[8/12/2024] What JoJo characters would you assemble to steal Christmas?

[hollow tusk]

the ultimate team to destroy christmas and KILL santa

[tough kayak]

Duo

Dio

Fk

[cursive pelican]

dio

[tough kayak]

Dio

[regal crystal]

Dio and Diavolo or smt. Does the Grinch has a stand?

[maiden kestrel]

Pucci

[valid cloak]

Pucci all the way

[maiden kestrel]

Pucci is quiet enough to steal it under everyones noses

but also fast enough

[tough kayak]

Oh Harvest is a good stand for this

What was the kid's name?

[maiden kestrel]

Wait maybe Weather Report with heavy weather?

[regal crystal]

Shigechi’s

[maiden kestrel]

Shigechi

[tough kayak]

Yes Shigechi

Shigechi

[wind forum]

funny valentine could steal christmas from the whole world and give it to america by himself

[maiden kestrel]

If you use heavy weather everyone will be snails easy Christmas stealing

[tough kayak]

Or Okuyasu's elder brother

[copper vessel]

i feel like kars wouldnt steal christmas but would hunt down santa

[lilac citrus]

D an G, Fugo, and Shigechi

[lone stratus]

Dio, Diego and Kars, those are the generational haters

[dreamy helm]

Dio and funny valentine

[tough kayak]

We are stealing christmas, not doing terrorism

Anyways cya have a merry christmas

[copper vessel]

but for stealing, DIO would steal christmas

[maiden kestrel]

The only terror im commiting is on santa and his elves

[copper vessel]

i feel like hed replace whoever the most recent joestar's presents with blocks of coal

[summer geode]

the grinch is dio confirmed

[calm stirrup]

• Avdol
• Iggy
• Fugo
• Vanilla Ice
• Risotto Nero
• Foo Fighters

[zinc moss]

DIO and Mista

[river venture]

Josuke and Okuyasu

And shigechi

If all 3 team up, it is doable

[dense shoal]

DIO would kill the Grinch too

[worthy prawn]

Pucci bro

[faint heart]

Dio and D4C

And made in heaven

[turbid pilot]

Dio and made in heaven

[exotic stone]

i just realized it's shigechis time to shine

he wouldn't ruin christmas by killing Santa, but like the grinch, he can steal all the presents silently and stealthily before anyone notices

harvest is low-key one of the MOST op stands for everyday life

[thorn stone]

jesus

[soft gyro]

@thorn stone, your Stand Rank is now 2!

[thorn stone]

Jesus himself

[real sun]

Killer Queen has already touched that Glass of Milk

[fickle river]

There're barely any characters who'd even help me steal Christmas, let alone be helpful. I'd probably only pick Tooru to stop Police officers from arresting me for home invasion and robbery, everyone else would kind of be dead weight

[mild prairie]

Dio, Pucci, Shigechi, and Tooru. We're gonna be Disney evil and steal Christmas

[boreal knoll]

Okuyasu

[floral dragon]

dio, Pucci, shigechi, and weather report. Dio kills Santa and then helps steal with Pucci, shigechi can use his stand to get a bunch of stuff, and weather report makes it a blizzard/windstorm as cover so nobody sees or hears whats going on until its too late.

[soft gyro]

@floral dragon, your Stand Rank is now 6!

[real sun]

Dio couldn't kill Santa

[floral dragon]

well he could probably at least distract bro long enough for the others to steal everything

[real sun]

Shigechi is the right answer though, best for collecting small objects in large amounts

Terunosuke would be another of my choices as he could go in and collect bigger objects in his paper

I would choose Mountain Tim to get Terunosuke down the chimneys with his lasso!

And Pucci would also be there as he could use Whitesnake to put any unruly kids trying to see Santa back to sleep

Illusions and all

Pucci would help because he's Christian and he's the problematic kind. He would try and bring that False idol Santa DOWN

Okuyasu could eat all the cookies and milk :))

Leave those kids with nothin

[exotic kraken]

harvest and dio

[thorn ibex]

Kars and Dio

[quaint vortex]

dio, shigechi, narancia, okuyasu

[tropic harness]

Dio, diavolo and killer queen cuz I think Kira would take your hands as a gift

[abstract crane]

...Must the red man suffer?

