#The Easterling (A TES Story)

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

bronze ginkgo
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>Title: The Easterling
>Genre: Dark Fantasy, Horror, Sword&Sorcery
>Length: 70,000+ words, divided over four "books" with three chapters each
>Status: Ongoing, but on hiatus due to busy schedule. Book Five and several side stories are in work
>Rating: M - Graphical depictions of violence, implied sexual activity and nudity. Intended for 17+ audience

>Synopsis: The year is 227 of the Fourth Era. The lands of Tamriel are in turmoil. The aftermath of the Second Great War plagues the northern states that make up the remnants of the Empire in the wake of a renewed Aldmeri Dominion while the newly independent kingdoms of Hammerfell, Orsinium, Daggerfall, and Skyrim hold together by the tenuous threads of alliance, sustained almost solely at the expense of their common enemy.

But this is not a story of nations, nor kings and queens, emperors and gods. This is the story of one man in a world where warmth and cheer are all the sweeter for their rarity. And all the more rare they are for a member of the Order of White Cairn, a guild of monster hunters for hire, made up of outcasts, former criminals, and anyone who no longer truly has a place among people.

Trying to forget the past that he can never truly escape, he looks forward, hoping for a brighter future. But what the future has in store for him could be more than what he bargained for...

>Linkle:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000476
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/58879/the-easterling

brisk laurel
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Well I did not expect Elder scrolls fanfic and what looks like a dark brotherhood player. It's got some nice descriptions, but suffers a little from telling them at parts. Guards as useless as usual and as every Skyrim fanfic, it starts in Riverwood.
Can't complain about the story beats thus far, only that the old dude apparently ped himself after having a slash, how was there any left lol

bronze ginkgo
brisk laurel
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The shopkeep went out to piss, but also apparently sat in it after meeting the creature

bronze ginkgo
brisk laurel
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Landing right where you need to go sure is convenient

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Lydia the Dragonslayer: Excuse me? Miss dragonbone mule did something?

bronze ginkgo
brisk laurel
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Well, for something called book one this was very short. I did not grow attached to the character in that short a time, so the entire third chapter just felt odd. A big celebration as if he had just suffered through a books worth of journey but all we got to see was a side quest. Half the book is partying and celebration over what feels pretty minor.

bronze ginkgo
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Also, people are happy because the ||children are back safely and not eaten alive||. I'm not sure where you're from, but it's an old kind of community solidarity that was present in older times.

brisk laurel
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I am talking about the last chapter, where they have another celebration for him returning

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I kinda expected that to be the set-up for the main plot, leaving after saving the village, showing off the edge he has and introducing a monster that I don't think is in normal Elder scrolls.

bronze ginkgo
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And yeah, ||windigos|| aren't normal to TES. But I took the liberty of introducing them, and I think my reasoning and backstory for them are fairly good, since ||Namira has a penchant for the disgusting things||.

brisk laurel
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I know no lore, but it feels fitting.

bronze ginkgo
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Pretty much yoinked straight from corresponding real life mythology and fit into the most corresponding setting in TES.

mild spoke
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Would probably bebefit from having the wirds "Skyrim fanfiction" somewhere in the synopsis

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🤷‍♂️

bronze ginkgo
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And it actually has that on the AO4.

mild spoke
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But what if you don't know TES lore

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Like it took me a good moment to remember what Tamriel is

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Idk just a thought

brisk laurel
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Like me lol but I saw it in the tags

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So putting fanfic up there would be good

bronze ginkgo
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You raise a good point.

brisk laurel
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Because most other stories here are original

bronze ginkgo
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Though, this is kind of a "what if" future. Does that really qualify as a fanfic still?

mild spoke
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I was gonna suggest you could put it in parentheses after the title like so

Title: The Easterling (a Skyrim story)

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something like that

brisk laurel
bronze ginkgo
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I think I'll add it under the genre. Or if I can change the title.

bronze ginkgo
mild spoke
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ya

bronze ginkgo
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The Easterling (A TES Story)

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Better?

brisk laurel
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Just 14 more to greatness

bronze ginkgo
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Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

bronze ginkgo
brisk laurel
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Always good to have these goals and all the funny numbers are great for it. And I completely missed 8008, which is sad, but great because it suddenly jumped 100views lmao

bronze ginkgo
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Do give me a hoot when you read the next book.

