Feedback to a commercial ad Cigar Lounge

[sudden delta]

I filmed and directed a promotional ad for a cigar lounge but as I was done editing I have second thoughts about the pace of the ad… maybe too long and stretched…

[rare torrent]

It’s really good! It is a little bit long in my opinion but it’s not that big of an issue

[marble rose]

Marker. @rare torrent is on Take 7!

[sudden delta]

Are you sure? I’ve been thinking even maybe do another version..

Or maybe I should take some shots off

[rare torrent]

I was about to say you can take some shots off,
Some of them are not necessary in my opinion

But im not a professional…

[sudden delta]

Not trying to ask for a professional opinion I’m trying to ask for an honest opinion

[sudden delta]

If you could specify exactly in what second is the shot that you would take off it would be the best

[long fjord]

Take my opinion with a grain of salt because I’m no pro but it definitely feels a bit long 1 min 25 is a long time and probably won’t A. Capture the attention of people or B. Keep that attention

[rare torrent]

I the 20 sec the room shot, I feel it’s not very necessary

[sudden delta]

No doubt. I also have the feeling that it’s too long. Maybe i should take off some of the cigar lighting… but what else should I take off to your opinion?

[marble rose]

Marker. @sudden delta is on Take 2!

[sudden delta]

Yeah, I know, but I thought maybe I should put it in only because after all the client wants to show his place

[rare torrent]

I also think in the 30 sec you don’t need to show him put the bottle back on the table

[rare torrent]

Yeah

[sudden delta]

It is so hard to give up for such a nice shot. You have no idea.

But I’ll try it

[rare torrent]

lol

I really like what you did with the lighting btw

[sudden delta]

Thank you very appreciated

Lighting is everything

Camera doesn’t really matter

The thing is that this is not an ad commercial for advertising on tv shows… it’s more like a promotional ad for people that anyway interested in going to the lounge but wanna know what it feels like TMO maybe i should shorten it a little bit but it’s not to grab someone’s attention on tiktok…

[sudden delta]

@long fjord

[torn flume]

Pretty good, the actual cinematography’s great, but the biggest thing you need to remember when making an ad is “what am I advertising”.
If it wasn’t for that last crawl I would have thought it was a cigar or a liquor ad, especially how much they’re emphasized. We’ve all seen that Super Bowl commercial that feels like it’s advertising one thing, then baits and switches at the end.
It might be a bit better to switch around the shots, and cut some. I like how you show the sign when he enters the building, maybe end on the sign so you further emphasize “go to THIS place”
Cigars and liquor are nice, but I don’t go to a cigar lounge for the liquor and cigars, I do it for the experience. This felt a little too much like “damn I love liquors and cigars… look at my liquor brand… oh and I just so happen to be at a cigar lounge”
It was still pretty great, your cinematography and lighting was amazing, but those little philosophies are what make good ads into great ads

(And we do have to remember: it is an ad in the end)

[flint grove]

Depends on the use case.
for a website video this is strong.
though the random amounts of whiskey is kinda weird to me-
no way someone would pour a tumbler that full unless they want to make someone drink themself to death

First time watching, the fluctuating wind sounds felt off, but on a second watch it does work, though maybe a bit more sobtlety would be nice

with the showing off the liquor bottle it does not feel like you're promoting the bar that much, unless they themselves are advertising with that particular brand

For showing off the bar it's kinda missing the people who work there (the usual smiles?)
it looks like the place where lonely middle aged/burnt out men can go to be lonely

[sudden delta]

How can you switch Shots? The order should be that you enter the place and chose a cigar, sit down, someone offers you a drink, you light it up, and then start talking to people…
To end with the sign at the end is actually a really good advice!! Thx

[marble rose]

Marker. @sudden delta is on Take 3!

[sudden delta]

Me myself to be honest, went there to relax and be alone and on the way also to talk to people was very nice. The thing that I wanted to show is that you’re coming from outside the cold and then you’re coming to your inner peace that you can relax in a warm place. That’s why I shot outside with more cold colors and inside with very warm colors.

Maybe I focused too much on the items that you actually get there but the order should be like this and maybe I should take the shot that you see the lounge to put it at the end

Lmk what you think

[sudden delta]

@flint grove @torn flume @rare torrent @marble rose

New updated with all the advices

[torn flume]

Loving it. It’s absolutely crazy how much those tiny little adjustments get me from feeling like it’s a liquor commercial to a lounge commercial. I think the slight shortening also helped it flow better into the song

[sudden delta]

To be honest, the advice was very, very helpful

Big, big thank you

Did you see anything else they need to be changed?

[sudden delta]

Changed the wind sfx btw.. well said

[flint grove]

comes across way better this way

nice going

[sudden delta]

Thx. Do you think that there’s anything I need to change? Or it’s ready to be sent as the final version?

[flint grove]

I cannot speak for your client

It looks fine as is

Nothing is ever perfect and anything can be spent hundreds of hours on

So I'd say it's fine to be shipped off

[stoic dock]

The Crown Cigar Lounge- Cinematic Ad #cinematic #bmpcc4k #cigarlounge #rokinon #cinelens #sigma
https://youtu.be/_CSLgbQ5ux8

[stoic dock]

This is the final one…

[stoic dock]

(My second account)

Thank you all for helping!!

[rare torrent]

Better