Beyond the Shell

[fluid ridge]

you can ask for tips from others

and if you keep at it you will improve

again, if you keep it simple i thing most rainworld things are really easy in the end

all shapes and forms

iterators are if you wanna be really simple a triangle with a circle on top

no need for legs or arms if its a simple drawing

the fact that they have no mouth, nose, or any other face features for that matter makes it an even greater starging point

than you can work with refrences

maybe try to redraw one

get the feeling of it

[north herald]

One problem i see is I have to use either mouse or my phone's pen which is well, one is cluncky and the other gives no stability

And paper, do I wanna draw on paper? No clue

But I will keep that in mind, thanks

Another consideration is writing but I dunno where to start with that

[fluid ridge]

short stories i would guess

[north herald]

No i mean like i think I know what i would want but I don't know how to actuallt get to it and drive a story

[fluid ridge]

ahhhh

ehmmmm

im actually not to good with that either

i just write and hope it works

like the how time passes for an iterator story was much easier to write for me since its my prefered writing style

all descriptions for the scenes and almost no dialouge

but i think im getting into it

[north herald]

I mean yeah going with the flow seems like the way to go but I lack some actual starting point

[fluid ridge]

ohhh

hmm

yeah i just wrote until i was happy with what i had tbh

so im not sure im the biggest help regarding that

all i really do is write the chapter without thinking about it all to much

then i read it over again and edit over what i didnt like, of which there is alot

than repeat until im done

[north herald]

Ah well guess I will just have to sleep and iterate on it until it comes to me in a dream or some shit

[gleaming snow]

It's a hobby at the end of the day. It doesn't have to be good
Actually your first story probably won't, and that's normal and good! Learning requires failure

[fluid ridge]

find the solution to your great problem

[fluid ridge]

thats also important to say, true!!!

hobbys should make fun!

[gleaming snow]

If it ain't fun, why bother

On another note, I like your story amany. Looking forward to the next chapter

[fluid ridge]

hehehe
thx alot

[fluid ridge]

tho i do have to say that passion too would work for me.
sometimes you will maybe not have too much fun but if your passionate about the project that is in my book also a reason to stick with it

[north herald]

Yeah just gotta figure out where to start and how it should play out and what should happen in the process and how it would end and...

[fluid ridge]

just dont go crazy like pebbles

[gleaming snow]

Oh yeah, if you want to get good at something you kinda have to push through the unfun. Remember to take breaks, though.

[fluid ridge]

im this close to my own break
(i say fully knowing that i still have 4 chapters to complete before that)

daily update log [54]
i got a bit done but in the ended up writing more in here then on my own story
the goal is to get the chapter done due to tomorrow.
how likely i will get that done?

ehhhhhh

probably not really, but i will try nonetheless

[north herald]

Also uhh sorry for distracting?

[fluid ridge]

BAHAHHA

nonono

i keep getting myself into that

looking at the time i came on six hours before we started that little chat

during that i made 2 check points and otherwise just was in here

thats like 100% my own fault

plus i like talking with others, otherwise i wouldnt stop in here all the time

[fluid ridge]

hey!!!

where did you get that picture of me

hellppppp, im getting doxed!!!

[north herald]

Okay welp i have to go now cya was fun chatting

[fluid ridge]

have a nice day/night

[fluid ridge]

okay sry but i just have to write that
i once shortened beyond the shell to bshell...
bs hell...

What was i thinking while typing that
head empty, no thoughts

[ornate grail]

Beyshell, the distant cousin of Beyblade

@north herald This, very very much. The only difference is I started the sucking at something process when I was a snot-nosed little kid. But you can start... today!!!
Most importantly, don't judge yourself harshly; it will be hard, but we love to see beginner art

Art is honed with time. It may not seem like it's improving, but once you have a collection and look back at the first thing, seeing the progression is SUPER motivating

[woven python]

^^^^

[ornate grail]

Tracing pokemon onto wax paper was my whole childhood, you have no idea

[fluid ridge]

well at least im better at edditing now than i was before

[north herald]

"Graphic design is my passion"

[fluid ridge]

only took me 20 minutes to find out how to shrink stuff

[north herald]

what

[fluid ridge]

never used krita in my entire past live

im new to this

in the end i just googled and bumm, there was the answer

[north herald]

KRITA, WOOO

Tbh it's quite intuitive

Just use the transform tool

[fluid ridge]

yeah, ended up doing that

the rest of the time was spend on cutting out the background of the overseer

and even there i quit like 5 minutes in, lookds good enough for me

[north herald]

What if BtShell

BTS hell

[fluid ridge]

not bts again

next time i will spend more time on getting a decent name

[north herald]

Never too late to rebrand to sth like beyond the can

[fluid ridge]

ughhhh

i could

but i think its to late after the first chapter is out. people know it under bts so now i have to stick with it

lesson learnt for next time

[unborn vault]

Bitcoin.

[fluid ridge]

Beyond the coin

[unborn vault]

No, Beyond the Can would be shortened to BtC.

Bitcoin!

[next temple]

Be the Stealer (of water)

[fluid ridge]

i saw that
all these acronyms are so bad, why do i get all the meta ones

[next temple]

Told you, use one word name!

[north herald]

Hm, just "Beyond" does not sound that bad ngl

[unborn vault]

Unraveled?

I like the song “Unraveling” by The Crane Wives, so…

[fluid ridge]

Why are you all better at naming stuff, gimmi gimmi gimmi

[unborn vault]

Epochs gave me “Lunacy”.

So, well, he’s probably the place to go for that.

[fluid ridge]

rememberign that for my next few works

but im keeping the name either way, i dont want to change it 6 chapters in

[next temple]

Delete the whole thing and then repost everything with the new name

[fluid ridge]

yeah sure, let me just

[unborn vault]

I’m rebranding my work at this second revision.

[soft agate]

Just jumble it. 'Shell the Beyond'

[next temple]

Oh, kinda recall you did want to ask me about something regarding Buddhism? You can ask away btw

Keep in mind tho I tend to go on a long tangent so stop me if i do

[fluid ridge]

also i already did that ones on accident, posted the entire script when i hadnte even released the first chapter

[fluid ridge]

in general the entire religion

i wanna know more about it but google doesnt really help

[next temple]

Ah... That gonna be long you know...

[unborn vault]

I’d like to know, too, and I have time.

Unless you lack time, then…

[fluid ridge]

if you dont mind me writing in the mean time and checking in from time to time i wont mind

[next temple]

Hmm, maybe I'll try to give some main concepts, then you can ask for details on each aspects you want to know more?

[unborn vault]

Mind basically copying those messages to me?

I’d like to know more before I touch on it.

[fluid ridge]

im gonna keep writitng then, i will check in a bit later, i realyl do wanna know that stuff too!

[next temple]

Oh, actually, should i move to dm or something? Would this be clogging up your thread?

[unborn vault]

Writing. I suppose I must?

[unborn vault]

This… isn’t my thread, Epochs.

[fluid ridge]

dont worry

[next temple]

Miss the reply target

[fluid ridge]

my thread is 50% story and 50% random stuff

[unborn vault]

I think both of you did?

[fluid ridge]

yeah i did

whoopse

[unborn vault]

If I had a nickel…

[fluid ridge]

but you can write in here, no problem for me at least

[next temple]

Roger!

[unborn vault]

Much more practical, too - two want to know.

[next temple]

Let me formulate my thoughts then gonna write an assay

(Ps. I'm not some professor/teacher so please don't mind me if i can't hold a coherent sequences...)

So, Buddhism.
It is an old religion, and like anything old enough, the records inevitably got distorted over time. And because of the emerging inconsistency, different Schools were created.

But the main goal/core remains the same: Buddhism is about finding the end to sufferings

And the ultimate goal of this is Enlightenment/Nirvana

This is where most people misunderstand I think. It's not a realm or afterlife or outside of Samsara(the cycle of rebirth, will come back to this) or anything like that

Nirvana is a state where you're free from cause and suffering. "Like a fire completely snuffed out" no more suffering could be created.

