

[surreal quartz]

Mark page numbers, should be on 24.

[surreal quartz]

Finished chapter 9 now.

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie Blackwell after being lied to, find his family in the living. He decides to settle old scores as the Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal against his father like friend and faced a wrathful ghost now. The only monster worse than American Indians to the villains is a White Mohawk refugee with a resolve as deep as the bad Chickamauga river.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

I added emotions to some places, but I finished chapter 9.

[merry vine]

All righty. Read chapter 3. Looks like Jamie's picked a side.

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 5, the side chooses him though he's allowed to translate for Mohawk. You realized that it was mainly to find answers on one mother who bore him.

[surreal quartz]

What do you think of the protagonist's sisters?

[merry vine]

There are so many!

I only remembered Ana, since she was the bad news bearer regarding the fate of their mother.

[surreal quartz]

It was a sad reunion, but he saw his three sisters.

[surreal quartz]

Do you see Jamie "Stubborn Bear" Blackwell as a terrible character or someone who is struggling with loss?

Terrible as in evil

[merry vine]

He's a human being who's caught between a rock and a hard place and is trying to hop out.

[surreal quartz]

Thanks, I had trouble portraying it.

[surreal quartz]

Debating on the breed of boar hound for the time period.

[merry vine]

How about buckwheat bread? 😛

Just messing. It's breed.

Jokes aside, you're likely better informed than me. I can find horse breeds that fit any country, but with dogs, I'm drawing a blank.

[surreal quartz]

Sorry, blood hound it is.

[merry vine]

Were they around at the time?

I'm also curious if the American quarter horse was a thing back then. If so, then that would be the horse of choice for the blue coats.

[surreal quartz]

I'm quoting this.
"The development of the Quarter Horse traces back to the 1600s."

[merry vine]

And the natives? Probably the kiger mustang and related breeds.

Spirit was a kiger mustang.

[surreal quartz]

https://practicalhorsemanmag.com/blog/cherokee-horse-history/

I know that they were stolen quarter horses or Irish warm bloods.

[surreal quartz]

I found this interesting.
https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1728/pets-in-colonial-america/

[surreal quartz]

@merry vine sorry for the ping.

I want to set up the minor character Ruth Jones, a mix Muscogee woman. She's like being chased until she trips into the stream. A boar attacks her, but it drops dead. Then she sees a figure with reddish brown hair on horseback.

[merry vine]

A boar? In late 18th century North America?

They were only imported, but I don't know when. Or are those more like feral pigs?

[surreal quartz]

Feral hogs existed besides horses thanks to Spain, Britain, and Franch

[merry vine]

Right, so feral domestic pigs.

[surreal quartz]

Ruth sees Jamie by a red horse and becomes fearful while he kneels by her. He's more curious about why she's far from home than being upset about trespassers.

[surreal quartz]

That's Jamie's supper.

[merry vine]

He'd better use that lard for frying later!

[surreal quartz]

Big Owl steals it during the deer woman incident. Nobody is talking except Big Owl's wife who rants that Sally went too far with the joke.

[surreal quartz]

Someone gets it lol.

The woman doesn't believe that the quiet hunter is Redwolf the mythic warrior of song. Ironically, she was expecting his rifle more.

[surreal quartz]

Stubborn Bear over the years has a herd of bay colored mares, and he likes the color and sturdiness of the beasts. His wife keeps livestock and a big farm work by servants thanks to Nancy Ward's influence.

Jamie doesn't like extra baggage but his brother because they bled together. He is against taking servants on the campaign because they die in the raids.

[surreal quartz]

Been busy on edits.

[surreal quartz]

This is a letter that I want to haunt the protagonist.

Dear ||Earl,||
I regret to inform you that the wolf has cheated us. If you read this now, you are in grave danger and should put your house in order. The animal has outwitted everyone including his foes. I don't know if Young Minko is interested in saving your hide. I pray that your death is swift.
Unfortunately yours,
General Anthony Wayne

[surreal quartz]

@merry vine what do you think of the letter? I based it off the letter of Napoleon's escape.

