#Creative Writing

1 messages · Page 4 of 1

valid zenith
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no

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i'm changing that

solemn crest
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So were all the heroes in one place? Except for Rhys, Tyler and S

valid zenith
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pretty much every hero was affected by unity

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Rhys, Tyler and S didn't gain their powers until after Elaine left the cult. And all of their powers were gained through non-natural means

solemn crest
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Remind me what Rhys' powers are, again

valid zenith
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He can see and comminicate with ghosts

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Characters like Elaine and Evilectric developed their powers naturally. Rhys, Tyler and S gained theirs unnaturally.

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Rhys due to the explosion that killed Nate and put his arm into a sling. Tyler due to a different explosion that turned his dad into Cryoflame. And S due to experimentation by the scientists.

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So they were literally the only options.

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Also Lucid Dreamer, but he was naturally immune to mind control since his dream self wasn't human.

solemn crest
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Makes sense

valid zenith
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But they were all far enough away from Unity that they hadn't yet been affected

solemn crest
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Also, about that cover I said I might do
Higher priority stuff came up so I don't think I'm going to do it anymore

valid zenith
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that's okay

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Actually, I think I might have found a way for Evilectric to lose their superspeed for a short time

solemn crest
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Do tell

valid zenith
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okay

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i just thought of two optons and i'm not sure which is viable. because one definitely will happen. i'm not sure when

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but some point after unity is defeated, Cryoflame ends up going nuclear and exploding and covering the world in fire and ice, so maybe they're affected by that.

the other option is to have them shot by the Skeleton Archer because he just wants to kill everyone

solemn crest
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You still have a long way before you put that into writing so if I was you, I'd think of a reason that absolutely makes sense within your story

valid zenith
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yeah

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point is the superspeed can't be removed permanently

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and i don't want to disable my characters any more than they are already

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because i literally have someone who can't see or hear, someone who technically has one arm and someone who technically has no arms

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I could take a lot of them in a fight

valid zenith
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again, not meant to be super strong

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i'm going to do a group drawing of them at some point

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I should also spew some lore on one of my universe's stories as well

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I know which one I will focus on

valid zenith
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which one?

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Sun Blade

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Name work on progress

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The one for Eric, the kid who had his parents killed by the shadow samurai

valid zenith
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ah right

valid zenith
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@solemn crest New Rhys lore:

He has a ghostly apparition of his arm and whenever he makes contact with a ghost (ie holds his brother's hand), he gains ghost powers himself.

valid zenith
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@solemn crest slight lore change:

Evilectric doesn't learn of the cult's existence until after they meet Elaine. Up until that point, they are unaware that the heroes pursuing them are being brainwashed and believe they are targeting them on their own accord (remember their goal is to recruit them). So they develop a genuine hatred for them, which was fueled by the Soul Demon, and has attempted to kill them on numerous occassions, some successfully. It wasn't until after they learn of the cult via Elaine that they experience a moral crisis at the thought of having killed people who were acting against their free will.

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valid zenith
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Killing people is crossing the line

valid zenith
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They very much snapped due to constant abuse and being possessed

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Once they found out the truth, they had a mental breakdown

solemn crest
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I cannot see myself rooting for someone who has taken the life of someone 😔

valid zenith
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You're supposed to root for Elaine

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I am

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And I do

valid zenith
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Basically I'd describe Evilectric as a morally complicated villain. They very much don't want to be evil, but were forced to and once Unity gets defeated and the cult "freed", they attempt to turn themselves into the cult to pay for their sins but are unable to for reasons I have yet to think of. But they do try to redeem themselves, however think of themself as irredeemable.

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Actually I've just thought of a reason.

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I'm listening

valid zenith
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They turn themselves into the cult to pay their penance (so this is during Elaine's quest to restore the world's memories, so this is how I get them out of the party). Their powers are drained after the battle with Unity. Due to Unity's mind wipe, they are unaware of who Evilectric really is and only see them as an ordinary criminal associated with the gang of heroes. So they torture them to get information of them using a cattle prod, which unbeknownst to them increases their strength until they regain enough power to escape and slaughter everyone in sight, knowing they had free will this time.

Evilectric's anger level and villain level is determined by how much electricity is flowing through them. The more there is, the eviler, crueler and out of touch with reality they become, believing themselves to be a God. When there is little to none inside them, they snap back to reality and feel genuine remorse for their actions. This split personality only came about as a result of the Soul Demon's possession.

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This is grim

valid zenith
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Yep

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Welcome to me not being able to write actually happy characters

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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And the thing is that Evilectric genuinely considers Elaine, Hocus Pocus and the others to be friends. But, due to being a slave to their emotions, can and will lash out at them at any moment

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valid zenith
valid zenith
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@solemn crest

So, he's a demon. And he comes from the underworld but now resides on Earth. He has horns, a pointy tail and demon wings. His powers include flying, shapeshifting, pyrokinesis and telekinesis. His usual outfit choice is a magician's outfit, so a waistcoat and a tailcoat, custom made to allow his wings to protrude without damaging the materials, plus a top hat. He's a magician. That's his job. He's aroace. And he actually represents one of the 7 deadly sins alongside his siblings, in this case, pride (both in an lgbtq way and being very proud of what he does). Also, none of them are villains. They're just goobers who like to have fun and are content with their particular sin.

solemn crest
# valid zenith <@860086299322613770> So, he's a demon. And he comes from the underworld but n...

Okay, I have a few questions.

  1. Can he beat a Mantis Shrimp in a fight

  2. If he's one of the seven deadly sins, why does he need to work in the overworld, arent the sins practically like kings and queens? Unless your story follows it's own structure of hell where the sins aren't that more powerful than the average demon which then sure, being the representative for pride would then be shitty when the average demon still has a fighting chance against you

  3. Wdym hes not a villain? Doesn't he embody the sin of pride? Thinking you're greater and thinking very little of everyone else? He'd just be a narcissist if so. If he doesn't embody the sin, then why is he the sin of pride? Is he just the same as every other demon then? Was he just chosen to be the sin of pride because he did something in heaven one time, if so wouldn't he be a fallen angel and not a demon. Questions people

  4. What's his favourite type of Mantis Shrimp

valid zenith
solemn crest
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4 is inconclusive

valid zenith
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But aside from that

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He's just a goober

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Plus I wanted a demonic OC

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I already have a pure evil demon OC anyway.

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Let me have a little guy

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But also, he is not the embodiment of pride. He just represents it.

solemn crest
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This reminds me how I wanted to make my own 7 deadly sins OCs

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Byt they're actually all pure evil

valid zenith
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Like, the sins are just part of their personalities

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But they are genuinely nice people

solemn crest
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And wrath?

valid zenith
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It's a plot twist, because you'd expect them to be evil

valid zenith
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I don't think thats what...

valid zenith
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let me have my fun dammit

valid zenith
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Which part, the strength or the uncontrolled anger

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Because both would fit wrath

valid zenith
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He also gets angry

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But he doesn't turn evil as a result

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I wouldn't want to be near him

valid zenith
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Similar to Hulk

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Just very destructive

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He's basically the brawn of the group

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Its very hard writing characters to embody one of the seven deadly sins without either cutting it back a lot or just having them as terrible people

valid zenith
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Y'know how fictional groups of siblings each has their personalties? This is that

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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When you're introduced to them, you think "ah shit they're evil", then it's revealed nope they're just goobers

solemn crest
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Makes sense

valid zenith
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But I've only thought Pride through

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(name a WIP)

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no

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they're a circus troupe

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Wrath is the strongman (who is prone to destroying the set in a fit of rage)

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And Pride is the magician (do circuses have magicians?)

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valid zenith
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valid zenith
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You know that thing where circus people blow fire?

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Since he has pyrokinesis, he can just do that naturally

solemn crest
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Reminds me of something

valid zenith
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Go on

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# valid zenith Go on

Tried to look for a gif but I cant find a specific one

But there's this game called Little Fighter 2 and there's a character who can do the same thing and that is breathe fire out of his mouth

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Game in question

valid zenith
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So this is their power sets (WIP):

All of them have flight and shapeshifting.

Pride: Telekinesis & Pyrokinesis
Wrath: Super strength and endurance, made stronger the angrier he is
Sloth: Healing, but only when she's asleep (she's nearly always asleep)
Gluttony: Unlimited appetite and can eat non-food items as a way of storing them (he's a sword swallower)
Envy: Possession (follows possession laws in my universe) and mind control (again same rules apply)
Greed: Teleportation and sensing (knowing where things are)
Lust: Superspeed

solemn crest
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Was sex not a superpower

valid zenith
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valid zenith
solemn crest
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This single frame is all the context I need

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"It was me Barry, I censored you censored at supersonic speed to make it look like you censored censored censored censored censored censored"

valid zenith
# solemn crest I forgot to also question that

His pride isn't actually directed towards himself, but towards his siblings because he's proud of them (again, twisting the narrative). And since he's a magician, he uses his powers to aid in his magic

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They're not meant to be a perfect representation of the sins.

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Just a fun parody

solemn crest
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Parody's were illegal until a few decades ago

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Im going to time travel and sue you

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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But yeah no their story is that they're demon siblings from the underworld and they just got bored so decided to go to Earth and start their own circus

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And everyone's afraid of them because they're demons

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But yadda yadda yadda shit happens

solemn crest
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Actually, I'll take you back before copyright laws protected people against really old content so I can sue you for copying the bibble

valid zenith
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people find out they're actually nice people

valid zenith
valid zenith
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@solemn crest Random lore drop that i decided to make up because I can:

||So, Evilectric has their crash out after everything that happens and ultimately failing to stop Unity. And once their energy drains significantly enough that they regain a glimpse of their sanity again, they decide to build a device that effectively buffers their power output. This keeps them from crashing out again, but at the cost of not being able to use their powers. And they can remove it at anytime, but it comes with the cost of their mental stability, which is already teetering as is.||

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valid zenith
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They just like me fr

valid zenith
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They still wear the eyepatch though since the mark of the Soul Demon remains. It's just not as large due to the decreased power level.

solemn crest
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Makes sense

valid zenith
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But deep inside they feel like a failure because they failed to acomplish the one thing they wanted to do, which was to give people their free will back.

valid zenith
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@solemn crest I made a new OC

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valid zenith
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So

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Her name is Ari

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She is a trans girl

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And she is half-human

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half-||mermaid||

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valid zenith
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valid zenith
valid zenith
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valid zenith
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So anyway

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back to Ari

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So, her father is a human and her mother is a mermaid

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(don't ask)

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And in my universe, all mermaids are female

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So Ari is the first cross-species

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valid zenith
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However one of them was able to mix her egg cells with that of a human's

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Anyway

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Because of her human genes, Ari is born male

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Has male anatomy

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The only mermaid-like feature she possesses is the ability to breathe underwater

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Her father is a trawlerman who lives by the sea

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valid zenith
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It's a fictional universe

valid zenith
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Anyway

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She spits her time between her father who lives beside the sea and her mother who lives in an underwater city

solemn crest
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Hawk tuah

valid zenith
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Over time, she starts to feel more in touch with her mermaid side and eventually comes out as a trans girl

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And she ends up getting a special kind of bottom surgery that replaces her human legs (and junk) with a fish tail so she can become a true mermaid and plans to spend the rest of her life living underwater

solemn crest
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Is that just a surgery anyone can get

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And where does the tail replacing her legs come from

valid zenith
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No, only her since she already was part mermaid

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you could do it to a human, but they can't breathe underwater

valid zenith
solemn crest
valid zenith
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The surgeon was a mermaid

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and it was a high risk procedure that Ari was willing to take

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Anyway

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valid zenith
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It's literally just amputating both of her legs and penis and grafting a fish tail onto her lower half

solemn crest
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You say that like it's straight forward 😭

valid zenith
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This is a fictional universe

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It doesn't need make sense

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All you need to know is that trans girl who is already part mermaid gets surgery to get a fish tail to become a full mermaid and live her life underwater with the other mermaids

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Anyway

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Something bad happens

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Some poachers come and kill off all the mermaids because their scales are deemed super valuable and they want them all for themselves

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And they do so by polluting the water making it impossible for them to survive

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However, since she is still half-human, Ari is able to breathe air and manages to escape, being saved by her father

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So she is no longer able to live underwater

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And she immediately regrets getting rid of her legs for a fish tail, which her father ensures her she was trying to get into her true body and that she couldn't have seen this coming

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So now she is the last of the mermaids living on dry land

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And she uses a wheelchair to get around

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She keeps her tail covered under a blanket so that no one knows she's a mermaid in case they try to kill her for it.