I'm starving for feedback and also seedback and sneedback.

brisk laurel
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Yeah, maybe I will. Give Bloodpact

bronze ginkgo
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gives Bloodpact

brisk laurel
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I mean as in you read mine, I read yours. Which is what we once called a bloodpact here

bronze ginkgo
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It is the fair.

brisk laurel
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Probably gonna read more tomorrow. Got stuff to do for the last precious hours today

bronze ginkgo
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snifflus

bronze ginkgo
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Most discussed about thread in this channel.

Honoured.

bronze ginkgo
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noises of me bullying @brisk laurel

brisk laurel
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Yeah later, no tim realy

bronze ginkgo
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I care not. You can read whenever you please, but I shall bully you now.

And I'll start by issuing weirdly specific threats.

I shall light the darkest blue article of clothing in your closet on fire using lemon juice and all-purpose wheat flour.

brisk laurel
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Haven't forgotten, tomorrow, for sure

bronze ginkgo
brisk laurel
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I am a working man and have too little timekek

bronze ginkgo
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So just stop working.

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lol.

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You silly.

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You absolute boob of a man.

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It's that simple.

bronze ginkgo
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I noticed that my story got another hit in the meantime. So to any prospective readers: if you've enjoyed what you saw, leaving a kudo and a comment would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you and peace.

brisk laurel
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What the hell kinda tutoring do they do there? I agree with he council, giving a new apprentice to your two best hunters is kinda silly. Also I am now afraid he is building a harem

brisk laurel
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Good that is isn't anime then, in that case that would not be a reason to stop. So now I really hope it isn't

bronze ginkgo
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My moral compass is the reason to stop.

brisk laurel
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ggod

bronze ginkgo
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Is that "god" or "good"?

brisk laurel
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good

bronze ginkgo
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👍🏻

bronze ginkgo
bronze ginkgo
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One additional read to Book Four.

But the number of reads to Book Three remains unchanged.

brisk laurel
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Oh no my non-progress is watched. But it is a workweek, so time is in short supply

bronze ginkgo
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That actually wasn't a prod at you. Just me thinking out loud and making light.

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and a bump, but let's not talk of it

brisk laurel
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subtle marketing

bronze ginkgo
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Really, now? Even suggesting I do something like that is insulting. Absolutely not something I can overlook. Duel to the death with Polish sabres is the only way we can resolve this. Mark my words, you will yet live to regret this offence you inflicted onto me. You will know the true meaning of pain as I slice you open from your navel to your throat. Such blatant mocker will not go unpunished. Terrible and gruesome, but you've brought this on your own. Other than that, nothing will satisfy the goddess of retribution that lurks sleeping on my icy heart. Ready yourself, for the reaper is upon ye! You haven't heard the last of me, my good sir!

patent shard
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Dude, an elder scrolls fanfic?! By the eight

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Is it time for me to unleash my never used lore knowledge and critic everything that doesn't fit in with the lore?

bronze ginkgo
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The Eight?

How dare you?

patent shard
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That was intentional you imga

bronze ginkgo
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Who you callin' an imga, you sl*ad?

patent shard
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Get out of my face you n'wah

bronze ginkgo
bronze ginkgo
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I think Nootie died.

patent shard
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You can't kill me

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You can't kill what's already dead

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
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Thoughts on the thalmor?

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You wanna break the mortal prison and be free of lorkhan's trap?

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Please contact your nearest thalmor embassy

bronze ginkgo
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Thalmor are gye.

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Though all jokes aside now.

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If you've read any part of it, some feedback would be nice.

patent shard
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Ok question

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How steeped in the lore is this?

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Like on a 1-10 scale
1 being just a story with the place names and shit matching and some charecters appearing here and there

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And 10 being something similar to a discussion about chim with the numidium while vivec touches his milk fingers

bronze ginkgo
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Eee...

About 2-3.

Though, as it goes on, stuff will appear in more depth, so it might get itself anted up to 5.

patent shard
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6 is probably where Skyrim the game is at

bronze ginkgo
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The esotericism of TES lore took a dive after Morrowind.

