#vega-playground
1 messages · Page 21 of 1
!cat
!dadjoke
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
!dog
!pug
You chose My.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps BFG-10000
You chose Bfg-10000.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
How
!Rps kill_yourself
You chose Kill_yourself.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps the_entire_fucking_covenant
You chose The_entire_fucking_covenant.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps davoth
You chose Davoth.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
Papers the doomslayer in disguise
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
What i dont understand is the profanity rule. The BFG stands for big fucking gun
!dadjoke
Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
!cat
!rps BFG9000
You chose Bfg9000.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!rps God
You chose God.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
!rps Big Bird
You chose Big.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
!dadjoke
I got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves.
Hi vega
Hi, @light dagger.
What was a more important invention than the first telephone? The second one.
You gotta say Hi vega
Hi, @scenic lynx.
Thanks
Np
Hi Vega
Hi, @timber pulsar.
Dw, you'll get the hang of it
You a good person
Thx, at least I know I'm bad at my job
Nah I'm jk, I'll do that joke every once in awhile
!dadjoke
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.
!dadjoke
How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
!dadjoke
I won an argument with a weather forecaster once. His logic was cloudy...

!pug
!userinfo Ah22783
!userinfo xenodeath
!userinfo doomdouche93
!userinfo
!dadjoke
What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend? She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all.


!cat
!pug
!cat
Doomguy was an absolute legend for saving Vega in 2016
!dog
!cat
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!dadjoke
What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-tastrophe.
!cat
!dadjoke
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
!dadjoke
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!dadjoke
Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate.
!cat
!cat
!space
Something went wrong.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!membercount
132935
!dynoav
!space
Something went wrong.
!dynoav
!rps
Description: Play Rock Paper Scissors with the bot
Cooldown: 5 seconds
Usage:
!rps [choice]
Example:
!rps rock
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
Yay
Hi vega
Hi, @rose sphinx.
!dadjoke
Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate.
!dadjoke
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?"
!space
!dynoav
Hey, nice pfp
Can i beat the shit out of this AI?
No, never hurt vega, or Daisy for that matter
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!dog
Huh??!!!!!
!cat
!hat
!dadjoke
What do you get hanging from Apple trees? Sore arms.
!dadjoke
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATH!!
!pug
!randomcolor
!dog
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!membercount
132994
!membercount
133005
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!pug
!dadjoke
Every night at 11:11, I make a wish that someone will come fix my broken clock.
!cat
!dadjoke
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!rps DOOM_Players
You chose Doom_players.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!rock
!dadjoke
To the guy who invented zero... thanks for nothing.
!dadjoke
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.
!cat
!dog
!cat
!dadjoke
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!pug
!dog
!cat
!cat
!dadjoke
My sea sickness comes in waves.
!67
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!darthvader
!cat
!cat
!dadjoke
A girl once asked me what my heart desired, apparently blood, oxygen and neural messages were all wrong answers
Hi vega
Hi, @timber pulsar.
!dog
HI Vega
Hi, @stiff brook.
!cat
!cat
!dadjoke
I won an argument with a weather forecaster once. His logic was cloudy...
Hi, @floral otter.
!pug
!dadjoke
It's difficult to say what my wife does, she sells sea shells by the sea shore.
!dadjoke
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
!dadjoke
What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High definition.
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!cat
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!dadjoke
People are shocked to discover I have a police record but I love their greatest hits!
!space
Something went wrong.
!membercount
133271
!dadjoke
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
!pug
!dadjoke
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Thanks for all the sediment.
thanks for the sediment shaped sediment. hm. hm
!cat
!dog
!pug
!cat
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!dadjoke
Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
!cat
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
!dadjoke
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!dog
!dadjoke
What do I look like? A JOKE MACHINE!?
That's actually funny ngl
!dadjoke
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.
ok
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Scissors.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!cat
My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home.
Huh
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!pug
!cat
!dog
!dadjoke
!cat
!dog
!pug
!dadjoke
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!pug
!dadjoke
A boy dug three holes in the yard. When his mother saw, she exclaimed: "well, well, well"
!demon
!cat
!dadjoke
I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!dog
!dadjoke
I've just written a song about a tortilla. Well, it is more of a rap really.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!space
!pug
!dog
!cat
Something went wrong.
!cat
Try to ask it for commands
!help
Alr, if you type !help, you can get a list of commands
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
Hi Vega
Hi, @rocky cove.
!cat
!pug
!dadjoke
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
!space
Something went wrong.
