Create a Race (F1 Commentary)

[placid lagoon]

at the final corner

[woeful skiff]

I don’t know, Danny, all of us will find out

[placid lagoon]

and that won't help his chances

[woeful skiff]

But he only has 3 opportunities left

[placid lagoon]

alonso pressuring with that lockup, but still 3 seconds behind

leclerc is close to fernando now..

[woeful skiff]

FINAL LAP

Max has only one shot left at taking the fastest lap. If he doesn’t, Red Bull are in hot water tonight . . .

WINNER: CAR 3 ( RIC)

[placid lagoon]

Lap 50/50 🏁
RIC
VER
ALO
LEC
HAM
NOR
ALB
RUS
HÜL
PIA
BEA
DOO
TSU
PER
SAI
BOT
GAS
POU
SAR
LAW

[woeful skiff]

I just said final lap

[placid lagoon]

I wrote it and I didn't see your mag

msg*

it takes up my whole screen

mobile

[woeful skiff]

CAR 33 ( VER)

Verstappen’s done it! He’s stolen the fastest lap at the last opportunity, but he certainly won’t appreciate having to work for it that much.

We have a new championship leader at the top of the standings, as Hamilton is only 5th.

[placid lagoon]

Lap 50/50
RIC (+25)
VER (+19)
ALO (+15)
LEC (+12)
HAM (+10)
NOR (+8)
ALB (+6)
RUS (+4)
HÜL (+2)
PIA (+1)
BEA
DOO
TSU
PER
SAI
BOT
GAS
POU
SAR
LAW

(we aren't using the proposed pts system right)

[woeful skiff]

Yeah we’re not doing that

[placid lagoon]

sweet

[woeful skiff]

Alright I’m going to bed

[placid lagoon]

cya

[woeful skiff]

Standings and the next race will come tomorrow

[placid lagoon]

can I have the code before you go tho

ill do it for you

i have time

[woeful skiff]

1VO0QVPGL78

[placid lagoon]

thanks

[woeful skiff]

That’s for viewing

[placid lagoon]

oh ok

gn then 😤

[woeful skiff]

2025 Chinese Grand Prix

Q1 Eliminations
16. POU
17. BOT
18. SAR
19. BEA
20. SAI

Q2 Eliminations
11. GAS
12. DOO
13. HÜL
14. PER
15. ALO

Q3
4. VER
5. RIC
6. TSU
7. ALB
8. PIA
9. RUS
10. LAW

A rain affected qualifying sees only Hamilton, Norris, and Leclerc able to challenge pole position . . .

CAR 4 ( NOR)

Norris has taken his second career pole!

(Oh yeah sprints this year are in Zandvoort, Silverstone, Suzuka & Interlagos)

STARTING GRID

1. NOR
2. HAM
3. LEC
4. VER
5. RIC
6. TSU
7. ALB
8. PIA
9. RUS
10. LAW
11. GAS
12. DOO
13. HÜL
14. PER
15. ALO
16. POU
17. BOT
18. SAR
19. BEA
20. SAI

[placid lagoon]

Conditions
Weather - 🌧️
Duration - 15m
Recommended Tires -

[patent island]

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND A WAY WE GO!
Alonso has an incredible start and gets in front of his teammate and Nico Hulkenberg!
OH NO! LOGAN SARGEANT SPINS GOING INTO THE FIRST CORNER AND TAKES OUT BOTTAS AS WELL!

[woeful skiff]

Both of them are going again, but out in front, Norris tries to defend on the outside and slides off!

Hamilton takes the lead, but Norris is down in P6!

Uh oh, that’s not for Sargeant and Bottas as they’re back going, that’s for Russell and Piastri!

Piastri’s lost a wheel on track, and Russell’s front wing has slid into the Marshall post!

VIRTUAL SAFETY CAR

LAP 2/57
HAM
LEC
VER
RIC
ALB
NOR
TSU
LAW
DOO
ALO
HUL
GAS
PER
SAI
POU
BEA
SAR
BOT
PIA
RUS

Piastri and Russell are into the pits while the VSC is out.

Piastri has retired from the race, while Russell gets a new front wing and is gonna have to stage a remarkable comeback if he wants points.

LAP 3/57
HAM
LEC
VER
RIC
ALB
NOR
TSU
LAW
DOO
HUL
GAS
PER
ALO
SAI
POU
BEA
SAR
BOT
RUS
PIA

LAP 5/57

Rain expected to clear up in 8 minutes from now, approximated to 5.6 laps . . .