That's the goal of the religion.
Then, maybe about the teachings

[unborn vault]

May I comment on something?

The “state of being free of suffering”.

That concept is legitimately so fucking cool.

Is it another word for enlightenment or something?

[next temple]

Nirvana, yes

[unborn vault]

Alright, noted.

So, you don’t break the cycle of living.

You instead achieve enlightenment.

[next temple]

(although I'm more familiar with "nibbāna" reading)

[unborn vault]

Interesting.

[next temple]

Yes! This is the key point actually

[fluid ridge]

so Nirvana is the state of being free from suffering and it is their main goal?

[next temple]

You don't necessarily have to leave your mortal coil to be enlightened

[unborn vault]

Enlightenment, essentially.

Go on.

[next temple]

Yeah. Goal is to end sufferings, so the state of permanently being free from them is the finish line basically

So, back to the teachings, or how may one rid oneself of sufferings

The Buddha's first lesson (as recorded anyway) was actually that condensed into 4 simple, Noble Truths

To understand what is suffering (Dukka), To understand what are the causes of it, to understand what is the state of being free from them, and to understand how to get there

These are kinda hard to explain fully so I'll try to summarize them

Basically, Suffering can be divided into 3 categories, physical suffering, the mental suffering, and then the dissatisfaction of the impermanence of happiness.

'The cause of suffering' is kinda long, but basically the Buddha told us that it emerges from the 5 Aggregates

(ahh, it's hard to find English words for these concepts lol)

[unborn vault]

Just use the original words if you find it difficult.

Maybe you can describe what it’s like instead.

[next temple]

Form > Feeling > Perception > Interpretation > 'Value assignment'

[next temple]

I mean I also am trying to make it understandable from the get-go

[unborn vault]

What’s ‘Value Assignment’?

Giving things value?

[fluid ridge]

my question would be, value for what?

[next temple]

Hmm, I'll try to make an example

[unborn vault]

Or being attached to things, hence those things having value to you?

[next temple]

Say, you touch a fire

Form is the physical attribute of the fire ( Hot)
Feeling is the how response from touching it(it's hot)
Perception is how the feeling gets registered by 'You' (it's burning, and burning is bad)
Interpretation is how you then register the fire ( fire causes this burning, it's bad)
Value assignment ( i dont know the word for this) is how you will remember the fire (fire should be avoid)

Hmm, it's been a long time so not sure if that's 100% accurate but that's the essence of it i think

These are 5 Aggregates. By themselves they're not the direct cause of suffering

But, attachment and clinging to them are the causes.

Together with the 5 Aggregates, there is also 3 Nature of everything.

1. All conditioned things are Impermanent
2. All conditioned things can't be unchanging
3. All conditioned things are Anatta ( literal meaning is Emptiness, but it's complicated)

1 and 2 actually can be easily understood: we all know nothing is forever, everything ends. And we know everything changes all the time, even you yourself changes every single instance of time. You before reading this was a different you to you now.

The Anatta one can be explained because it's the conclusion from the first 2, but hard to actually grasp

[unborn vault]

May I try?

[next temple]

Because how everything is impermanent and constantly changing

[next temple]

Go ahead

[unborn vault]

Because everything is impermanent and always changing, it is not worth fixating on?

It’s not worth too much thought.

[next temple]

Kinda, but this is about the 'nature' of things

The concept is that, because of those 2, everything doesn't have a true 'self/itself'

[unborn vault]

Because everything ends and constantly changes until it does, we should not assign meaning to them?

I am not who I was 10 years ago, and I am not who I will be 10 years from now.

[next temple]

Yeah, because there's actually nothing to assign meaning to

[unborn vault]

Something like that?

[unborn vault]

Existential, in a way, but I’m liking this so far.

I am not.

I think that’s my conclusion. Nothing is.

Also, go on.

[next temple]

Well, I did talk about these at length with one of my friends, and he put it very nicely: "Buddhism is more of a philosophy than a religion"

[unborn vault]

I see.

Raven.

[gleaming snow]

Hi!

[next temple]

Helo, please don't mind the ramblings

[gleaming snow]

Buddhism is interesting, since it is non-theistic it may not classify as a religion, more as a set of philosophies and traditions

[next temple]

Anyway, here's the part where it's kinda relevant to RW i guess

The 5 Aggregates can cause the Kilesa, mental defilement that leads to 'unwholesome' actions

[unborn vault]

“Unwholesome” is a funny word, but I think I get at what you’re trying to say here.

[next temple]

There actually are a lot of categories for this, but there are one such group: the 5 Hindrances

[next temple]

Unwanted, undesirable, bad, all these work i guess

[unborn vault]

“Bad” does the job.

[next temple]

Well, another topic entirely, but Buddhism actually doesn't use 'good' or 'bad'

[next temple]

Or 'sin' actually

[unborn vault]

Interesting, what does it use, then?

[next temple]

Anyway, these are

• ill will
• sensual desire
• restless/worry
• sloth/torpor
• doubt

[next temple]

Hm, actions that result in improvement and ones that do not.

[next temple]

Not exactly conveyed the right meaning, darn language barrier

Well, no 'sin' but ones need to always be aware of such action's consequences

[unborn vault]

Is this karma?

Action and reaction?

[next temple]

'Karma' literal meaning is 'action' so....

[unborn vault]

I see.

[next temple]

But it's something like that yea

Anyway, the Five Hindrance, these are the most 'down to earth' obstruction to enlightenment. Overcoming these is the only first step. But it's the most relevant to us 'ordinary people'

(if you recall, @unborn vault , those Fetters we talked about before are the other/further parts)

moving on, the state of being free from suffering

This is... Hard to describe

The most simple explanation is it is 'To let go' i guess...

[unborn vault]

I don’t think one can describe it accurately before getting there.

[next temple]

So I'll skip to the last one
How to end suffering

[next temple]

This is not the same thing as Nibbana though. This is just what to aim for. Nirvana is the ultimate destination inside that

[next temple]

This is the longest part of Buddhism concepts actually, so again I'll try to say about the most prominent concepts

Actually, the Buddha himself once condensed this into one teaching
The Middle Way, or The Eightfold Path

To walk this way to the end leads to Enlightenment

This is the source of Buddhism's symbol, actually

The Wheel with 8 spokes

☸

Let me think how to translate these...

[north herald]

Gee I wonder where ⨂ could have come from...

[next temple]

The 8 paths

• Right Knowledge
• Right Thought
• Right Attention
• Right Intention
• Right 'Attempt' ( not sure how to translate this , it's 'to always try to do the correct thing, from having followed the previous paths)
• Right Action
• Right Communication
• Right Way of life

[next temple]

I had spent a lot of time debating a lot of symbolisms in RW with a friend

While the 8 fold paths are the condensed version, the details of all these are still too much.

So let's go to the most basic 'guideline', one that laymen should at least follow

The Five Precepts

[fluid ridge]

shouldn't it be 57 /j

(also ignore that, i just couldn't help myself)

[next temple]

I think you all will find these very familiar

• Refrains from kill/harm
• Refrains from taking possessions that are not yours
• Refrains from sensual indulgence
• Refrains from intentional miscommunication
• refrains from intoxicants that cloud the mind

[next temple]

Well, not all of them, but still

[fluid ridge]

the first three are rather obvious

also does the last one forbid stuff like drug usage if i understand that right?

[next temple]

Yeah

To cloud the mind is to open yourself to the first 4

And go against Right Attention

[fluid ridge]

ahhh okay, so you also cloud the mind if you go agaisnt the first four and/or do sth that isnt 'right'

[next temple]

I think since the Precepts are the most 'down to earth' and very easily comprehended, they are highly possible the main influence on that aspect of RW

[next temple]

Oh i mean, clouding your mind means you possibly gonna do the first 4 since your self control is gone

[unborn vault]

I can see Buddhism being contorted into whatever Rain World has through the generations.