Anyways, I'd say Diavolo, for obvious reasons, Cioccolata and...that's, all I got, sadly.

[smoky ermine]

I’m sorry if I’m wrong, but to all you people picking pucci, isn’t he a man super invested in god, and isn’t Christmas a religious holiday, so no way he’d do that

[exotic stone]

nah 😭

[wraith carbon]

Bohemian Rhapsody

[abstract crane]

He'd probably do it if Dio asked...maybe. >.>

[real sun]

Well Christmas is a religious holiday but Santa isn't a religious figure

[wraith carbon]

Wait

Ungalo I'm stupid

[real sun]

What would Ungalo do?

[smoky ermine]

It just said steal Christmas, not kill Santa, so if you wanted, you could go a pacifist route

[wraith carbon]

Bohemian Rhapsody apsody

[worthy prawn]

obv dio

[wraith carbon]

bruh

anyways

[low cave]

Pucci, Vanilla Ice, Shigechi, Okuyasu, Josuke 8
-Pucci uses White Snake to steal Santa's memory DISC, then he will go through the steps to get Made in Heaven.
-Vanilla Ice uses Cream to delete Santa's entire factory, getting rid of all the presents.
-Shigechi uses Harvest to to steal all the small presents from every house.
-Pucci will get Made in Heaven, attach his stand to Santa's sleigh, and fly Okuyasu and Josuke 8 to every house.
-Okuyasu will use The Hand to erase the rest of the presents
-Josuke 8 will use Soft & Wet to steal all the Christmas decorations.

[worthy prawn]

this is quite genius

[real sun]

How will they get down the Chimneys

[worthy prawn]

and you even provided reasoning

[low cave]

Thank you

[worthy prawn]

soft and wet can take the sound of the doors opening, cant he?

[low cave]

Yeah

[real sun]

True!

Personally I said Mountain Tim could get them down the chimneys

[smoky ermine]

I’m going to try and make a squad without pucci

[worthy prawn]

yeah just in case

[smoky ermine]

Plus paccifism

So no killing

[low cave]

Oh yeah I might have accidentally killed the elves with Cream

[real sun]

Pucci can incapacitate people with WhiteSnakes illusions

I'm imagining this going down in Whoville

[smoky ermine]

I am still in belief pucci would say no

[slow karma]

dio

[smoky ermine]

First step for Christmas ruining pacifism edition: Get the candidates

There are a few people who we have to take off instantly

[rustic mantle]

dio and giorno

[copper dirge]

Pucci
i would just make him skip cristmas

[smoky ermine]

We could have a weaker pillar man like Sanviento or Wamuu or Esidisii, I believe Kars is too strong and would accidentally kill, plus he probably needs to eat humans and beings the most as he wore the mask twice + being a pillar men

I’d be willing to route for wamuu over any other pillar men as he has stealth 100 + his atmospheric rift

So he could stealth and break the presents

[mossy snow]

okuyasu (removing presents), yoshikage (bombing entire buildings/structural parts), diavolo (taking out all guards/witnesses), josuke (support role for anyone who gets injured during the raid)

[smoky ermine]

So we got someone to get rid of Santa’s factory and give opening for the present removers and not kill anyone, we’re taking the seeing one btw, but now we need someone to remove all presents

The easiest answer is Okuyasu so Okuyasu gets jotted on this list, but this plan takes place a months before, someone to prevent the decorations from going out, and who better to do that than the boss of the mafia, but there are 2 players for this role

Giorno or Diavolo

[shrewd mirage]

Diavolo

[smoky ermine]

Who would we choose

Both have super useful abilities we could use

Returning things to 0 and time skip + epitaph

[real sun]

Giorno easy

[smoky ermine]

Note that we are limited to requiem

And I’m doing this no kills

[real sun]

He can turn anything into an animal to direct wherever he wants them ie: Gifts to squirrel to out of house

[smoky ermine]

We have Okuyasu to help get rid of the gifts

We only need the don of a mafia to help stop decorations from being put

[real sun]

Okuyasu destroys them, that's not theft that's property destruction

[smoky ermine]

I never said destruction isn’t allowed, I just said no kills

[real sun]

And Red Hot Chili Peppers is right there, he can go out and just steal the light off the house directly!