[merry vine]

Sounds pretty vindictive!

[surreal quartz]

||Reply when you can|| Everything is a chess board, and Young Minko knows that the wolf outmaneuvered him and is going to die.

[surreal quartz]

Jamie Blackwell is a very angry warrior and a tough man. Imagine getting close to him and seeing that he's a simple frontiersman on the wrong side of war. Even Ruth is marveled at him, she wonders if he's the warrior Redwolf who slayed one of her kin over the treatment of his cousin.

[surreal quartz]

Working on chapter 10 now.

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie Blackwell after being lied to, finds his family in the living. He decides to settle old scores as the Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal against his father in law and faced a wrathful ghost now. The only monster worse than American Indians to the villains is a White Mohawk refugee with a resolve as deep as the bad Chickamauga river.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[merry vine]

You should put this in your opening message, by the way. That way, people will be able to open it more easily.

[surreal quartz]

I will make another one.

[full birch]

@surreal quartz Which one is it, and how long is it?

[surreal quartz]

#1338601710234632213 moved it here.

[surreal quartz]

☝️

[surreal quartz]

The Kelloch Widow
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction short
Summary: A widow is auctioned off. Her family offers a stipend as an incentive for the suitor to bid on her. One does win through his brother and exudes such a mysterious aura that he helps her to reconnect with her tribe in which she's torn from.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FLKlo07gprtbVhSAnVdyezpwWa845V6OGCF-dB1IWW0/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Press hold here.

I have an idea of a mountain man helping a widow on his way back to the fort.

[jade panther]

If you market this as an enemies-to-lovers romance I reckon it could do numbers

[surreal quartz]

What's the other one? Also, it can't work because they were with respective allies, and she didn't know because his hair got shorter.

I am thinking opposites attract.

[surreal quartz]

New outline

The Bear of Texas
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction short
Summary: A Creek War veteran gets roped into this war. He survives a fort siege to find his lost wife alive, and he hears that his recent wife is dead. Shame and regret add to his soul as the people look to him since his exploits and bear killing. Sometimes, he complains that his name Bear McCrea is nothing but a plague while reconnecting to his "dead" wife.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oGLXlkriKS_ZjViF6dWk_lM-DCN5mmeGz4Nd0BtN5OQ/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The Kelloch Widow
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction short
Summary: A widow is auctioned off. Her family offers a stipend as an incentive for the suitor to bid on her. One does win through his brother and exudes such a mysterious aura that he helps her to reconnect with her tribe in which she's torn from.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FLKlo07gprtbVhSAnVdyezpwWa845V6OGCF-dB1IWW0/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Short.

In a quaint cottage, there exists a writer. He cares little for outside politics or feminism in which he crafts his beloved stories. By the fire, he edits it while reversing Anglo-Saxon and Gaelic languages to fit his dwarves, men and elves. He never tells us Orcish's speech, but it's not needed. He again goes over by lamp light and smokes his pipe tobacco as he thinks of ways to add his hobbies of subtlety in the books. Again, the writer is happy in his country cottage smoking his pipe tobacco and drinking his beer while he plots new stories of tragedy or triumph.

[surreal quartz]

Title: The White Lipan
Genre: Historical Fiction short
Summary: A widow meets a violent adopted son of Lipans. They embarked on a wild ride across Texas which leaves everything in death as Gray Wolf leaves his foes dead.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-JPjAi3lTFC0-Bh0hhrh7LCW0o27W09NAi3ZkINthfE/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Title: the Lenape Scout
Genre: Historic Fiction Short
Summary: Daniel Munsee is a great hunter and warrior with a kind and mischievous demeanor. He visits his brother John Gilead who dies in the massacre with the other militia men. Daniel suffers from it and watches the peaceful town unravel until they kicked out and forced to seek refuge with the Oneida. Daniel finds love and a new perspective on life through helping his brother's widow and children in the upheaval along the way.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kd8NxZlmlJBV0kUGpnarA8VUKhxglFMJVYP5kqjXrP8/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Edit: Chapter 1 is finished.