[next temple]

RW '5 Karma' seems to take 3 of the Precepts then add in that Karma 3, and use the Anatta as karma 5

So from my perspective, karma 3 is a bit confusing

Like, why?
I guess it represents overreliance or over selfdistant? With the Middle Way as baseline I mean

[gleaming snow]

Keep in mind, rain world is not Buddhist. James Primate, composer and videocult dev, edited some downpour dialogue to point it away from Buddhism

[unborn vault]

Violence and sensual indulgence stay relatively the same.

[next temple]

Anyway, this concluded my presentation on Buddhism, any questions or needs for elaboration?

[unborn vault]

Stealing and drug use is greed or gluttony.

[fluid ridge]

nth i need elaborated but i have a question regarding the different gods

[unborn vault]

What?

[next temple]

Thinking about the parallels/messages RW tries to say is interesting enough!

[fluid ridge]

cause i wanted to name drop soem in a later chapter for comparrisment so i just googled god of so and so and then just used their name

[unborn vault]

Don’t buddhists not worship anyone or anything in particular?

[fluid ridge]

but im not sure it makes too much sense ig?

[fluid ridge]

exactly, thats why i want to ask cause im not sure

[next temple]

Like, if I'm to be honest, the Ancients were representing both of the extreme paths, not the Middle Way, so theirs was not directly inspired by Buddhism

[fluid ridge]

i really just googled; Buddhism god of art/vilonece/death/etc

and then put in the names

i also already wrote that section

[next temple]

Ah

You see

This is where those Schools come into picture

[fluid ridge]

its not one to one the actual bhudism stuff but i do use the names

[next temple]

What I explained were the core concepts

But different schools have their own nuances and 'intepretations' ....

[unborn vault]

I think it makes sense that no Slugcat ever needed to stop violence for bypassing Karma 1.

[next temple]

But I gotta go take a shower first, so drop some questions and I'll come back to them I guess

[fluid ridge]

example

Those who had learned from the Old Gods referred to him as 'Jambhala' and 'Sarasvati'. Though he did not tolerate titles associated with other divine figures, he enjoyed the prestige of being placed on the same level as a God.

does that make sense?

if i remember correctly Jambhala was the god of wealth and Sarsasvati was the goddess of art(music)

and the character that is being refereed to as such is wealthy and likes art (tho more the drawing kind)

does that work?

another example

In the end, God sent a punishment. 'Yama'. 'Begtse.' 'Mahakala.' A devil disguised as a living being.

ehmmm

that one im not so sure about

i think i might change it somewhat?

its supposed to just be names of gods that represent stuff like death and war and that sort of stuff

[unborn vault]

Or any of the actions.

It just shows that they’re no longer “attached” to it, in a sense.

But it doesn’t make perfect sense, either.

Both Monk and Surv are evidently looking for family.

Gameplay element, perhaps?

If it is, the best part about this is that it confirms one of my favorite theories - that Artificer had the ‘smoothest’ ascension.

She’s lost everything.

She has nobody left to love. Nothing to hoard. No soul to keep her company. And judging by her suicidal mission, no more will to live.

So, losing the last tie, violence, actually meant that she successfully cut all ties.

Cutting that also removed the last purpose she had in life.

She no longer has attachment.

In the scene, she held on to her children… and let go.

In a weird way, she’s achieved ‘enlightenment’.

This is all very interesting.

Buddhism being closer to a philosophy than a religion.

What it says.

Because I resonate with some of it.

Also, if I remember correctly, there’s the concept of a bodhisattva.

Someone who refrains from achieving Nirvana to help others get there.

Do you think this is paralleled with Saint?

[next temple]

Ok, so I think this topic really needs to be explained

A moment, i think i need to switch from mobile keyboard to an actual laptop keyboard for this

[unborn vault]

Shit’s serious now.

[next temple]

so, disclaimer: I am 'a follower' of the Theravada School and a specific subschool, so my view isn't a representation of all Buddhism, and my view could probably be subjected to certain biases, but I'll try to be as neutral as possible

first thing first, Buddhism doesn't have any named god(s)

[next temple]

these names are gods from Hinduism

you see, when Buddhism splitted into many schools, some of them adopted some concepts from other religions, I wont talk about the potential reasons here.

Nowdays, three major schools remain

Mahayana (Great Vessel) is the largest one. this school mainly consists of East Asia (China, Japan, Korea, and more)

Theravada (Teaching of the Elders) is the only major non-Mahayana school left. mainly consists of SEA nations

lastly, Vajrayana, consist of the nations in the Tibetan region

Mahayana is the most well known and most represented in media. And the main nuance here: this school accepts the existence of gods

[next temple]

so, these are probably from Hinduism beliefs retained in Mahayana

the gods do exist, but they still are subjected to sufferings and Samsara (The Cycle basically... more on that later)

[next temple]

same as this, Mahayana also believes that there are those who are destined to become enlightened and instead of leaving the Samsara on their own, they will choose to teach others

'Future Buddha' essentially

[next temple]

so, the names you see/find will possibly be from Hinduism or have Hinduism influence, and since Chinese culture is the prominent influence too, the bodhissattva are mostly originated from theirs

[fluid ridge]

ohhhh

whoopse

[next temple]

well, most Mahayana followers would still recognize them anyway, so you could use the reference I think? not sure about the appropriateness tho

[fluid ridge]

and thats why i like to check stuff with people who know stuff instead of just using google

[fluid ridge]

tbh, all i really want to avoid is ending up offending someone

[next temple]

as someone from a different school, I can only be sure about what I know though

[fluid ridge]

those were supposed to be little nods that not everyone sees the iterators as their gods ig?

[next temple]

like, to me, this would not bother me at all

[fluid ridge]

like its just an old believe set that some of these characters follow

[next temple]

and actually, if the Mahayana followers who see the reference really do hold Buddhism above the adjacent beliefs, they should also not be offended.

like, regardless of schools, Buddha did clearly say that even if gods do exist, since they are subjected to the same universal rules, one should not cling to them anyway.

[fluid ridge]

than i think i will leave it for now

[next temple]

well, tell me if you want to know more

(I actually wanna talk about the cycle/reincarnation/Samsara thing for a bit, but I understand if this is already too much )

[fluid ridge]

it was also never really supposed to be bhudism, just refrence it, so if i end up refrencing sth else i think i will live

[fluid ridge]

same as before, i will still write on the side but would love to check in from time to time

this thread is yours, write whatever you want

[next temple]

yeah, allusions are there, but never a straight reference i think

its still very interesting to me to draw parallels and find messages from them tho. like, the aspects of Ascension vs just Live, as also expanded on in DP

[next temple]

nooo i dont mean to hijack your thread

[fluid ridge]

but i want you too!!!

i would love to learn more

and if others are interested they can read it too

plus again, this thread is more of a personal motivator for me and i really dont care if anyone begins to write the most random stuff in here

[next temple]

well, if you dont mind, maybe a little on what I found/thought about the Cycle and the parallel

again, the cycle of rebirth/Samsara as a concept is widely different between schools (since it's not a core concept, Buddha actually once said one should not dwells on this(among other things) too much, since knowing such doesn't lead to the goal (end of sufferings))

Most, like, MAJORITY of Buddhists interpret the 'Rebirth' literally.

You was born into this world
You grow old
You got sick/afflictions of age
You die

but then you will be born again at some time, somewhere, eventually. You're stuck in this Cycle (Samsara) until you reach enlightenment, then when you die, you won't come back again

[fluid ridge]

but you dont remember your last live? or do you?

[next temple]

that's one of the differences between schools

Mahayana interpret Samsara literally. and also believe one could tap into the past lives' memories if one reaches higher understandings enough.

[fluid ridge]

and enlightenment is reached by freeing oneself of suffering, did i get that right?