[smoky ermine]

Christmas trees?

Those things which I forgot the name of, people hang it on their door

[real sun]

It's all connected with electricity one way or another

[smoky ermine]

By the way, my current people are wamuu and Okuyasu

[flat scroll]

I would bring strength, even tho the monkey sucks I can just fucking make the ship crash into all the houses

[smoky ermine]

[real sun]

Anyways the prompt was stealing Christmas not getting rid of it completely. Okuyasu could have a Niche in eating the cookies left behind (Erasing them when he got full (Doubtful)) but he isn't a good pick. He's not smart, hes loud and would wake people up with the BWOOOOW of the Hand and it wouldn't be stealing

Terunosuke or Giorno teamed with Shigechi is the best option

[smoky ermine]

How would we theoretically steal Christmas, stealing an aspect is almost impossible

[soft gyro]

@smoky ermine, your Stand Rank is now 3!

[real sun]

The same way the Grinch did, taking all the decorations from one above average sized town in the night leaving them in despair and misery in the morning

[smoky ermine]

If they were destroyed, the same outcome would have happened

[real sun]

That's not stealing though

[trail blaze]

diavolo rohan and okuyasu

[smoky ermine]

Okay then, who would make a good candidate for the team to replace Okuyasu

[real sun]

Terunosuke

Enigmas user, the paper guy

[smoky ermine]

I still am keeping wamuu on my team

[real sun]

He could put entire cars into his paper which he could fit in his pocket

Easily taking Christmas trees or heavy gifts

Shigechi can work with him to get the many many small objects like ornaments, cookies, stockings, etc

[smoky ermine]

Wamuu could work as he has a few abilities that interests me

[real sun]

Not to mention it's a quiet ability

[real sun]

Invisibility is good and he could get in the house easily with his contortionist powers, what would he do when he's in though?

[smoky ermine]

Wamuu has an ability he used in the duel with Joseph, atmospheric rift and the one which cloaks hi

He could easily break in

Plus being a pillar men who probably got masked by kars makes him strong

[real sun]

Yeah what would he do when he's in

[smoky ermine]

And didn’t he have control over the wind

[real sun]

What's he gonna do to help steal things

[smoky ermine]

He could carry lots so carrying tons of presents is no big deal

[real sun]

He couldn't get them out easily though, he can only contort himself

[prisma umbra]

Akira could use rhcp to travel quickly between houses and steal presents. Whoever tf uses wheel of fortune can be the transportation. Shigechi would be useful with harvest.

Wait actually enya would be really good for this

[smoky ermine]

No one can survive a direct divine sandstorm, so what makes a wall capable

[real sun]

It doesn't, but it's also really loud destroying a wall

[dapper knoll]

Dio and Giorno?

[smoky ermine]

Is atmospheric rift that loud though

[real sun]

Divine sandstorm is

And atmospheric rift sounds like constant wind

[smoky ermine]

Yes, so it wouldn’t bother people much

The only downside is the toll it takes on wamuu

[prisma umbra]

this gave me an idea

Rohan and giorno

[real sun]

Wait by atmospheric rift do you mean the ability where he literally self destructs himself??

With his horn??

I thought you were talking about his invisibility

[smoky ermine]

It slightly damages himself

[real sun]

Atmospheric rift is his last ditch effort cause it tears him apart from the inside out

[prisma umbra]

Rohan writes "Giorno will die if christmas exists"

Christmas gets returned to 0 by ger

Boom.

