What would your half-wish be?

[foggy tendon]

To hell with getting three wishes, you don't even deserve one! This particularly petty genie will grant you half of your wish, and it's the bad half. Think you can bypass it by just wishing for two of something? You'll just get the same half twice.

<@&685609844308443203>

[deep glacier]

i wish for two billion dollars

[viscid zephyr]

you just get the "dollar" part

so 1

[pearl sleet]

i wish for followers

[deep glacier]

thats still a win

[deep glacier]

we will follow you to your house with weapons, gangstalk if you will

[pearl sleet]

!

[viscid zephyr]

now you have stalkers!!

yippe

[deep glacier]

kaant imma be real i get a dollar out of this, its a win

[foggy tendon]

Half of "two billion dollars" if you remove 1.5 of the words is "lion dollars"
Do with that what you will

[pearl sleet]

no like on tiktok

😭

[viscid zephyr]

ok then

billion dollars

in fake money

[deep glacier]

lets goo lion dollars

[deep glacier]

❌

[viscid zephyr]

no buzzer buddy

[viscid zephyr]

no

[deep glacier]

its a half-wish

[earnest raptor]

thats awesome

[icy junco]

An big rice bowl

[viscid zephyr]

you get that.
in a bowling ball.
to your head.

[deep glacier]

you get a big rice, so big in fact that it crushes you and you die.

[deep glacier]

L you, first

[hard cliff]

9 televisions

[viscid zephyr]

you actually gave the rice, someone can sell that

L you

[deep glacier]

you get 9

[hard cliff]

If you only take half you get vision then I get actually good vision and don’t need glasses

Hooray

[viscid zephyr]

https://tenor.com/view/number9-gif-21371660

[icy junco]

I see this as an absolute win

[woeful pulsar]

for me and whoever I hate the most to get 1 billion euros (I'm still getting my billion)

[viscid zephyr]

the person you hate gets the euros

good luck!

oh wait a min

i see what you did there

[icy junco]

Only the guy u hate gets the money

[viscid zephyr]

he hates himself

[icy junco]

And you instantly love yourself*

[twilit pagoda]

A happy day

[icy junco]

A sad day

[viscid zephyr]

someone particular i cant say gets the money

[woeful pulsar]

one day left to live.

it might be happy tho

[viscid zephyr]

actually the wish

pretty cool

[icy junco]

I see @wispy laurel suffer

[bronze kernel]

I wish for the entire human population to not turn into dust right now

[icy junco]

Everything that isnt human does

[dire cliff]

can i wish for a spouse to get it downgraded to a so

[icy junco]

And i mean everything

[viscid zephyr]

the human population turns dust

the skeleton type, already dead ones

[icy junco]

Planets, animals, matter and antimatter

[viscid zephyr]

pouse?
as in pause?

cool, you paused your life forever

[dire cliff]

jokes aside, i wish for a drumset

[icy junco]

You get an abusive and manipulative one

[icy junco]

Tone deafness

[viscid zephyr]

okay, you get "set" the "sunset"

not like watching it, it directly in your house

you burn lol

[dire cliff]

ya'll really trying too hard to make the half a miserable thing

[icy junco]

It is the bad half afterall

[viscid zephyr]

its the thing, sorry (not sorry)

[lament prism]

Eye wish 4 sound

[gentle saddle]

i wish to be 200% omnipotent

[viscid zephyr]

4

[foggy tendon]

Guys I meant that like "I wish for two cars"
"Ok you get the front half of a car twice"

[dire cliff]

okay, say i wish for a drumset. the drumset is comprised of cymbal snare kick etc, means i only get half of those, not an entire thing that is not part of the wish

[viscid zephyr]

our thing is better

shush

[dire cliff]

well, have fun i suppose

[deep glacier]

unlucky

[viscid zephyr]

you get that
but i remove under half of your body

idk why but for fun

[foggy tendon]

That's not

No

[deep glacier]

damn.