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Skyrim is largely just a fantasy game.

patent shard
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Well possibly but it still is somewhat a step towards embracing the lore

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Eso is probably more steeped in it lol

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
patent shard
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Yeah the first few parts

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Then with the dlc type things it gets deeper and cooler

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Though I haven't played just read and watched it

bronze ginkgo
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Aaaagree to disagree.

patent shard
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Yeah though I have to get this clarified

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Are you aware of chim?

bronze ginkgo
bronze ginkgo
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@tender raptor, sir! Might I please get a pin on the top post for the ease of access?

bronze ginkgo
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crickets

Ah well.

bronze ginkgo
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Just a pin on the original post for the ease of access in case I need to edit anything or follow the link.

bronze ginkgo
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Thenks, b0ss.

ionic relic
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Nice

bronze ginkgo
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O hai.

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Welcome, prospective reader.

ionic relic
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One question

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||Does Mordryn have a sickness that is like epileptic?||

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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||The woman that fell down the stairs?||

bronze ginkgo
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Wait, did you start with Book Four?

ionic relic
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Book 1, 2, 3, and 4

bronze ginkgo
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You read them before?

ionic relic
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Just today

bronze ginkgo
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That's... impressive.

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But no, ||Modryn is the castle's former doctor. Unrelated to the woman. Her won't be revealed until near the end of the whole thing.||

ionic relic
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Ok

bronze ginkgo
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Strange. My hit count didn't increase since yesterday.

ionic relic
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This place holds fan fics for Skyrim?

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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You post fan fics there?

bronze ginkgo
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It holds pretty much anything someone can write.

ionic relic
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Thanks.

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I go back to reread it later.

bronze ginkgo
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I may make some minor edits to Book Three.

Nothing plot-altering: just for continuity sake.

ionic relic
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Ok

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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Nice

stable cradle
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You name things but do not describe them too much, unless the subject is something that is not in a Skyrim game. More description of locations and people would be nice, adds more character.

bronze ginkgo
stable cradle
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sure

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Book 1, chapter 1.
"Thank you for the warning, my good man," replied the man as he walked past him. "I shall make sure that you do not catch me."

Hyglak turned towards him, his mind trying to comprehend what he's just been told. Few moment's later, he decided it was not worth the effort. As he leaned back on the wall, he tried to remember something. Something important, that he seemed to have forgotten. It was at the tip of his tongue, but his tongue seemed to be elsewhere now.

Soon enough, he gave up on that too. If it was important, he would remember it.

At the same time, the man paced steadily through the main street, stopping only when he reached the building that the recently painted sign named 'Sleeping Giant Inn'. Without much ado, he climbed up the steps and reached for the doors. Maybe he'd find some work inside.

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What does that town look like. What does the road look like. What does the Inn look like

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What does the wall the guard leans against look like?

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A lot of action that makes sense only if you assume everything looks just as it does in Skyrim, but with a dearth of description otherwise.

bronze ginkgo
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Hmmm...

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Point taken. And it's a good point.

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Especially since the time difference between Skyrim and The Easterling is twenty five years.

I'll update the descriptions.

bronze ginkgo
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bronze ginkgo
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Business is a-boomin' lads.

bronze ginkgo
bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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Wow

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This became interesting very quick.

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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The hot headed woman chapter

bronze ginkgo
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crippling self-doubt rolls a natural 20
I can never tell if it's sarcasm

ionic relic
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Not sarcasm

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Interesting

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I liked it overall,

bronze ginkgo
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Reviews and comments are always appreciated.

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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This one is sad and funny.

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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||The near death was sad, but the guy being dragged by women is funny.||

bronze ginkgo
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FAAK!

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I was gonna write that out!

ionic relic
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Sorry

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I gotta edit merc trilogy now.

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Thanks for reminding me.

bronze ginkgo
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I must edit it before another ten thousand people read it.

ionic relic
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I bet.

bronze ginkgo
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Decided not to edit it out.

ionic relic
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Ok

bronze ginkgo
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Sorry for missing the upload today. The days was very... yeah.

ionic relic
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Funny and adventurous, I liked it.