!dog
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!dynoav
!dadjoke
How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed? Your head hits the ceiling!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!randomcolour
!dadjoke
What do you do when you see a space man?
Park your car, man.
!dadjoke
What did one nut say as he chased another nut? I'm a cashew!
!randomcolor
!dog
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
Oh? Nvm lol its not a set pattern
!dog
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!dadjoke
What do you call corn that joins the army? Kernel.
!dadjoke
What do you call two guys hanging out by your window? Kurt & Rod.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!hayden
!dadjoke
‘Put the cat out’ … ‘I didn’t realize it was on fire
!cat
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!pug
!dadjoke
There are two types of people in this world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data...
!space
Something went wrong.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!help
Hi, @fervent haven.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!dog
!shoot a hole
!space
!cat
!cat
!cat
!dog
!pug
!dog
Majestic
!pug
!dadjoke
How many seconds are in a year?
12.
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc
!dog
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
yay bot is alive again
Hi, @fervent haven.
half the commands seem to be back but not all
Other servers are having issues too
!dynoav lm_612
!dog
!dadjoke
Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!serverinfo
jasonthegamer
133,643
14
11
48
8
Head Administrator, Administrators, Moderators, Dyno, ModMail, Bethesda, id Software, Special Guest, Creators, Sentinels, Bots, Muted, Ban List Access, @everyone
!userinfo 647871234306080769
Just a regular
!pug
Always so squishy lol
Nah, just cat, dog, and pug
!userinfo
ah
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!dadjoke
I made a belt out of watches once... It was a waist of time.
!whois lm_612
@unique remnant
Sat, May 18, 2024 5:47 AM
Sun, Mar 24, 2024 5:16 PM
<@&162901871168585728> <@&587957370920108043>
Manage Roles, Manage Messages, Manage Nicknames, Manage Emojis and Stickers, Kick Members, Ban Members, Mention Everyone, Timeout Members
Server Moderator
!space
Something went wrong.
!dog
!space
Something went wrong.
It never really works, I've seen it work once
Sometimes it does. I won't stop trying
!dadjoke
I got an A on my origami assignment when I turned my paper into my teacher
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!space
!membercount
133650
!cat
!dog
!dadjoke
Shout out to my grandma, that's the only way she can hear.
!cat
!pug
!dadjoke
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.
!cat
hi@minor dawn
hi vega
Hi, @unique remnant.
Hi vega slay the heretic
Hi, @ionic compass.
Slay thyn heretic
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!dog
bot is down for now @fervent haven
In the Dyno server they posted it's down in all the servers
Sad
!cat
So still not working?
nope
Damn
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!dadjoke
Without geometry life is pointless.
!pug
!dog
!cat
!space
Something went wrong.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!pug
!cat
!dog
!cat
Damn
😭 yeah Dyno's been down all day
Oof
!cat
Damn still down
!cat
Still down sadge
!cat
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!pug
!dadjoke
A Skeleton walked into a bar he said I need a beer and a mop
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!cat
!space
Something went wrong.
!membercount
133770
!dadjoke
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup. Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup.
!space
North Pacific, you can type the coordinates into Google maps, it's fun to see
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!dadjoke
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!space
!distance
Invalid coordinates, please provide two coordinate pairs. See distance help for more info.
!distance help
Description: Get the distance between two sets of coordinates
Cooldown: 3 seconds
Usage:
!distance [coords] [coords]
Example:
!distance 51.295978,-1.104938 45.407692,2.4415
!distance 50.0164,174.2929 51.5465,78.4422
50.0164, 174.2929
51.5465, 78.4422
6274.05
!dog
!cat
Hi vega
Hi, @cerulean girder.
!dog
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Scissors.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Paper.
Paper wins!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
!dadjoke
Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.
!dadjoke
I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
!dadjoke
What did the piece of bread say to the knife? Butter me up.
!dadjoke
If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
!dadjoke
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon? They will give you a piece of your mind.
!dadjoke
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long
!dadjoke
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash.
!dadjoke
What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1
!dadjoke
Whats a penguins favorite relative? Aunt Arctica.
!dadjoke
A Sandwich walks into a bar, the bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve food here”
!dadjoke
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles.
!dadjoke
Two guys walked into a bar, the third one ducked.
!dadjoke
What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash.
!dadjoke
Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
!dadjoke
What do you call a pile of cats? A Meowtain.
!dadjoke
what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? a labracadabrador
!dadjoke
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
!dadjoke
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
!dadjoke
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
!dadjoke
Have you ever seen fruit preserves being made? It's jarring.
!dadjoke
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy. How low can you go?