[viscid zephyr]

damn

[foggy tendon]

That's not at all what the half part means

[dire cliff]

let them have it, if it makes them feel better

[viscid zephyr]

i mean, he gets the thing but he cant play the thing so half/half

[foggy tendon]

You're just adding an extra catch involving the concept of halves

But whatever sure

[dire cliff]

genie wish discussions always get into semantics anyway

[woeful pulsar]

I wish to-

[foggy tendon]

True

[woeful pulsar]

there

its half my wish

[viscid zephyr]

kool

[deep glacier]

damn non so good he made the catch himself 🙏

[rancid coyote]

Half a million pounds of gold

[deep glacier]

you gain half a million pounds, not the currency, but weight

[rancid coyote]

A weight of what?

[deep glacier]

your weight

[viscid zephyr]

just let the man have it

on top of him tho

lol

[deep glacier]

no cuz someone can take that

you said that yourself about big rice

[viscid zephyr]

yeah

true

[woeful pulsar]

I'm quite the catch, they say.

[rancid coyote]

Half a million and I get half of that so it'd be a quarter of a million

[deep glacier]

no, cuz its the bad half

so you get half a million pounds but not of gold

of weight

[rancid coyote]

Shit I read the daily wrong

[viscid zephyr]

i think @deep glacier should write the questions but thats a me thing 🙏

[rancid coyote]

Fuck this wish imma not use it

[deep glacier]

no i cant think of anything im uncreative

[viscid zephyr]

its better than the original purpose of the question tho

[soft gorge]

My wish is to be able to use pokemon

[viscid zephyr]

they are against you

[foggy tendon]

Dosingle

[deep glacier]

you cant control them

[rancid coyote]

I wish for a candy bar

[soft gorge]

Wow

[deep glacier]

its cyanide-flavored

[steel atlas]

You get a can

[rancid coyote]

Who said I'd eat it, I'll just give it to someone

[soft gorge]

What if i wished to be able to use pokemon moves myself?

[viscid zephyr]

you get ||behind the|| bar||s||

[viscid zephyr]

you dont know how

[deep glacier]

they autotarget you and you cant only use the attacking ones

[woeful pulsar]

Alright how about this

I wish for a sub

[soft gorge]

Ughh

[deep glacier]

you get half a substitutor

[viscid zephyr]

as in?

[woeful pulsar]

up to interpretation.

[foggy tendon]

AGH MY LEGS DISAPPEARED

[deep glacier]

legs in my ass nickname moment

[woeful pulsar]

if the genie wishes to give me a femboy sliced in twain it is their perogative.

[viscid zephyr]

submarine it is

[woeful pulsar]

or that too

[woeful pulsar]

this is the best outcome though tbh

[soft gorge]

What if i wished i have infinite internet access even and if i dont have a device a hologram screen is used instead?

[woeful pulsar]

How would you halve that

[deep glacier]

you get his upper half and it will not shut the fuck up about putting things in its ass

[foggy tendon]

HOW IS TGIS THE BEST OUTCOME MY FUCKIN LEGS ARE GONE

[woeful pulsar]

worst outcome for you = best outcome for me

[viscid zephyr]

that is just meta vr thingy

buy it

idc

[deep glacier]

its horrible internet that cant do anything

[foggy tendon]

Rude

[woeful pulsar]

I now have a carnival attraction I can sell to make money

like come on I can just sell tickets

[deep glacier]

i will sell YOU to make money.

[woeful pulsar]

come see the talking head

[woeful pulsar]

lil bitch we have the same stats

[deep glacier]

damn real

[soft gorge]

What if i had infinite knowledge

[woeful pulsar]

sell me to make money 💀

[foggy tendon]

Slavery?