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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You're welcome.

bronze ginkgo
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Do you happen to have an account at RR?

ionic relic
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I should.

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I want to post a fan fic on there now,

bronze ginkgo
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@brisk laurel, I'd like to invite him. How do I do it?

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The way you invited me.

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I wish to perpetuate teh chain.

brisk laurel
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I just googled RR invite code and then got to a forum post telling me how lul

bronze ginkgo
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tarded

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Ay, so shall it be.

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Join us, @ionic relic, mein Freund: https://royalroad.com/signup/RR-A4E8-15C0

ionic relic
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Soon.

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I need to write it up first.

bronze ginkgo
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I do believe you can join right away.

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Not sure if you need to make a submission alongside it.

ionic relic
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Ok.

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Thanks.

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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Interesting

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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Love it.

bronze ginkgo
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My only dedicated reader...

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💚

bronze ginkgo
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New chapter boutta drop.

I hope you're all as excited as I am!

🦗 🦗 🦗 🦗

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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This one is funny.

bronze ginkgo
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@brisk laurel any advice as to how I could enslave more people to my will gain some more engagement?

brisk laurel
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If I knew, I'd be higher up on the RR list

bronze ginkgo
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What's your rank there, again?

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(oh lawd, he comin'!)

brisk laurel
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2900

tender raptor
bronze ginkgo
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I'm 12600something so reveal your secrets before I bring out der Fischwerfer.

brisk laurel
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Hmmm, I did a few review swaps at the start, then forgot to do more, then plan on doing a bit more once I reach the finale

bronze ginkgo
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Aye, fair enough.

bronze ginkgo
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ionic relic
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Cool

bronze ginkgo
ionic relic
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This was absolutely funny.

bronze ginkgo
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I think I'll go on a hiatus.

This was the worst chapter I've written, I've rushed it, and it's noticeably shorter than most others before.

ionic relic
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It's fine, but you do need a break.

bronze ginkgo
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Latest chapter has been refined and updated, fixing some typos and adding about 350 new words of content, mostly to flesh out the lacklustre third act.

Chapter has also been uploaded to AO3.

Next Book will be a lot better than this.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/58879/the-easterling/chapter/1047092/book-four-chapter-three-fools-silver

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37232830/chapters/109030407

ionic relic
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Funny

bronze ginkgo
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According to AI, this is my MC.

He looks exactly nothing like that.

ionic relic
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Agree

bronze ginkgo
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They hunt monsters, sassy teenager is having to learn the ropes and get over her shit attitude```
Best summary of my characters I've ever seen.
ionic relic
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Lol

bronze ginkgo
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I hope none of you thought you were safe from me.

patent shard
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Skill. Got in here as a serf

bronze ginkgo
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The this thread belongs to me.

Not even gods can take that away.

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Besides, I think anyone can get in here. You just need to have an adequate role to start a new thread.

patent shard
patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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If you're going to make one, I'd be more than happy to offer some feedback.

And maybe gain some in return.

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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blink

Okay, now I feel the stupidness.

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Should've seen it.

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
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You have any ideas on how to best make cover art?

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Idk if I can read this on airplane mode. So it might be some time before I can start

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
bronze ginkgo
bronze ginkgo
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Neither did I at the time.

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Got a mate to do it for me.

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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Eh, it's more of an engine to get what you need, but if you think Bannerlord could do a better job, by all means.

I'm just offering up an idear.

patent shard
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Neither work perfectly. I might end up just trying to draw

bronze ginkgo
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You could try.

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Though, if you're serious about the subject, hiring a pro to draw it for you would be even better.

patent shard
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Yes. But right now my loftiest goal of publishing is Royal Road

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Anyway, I’ll start yours now. What type of feedback are you looking for?

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
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I can’t read it from here?

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
bronze ginkgo
#

Fair enough.

As for the feedback, I'd be curious into how well you think the world is constructed, how each individual story works (there's only four, so don't worry) and what do you think about the main cast.

patent shard
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Ok. But I may ask questions that are completely illogical.

bronze ginkgo
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Fire away, mon ami.

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Though you have me at a bit of a disadvantage: your questions would be illogical how?