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valid zenith
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Here's the thing though

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No one actually knows mermaids exist

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They're mythical

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The only reason Ari's father knew is because he lived by the sea all his life

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And he kept their existence a secret

solemn crest
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So how would their scales be worth something worth a lot of money if there isn't a market for said thing that's supposed to be mythical

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And how do the poachers know?

valid zenith
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I didn't learn Business for 3 years to get bamboozled

valid zenith
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Yes, but they're made of a rare material that has monetary value

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Plus capitalism

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Anyway

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What's the said material?

valid zenith
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Ari does eventually move to the city to try start a new life for herself, making sure no one finds out she's a mermaid

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So she basically poses as a disabled trans girl

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valid zenith
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becuase i haven't decided yet

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And she goes to college to study marine biology

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She'll be known as the girl that always has a blanket over her legs

valid zenith
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a lot of wheelchair users cover their legs with blankets

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it's not an odd thing

solemn crest
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Hmmm

valid zenith
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as far as anyone knows, she is just a trans girl who can't walk

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oh yeah, she is open about her transness though

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She's just trusting her whole life on a blanket

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God forbid it gets windy

valid zenith
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it's a very heavy blanket

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because she has a fish tail, she gets cold easily

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I gotta ask now, is she in the same world as all the other characters?

valid zenith
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but she's introduced much later

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like after the unity arc

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all of my characters exist in the same universe

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I might write down the whole timeline for the character in my story

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Tommorow

valid zenith
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cool

valid zenith
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@solemn crest Changing lore slightly. Ari wasn't forced out of the ocean by poachers, but by pirates. And as a result, she's initially scared of Elaine as she mistakes her for a pirate.

solemn crest
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I'm guessing these pirates aren't the realistic ones

valid zenith
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So yes?

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They're the fantasy pirates?

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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Also since Ari is part non-human, mind control doesn't work on her meaning she can remember the world pre-Unity

valid zenith
# solemn crest Okay Kill a girl for asking questions

Also after Elaine escapes the cult, Unity implanted an image of her inside of everyone's mind so that they would instantly recognise her and take her in if caught. So she couldn't take off her eyepatch in fear of being recognised.

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valid zenith
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remember the forest no longer exists

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so she doesn't have its protection

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Elaine and Ari

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The plan I have for now is this:

After Unity's defeat, the world's memories gets reset and the only people who can remember (as far as we know) are Elaine, Evilectric, Hocus Pocus, Rhys, Nate and Tyler ||(I am planning on killing off S here)||. Unfortunately, Claire is one of the affected and no longer recognises Elaine and thus no longer loves her. Elaine tried to rekindle her memory of her by taking off her eyepatch as Claire was the only person she trusted to see her face without it, but it just caused her to lash out, which is what made Elaine realise that everyone would recognise her without the eyepatch and not for good reason, so she vows never to remove it again. She had lost her home and her love.

Hocus Pocus would go back to his study to try and find a way to restore the world's memories. Evilectric went into solitude to try and atone for their crimes, eventually creating a device that would control their power level. And Elaine tries to make a new life for herself in the city, a big bustling area where she could easily blend in with the crowds and hopefully not be noticed. Rhys, Nate and Tyler come with her as they have no home to go back to. Elaine and Rhys decide to attend a local college to give themselves something to do. Ari is also a student here and sees Elaine sitting in a hall next to Rhys and gets scared, mistaking Elaine for a pirate because of her eyepatch. She tries to get as far away as possible, but her wheelchair gets stuck and Elaine goes over to help. After Elaine ensures her she isn't a real pirate, Ari calms down. The three of them become friends and find out that they're all trans and disabled, which makes Ari nervous as she doesn't see herself as disabled (at this point in time, Ari thinks Elaine's eyepatch is due to a physical disability, not a mental one). ||(still workshopping this next bit)|| Ari says something that makes Elaine and Rhys realise she remembers the past, and reveal they remember the past too. Ari then reveals herself to them as a mermaid, explaining her situation and why she uses a wheelchair.

solemn crest
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Elaine is disabled?

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Oh wait, I didn't finish reading

valid zenith
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Her eye works fine. She just can't take her eyepatch off for fear of being recognised

valid zenith
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The only characters I have that are physically disabled are Rhys and Tyler. Ari is pretty much only disabled on dry land.

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Also ||Rhys and Ari|| become a couple

solemn crest
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For some reason, I've never thought about those types of relationships in any stories I write

valid zenith
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Also

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Ari is short for Ariel

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Fun
My stories never have side stuff, it's just "if this person is going to die, the protagonist I'd going to do all they can to get them killed" and almost nothing in the side

valid zenith
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i see

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yeah so all this is basically part 2 of my story.

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part 1 is the unity arc

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i haven't created a villain for part 2 yet

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unity is definitely an overarching antagonist as she had a major impact on the world

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I just remembered that I said I'll write my story today

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I got sidetracked

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it happens

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tbf i'm coming up with shit for part 2 when i haven't even finished part 1 yet

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i'm thinking way too far ahead

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It's called avoiding responsibilities planning ahead

valid zenith
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exactly

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@solemn crest The way it works is that while under Unity's control, people have no control over their thoughts and actions. When she goes to sleep, people regain control. But as soon as she wakes up, all of their previous memories are erased. So when she's asleep, the only thing people remember is that day's events. So, for example, Elaine can only remember her final day in the cult, and everything there after. So, she has no memory of her past. After Unity's death, people regain their independence, but can only remember the last day in the cult. And since Unity has stripped them of their identities, they cannot remember who they are.

solemn crest
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Well, at least in their minds

valid zenith
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Information still exists in written form

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But Unity did attempt to destroy some of it, meaning some is lost to history

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So nobody is skilled at anything?

valid zenith
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Knowledge still exists

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Elaine was able to write a diary

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People can still do things, they just don't know their names, families and occupations

solemn crest
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No like, nobody is skilled at any of their professions after Unity erased their memories?

Like someone who's a doctor is practically the same as a homeless guy now

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The question is how do they rebuild society if memories no longer exist

solemn crest
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Read a few hundred thousand books I reckon

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Oh

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So he doesn't know he can diagnose people until he has to do it?

valid zenith
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And also, they're all still loyal to Unity because she had implanted that thought into their minds

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The only reason Elaine isn't is because the animals told her otherwise

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The point is that the plot revolves around Elaine, Rhys, Tyler, Nate and Ari trying to navigate a world that can't remember, while being one of the few who can

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Wait, so how does she attend college if nobody remembers their occupation

valid zenith
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That's what I'm trying to work out

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The best solution I can think of is that a few months has passed since Unity's death and people are just trying to fill in the holes in society

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So stuff like jobs and college start up again, but really slowly as people are trying to figure it out

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And they decide to adopt new identities since their old ones are lost to time

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So, the college Elaine, Rhys and Ari isn't super populated and everyone is still of a hivemind somewhat, so they are seen as outcasts

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I mean, they are outcasts

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Wait, so they know they're supposed to have Jobs but just don't remember what they are?

valid zenith
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Yes

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Basically, under Unity, they still had jobs

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But she was controlling them

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I'm still trying to figure this out

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One thing I have figured out is that Elaine and the gang basically decide that ||the world isn't worth saving||.

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I mean, there isn't much to save tbh

valid zenith
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Yeah

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Also ||the world gets destroyed because of Cryoflame||

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And ||Claire never gets her memories back, but does decide to give Elaine another chance after much convincing||

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Why a happy ending

valid zenith
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Idk

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I felt Elaine should have one

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After all she's been through

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I mean, yeah

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Not to compare tragedies or anything, but out of the entire group
She's had it the best

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Besides Evilectric ig

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Hover, she was in a cult for literal years

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against her will

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Still beats having your brother literally die

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she could have a brother, she just can never remember

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she has no idea who her family is or was

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Everyone else at least remembers their family

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That's kind of better because her family sold her to the cult

valid zenith
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No they didn't

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Unity brainwashed her

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That's how she got indoctrinated

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Her family was also affected

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Oh, I forgot that you changed the lore

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Unity seperated them because Elaine had powers

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did i?

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At first, you said that her family sold her to the cult

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oh

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I vividly remember that

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i forgot

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no, she was caught by unity

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But, now that I think about it

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Everyone in the group had it rough

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Most of them are physically or mentally disabled as a result of trauma

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Yet they somehow found solace in each other

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I almost forgot about him
He's so insignificant sometimes despite him being a really powerful wizard

valid zenith
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Insignificant?

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He's a major character

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I barely hear about him doing anything at all
All I remember is that he helped Evilectric get rid of the demon and that he also let everyone see into the future or something

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Other than that, you haven't really said much

valid zenith
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He was the one who originally planted the forest Elaine and Claire lived in before Unity burned it

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He also was part of the final battle against Unity

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Also ||he makes HRT for Elaine, Rhys and Ari||

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I'll be honest, I have an easier time visualising the story than actually putting it into words.

valid zenith
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@solemn crest I wrote some short descriptions about my main OCs. Let me know if I should change anything.

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Here's some short descriptions about some of my OCs:

  • Elaine is a transgender girl with the power to speak with animals. Having escaped from a cult when she was a teenager, she was left stranded in the world with no family and no memories. She escapes to a mystical forest where she meets the love of her life, Claire, but sadly she is snatched away from her. She's able to get revenge on the leader of the cult that took away everything from her, but it left her in a world that couldn't remember itself. She hides her face behind an eyepatch in order to escape her past.

  • Evilectric is an enby who possesses the powers of electrokinesis and superspeed. Having the power to resist the cult's hypnotic brainwaves, they are endlessly tormented by its members, who will stop at nothing to recruit them. Things take a turn for the worse when they are possessed by the Soul Demon, causing them to lose their vision for two years. These incidents drive them insane and they go on a rampage, only stopping when they realised the destruction they have caused.

  • Tyler is a young boy who went deaf one day, but had the miraculous ability to regain it upon blindfolding himself. His father took him in for testing in a military facility but disaster strikes as the machine Tyler was connected to is caught in an explosion. This heightened Tyler's sight and hearing to superhuman levels, allowing him to see extremely far and with precise detail and to hear a pin drop from miles away. However, he can only use one power at a time and must be completely disabled in the other sense. Since he is unable to naturally regulate his sight/hearing levels, he typically wears a blindfold and industrial strength headphones in order to keep the noise down to a reasonable level, which he only ever removes if he needs to use his powers.

