#In Golden Flame
1 messages · Page 149 of 1
tiny juli voice reveal
wait that probably requires context to be funny but i won't provide said context
☹️
explain what?
It does not require context
where the hell is the cool hair sunglasses person
Gone
Reduced to atoms
Despite thinkingg I had the confidence I found it uncomfortable after a while having my face so public...
I could never
If I do I'm scared Eleonor will find me if she ever comes to france
Also I joined a discord server which is like... Online RP BS and I don't have per server profiles so I picked some cool art from a game I like which works as a regular PFP AND it can fit in the context of that server
I am indecisive as shit so I had no clue what the fuck my PFP shoulda beenn
It'll probably change within the week cos I'm an indecisive shit
As much as I love this art I think it's too uncear on the scale of a PFP
i thought i would be nervous abt having my face public but turns out im actually a big attention whore and like when people fawn over me
not true
its sick
Scik
Then I can keep it
Either way it's gonna be art from citizenn sleeper
This games art kicks arse
a different one this time
the game kicks ass period
the first time i played it i wanted a movie to be made for it
Tru
i think after laios im gonna cosplay citizen sleeper
cant wait for no one at comic con to know what im supposed to be though
Too put it in the immortal words of one Meow "Jen" button
It fucks and cums
Just like me f... NVM
prime NPC art for lancer right there
Citizen sleeper is such peak Lancer
It hits so many long rim vibes
Apart from the lack of mechs
the 'tiny juli voice' you have done in vc
thats what YOU call it

don't you give me that look young lady

my favorite character from citizen sleeper is the (spoilers) ||hitman who is sent to kill you, fails, and turns into a drunk mess within the first 2 hours of the game||
BAD CAT whap whap
don't bully my favorite cat, please
anyways i take back what i said earlier
today is fucking awful lmao
I think it's the only game that made me feel like I had fucked up, shit was fucked due to chance and it wasn't the computers fault and I was stressed for it and I was for it
-# I'm always open to listen if you want to talk about it, Jen
i just had a really hard talk, idk if i'm ready for another
wow i just yapped so much lore i missed my dinner time

-# is that a yes?