[next temple]

Theravada, on the other hand, has some differing subschools takes on this

[next temple]

yeah, it's a state that apparently free you from 'being born' part of the Samsara too.

its connected to how enlightenment stops more sufferings from being created, it also stops the samsara for you

[next temple]

some believe Samsara as the rebirth cycle, but also hold that each life is truly independent from another. nothing is retained, nothing is left between lives

and then there's quite a minority subschool... who interpret Samsara metaphorically

that this 'rebirth' is not actually literally

it's the propagation of consequences of actions one makes throughout their life

and no matter big or small, the consequences will lead to the 'birth' of something else, and inevitably create sufferings.

this is rebirth of sufferings. very similar to the other subschool, there's nothing retained between lives, because there's no true transition

you see, this concept of reincarnation is even highly debated among fellow Buddhists. so any interpretation is not 'wrong' per se.

so, how is this relate to the Cycle?

[fluid ridge]

tbh, im getting similar vibes from when moon talks about the different iterator groups and what not

death is the solution, etc etc

[next temple]

well, apart from the similar parallel of the Cycle being the unending source of suffering until one reaches Ascension, there's also a nuance with the Ancients and the other creatures

[next temple]

kinda, I recalled one of the echoes in Saint campaign straight up use the 'propagations of waves' phrasing...

[fluid ridge]

oh, which one?

[next temple]

see, the reincarnation thing (from the mainstream interpretation anyway), when you reborn, you dont necessarily do it as the same creature you were

from a human, depending on what karmic weight you have, you could reborn in a different realm

[next temple]

iirc, Six grains?

oh, nope

its Droplets upon Five Large Droplets

Another presence attempts to commune with mine.

Have I perceived your voice before? I have existed long enough to overhear them all.

Those who have been, and those who have yet to be.

Each serving as a wave propagating throughout the annals of history.

Listened as I have for many eons, 'tis true, some of those swells cannot help but mirror back.

[next temple]

I'll skip the details, the important note here is that, among the realms, being born as human is needed to step onto the way to enlightenment
the higher realms (gods, higher spirits, etc) are too detached from sufferings to realize the need until they die.
the lower realms (animals, monsters(...you dont need to know), hell) are in such struggle that they dont know to be free of suffering is possible.

a non-literal interpretation of this is simple: those who are too indulged in happiness wont understand the need to do Right, those who are struggle in everyday life are too concerned with living to do Right. The middle ground is needed to let everyone understand this and walk on the path to end sufferings

can you see the parallel with the Ancients and everyone else now?

[fluid ridge]

as in both sides of the extreme with no middle ground, or sth else?

[next temple]

disclaimer: this is my interpretation

they once reached the middle ground, realize the need for ascension, and that other creatures should be ascended too

then, in their strive to ascension and helping other creatures, they built iterators, but in the process, become too 'indulged' and cant comprehend the 'lower realms' anymore

so their method of ascending other creatures become forceful, they either forgot or didn't realize that to let other creatures reach ascension, they need to make them stop struggle with everyday life and see the need to ascension, not just use some forceful way on them.

I think what iterators should do is to make the world a better place first, so that leads to less conflict, then maybe some day the emerged civilization can reach ascension on their own terms

[fluid ridge]

they as in the monks that tried to lose all connections to the earthy ties?

[next temple]

the Ancients as a whole

[fluid ridge]

thats such an interesting interpretation

tbh, now i want to know your oppinion on cycle lore

if you dont mind

[next temple]

as RW as it is, the struggle and sufferings are too prevalent. you cant expect a lizard or even the scavengers as a whole to realize the important of 5 Karma, since just to live each cycle is hard enough

[next temple]

hm...

this is less to do with Buddhism now, but I think the reincarnation theory works best. your attachments lead to what you'll reincarnate as and also when. and if your attachment is still strong enough, you reincarnate as yourself

for example, the scavs Arti killed would 'reincarnate' later as themselves and only a few cycle later

arti's children didn't have much attachments, so they probably could reincarnate as something else and at a way later time

(accidentally hit enter there )

[north herald]

Hard to do that with the rain ngl

[fluid ridge]

yeah i like that a lot

[next temple]

true, true, but maybe they could come up with better shelter? rain redirect system?

the cities on their back also are more or less functional too

[fluid ridge]

similar to my own ideas, but since i dont have it completly thought over myself i dont think that counts

[next temple]

there are only so many ways to interpret how it works, my idea proabably isnt that original too

[fluid ridge]

i still like it, gives a reason as to why artis kids didnt get cycled but doesnt use parallel universe stuff

tbh, i just rly dont liek the parallel universe stuff in general
makes writing much harder

[next temple]

~~this will be used as the source of more angst ~~

[fluid ridge]

angst is always good

[next temple]

anyway, thanks for listening to my ramblings lol. hope you or anyone reading get something from this

[fluid ridge]

i definitly got sth

more knoledge

its rly interesting tbh

if you wanna ramble some more some other day feel free to just put it in here

[next temple]

lol sure, I will ask first tho

[fluid ridge]

and now i will go back to writing, tho i dont think i will finish today

at least im making hugeeee progress

[next temple]

~~I think I put more words into this more than my in-progress ~~

[next temple]

good luck!

[fluid ridge]

thx

[fluid ridge]

also, yeah i feel that. i usually write more in here than on my own chapters

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [55]
ughhhh, i know i said i wanted to finish the chapter today but that thing is getting big again
however i did make huge progress jumping all the way to 45/57 check points in one day.

also i just checked, at the moment the chapter is roughly 7k words long, if i had to guess i will write around 1-1,5k words for the last few parts and then im done

next goal would be Thursday, but again no promises

[tranquil yoke]

dats a chunky chapter you got cookin

[fluid ridge]

i still have to edit the entire thing as well

and even worse, i came up with another mini arc that can happen over the span of the entire story and for it to work i hava to add some stuff to previous chapters again

writing is hard

[tranquil yoke]

yeah it is

[fluid ridge]

and now its time for the week of work with no day off

im so done with work

but i like money so what can you do

[tranquil yoke]

turn to a life of crime to sustain your fanfiction

[fluid ridge]

im showing that to my lawyer when i ever get caught, telling them im innocent and that you forced me

[tranquil yoke]

it was worth it

[north herald]

Gee I think that would mandate a reread, oh the horrors

[fluid ridge]

one might be needed sooner or later, true.
but maybe after im doen with chapter 11? than i had the time to complete the first 'arc' that ends with chapter 10, have at max two months to edit a lot of stuff and then with chapter 11 i should finally have the full picture of the story

[unborn vault]

…I assure you, this would not hold up very well.

[fluid ridge]

then i will just convince them with calloutpost fanart

or blackmail them

(also for legal purposes, i did no mean that )

[next temple]

Your messages are now recorded and kept to be used in court

[fluid ridge]

a darn it

[fluid ridge]

grammerly mistake counter is going nuts for this chapter

daily update log [56]
Chapter done! now if only a03 wouldnt shut down in like one minute

ah wait yeah

its down now, great timing

but yeah, chapter is done. i will still have to do a lot of editign, but after a03 is back on and im out of work in like 11 hours i will try to get the chapter out by then

also just becasue i checked, final word count is roughly 9,7k words

only like 2k words longer then the last

but i think the next chapter will be the first one where the word count will be smaller then the previous chapter. i need to break that pattern fast unless i want to work on that story for years to come

[north herald]

[north herald]

Hm yes the amount of words per chapter should go up in a linear way

[fluid ridge]

you wanna read already?

i could quickly set it up on google docs

though i guess it still hastn left teh editign phase entirely

[north herald]

Up to you tbh

[fluid ridge]

tbh, i still would want to edit a few things, mainly the ending, but if you don't mind reading it in that state i would like some early feedback

[north herald]

Uhh I dunno if i'm good at feedback

[fluid ridge]

not feedback perhaps, just soem early opinions on the chapter ig

but you dont have to ofc

again, its still in soem sort of unfinished state so i wouldnt blame you

[north herald]

I mean it is still up to you if you wanna share the unfinished version

[fluid ridge]

hmmmm

okay nah, i think i will clean it up first

before i have another licking instead of liking incident

[unborn vault]

I can imagine that going really bad.