Title: the Lenape Scout
Genre: Historic Fiction Short
Word Count: 1300( 373 chapter 2 atm and 927 in chapter 1)
Summary: Daniel Munsee is a great hunter and warrior with a kind and mischievous demeanor. He visits his brother John Gilead who dies in the massacre with the other militia men. Daniel suffers from it and watches the peaceful town unravel until they are kicked out and forced to seek refuge with the Oneida. Daniel finds love and a new perspective on life through helping his brother's widow and children in the upheaval along the way.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kd8NxZlmlJBV0kUGpnarA8VUKhxglFMJVYP5kqjXrP8/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Title: The Mad Fix
Genre: Historical short
Summary: Jack Yarry is challenged to fool the French, Huron and Abenaki to save the widow. Jack does one thing that he should never do: fall in love. He struggles to be insane in a mad hope to save her and her family.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ruVySkUB0uItOg8etCyCkA_e3Zh-N5dcF-ILtIkqeq8/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The idea came from this.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susannah_Willard_Johnson

[surreal quartz]

Edit: Chapter 2 is still in writing phase.

Title: the Lenape Scout
Genre: Historic Fiction Short
Word Count: 1300( 373 chapter 2 atm and 927 in chapter 1)
Summary: Daniel Munsee is a great hunter and warrior with a kind and mischievous demeanor. He visits his brother John Gilead who dies in the massacre with the other militia men. Daniel suffers from it and watches the peaceful town unravel until they are kicked out and forced to seek refuge with the Oneida. Daniel finds love and a new perspective on life through helping his brother's widow and children in the upheaval along the way.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kd8NxZlmlJBV0kUGpnarA8VUKhxglFMJVYP5kqjXrP8/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Trying to iron it out.

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 2 is done.

[surreal quartz]

Adding these for Grey Wolf.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/464754396710830091/1412506512449994864/ea8f218597f20f21ff43e839db2a5026.png?ex=68b88ab3&is=68b73933&hm=3af61067cad282158c9681b07de9f080ab3008d2034d7bc58fcb62ccc2918cdd&

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/464754396710830091/1412506991070416946/29107987-ef44-42a5-8313-aeee01227420-1000.png?ex=68b88b25&is=68b739a5&hm=7f1b4c15f229c55ad0bd707bfd31661e5ccef5af64916cf3c5d0cef4c8188947&

Very thankful for BP's images.

[surreal quartz]

Edit: Chapter 4 is still in writing phase.

Title: the Lenape Scout
Genre: Historic Fiction Short
Word Count: 1300( 373 chapter 2 atm and 927 in chapter 1)
Summary: Daniel Munsee is a great hunter and warrior with a kind and mischievous demeanor. He visits his brother John Gilead who dies in the massacre with the other militia men. Daniel suffers from it and watches the peaceful town unravel until they are kicked out and forced to seek refuge with the Oneida. Daniel finds love and a new perspective on life through helping his brother's widow and children in the upheaval along the way.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kd8NxZlmlJBV0kUGpnarA8VUKhxglFMJVYP5kqjXrP8/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The Greycoat Apache Outline
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Western/Historic fiction
Summary: After leaving a losing war, Grey Wolf Grayson is off on another revenge quest. He goes around killing Union Indians for his fallen friend while a captive and two others are rescued. He is torn between helping her plight and seeking revenge for injustice.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ngUAqw-RFkdRNs60QvujaJ-Kqttw2Y2vB1C2Yi75k9Y/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Thinking in the third one, Grey Wolf kills a couple of Comancheros with the cavalry troop.

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 1 is being edited.

Title: Coming of the White Lipan
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Western and Historic short
Summary: Grey Wolf becomes tangled with a stubborn lady in his revenge quest. He's after Red Fool Wolf and doesn't want to be burdened by the woman's plight despite her persistence to be with him. However, his quarry becomes so close that he could cut it.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F3F4Jz6kjE1GzB5PEGSqb0ZWkhWSi5QeD2r9BlJ6c48/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

@jade panther

[surreal quartz]

I want Grey Wolf to be mysterious, but he has tricks under his sleeves.