  • Rhys and Nate are transgender twin brothers who get into an accident, which costs Nate his life, and leaves Rhys seriously injured. Instead of being sent to a normal hospital for recovery, his parents disown him for insisting that both he and his late brother are trans and for claiming he can see and hear him and send him to a torturous facility where he is bound and forced to watch anti-trans propaganda. He is eventually freed from the facility and is reunited with his brother, as the accident gave him the power to communicate with ghosts. It also left his right arm completely paralyzed, so he wears it in a sling. As a result, he as a ghostly projection of his right arm which he can use to transform into a ghost, should he make contact with one.

  • Ari is a half-human, half-mermaid hybrid born to a human father and mermaid mother. Ari possesses human anatomy, but the ability to breathe underwater, and spits her time between the ocean and the beach where her father lives. She got a surgery to replace her legs with a mermaid tail to live with the all-female mermaids when she realised she's trans. However, a few years after this procedure, pirates attack her home, killing every mermaid in sight and stealing their scales, which are worth millions. Due to her human physiology, Ari is able to escape to the surface, having the ability to breathe air and is rescued by her father. The ocean becomes polluted and Ari is unable to return to it. She uses a wheelchair to get around, and keeps her tail hidden under a blanket as to not expose herself as a mermaid, but will take any opportunity to swim in a body of water that she can find.

solemn crest
# valid zenith Here's some short descriptions about some of my OCs: - Elaine is a transgender ...

For Tyler, I dont think you need to mention all of that about his father

You could instead say "his father took him in for testing in a military facility"

This second one is just personal preference, but to me it would sound better if you said "...Tyler's sight and hearing to superhuman levels"

And you can remove the part about what the explosion did to his father because this description isnt about his father and it could be written in his own description.
Only time you should mention someone else in a description is if there's cause and effect on the character you're describing.
For example "he was beaten by his father so..." or "her so called friends treated her badly which made her..."

Otherwise for Tyler it's good

For Ari, its kind of a big change and is mostly my personal preference so you don't need to take this one too seriously.

The part where you described how she wanted to live in the sea after finding out she's trans seems like it could be worded differently.

Instead it could say, "She got a surgery to replace her legs with a mermaid tail to live with the all female mermaids when she realised she's trans"

Otherwise, all good

valid zenith
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Looks good

valid zenith
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Thanks

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I would written some for Hocus Pocus, S, Claire, Unity, etc.. but I ran out of space and I'm tired.

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Im always tired

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My story
Untitled but working on a name
A quick introduction of who the Main Characters are

Eric
Before the main events of the story was just the average kid. He did kid stuff, go to school and all that boring stuff.
In this world infested with people with super powers, he had none.
-# the population of people with abilities are around 5% btw
He lived in the countryside, a pretty rural place with almost barely anyone living there.

Hayley
She's the daughter of a really rich dude who practically owns the part of Europe she lives in, which is where Eric lives as well.
-# Europe in this universe has practically gone full circle and become infested with monarchs and all that stuff, but people can offer to buy parts of Europe and stuff from the royals that own all of Europe, kinda like buying land. When you buy a part of the continent, you basically rule over the continent and everyone lives under your laws and stuff. But the laws are still monitored by all of Europe so you cant do something silly like make murder legal. oh yeah, and country's don't exist because of this.
Back to Hayley before I get side tracked.
She practically hates her dad because he won't let her do whatever she wants and basically makes her act all royal and stuff and attend events she doesn't want to attend and all that stuff.
Also Hayley is trans and her father doesnt approve of that, but he can't really do anything about it because his wife would literally kill her if he did.
And they live in a giant mansion so they practically never see each other so it's all good.

#

Now for the actual story:
It starts when the Immortal Samurai raids the country side with his goons in search of a glowing stone that would give him a lot of power because the only abilities he has are Puppet control and the immortal curse so he practically doesnt have much. In the process of raiding the country side, him and his goons kill a lot of innocent bystanders and that includes Eric's entire family leaving him as the only one who's alive. All sad and shit, he ventures out into the woods and into a cave where he finds you guessed it the stone that the immortal samurai was looking for. The stone was not a stone and like a metal and was like super big and stuff, but Eric decided to roll it over to a swordsmith to make it into a sword for him because he wants to kill the immortal samurai. He's super determined and stuff but the swordsmith thinks it's a suicide mission because how is he going to kill someone who's immortal. With a lot of pestering and being super annoying, he convinces the swordsmith to make the metal he got from the woods into an actual sword.

#

So that he doesnt immediately die, after making the sword, he asks a friend of his to teach him how to fight. Also, the sword gave him powers which are speed, fire, an ability to sense his surroundings and an ability that gives him a 10% chance of absorbing someone's ability when he kills them and also demon like abilities.
-# not pulling this out of my ass, I think I've said this before, but metal that he found in the woods wasnt an ordinary metal.
-# to make this a bit more understandable, I have to explain how people in this world get powers.
-# so, people in this world have special type of DNA that determines if they'll have powers or not. The DNA is activated by a special type of nutrient that is found in the water they drink and stuff you probably guessed it the metal that Eric found is made out of. Since the rock that Eric found was like a super buffed version of that nutrient, it altered his DNA when he touched it to include the one that gives him powers. cool? cool
So he practically gets trained for years on how to fight, like some pretty intense training becauase the person training him doesnt was like in the military or something. That training basically made him less whimsy because it was like military levels of training except that it was karate and learning how to handle a sword.
So after years of this training, at the age of 15 he sets off to find and kill the Immortal Samurai.

#

So he then realises that he doesnt know where the samurai is because he stays lowkey and shit. So he has to gather information from his assosiates by asking very nicely and having a nice conversation with them (threatening them) and since he's like really strong now, he has no problem with doing this.
So after months passing of him gathering information from the samurai's associates, while tracking another one of their associates.

I was gonna write more but for some reason, Discord keeps deleting parts of the text when I leave this channel. Basically anything after 4500 words get deleted for some reason, will resume writing because 1000 words of the same text have gotten deleted twice already so I'm a bit tired.

valid zenith
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Okay
Next part

So while he's tracking one of the other samurai's associates, he bumps into someone and finds out that they're also doing the same thing as them but the boring way of just following them and listening in on their conversations. The person he bumped into is also a part of a corporation made to take down people like the immortal samurai. He shows him that he can get the information out of them by threatening them. Killing is never off the table.
The person he bumped into recruits him into the corporation promising that they'll give him more resources and stuff to be able to track him down better. Eric agrees seeing that his only goal is to kill him and stuff.

At the corporations HQ, while he's getting custom made armour, Hayley is touring the place at just the right time because surprise surprise, his father owns that corporation which in turn means that she also owns it.
She spots Eric and immediately gets a huge crush on him (no, they won't be a thing) so she asks her dad if she can join, ofc her dad says no because he's a raging cunt but after some arguing, she finally convinces him. She gets to tag along to whatever Eric is doing. And also, she has a forcefeild ability, so she's practically always safe.

Fast forward a bit, Eric and Hayley find out that there's a division of 7 members known as the something clan (name is a work in progress) and they are garunteed to know where the samurai is and stuff.

#

Because I havent thought of what will happen here, I'll leave it blank and skip to where I already planned everything

So somehow, they find all there is to know about the Immortal Samurai which is where his base is, where he plans to go and all that stuff.
Eric basically tells Hayley that the samurai is strong and could kill her even with her forcefeild thingamajig.
Hayley stays and Eric goes to a suicide mission to try to kill the IMMORTAL Samurai. He finds the samurai and like the dumbass he is, attacks him without a gameplan. Even with all his abilities and the sword, his ass gets absolutely kicked and the samurai kills him and shit.
Just kidding, he manages to escape and the samurai didn't care that he escaped because a beacon started shining so he has to make his way there for nefarious reasons I have not thought of yet and basically can't be late and stuff.
Back at the HQ, Eric needs medical treatment because he's so fucked up. While he's in the hospital he has time to think of a way to kill the IMMORTAL Samurai and because he has time to think, he remembers about the red moon that happens once every year that affects everyone's abilities and curses so that they don't work. Realising this, he checks when the next Red Moon is and plans to find him on that date.
And if the information he got was correct, he would be at his base on that day, so he could strike.
That day finally comes and he's basically fully healed and stuff so he goes there. He knows that even his abilities would get affected but because he was trained for years on how to fight, he assumes he'll be fine.
When he gets there, he finds that the Samurai is a raging pussy and basically had his men fight for him. Eric, despite being super young can beat and kill them pretty easily.
One thing leads to another and he basically killed the Immortal Samurai before the Red Moon was over and stuff so what he set out to accomplish is basically done and his story is over.

#

I do plan to write a story about Hayley and stuff.
This wouldnt be the last time you would see Eric though, because he is going to make an appearance in 3 other of my stories but he won't be the central focus.
Those stories are:

  • Special Team (The one with Disconnect, the robot man dude)
  • The Abyss of Phantoms (Main storyline that ties everything together to one battle against good and evil, kind of like a battle against the great evil type thing)
  • Time Passes (A short one that looks into the future of what happened after the events of "The Abyss of Phantoms")
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The Abyss of Phantoms basically involves these > #1171400614517936139 message guys

valid zenith
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Sure thing

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And ask any questions if you have any

valid zenith
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i also have one slight lore drop from my story.

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Also implies that mine was a slight lore drop and not everything all at once

valid zenith
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Rhys, Nate, Tyler, S, Lucid Dreamer etc... (basically any main character that isn't Elaine, Evilectric, Hocus Pocus, Claire etc) live in a completely different region and that's why they haven't been affected by Unity since her influence only affects one region and she hadn't become all powerful yet

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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And also when I say different regions, they are separated by literal oceans

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Besides, Nate, S and Lucid Dreamer didn't need one

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It was only Rhys and Tyler that did

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anyway that's my slight lore drop

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i'll read yours tomorrow

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okie

valid zenith
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I'm still trying to flesh mine out, including coming up with region names. Because I plan for Elaine's region to lose their memories thanks to Unity and for Tyler/Rhys' region to ||be destroyed thanks to Cryoflame||

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oof

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Just make multiple volcanoes errupt at this point 😔 everything in your world is grim

valid zenith
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I have a hard time being positive okay

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but that's also part of the reason Rhys and Tyler live with Elaine, because their region became uninhabitable

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also Ari lives in the ocean between the two regions, with her father living on Elaine's side

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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I mean, he knew that at least he was going to die trying

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For him, its better than letting him go

valid zenith
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Eric seems very rash

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btw, i came up with new lore about 5 mins ago

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valid zenith
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Anyway

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Last night's lore drop made me wonder

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Where does Shattered Memories take place?

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So

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It takes place on Earth, but in the far future. We're talking a couple thousand years

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Don't ask what century/millenium though

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maybe million years

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anyway, during this time, the Earth has changed significantly

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Global warming happened really badly, so the North and South poles no longer exist, which means penguins and polar bears are extinct

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The Americas were completely flooded

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Europe, Africa and Asia have merged into one super region known as Europrime.

