I'm looking for a feedback or general reactions for this one-pager of my work in progress feature, is it exciting and hooking? Just making sure it's not totally boring before I spend months on it. Any other feedback is fine too.
#Test Market-Feature wip-one pager
quick turtle
hardy canopy
is this a period piece?
quick turtle
is this a period piece?
It's set in ~2010-2013
At the time were colleges didn’t yet use tablets or online assignments.
In Act 3, after the main character after he gets his glory, the university starts noticing a suspicious rise in students’ grades. As a result, they change the system finals become digital, and everything moves to tablets.
This leaves him feeling replaced, which ties back to the story’s core theme: ruthless competition leads to being replaced.
hardy canopy
I think my problem with this idea as written is that you spend a lot of time leading up to the big conflict generating incident, which is "an idea blooms"
This is when your story starts, and you don't need more than 10 or 15 minutes on everything else
So I'm not sure how to give feedback if the meat of this story is three things in a list at the end of a graf
Its not a bad idea, but this is such a nascent, not quite focused treatment that there's not much to actually talk about yet.