[fluid ridge]

im free of work

now even more work, still have to edit that chapter after all

[north herald]

Back to the grind

[fluid ridge]

ughhhhh

done

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55855210/chapters/145105900

so much editing and i might even now still overwork it but its ready to be read

tbh, i cant really complain since i spent like half of my editing time writign a poem for a completly unrelated rain world fic instead

[gleaming snow]

New BTS hell chapter!

[fluid ridge]

gosh that is still so funny to me

[north herald]

It's late now aaaa

Tomorrow

[fluid ridge]

same hereeeee

but i got a sick day tomorrow so i can afford stayign up

which means more poem time

tho finding words that make sense to rhyme is hardddd

only got two verses at the moment. maybe i can keep it like that?

not sure, i will see

[north herald]

Well, good luck, i'm leaving, cya

[north herald]

My opinion but if I were you i'd either write "overseer eye" separately or write just "eye"

(Continued)

[fluid ridge]

so much all at once

[next temple]

Piotr is in serious mode now

[fluid ridge]

tbh i just dont do that so i can count eye and overseereye as seperate words so i dont use all the same words over and over again

[north herald]

... moving on

I'd say either "was evident it began to panic" or "was evidently beggining to panic"

[north herald]

It just feels kinda weird i guess?

[fluid ridge]

the word does look kinda ugly

i will think it over

[north herald]

Don't think the "and" is needed here, can be thrown out

[north herald]

Ye

Is "inside" needed? Enter his structure already kinda implies inside, doesn't it?

Comma after now I think?

I'd move "first" to before "went"

"He was also" sounds better imo

"Which was now" maybe? Typo in hadn't

Typo in conduit?

Here typo in hadn't

Protocol?

Don't think the comma is needed here

Comma after chamber maybe?

Creators?

Here "creators" and "structure"? (Did grammarly have a stroke? /j)

No comma after "maybe" I think

Here typo in "hadn't"

"Tiles glowing similarly to" maybe?

[fluid ridge]

apperently

[north herald]

Typo in field

[fluid ridge]

got creators changed to creatures way to often as well

[north herald]

Comma after "left"?

[north herald]

What

Confirmation

[fluid ridge]

i had to change creature so often back to creator

[north herald]

"Became louder" and "just too high"

||Overseer is back yippie ||

[north herald]

Grammarly rolls "worst spellcheck ever", asked to leave browser extensions

[fluid ridge]

then got begged to come back because it still keeps saving my ass

[fluid ridge]

||not the cheap one of character death ||

[north herald]

||he was just eepy :)||

[fluid ridge]

i also just keep misspelling louder, i should finally get that in my head at some point

seems like we're done so thanks a lot like always

[north herald]

Yup

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [57]
i began writing the detailed script for chapter 7
its not doen yet and if i stay with my plans it will be on the shorter side but we will see

[north herald]

Wait wasn't this c7

[fluid ridge]

ehhhhh

whoops

im dumb

chapter 8 not 7

thats just what happens when you play the same game for almost 8 hours

[fluid ridge]

no context

[fluid ridge]

now its even better

okay, no more, im going back to writing

[north herald]

lmao that crop tho

[next temple]

Now caught up, ||little one is ok!||

I wonder if ||this Iterator mentioned in the notes is Moon?||

Also, not sure if Piotr caught this yet but, depths instead of debts?

Already said this in ao3 comment but ||Now Pebbles has a personal gripe toward the scavs as a certain avenger enters the scene, how more severe the 'divine retribution' would be now ||

[fluid ridge]

also i lied before, i drew more crap

[north herald]

Yeah missed that whoops

[fluid ridge]

but this will be the last thing or i could just straight up post the script

[next temple]

LMAOOO

[fluid ridge]

just proves to us that your not secretly the most powerful out of all the proof readers

okay but now im continuing writing for real. i keep stalling again and i want the next chapter out before i get my drawign pad in liek minimum 4 days

[next temple]

~~Dont worry, you're not the only one who's finding excuses to not write more ~~

Writing in 1st person feels very uncomfortable to me....

[fluid ridge]

first persn is hard, yeah

i prefer the way i wrote in How time passes for an Iterator, more the describing the plot and little character moments

which chapter 8 will mostly be which is why i thing i might get it done in maximum a week

[fluid ridge]

now that i think about it, i really really really have to overwork that one at some point, i dont even wanna know how many mistakes it still has

[next temple]

Oh, I haven't read that one yet. What's the summary?

[fluid ridge]

ehhhhh

its more of a recap of the story for in both pebbs and moons perspective

how they preceive time and thats stuff

some hadcannons here and there

was my first actual story and i like how it turned out for that

[next temple]

will eventually take a peek then

[fluid ridge]

well dont let me stop you

daily update log [58]
script is done with 56 check points, of which one (being the opening UI section) is done

[north herald]

Oh god not that again

[fluid ridge]

lmao you dont have to do that one, its like 17k words and i dont wanna put you through that one

[north herald]

Actually i did go through it, the one for moon

Took... a while

[fluid ridge]

exactly

you dont have to do it again

[north herald]

Deja vu

[fluid ridge]

a cycle

[north herald]

Like rain world, life humbles you fast

[north herald]

A repeating pattern, even

[fluid ridge]

one oversight doesnt end the world

[fluid ridge]

like sleep like death you wake up again

[north herald]

Wait oh god I don't think the pebbs one was checked

Though I mean I guess grammarly could help?

[fluid ridge]

that was the one with the licking/liking incedent

[fluid ridge]

thats the plan

[north herald]

Yeah I don't recall that one

[north herald]

I mean if it accounts to just opening its file and using grammarly then it does not sound that bad

[fluid ridge]

yep

im just lazy

but i will probably do it tonight

[north herald]

I wonder how many errors will it point out

Assuming it recovered from its stroke, that is

[fluid ridge]

ughghhghhg

i checked

132

help

fuck my original plans im doing that right now

and that doesnt account for the words that i didnt capitilize

like ik that they dont have to be but i capitalized then in the moon pov so its pretty inconsistent

[soft agate]

hehehe. Sounds like pain

[fluid ridge]

it is

but still easier then writing a chapter so i guess its somewhat of a break

[soft agate]

the picture I drew yesterday does summarize your pain up quite well :P
Suspended by the red error lines
Gotta cut them

[fluid ridge]

the mirrowed one?

he

yeah ig it does

[soft agate]

yep

[north herald]

The pebbs one is shorter tho isn't it?

[soft agate]

Anyway. Back to my crux. Exam tomorrow evening

[north herald]

Good luck

[fluid ridge]

yep, and i already changed way to much in the first 4 sentenses

[fluid ridge]

good luck

[soft agate]

second round. Just hope I won't have to endure a knowledge blackout this time

[fluid ridge]

pebbles chapter is edited and now only 113 words longer

[unborn vault]

Shell the Beyond.

Beyond Shell the.

Shell Beyond the.

The Shell Beyond.

The Beyond Shell.

[fluid ridge]

wow, such a beutifuly poem

[fluid ridge]

The BS, you have your way with words

[unborn vault]

I do not remember writing that.

[fluid ridge]

were you drunk again

[unborn vault]

I don't drink.

[fluid ridge]

i guess then we will never know

[unborn vault]

I genuinely don't drink alcoholic beverages.

And I don't use drugs.

So, well, I have no idea.

[fluid ridge]

very mature

maybe you will remember

it was kinda funny with no context so im not complaining

[unborn vault]

What does this mean?

[fluid ridge]

i think its admirable when you dont do drugs and alcohol etc

[unborn vault]

Maybe I just haven't?

[fluid ridge]

no problem in little doses tho

[unborn vault]

I don't know, I know pretty bad with addiction.

So, well, I don't do things people get addicted to.

Better safe than sorry.

[fluid ridge]

same here, im scared i would easily get addicted so none of that for me

also it costs alot of money

even worse when you get addicted then

[unborn vault]

As the Asians would say, "drug too expensive, don't waste your money".