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And Australia has merged with New Zealand and has moved very far north, so that it's very close to modern day Japan

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Elaine, Evilectric, Hocus Pocus, Unity, etc... live in Australia. Rhys, Tyler, Nate, etc... live in Europrime.

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Only people from Australia gain their powers naturally.

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Pro tip: Don't tell people when something takes place if it's on earth because if one thing feels out of place for "the future", its going to feel weird

Just say its an alternate universe where this happened and call it a day

valid zenith
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It's "Earth"

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I don't want to make up a new planet name

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valid zenith
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But also Ari lives in the ocean space between modern day Northern Territory and Tokyo

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The facility that Rhys and S were held in is in modern day north Africa (roughly where Cairo is)

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valid zenith
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And Tyler is from modern day Germany

valid zenith
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valid zenith
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The regions have changed names over time, which is why I'm saying modern day

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This is just to give scale

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Wouldn't it be present day because mordern day is just whatever present day in the story is

valid zenith
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you're right

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Im always right :)

valid zenith
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Also the forest that Elaine escapes to is near present day Perth

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And Unity's headquarters are in the middle of the country

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You made it so complicated

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For my story, its just present day earth but different things happened in history for it to be affected the way it is

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What things changed in history? Idk, and I'll never need to know because I'm never going to use that information for anything

valid zenith
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Thats what someone with a complicated world would say

valid zenith
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But also

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This means Elaine is canonically an Aussie girl

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but yeah, unity's influence pretty much affects people in australia

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it starts out small, but grows slowly outwards

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so more and more people get affected

valid zenith
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@solemn crest so, she's a cyclops and a shapeshifter, but all of her forms can only have one eye as she can't generate another one

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valid zenith
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A little bit, except ditto has two eyes

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Of that one specific ditto

valid zenith
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but it keeps the face

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also

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she is one of unity's minions

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Well...now at least

valid zenith
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yeah i know

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valid zenith
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The thing is that I need her to be human in order to be under Unity's control, but she physically only has one eye (like, she doesn't wear an eyepatch, she was born with a singular eye).

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Then why not alter how it works

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Or maybe she can move her eye to the right and she wears an eye patch to give the illusion of an eye

valid zenith
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yeah, but i already have two eyepatch characters. i don't need a third

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and both of them have two functioning eyes

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Then I'm out of ideas

valid zenith
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i'll work something out

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also

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there's 3 characters who act as unity's main "enforcers", basically people under her control who are assigned with trying to recruit evilectric mainly

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the shapeshifter is one of them

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and the other two are someone who can fly and someone who has nature based powers

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the nature one is called leaf girl, but i haven't come up with a name for the other two

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Interesting 👀

valid zenith
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and they're really young, like in their teens, because unity knows evilectric won't (or hopes they won't) kill children

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which they don't

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but they hate them with a burning passion

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and they're constantly singing in angelic gospel like tones to try and "convince" them to join

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And also since they're being brainwashed, they're just repeating the same things over and over on loop

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So they're NPCs

valid zenith
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boss npcs specifically

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like, evilectric physically fights them on numerous occasions, but never with the intention to kill

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valid zenith
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have you seen bowser jr?

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What will Unity do when they stop being children? Demote them?

valid zenith
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well, she dies before that happens

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so she never considered it

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plus she didn't realise evilectric was that reslient

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she assumed they'd buckle eventually

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That's super naive of her

valid zenith
valid zenith
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valid zenith
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Not to you, I mean unity

valid zenith
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If Unity controls them, why need to brainwash them

valid zenith
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Because that's how she's controlling them

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that's how she's controlling everyone

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she brainwashes people

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So it's a complicated way of mind control

valid zenith
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wdym?

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Okay, wait
Why doesn't it work at night then

valid zenith
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because she's asleep. but by that time, the trio are asleep in bed as well. or if they're awake, they only have their memories from the previous day, since unity erases everyone's memories as soon as she wakes up. so in that short time frame where they have control over their thoughts, all they know is the cult, so they never think to question it. the only person who did was elaine, but that's because she had outsider knowledge from the animals.

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Wouldn't repeating something in someone's head make them believe it even when you stop constantly screaming it into their mind 24/7

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Are they just believing something as long as they're told it and when someone stops saying that thing, they just stop believing it for whatever reason

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If it's the traditional type of mind control, you wouldn't need to keep telling them that stuff, no?

valid zenith
# solemn crest Wouldn't repeating something in someone's head make them believe it even when yo...

Basically, the way Unity's mind control works is that anyone under her control has no control over their thoughts and actions, and only regains them while she's asleep. But they also have no memories from before the last time Unity woke up, so all they know is what Unity wants them to know. So, they basically have the same repetitive thoughts over and over. And even after Unity's death, they're still loyal to Unity, because that's all they know.

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valid zenith
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valid zenith
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Point is, Unity can't brainwash Evilectric directly. So she goes for Plan B and has her minions try and brute force it.

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Not realising that Evilectric is one of the most stubborn people on the planet and a firm believer in free will.

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Makes sense

valid zenith
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@solemn crest I'm thinking about rewriting the lore for Shattered Memories entirely.

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valid zenith
# solemn crest I've done that a lot with my stories, nothing wrong with it if it's to make the ...

The main things I'm changing are:

  • Rhys, Nate and Tyler were in the cult. However, them gaining their powers allowed them to escape.

  • Evilectric joined the cult as an independent spy to try and figure out what the hell they were up to.

  • Unity was able to create a clone of Evilectric that was the real mastermind behind the murders, which Evilectric believed they were responsible for, due to blacking out because of the Soul Demon,

valid zenith
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@solemn crest I'm thinking of making Shattered Memories into a web comic instead of a novel

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valid zenith
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Definitely
Visual communication is easier than verbal or ig written

valid zenith
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Some updated lore for my OCs:

Elaine:

  • Born November 30
  • Transgender woman
  • Lesbian
  • Has the power to communicate with animals
  • She/Her
  • She was in a cult for most of her childhood, which resulted in her losing all of her memories.
  • She wears an eyepatch over her left eye to hide her face from others and herself. If she sees her face without it, or if someone else sees it, she has a panic attack, believing they know about her past, something she wishes to bury.
  • She is in love with Claire.
  • She loves nature
  • She is introverted and soft spoken
  • She suffers from PTSD and depression, which is only made worse after Claire's death
  • She is the carer of The Misfits as she is the only able bodied member (Rhys has one arm, Tyler is blind and deaf and Ari can't walk)

Rhys:

  • Born March 23
  • Transgender man
  • Straight
  • Has the power to turn into a ghost by making contact with another ghost using his ghost arm. He can also see and hear ghosts.
  • He/him
  • An accident left him unable to use his right arm. As such, he wears it in a sling.
  • His dead arm has a ghostly apparition coming out of it which he can control and use to turn into a ghost.
  • His twin brother, Nate, is a ghost.
  • He wears a binder
  • He was put into a mental hospital by his parents to try and "cure" his transness and "schizophrenia" (he was claiming to be able to see his late brother, which he could)
  • He is right handed, which means he can no longer write properly

Nate:

  • Born March 23
  • Died May 21
  • Transgender man
  • Straight
  • He is a ghost, so his powers include invisibility, intangibility, imperceptibility, levitation, teleportation, possession and illusion
  • He/him
  • He is Rhys' twin brother, who was killed in the same accident that left Rhys permanently injured
  • He hates being a ghost and wishes he were alive so he can interact with everyone else, but as it stands, he has to rely on Rhys to be his interpreter

Tyler:

  • Born September 22
  • Cisgender man
  • Straight
  • He/him
  • His powers include super sight and super hearing, but when he uses one, the other is shut off completely
  • He has autism, ADHD and sensory issues
  • Since his powers dial his senses up to the extreme, it causes him serious migraines
  • He wears a thick black blindfold and industrial strength headphones at all times in order to hear things at a reasonable volume. He only ever takes them off if he needs to use his powers.
  • As such, he has learnt to navigate the world blind
  • His father is the fire half of Cryoflame
  • He is the only non-LGBTQ+ member of The Misfits

Ari:

  • Born June 11
  • Transgender woman
  • Aroace
  • She/her
  • Half-human/half-mermaid
  • Her mother was a mermaid and her father is a human. She was born with human anatomy, but had the ability to breathe underwater.
  • All mermaids are biologically female.
  • After she discovered she was trans, she felt more in touch with her mermaid side than her human side, and asked her parents if she could live in the ocean full time, to which they agreed.
  • She had her legs replaced with a fish tail, making her the first transgender mermaid, and allowing her to swim better.
  • She was forced out of her home by pirates who came to steal the valuable scales on the mermaids' tales.
  • She was the only survivor of the attacks, as her human anatomy allowed her to breathe on land.
  • She can't return to the ocean due to the pollution left after the attacks
  • She uses a wheelchair to get around, and she covers her tail with a weighted blanket to hide that she's a mermaid.
  • She tells people she's a paraplegic, but in reality hates being seen as disabled, since she isn't (in water at least, where she feels more comfortable)
  • She can survive in freshwater, saltwater or dry land environments.
  • She becomes friends with Elaine and the others after a brief altercation, in which she mistake Elaine for a pirate who was hunting her down.
  • She also suffers from PTSD and depression, but not as bad as Elaine
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Evilectric:

  • Real name unknown
  • Birthday unknown
  • Gender unknown (they're still figuring it out)
  • Sexuality unknown (again still figuring it out)
  • They/them
  • Their powers include electrokinesis, superspeed, electromagnetism, and immunity to brainwashing
  • They were possessed by a demon which messed up their psyche and blinded them for a while
  • They were able to use their electricity as a sort of echolocation to navigate
  • After the Soul Demon was exorcised, their eye was left permanently marked. They wear an eyepatch to hide it.
  • Their supervillain outfit includes a black hoodie, metal hockey mask (which they don't wear the eyepatch under) and a lead pipe.
  • They were invited to be a member of The Misfits, but declined as they felt they had to pay penance for their crimes.
  • Despite doing evil deeds, and being seen as evil, and having evil in their name, they are more like a vigilante than a proper supervillain. Although even they will claim to be a supervillain.
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@solemn crest more lore

valid zenith
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@solemn crest

So his name is The Human Fly and he's basically the Penguin from Batman in terms of appearance, except he can fly a small bit off the ground, and his whole gimmick is being the worst person on the planet

His crimes include:

  • Ringing the bell in front of cancer patients
  • Mixing general waste and recycling
  • Polluting the ocean (another reason why Ari can't live there)
  • Skipping queues
  • Buying every lottery ticket and then refusing to donate any of his winnings

and more

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Only one of those is an actual crime

valid zenith
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He's literally just a massive douchebag

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Make him commit mass genocide

valid zenith
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No, that's Unity's thing

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Make him commit a tiny bit of genocide

valid zenith
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He's not going to kill people

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He's a dick, not a murderer

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Makes sense

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So he would do things like clicking all the floors on an elevator

valid zenith
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yes

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and then proceed to leave

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He needs to be killed

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His crimes against humanity are far too great

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Many have tried, including Evilectric, but he somehow always comes back

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Immortality

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Have you ever tried killing a fly?

