Will treat it as if it is still in cutting floor, from retention point of view.
First 11 seconds could be cut.
Explanation (from 0:11, "In Kabuto Park...") could replace that section as the start, as it introduces and hooks pretty well.
At end of 0:48 "...assume we could go over here", you could have cut to there immediately (to 0:54) where you are at the place.
Do like the jokes sprinkled in (as it is additive and does not break flow).
At 2:48 after "...increase all of it's stats..", you can cut to 2:52 "..if we head over to battle..."
The Zoom ins on parts you mention is good, cuts feel well timed, and what is included does a good job on being relevant for showing your first time experience of the game.
At 5:33, that was good way to speed up that process, and at 5:58, when you find a new (rarity of) bug you to show that process in full.
At 7:32, after you say "..select you", you can cut to 7:42 "....so right now...", as section between isn't necessary.
10:38 to 10:43 is another good demonstration of speeding up the process in a satisfying and time efficient way (as I assume multiple bug catching runs/visits are shown over that duration), and appreciate the pause when "rare" bugs show up to show full catching process.
At 11:45, "..sell all the ones we don't need", you could have done a mass selling edit (with cuts to each sell press), with interjection at 12:13, left as it is
Asking for subscription does feel well placed there, being so far in though could be shorter (no particular suggestion on it).
14:04 could cut to 14:12, and 15:06 to 15:09.
quartz vapor
storm mirage
unkempt ivy