2022 intro captions

[obtuse chasm]

"I'm waiting for your captions"

[jaunty merlin]

"hErE i CoMe MaX"

[sinful roost]

"get shit on"

[twilit umbra]

"I have rich dad" (says it in a deep voice)

[obtuse chasm]

"I washed my clothes"

[nova hull]

"they don't know I'm famous"

[twilit umbra]

"I know what you did last night"

[unique night]

"so you're a little bit of a cheeky bastard huh???"

[nova hull]

"maybe"

[obtuse chasm]

"hi what u guys up to, im new here"

[twilit umbra]

"Welcome to motorsport kid, call me big dick"

[unique night]

"you'll have to go through me before you meet them. im lewis"

[sinful roost]

its britney bitch

[nova hull]

"do you know that I have a girlfriend"

[sinful roost]

🧢

[unique night]

[obtuse chasm]

"Stay off the kid lewis, those are team orders"

[twilit umbra]

"There's team orders?"

[obtuse chasm]

"Yeah, but we don't do those, they're crazy."

[sinful roost]

"why am i here"

[nova hull]

"you thought I was gonna be all smiley, didn't ya"

[obtuse chasm]

"Yeah i thought so, but i still got Fernandino on my side"

[twilit umbra]

"Why didn't you smile? I thought you were happy"

[sinful roost]

"im not high i swear"

[sharp shore]

Congrats @sinful roost, you're now on lap 25

[nova hull]

"ok"

[unique night]

"you don't know what my great masterplan is... mercedes will fall!"

[twilit umbra]

"Thanks 2nd dad"

[unique night]

"i need to shit so badly"

[nova hull]

"Man, should I apply for ferrari yet"

[sinful roost]

hahah i beat u

[obtuse chasm]

"Happy? Of course im happy! And you have no reason to be happy too after i kick your ass again. Simply simply lovely."

[unique night]

what

[sinful roost]

"im so good"

[unique night]

[nova hull]

"oh fuck, I forgot my taxes"

[sinful roost]

no i mean thats the vibe im getting there LMAO

[unique night]

oh

LMAO

[twilit umbra]

"I'll stick a wheel up when we race in austria just you know"

[sinful roost]

"get my good side"

[obtuse chasm]

"Consistent backmarker as rookie. I'm, still jealous."

[unique night]

"lewis, when i get the chance, im gonna spin you out! and you're gonna like it!"

[sinful roost]

"inspector seb reporting for duty"

[nova hull]

"mom said I can compete with the old drivers now"

[twilit umbra]

"I wish i had a functioning gearbox"

[sinful roost]

"she took half of my money and the kids"

[obtuse chasm]

"You won't even get to him if i spin you off the podium places."

[unique night]

"don't do it again lewis, he's too young"

[sinful roost]

"u like me hair cut :DDD"

[nova hull]

"she promised to play league of legends with me"

[sinful roost]

"Mexican Minister of Defense"

[obtuse chasm]

"All you needed to do was abort the fastest lap attempt. Look where you are now."

[sinful roost]

LMFAO

[unique night]

"why do you look so damn ugly?"

[obtuse chasm]

"You're a legend. Absolute animal."

[twilit umbra]

"Lewis as a former spanish minister of defence in hungary, i will let max win again

[sinful roost]

why u balding

"am go for 8th with my porpoise"

[obtuse chasm]

"Bro why so toxic 😭"

[unique night]

"lewis you do realize that he's been ignored for multiple years now right? he never gets a chance at anything"

[obtuse chasm]

"Porpoising? U still got that?"

[sinful roost]

Lewis Hamilton Larbalesteir, the most white name on the track. ironic.

[obtuse chasm]

"Wait, he never told me th-"

[twilit umbra]

"Keep talking about that porpoising, i'll crash again in abu dhabi"

[nova hull]

"can I pay you guys in robux?"

[sinful roost]

"wait i can get in trouble for something my country does?"

[unique night]

"latifi! now you're going too far with that nutella of yours"

[sinful roost]

L M A O

[twilit umbra]

"Yuki we have minecraft"

[obtuse chasm]

"Remember when you cried in the cooldown room? You wanted Lewis to win but you screwed it up at the same time."

[sinful roost]

"I'm the real anime character"

[obtuse chasm]

"But do u have realms too?"

[unique night]

"you have minecraft? :0"

[sinful roost]

"merc was sandbagging??"

