#One Page Challenge 242

15 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

junior sundial
#

<@&698916665710215209> The OPC is a weekly event, challenging all to write and submit a single page corresponding to that week's Elements. While the page needs to be enjoyable on its own, it does not need to be a complete story.

All entries must be standard screenwriting format and must not include a cover page. Entries based off of existing work will be disqualified on weeks with prizes.

Last week @spiral chasm took top prize, congrats!

oscar 🖊️ 📄 ONE PAGE CHALLENGE #242 📄 🖊️ oscar

This week's Elements (which must be incorporated) are:
▫️Two locations that switch back and forth (at least two time La for each location)

Submissions are now open and will remain open until Sunday 10:00PT/13:00ET/18:00UTC. Vote on your favorite submissions with the plus_one emoji. Good luck!

If you would like to help come up with prompts, you can do so via the following form (full credit will be given!): https://forms.gle/FCfd9K59QPtp27Fu7

OPCGraphicBrandedSH.png
dire bloom
#

Good job last week everyone!

wise hamlet
spiral chasm
# wise hamlet Feedback would be awesome

my initial feedback is I love the visuals and the time-entanglement! Some technical stuff atm... Make sure to be consistent with your Scene Headings staying capitalized (i.e... your first 2 lines EXT. Dirt road-day, then later EXT. DIRT ROAD-DAY) Typical formatting is also a space between location and day or night...so EXT. DIRT ROAD - DAY. Another small nitpick is (beat) is typically used within dialogue, not within action lines.

spiral chasm
#

finally got a chance to write a bit...

dire bloom
#

I did steal from Terminator 2 for this (the scene where they are at the payphone and the dog is barking in the background) If it disqualifies me please let me know!

📎 PTO_Default_Branch.pdf
dire bloom
# spiral chasm

Excellent use of the prompt, you built up the tension of the scene very well and it came across clearly. I liked the fake-out at the end too!
||My nitpicks would be

  • there are a few errors here and there such as worlddd and punctuation, but these are easily fixed.
  • The fade in right at the beginning, I'd avoid using transitions right at the beginning because it is a one pager and not necessary. ||
spiral chasm
frigid zealot
dire bloom
# frigid zealot Open to feedback!

Ooooo I liked this, ||i thought the way you described the mop bucket, the "human scum", along with him breaking his arm was just well done. (I really loved the part you described him squeezing out the mop, I really cannot tell you why lol)
I won't lie I think the tone confused me a little bit, with the pastel colored costume and the "cleaning the streets" made me get a Kick-Ass (the movie) kind of vibe to it. Like a funny but heroic tone to it but the end made me think it was supposed to be serious. ||
Well done!||

frigid zealot
compact tide
frigid zealot
thin sable