also unrelated by i found this WIP comm i am getting
the naana flapping
she's like ||feather|| but a bit more normal
Okay so,
For, my lovely artist and adoptive little sister at this point, has made this little doodle of us that has had me on a big bender on crafting how the hell do bunny man and little eldritch backpack being work together? She loves borderlands so my main idea spawned from an idea of the duo work together as a single character where all the eldritch abilities happen through her while the gunworks comes from the bun dude.
Duo for the price of one!```
Quatro Is meant to be a hardass, angry that he was just some random rabbit burdened with sentience and he doesn't understand why he has memories of a man that doesn't exist.
Tres is the sweeter side that just wants Quatro to calm down since it was her powers that essentially turned him to what he is now but not by choice. Quatro has a "defend the little one" mindset with Tres simply because he refused to be a labrat
I will now relax on the lore yaps to not flood the channel
i made a test account on my pc to check for browser crashes that have been occurring on my main account and.. nothing seems to be happening
which is good, it means it's not an OS or hardware issue
it's... a configuration issue...
unsure what sort of configuration issues would lead to fucken memory faults but fuck me i guess
I'm existin'....
who the hell are you wheres cool sunglasses guy
Despite thinkingg I had the confidence I found it uncomfortable after a while having my face so public...
Also I joined a discord server which is like... Online RP BS and I don't have per server profiles so I picked some cool art from a game I like which works as a regular PFP AND it can fit in the context of that server
oh, i understand, sorry if that was prying
not that you are al, i doubt it, but i understand
Nay, it twasn't
false
i genuinely did not realise that was yourself and not just some celebrity i didnt know lmao
fwiw i thought you looked cool as fuck
??? true?
❤️
but i DO understand
i dont think i'd ever share my face with anyone online that i dont know for years and trust
man i don't want friends of mine to see my face lmao
my usernames used to just be my full legal name followed by the year i was born
and ive used my own face as my pfp for ever
i want to make another drawing of myself to use as a pfp but i gotta wait until i get this haircut ive been putting off
anyways al you're very pretty
I was like... I have mates whom have done it so I don't really care... Like anythings gonna happen from it, but then I'm like... Just don't wanna see that stuff and yeah bad stuff can happen from it... Unlikely but possible
i mean
bad shit happening is one thing right
in my case its that i think that if anyone is to see my face they will perceive me differently
because lets face it
i am a trans woman
i dont look like a woman right now
or sound like one
this causes me great discomfort
...im sorry i am getting carried away rn
🫂 don't apologize you've done nothing wrong
why does shit always have to happen when im supposed to be happy
heard friend
i was happy not even that long ago and i quite literally fucked it up singlehandedly
would anyone be open to hearing me vent a little
i dont want to clog this chat with my bullshit
nvm no lancer today last minute cancel as per fucking usual
ofc
like man how does the other unemployed player never fucking make it. you're unemployed- the person with the job that makes them work over their schedule makes it
omfg for real
hi we meet up at the same time on the same day every week
what do you mean you made plans with your girlfriend yesterday
we've been doing this for a year
i am going to personally strangle with a shoestring people who cancel last minute for no reason
for a good reason
no i meant strangle them for a good reason
ohhhhhh
strangling is back on the menu
:3
nah the suggestive wink was better
ror2 time
im sorry they cancelled. ttrpg hell
Because you’re a good writer and Because people enjoy your take on wallflower
you think strangling someone with cheese wire is better or worse
correct and true!!!
than what piano wire ?
well, half of them do
jen id play in your game if there was a time and place for me to
idk like, rope, my hands
i hope if we get an icon game going it can be something to look forward to every week
i don't need more people playing in my game out of pity
i wouldnt say i pity you so much as i think you deserve to have good things happen to you
<- tried playing votv again and died to taking fall damage by falling 10 centimeters and then rolling all the way down a mountain
with this good night to you all ladies and gentlemen
i love votv
It won’t be out of pitty, Jen
I always love whenever you or Eleanor share snippets of what’s going on in your campaign
truly a game of all time
it sure is a game
I love VOTV
someday its going to stop raining so hard
the fucking clip of the ariel(?) throwing a gas can at someone's head is myh favorite
goodnight léo dear
👆
I genuinely love that every single update makes the game less intuitive
talking about your campaign as sleep deprived and probably useless as i was lol, was very interesting
it was a mess
and all of that is for a player who idk how much he's going to latch on to
they say they want more involvement but refuse to become involved
i loved watching him play this game
straight to ttrpg hell
Rubix raptor the goat
i want so desperately for people to listen to my stories and play my games and look at my art
alloyed collective dlc review so far: how the fuck are you supposed to do this in eclipse 8
damn this chat goes fast
and when it feels like im just showing it to myself
it makes me want to kill my players with hammers
good question! i'm sure i'll learn it and lock in
-# I was about to rant about my own experience with a uninvolved player, but I don’t think it’s the time or place for it
Let’s just be joyous about voices of the void
its 100% a skill issue but the stage with the keys is absurd
there is so much shit constantly
and you HAVE to kill them. you can't just cope strat where you lead them around the level
funny enough now that drones are better it makes that strat so much harder
i suck at ror2 tbh
i play arti and rex mostly and i usually lose my runs at rallypoint delta
why are you going to rallypoint delta
Look, if they don't work it out with the tools you give them.. Just fuck the person, honestly. You are giving them your time and soul, least they could do is respect it. I have my own gripes with uninvolved players like juli tbh, specifically one that has been missing sessions for over 2 months bc they are drugged out of their mind 
dont go to rallypoint delta
or get my shit blown apart by the grandsons i think they're called in the fifth level
i used to be good at it. multiple e8 win streaks. but holy fuck what is this
well, NOW its good
or better
TC is actually a real thing
bro is so strong now
are tc280s actually usable what
damn i need to try this shit
its time for drunk risk of rain 2!!!
i am like one bad day from becoming an alcoholic lmao
don't do that
the stage somehow got harder. bruh
a cool surprise on that stage but also uh what the fuck
it at least works and is cool which has the last dlc beat but uh yeah. what the fuck
i mean yeah if i was planning on actually doing something that idiotic i wouldnt say it here
reached the dlc final boss , it just one shot me the first second i enter lol
got to the boss?
is it ||the giant vulture? it killed me so fast lmao||
||the other one||
i won't spoil it because its genuinelly really cool but omfg that stage sucks
ffffuucuckkkk
oh yeah this is the one i died to too
in all my days i have never seen so many tanky enemies
doesn't help i'm playing a new character but bro i am an e8 veteran and that shit was insane
the hp is not the problem its the dmg that they one shot in I SEE YOU
the new shield dudes can fuck off
they jumpscared me and was playing seeker
thank god the revive now can be applied to yourself
the new character has such a high learning curve. reminds me a lot of viend when he first dropped
i really like her(?) though
ah idk
yep is a he
i guess that makes sense considering drifter is your average boymoder
gonna try ||beat the dlc skynet|| with chef
@jovial beacon What the hell is happening to your username on my phone?
yeah honestly i feel like i gotta go with a strong af character to get through that shit lol
100 gecs lyrics
oh that i just was trolling and use a random letter type for the discord name lol
or just artifact of command and done
lol
i'm not a bitch
i'd rather die than use command
rn i'm just trying to climb up eclipse since the mod that lets me use e8 for new characters isn't working
got my ass beat on monsoon. embarrassing
retire
trust me i'm considering
holy fuck back up fucks and cums on operator
what a glow up
hILARIOUS out of context
HAHA
reading this as a series of actions
the equipment in risk of rain 2, previously known for its inadequacy, has been increased to a new level that makes it quite good with the new character known as operator 
better
mhm
no this is better
cat with monocle
Me when I'm a bee
god i wish that were me
octopus and/or salmon
-# bees cum???
i mean like, a select few
the salmon who gets so horny he hulks out
no i have glasses
rreow
what makes you say this
depression
chat did you know i know i'm a bad person
wrong
incredibly wrong
-# ||Jen, you're not a bad person. most people that think they're "a bad person" are simply hurt and scared people trying to make the best out of their situations,||
true and correct
i am hurt and scared
always all the time
ugh i really don't want to talk about this rn
i think if y'all knew me you wouldn't be so quick to defend
you don't have to, and I'm sorry for bringing it up when you're not ready to talk
ok so dlc review 2: what the fuck is with the enemies that just steal your items
you die instantly
SWAGFUL
i apparently do yap in my sleep
-# I've been told I do that as well
purrito
apparently, people with J names yap while sleeping
im also apparently very grabby when im asleep
i was just about to say that lmao
one time my ex tried to roll over when i fell asleep cuddling and i pulled her and growled
not in a 😳 way .. my last girlfriend would tell me that she tried getting up while we were asleep and i would hold on to her and not let her get up
i am just a very physically affectionate person alright
same
i am possessive affectionate despite being poly/open lmao
sometimes you just gotta grab someone so they know they're yours 🩵