[twilit umbra]

"You complained about it in twitter, stay mad"

[obtuse chasm]

"Minecraft is for block people like David Coulthard, come let's play some iRacing Lando."

[unique night]

"cope"

[nova hull]

"She asked friendship or relationship, I said championship"

[twilit umbra]

"Iracing? Nah let's play golf instead"

[obtuse chasm]

"But..."

[obtuse chasm]

"Oh im in now, gonna kick ur ass"

[sinful roost]

"u wanna play fortnite?"

[nova hull]

"he don't know I'm into it"

[unique night]

"ok sure, carlos. i'll beat you this time!"

[twilit umbra]

"Carlos when is our next tennis game"

[nova hull]

"anyone's got a spare car I can use"

[sinful roost]

"mazegone hahaha"

[obtuse chasm]

"Watch out, lewis will slip you off the golf podium 😂"

[twilit umbra]

"You need to taste this chocolate syrup lance is so good"

[unique night]

"not if i can say anything about that"

[nova hull]

"guys, that's not how you eat sushi"

[sinful roost]

"welcome to mcdonalds"

[unique night]

"shut up yuki, let me eat my sushi"

[twilit umbra]

"Is your ice cream machine working?"

[obtuse chasm]

"Bro charles werent u meant to say kfc"

[twilit umbra]

proceeds to eat sushi using a fork

[sinful roost]

"you look like ur from baskin robbins"

[nova hull]

"but I said I liked personality"

[unique night]

"can i please have my big mac, ive been waiting for 5 minutes now"

[sinful roost]

HE HAS TO GIVE THAT BACK

[twilit umbra]

"Because i AM from baskin robbins and i'm asking if your ice cream machine is working"

[nova hull]

"sure kid, you can have one when you grow up"

[obtuse chasm]

"You skipped the queue, didnt i say that ALL THE TIME YOU HAVE TO LEAVE A SPACE!?"

[sinful roost]

no, but ur moms was last night

[twilit umbra]

"Sorry fernando but there was a gap you close to soon"

[unique night]

"you don't have an orange army + ratio + washed + cope"

[nova hull]

"dad said he was gonna return right after he got the milk"

[obtuse chasm]

"Wasnt that the case at silverstone too?"

[obtuse chasm]

"and what did he do after that?"

[nova hull]

"that's what she said"

[unique night]

"what the hell is a space. i don't know how to do wheel-to-wheel driving"

[nova hull]

"but I went for the space, not his rear wing"

[twilit umbra]

"Yes he did, what an embarrassment to senna"

[unique night]

"yuki do you have anything other to do than crack bad jokes?"

[obtuse chasm]

"Equal engines for everyone?"

[twilit umbra]

"Its been 4 years since your last monaco win, how's that for a joke"

[nova hull]

"Yes, my homework"

[obtuse chasm]

"What a yoke!"

[unique night]

"says the one who crashes into people every other race"

[twilit umbra]

"Hey man its always traffic paradise"

[unique night]

"you cheeky bastard... you take that back!"

[nova hull]

"they don't know I'm the one who crashes"

[unique night]

"what's the problem here?"

[twilit umbra]

"Hey max i got a joke, space"

[obtuse chasm]

"Or the one that bribes for someone to crash"

[unique night]

"ok lewis now you're talking bullshit, he wasn't paid to win the championship was he?"

[nova hull]

"yeah sure "I" did that"

[obtuse chasm]

"YES HE DID IT WAS UNFAIR, UNBELIEVABLE!"

[nova hull]

"guys can we all just be friends"

[twilit umbra]

"I pushed you into a gravel at austria last year, are we still friends?"

[obtuse chasm]

"Well you said you didnt respect me so who needs to change?"

[unique night]

"im out of this conversation this is getting too wacky for me"

[nova hull]

"I can't think anymore"

[obtuse chasm]

"Did u push me too"

[unique night]

"i hope the next time you drive in the wet you slide like you did in sochi 2021"

[twilit umbra]

"I mistaken you for a mercedes, pls forgive me"

[nova hull]

"guys please don't ever close this thread"

[sinful roost]

"my wife left me and took everything"

[unique night]

"ratio"

[obtuse chasm]

"Valtteri, it's James. Please rejoin the conversation and defend Hamilton."