LAP 10/57
It’s stopped raining in the pitlane, but who knows when it’ll be the right time to go for the slicks?

LAP 13/57
📻 : Box, Jack.

Jack Doohan will be the first driver into the pit lane. We did see the Alpines vigorously remove all the water from the track . . .

LAP 14/57
HAM
LEC
VER
RIC
ALB
NOR
TSU
LAW
HUL
GAS
ALO
PER
SAI
POU
BEA
SAR
BOT
DOO
RUS
PIA

Russell has come into the pits as well. Both he and Doohan are now on the medium tires.

CAR 61 ( DOO)

WOW! Doohan is apparently making it work!

CAR 63 ( RUS)

And so is Russell!

Their fastest laps are almost 3 seconds faster than the inter tire runners!

LAP 15/57

An ABUNDANCE of cars are coming in for slicks! This is gonna change the running order greatly . . .

HAM
VER
ALB
DOO
NOR
TSU
RUS
LEC
GAS
ALO
HUL
PER
RIC
SAI
POU
BEA
SAR
BOT
LAW

LAP 16/57
Hamilton, Verstappen, Albon and Tsunoda are the last cars to pit, which means Jack Doohan leads the Chinese Grand Prix!

DOO
NOR
LEC
VER
HAM
ALB
RUS
RIC
HUL
ALO
SAI
GAS
TSU
PER
LAW
POU
BEA
SAR
BOT

Rain is expected in twenty laps, which may not be a good sign for Doohan . . .

LAP 18/57
NOR — 4.927 — DOO

LAP 20/57
NOR — 4.028 — DOO

LAP 23/57
NOR — 2.385 — DOO

Norris is slowly closing in on Doohan lap by lap . . .

LAP 26/57
NOR — 0.984 — DOO

He’s broken into his DRS range, and it’ll be at his disposal down the main straight . . .

LAP 27/57
Norris dives down the inside of Doohan, is he gonna do what Hamilton did to him? Norris takes the lead!

He pulls away by 0.729 seconds, and Doohan now has to worry about Charles Leclerc a further 9 seconds back.

RAIN FORECASTED LAP 35/57

[placid lagoon]

I was just gonna send that

[woeful skiff]

LAP 30/57
DOO — 7.836 — LEC

Doohan doesn’t have much to worry about then if he can keep the gap to Leclerc.

[placid lagoon]

but got muted for using a hashtag

lmao

⛈️
Rain in 6 minutes

here comes bearman on Pourchaire, drs wide open, and he's got him

bottas copies him by passing sargeant

[woeful skiff]

LAP 32/57

Ricciardo has been chasing the two Mercedes for a while now, into the penultimate corner, down the inside last week’s race winner goes for a double overtake!

LAP 34/57
The small droplets of water are now easing into the circuit . . .

[placid lagoon]

Hülkenberg pits!

onto lap 35

as rain pelts the track at sector 3

tsunoda follows him in aswell

everyone else continues

LAP 36/57
Hülkenberg is 2 seconds a lap faster than the cars ahead, who are struggling!

as now the top drivers all pit, but Hamilton and Russell stay out for one more lap

so does perez

[woeful skiff]

Oh sorry

[placid lagoon]

YELLOWS IN SECTOR 2 and that's SERGIO PEREZ

the slicks are not working for him

as he just spins and slides off at turn 8

[woeful skiff]

That’s in Imola.

[placid lagoon]

oh its china

[woeful skiff]

We’re in China.

[placid lagoon]

why was I thinking imola?

😭😭😭

SAFETY CAR

[woeful skiff]

What why

[placid lagoon]

he's in the gravel

he's out

[woeful skiff]

No he can get out

[placid lagoon]

💀💀💀

[woeful skiff]

He’s trundled back to the pits in dead last

[placid lagoon]

bro is anti dnf

never mind then

[woeful skiff]

Lemme do full order

LAP 38/57
NOR
DOO
LEC
HAM
VER
RIC
ALB
HUL
RUS
TSU
SAI
ALO
GAS
LAW
BEA
POU
BOT
SAR
PER

[placid lagoon]

PIA

DRS DEACTIVATED

(everyone is on inters right)

[woeful skiff]

Yes

[placid lagoon]

kk

ricciardo on verstappens tail now, albon within range aswell

three way fight for 5th

[woeful skiff]

LAP 40/57
LEC — 7.946 — DOO

[woeful skiff]

But Ricciardo may want to think about Verstappen, as he is leading the championship and could lose it today

[placid lagoon]

LAP 42/57
LEC — 5.871 — DOO

[woeful skiff]

Albon goes down the inside at the first hairpin, and Ricciardo blocks him!