!dadjoke
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
!dadjoke
Where do rabbits go after they get married? On a bunny-moon.
!dadjoke
A doll was recently found dead in a rice paddy. It's the only known instance of a nick nack paddy wack.
!dadjoke
What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.
!dadjoke
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.
!dadjoke
Guy told me today he did not know what cloning is. I told him, "that makes 2 of us."
!dadjoke
Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.
!dadjoke
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
!dadjoke
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”.
“Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
!dadjoke
What did the beaver say to the tree? It's been nice gnawing you.
!dadjoke
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!
!dadjoke
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
!dadjoke
What kind of music do mummy's like? Rap
!dadjoke
A beekeeper was indicted after he confessed to years of stealing at work. They charged him with emBEEzlement
!dadjoke
What do you get when you cross a pig and a pineapple? A porky pine
!cat
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Scissors.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!pug
Hi vega
Hi, @cerulean girder.
!dog
!black German shepherd
!space
Something went wrong.
! German shepherd
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!space
Rock paper scissors
!rps
Description: Play Rock Paper Scissors with the bot
Cooldown: 5 seconds
Usage:
!rps [choice]
Example:
!rps rock
!rps
Description: Play Rock Paper Scissors with the bot
Cooldown: 5 seconds
Usage:
!rps [choice]
Example:
!rps rock
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Rock.
Paper wins!
!cat
!pug
!dog
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
!space
Yo vega who would win you or jarvis?
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!dadjoke
Camping is intense.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles. Because there’s a mile between the two S’s.
!cat
!dog
!space
!pug
!dog
Hello Vega
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!cat
!dadjoke
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!cat
!dog
!bunny
!dog
!pug
!dadjoke
Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!cat
hi vega
Hi, @wraith maple.
dsd
!dadjoke
Did you hear about the runner who was criticized? He just took it in stride
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Scissors.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!pug
!space
!membercount
133894
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!dadjoke
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
!space
Something went wrong.
!dog
!pug
!cat
!space
!distance 14.0132,83.9881 31.1017,114.4572
14.0132, 83.9881
31.1017, 114.4572
3682.99
!cat
!dadjoke
Velcro… What a rip-off.
!userinfo LM_612
@unique remnant
Sat, May 18, 2024 5:47 AM
Sun, Mar 24, 2024 5:16 PM
<@&162901871168585728> <@&587957370920108043>
Manage Roles, Manage Messages, Manage Nicknames, Manage Emojis and Stickers, Kick Members, Ban Members, Mention Everyone, Timeout Members
Server Moderator
!userinfo VEGA
@minor dawn
Mon, May 17, 2021 9:00 PM
Sun, Jul 22, 2018 10:48 PM
<@&843956170800758826> <@&169923564806340608>
Administrator, Manage Server, Manage Roles, Manage Channels, Manage Messages, Manage Webhooks, Manage Nicknames, Manage Emojis and Stickers, Kick Members, Ban Members, Mention Everyone, Timeout Members
Server Admin
A Real Dyno
!pug
!dog
!cat
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!cat
!pug
!cat
!dog
!dynoav
!randomcolor
!randomcolor
!randomcolor
!space
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Rock.
Rock wins!
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Scissors.
Rock wins!
!randomcolor
!cat
!dadjoke
What do you do when you see a space man?
Park your car, man.
!randomcolor
!dadjoke
What kind of music do mummy's like? Rap
!dadjoke
A magician was driving down the street and then he turned into a driveway.
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Scissors.
Scissors win!
!dadjoke
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
!randomcolor
!dadjoke
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Scissors.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!rps paper
You chose Paper.
I choose Paper.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!dog
!rps rock
You chose Rock.
I choose Rock.
It's a tie! Please choose another.
!randomcolor
!dadjoke
!space
!cat
!dadjoke
I tried taking some high resolution photos of local farmland, but they all turned out a bit grainy.
!dadjoke
What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
!dadjoke
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
!dadjoke
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
!dadjoke
A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
!cat
!dadjoke
Some people eat light bulbs. They say it's a nice light snack.
!dadjoke
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night!
Hi Vega
Hi, @fervent haven.
!dadjoke
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? Because it's bound to squeal.
!dadjoke
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything.
!randomcolor
!dadjoke
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?"
!dadjoke
"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."
!dadjoke
My wife is on a tropical fruit diet, the house is full of stuff. It is enough to make a mango crazy.
!dog
!pug
!cat
!rps scissors
You chose Scissors.
I choose Paper.
Scissors win!
!randomcolor