im taking notes

married btw
gsgshhhh i am getting very reminded of how bad i want physicsl affection rn
need to hold hands ... or i die
grabbable waist.
mine? thanks
thanks bunzi lmao
yeah... saaame
the muse chat polycule is very touch starved tonight i see
anyway i have a date this sunday so maybe
i hope so too
i have no idea what she seen in my up to now but
eh
im sorry. i am so self deprecating. i really shouldnt be
You are literally gods chosen
you're correct you shouldn't be
self-love beam
Ya bun in the one made pasta baby
should i bake something this weekend
what kind? o:
Fish and alfredo with some noodles
oooo
okay im not all that lmao
-# i need to figure out how to disable those fucking emojis NOW
Did you hear god say you aren't?
settings -> chat -> emojis
turn it off there
Exactly
There's 50/50 odds, You which is pretty damn good
So at minimum you're 50% gods chosen which is quite solid
i'm either goated or i'm chopped
you're here, so your goated
what in the goddamn??!?
forever winter baby


i have no use case for this one
wait true

the emoji or the original?
literally where does the original come from

Idk, but Leo was patient zero for that fuck ass emote
He kept posting it
gave me the original on my birthday
and then we had like... two or three days of peace before it spread...
joyous
indeed joyous 
i like that it has no fucking ears
the next stage of infection is when the propeller hat starts showing up on other things
evidently
:erucajoyous and :wonderous: as examples
wonderous is meow's doing
DEAR GOD
the artist was active in wallflower chat and she wanted to see a joyous version with W4
WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM??!?
a case of Joyous adabting
to environments it has been introduced
al can you joyous react me
THAT'S THE ONLY RULE THAT KEEPS THE PEACE
specifically only al
anyone else that joyous reacts me is getting a kiss
juli...
you're too far away
I see how it is
i need to turn all the sad cat pictures my friend sends me as reaction images into emotes
i regret giving you the original, Al...
where the fuck did you find clownpensive
what did you want one too
You dishonor the 
bottom clown

me fr
what, you a clown and a bottom?
I'm a clown from how I uuuh... Insert joke about something here...
Bottom uuuh, Inconclusive, lack of evidence
It's fine, I shall saviour the onslaught only for any whomst are not worthy
bet
fuck you mean bet
Shit like that is exactly why there is a lack of evidence lmao
im trying to be flirty and you short circuit me
listen.
if i can get a date
Autism be damned my boy can't talk to a woman
i am CERTAIN that you can get a date
you could say that... Sparks are flying, then? 
I jest, but srsly. I'm p sure I'm not Ace, I'm P sure I'm not Aro... I do go "Damn, I'd really wannt a partner huh..." and relate to shit posted in this channel... But end of the day I just don't do anything about it
i'm famously single and can't get a date either you know
i think thats just uhhh
cant be arsed? idk i was that way for a while
for ages i was like "damn i'd love a partner but i dont feel like going to look for one, if one comes to me then sure i'll be happy"