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it's very hard

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Fair

valid zenith
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also, i have a name for the main superhero team (consisting of Elaine, Rhys, Nate, Tyler and Ari)

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Also, I've left my other world on pause because it got too complicated
And I've created a new one... technically but heavily limited myself on what I can tell the story about

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They're all people who are broken either physically or mentally, but have superpowers

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and decided to stick together because the world didn't want them

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# valid zenith do tell

I've barely developed it so there isn't much

I'm calling the series "Darkness"
But the entire series will consist of 3 stories. One where Darkness has something to do with it

  • Consumed Darkness
  • Consumed by Darkness
  • Born of Darkness
    (Not the actual titles)

What Darkness is...is something I haven't figured out yet (again, not much I've written about)

The world doesn't take place on earth but an afterlife of sorts. Not everyone goes to that afterlife tho
There's still heaven and hell but in special cases, you'd go to that one instead.

I don't know what more I could say about the world so ask questions tho I will say that there's a good chance I won't have an answer for it yet.
Like I don't even have characters rn (except for the protagonist of the last story), that's how little development I've made

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@solemn crest I've decided to change the lore regarding why Elaine has an eyepatch (it now also serves a practical purpose)

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Basically, Unity puts a hidden camera into the left eye of everyone she kidnaps, which they don't know about because of Unity's brainwashing. Elaine discovers hers after breaking free from the mind control and covers her eye to prevent Unity from seeing where she is, and also for fear of being recognised. So, it's imperative to her safety that it doesn't come off, and over time, it becomes a part of her.

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Maybe Claire is the one to discover it after rescuing Elaine, and gives her an eyepatch to cover it with and keeps her refuge as they both realise Unity knows where she is and the forest is the only thing protecting her.

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# solemn crest I've barely developed it so there isn't much I'm calling the series "Darkness" ...

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Okay, so I have developed more of the story and how it would go for "consumed by darkness" so I thought I should share it.
Don't have a name for the main character yet so I'll just call her...Emmy

But before I talk about her, I should talk about the world.
So like I said, its an afterlife where you'd go there on special cases...what are the requirements for going there? None. You can go there regardless of what you did in life

This afterlife was created by higher beings to feed Darkness (still haven't figured out what I want it to be)
Darkness was a threat to their civilisation so they broke some rules and created that afterlife to feed Darkness so that it doesn't come after them...at least that was their logic

In this afterlife you won't look human but you'll be given a form.
-# this isnt lore relevant, just wanted to mention that

So the consumed by darkness storyline.
Emmy like everyone there died and went there to be eventually consumed by darkness.
-# darkness is slow so someone can live in the afterlife for hundreds of years before they even see what darkness is

But she's unhappy with her fate and wants to seek justice to destroy darkness because she believes that the higher beings created darkness as a sort of mental torture.
So she wants to go to the higher beings paradise to kindly with threats to destroy darkness.

But there's a problem with that...she's kind of weak compared to the higher beings.
Even though she is delusional, she isn't wrong to think that these "gods" can be killed because they arent all powerful as I might have implied.
-# just some quick background. The previous story to this one, "consumed darkness" is about something similar but instead of wanting to destroy darkness, the main protagonist just wanted to ascend and not only be one of the higher beings but to rule over them. So he does by you guessed it...consuming darkness before it could comsume him.

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-# he didn't think this would work and highkey just thought it would kill him. But because he's power hungry tried it anyway.
-# Not anyone could actually do it and live so he got lucky

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I feel like I'm straying too far from the plot so I think I should stop here and let you ask questions if you feel the need to

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But how this story ends is that certain events trigger the darkness to grow stronger and eventually consume the entire world including the higher beings paradise

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# solemn crest Thanks

I can draw a comparison between Emmy and Elaine in that they're just normal people wanting to destroy the being that taken control of their lives, and that everyone around them has just accepted as fact.

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Another thing

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but Elaine's eyepatch is symbolism of how she is turning a blind eye to her past

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Heavy symbolism

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So its based off a really short story I want to illustrate as my first full comic called "The Soul Eater" (name work in progress)

The Soul Eater is basically, you guessed it...a creature that eats souls.
But its not really a creature that appeard out of nowhere. It was cursed with immortality as long as it consumes Soul.
But its not as simple as comsuming Soul. It switches out it's Soul with a victims
And since the victim's body can't contain immortal Soul, it eventually dies because of it which would send back the immortal soul back to the Soul Eater.
In this world, your Soul isn't linked with your memory's until it dies with you.
So if it dies outside of you like being consumed by the Soul Eater, your immortal life ceases to exist and you just die.

The story would follow a group of friends where one of their souls are consumed by the Soul Eater and realise that the only way to get her Soul back is to kill the creature that took it. But it won't be easy as they race against time so that she doesn't die before the Soul Eater doesTwigPeek

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-# the illustration doesn't have any of the characters because I haven't designed them yet but are persona's of people in an art server I'm in

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I'm planning for it to have at most 10 chapters

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I also don't think I'll do my hero world for now because its too complicated

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So my 2 main stories rn are Darkness and Soul Eater

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i fw soul eater

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btw

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can i share an oc idea i had earlier today?

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Okie

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Im all ears

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This OC is not part of Shattered Memories. I want to start making standalone OCs

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But she's a girl with astrology based powers

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i haven't fleshed it out fully

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Depending on how you do it, it could be overpowered

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@solemn crest I've decided to change the narrative for Shattered Memories

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The story starts when the world finally ends. Not by mass extinction, but by the destruction of free will, as a woman soon to be named Unity develops her powers of hypnotism. The world was populated by various superheroes and supervillains for centuries by this point. Unity hated seeing the destruction and devastation that the villains left in their wake, so she decided that the world needed to be united under one rule: hers. She sent out powerful telepathic brainwaves across the entire globe. It took a few years for her influence to reach around the world, by which time she had grown ever more powerful. In doing so, she developed a God complex. She used her powers to make everyone worship her and effectively turned the world into a cult. The people captured by her were divided into two groups: supers and non-supers. Supers, those with superpowers, would be given new superhero identities, erasing their civilian ones, with a superhero costume. Everyone was given the same costume as to not allow any uniqueness, as she believed that’s what lead to bad things happening; everyone should be the same. She also planted a tiny camera into the left iris of every super, so that she could monitor their actions at all times. Non-supers, meanwhile, were ordinary citizens with no powers, or had yet to develop powers, in which case, they would join the ranks of supers. Unlike supers, non-supers kept their names and their lives. The only difference is that they all worshipped Unity like a god. Unbeknownst to everyone, no one had control over their actions. Unity made everyone live the same routine every day. Every super would perform the same task. Every non-super would cheer them the same way. She wanted no variety in anyone’s lives. A perfect world, to her, was one that was constant in every way. No abnormalities to screw anyone over. The world would be safe with her in charge. What Unity didn’t know was that her powers only worked while she was awake. As soon as she fell asleep at 10 pm every night, everyone regained their ability to think freely. However, this was a non-issue as Unity made everyone go to sleep at the same time as her. The only free thoughts they had were in their dreams, which ultimately didn’t matter, as when Unity woke up the next morning at 6 am, everyone’s memories reset. The day continued as is. Never changing. The world had stopped rotating.

There was one more group besides supers and non-supers: the resisted. This group consisted of those who could not be brainwashed by Unity by any means. All non-humans fall into this group. And a few supers, whose powers gave them immunity to brainwashing. One of the resisted was a young man with electrokinesis and super speed. He had the power to control the electrochemistry in his brain, preventing others from controlling it. Unity, aware of the resisted, sent certain supers out to kill them, as she didn’t want them ruining her perfect world. She ignored the animals, as she didn’t view them as a threat. She was able to wipe out all but three: the man who she would later christen “Evilectric”, a powerful wizard by the name of Hocus Pocus, and a young mermaid named Ari. She had sent pirates to kill the mermaids and poach their scales for her, but Ari was able to survive and was rescued by Hocus Pocus, who had fended off some of Unity’s minions. He brought Ari to the safety of his house, protected by a magic barrier that Unity couldn’t penetrate. Evilectric, meanwhile, was elsewhere in the world, fighting off supers, not knowing why they were after him.

To be continued….

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@solemn crest I'm also going to rework the character origins. Which one should I share first?

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# solemn crest Elaine

Not much is known about Elaine's past. Her birth name, family and when she was "recruited" by Unity remain a mystery. All we know is that she was born male and at some point in her life developed the ability to understand and communicate with all fauna. Elaine was assigned the superhero role of saving animals and trying to recruit them to Unity's side under the pseudonym "Animal Boy", but the animals were able to see through her and knew something was amiss. Knowing that only she could hear them, they told her she was in danger and that she needed to leave. But it was in vain as her memories would get reset every morning, something the animals slowly figured out. That is, until one day, Elaine was assigned with saving a cat belonging to a little girl. The girl, ecstatic, told Elaine [s]he was her favourite superhero, and gifted her a diary, with the front page having the message "To Animal Boy, your my favourite. - Elaine" and a drawing of the two of them. That night, after Unity had went to sleep, Elaine wrote her thoughts into the diary; everything she had heard from the animals that day, but couldn't comprehend what it meant. But she knew that she wouldn't remember this the next night as she had no memories from before that day, so she hid the diary somewhere she'd be able to find it the next night. The next morning, she woke up with no memory of that little girl. That night she felt something hard in her pillow and discovered a diary she had never seen before. She read its contents and found someone had written that she was in a cult, that she was in danger etc.... She remembered hearing some dogs telling her something similar earlier that day and wrote it down. This continued every night. Elaine would read and re-read the diary every night for the first time, adding more and more to it. Every time she read it, she realised she was being brainwashed, but was too scared to run away in case she got caught or worse. There was another thing she wrote into the diary: her name, or rather the name forced onto her: Animal Boy. She couldn't explain why, not in all the writing she did, but the "Boy" part felt wrong. She didn't feel like a boy. But she had no idea what that meant. One night, after reading the diary for the first time again, Elaine realised that with how much was written in there that she had been trapped for too long and that she needed to escape. So she ran. She had no idea what would happen. Would she be caught? Killed? All she knew is that she had to keep running. It was dark and cold and she had no idea where she was. She reached a forest where she ran deep inside, hoping they wouldn't find her there. As the sun began to rose, she realised she was running out of time. As she kept running, she could see the sun reflecting off a nearby lake through some cracks in the foliage. Distracted by this, her leg got caught in a thorny branch rooted into the ground. It dug into her ankle and caused her to trip. The diary fell out of her hands and just out of reach. Lying there, unable to move and exhausted, Elaine fell asleep. A few hours later she awoke, still on the forest floor. She was wet and cold and her ankle was covered in blood. But she could remember. Unity's powers couldn't reach her. Using her powers, she asked some nearby birds to find help. Within a few hours, a girl found Elaine lying on the floor, hungry and injured, almost unconscious. She cut the branch trapping Elaine and helped carry her and her diary back to her house located inside the forest.

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Ahhh
I usually split the messages if its too long then split them sequentially

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ig I should also tell you that I decided to turn the first idea I shared with you into multiple books focused on the main heroes and stories

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Instead of comics because it'll take too long + writing a book would mean I can pump them out faster and write at any time

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But I'm probably gonna make them like 30k words for the less prevelant one's and 80k upwards for the more important ones

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I'm already reworking the story to be...less nonsensical and all over the place

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Nice

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# solemn crest Ah yeah Not much changed. Only thing I noticed is that its a bit more in depth b...