No shade to those who do, but I don't think it's the best idea.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go back to drooling at FL.

And its absurd price.

[fluid ridge]

i thinkits fine in controled doses, if you hurt others under consumption however it gets problematic

[fluid ridge]

you are excused

[next temple]

an american physicist (and who is my idol) once said "I love to think. I didn't want to chance ruining the machine.[by trying drugs to see how is altered state of mind]"

[next temple]

||the ironically dark thing is that in my country there is a saying "drugs are cheaper than food" i dont know how true that is or is it just a dark joke, but yikes... ||

[unborn vault]

Oh. Oh no.

Also, either of you up to review my thing?

[fluid ridge]

that should just not be the case anywhere, it kinda sucks what the world is becoming

[fluid ridge]

can do that when im done writing for today

[next temple]

Is it published or in the doc?

[unborn vault]

Document.

[fluid ridge]

pretty sure its a doc

[unborn vault]

It's a separate thing from the AO3, but consider it an official spinoff.

[next temple]

Got it, lemme swallow this lunch first

[unborn vault]

Don't rush it.

[next temple]

It is delicious so i can't help it

Mmm, rice topped with sunny-side up fried eggs seasoned with minced pork and sausages, with ketchup and soy sauce

[fluid ridge]

and all i get is conflakes since its only time for breakfast and im not cooking at the early morning hours

[next temple]

That wont do. You better think of a good meal for lunch now

[fluid ridge]

during lunch and whatever the other day time food name is im at work so only a sandwich for me

[unborn vault]

Also, it's not in the usual document, it's here - https://docs.google.com/document/d/10AgQrLce5sTV3HGoEKvtSqQ8HYftbYzAzgKVMKjcQ7I/edit?usp=sharing - and sorry for the derail, I'll delete this later.

[north herald]

Y'know, shell as a verb also has a meaning of bombard something with shells

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [59]
10/56 checkpoints are done, slow progresses but hey.
also the chapter end pov switch might be one of the longest so far? not sure. its till now the only thign im writing because writign the main plot is hard

[unborn vault]

English children may be kind, but German children are Kinder.

[fluid ridge]

wowwww

[gleaming snow]

Latest chapter consumed

[fluid ridge]

got another bookmark, just one problem. idk what it says

[unborn vault]

Translate, perhaps/

[fluid ridge]

got it

ehhhh

ahh ok

very simple, just a description

but im not complaining, bookmark is bookmark

[next temple]

Seems like the little overseer charmed another soul

[unborn vault]

The "YouTube thumbnail" thing was very funny, I'll give it that.

[next temple]

Now you only have to inject the calloutpost subliminal message somewhere

[fluid ridge]

well UI get her moment next chapter but lets not get that far ahead yet

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [60]
13/56 checkpoints are done, and with it, the end pov for chapter 8 and the opening logs are finished.
now for the actual main story part

[fluid ridge]

also pls someone stop me from drawing dumb shit when i should be writing

[unborn vault]

Fuck off, Pebbles.

[fluid ridge]

im gonna use that whenever someones not going to bed from now on

[next temple]

pebbles cares about your health? this must be an imposter!

[fluid ridge]

in context he doesnt even care about any of us here || its only for the overseer||

at least that was the idea for the picture but now i can use it in a lot more situations aka whenever soemone is refusing to go to bed

[unborn vault]

He’s really just annoyed by your presence, and uses it as an excuse to tell you to go away.

[fluid ridge]

he hates us all

[fluid ridge]

before i leave i will just update that from 13/56 to 20/56

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [61]
mostly just edited already written parts, not more

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [62]
42/56 check points are done, and sadly im not finishing this chapter today
i could have done so no problem, heck, even yet i still have more than enough time to finish it, but writing the entire day drains you at some point and i have reached that point three hours ago so i will stop forcing myself for today.
chapter should be done in two days maximum tho, if not, ehhhh, i guess i will say that calloutpost sucks or sth like that

[north herald]

What did calloutpost do

Also nice

[fluid ridge]

nth but if i have sth like that at stake i have no choise but to upload the chapter on Tuesday and no day later

[north herald]

So it's self-motivation?

[fluid ridge]

yep, either finish the chapter or slander the good name of calloutpost

and i refuse to do the second one, sooooo

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [63]
46/56 check point done, and with it only one more intertwined part to write

[north herald]

[next temple]

The ⏱️ is ticking

[fluid ridge]

i still have the entire day tomorrow, that should work

[next temple]

You don't want to slander your own cult ideal, right?

[fluid ridge]

i would never!!!

[fluid ridge]

omg noooo

im actually cryong

"this chapter will be shorter" my ass

wtf

10k words????

how did i fuck that up so badly

i thought that would be like 5k max

eh whatever, now im stuck with the 'bigger word count for each new chapter' thing a bit longer ig

may the editing phase begin

[north herald]

EXPONENTIAL GROWTH

[fluid ridge]

if that pattern doestn stop at max with chapter 11 i will just keep going

[next temple]

Inb4 the next fic will be posted with every chapters already done

[soft agate]

And here I thought I write much. One chapter of you == nearly complete First Whisper

[fluid ridge]

but First Whisper is a short story so that doesn't count

[soft agate]

But first whisper took me quite a few days, so that does count

[fluid ridge]

well that chapter took me quite a few days as well soooooo

im also having a sick day today, so i have a lot more time than usual to write

[soft agate]

I have exams to prep and a cast-bound mother to take care of.
So you get more time to sprint ahead.

[fluid ridge]

hehehe

[soft agate]

And I still have to find free time to read the latest chapter >.>

[fluid ridge]

dont stress it and focus on your exams!!!

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [64]
bumm! chapter done
https://archiveofourown.org/works/55855210/chapters/145614442
i wont slander the good name of calloutpost ever!!!!

[gleaming snow]

The calloutpost chapter!!!

[fluid ridge]

well

i wouldt call it that...

but at least it actually has UI in it

[gleaming snow]

||Nooooo, why are they all ignoring them ||

[fluid ridge]

||because drama ||

[north herald]

Yippie, I will check it out once i have some time, kinda difficult with that currently

[north herald]

||Observation: so far 5 UI broadcasts
Conclusion: whole chapter is UI || /j

(My pace might be all over the place cause I might be busy every now and again)

[fluid ridge]

i wish

[gleaming snow]

Found some mistakes while reading:

||The only thing that seemed to change, was that the Scavengers started to travel in larger and larger packs the longer, the Overseer spent outside. Coincidence? Maybe, but still, something to keep an eye out for.
Wrong use of comma here

He would have almost been proud to finally get it done if he usually hadn't been able to decipher the contents faster than any Leviathan would be able to close its mouth; were he only connected to his Structure.
The usage of semicolon here feels weird. I'd use regular comma or rewrite it into two separate sentences instead

With the Cycles passing, they stayed inside his Can for a while, after the Overseer had spotted more and more Scavengers, that had started to seemingly flee inside his City.
Wrong use of comma, I think

this one just brut forced itself
I think it's brute here?

Try to help the best kill some
Minor spelling mistake, beast probably

The Cmaber blinked bright red again
Chamber, minor spelling mistake||

[fluid ridge]

all done thx for the help

[gleaming snow]

Probably more I didn't find, I just noted down some I noticed

Lovely chapter

[fluid ridge]

any help is nice tbh, so im not complaining, tho im not sure how i missed the last two

[fluid ridge]

happy to hear

[gleaming snow]

I've missed worse

[north herald]

@fluid ridge i think grammarly had a stroke again lmao

[fluid ridge]

oh no

do i have to be scared

[north herald]

Uh not too much but I did pick up a few things so far

[fluid ridge]

why is my grammarly so bad at its job, like come on, you have one job, or is my grammar just so bad that not even it can help

[north herald]

Every grammarly is personalized

The little gremlin in your PC just isn't too good

[north herald]

What do you mean you eat those, arti???