[woeful pulsar]

and you forget all of it

[deep glacier]

its useless knowledge that will never come in handy or use

[viscid zephyr]

of every number ever on money

[woeful pulsar]

cause you get dementia or something

[deep glacier]

you gain infinite knowledge, but you forgor 💀

[soft gorge]

What if i can always live a good life

[viscid zephyr]

alzhemier hits hard

[viscid zephyr]

always, in another one, sorry pal

[sweet vector]

ok but like could a billion of them beat every single Pokémon alright bye chat

[soft gorge]

What if i wished to be immortal?

[viscid zephyr]

you are mortal

[deep glacier]

it is half

[soft gorge]

Fuck

[deep glacier]

try again.

[woeful pulsar]

huh

[soft gorge]

What if i wished to have my devices always work in perfect condition

[deep glacier]

you don't have any devices, i stole all of them

[viscid zephyr]

your microwave is perfect!

[deep glacier]

to this tri-dart individual

[woeful pulsar]

here's my real wish

[rancid coyote]

I wish for no wishes

[soft gorge]

What if i wished to become the grand jury

[steel atlas]

Can I have that instead mine's busted

(Like fr)

[woeful pulsar]

I wish that everyone in this world gets a genie

[viscid zephyr]

yeah sure, i will actually

[steel atlas]

(I keep having to use the stove)

[soft gorge]

Honestly we can share

[deep glacier]

only i get a genie, me, the genie

[woeful pulsar]

🔥

genie for the genie

alright heres another one

[steel atlas]

If I ask the genie for two genies will I get another genie

[viscid zephyr]

this is the most fun i had in daily question lmao

[steel atlas]

is that genie trafficking

[deep glacier]

no but you get 2 more half-wish genies!

[woeful pulsar]

I wish that you (the genie) will find true love and satisfaction.

What is the end result of this

[rancid coyote]

I wish for a living partner

[woeful pulsar]

Yeah now you feel like garbage dont you genie

[foggy tendon]

This the type of shit that gets your wishes taken away in the first place

[deep glacier]

its reincarnated jeffery dahmer. he kills you.

[viscid zephyr]

i need to get my genie book renewed

[rancid coyote]

You fool, it's what I wanted

I won

[steel atlas]

If I ask both of them for 2 half wishes do I get quarter wish genies

[woeful pulsar]

@foggy tendon

[foggy tendon]

Uhhhh

[woeful pulsar]

what happens

[deep glacier]

you get 1/8th wish genies

[steel atlas]

That's not half is it tho

[deep glacier]

and?

[foggy tendon]

I find a decent enough love

[deep glacier]

do i care?

[soft gorge]

What if i wished for a bomb

[woeful pulsar]

I see

bro is literally Zephrys

[deep glacier]

you get no bomb, cry about it

[steel atlas]

I hope you stub your pinky toe against the hardest table in your house

[supple karma]

i wish for an extra arm

[deep glacier]

you fool, i dont have pinky toes, im a genie!!

[woeful pulsar]

@foggy tendon this you?

[deep glacier]

you get a disembodied arm and a corpse mutilation court case

[steel atlas]

You just get an extra hand sticking out of your torso

[foggy tendon]

Sure

[steel atlas]

No arm

Just hand

[woeful pulsar]

oh I got a nickname

[supple karma]

exactly what i wanted 😈

[woeful pulsar]

thanks zeph

[soft gorge]

[deep glacier]

fire

[woeful pulsar]

no its literally what he says

Zephrys's voiceline

[soft gorge]

What if i wished to be always healthy

[woeful pulsar]

"Your wish is my suggestion!"

[deep glacier]

you live a 50 year-long life riddled with crippling disease, but nor crippling enough to be hospitalized or receive insurance

actually fuck that, 30 year old life AND you die in agonizing pain

[woeful pulsar]

Jerry

Better one

You live in perfect health - but your lifespan is halved.

take this shit literally, stop your creative interpretation bullshit

he said half the wish you get half the wish

[soft gorge]

What if i wished to have the ability to grant myself wishes

[woeful pulsar]

this is literally normal genie bullshit

[deep glacier]

you can grant yourself half-wishes

[woeful pulsar]

its not even half wishing

[soft gorge]

