#flashlight2537

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

quick escarpBOT
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oak birch
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okay so

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are we telling the story in the present or in the past

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the narrator can't use both present and imparfait

sonic star
oak birch
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Who's they

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The only person talking is the narrator
He quotes what the characters said in the past

sterile fable
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i noticed some misspellings with diacritics

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"C'était un énergumène!"

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also frère in the last line

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hé should have an acute also

sonic star
oak birch
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Idk it makes sense to me

sonic star
oak birch
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There's other mistakes but first i wanna know what tense(s) we're going for

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Ig present for now

sonic star
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Um...the story is in the present

oak birch
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You don't have the text on computer do you

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To paste it here

sonic star
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I'm using my phone

oak birch
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Yeah or on phone

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En numérique

sonic star
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So the first sentence I should use Elle pose?

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Not elle a posé

oak birch
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Not poser at all

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Poser une question is to ask a question, but if you remove "question" you should use demander

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Poser is to put sth down

sonic star
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Elle demand a-t-elle?

oak birch
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"Tout va bien ?", demande-t-elle.
"Oh non. Je suis très navré Susan", dit Marie.
Susan regarde le dégât. Son gâteau de mariage est tombé par terre. Et devant lui, il y a un homme recouvert de cerise.
"C'est un énergumène !" crie Marie.
"Il a gâché le mariage !" Elle lui prend les oreilles.
"Debout !" Il se lève empoté et maladroit. Marie a perdu sa patience, mais Susan n'est pas d'accord.
"..." crie Marie.
"Hé ! Fiche lui la paix. C'est ton mari.", dit Susan.
Marie rétorque : "Il n'est qu'un homme banal et stupide. Regarde comme il a tout gâché !"
Susan soupire.
"Eh ben Marie. C'est aussi mon petit frère."

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Not sure what you mean with that eh ben

sonic star
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Oh merci Yez. You are helping me a lot

oak birch
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Is elle lui prend les oreilles literal? xd

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I can't see a figurative meaning for it

sonic star
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Yes 😄 she litteraly grabbed him by the ears

oak birch
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Damn

faint egret
oak birch
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Ben oui

faint egret
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Ok bas c'est ça alors juste attraper c'est bizzard elle met tirer et c'est bon ducoup

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Bizard*

oak birch
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Bizarre

sonic star
oak birch
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*contre lui

faint egret
sonic star
oak birch
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Était tombé

sonic star
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Je pige

oak birch
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Fiche lui

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He uses tu in the rest of the sentence

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And i assume they use tu with each other considering they're getting married

sonic star
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Oh i see

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Merci à tous. J'apprends beaucoup de chose

rn_image_picker_lib_temp_ecad8221-99cd-40b0-92f6-93028b23b27d.jpg
sterile fable
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stupide has an e

sonic star
sudden oasis
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« navré » should be in the feminine since the person saying that is named Marie, a woman's name. If you can't accord the adjective, better change the person to, I don't know, « Marc ».

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« était tombé » is the plus-que-parfait; this should be in the passé composé because the main tense is in the present. There is no past even that occurs between the cake falling and Susan looking at the cake to warrant the plus-que-parfait.

sonic star
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Thank you

sudden oasis
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« Il se lève empoté et maladroite » should be a comma after « lève » to describe the man's attitude

sonic star
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Fixed it

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Oh okay

sudden oasis
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« Marie crié » you have a past participle here instead of a verb, look at the first dialogue tag « demande-t-elle ».

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A better example would be the « érgumène » dialogue

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« Regard comme il a gâché tout »
This is the imperative, « regarder » is not conjugated correctly. It is conjugated correctly in your word list though

sonic star
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Pourquoi c'est "un homme recouvert de cerise" et pas "un homme se recouvert de cerise"?

sudden oasis
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It can be, you have to change the structure

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It's not a verb here, it's an adjective

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« Il y a un homme recouvert de cerise. »
'There is a man covered in cherries.'

sonic star
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J'ai dis cherries? Je veux dire frosting lmao

sudden oasis
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If you want to use « se recouvrir », you have to change it into a clause

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« Il y a un homme [recouvert / qui se recouvert] de cerise »

sudden oasis
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Oh wait, I'm guessing you're thinking about the expression « la cerise sur le gâteau (the icing on the cake) »?

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Yeah, that's an expression

sonic star
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Ah, we also have "the cherry on the cake" in english. It's all making sense now

sudden oasis
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By saying « Susan fait un soupire », did you mean Susan sighed?

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We don't use « faire », we'd use « passer »

sonic star
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Ah, Susan passe un soupire?

sudden oasis
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« Susan passe un soupir (Susan lets out a sigh) »
« Susan soupire (Susan sighs) »

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passer un soupir (no E)
soupirer

sonic star
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Wow this helps me a lot. I made so many mistakes

sudden oasis
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yeah don't worry about that

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better to try and make mistakes than not trying at all

sonic star
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I am learning from all of this, it really helps

mossy smelt
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OH POUSSER UN SOUPIR

oak birch
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ahhh

mossy smelt
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pas passer

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Comme "pousser un cri"

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Mais ouais le plus simple reste "soupirer"

sudden oasis