[nova hull]

[twilit umbra]

"James its Valterri, fuck you"

[obtuse chasm]

"You what? Argh, i don't care anymore"

[twilit umbra]

"Don't forget you didn't leave me any space that's why we crash"

[unique night]

💀

[obtuse chasm]

"Don't worry my old friend, there is enough rivalry and controversy for this thread to close."

[twilit umbra]

"How does it feel to lose to a gp2 engine"

[obtuse chasm]

"Traditions"

[obtuse chasm]

"KARMA!"

[unique night]

"what the hell valtteri. you're better than this"

[nova hull]

"you like me?"

[twilit umbra]

"Lewis, i'm a changed man now pls complain about your tyres elsewhere

[obtuse chasm]

"Give him a chance old man. He's been stuck under your rule for five years and now he can break free."

[unique night]

"bono, my respect for valterri is gone"

[obtuse chasm]

"Well they were on your car and his (mine) were on your car!"

[nova hull]

"they said driving was easy"

[twilit umbra]

"Good luck giving team orders to russell aka Rosberg V2"

[obtuse chasm]

"It's easy to follow team orders so i can win. That's what i said"

[unique night]

"you don't have any wdcs + ratio + no orange army + washed"

[nova hull]

"yes but who asked?"

[obtuse chasm]

"Look, you have no orange army either. Those are mclaren fans with your name on their shirts and flags."

[twilit umbra]

"I"

[unique night]

"i did. im the one who asked. i know your secrets, max"

[obtuse chasm]

"Lance, don't bother them. Go back and ask your father for the new f1 manager game. By the way, not the entire franchise this time!"

[twilit umbra]

"I paid you to be on my team so i can say whatever i want"

[unique night]

"lance you sound like an idiot right now"

[obtuse chasm]

"Look, i may be on your dads team but neither you nor your father have as much experience in f1. My four titles are over there on the closet."

[twilit umbra]

"Says the guy whose father is bias towards other drivers"

[unique night]

"and what about me? i have more experience, and wdcs than you seb. beat that"

[fresh tulip]

i forgor to shave

[unique night]

"shut up valterri nobody cares"

[obtuse chasm]

"You only had one when i won my four. But your bribery with Toto made me lose out on another two or three."

[fresh tulip]

like how nobody cared when you changed your name

[obtuse chasm]

"Good one bro, you've been a cool guy since you left merc"

[unique night]

"what the fuck did you say about my surname?"

[twilit umbra]

"You're in a ditched ferrari my boi be prepared to get lapped"

[fresh tulip]

ye

[fresh tulip]

its stupid lobster

[fresh tulip]

how about get ditched by my netflix ass

[obtuse chasm]

"Lapped? You might have kept my biggest rival away from podiums but imma stop you with that one."

[unique night]

"you're gonna regret everything valterri. the end is near for you"

[obtuse chasm]

"bro dont let me choke im dying of laughter"

[twilit umbra]

"Its so funny how we can trick you with team orders so soft"

[fresh tulip]

yeah right see u when u get lapped by zhou

[unique night]

"what rivalry do we even have? you're not even close to me in terms of skill"

[fresh tulip]

i did it so that u wouldnt look so fucking slow

[obtuse chasm]

"I have outqualified you in Monaco last year, with a b-team car."

[unique night]

"see here's the thing. you may have out qualified me, but i always win the race"

[twilit umbra]

"lmao like you couldn't guard verstappen"

[unique night]

"ok so who won last year?"

[obtuse chasm]

"You mean close to your car. Let's see how many points you can get with equal engines for everyone!"

[fresh tulip]

because u are so shit that i need to slow down purposely so that i dont bring shame into ur family

[obtuse chasm]

"Bro u ended 7th 😂"

[twilit umbra]

"You may won the championship this time max but now its really hammertime"

[unique night]

"fernando you made me lost because you defended too hard in 07. i had my chance at winning the wdc, but you made kimi win. el plan doesn't even work for you because it'll never happen again"

[obtuse chasm]

"Bwooooaaaahhhh..."

[unique night]

"lewis what the hell has gotten into you man... your superiority complex is really screwing you up"

[twilit umbra]

"Shut up albon if you picked a better line or slow down you wouldn't get hit

[obtuse chasm]

"I feel really sorry for you Alex that you were racing him."