Verstappen is able to form a 1 second gap!

[placid lagoon]

albon will try again on the back straight

the Mercedes with its great straight line speed SAILS DOWN THE INSIDE

they're necks into the hairpin

[woeful skiff]

Ricciardo is gonna brake late into the S3 entry, and is ahead by a nose cone!

VER
1.826
RIC
0.729
ALB

[placid lagoon]

LAP 44/57
LEC — 4.033 — DOO

📻 Rain is picking up, slipping a lot in (turn) 1

📻 Copy, this rain will only intensify for the next 15 minutes

📻 I think it's time for wets

📻 Copy, box box for wets

[woeful skiff]

Russell is now gonna drop to P12! Is this gamble worth it?

[placid lagoon]

he's catching up to sainz, and easily sails past on the outside with that extra grip!

[woeful skiff]

LAP 47/57
Leclerc is now one second behind Doohan, staying out of the spray, takes the inside line, and makes a move stick!

[placid lagoon]

📻 Box box nico, box box

[woeful skiff]

Now Doohan has to worry not only about the bad weather, but with Hamilton 5 seconds behind!

Nobody else is coming in thus far!

LAP 48/57
Now nearly half of the cars are coming in, but Norris is deciding to risk it!

[placid lagoon]

nico sails past gasly now and surely it's time for wets

LAP 48/57
NOR
LEC
DOO
HAM
LAW
BEA
POU
VER
TSU
RUS
HUL
RIC
ALB
SAI
ALO
GAS
BOT
SAR
PER
PIA

[woeful skiff]

LAP 49/57
Everyone’s coming in now bar Norris and Pérez! Norris now 18.723 seconds ahead of second placed Russell, who is three seconds ahead of Hülkenberg!

[placid lagoon]

russell is gaining nearly 3 seconds a lap, can Norris hold on?

[woeful skiff]

NOR
RUS
HÜL
LEC
HAM
DOO
VER
RIC
ALB
TSU

(I’ll do top 10 for now to save time)

[placid lagoon]

kk

[woeful skiff]

At this rate, Norris could lose the podium . . .

[placid lagoon]

as he slips wide at turn 1!

off the track, comes back on and JUST keeps first

but now Russell on the exit, look at that grip! he's into first

[woeful skiff]

LAP 53/57

RUS
HÜL
NOR

The Ferraris are only 5 seconds back!

📻 : Box, Lando.

Man, you would’ve thought after Sochi 2021 he would’ve learned, but now he’s not even gonna score points.

LAP 57/57

You can hear the cheers of the crowd - OH RUSSELL AND NICO SLIDE OFF!

THEY’VE AQUAPLANED AT TURN 1!

[placid lagoon]

LECLERC SLIDES OFF TOO

HAMILTON WIDE, ITS CHAOS

[woeful skiff]

LECLERC, HAMILTON AND HÜLKENBERG ARE THE TOP THREE IN S2!

BUT RUSSELL ISN’T MOVING!

[placid lagoon]

thanks wifi

sorry mate

that sent ages too late

[placid lagoon]

yay

[woeful skiff]

** WINNER: CAR 16 ( LEC) **

NICO HÜLKENBERG FINALLY GETS A PODIUM!

[placid lagoon]

Doohan takes 4th

ahead of russell, who managed to get going

[woeful skiff]

LEC
HAM
HÜL
DOO
RUS
VER
RIC
ALB
TSU
LAW
SAI
GAS
NOR
ALO
BEA
PER
POU
BOT
SAR
PIA

Hamilton retakes the championship lead

[placid lagoon]

what a moment for nico Hülkenberg, his first ever podium, 15 years since his debut

👏

[woeful skiff]

Too fucking long of a wait.

[placid lagoon]

Doohan in his debut season, an amazing p4

russell will be absolutely gutted

[woeful skiff]

Alright standings time

[placid lagoon]

also i see what you did with the cheers of the crowd

very clever

it's literally the gr63 curse

[woeful skiff]

8 different drivers have now stood on the podium this season.