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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I'm always happy to answer questions.

patent shard
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Same for my story too. You also will probably finish reading mine before I finish book 1 btw.

bronze ginkgo
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I'm currently a bit otherwise occupied.

And Book 1 isn't all that large.

patent shard
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Well get to it whenever you can. No rush. Yeah I know it’s not large.

patent shard
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So already pretty good. I’m not a fan of waiting until chapter 3 to introduce what I can assume is the main character’s name but it’s a choice that I can understand and it works. I was a little confused by all the POV switches in the first chapter, but that’s probably just me. Other than that I don’t really have anything else. The world seems well made and the characters do seem like people, which is good. It does give me Witcher vibes and I am not sure what a Mer is.

bronze ginkgo
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You're correct about the Witcher vibes. The books were my primary motivation.

And a Mer is an Elf.

patent shard
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Ah, I take it that’s something people who play Skyrim would know?

bronze ginkgo
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Yeah.

The two terms are interchangable, but I prefer mer as it separates the TES elves from their LotR counterparts.

patent shard
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Noted.

patent shard
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Livia gives me teenager vibes. Also, these people have very strong stomachs. I would not want to eat that.

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
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Yeah definitely a teenager

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Anyway. Book 1 felt more like a character introduction than a story in its own right. But it was pretty good. So far book 2 is good

bronze ginkgo
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🙂

patent shard
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I’m getting on a plane now, so I can’t read more for now though

bronze ginkgo
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Understandable.

patent shard
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Planes waiting for weather, I have a little more time. I noticed that you described Aeriel’s fighting like so. “There was little finesse in her swings. But she compensated for it with sheer strength. Livia watched, transfixed, as the other woman’s heavy broadsword”
What type of Broadsword is she using? And, this style, using strength instead of finesse doesn’t match any art of fencing with swords I have heard of. Would you care to please explain?

bronze ginkgo
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I'm not really sure what "type" of a broadsword it would be, except that it's certainly not a basket claymore.

I have an image of it for reference.

And it's not really a fencing art. It's basically just "hit it as hard as you can and make it go splaaat". If you've ever watched or read Berserk, it's similar to what Guts does, although Aeriel's sword is a lot smaller.

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Images for ref:

bronze ginkgo
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@patent shard: le ping in case you missed.

patent shard
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That looks like a hand-and a half sword, commonly referred to as a bastard sword. That would be a finesse weapon. My main issue with how she fights is that fencing is a finesse based art. Even heavy weapons like great swords use finesse.

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It works for people who don’t know fighting, but when I (a person who does Lichtenauer) reads it, it feels off.

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@bronze ginkgo

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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Ah.

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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Huh...

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Didn't know that.

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I thought it only applied to sabre and rapier dueling.

patent shard
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Nope

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
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It's supposed to be a heavy sword.

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If you haven't pieced it together by now, Aeriel is ridiculously strong for her frame.

patent shard
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Well in that case, it might be more logical to make it a great sword. Because that’s a weapon that at least looks like one uses strength over finesse. But it’s your choice

bronze ginkgo
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I'm not sure how anyone could mistake said sord for a weapon that isn't strength oriented.

Bastard's fokkin 'uge, bruv.

patent shard
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Swords are finesse based weapons, but since most people don’t know that. You could get away with making a strength based sword. But larger swords like this are historically crowd control, so I would say that Aeriel’s sword should be great for fighting multiple enemies. But it is fantasy and realistic sword fights are so rare that it’s fine.

patent shard
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From a writing perspective though, it’s not actually an issue unless actually swordsmen read it. I don’t know your target audience, but I doubt it’s swordsmen (which includes females)

bronze ginkgo
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Swordsmen could be included in the target audience.

Thing is, I give myself some leeway on the realism for the rule of the cool. Not too much, but some nonetheless.

patent shard
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Yeah, rule of cool works just keep in mind that swordsmen will probably notice her sword being a strength weapon as opposed to a finesse weapon. It should be fine though

bronze ginkgo
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swordsmen will probably notice her sword being a strength weapon as opposed to a finesse weapon

I should hope so.

patent shard
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My point was that not all of them will like it. Some will, I know some who love finding things that aren’t historically accurate

bronze ginkgo
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Nobody has ever written something that everyone likes, and I do not presume to change that.

patent shard
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I know, I was just mentioning it

bronze ginkgo
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No problemsos.