Oh dear my internet is acting slow right now

[fluid ridge]

slurps em up like spaghetti

[north herald]

get strangled by its 20 identical friends

[fluid ridge]

not me having a good paced run, only to lose it after misssing a scav and hitting a noodle instead, not realizing my mistake and jumping right into it

[north herald]

"We are going to beat you to death"

Okay there is uh...

A bit of things to send

Hopefully my internet does not implode

[fluid ridge]

mine just did

[north herald]

Though the fact it takes a few seconds to send a normal message is already worrying

[fluid ridge]

im having that right now as well

or i had that a few minutes ago at least

[north herald]

Uh idk this seems kinda odd? Does the mean to the cans of everybody in the local group or to sig's cans (???)

[fluid ridge]

all the local group cans

[north herald]

Ah

A bit of repetition. Maybe split it by ending a sentence at "set" and then "Now the moon was about to..."

O h f u c k this is gonna take ages to all send

I wonder if it will be faster if I turn wifi off

[fluid ridge]

oh god, is it that bad

[north herald]

I'd throw out all the commas except the one after "private"

[north herald]

Slow internet + "more than average" things to comment on

It's struggling to load the emotes what the fuck

Don't use hotel wifi on late hours, kids

[fluid ridge]

oh noooo, were loosing piotr everybody!!!!

[tranquil yoke]

Nah, spectrum internet is burning up and going down rn actually

[north herald]

Typo in hadn't (this is gonna be a common trend )

[tranquil yoke]

No one in my neighborhood on them has had internet for the three hours

[fluid ridge]

oh yeah, for soem reason grammarly just doestn fix that for me

[north herald]

Nah i'm not on spectrum (THE INTERNET THE INTERNET), i'm either on hotel wifi or on one dash of phone internet

[fluid ridge]

also i will fix that all later all at once!

[north herald]

Throw out the comma after "look" and the "and" (I think there is only one)

Repetition. "I don't want to spend all my time waiting for you when I could put it to use (allocate) it somewhere else?

Idk if there is a better way to do it but the repetition is a bit annoying

Isn't it "did I make myself clear"? Not sure

Comma before "of course"? Maybe?

Typo in conduit

[north herald]

Okay just checked, 66 screenshots in total

[fluid ridge]

and i have to do them all at once

[north herald]

No comma after "thing" I believe?

This seems fine but maybe "after just some trial and error"? Up to you

Don't think you need a comma after "it"? Maybe a comma after "so" I think?

Were disastrous

Not sure about the comma here? God I hate commas

[fluid ridge]

commas in the enlish laguage suck so much

[north herald]

Not sure about the first one here too

[north herald]

I wing commas everywhere

[fluid ridge]

same

[north herald]

No comma after "fact" here for sure

(((Maybe)))

Here again typo in conduit

I'd put a comma here. Not sure if after "but" or after "fair", but i'd put one somewhere

God now my internet is going nuclear

[north herald]

I think after "but"?

Typo in "anti"

[tranquil yoke]

Yeah all of your comma suggests (both cutting and adding) have been correct so far.

[north herald]

Lack of space before the first dash. Is the sentence after the first dash meant to start with a capitalized letter? Does it count as a new sentence? (Please correct me now before i decide to point it out 2 more times elsewhere)

[north herald]

Splendid now let's not talk about what I might have missed

Moon's

Typo in "neural" (deja vu )

[tranquil yoke]

The lack of space or the addition of the space before the dash is a matter of taste, but it should be consistently one style throughout the work.

And it should not be capitalized, it’s not a new sentence.

[north herald]

I'd move "just" to before "as well" but that's mostly preference

[north herald]

Yeah it's with a space everywhere else

[north herald]

Okay time to point it out 2 more times elsewhere

Typo in hadn't

Typo in pebbles

[fluid ridge]

are pictures supposed to load right now?

cause i only see text

[north herald]

Here another one with capitalization after a dash. Maybe also "he left with"?

[north herald]

Uhh there should be pictures above and below your message

[fluid ridge]

oh god

they all just loaded in at once

is that my or your internet?

[tranquil yoke]

I’m getting the pics with messages

[north herald]

I think throw out both commas (not the one after maybe i did not notice it) and add one after "packs"?

[north herald]

Mine's sluggish but it sends it eventually

And it shouldn't send a message with an attachment until the attachment sends as well

[fluid ridge]

oh it did for a short while, at first i was like, ahhh okay, in regards to the last picture ig, but then there were four messages with no picture attatched and that was when i relized sth was a bit off

[north herald]

Here, does pebbles say like "unlike what I usually would do, I think it may be better..." or "I believe I am right when I say that it may be better"? Cause if it's the latter it should be "I for one"

[tranquil yoke]

Nix the comma after “packs” I’d say. Though that’s a preference rather than a hard ruling.

[north herald]

Whoopsie

[north herald]

Yeah I dunno I trust you

Typo in hadn't

I think you can dump the comma after "while"? This one had me puzzled

Here again shouldn't be capitalized after a dash

Typo in pebbles

[fluid ridge]

i have a funny relationship with capitalizing words

[north herald]

I'd add a comma after "now"

Again, hadn't

[north herald]

Dw you're not the only one

[tranquil yoke]

This one is tricky. I agree with no comma after while. I would also say cut the comma after ‘scavengers’, but then it becomes a bit of a run-on sentence. Might need to broken into two separate sentences.

[north herald]

Turns out? Also not sure about the comma after it

[north herald]

I mean you can remove the part after "scavs" and the sentence still makes some sense so I went by thag but idk

Creators'

Ill be back shortly

[tranquil yoke]

“It turned out that (…)”

[north herald]

Ye

No comma after "suprise", typo in hadn't, the "them" is not needed

"Stay at a safe distance"? "Keep a safe distance"?

Comma after "them" not needed

"Just brute". Not sure why this image is so big, I think I had second thoughts . "Burnt off in multiple spots"? I dunno

"Some even in slow and painful ways when..." maybe?

[tranquil yoke]

Messenger is misspelled in this excerpt

[north herald]

I'd honestly make it a new sentence after "gates". No comma after "drone" I think?

[tranquil yoke]

“(…) some slowly and painfully (…)”
So you don’t have ‘even’ back to back in the same sentence, I’d say.

[north herald]

OH that's what was my issue, right

[north herald]

Did not notice the repetition, yeah, this one is better

Typo in "beast"

I'd swap it around and split it to be "...again. One of his perservation chambers, to be specific"

Typo in "chamber"

No comma after "was" I believe

Not sure about the comma here but I have too many doubts to say to remove it

[tranquil yoke]

Remove it

[north herald]

No comma after "took" I think

Loud metal gates

Comma after "exploring" I think? Another capitalization after dash

Trash-dumbed??? No clue

[tranquil yoke]

Trash-dumped

[north herald]

Hadn't

Capitalization after dash. I'd put a comma after "way"

Hadn't

[fluid ridge]

the bad kind of deja vu

[north herald]

"Not a threat"

I was about to send something but I realized it was not marked for correction but just me questioning arti eating the garbage worms

Capitalization after dash.

Thing's

[fluid ridge]

also, how did i even mess that up???

[fluid ridge]

i think they are supposed to be metalic even, so im not sure if they would even taste, but arti ate rot in that one fic, so that will work for me

[tranquil yoke]

[north herald]

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity? (Capitalization after dash)

Comma after protest?

[tranquil yoke]

I’m glad my work is influential

[north herald]

Sounds like some nickname. Like the name "pebbles" was taken so he had to get creative

[tranquil yoke]

Probably skip the comma after protest. It wouldn’t be wrong but it’s not needed.

That sentence does have “kept showing” said twice back-to-back, though, and that should be changed.

[north herald]

I'd remove all commas except the one after "area" and maybe "fact"?

[north herald]

How did I not notice that lmao

[tranquil yoke]

I say not to use “comma though comma” and then immediately use it myself

[north herald]

"And kept pointing her towards the locations..."?

[north herald]

Oh my god

[tranquil yoke]

Cut all the commas aside from the one after area and remove the second ‘that’.