[placid lagoon]

sainz slacking le mow

[gritty crystal]

Let’s make Lawson win

No way hulk got a podium

This is crazy

[placid lagoon]

he pulled a haas Canada 2024 but it actually worked

[placid lagoon]

2025 Emilia Romagna Grand Prix
Q1 Eliminations
16. ALO
17. GAS
18. BEA
19. BOT
20. POU

Alonso gets eliminated after going wide at Variance Alta

Q2 Eliminations
11. HUL
12. SAI
13. PER
14. SAR
15. DOO

Sargeant gets into Q2!

Q3
3. LEC
4. RIC
5. RUS
6. PIA
7. ALB
8. TSU
9. NOR
10. LAW

it's a direct shootout between Hamilton and Verstappen for pole...

🟩 S1 (HAM)
🟪 S1 (VER)

🟨 S2 (HAM)
🟩 S2 (VER)

🟪 S3 (HAM)
🟨 S3 (VER)

Lewis Hamilton is on pole for Ferrari!

a monstrous final sector sees the Brit clinch pole at their home race by 2 hundreths

[woeful skiff]

Not the first time

[placid lagoon]

mb

2025 Imola GP Starting Grid

1. HAM
2. VER
3. LEC
4. RIC
5. RUS
6. PIA
7. ALB
8. TSU
9. NOR
10. LAW
11. HUL
12. SAI
13. PER
14. SAR
15. DOO
16. ALO
17. GAS
18. BEA
19. BOT
20. POU

Conditions
Weather - ☁️

Duration - 15m

Tires -

⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY THEY GO

Verstappen gets a good start, he's alongside Lewis heading into turn 1

hamilton on the inside, MAX SQUEEZES THROUGH

contact in the back I think that's a Sauber

but they head through turn 3

[woeful skiff]

Yeah no rain this race

[placid lagoon]

leclerc attacking hamilton

lewis fends him off

Verstappen ahead of Hamilton ahead of Leclerc

then Russell ricciardo piastri and norris

[woeful skiff]

Looking back at the replay, both Kick Sauber cars collided into Tamburello

Hülkenberg is down a position

[placid lagoon]

sainz is beached in the gravel

and his race is done!

Virtual Safety Car

[woeful skiff]

He spun of at Piratella, and I suspect that’s from the damage from the contact

[placid lagoon]

the race is neutralized

LAP 2/63
VER
HAM
LEC
RUS
RIC
PIA
NOR
ALB
TSU
LAW
ALO
PER
SAR
DOO
BEA
GAS
BOT
POU
HUL
SAI

[woeful skiff]

63

[woeful skiff]

Hülkenberg has had to replace his front wing

[placid lagoon]

onto lap 3, the sauber has been cleared

Green Flag

and looks like Hamilton has gotten the jump on max

hustling him into the final corner

no drs on this lap but Lewis will try

(i gtg)

[woeful skiff]

Ok I’ll carry on for you

[woeful skiff]

Hamilton retakes the lead!

LAP 4/63
HAM
VER
LEC
RUS
RIC
PIA
NOR
ALB
TSU
LAW
ALO
PER
SAR
DOO
BEA
GAS
BOT
POU
HUL
SAI

[woeful skiff]

50 laps later . . .

LAP 54/63
HAM
VER
LEC
RUS
RIC
PIA
NOR
ALB
TSU
LAW
ALO
PER
HÜL
SAR
DOO
BEA
GAS
BOT
POU
SAI

Nothing has quite changed here.

WINNER: CAR 44 ( HAM)

CAR 63 ( RUS)

RESULTS
HAM
VER
LEC
RIC
RUS
PIA
NOR
ALB
TSU
LAW
ALO
PER
HÜL
SAR
DOO
BEA
GAS
BOT
POU
SAI

[placid lagoon]

brother fast traveled

quick simmed

it's Imola after all

2025 Canadian Grand Prix
**Q1 Eliminations: ⛈️ **
16. HAM
17. VER
18. GAS
19. DOO
20. PER

Three surprise eliminations in Q1, as both Hamilton and Verstappen struggled to warm their tires up and set a competitive laptime in torrential conditions. Perez, meanwhile, binned it on his opening lap and will start from the pitlane.

**Q2 Eliminations: 🌧️ **
11. LEC
12. TSU
13. BEA
14. POU
15. BOT

Leclerc spun on his final lap and failed to improve.