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 6 is being edited.

Title: Coming of the White Lipan
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Western and Historic short
Summary: Grey Wolf becomes tangled with a stubborn lady in his revenge quest. He's after Red Fool Wolf and doesn't want to be burdened by the woman's plight despite her persistence to be with him. However, his quarry becomes so close that he could cut it.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F3F4Jz6kjE1GzB5PEGSqb0ZWkhWSi5QeD2r9BlJ6c48/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Thinking of a comanche scout fiction.

[surreal quartz]

The Bluecoat Comanche Outline
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: A bluecoat Comanche and civil war veteran makes his money as an interpreter. He returns with horses as he wants one Cheyenne woman. He's rebuffed which sets off a discovery of chaos and the blurry lines of the frontier war.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D30BMEtvCEXbIyALEF3LmSwmnXywVOzDPTw79QTEkok/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

New story outline of Ol' Blue Soldier
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ewpBBuP958rqLA4FQb9L4ieakIpcwgwvzgd_jiom4Fw/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 4 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 5 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 6 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 7 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 8 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 9 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The Bluecoat Comanche Outline
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1D30BMEtvCEXbIyALEF3LmSwmnXywVOzDPTw79QTEkok/edit?usp=drivesdk

Bad Memories Outline: A Bluecoat Comanche Outline
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is at his wits end and comes home to obscurity. He saves a friend and slowly goes on a path to reconciliation as he becomes close to her and his uncle.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uVpZ3xLcpO7Z9w9ss9mkjGvSxjYhMqczFep0gT8VcYY/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 10 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 11 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

I'm taking a break and coming back to it later.

[surreal quartz]

@sick dirge I got a description of Wild Eyes.

The rider rode his painted horse close. He wore a nice bluecoat despite age, orange moccasins, tan breeches with a blue trim and a blue breechcloth while his dark hat sat on his head. His hair was long and not braided as he lowered his rifle.

[surreal quartz]

Needs work?

[sick dirge]

The content doesn't, but how it's written needs work

[surreal quartz]

Thanks.

Edited:

The rider rode his painted horse close to the Kiowa. He wore a neatly weathered bluecoat, bright orange moccasins, blue trimmed tan breeches, and a red trimmed blue breechcloth while his dark hat sat on his head. His hair was long and not braided as he lowered his rifle. He stared coldly at him.

[sick dirge]

If you don't want to change much, I suggest some very minor changes - maybe something like:

The rider rode his painted horse close to the Kiowa. He wore a weathered bluecoat, neatly cared for, bright orange moccasins, blue trimmed tan breaches and a blue breechcloth edged in red. A dark hat sat on his head and his hair was long and unbraided. He lowered his rifle and stared coldly at the Kiowa.

Assuming that last him is the Kiowa dude. and you probably shouldn't use trimmed twice in the same sentence.

[surreal quartz]

Ok

[surreal quartz]

Meant the rider sorry.

[sick dirge]

That's cool dude, but maybe clarify the who's glaring at who

[surreal quartz]

Fixed it.

The next chapter is called Denied Bridal Price because it's supposed to reflect the idea of horses being used to pick one's spouse out.

The name is not set in stone though.

[surreal quartz]

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 1 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 3 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 12 is done.

Ol' Blue Soldiers
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Three raid survivors are lost in the Indian territory. They ride ponies that one scout stole from nearby. They witnessed the massacre and aftermath that nobody understands or will understand later on.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nTYIKSxpEsyCiKogBEUfCWROXaONIo_An-9CvmeK8mo/edit?usp=drivesdk

Finished

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 4 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The Exiled Spartan Outline
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Our Spartan friend is exiled for not being taken prisoner. Instead of being a trembler, Brasidas' men humiliate him and convince him to fight for his friends which he does. He casts everyone in town in his mind to the rocks except his new friends with Brasidas' army. He begins his path of revenge on the Athenians and the traitor.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/12iA3fGktTWGw58xz6Jtfpcf3LkcpbMAoTCOQ1l71x-4/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 5 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 6 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 7 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 8 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 9 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 10 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 11 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 12 is almost done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[flint beacon]

@surreal quartz Are you still open for feedback?

