Script of the Week - Osbern (TV)

[keen elm]

Hey everyone be sure to check out our brand spankin' new SCRIPT OF THE WEEK!

TITLE: Osbern
GENRE: Period Drama
FORMAT: TV
LOGLINE: When a young bastard lay worker for a church in 1100s England gets arrested for stealing church goods, he must help a noble bent on stealing church land which gets him caught in a conflict between church, crown, and his own desires for revenge.

NOTES: Is this character unlikeable? What about this character is preventing dramatic progression in this screenplay?

This week's featured script is written by @abstract maple! Jacoby is a VIP Member who supports Script Hive via Patreon, which helps keep this amazing resource FREE. You can give back to our generous Patrons by providing some much needed feedback on their script. If you've received feedback from this community in this past, please consider paying it forward!

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Any or all notes are appreciated. If you can't read the whole thing, make note of where you stopped reading and why.

You can send notes via DM or post them here. Thanks guys!

[hollow vortex]

Hey @abstract maple ! I have DMed you some feedback. I hope that it helps!

[maiden gyro]

Just so you know, as a mod I could see your posts. Unfortunately the bot censors the f-word even if you're not actively swearing at someone. Like, your use of the word was reasonable (quoting the script), but bot is bot.

I'm sorry you ran into that. It isn't the first time I've seen that problem.

[hollow vortex]

Ah, thank you @maiden gyro. I was trying for a good while to figure out what was wrong. My apologies for the inconvenience.

[maiden gyro]

Nah, it's more inconvenient for you than it is for us!

[abstract maple]

Thank you so much! This is really thorough feedback and I really appreciate it. I submitted this script to the blacklist a month ago and it didn’t do as well as I’d hoped. I ended up getting an evaluation of a 5 and they don’t tell you a lot about everything that went wrong so this feedback is super helpful!