odd considering you're hot
the first one is freyja :3
not odd if you know me irl
i'm hot but i also can't talk to people for shit
i'm very shy when it comes to that stuff ive literally been forcing myself to give people my number and i still just go "uhhm m ,;; hi.. youre pretty , her'es my number if you want to text me ,, or throw it away ha ahaa"
One of the things is... I do really mad niche hobbies so if I had a partner I'd want someone who'd do them... Which limits me... But it's such a small hobby comparatively I don't want to be weird about it... Especially since I've heard many a horror story of people at the hobbies being hit on by peeps
Also the hobbies I do are so queer I never know which way people swing 
life's too short not to be weird
this is so real though
i swing in every way like a revolving door or a madman with a baseball bat
but sometimes its hard to tell how others do
is she into me or is she just being nice? idfk
Yeah I agree. but I mean Weird in a bad way
ohhhh like that way
Ya
i feel you
also yes al i agree
i dont want to date someone who doesnt share at least a couple of my hobbies
The fact I'm thinking this is probably proof I am nnot that type of person... But I am worried too much to ask people out because I don't want to be the memorably shit part of that persons day
i complain about being lonely but i do admittedly limit myself a lot
I make someone feel bad :(
its one thing when its say, a friend or someone you already know
do i have permission to put this in a very blunt way
I'm also thinnk I'm like... Demiromantic to so that doesn't make it easier
Fucking slaughter me
heavy on the scared of being creepy and ruining someone's day
Kill me with hammers
hhhoneslty? i think we make people feel bad all the time
without realising it
i HATE the thought that i ruined some nice girl's trip to the store bc i decided to give her my number and she probably thought about it for the next week and how creepy i was or whatever
thoughts like that keep me from doing it
we make them sad
we ruin their days
i believe
that the important part is that we dont do it intentionally
i've hurt those closest to me sooooo many times
and they have hurt me in turn
dwelling on it will not change that fact, or make any of us feel better
brutal, maybe, but idk thats what i think
sorry for going on so long
DOn't apoligise
being considerate is one thing, but stopping yourself from everything out of fear of what others think is another
-# And I hate myself for how bloody autistic I am that when you say "Brutal" my mind goes "THE LANNCER TALENT!?!??!?!"
OOps
lmao
Not meant to be beig
dont worry i do this too
i've been getting really stuck at work because im always afraid of asking for help, cuz what if im inconveniencing my coworkers??
i think the fact you think this brings your previous statements about being a bad person into question bc thats a really considerate and aware way of thinking abt this stuff cat
i saw the word death's head one time while playing a game recently and recited the exact description of it's core power
the reality is that i just made that shit up in my head
i think you're right
this is very real
we literally make shit up so much
and yea thats why i have been forcing myself to talk to people even if it makes me feel like actuslly throwing up literally
you can just ask people things, you can just tell people things
people arent evil and mean and out to get you and
yeag
i think the amount of fear everyone carries regarding what other people think of them far exceeds and overpowers any kind of thinking about anyone else they'd be doing
-# me imagining the one scenario where I meet someone who I've been meaning to say a thingg to and I have a massive argument in my head about it with them where I win and then I meet them and just say "hey what's up" and don't bring it up... Years later it was never talked about but they're forgiven and we're still friends
98% of the time is also their responsibility to tell you they're busy or uncomfortable
aside from natural consideration
yeah idk im just a creature
I need a butler who follows me around and announces when people are flirting with me
"Sire, this one wishes to accompany you to your bed chambers"
YOU WANNA KISS
i wish that was acceptable
👁️ 👃 👁️
sorry, i live a little too far away from you
thats how i would flirt if it wouldnt get me killed
That was a general statement
are you being intentionally dense
IGF meetup. 50/50 chance it's a massive gay make up sesh or nothing happens and peeps just talk
the truth is both
sigh
i need to do some gay kissing
the tinder redownload button is really calling my name
Online dating never appealed to me
you wanna hear something really funny and kind of scary?
👂
i've been reminded of a thingy
it doesnt appeal to me at all actually but its literally the only way ive been able to uh
so the girl im going out with right
well you know
i introduced myself to her with my deadname
anywhas
Ah
and as i was saying bye to her at the party...
Was this when you got high?
she, completely unprompted btw, told me that if i wanted to go by a different name she would do it gladly
chat how did she know
🫵
🫵 WOMAN
same night but i wasnt high at that point
you know whats a really weird thing holding me back from going by my preferred name in all areas of my life rn
i really dont want to have to explain myself to every customer i see every day
do you think random customers actually care to that degree?
yes
why would you say so
they comment on shit every fucking day non stop lmfao
at least 3 of my daily regulars ask me about my piercings every day
Twas very funny when I was an intern
ill be honest i just dont want to talk to them too much in the first place 😭 i dont need them asking questions about my personal life
And I was at a meeting... and I was like "hmmm... I wonder how many people have piercings in this room..."
Count it up and I'm like... "Visibly... Like, 3 or 4 piercingns across everyone in this room... + me at 7 for a total of 11"
Fortunately, I live in a place where piercings, tattoos, dyed hair is very accepted
i'm currently at 6
they healed up because i stopped wearing earrings
Helix, 2 left ear, septum, nostril ring, eyebrow and 1 rigt ear
my goal is 11 i think
i had earlobes but they blistered and didnt cure after 6 months. i had to take them out
i need my bridge, considering getting my ears pierced, maayybeee ||nipples|| but i have heard they hurt really fucking bad and i also dont exactly have the anatomy for them anyways
ah shit im sorry to hear
fuck i pinged you
sorgy
:3
it sounds stupid but i wear my clip on earrings so infrequently that it doesnt feel worth it to get them actually pierced
yeah no thats valid
it would cost $80 at my shop
$40 for a piercing and the jewelry isnt bad but
damn what
for my ears? i just .. dont care enougg
yeah i remember paying like 50 zlote in poland for it, which converted is like 12ish euro i think?
Zlote is a currency?
pretty much the same
huh...
ł
ye, i paid 20 for piercing + 40 for the jewelry * 2 earlobes