[surreal quartz]

Sure

Here preferably

[surreal quartz]

Chapter 12 is done.

The Bluecoat Comanche: Greasy Grass
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical short
Rated: Adult
Summary: Wild Eyes is a veteran of the civil war and interpreter for Fort Larned garrison. Right now, his potential wife's father in law refuses the match which leads to a wild adventure in killing his father's enemies.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kDKEmkpNeHDz7Oc7owiOc-gy21CCaSHrE-W6Q9vQAys/edit?usp=drivesdk

[warm meadow]

Heyy @surreal quartz
I'd like to share feedback on your work.
Are you open to that?

[surreal quartz]

Ok

On here

[sick dirge]

<@&510930219276828684> ! Guards!

[ebon mountain]

!warm @agile bay

[fallow wagon]

!mute @warm meadow 168h Reason: Likely bot behavior

[hollow swan]

🔇 Muted vertex_r for 1 week

If you believe a mute has been issued falsely, please direct message @remote chasm or a server admin (Earl) to make your case. Muted members can additionally appeal actions directly to staff in #jail. Failure to follow the correct procedures will only serve to escalate the situation needlessly. :warning:

[surreal quartz]

The Bad Trade
By N.R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Fiction
Summary: Jamie Blackwell after being lied to, finds his family in the living. He decides to settle old scores as the Doak's brothers have broken a truce deal against his father in law. The brothers faced down a wrathful ghost now, and the only monster worse than American Indians to the villains is a White Mohawk refugee with a resolve as deep as the bad Chickamauga river.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19PJDWzXnyHuTFH8Qb9sx0CaTqGaxV938xIym3xss0BI/edit?usp=drivesdk

[jade panther]

Wow you have 128 A4 pages? Which would turn out as like, double that in actual publishing sizes

Impressive

[surreal quartz]

Not finished

Especially Grey Wolf due to problems

[surreal quartz]

However, this one is more focused on the Old Settler Cherokee.

[surreal quartz]

Ye Ol' Boatman
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Adventure fiction
Summar: The Great Cherokee warrior, Dan McDaniel, settles for a life of hauling freight on his flat boat with a fellow Cherokee, Jack Vann. His life rocks like rapids when a woman from his past pays to see her fiancé in the Arkansas territory. He must learn to overcome it when she's taken by the recent foes, Pasugas or the Osage. He has friends who have nothing to lose too.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gQjlcprFiklhFQJTt8JeqsGN8IZSEOd3b0L7QvLCV60/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

Almost finished.

Ye Ol' Boatman
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Adventure fiction
Summar: The Great Cherokee warrior, Dan McDaniel, settles for a life of hauling freight on his flat boat with a fellow Cherokee, Jack Vann. His life rocks like rapids when a woman from his past pays to see her fiancé in the Arkansas territory. He must learn to overcome it when she's taken by the recent foes, Pasugas or the Osage. He has friends who have nothing to lose too.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gQjlcprFiklhFQJTt8JeqsGN8IZSEOd3b0L7QvLCV60/edit?usp=drivesdk

[surreal quartz]

The story is finished.

Ye Ol' Boatman
By N. R. Gibson
Genre: Historical Adventure fiction
Summar: The Great Cherokee warrior, Dan McDaniel, settles for a life of hauling freight on his flat boat with a fellow Cherokee, Jack Vann. His life rocks like rapids when a woman from his past pays to see her fiancé in the Arkansas territory. He must learn to overcome it when she's taken by the recent foes, Pasugas or the Osage. He has friends who have nothing to lose too.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gQjlcprFiklhFQJTt8JeqsGN8IZSEOd3b0L7QvLCV60/edit?usp=drivesdk