The girl placed Elaine on her couch and grabbed her a bowl of soup she had been cooking. Elaine thanked her profusely and while she was eating the soup, the girl treated Elaine's wounded ankle. The thorns had dug deep into it, so Elaine was unable to walk on it for a few days. Add on top the malnourishment and hypothermia, Elaine physically couldn't move. For the next few days, she lay on the couch, her ankle bandaged and raised on a cushion and a massive blanket over her her to keep her warm. She slept most of the time as she was too tired to stay awake. The girl sat with her and asked her what happened. Elaine responded that she didn't really know. All she knew was that she was trapped in a cult and that she could speak to animals. She told the girl she had no memories at all, that she didn't even know her own name. She then realised that she didn't know the girl's name and asked it. The girl responsed "Claire". She was roughly the same age as Elaine. She had a flower in her hair, that magically seemed to be at full bloom. When Elaine asked about it, Claire explained it was a gift from her late grandmother, the protector of the forest. She gave it to Claire to put her in touch with nature but she never developed nature powers. It also was a protective charm. Over the next few days, Elaine shared her diary with Claire, telling her about her thoughts and how she managed to escape. One thing that they discussed was Elaine writing that she didn't feel like a boy. Despite looking very masculine with a forced crew cut, Claire didn't see Elaine as a boy. She, like Elaine, had very little understanding of gender norms as she was isolated from society. Elaine asked sheepishly if she could be a girl, not knowing if it was possible. Claire simply smiled and said "Yeah". After Elaine's ankle healed, they began taking strolls through the forest. Claire warned her not to exit it, something her grandmother had warned her about. Elaine told Claire everything the animals were saying, all of whom she became friends with. Their favourite spot to go was the lake where Claire first found Elaine. There was a rock there that they both sat on overlooking the lake. They shared their first kiss there; slowly falling in love with each other. However, as they sat there, looking at each other's reflections, Claire noticed a weird glare in Elaine's eye. Looking closer at it, she saw a small camera lens in the centre of her iris. Elaine started having a panic attack as she realised she was being spied on. Claire reassured her that, as long as they were together, she would protect her at all costs. But they both agreed that they felt horribly uncomfortable being spied on. So Claire decided to make Elaine a makeshift eyepatch using some bandages and gauze from her first aid kit. Elaine, looking at her new face, felt a little more comfortable knowing that Unity couldn't see out of her eye anymore, but realised she could never take it off. That night, as they lay in bed together cuddling, Elaine asked Claire if she still loved her even though she was now a cyclops. Claire told her absolutely and that she admittedly found her cute with the eyepatch. As they lay there, Elaine, the little spoon, told Claire she found a name: Elaine, after the little girl that unintentionally saved her life. That night, there was a fierce thunderstorm, a rare occurrence. Elaine finally felt happy for the first time in her life.

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More to come later.

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It changes drastically.

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Elaine began walking away from the forest. The smoke was rising high into the sky. She didn’t know where she was going. She just had to get far away. She walked for ages, slowly eating the food she had brought. When night fell, she fell asleep in a nearby bush, cold and afraid. She continued to walk for a few days. She was starting to run out of food and water when she came across a town. Relieved, she went in in search of food and shelter. But she soon realised the town was completely abandoned. Buildings were destroyed, windows broken and not a single light was on. She found a grocery store devoid of people. Desperate and broke, she took some of the food and put it into her bag. Suddenly, a figure appeared out of nowhere. “Hey. What are you doing?!” Elaine turned around to see a girl standing there. She had gashes all over her face and her right arm hung bloody and limp by her side. Elaine, panicking, tried to explain that her home had just burnt down and her wife was kidnapped by the cult and that she was starving and had nowhere to go. By this point, she was on the floor bawling her eyes out and apologising profusely. The girl looked at her and told her it was going to be okay. “My name is Rhys. A few months ago, our town was destroyed by a lightning storm. Everyone was killed except for me. When it happened, I gained the power to see and hear the dead. I also gained the ability to become a ghost myself by making contact with another ghost using my ghost arm. This allowed us to break free from the mind control we were in for years. We decided to turn this place into a literal ghost town, with me acting as the sole communicator with the living. I also realised I was male over time, same with my brother. I know I look like a woman, but it’s hard to look the way you want when you’re the sole survivor of an apocalypse and only have one functioning arm. Sorry for rambling. May I ask about you?” Elaine, flustered, began apologising for thinking Rhys was a girl. “It’s okay” he responded. “No, it isn’t. Truth is I’m actually a girl myself even though I was born a boy. My name’s Elaine. I was a super with the power to speak to animals. I escaped the cult about six years ago and was living in a forest with this woman named Claire. But it burned down a few days ago, and they kidnapped her and…” Elaine broke down into tears again. The weight of the last few days was dropping on her very fast. Rhys gave her a reassuring hug. “It’s okay. I didn’t realise you were trans too.” “Trans?” Elaine had never heard that term before. “It means your gender doesn’t match what you were born as. I’m a trans man. You’re a trans woman.” Elaine smiled. She liked the sound of that. Elaine’s stomach growled. She was starving. She looked at Rhys who gave her an approving nod. She dug into some canned food. “Sorry” Elaine retorted. She got up. “Where do you plan to go?” Rhys asked. “I don’t know. I want to figure out how to save Claire.” “There’s a library in the centre of town that might have something useful. Some of the books were destroyed after the attack, but I think some remained intact.” Elane and Rhys made their way towards the library. Some of the shelves had toppled over and books were sprawled out everywhere. There was one book however, that caught Elaine’s attention. The front cover showed a picture of a wizard. “Hocus Pocus’ Guide to Potion Making” Rhys looked over Elaine’s shoulder.

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“There’s a legend about that guy. Apparently he’s the most powerful wizard in the world. But no one knows if he’s actually real or not.” “But what if he is real? He could help me.” Elaine began flicking through the pages and found a map inside indicating where the wizard presumably lived. “I have to try.” “Okay, but I’m coming with you. It’s too dangerous for you to go alone, plus you almost died trying to come here.” After stocking up on food and finding a derelict motel to stay in for the night, Elaine and Rhys began to leave for the wizard’s palace. “Wait!” Elaine exclaimed. “Your arm!” Elaine didn’t really get a good look at it the previous day due to being overwhelmed. “I can’t move it at all. It’s completely dead.” Elaine helped wrap it in several bandages, before putting into a sling for support. Rhys’ back straightened up since he no longer had the dead weight of his arm dragging him down. “Thanks.” As they were walking away from the town, Rhys turned around. “Yes you can come too.” “Who are you talking to?” “My brother, Nate. He’s a ghost. You can’t see or hear him, can you?” Elaine shook her head. “He said it’s nice to meet you too.” Rhys was laughing. He’s a bit of a prankster. Come on let’s go. The three of them set out following the map’s directions. “I’m sorry. Did you say you have a ghost arm?”

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@solemn crest Let me know what you think of this.

I want to make it so that Elaine eventually loses her eye, either by Unity ripping it out, or her wanting to get rid of the camera implanted in it. I then want for her to get the flower that's in Claire's hair, and have it merge into her eye socket. This alters her DNA, basically turning her into Poison Ivy and giving her plant/nature based powers and a flower eyepatch which she can never remove because it's fused to her body.

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What the fuck
I thought I replied to this sobCowboy I think the message just didn't go through

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# valid zenith Elaine began walking away from the forest. The smoke was rising high into the sk...

One thing about this
If you're actually going to post this somewhere, I suggest trying to make dialogue and character interactions a bit more realistic.

People are not going to spew all their life's story to a stranger they just met.
Its like if we met for the first time and I started saying, "hey, I'm hover. I go by she/her pronouns and I'm also trans which I found out yada yada yada" it just breaks immersion that these are supposed to be real people yk? Plus you shouldn't tell a reader something straight up, you should show them yk.

Saying something as simple as Elaine mentioning something that has to do with Rhy's gender and him visibly getting upset by it would be a subtle yet a good way to do something.
I'm a bit woozy atm so what I say may not make sense but yk what I mean, right?

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@solemn crest I just came up with a big lore change.

First of all, I'm making Tyler the younger brother of Rhys and Nate, by about 5 years. Secondly, this takes place just before Unity begins her brainwashing.

Tyler was born with a unique neurological condition. He's completely deaf, but can regain it if his sight is completely obstructed. His parents, determined to figure out the cause and find a cure, went to work building a machine to fix him (his father is a miltary general and his mother a scientist, working on the same base). This led them to neglecting their twin daughters, who they failed to notice were starting to both question their genders. Around the time Tyler is 8 years old and the twins 13, they finished building the machine, which was designed to reset Tyler's brain and either cure him, or at worst, only keep one disability. As they were powering up the machine, the worst scenario happened: Unity awakened. Immediately, all 5 lost their free will. This was disastrous, as the machine needed constant supervision. This caused the machine to explode, affecting all the family negatively. Tyler, who was hooked up directly to it, experienced a surge to his brain, supercharging his senses, giving him super sight, allowing him to see great distances, through objects and see fine detail, but at the cost of being deaf and no way to adjust it manually, and super hearing, allowing him to hear thousands of miles away, but at the cost of being blind and not being able to filter out sounds manually. Given that Tyler is also autistic and has high sensory issues, these give him excruciating headaches. Nate was killed by the explosion and became a ghost. As a ghost, he is imperceivable by most creatures. He can phase through objects, levitate, possess living creatures (although this is less powerful than demonic possession) and do other things which I can't be bothered to come up with now. Rhys survived, but was left severely injured. He lost the use of his right arm completely and gained a limp. Since his arm was now dead, a ghostly apparition appeared in its place. Their parents, who were right next to the machine were hit by the blast, and merged into a singular being named Cryoflame, with the father being the fire side and the mother being the ice side. Neither could separate from the other and became a monster hellbent on destruction. Immediately, Nate went to protect Rhys, turning him into a ghost. This protected them from Unity's hypnosis. Their parents were also unaffected but escaped. Tyler, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky, and became one of Unity's super slaves. Rhys and Nate, staying in their ghost form, began roaming the land trying to find help. They eventually settled down in a small village and remained there for a number of years, where they would eventually meet Elaine. At some point, they do rescue Tyler (I'll go into detail about this later). Like Elaine, he also had a camera imbedded in his left eye, but unlike Elaine, does not wear an eyepatch, instead opting to wear a blindfold as it better suits his disability, as well as a pair of industrial strength headphones to filter out sound as much as possible. Tyler hates using his powers due to how much pain they cause him. Once Unity is defeated, unlike Elaine, he chooses not to have his eye containing the camera removed, as he's practically blind anyway, and if he did need to use his super sight, having two eyes gives him a wider field of vision. Plus Unity isn't spying on him now.

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Was also thinking about the characters in my newest series that I hopefully won't abandon so maybe I'll post their bios soon

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Something I want to do is to make this into a 3 part story. So part 1 is the Unity arc. And then as the story progresses, the characters evolve over time, in terms of design and maturity. Fot example, Elaine slowly gains nature powers from her flower eyepatch. Rhys eventually loses his arm because it's slowly killing him. Tyler gains a high tech visor/headphones that allow him to more easily control his powers etc

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Definitely interesting development that would at least show that the characters aren't just stuck in one place for all of eternity

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@solemn crest I have a few more proposed changes for the story, but I'm only going to share one of them now because I'm still trying to work out details for the others which I consider to be a big part of the plot.

||Unity's brainwashing begins much earlier, meaning that Elaine, Rhys, Nate etc... are actually born into the cult||

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Plotwise that is

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👀

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# solemn crest 👀

I only just came up with this now, so it’s a work in progress.