[smoky ermine]

What makes us think he can’t do a lower scale version

[real sun]

Because he couldn't do so in canon? It's also a very loud ability, sounds like a windstorm

[smoky ermine]

The colosseum stone is probably way stronger than an average home’s walls

[prisma umbra]

Ermes and akira

[smoky ermine]

It’s moderate for me

[dreamy silo]

Mista and Hol Horse, with a gun

[prisma umbra]

Ermes can create a bunch of duplicate rhcps and have akira send them around stealing presents

And to go even farther. Add formaggio and coco jumbo

Little feet shrinks the presents and puts them in the key

[real sun]

I think mine was pretty good,
-Shigechi for all the small objects and small presents
-Terunosuke for any of the big ones as his ability works on cars easily so he could steal Christmas trees
-Mountain Tim could get Terunosuke in and out using his Lasso so he can properly grab and big gifts and Christmas trees
-Akira would be able to take down all the Christmas lights using Red Hot Chili Peppers
-Pucci can incapacitate people (especially unruly kids like Cindy Loo Who try to catch santa) with WhiteSnakes illusions. But in case he wouldn't do it...
-Kenny G's Tenore Sax could also create illusions, not as effective but we take what we can get.

They don't have to kill anyone and they're all efficient users of their abilities

[real sun]

Real actually!

Teamwork right there

[smoky ermine]

Any of the pillar men (Except sanviento maybe) could work for in and outs

[prisma umbra]

yall sleeping on justice

Dat shit massive

[real sun]

What would it do though

It's literally just smoke

Or technically fog

[smoky ermine]

Esidisii has fire control, lemme just watch, from what I remember, his blood is boiling

Let me rephrase

Pillarman of flame

And Kars, do we even have to say

[prisma umbra]

it can lift stuff too

[real sun]

I mean kinda? It had to fill up an entire wound to be able to lift Hol Horse and Polnareff. It controlled the corpses cause it filled them up completely

[prisma umbra]

wait why hasnt anyone said ungalo hes literally perfect for this

[real sun]

Bohemian Rhapsody is really long range, he can't control the characters himself, that's why he hid away on the plane

[prisma umbra]

he can just make the grinch real 😭

[real sun]

REAL ACTUALLY

Smartest person here

[proud dust]

wait thats so good

[real sun]

Oh but Santa is also real then

Boxing match time

[proud dust]

no santa IS real

[smoky ermine]

Kill Santa 🙂

[proud dust]

he cant make real people real

thats stupid

[proud dust]

no wait, he made van gough

nvm

[real sun]

Tbf, Van Gough is dead

So he's kindaaaa fictional now

I think what actually came to life was a manifestation of Van Goughs art

[prisma umbra]

yeah this is probably it

it was his oc

[real sun]

Can't believe Weather Report almost got killed by a Ginger

[proud dust]

nah, gingers are powerful

[prisma umbra]

i just realized

[proud dust]

Sticky Fingers
Space Trucking
Harvest
Little Feet
Enigma
D4C

[prisma umbra]

u have the fucking juri profile decoration😭😭😭😭

[potent sonnet]

John
George
Henry
me (bench)

[real sun]

Jorge Joestar

[proud dust]

yea, its beautiful

[real sun]

Ok Yuya

[proud dust]

dude, if kira was a real one he would kill for feet instead of hands

all im sayin

[proud dust]

oh wait

easy pick

Jailhouse Rock girl

myumyu i think

just make em forget

[real sun]

MiuMiu

Also real!

Better than Kenny G actually, worse option than WhiteSnake though for sure

[river ermine]

Dio or Pucci

[solar pier]

Why you picked ova dio over anime Dio?

[unique belfry]

Dio and pucci

[solar pier]

That stand looks very zesty ngl

[real sun]

All stands in JoJo look at least a little zesty

[unique belfry]

Highway go go zesty af

[wild cosmos]

Its impossible

Santa is too strong

[somber gate]

dio, vanilla ice and pucci

[brisk torrent]

I've got a plan

Kira- Sneak into people's houses, and booby trap all of the presents
Vanilla Ice- Can effortlessly break into people's homes and completely erase their entire Christmas displays
Funny Valentine- To get an infinite number of Kira's and Ice's to spread across the globe

Alternatively, just Pucci to be able to skip through Christmas altogether

Stealing Christmas is about more than just destroying presents though. If the book/movies taught us anything, we need to crush their spirits