im happy with my face setup except i want my bridge done and i always worry the vertical labret is off center
my nostrils are definitely crooked but whatever
something something beauty in flaws
My LCP works!
-- RSEC Melonpan @ LL6 --
[ LICENSES ]
RSEC Melonpan 3, IPS-N Blackbeard 1, HORUS Hydra 2
[ CORE BONUSES ]
Tank Tough, Auto-Stabilizing Hardpoints
[ TALENTS ]
Duelist 3, Drone Commander 2, Skirmisher 2, Executioner 2
[ STATS ]
HULL:4 AGI:2 SYS:0 ENGI:2
STRUCTURE:4 HP:21 ARMOR:2
STRESS:4 HEATCAP:8 REPAIR:7
TECH ATK:-2 LIMITED:+1
SPD:6 EVA:10 EDEF:6 SENSE:8 SAVE:14
[ WEAPONS ]
FLEX MOUNT: SUPERHEAVY WEAPON BRACING
MAIN MOUNT: Kneeblade
HEAVY MOUNT: Servo Breaker // Auto-Stabilizing Hardpoints
[ SYSTEMS ]
Great Cleave, PUPPETMASTER, Synthetic Muscle Netting, Enduring Brutality
Bigg cleave
Though I need to darken the yellow way to fuck.
myself i always wanted to get a tattoo but i'd be afraid of regretting it
I'm not scared of regretting it... I just have no fucking clue what I'd get
maybe something to cover the ||self harm scars on my legs|| would be nice
One of my friends has something similar
I've noticed them but never called it out... Like sewing stitches across
Called out is a bad wording
Asked about, mentioned...
im honestly ashamed of having them really
happy i moved past that time but, those marks are carved into me forever, literally
mine were really visible for like 5 years and when they started to fade for some reason i got super anxious about it
i dont know why
i will forever remember the words of the nurse who saw them the first time i went in for (tw) ||suicidal ideation||
i think i always told myself id cover them up with tattoos but .. i dont need to now? is maybe why it felt weird? bc then it makes me feel like ok well this thing i was gonna do i'm not gonna do anymore and
though i wont say them now unless people want to hear
Only if you're comfortable with it
idk i hope mine fade at some point
oh yeah if i wasnt i wouldnt bring it up, again, open book of a person
basically, i remember lying down on the table as they took a look at me, and the nurse saw them on my leg and said: (tw: weird) ||"They're neat, orderly, almost surgical"||
in the moment i was like whatever but
more recently it kind of sent me reeling a bit
why would she say that? no idea honestly
We love it when professionals say things they shouldn't
but genuinely it messed me up a bit
made me ashamed of them more
i would wear long trousers in 35 degree (celsius) heat to cover them
i have two wildly inappropriate for this public server stories about medical professionals saying things they absolutely should not say
oh yeah this is a public server rigjt
the punchline for one of them was a neutering joke was made to me while i was in the er lol
bruh
horrible
actually that one is sort of tame
genuinely considering making the "fuckass igf chat ranting server"
though it would just become "Cat rants about yet another bad thing that has happened to her"
the tldr is i had a triple false positive for an urgent medical emergency and the doctor was explaining to me that my options were either emergency surgery or i .. well the other thing i just mentioned
turns out
You say that but like. So would everyone
the three other doctors i saw were wrong
i'd join in
It's funny seeing and reading this chat... Then like I tab to GM corner and I'm like "OH SHIT YEAH GAME DESIGN STUFF"
me going to general: why the fuck are we talking about mechs???
walking out of the orgy and into the normal restaurant next door
why was there an orgy restaurant right next to a normal one
Rent
it was cheaper to buy the building there yeah
notably had to buy it because no one would rent a place out knowing what would be all over the walls
Asbestos
strangely enough, pasta sauce
owning the building is 80% of the profit margin
I... would like to say something motivational about the being ashamed of the scars part but I fortunately for me cannot relate to a lot of stuff said here... I could easily say you shouldn't be ashamed but I have not trod the same hard path that you have... Not just you Cat and June but anyone who reads this. But I'd like to say that a lot of people here are hard on themselves with their own struggles... I just want to say, I may be a random internet stranger... The "funny british map person" or "that guy who had the sunglasses and cool hair profile picture". And you all are little names and little profile pictures and little bits... Despite your strugggles I'm glad you're here. I'm glad I've spoken to you and I'm glad we share hobbies. And I wish you all the best with whatever struggles are happening on the opposite side of your phone screen or monitor...
that is so kind and heartfelt, thank you genuinely
i really do appreciate it
despite being nothing but a little red haired chimera profile picture
theres a lot more in there that ive yet to share
I've seen your name pop up... I've laughed at stuff you've said... I ran a damn one shot for you and got your name to adopt DD288 Enjoyer 😛
i've been here for what 27 days i think? but this is one of the nicest corners of the internet i've found myself settling into
i do love this community
damn i make people laugh, wtf
Yeah lots of people here do
only 27?!?!?
It felt like you leapt straight into our hearts on that first day
I've been here for 722 days
it sounds stupid but i do genuinely feel a deeper sense of friendship with some of you guys here than with my irl friends lol
What the fuck
(What the fuck guided to me being here for 722 days not June being friendly)
What the fuck
I've been here for... well I joined pilot net a few years ago for funny emotes
but I've been active in this thread for... about a year now
ive been in this thread for really not that long but thats genuinely my fault for not coming here earlier
this place is cool as fuck and people listen to my unhinged rants here
i know we joke a lot about this place being muse chat and the mods wanting to kill us and never being on topic but i think in a way this chat embodies some of what igf is about and its sort of a .. idk successful mess in that way
i think ive mentioned that this chat feels like what i imagine having friends in calliope would actually be like
You say that but the only time I've seen anything close to a mod intervention was whenn Kai walked in recently
IDK if 5 voices roles are technically mods or just Massif
which like, yeah that was for the best
Yeah
probably should quell that kind of discussion early it tends to not be very productive or useful
surprising that no mods have come after us here for never being on topic or something
was it not vex
Probably was
Yeah it was
Like... it's probably under the remit of whoever made the channel to make sure the forum is on topic
Why would the mods care too much? The mods here are based
People in Calliope having the most heartfelt conversations. Then someone else walks innto the muse chatter and says "Guys, both of you are on the gate... You can just meet up and make out"