There’s two types of humans in the world: those with superpowers (supers) and those without (non-supers). Supers can be born with their powers, or gain them later in life. Elaine is an example of a super born with powers, whereas Rhys and Tyler gained them later in life. Ari and Nate are not supers as they are non-human (Ari being half mermaid and Nate becoming a ghost). Unity’s powers only affect full humans. And if you can break free of her mind control for at least 24 hours, you are permanently free. Basically, the reason Unity starts mind controlling everyone is because she believes supers are too dangerous and selfish and should be controlled. (Ironic given that she’s one of the most dangerous supers herself.) There’s a whole legion of superheroes and supervillains that basically becomes irrelevant. A change I’m going to make is that Unity only mind controls and takes away the concept of free will from supers. Non-supers have their minds intact. There’s no real need for her to control them since she’s only focused on supers. She does do one thing with non-supers and that’s erase their memories of the superheroes and supervillains of the past so that they don’t realise anything is suspicious. Plus, since she implants cameras in each super’s left eye anyway, she can monitor them that way. The non-supers just think this is normal. Brainwashing them is not a necessity. The only supers unaffected by her powers are those with mind blocking powers, but she can send her minions after them to kill them. The only one she can’t stop is Evilectric, whose other powers make them a genuine threat to her plans. We’ll get back to them later.

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The wizard Hocus Pocus notices Unity disrupting the peace and tries to intervene, but she’s too powerful even for him. He uses his future sight to try and find a solution and he sees one. In the world exist five powerful artifacts called the Amulets of Power: Nature, Fire, Electricity, Ice and Water. Each has a guardian that harnesses its specific power. Bring all five together with their respective guardians and Unity could be defeated (I’ll work out the details later). There was a slight problem. The guardians were all non-human, so Unity couldn’t affect them, and anyone in their region couldn’t be affected due to a magical barrier. It was that each of the guardians passed their role onto their descendants. Unfortunately, the guardian of the Nature Amulet, Lucille, was unable to have children of her own. Once she dies, there would be no one to protect the amulet and it would weaken the other amulets’ powers, as they’re all connected. (It takes a bit of time for the amulet to wear off). Lucille and Hocus Pocus needed to find someone to take her place once she died and become the protector of the forest. That person is Elaine. Her affinity for nature and her ability to communicate with wildlife made her the perfect host. The problem was that she was currently under mind control and far too young to take over right away. They needed to devise a solution to free Elaine. Unfortunately, by the time they would be able to, Lucille would be long dead. So, they came up with a plan. They would find a temporary host for the nature amulet. They wouldn’t be able to utilise its abilities, but it would mean it wouldn’t be unguarded. Lucille went down to a local orphanage and adopted a girl named Claire to act as the temporary guardian.

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Claire is about 5 years old at this point and Lucille has about 12 years left to live. Claire is two years older than Elaine. Hocus, meanwhile, set his plan into motion to free Elaine. He ensured she would receive a diary and got the animals to implant messages into her psyche. Lucille trained Claire so that she would be prepared for Elaine’s arrival as she would be dead by then. They knew about Unity’s camera system, so they made sure Claire would “notice” and give Elaine an eyepatch so that Unity couldn’t spy on them. They needed Elaine to trust Claire completely so that she would accept the Nature Amulet and become the forest’s protector. There were some things they didn’t take into account that ultimately didn’t matter for their plans. They didn’t know Elaine was trans. They knew the protector would be a girl but when a “boy” came into the forest instead, Claire got concerned. However, since Elaine had only just regained her ability to think, she truly believed she was always a girl and had no memories of ever being a boy. This fact alone helped Claire and Hocus realise this was the right person. Secondly, Hocus never accounted for them falling in love. Claire was always meant to be a temporary host, but seeing them become enamoured with each other gave him hope that the plan would succeed. In order for Elaine to be able to accept the amulet, she needed to trust Claire completely, and free her minds of all worries, including that of the cult’s. This process took a few years, every second precious as if the amulet’s power ran out, it would be for naught. The one thing that prevented Elaine from getting her mind off the cult was her eyepatch, as it was a daily reminder of her past. (She eventually learns to let go and allow the patch to become a part of her. I’ll expand more on this later.) Claire decided it was time. She kept the amulet in a flower she wore in her hair and gave it to Elaine. She also had news to share with her. Except! The amulet was gone. Evilectric had stolen it, along with the other amulets, in order to kill Unity themselves. The forest was slowly dying without them realising. In case you’re wondering how Hocus Pocus didn’t foresee this outcome; I’m still trying to figure that out too. Maybe Evilectric did something idk. Anyway, by this point in the story, Unity had noticed Elaine had escaped and was furious that someone broke free of her spell.

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She knew Elaine was in the forest because she saw it near the start. She also briefly saw Claire’s face before the camera was obscured by the patch. She knew she couldn’t touch them then and there so she decided to bide her time. Once the forest died, she attacked and brainwashed Claire, going against her decision not to brainwash non-supers in an attempt to hurt Elaine. Burning the forest to the ground and abducting Claire, she left Elaine all alone. Hocus Pocus saw this all happen and knew he had to get Elaine to his house and help her save Claire. However, his house was extremely far away. He also foresaw that she would need the help of four individuals: a one-armed boy, his ghostly twin, their younger deafblind brother and a mermaid out of water. Once they had united, he would send someone with superspeed out to retrieve them, that person being Evilectric, who he had been holding hostage for months as punishment for unleashing the Soul Demon. Evilectric was indebted to Hocus Pocus for exorcising the demon, but since their actions completely ruined his plans, Hocus kept them prisoner as to stop them causing any more recklessness. (Cue them coming up with a plan to defeat Unity.) (Skipping really far ahead now because I haven’t this part figured out.) Elaine confronts Unity. Unity rips off her eyepatch and forces her to watch Claire commit suicide in front of her. Outraged, Elaine attacks her. Unity retaliates by gouging out Elaine’s left eye, saying that she has no more use for a freak like her. Elaine blacks out, but not before seeing Evilectric kill Unity. She falls into a coma for almost a year. When she wakes up, her eye is heavily bandaged. Hocus tells her the truth about Claire. Elaine reaches into her pocket and finds the flower that Claire gifted her. She took off her bandages and put the flower over the gaping hole in her face and made it into an eyepatch, so that she would always have a part of Claire with her at all times. Before Hocus Pocus left, he told Elaine one more thing. Claire was ||pregnant||.

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(I'll come up with updated origins for Rhys, Nate, Tyler, Ari and Evilectric another time)

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something i forgot to mention, but the branch elaine trips over when she first enters the forest and injures her ankle on was placed there deliberately by claire so that she would immediately try to escape

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well not entirely

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the explosion still happens. it's just triggered by something else now and tyler doesn't get brainwashed

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Unity can't exactly know as soon as soon as someone gains powers.

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If she witnesses them using them, then she can act accordingly, but Tyler is averse to using them

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also

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tyler can see and hear nate, just not at the same time

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since he can see and hear things no one else can

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rhys is specifically hardcoded to ghosts

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That also makes sense 00_kittythink

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also, tyler is the one who initially puts rhys arm into his sling after the incident, which is just a basic first aid one. and tyler initially uses bandages wrapped around his eyes to block his supersight and noise cancelling headphones he borrowed from nate.

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so by the time they meet elaine, rhys doesn't have an arm dangling by his side

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not sure when that'll happen yet

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This is a grim story

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it really is

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Tbf, mine is too but yours is...

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You have a girl with no memories, three brothers one of whom is dead, the other lost the use of their arm and the third with a unique disability and their parents a conjoined super monster. A mermaid whose entire species was wiped out and with no way of returning home. and a demonically possessed speedster who suffers from immense guilt

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my brain is fun isn't it

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after i'm done this, i promise to write something more uplifting

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Also, lmk if you think this is a good structure

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Part 1 focuses on establishing the characters' origins and defeating Unity
Part 2 deals with the aftermath. The supers under Unity's control are struggling to find themselves and the world gets destroyed by Cryoflame.
Part 3 has Evilectric relapse as the Soul Demon re-emerges (the exorcism couldn't hold it forever)

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also characters i mentioned before but haven't really brought up since like lucid dreamer, the skeleton archer and s to name a few will appear in later parts

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also

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unity is very old

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How old are we talking

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she just uses some of her minions powers to stay youthful

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Jesus

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she has been doing this for a long time

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she was literally untouchable

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evilectric was the first major threat to her plans and they're only in their 20s

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also establishing rn that evilectric uses they/them

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also

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something i forgot to mention yesterday

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lucille is a direct desendant of hocus pocus

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the reason she doesn't have the immortality power is because she's not a full wizard

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part human

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all of the amulet protectors are descended from wizards

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Makes sense

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which canonically means hocus pocus has children

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don't ask how many

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he doesn't remember

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He's too old

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he's well over 1000

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anyway sorry for subjecting you to an extremely dark tale where most of the characters are physically and mentally disabled due to trauma

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Its fine lol

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I like listening to people rant about their stories

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thanks

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i like having somewhere to rant it to

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I'm going to do updated character bio sheets

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@solemn crest minor lore change regarding Evilectric

They're mostly the same, except for 2 things.

  1. The soul demon thingy. Hocus Pocus tries to exorcise it, but it's too powerful, so the only thing he can do is seal it inside of Evilectric. And through some magic that I've not yet figured out, the seal is locked behind one of Evilectric's eyes, so they can see again, but have to wear an eyepatch as any light exposed to that eye causes the demon to possess them again, and the process has to be restarted. it's the left eye. so it's now necessary. also since the demon is still inside them, it talks to evilectric like the green goblin does to norman. and drives them slowly insane. the seal is also unremovable, so even though the demon tries to convince them to take it off, they can't while it's still intact. but eventually it does come off.

  2. evilectric is supposed to be the antithesis of elaine; a dark reflection. and evilectric is ||elaine's older sibling||

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also, should i have them on the same eye for both, or different?

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It would be more poetic to have them on different eyes

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actually

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that gives me a cover art idea

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for the final part anyway

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it's half elaine's face/half evilectric's face, and the half we see are the ones without the eyepatches (on the outside)

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so it symbolises that they can't see eye to eye, since the eyes next to each other are covered

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does that make sense?

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I think I may be dumb

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I don't understand a thing you're saying

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something like this. Evilectric is the angry one. the half we can't see is the patched eye. so in the middle they try to look into each others eyes but can't, since they can never see eye to eye (symbolism). the inside refers to the middle of the picture

elaine_evilectric.png
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Thats what I eas imagining
"the inside" is the part that confused me sobCowboy

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but you get the idea right?

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what i'm trying to convey

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Yeah
I get it

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also i'm going to have to change the lore so that unity puts the cameras in the right eyes, but that's not a big deal

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they also have different fashion styles

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elaine prefers brighter colours whereas evilectric prefers dark colours

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elaine prefers casual clothing and evilectrc prefers practical

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elaine's powers are non-violent whereas evilectric's is

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etc

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@solemn crest I came up with something just an hour ago.

Hocus Pocus has a black cat named Ember who acts as a guardian angel to Elaine and guides her to his house once she's seperated from Claire.

