#lyssie [corrigez-moi svp]
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Our volunteers look into many questions every day; sometimes it takes them a little while to answer.
Make it descriptive, including relevant context, but also to the point. This way you improve your chances of getting a more relevant and specific answer.
All these words are different so this is kind of like 4 different questions.
I will try to explain "dont":
"dont" is more comparable to a specific use of "que". You can remember it will describe an object that would be introduced by "de" in a flipped sentence structure.
Consider the English phrases
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"I need a book" - j'ai besoin d'un livre (Notice "de" here)
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"This is the book that I need" - C'est le livre dont j'ai besoin (we use "dont" to describe the object which was introduced by de)
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"I love this cat" - j'adore ce chat (notice this does not use "de". the cat is also the object of the sentence.)
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"This is the cat that I love" - c'est le chat que j'adore (we use "que" to describe the object here, which was not introduced by de)
This is great but you don’t need qui because dont is merely for objects
ie i should remove the qui examples?
A better English example might be « avoir peur de qqch (to be scared of smth) » because both the English and French versions use « de » or ‘of’ here.
J’ai peur du monstre
I am scared of the monster
=>
Le monstre dont j’ai peur
The monster of which I am scared
I would yes
Would you like to explain « auquel » and « duquel » as well?
I would but I don't feel I understand those ones enough myself 😅
Alright, mind if I take over?
go ahead yepp
Great okay
So, Blunket’s done a really good job with explaining « dont » but this relative pronoun is a bit of a special case
Let’s pull back a bit
French has two types of grammatical objects: direct and indirect. An object is direct or indirect based off the presence of a preposition preceding the object.
(1) Je vois le chat.
(2) Cette voiture appartient à ma mère.
Here, we see that in (1), « le chat » is not preceded by a preposition so this is direct. By contrast, (2) has « ma mère » with the preposition « à » before it; thus it is indirect. With me so far?
Okay, whenever you see a relative pronoun, that means that you have two clauses – a clause meaning the smallest unit comprising of a subject and a verb at minimum – fused together. These are called complex sentences.
« La voiture que tu achètes est très belle. (The car that you are buying is really beautiful.) »
Here, we actually have two clauses:
(1) The independent/principal clause
« La voiture est très belle »
(2) The dependent/subordinate clause
« Tu achètes la voiture »
We see that there is a noun found in both clauses, « la voiture », which will be the glue holding our new sentence. We don’t do anything with the independent clause, just the dependent.
What role is the noun playing here in the dependent clause? It’s an object. Is there a preposition before it? No, so it’s direct. Because of that, we replace the noun with « que », the direct object relative pronoun, move it to the start of the sentence (because the relative pronoun must be right next to the shared noun in the independent clause), and badabing badaboom you get your new sentence.
This is the structure that will apply when we talk about « lequel ». When we are talking about indirect objects, our relative pronoun is « lequel ». However, unlike « que », « lequel » has to agree with the noun it is replacing in number and gender. This means that if the shared noun is plural and masculine, for example, « lequel » has to be plural and masculine as well : « lesquels ».
Let’s take our two clauses from earlier and change our dependent clause.
(1) « La voiture est très belle »
(2) « Tu t’intéresses à la voiture »
Same sequence, but wait, there’s a preposition now in the dependent clause. This means that our object is now indirect. First off, we replace « la voiture » with « lequel » but remember that it has to agree. « la voiture » is feminine and singular so « lequel » must be feminine and singular : « laquelle ». Now this is crucial: The preposition stays with the object. Under no circumstances can you separate them. So now, instead of « à la voiture », you have « à laquelle ». This is your indirect object relative pronoun. With that, we move the whole thing to the left because the relative pronoun needs to be next to the shared noun and we have the new sentence:
« La voiture à laquelle tu t’intéresses est très belle. »
‘The car in which you are interested is really beautiful.’
-# The English formulation uses ‘in’ as its preposition whereas the French uses « à », sorry about that
This structure is the general indirect object structure: preposition plus « lequel » agreeing in number and gender to the shared noun.
A couple of examples with various forms and prepositions:
« Les principes pour lesquels tu luttes sont faux. (The principles for which you fight are false.) »
Made from the clauses « Les principes sont faux » and « Tu luttes pour les principes ». We have « lesquels » because it is replacing « les principes », a masculine plural noun.
« Les idées sur lesquelles votre pays repose sont nobles. (The ideas on which your country is based are noble.) » Made from the clauses « Les idées sont nobles » and « Votre pays repose sur les idées ». It’s « lesquelles » because it’s replacing « les idées », a feminine plural noun.
What about auquel specifically? Well, you see, the le in « lequel » is actually an article. You remember how when « à » meets « le » it becomes « au » and when it meets « les » it becomes « aux » ? Same idea here: Just as « à + les idées » becomes « aux idées », so too « à + lesquelles » becomes « auxquelles ».
Now, if this is the general structure for indirect objects, what’s up with « dont » ? Why do we have that instead of « duquel » or « desquelles » ? Well, « de » is a pretty unique preposition because although it is indirect, its relative pronoun acts like the direct object pronoun. There’s no « lequel », just « dont ».
But does that mean that « duquel » and its variants never appear? Well, this is another ‘special’ trait of « de ». You see, « de » appears in a lot of what we call ‘compound’ prepositions. Instead of being just a random preposition, compound prepositions have an adverb added to it. For some reason, the vast majority choose « de ». We have prepositions like « près de (near to) », « à côté de (next to) », etc., where we have adverbs like « près (near) » and « à côté (beside) » with this preposition « de ».
And now we have an unstoppable force vs immovable object scenario. On one hand, these compound prepositions are fixed expressions; you cannot mess with them. On the other hand, « de » is never preserved as a relative pronoun; it and the object are both replaced with « dont ».
The solution is to bring back the general structure of the indirects because it preserves the preposition (satisfies the criteria that these are fixed expressions and cannot be changed) and has an object reference (it has a relative pronoun). Same rule as the general indirect structure.
Say I have these two clauses.
(1) Independent clause: « L’arbre est grand »
(2) Dependent clause: « Tu t’assois à côté de l’arbre »
We follow the steps of the general model: We find the shared noun (l’arbre), we add the relative pronoun (lequel), we make it agree (lequel because l’arbre is masculine and singular), and that’s it. Move it next to the shared noun and we have our full sentence:
« L’arbre à côté duquel tu t’assois est grand. »
‘The tree next to which you are sitting is big.’
Remember that « de » meeting the article « le » becomes « du » so « de » and « lequel » become « duquel ».
@fossil yarrow Whew that’s a lot, take your time digesting
thank you guys!!! thank you so so much! this very valuable. it's a part ive been stuck on. i appreciate it so much. the work you put into explaining is phenomenal. thank you again!!! 
here are some more succinct examples
« C'est la premier serveur auquel je rentre. »
-# This is the first server I've ever been to ||(to which I have gone)||.
« C'est ma sœur qui m'a fait découvrir, et aujourd'hui c'est le truc duquel on parle le plus donc ça nous a permis de beaucoup nous rapprocher. »
-# It was my sister who introduced me to it, and today it's the thing we talk about the most ||(the thing of which we talk the most)||, so it's allowed us to become much closer.
« C'est aussi la raison pour laquelle j'ai peu d'amis. »
-# That’s also why ||(the reason for which)|| I have few friends.

whoa what a saga
pourquoi "le truc duquel" et pas "le truc dont"?