[twilit umbra]

Oof wrong reply lmao

[unique night]

"it's alright. at least he won't rear end me this time, im far away from him"

[fresh tulip]

u are colorblind,i am white not white

[obtuse chasm]

"One day you will be too far ahead for him to catch you. Your career has only just begun."

[twilit umbra]

"Shut up you're not my teammate no more, now go eat your porridge or do a coffee contest or smth

[unique night]

"thanks for your words of encouragement seb, i really appreciate it"

[fresh tulip]

I AM GONNA EAT A BARBEQUE IN FRONT OF YOUR GARAGE,ONLY MEAT

[obtuse chasm]

"Wait but why are you mad at Mr Bottas?"

[twilit umbra]

"Just because i'm vegan that doesn't mean i'm offended of other people eating meat"

[unique night]

"he's a bad teammate, plus he didn't defend verstappen enough. he wanted me to lose the wdc"

[fresh tulip]

I AM GONNA FORCEFULLY FEED YOU

[obtuse chasm]

"Why did he need to defend in the first place?"

[unique night]

"that's not even true, lewis. even i know that valterri was unlucky for a lot of the races"

[twilit umbra]

"ok"

[fresh tulip]

HABE FUN

[twilit umbra]

"Good luck walmart kimi"

[unique night]

"it's my dream to win 8 wdcs and break schumachers record. unfortunately valterri didn't cooperate and wanted me to lose"

[obtuse chasm]

"Don't be mad it's just a hobby for him too"

[obtuse chasm]

"If you want the wdc so bad then earn it yourself."

[unique night]

"shut up kimi, go back to your yacht in monaco"

[twilit umbra]

"The 2021 season is part of het plan, i should've known"

[obtuse chasm]

"Mwoah, ill just stick here as long as it's fun'

[unique night]

"carlos, you're not even a wdc contender. the tifosi will be disappointed once again"

[obtuse chasm]

"You're yet to smell the rear of my F1-75 old man."

[twilit umbra]

"Time to scan the mercedes rear wing"

[unique night]

"as if that'll happen. you guys are so good at disappointing people, it's even apart of your job description"

[obtuse chasm]

"Yo hold on, im in too, but just, don't touch it"

[unique night]

"don't touch it, or i'll fine you a billion dollars"

[twilit umbra]

"Just like what you mercedes boys did 7 years ago"

[unique night]

"seb, you're gonna regret everything. don't touch it."

[obtuse chasm]

"Everyone already knows that Ferrari is back on top this year, mister sand bag."

[obtuse chasm]

"I'm not into regretting 25 quid"

[twilit umbra]

"Charles here's a task for you, finish monaco"

[unique night]

"oh sure, i might be mister sandbag, but at least i have more wdcs then you. also, you can't even qualify at monaco because you keep crashing into the corner"

[obtuse chasm]

"I have learnt from the gearbox issues, just wait"

[obtuse chasm]

"So that's why you wanted the eighth one as well.. Just to tell the young stars that you have the most wdcs out of all drivers in history.."

[twilit umbra]

"Just wait? I thought you want to make ferrari great again"

[obtuse chasm]

"Dad has his money ready."

[unique night]

"you have learned nothing, charles. you are as big of a disappointment as your tifosi have been for years now"

[obtuse chasm]

"I know Carlos but i can't shove Monaco to this weekend."

[twilit umbra]

"You're so lucky we don't have mazepin paying our taxes rn"

[unique night]

"you'll never match my skill level, pierre. you won monza 2020, but can you win 7 wdcs? i don't think so. now shut it"

[obtuse chasm]

'You are a bigger disappointment after losing a wdc.'

[twilit umbra]

"You can actually win a race but you can't cope with the pressure when rb promoted you"

[unique night]

"as if you would know how to win a race, lance"

[obtuse chasm]

"Who's the one who earned his championships by bribing stewards not to give you any penalties? Oh no, was that a Mercedes secret?"

[obtuse chasm]

"THAT'S ENOUGH VALTTERI LEAVE HIM ALONE 😭😭"

[unique night]

"i didn't bribe anyone, you're just jealous that you can't even win a wdc"

[obtuse chasm]

"As if you would know how to win a race fairly, Lewis."

[unique night]

"and i have enough money in this goddamn world to buy a wdc. i don't do that though, because i'm not a person who does that. also,"

[twilit umbra]

"Multi map 2-1"

[unique night]

"lewis you're delusional, you have to stop now"

[obtuse chasm]

"ENOUGH NOW! STOP SPEAKING ABOUT YOUR WDCS LEWIS, THERE WILL NOW BE EQUAL ENGINES FOR EVERYONE!"