[north herald]

Thing's

No comma after "her" and "insisted" i believe?

Above the clouds?

Ignore upper part, that was before the "no comma though comma" thing

"Was it leading her to the entrance, then?" Maybe?

No comma after "noticed"

[tranquil yoke]

‘Whose’ is correct here

[north herald]

Would a comma after "room" be needed or is that okay currently as well? Cause i could just delete that to clear up

[tranquil yoke]

Yeah just delete it that sentence is pretty much fine

[north herald]

Thinking about maybe splitting it after "hallway" but not sure

[north herald]

Aye

||Pissed arti vs pebbles is gonna be interesting||

"Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby"

Also ||overseer is getting slightly bullied lmao||

[tranquil yoke]

Split it but add a down and remove a that after far:
“(…) hallway. So far down, she (…)”

[tranquil yoke]

||Deserved ||

[fluid ridge]

someday...

[north herald]

This is becoming a pattern

[fluid ridge]

i seem to have a lot of patterns...
*glances at hadnt, load, neural, conduite, and terrible comma placement *

[north herald]

eeeeeeh you will get there at one point

also if you wanna have something like *this* you can add a \ to the start of the section that should not be formatted

Wait no i fucked this up
Okay fixed

[fluid ridge]

kadsljlöaksjflöaskdjf

doen

my brain is melting but im done

god my comma placement sucked this chapter

might have been my worsed one yet

Thx a ton for the help you too!
Im always shocked at how many mistakes my chapters still have after i proofread myself, not even sure how i was able to miss like half of those

[north herald]

If only grammarly could do commas

[fluid ridge]

and hadnt's

[north herald]

Yeah there was an, uh, few

[fluid ridge]

and conduites

i was just placing commas left and right

okay but i really have to sleep now, i have and early shift tomorrow and its almost midnight

again, thx a lot. im not sure what i would do without you

[north herald]

Aye, goodnight

[fluid ridge]

@fluid ridge

night!!!

[fluid ridge]

i just realized i never posted that one script page i really wanted to

that one was so fucking stupid, i wrote so much before it regarding my plans with arti, how pebbs and her would interact, etc, and than just randomly remembered that i forgot to give her the mark and had to scrap all the prior stuff

[north herald]

Huh they feel kinda... "real-time"?

[fluid ridge]

it is

i wanted to post it earlier, but that would have been obviously a huge spoiler and i only remembered now to put it in here

i only remembered, cause im going through my notes right now so i can write the detailed script for chapter 9 and 10, just have to catch up on my own lore first

[fluid ridge]

daily update log [65]
script writing for the next two chapters has begun

also...

i reall need to stop drawing stupid shit for chapters that arent even out yet

[north herald]

||Pebbles got lured into a van with "free water" on it||

||why is he getting kidnapped ||

[fluid ridge]

who knows

[north herald]

🫵

[fluid ridge]

||arti was so mad after the end of last chapter she now hates pebbs and the os more than scavs, so she teamed up with them to kidnap pebbs or sth||

[fluid ridge]

well yeahh...

but im not telling

at least not more than i already did, i really need to stop spoiling my owns stuff

[fluid ridge]

trying to find a route through metropolis, and its the first time im looking at the names. Wow, you can do so much with that

also, is girderwalk just another name for skybridge? can i use that word to describe it as such, or does that not make that much sense?

[tranquil yoke]

girder is a piece of metal that kind of looks like that bridge in particular

[gleaming snow]

a large iron or steel beam or compound structure used for building bridges and the framework of large buildings.
Girder definition

[tranquil yoke]

skybridge would work fine

[fluid ridge]

got it

never heard that word before

[gleaming snow]

You may also use other names for those rooms

Room names aren't canon after all, you can interpret them as something else if you want to

[fluid ridge]

eheheheh
i can make up so much random lore with those-

[fluid ridge]

tbh, i never thought about the structure of the metropolis too much, but if you want your characters to go through there i cant just say the walk throught the city a thousand times

i need me some diversity!

[gleaming snow]

Keep in mind we only explore a tiny bit of the city

So you can make some stuff up

[fluid ridge]

and trying to describe that route sounds really terrible

liek how would you go through that if your nor arti

[fluid ridge]

oh i already made up some extra parts

im excited to write them

[gleaming snow]

You can definitely do it with squidcada or grapple worm, I'm just you can without too.

[fluid ridge]

im thinking more about a writing perspective now

im already ignoring a lot if issues when it comes to how pebbs would walk aroudn everywhere, like the most obvious so far being the jump up to his roof. i just dont call it out and hope it can be ignored

his can is fine, just use anti grav

but his city?

huuuuu boy

[tranquil yoke]

climbing, digging his little fingies into harsh rusted metal and decaying bricks, finding old cables and making a grappling hook

[fluid ridge]

thats what i will be doing

[fluid ridge]

but not with that route

they will have to take another

[fluid ridge]

and that one just seems more fun anyway

all the random lore i can make up when they walk through there

[tranquil yoke]

[gleaming snow]

Webbles learning movement

[north herald]

Pebbles doing crawl turn fast fall

[tranquil yoke]

he breaks apart like a lego person when he hits the ground

[fluid ridge]

hes a bad gamer tbh, throws spears like saint and is slower than gourm with a jump hight of liek 5 pixels

[gleaming snow]

Hey, gourm is pretty fast actually. Horizontally...

[fluid ridge]

oh im talking vertical movement speed

i saw that hunter long leg% run and its so funny how gourm just is really fast at the beginning, but than he reaches the pole and its just sooooo slow

[gleaming snow]

Yeah, you can't do fast pole climbs as them since they tire them out incredibly quickly. You either gotta chain wall pounces, do a crawl turn wall climb or crawl turn fly 😆

[fluid ridge]

ughhh, i cant even fast pole climb with a normal scug

tho im practising it and its beginning to somewhat work

[gleaming snow]

Well done. The finger destroying tech

[fluid ridge]

i just keep forgeting to press jump on the switch early enough and than just fall down

[gleaming snow]

They are way harder on controller by the way, but it's doable. Haborp0, a really skilled speedrunner, uses controller

[fluid ridge]

speedrunning with controller sounds like hell, respect for that

oh, one last question

[north herald]

Honestly from the perspective of me, somebody who is very mid at movement and struggles to remember any more advanced movements, fast climb is not thag bad tbh

[fluid ridge]

in that room. is there a way to consistently do an explosion jump and make contact with the head upwards to the wall so you dont slide down too fast? i just keep landing with my head upside down

[fluid ridge]

its fine, i just have to practice more, like a lot more

[north herald]

I can do it like 75% of the time, it's not that bad tbh

[fluid ridge]

im still stuck on 25%

oh

im a survivour, neat

[north herald]

But I just can't remember most tech names or what it does (maybe if I put some time into it, idk)

[fluid ridge]

same here

[north herald]

For me it still shows you as a monk lmao

Oh nvm

[fluid ridge]

the only two things i even try to learn are the long slide with the throuwing sth behind you thing and the fast pole climb

i will take it slow

[north herald]

Discord can't make up its mind

[gleaming snow]

Yes, mostly a timing thing

[fluid ridge]

pffff

[fluid ridge]

oh no, my second worst enemy, timing

[gleaming snow]

Anyways, take it slow at first then increase the tempo as you get more comfortable. Even a slow fpc is faster than regular pole climb

And remember, it doesn't really matter how good someone else is or if they think the tech is easy. As long as you're making progress, you're doing very well

[fluid ridge]

no worries, that wont happen, i will aim for my sub 30 and than look into a few other runs while trying to work on my movement in the meantime. im really just doing it as a fun side thing, not really competitive

[gleaming snow]

Speedrunning is fun, I should start doing it again. I want to beat surv OE record

[fluid ridge]

someone has goals i see

im still debating if i should do the coward way of running the gourm pebbles % just for me to get a free world record

it sounds kinda fun just becuase, but it woudl also be kinda cheap