Thus, making Kira doubly effective

Nothing ruins Christmas cheer faster than seeing your child blown up in front of your eyes just from touching that toy firetruck you bought them

Stealing Christmas is about psychopathic behaviour

[calm eagle]

id probably go with dio cuz he gives off grinch energy, idk who else

[acoustic rover]

definitely coco jumbo

also fugo with purple haze

[candid marsh]

Gayo

[crude idol]

Kars would hunt down Santa instead

[charred bison]

Dio kars diavolo funny valantian

[smoky umbra]

OVA DIO, Anime Dio, Toru, Valentine, and Kars

[barren trout]

Hear me out: Guccio with Survivor. He would absolutely destroy Christmas spirit with all the jellyfish around family gatherings, everyone would lose their shit

[celest dune]

part 1 dio, part 3 dio, and diego

[gloomy pelican]

Dio, Giorno, Shigechi and Pucci

Their stands would be perfect

Imo

[fickle vault]

Dio

[wicked scarab]

12 Puccis

Alternatively: 13 Puccis

[thorn slate]

I'm not sure but Shigechi is sure is on my list

[wicked scarab]

Shigechi at full power could solo anyone, I don't think we should count him

[midnight pawn]

Shigechi

DUDE

[honest jay]

Killer queen has already touched that giftbox

[soft gyro]

@honest jay, your Stand Rank is now 1!

[civic bronze]

The pillar men

[real sun]

I don't know what people think Dio and King Crimson are gonna do, like they do not have the capabilities to steal from every house in a town 😂

And their abilities do not synergize that well with others since they're the only ones able to move in them, not very good for a team setting to steal everything in a single night grinch style

Dio would be the better option though since he actively gives slightly more time while Diavolo gives them significantly less time

[latent folio]

Hervest?

[latent folio]

“If the book/movies taught us anything, we need to crush their spirits” what an amazing quote

[latent folio]

LMAO

[proud dust]

??????

[soft gyro]

@proud dust, your Stand Rank is now 2!

[latent folio]

Don’t you gaslight me

[proud dust]

literally what do you mean??

[latent folio]

Edited, hmmm

[proud dust]

yea, its been edited cause I added D4C

power in numbers and whatnot

[languid plume]

None because I want a Jolly Christmas🎅🎅🎅🎅🎅

[worthy prawn]

I would assemble some gloomy fellas i find in the street like the avengers so they would ruin the christmas cheer and tell kids santa isnt real

[languid plume]

But if I had to then I would choose Dio or Funny Valentine

[wicked scarab]

I think 12 Puccis would work better

[languid plume]

Oh yes please

[sweet dirge]

aight so:
Valentine - He and his clones could take a lot of presents out of the North Pole in one go.

Giorno with Requiem - Let's be real, knowing JJBA, Santa is a stand user with a busted ability. I'd need a way to counter it.

Narancia - Might be a controversial pick, but someone to scout ahead will be necessary. for all we know it's a maze in there.

Risotto - Sneaking past elf security is gonna be hard, so a guy who can turn invisible is an instant pick.

ZZ & Forever - Wheel of fortune would be the getaway vehicle on ice, but since cars do not swim, Strength will have to do for getting away from the frozen lands of the North Pole.

[sweet dirge]

thats the team to destroy christmas at the source.

i gotta think bout the team to actually kill Santa.

[inland crest]

Dio and Kira

[modern pasture]

DIO (he would fail and be humbled)

[wicked scarab]

841 Mannish Boys

[lilac prawn]

Kira

[latent folio]

Send it

[soft gyro]

@latent folio, your Stand Rank is now 12!

[sweet dirge]

ain't that easy of a thought

i won't pick random characters

[steep leaf]

Dio Brando, DIO, DIO OVER HEAVEN, NOVEL DIO

[wicked scarab]

1/100th of a Novel Kars

[sweet dirge]

you forgot Diego

[zenith dew]

DIO, Bucciarati, Funny Valentine and Shigechi tbh. Nothing we love more than destroying and stealing from children and their happy families

[latent folio]

You forgot alternate world Diego