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That said, how deep into reading are you?

patent shard
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I have been on a plane for the past 9 and a half hours. And will be on another shortly. I’m at the fight scene in book 2 (fighting the draugr)

bronze ginkgo
patent shard
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Nah

slim glade
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I read the first 2. I'm not a critic but it seems pretty cool.

bronze ginkgo
bronze ginkgo
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Be thou living, @slim glade?

slim glade
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yuh yuh

bronze ginkgo
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How far have you gotten?

slim glade
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chap 4

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3

bronze ginkgo
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Chapter 4?

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None of my books has a Chapter 4.

slim glade
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er

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thing 4

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the 4th thing

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book 2 chaptre 12

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1

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numbers

bronze ginkgo
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Ah.

bronze ginkgo
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Next chapter is in the works, but I can't give a solid release date.

patent shard
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Hey mate. I finally bothered to stop playing CK and read some more. So I noticed that Gareth instructed Livia to parry. What one wants to do in sword fighting is to attack. If you only ever parry, you are in the noch (basically your opponent has all the initiative) the goal in a sword fight is to control the center, you can't do that by only parrying. Of course most people won't know this and you can win a fight by parrying all your opponent's attacks but what one really wants to do is take the vor (meaning you have the initiative) if you are in the vor, you control the fight. Just something to think about if you want even more realism. Although it is functional for a fantasy story.

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'“One of the main strengths of the Way of the Wolf,” started Aeriel, “is that the attack never stops.' Beautiful. This is how we learn to fight in the German style. Everything is just moving from one attack to another, keeping constant pressure on your opponent to keep the vor.

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Finally Gambeson gets some love!

bronze ginkgo
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Yup.

patent shard
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Very happy about gambeson inclusion. Least favorite part of DND is its disdain for Gambesons

bronze ginkgo
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Well I suppose some of Shad's incessant ramblings rubbed off on me.

patent shard
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Fair.

bronze ginkgo
#

Also, Skyrim is cold. The cotton underclothes that is gambeson is a good thing to have.

patent shard
#

Makes sense. Although. If it is cold I would include more cloaks. They are great at keeping warmth in. Also historically accurate medieval gambesons are thinner than their modern counterparts

bronze ginkgo
#

I think you may've missed, but characters actually do have cloaks. They just don't wear them all the time.

patent shard
#

I probably did miss that. Or I noticed and forgot. My bad.

#

I also have a Royal Road account now so I'm gonna read what you have so far on there and then give a review.

bronze ginkgo
#

excited squealing

#

I mean,

#

dignified hmph

#

Thank you, my good sir.

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
#

You can post it immediately, I think.

#

I had an 8 hour difference between my first and second chapter.

patent shard
#

Great. Thanks mate. I'll make sure to go over chapter 2 and get that on there.

bronze ginkgo
#

Good man.

patent shard
#

Chapter 2 is out now. I want to actually get some writing done today, so close to the climax of my story.

bronze ginkgo
#

I want to actually get some writing done today

HAHAHAHA!

#

Oooh, you poor sod...

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
#

How?

#

Drugs?

#

It must be drugs.

#

Or witchcraft.

patent shard
#

You have gotten writing done. I know you have. I have read it.

bronze ginkgo
#

Yeah, but that was 8 months ago.

#

Nine, actually.

patent shard
#

You haven't written in nine months?

bronze ginkgo
#

No.

Not enough to publish, anyway.

Turns out that having a job with a 50 hours workweek kills a man's soul.

bronze ginkgo
#

I have written a mini-chapter, but it's still not in order for publishing.

patent shard
# bronze ginkgo How?

I am excited to write the climax of this story and excited to start the second story.

bronze ginkgo
#

B5C1 is in progress.

#

Release date remains elusive, but it will happen before The Winds of Winter.

#

Probably.

patent shard
bronze ginkgo
#

Yes.

#

The one that shall definitely be released before he dies of death.