Alr

[deep glacier]

okay i got the point you can stop whining

[woeful pulsar]

damn aight

[deep glacier]

but i still choose the consequences as the original genie

[soft gorge]

Lets go guys i got a good ending

[soft gorge]

NVM

[woeful pulsar]

I wish izashi would stop the self hate

[foggy tendon]

Non keep being my rule paladin you're doing a great job

[deep glacier]

i dont half wish you, non

you get off scot-free this time

[woeful pulsar]

paladinon, its next in the nickname queue

thanks

[fiery depot]

I wish for a pepperoni pizza

[deep glacier]

you get half of the pepperoni pizza, and its badly made so it tastes bad

[fiery depot]

:<

I wish for a not-so-petty goddamn genie

[deep glacier]

you get another goddamn genie, he is still petty

[fiery depot]

Fuck

[calm lance]

i wish for richesriches

[viscid zephyr]

no im not

[deep glacier]

you're not, but we are.

[viscid zephyr]

he a good genie for once xera

[deep glacier]

that's not the task at hand, i can't not be mean.

[viscid zephyr]

true

[viscid zephyr]

you get pizza, but with the topic you hate the most

and you cant take it off

[fiery depot]

Why? What's stopping me?

[viscid zephyr]

magic that made pizza possible

made topics anchored

[fiery depot]

:(

[viscid zephyr]

:)

[dire cliff]

huh yeah infinite of something cant be halved easily

well you're still dealing with half of infinite aka just infinite so thats still a bad wish to begin with

[earnest hollow]

I wish for all of the worlds population to die

[viscid zephyr]

of koalas

[earnest hollow]

https://tenor.com/view/thanos-infinity-gauntlet-snap-finger-snap-gif-12502580

[rough bone]

https://tenor.com/view/explode-chair-gif-25631400

Triple world hunger

Or give testicular cancer to the genie

[keen nexus]

I wish for 1 billion United States Dollars to be directly deposited into my bank account, under my name and social security, post tax, in a world where capitalism still exist and money retains its normal value, without the risk of a sudden rise in inflation due to my newfound wealth. All of this to be deposited in no more than 2 hours, with no one or nothing getting hurt in the process

[keen nexus]

Break this one down 🔥

[bronze kernel]

Arrested for having 1 billion deposited in one sitting, looking extremely suspicious and almost guaranteed to be a crime lord.

Sent to life in prison

[leaden osprey]

You get 500 million USD and the reaction from the US government for suddenly getting 500 million USD

[keen nexus]

That’s only suspicion tho, nothing definite

What if I have a good enough lawyer

[bronze kernel]

nah its like wayyy wayyy wayyy too much

lol

like even a few hundere thousand would be too much probably

you'd just get arrested instantly probably

[cobalt monolith]

you stole this from a video

like the exact wording i remember seeing a video with it

[keen nexus]

Nah I didn’t steal it (their version is a lot better)

[foggy tendon]

It looks similar to the one from the Chris and Jack video

[keen nexus]

Ya that’s where I got it from

[brisk kelp]

i wish for peace and quiet

[tough scaffold]

I wish for World Peace and 1 billion U.S dollars

[sly egret]

i wish for nothing

how could that be turned on me

checkmate

[tough scaffold]

You die and therefore your existence becomes nothing

[sly egret]

i see no downside

[jagged forum]

Insane art skills

[deep glacier]

you get insane art (drawings, not skills), like drawn by a schizo on enough meds to barely not kill him

[jagged forum]

I'm ok

[deep glacier]

you have to take them

[jagged forum]

Hell teah

[woeful pulsar]

I wish for a basketball.

