vague basalt
What: This is a breakdown video for a new game.
Type of Feedback: How was my commentary? How well did the video flow? Did it hold your attention?
Specifics: How did I sound in the video? Did I ever lose your attention? Is it sub worthy? Did the thumbnail draw you in at all? How can I improve?
heady lava
So I guess this is most important.
Your thumbnail needs work, I've not even watched the video.
The red doesn't stand out, so makes it somewhat hard to read.
Overall, it looks low effort (I'm not saying you haven't put effort in. But this also leads people to believe that the editing in the video isn't going to be great).
From what I've been told recently, stick to small words in a thumbnail.
Try to trigger emotion within the thumbnail, typically people use a shocked face, something which makes you look and click it, think about it then next time you watch a video, look at the thumbnail, how did it catch you attention?
There's a web based image editor called https://www.photopea.com/. It's basically photoshop but free and based within the web. Learn how to use this to make better thumbnails!
As for the video feedback:
After some commentary, there's around 1-2 seconds of no audio. Rather than fading into the trailer audio. This just felt clunky to me. This is also the same for when cutting from the trailer to your commentary. Try to introduce a fade, rather than a Cut.
When editing, I would try to trim your commentary so there's not a second or two of pause, personally I think that would help the video flow better.
When the trailer finished, I thought the video had ended, due to the 3 second pause that happened before you resumed your commentary. Try to trim this down as much as possible.
To answer the main questions in your ask though.
How was my commentary? - I would say it was Ok, some words I couldn't work out what you said and I natively speak English, so while it's not super crucial, try not to slur / mumble your words
How well did the video flow? - I had a hard time to keep focused, with the cutting of trailer audio to commentary it was very jumpy.
Did it hold your attention? Not really, I've played MH before, and I feel I would of just found the trailer to watch myself.
How did I sound in the video? Sound Quality wise, I could hear you fine, no issues with certain audio being too loud
Did I ever lose your attention? Yes, for reasons stated above.
Is it sub worthy? I would not subscribe based off of this video.
Did the thumbnail draw you in at all? How can I improve? See the feedback at the top!
Overall it was an Ok video, you could of expanded on certain points of the weapons, knowing you liked MH so much. This could of led into a discussion about certain weapons, upgrade trees .etc. much like what MH has to offer currently. I don't want you to feel like I have purposely said this video was rubbish, because it's not, take this as constructive feedback to improve moving forward. (I'm not the best youtuber either. I'm just starting out too, so feedback is everything to me).
vague basalt
So I guess this is most important.
Your thumbnail needs work, I've not even wat...
Appreciate the feedback! Yeah first time doing a breakdown so figured it would be rough in most areas, I typically just do guides. For the words you said couldn't make out, was the music too loud or just the actual pronunciation? My mic is pretty low quality so I try my best to enunciate as much as possible, been testing different filters to make it clearer. Any particular time stamps for words that were heard to understand? Also as for the fade in should I start commentary immediately after the trailer clip or slightly before it ends?