I should live in Calliope because the comically large estrogen pill exists
I should also go to fucking bed because it's 3am
jokes on you im already in bed
You can do it ✊
anyways. i love you guys and i think all of you deserve to have your hands held and to feel happiness
almost used a word that would have caused a certain emote to pop up
don't tempt them
sigh. ok i need to go lock in or im gonna end up staying late to finish the work ive been slacking off on
:j:
i'll be back in a couple hours 🫶 and if im not then goodnight calliope
sweet dreams and sleep well
hahaha me when i hit the garage door bc im anxious already driving home and fuck up and dent the door and have to pay probably $600 now also yaayy
damn they werent lying when it rain it do pour
i need it stop raining :(
sigh. i havent cried in like a year and im mad bc i want to today and i have wanted to for like a week and i cant do it
i also got back to my apartment after not being here for like a week after the maintenance people came to fix my toilet that didnt flush and yeah it flushes now but its been running water for god knows how many days bc they left the stupid plunger up
whatever sorry im being a baby bleeghdhdhh
ill send a pic of the couch when its done... lol its sort of like a dog bed tbh
fitting considering.. well yknow
i've been crying all day
the only time i stopped is when most of the crew got together to when we would be playing lancer but now i'm back to... yeah
i literally can't there is something stopping it from happening
and i feel it building up and i just can't fucking take the lid off
jesus christ i think the last time i cried bc of something that wasn't a song or a movie or something it was 5 years ago
i feel like lately its been every day
ignore how much of a disaster the rest of the room is but
chair and couch
review: feels like laying in a dog bed
very comfortable but very low to the ground
i fear the orange is too much? but. we'll see
and yeah, im really sorry life's been happening the way it has been for you lately. i wish there was something tangible i could do or meaningful i could say but. all i can say is that it's going to stop raining someday. it always does. and when it does i want you to know that you will have people around you to enjoy it with who will want to be there with you.
it looks nice
i was expecting a bright orange
that is really easy to work around
the furniture isnt placed anywhere meaningful is what i meant lolol
but yeah its not a bad orange. its just. orange
i know. i hope that can keep me fighting
part of me wishes id have gone with white just bc its a neutral
but i suppose im just locked in to this color scheme now. best thing i can do is do these colors correctly
as much as i want to give up and stop caring i can't. there's too many people and things i care about. i've been hurt severely, by myself and others, but i want to hope that one day things will get better
it's very corduroy. looks comfy as hell
i don't have much now but the friends that i do and you guys are helping me a lot. its been a long rough life for me, but i've seen happiness a few times and i choose to live to see them again
(cw) the thing that got me to ||dump the handful of pills i was going to kill myself with was thinking about my brother. i have been living for him ever since, and probably some time before.||
i wish i could hug you. sigh
i have like two very small tears on my face typing rn. most progress ive made in a while in letting myself feel negative emotions
it is. its very plush
and the material is so soft like. smooth i mean very much like petting a cat
||eleonor stopped me. sometimes i wish she hadn't but it wouldn't have killed me anyways||
and now she's my best friend
i know i keep saying it but all we have really is each other
i always feel so stupid when i think about how i was acting that day
its so corny
it was snowing and i was literally sitting there in the forest thinking about "man this would be really good as a movie scene. like i wish i wasn't ||about to kill myself|| because this would be such a great dramatic shot"
like in my head i was thinking about fucking blade runner
i think that honestly helped me walk myself off the ledge too tbh was just thinking about the fact that id be laughing at myself if i wasnt me
well. whatever. im here now and i need to figure out how to position this couch/dog bed
i opened instagram and just started tearing up again lmfaoaoo you will NEVER guess what over
"make them smile" shut the fuck up stop
juli core
maybe this is just omega depression talking but i wish i didn't have people here for me
(cw) ||i could finally stop fighting so hard||
i think the same thing sometimes but yeah its omega depression talking for sure
i think it feels less like that when you have an impending doom clock ticking away every day
yeah. i can only imagine
there is a comic artist who i have met and spoken to a few times at sdcc named zoe thorogood and her little brother ||committed suicide|| not too long ago. her comics regarding it have made me extremely emotional and listening to her talk about how it's affected her has been one of the biggest things that keeps me from going back to those dark places
(Flash warning) Little hand drawn animation and banjo theme I made. It’s been a year since my brother’s passing, it’s hard to type stuff so I’ll just let the video speak for itself. Thank you for watching. Keep going, enjoy the sandwiches.
615464
i'm tearing up again having just watched this one
idk. i'm not in a good frame of mind to be a part of a conversation like this
i want to believe it gets better but every time it has in my life it collapses even harder
thats ok. i can go back to talking about the couch or the prospect of me learning how to run icon lol
tbh unless i know for a fact we're playing i'm not gonna learn icon
and i'm gonna do what i can but my mental state is not great so no promises i'll remember everything
thanks for listening to me, though. i know i always wanna be able to be there for everyone all the time but its nice to feel people being there for me too
and yeah fair, i feel the same way about learning to run it
it seems like . a lot of moving parts
Im awake
-# sorry for not adding to the conversation earlier, had a lot to say but I’m not really sure how to actually say it right now…
-# but I just want to say that I’ve truly come to love this little corner of the internet, just lurking here and reading stories helped me through so much of this year.
good morning léo
-# also, I’m happy that silly little crabs are now “Juli core”
-# hello! hello! hello!
makes me smile every time
Good night Calliope, and may you all dream of silly little crabs
No Leo, I’m running to bed because it’s the middle of the night here
A likely story
And my body operates on the bedtime schedule of a 6/60 year old
it's 11:47
i should be responsible and go to bed but i legitimately kinda just dont want to and my brain is throwing a little baby temper tantrum about it
you are the weird ocean creature
goodnight juli