[unique night]

"EL PLAN WILL NEVER WORK! YOUR FANS ARE DELUSIONAL!"

[twilit umbra]

"I agree, after moving from F2 i think F1 should have equal cars as well"

[unique night]

"what is this shitshow anymore..."

[obtuse chasm]

"Fernando and I made our alternative plan too. It's called Der Plan.

[twilit umbra]

"Shut up year 4 monaco winner"

[obtuse chasm]

"Does F2 have equal engines?"

[unique night]

"DER PLAN AND EL PLAN WILL NEVER WORK! THEY'RE JUST THEORIES THAT YOU'LL DOMINATE AGAIN, BUT IT'LL NEVER WORK BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU ARE WASHED!"

[twilit umbra]

"Let's see about that ham sandwich"

[obtuse chasm]

"They're not just theories for Seb and Fernando to dominate. They're strategies for everyone but you and George to dominate."

[unique night]

"say, im interested in this. can i make my own plan too?"

[obtuse chasm]

"Exactly! KARMA!"

[unique night]

"says the 2 time wdc winner..."

[twilit umbra]

"You already did last year"

[unique night]

"i want to do it again"

[obtuse chasm]

"You can, Max. Just come and pay a visit to our (Fernando, Seb, Valtteri and me) strategy base and explain Het Plan."

[twilit umbra]

"Not this time mate"

[obtuse chasm]

"Who are you trying to stop, you traitor"

[unique night]

"george, you're the future of mercedes. but you must defend me now, as they MUST fail to get a wdc. DO IT NOW GEORGE!"

[obtuse chasm]

"If you can't, let George win the wdc"

[twilit umbra]

"Defend you? I'm winning this wdc today and i won't let everyone stop me including you and james"

[obtuse chasm]

"That's the spirit George."

[unique night]

"i made you a mixture of copium and kool-aid. it's called cope-aid. drink some, cause you won't stop crying about you losing once to me"

[unique night]

"don't let me make you a valterri 2.0"

[twilit umbra]

"Make me"

[obtuse chasm]

"lol u gonna be valtteri 2.0"

[unique night]

"(shit... im cornered by everyone else here...)"

[unique night]

"why don't you shut up and drive?"

[twilit umbra]

"Good luck winning number 8 lewis you know all of us will stop you from doing it cause schumacher is the real goat"

[unique night]

"he said it himself... 'records are meant to be broken'. THAT MEANS I. MUST. BREAK. THE. RECORD."

"and i'm gonna push myself even higher than before. no more 1 minute gaps. IM GOING FOR 5 MINUTE GAPS. I WILL LAP EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN MY PATH. NO ONE WILL STOP ME!"

[twilit umbra]

"Good luck mate, this time i'm the one sticking the wheel up"

[unique night]

"i'll just stick this middle finger up at you, max. your championship was unfair, the rules were bent in your favour"

[twilit umbra]

"Sounds like skill issue"

[unique night]

"good one max, good one. but weren't you the one the one who collided into lewis at monza?"

"SEE MAX? EVEN THE ONES WHO HATE ME STILL SIDE WITH ME BECAUSE I SPIT FACTS. I AM #BLESSED "

[twilit umbra]

"Yes but there was no space, so there was no choice"

"If you leave him a small space you all would go through turn 1 easily"

[unique night]

"it's true lewis, there was no space."

"MERCEDES WILL WIN AGAIN! ALL HAIL MERCEDES! "

[twilit umbra]

"You might triumph again in the constructors but i will win again"

[unique night]

"i don't even side with either of you."

"both of you are idiots arguing who will win, when in reality... i have a secret plan to ruin your reputation, lewis."

"whatever it is, it won't happen. you better watch your mouth, or i'll collide into you once again like i did for many races until you retire again"

[unique night]

"thanks mate, i'll join you guys soon. just have to eat something, im very hungry today"

[unique night]

why did this turn into a dts kinda thing

[obtuse chasm]

Loool true

[obtuse chasm]

"Pierre? Did you eat my sushi last night?"

'No Yuki. I did it on my dads money"

[twilit umbra]

"Suck my balls mate"

[nova hull]

"gladly"

[obtuse chasm]

"did someone call my name"