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@solemn crest So this takes place after the main story

The gang is at the beach. Ari wants Elaine and Rhys to come into the water and go swimming with her. Neither of them want to go in. Rhys says he can't swim due to only having one arm. Elaine tells her she doesn't know how to swim. Ari says that she must have done some lessons as a child, to which Elaine reminds her she has no childhood memories. Ari thinks both of them are overexaggerating and that the water isn't that bad and lunges out of the water to grab them. Rhys turns into a ghost before Ari can grab him but Elaine is not so lucky. Ari drags her into the water and she begins to panic. Ari tells Elaine to hold onto her and lets her get used to the waves. Over time, Elaine calms down but isn't comfortable trying swimming due to her limited field of view.

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so yes you did

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I must have missed something way back when

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Its a cool idea for something light hearted seeing how your entire story is doom and gloom

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I had a similar idea but not a singular story but more of a few bits for my hero world.
Called "The Break Room" where main characters chat during in the breakroom about stuff.

I thought about this after I decided on the new main characters and main story line

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ooh nice

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i've been thinking about making pokémon teams for each of my characters

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Id do that if I could name a Pokémon that isn't Malamar or Pikachu in a short amount of time

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Basically, I don't know much Pokémon

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Elaine would be grass type, Evilectric electric, Rhys ghost, Tyler dark, Ari water, Hocus Pocus dragon, Unity psychic, Cryoflame fire/ice, i can't think of any other characters

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Crow would be the best character /j

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hallo

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{♥︎}→Linden Hashimoto, he was raised in japan, he lost his parents in front of him when he was only 7, and was gifted his mothers necklace, he has never and will never remove it. Linden has very dark purple ombre hair (dark purple to lilac), he has layered curtain bangs and his hair in a short, loose half up half down style, Lindens hair is to his shoulders, he has white thin circular glasses, he has light purple eyes and a scar on his eye, he has soft facial features and a button nose, and a septum piercing. he has slight fangs and visible invisalign, and a silver necklace, his mothers. its a locket, he’s wearing a baggy purple knit sweater with black flowers on the sleeves and black pants with black converse, he has his laptop, theres a pride sticker and a BLM sticker. Linden is 19 and has a sensitive and caring personality, he’s a little pessimistic and quiet.←{♥︎}

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Cool character profile

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[✰ℒ𝓎𝓈✰] Lysander Knightley, raised in England, he was born to a rather..disfunctional family, his parents had a messy divorce when he was 2, and his mom took up drinking and his dad took up the same, he was hit often when he was 5-12, its lessened as he got older but the scars stayed, his mom died while drunk driving and his father got hit by a drunk driver, which is quite ironic. Lys got diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 5, he sometimes will convulse violently or get a staring spell and go a bit limp (putting his head on a table, pausing while talking to someone), theres a few warning signs like tingles or sense of impending doom, Lys is clumsy but a bit cautious, usually letting people know if he had a seizure or feels like he will, Lys also has narcolepsy or sleep paralysis), narcolepsy was diagnosed at the age of 7, making him always tired, Lys his gender is FTM/Male and his sexuality is Omnisexual (pref/m) and has a skinny build, mostly genetics and diet, he has a birthmark on his cheek and has pale skin with blackish greyish hair with yellow highlights, his hair is shoulder length and is in a half up half down style, he has pretty amber eyes, a black hoodie with a alert necklace (silver with a little button) and black headphones (loud noises scare him) and he has a button nose, he likes cute things and horror movies and horror books. Lys likes the FNAF trilogy, the harry potter movies and books, he’s very sweet but blunt, he is a bit insecure, he’s scared of loud noises, people, and wasps and the dark, he dislikes loud people. he was holding a black messenger bag with plastic pins of his fandoms, he was holding in close, theres some meds in there, and a small bag of bandaids and med things for next to his meds, he has a few pens and pencils with his notebook and a comfort plushie[✰ℒ𝓎𝓈✰]

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@floral shard A brief summary of my OCs:

Elaine is a transgender lesbian with the power to talk to animals. She was born into a cult that prevented her from forming memories, but she was able to escape when she was 16. She met a young girl named Claire who protected her for years and who became her girlfriend until she was taken by the cult and forced to commit suicide in front of Elaine. Elaine wears an eyepatch over her right eye to cover a camera implanted into her iris. She eventually merges with a powerful artifact called the Nature Amulet, giving her control over nature.

Rhys & Nate are twin brothers, both transgender male. Their parents shunned them for being trans and gave all their love to their younger brother Tyler instead, who was born with a strange neurological condition that made him completely deaf, but he could hear if he couldn't see. Their parents, a military general and a renowned scientist respectively, focused all their efforts into curing Tyler's condition that they ignored their other children, who resorted to using DIY in order to transition. However, this was cut short as a machine Tyler was hooked up in order to scan his brain exploded, killing Nate instantly. Their parents were fused into a monster called Cryoflame, a being made of fire and ice. Rhys was critically injured, losing control of his right arm permanently and Tyler's disability was heightened, giving him super sight and super hearing, but he could only use one at a time, and has extreme headaches as a result. Rhys also gained the power to see ghosts, and his right arm, now dead, allowed him to become a ghost by making contact with one, such as his brother. Rhys became Tyler's guardian and the two, plus Nate's ghost, travelled the land in search of a new home. Rhys wears an arm sling to support his arm, and Tyler wears a blindfold and headphones to drown out the sound as best as possible as he hates using his powers.

Ari is a young transgender girl who is half-human/half-mermaid. She was born with human anatomy, but with the ability to breathe underwater. When she was 18, she had her legs surgically replaced with an artificial mermaid tail so she could live the rest of her life underwater with the rest of the mermaids. However a few years later, they were all killed by pirates working for the cult and Ari was the only survivor as her human DNA made her the only one capable of breathing air. She was rescued by her father and could never return to the ocean as it became poisoned. She uses a wheelchair to move around on land, but much prefers swimming. She is asexual and intersex, but identifies as female.

Evilectric is a super with the power to control electricity and run at superspeed. They also cannot be brainwashed, which the cult attempted to do several times to get them on their side. Frustrated, they sought the elemental artifacts as a book said they would grant a wish, but this was a lie, and they awakened an ancient demon that possessed Evilectric. The Soul Demon could be temporarily suppressed if the victim was blinded. Evilectric spent two years of their life blind trying to find the ancient wizard Hocus Pocus to try and exorcise the demon. Hocus Pocus was able to restore Evilectric's sight, but he couldn't remove the demon. He sealed it behind their left eye, which is covered with a black eyepatch, however the demon could still speak to Evilectric, driving them insane.

Unity is the leader of the cult. She has brainwashing powers and believes everyone with superpowers should be under her control.

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holy shit

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mm

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yep

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mm

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~{Блейк}~ Blake Hatlin, 18-22 years old. Blake was born into a family that abandoned him when he was 4 due to his CP diagnosis, He went to various foster homes and is from Columbia, South Carolina. He is 6’1 and 150LBs (68KG), which is average on the BMI scale. He has a taste for dark humor, Rock and Fandom-based music, He is a Atheist and his favorite trilogy for movies and books is Harry potter. He challenges authority if he finds the authority figure irritating or disrespectful and he loves dogs, he doesnt have a interest in cute things as much as he likes weird things. Blake always has enjoyed writing, he isnt a picky eater but he loves italian food and japanese food, and his love language is gifts and acts of service, usually writing stories, drawing the person, or doing a chore for them if he feels appreciated. He is Omnisexual with a preference in guys and he uses He/him. He has CP (Cerebral palsy (CP) is a group of permanent neurological disorders affecting movement, posture, and coordination, caused by brain damage during development, often before birth, leading to issues like stiff muscles (spasticity) or poor control, varying from mild to severe, with symptoms like delayed milestones, poor balance, and tremors appearing in infancy or early childhood) This makes him need a brace for his leg and use forearm crutches, his crutches are standard metal with black accents and BLM and pride stickers. Blake has midlength, wavy, wolf cut, jet black hair, tannish skin and a claw like scar on his left side of his face, he has 3 piercings in each ear (2 in his cartalige and one with a standard placement) and a grey-ish hoodie with white accents and black leggings with grey converse with white laces. His leg brace is standard metal as well with white accents. He has a costantly monotone voice and is very quiet and reserved ~{Блейк}~

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Axle is a archangel, he’s mean, tall, and has a sailor mouth. He drinks a lot and has a twink I mean skinny build. He’s gay and he has a very small waist with it being around 22 inches. He’s arrogant and chaotic. He’s wearing a black turtleneck tanktop with a gold letter A on it, its hard to tell if its due to his Archangel status or his name. It’s ironic regardless, he’s also wearing black low rise baggy jeans with gold chains, and black combat boots and he has messy brown hair with one gold eye and one grey eye. he drinks a lot and loves messing with people. he’s blunt and (mostly) honest. he has a gold star earing and a gold cartilage piercing. He has a glowing vibrant, flowing yellow jacket, a constant visual challenge to heavenly order. It’s unknown how he became a archangel with his behavior. His age is also unknown and he spends most of his time on earth rather then in heaven. He likes heavy metal and crap like that, as he finds it cool. he occasionally wears spikey bracelets and its rumored he likes My little pony. He has yet to confirm.

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(♡︎ 𝒮𝒶𝑔ℯ 𝒱ℯ𝓈𝓅ℯ𝓇 ꨄ) Sage was born in 2007 in Minnesota. he was born to a toxic family, his parents had a messy divorce and his father was a achoholic and his mother was a narcissist, when he grew up he got in a bad accident and lost his left leg below the knee, leaving him in a wheelchair. His wheelchair is black with purple and gold accents, it’s a standard wheelchair with storage at the bottom which is where his messenger bag is, it has stars on it and a white neck strap, his bag has what he needs for his camera and wheelchair, as well as standard items. He has a skinny build and pale/olive skin, he has freckles on his cheeks and he has a button nose, he has platinum blond wolf cut hair with a green streak in the front and olive green eyes, he has 3 silver stud piercings and hes wearing a baggy green knit sweater and black pants with converse. he hates being treated differently because of his disability, hes caring but sometimes forgetful. hes sitting in his wheelchair with his leg and a half crossed, hes very sweet (♡︎ 𝒮𝒶𝑔ℯ 𝒱ℯ𝓈𝓅ℯ𝓇 ꨄ)

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Aspen Verrisma, a lazy 21 year old who was born a bat alien hybrid, he was born in britain and fell “inlove” there.. but he wasnt a good guy, he carries the scars. and the constant fear. he has black thigh high socks, bandaids and scratch scars on his thighs, he has on high waist black shorts and and a black spaghetti strap tank top with Gir on it. He has one pink and black spiked choker and 5 piercings in each ear, he has brown fluffy/scruffy hair and a small black bow and a few clips. he has a pink “jock” jacket that goes to his thighs, its open and has a black cross on it and other black accents. He has tired eyes and a button nose with a pink heart on his cheek and collarbone. he has black converse with rainbow laces, Aspen is a femboy/gender nonconforming male. he has a smallish waist and is a bit curvy, he hates sports and anything related along with cardio, he likes cheetos and cartoons, he squeaks like a bat and hisses like one when upset and has small fangs and teeny bat wings and tends to sleep more then most people. he stares at you, holding a bag of chips, he’s very sweet

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@solemn crest quick detail before eep

Tyler blames himself for Nate's death. I also have the aftermath of the explosion planned, but I'll type it tomorrow because I need to eep too

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That definitely gives Tyler more depth as a character

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I am going to try and write something comphrensive soon that links everything together

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Can't wait