look i understand and agree that european manners of measurement are better and make more sense but
my little american brain is hard wired like this
goodnight calliope may tomorrow treat us all more kindly
mwah

goodnight gamer
last ror run and then i go eep too
i've been trying to wake up earlier to fight the bad brain
plus i want to stop by the cafe downstairs
goodnight peoples
Gnight Calliope
I hope tomorrow is kinder to all of us
I did not take my umbrella despite the possibility of precipitation and I probably should have 
a risk... perhaps
cumandur
[CYBERPUNK MUSIC]
morn :>
morno
good 11:56
it is a morning indeed
Riesgo de Lluvias no puede ser
wow im looking back now at last night and
I really went off didnt i
its a good thing everything i say is worth your time and objectively correct
What happened i was busy sleeping at reasonnable hours
Also the very hungry Leo strikes again. I did not realise i was ordering this much food
teacher training interview went pretty well just now (I think)

i did accidentally use the word grooming in front of them when I shouldn't have but I was appropriately chagrinned and I was getting along with the main interviewer really well I think. And my answers to all her questions felt good.
and it's nice to dress up occasionally in a fancy suit
juli whats your favourite npc class
summary: I got a date, we talked about that shit, talked about hurting people and insecurities, piercings, self harm, faces, risk of rain and why the mods havent smited us yet
The mods will smite us in about 50 years
Or insert whatever time it takes to travel from union to calliope
goddamn it leo
cant say anything in calliope
yeah you can, you just did
depends if we are using blinkspace or not
You fool there is no blinkgate in calliope that's the entire point
We have Rao Co but... yeah forget about blinkgates except that one
It's still like 6 light years away from calliope
true true
Afternoon
My slumber schedule is off wack
Now I must beat the shit out of people for 2 hours
Hullo, it's raining here
It's pretty nice given that it brings down the temperature. For context I live in Phoenix.
oh great heavens
dark souls victory text but saying "DRIVER'S LICENCE RENEWED"
Yay!
I kind of forgot
nah its not that big a deal i just find it funny
10 years. Dawnline shore is 6
right
There's a ton of other factors, of course, but the #1 reason i wanted to go on E was this emotional constipation. I cry like a bitch now xD
E makes your tears flow better?
it certainly did for me
Someone must be putting some in the water supply because I cry all the damn time
E makes you cry more? damn i thought it was bad enough as is
i have heard tale from trans masc folks that sometimes going on T feels like your emotions are a little duller or maybe more confusion? like a bit of lost clarity
so, highly informally, E makes you cry
estrogenized by the state of France
If I ever take E I'm going to lose all the water in my body through my tearducts, got it
theyre putting chemicals in the water that turn the frenchmen trans
I'm gonna listen to music for like 5 minutes and then start tearing up again
Granted it is a concert and it is about a fairly emotional story arc in a game but I didn't even play it, man
It's just so peak
crying is for women
No it's not
Estrogen Extract
You know, here, you take a look when you can, you tell me if it hits when you know nothing about the story at all. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SrvTXJxxRc&t=919s
** The video contains flashing lights that may not be suitable for photosensitive viewers.
** English, Japanese, Korean, and Traditional Chinese subtitles are available.
Ambience Synesthesia 2024 RES:Souvenance Live Video Reveal
★ X(Twitter)
https://x.com/ArknightsAS_EN
starts at the timestamp, punches me in the face at around 19:00 when the countdown starts
Here Al you can have one blue pill as a treat
estrogen hehe
estorgen
also there's nothing funnier than make your ace friend play monster roadtrip heh

