Tout doucement

[fresh wind]

Please be patient

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[south trail]

For non-pronominal verbs, the rule is simple: être always agrees with the subject and avoir only agrees if the direct object is behind the verb.

Il a vu le bâtiment.
Il a vu les bâtiments.
Il a vu la fleur.
Il a vu les fleurs.
Here, the direct object « bâtiment/fleur » is placed after the verb, so the past participle « vu » doesn't change.

Il l'a vu. (le bâtiment)
Il les a vus. (les bâtiments)
Il l'a vu__e__ (la fleur)
Il les a vu__es__ (les fleurs)
Here, the direct object « bâtiment/fleur » is in the pronoun form which is placed before the verb, so the past participle « vu » changes to agree with it.

Le bâtiment qu'il a vu.
Les bâtiments qu'il a vus.
La fleur qu'il a vu__e__.
Les fleurs qu'il a vu__es__.
Here, the direct object « bâtiment/fleur » is replaced by the relative pronoun « que » and the combined form is placed before the verb, so the past participle « vu » changes to agree with it.

For pronominal verbs, that's a tad more complex. You can read more here: https://www.lawlessfrench.com/grammar/agreement-with-pronominal-verbs/

[subtle dagger]

Does the gender only agrees in the past tense and no other tense?

[south trail]

Yes because conjugation doesn’t change for gender whereas the past participle is closer to an adjective so it changes in gender and number

[subtle dagger]

Wdym by number?

[south trail]

The amount of objects or subjects. Notice how with one fleur it’s « vue » but many fleurs it’s « vues ». It agrees with the number or amount of « fleur »

It’s the same reason why « vous » conjugations with « être » can be singular or plural because the pronoun can be singular or plural.

(Votre professeur) -> Vous êtes arrivé !
(Vos professeurs) -> Vous êtes arrivés !

[subtle dagger]

And if it would be a masculine noun would it be vus

[south trail]

right

[subtle dagger]

But is every verb not like that?

[south trail]

Not every verb uses être as their auxiliary

[subtle dagger]

Only the drmrs vandertramp?

I’m a bit confused

[subtle dagger]

Sorry for bothering you but I struggle a lot with grammar

[south trail]

Not at all!

[south trail]

Yes though the acronym only lists the most common ones, it's not exhaustive

[subtle dagger]

Ah ok

[subtle dagger]

So être in this case makes the number agree and if I was to say vous avez mangés would that not work?

[south trail]

Number and gender, but yes.
To sum it up, compound tenses like passé composé are composed of the auxiliary verb + the past participle. Verbs conjugate according to person and tense but past participles are essentially adjectives so they agree in gender and number of the direct object behind the verb.
For verbs that take « être », the direct object is the same as the subject so it's always behind the verb which means it always agrees like « il est arrivé, elle est arrivée / ils sont arrivés, elles sont arrivées ».
For verbs that take « avoir », the direct object is going to be ahead of the verb so it never agrees unless the direct object is moved behind the verb like in a pronoun form (j'ai vu la fleur -> je l'ai vue) or in a subordinate clause form (j'ai vu la fleur -> la fleur que j'ai vue).

(note: explanation excludes pronominal verbs)

[mental knoll]

what's about for être ? since i only see avoir examples

[subtle dagger]

You’re a lifesaver tysm man! 1hr ago I knew nothing about gender agreements and now I think I know it!

[south trail]

être always agrees because the non-pronominal verbs that take être as an auxiliary don't have direct objects

[subtle dagger]

Bruh

[mental knoll]

oh wait for être you change the ending based off who says it

soooo

ils sont partis?

[south trail]

right

[subtle dagger]

Could you please give an example?

[mental knoll]

and for women you out elles sont parties right?

put*

[south trail]

yup

[mental knoll]

hehe i remember it all now

thx u

[south trail]

Pronominal verbs are a bit trickier but the same rule applies, it's just that it's a bit harder to tell. In general, pronominal verbs tend to agree since a pronominal verb by definition means that the object is the same as the subject. Agreement here depends on the pronoun « se »: if it's direct it will agree but if it's indirect, it won't
For example, the verb « se souvenir de » takes an indirect object so the pronoun « se » is direct which means it agrees.
Ex: Il s'est souvenu d'elle / Elle s'est souvenue d'elle

Another example would be the verb « se raser » which takes a direct object so the pronoun « se » is indirect; it never agrees.
Ex: Il s'est rasé la tête / Elle s'est rasé la tête
In this example, we can also move the direct object back and make the participle agree with the direct object pronoun.
Ex: Il se l'est rasée / Elle se l'est rasée

(please read the linked article)