By the logic, my wish is sliced in half

basket|ball

I will either recieve a basket or a ball

easy

[lament verge]

you get both and they’re both halved

[deep glacier]

you get lead poisoning and no basketball, you made too many wishes

[woeful pulsar]

all my wishes were huge Ws

what do you mean

[supple karma]

the basketball is made out of your hair

[tough scaffold]

You get a basket that contains a severed head

Good luck trying to evade the authorities now

[leaden osprey]

I wish that wishes cannot have unintended effects outside of the scope of just having the stated wish suddenly happen (i.e. if I wish for a basketball I won't get suddenly and immediately receive a severed head along with it, because a severed head is outside the scope of the usual immediate consequences of receiving a basketball. It was not stated in the wish.)

[earnest hollow]

Unintended effects begin without you wishing

[tough scaffold]

The wishes cannot have unintended effects anymore congrats

But now the wishes don't suddenly happen, in fact they never happen at all

Congrat wishes no longer work

[viscid zephyr]

🔥

[leaden osprey]

So I downgraded us back to wishless reality

Close the thread smhhh

[hearty ruin]

i wish for an atom in donald trumps head

oh whoops its split its in two

[woeful pulsar]

I wish the genie shoves this qotd up its ass

[lament verge]

Wish

Granted since this genie is used to having things in his ass

[tough scaffold]

Actual I got a good one

I wish that the genie would be freed from his lamp but to free him I had to stub my toe

[woeful pulsar]

so either you stub your toe

or the genie is freed

huh?

[tough scaffold]

Exactly, so then the genie has a crisis where obviously the stubbing my toe is the worst half of the wish but the genie really wants to be freed

So I've put the Genie in an ethical dilemma that would not happen if he had just given me a full wish

[earnest raptor]

the genie stubs his toe

[woeful pulsar]

L Genie

@foggy tendon I wish for the perfect card

[deep glacier]

you get the 7th most useful card in the scenario

[woeful pulsar]

lore accurate Zephrys

[gentle saddle]

If I wish for 0 wishes how many wishes would I get

[deep glacier]

0/2

[jagged forum]

0

[leaden osprey]

My productivity, measured in time spent actually doing the thing I intended to do with this time / time allotted to do thing intended to do becomes the mean between my current average productivity measured in the same way and 95% productivity based on this measure, without harming myself, others, or my general well-being.

[tough scaffold]

The genie turns your face into the nerd emoji

[leaden osprey]

That isn't even half or any part of my wish smh

[tough scaffold]

Yeah it is

The half that gets discarded is the wish itself and the half that gets granted is you said some nerd ass shit so he turns you into the Nerd Emoji

[leaden osprey]

[woeful pulsar]

you conveniently divided your wish for the genie!

My productivity, measured in time spent actually doing the thing I intended to do with this time /-

-time allotted to do thing intended to do becomes the mean between my current average productivity measured in the same way and 95% productivity based on this measure, without harming myself, others, or my general well-being.

[woeful pulsar]

so if we're being very literal then genie takes this half

[leaden osprey]

Sorry, could you explain it in some sort of simpler terms?

Not exactly getting what you mean? Does the genie just take the productivity boost I asked for?

[woeful pulsar]

your time allotted to do what you want

bcomes the-

[woeful pulsar]

.........bitch. write it in the most complex terms ask me to explain it back simple

this is why genies scam people

ALRIGHT

[woeful pulsar]

the amount of time you allocate for something is now ~50% of what it used to be.

this does not harm yourself, others or your general well being.

[leaden osprey]

ask me to explain it back simple

Sorry uhhh I didn't get it in first pass but I assume that this just means I procrastinate less in the time I give myself to do stuff?

[woeful pulsar]

It means you give yourself less time to do stuff.

[leaden osprey]

fuck

[supple karma]

he adds an extra x0 and your productivity becomes 0

[long jungle]

I wish for 2 burgers

[tough scaffold]

You get 2 burger patties without any of the buns or toppings

[woeful pulsar]

cool

not a bad outcome I say

[long jungle]

mmmmmm yummy burger

[calm lance]

You get 2

[long jungle]

2 what

[long jungle]

If I get like a giant stone statue that's just a 2 that's sick as hell

[deep glacier]

no you just get 2

[calm lance]

2