Why did you tie Naana to the carseat and did she get to play as the mothmin character?
she fuckin' romanced him till the very end
one day, I need to finally play monster prom 4
I'll say one thing
...
ping when you do :>
juli you are a weird ocean creature now
because I always was one
I'm tired of pretending I'm something I'm not 
how it feels to be transgender
classic
Time to terrorize the ocean as leviathans

-# finally found this video
video of juli and her kind
Do we have a video of Juli and her mean
my mean?
fishm
I don;t know why, but actively running numbers and theory crafting how many militia members are a thing on the station tickles my brain
its a play on me saying juli and her kind
I thought you were the crab
Crabb
Of course I am, I just fixed it so I didn't misgender the meanies
if juli and the meanies was a band, what music would they make
Hope-core
Mind controlling vent crab encounter...
Vent crab falls from celling
Hijacks your central nervous system
makes you take your meds, have a nice meal, take a shower, and have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
leaps back into the vents right before you wake up
the horror
The fuck ass half life 3 hope core meme is so baffling to me...
we are hopecoring with this one!11!!!
think about it
steam released the cube PC
Also, please check out LOST CATALOG in the latest lancer news channel. My buddy made it and it is very good homebrew :)
It really is 
I'm still not sure if Eruca should pilot a Will o Whisp instead of an Amber Phantom
Will o whisp?
I can confirm seeing the Will oWhisp in action is very neat
This little guy
With the power of fake guns
Will o whisp pros
Can help Ana on the hacking front
very mobile
matches Eruca's vibe of being too small
omg its ori and the will o the wisp
i-is this literally the power of mind?!
Pictured Catch "Curse" Craven said, I CAST GUN with his Will o Wisp
gun? gun!
the mind goblin
Amber Phantom pros
5d6 DSAS that can crit fish
can pop core power to do a team hyper combo with someone
funny invisible button
Lesbian
dsas?
tutel shotgun
Straight up sweeping on it
Tortuga ll1 weapon
Eruca Alt
Alt-ruca, if you will
The Eruca
nvm i guess no one is bookworm enough to get the ref 😔
guess i'll go back to my homewrecking
You should know by now I don't know how to read
I can't read that last sentence
Nooo I'm sorry for not knowing that Alt was a reference and not just short for "alternative"!!!!!!!
goteem
I was gonna say that for the sentence before that but that works too
no it's okay babes it was a silly niche reference
i knew you were gonna say that, that's why i rushed to get it out
Damn if I could read I'd be very upset
btw how does AmPhan do 5d6 DSAS crit
2d6 base, 1d6 opcal, 1d6 nuccav, 1d6 damage trait?
Filthy minmaxer...

It's okay we still love you

shotfun
are the wallflower varframes the only variants with non-efficient CP
oh huh
i need to make more of these to post, i think
LESGOOOOO
if i had nitro i'd make the transgender fire text my banner