**Q3: 🌧️ / ☁️ **
4. PIA
5. RUS
6. ALB
7. HÜL
8. SAI
9. SAR
10. LAW

a 3 way fight for pole between ricciardo, Norris, and alonso

and Alonso takes it!

a superb lap sees him destroy norris' lap to snatch pole

2025 Canadian GP Starting Grid:

1. ALO
2. NOR
3. RIC
4. PIA
5. RUS
6. ALB
7. HÜL
8. SAI
9. SAR
10. LAW
11. LEC
12. TSU
13. BEA
14. POU
15. BOT
16. HAM
17. VER
18. GAS
19. DOO
    PIT. PER

Conditions:
Weather - ☀️

Duration - 2h

Tires -

[woeful skiff]

You absolutely COOKED!

[placid lagoon]

3..2..and 1..

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

alonso gets a good start, covers off Norris into turn 1

ricciardo, last of the late breakers, around the OUTSIDE

nabs p2 from norris

as a vcarb goes wide there

hamilton and verstappen have both made up places

to turn 3 we go, Russell is going to have a sniff at the mclarens and HE SHOOTS IT DOWN THE INSIDE

[gritty crystal]

Wait are yall making this shit up in the fly?

[placid lagoon]

yep

[gritty crystal]

Ok

[placid lagoon]

insert SpongeBob imagination gif

LAP 2/70
ALO
RIC
NOR
RUS
PIA
ALB
HÜL
SAI
SAR
LEC
TSU
HAM
BEA
VER
LAW
POU
BOT
GAS
DOO
PER

[patent island]

And Max Verstappen overtakes Oliver Bearman while Alonso already has a 2.5 second lead on Ricciardo!

[woeful skiff]

Meanwhile, Logan Sargeant gets past Carlos Sainz.

[woeful skiff]

https://tenor.com/view/spongebob-imagination-your-never-bored-when-you-have-gif-17180491

LAP 3/70
ALO
RIC
NOR
RUS
PIA
ALB
HÜL
SAR
SAI
LEC
TSU
HAM
VER
BEA
LAW
POU
BOT
GAS
DOO
PER

Verstappen is ever so slightly reducing the gap to Hamilton, but Hamilton is barely able to keep up with Tsunoda at the moment.

LAP 5/70
VER — 1.836 — HAM

LAP 8/70
VER — 0.749 — HAM

Verstappen is in Hamilton’s DRS now, and he’s 0.5 seconds behind as we head down the main straight

LAP 9/70
Verstappen tries a move on the inside at Turn 1! He keeps his nose cone ahead, but Hamilton dives further into turn 2!

Verstappen is gonna try a move into Turn 7, and doesn’t work it out! He’s still stuck behind Hamilton!

LAP 11/70
ALO
RIC
NOR
RUS
PIA
ALB
HÜL
LEC
SAR
SAI
TSU
HAM
VER
BEA
LAW
POU
BOT
GAS
DOO
PER

Verstappen’s gonna have another chance down the main straight, and they lock up into T1!

Hamilton and Verstappen rejoin the circuit, but are now fully distanced from Tsunoda & Bearman!

LAP 16/70
Leclerc has been making a good comeback so far, and is on Piastri’s rear for fifth! He goes down the inside at the hairpin but locks up slightly! Piastri evades the action and holds his place, but Leclerc gets enough DRS to power him down the main straight, and takes P5!

LAP 20/70
📻 : Do you think you can do Plan A or Plan B?

ALO: I would like to go to Plan A.

There are two possible strategies today, a two stopper or a one stopper. Could Alonso be going for the one stop?

LAP 22/70
📻 : Box, Danny.

Ricciardo will be coming in next lap!

LAP 23/70
Ricciardo makes his stop for the hards.

ALO
NOR
RUS
RIC (1)
LEC
ALB
HÜL
SAR
PIA (1)
SAI
TSU
HAM
VER
BEA
LAW
POU
BOT
GAS
DOO
PER

[woeful skiff]

LAP 29/30
📻 : Box, Fernando.

Alonso will be coming in soon, but in the meantime, Verstappen’s gonna try a move on Hamilton again in the first chicane! He nearly misses out and has to go a little wider than he wanted to.

LAP 30/70

Alonso enters the pitlane, he’s had a little bit of a lockup, AND HE HITS THE WALL!

His front suspension is broken!

He’s made it to his pit box, but his tire is hanging on by a thread!

The jackmen are trying to fix it, but there’s nothing they can do.

PIT LANE ENTRY CLOSED

And I imagine that’ll annoy the people who haven’t pit yet, including Leclerc.

[woeful skiff]

I stg if we’re gonna get a SC here

[neon heart]

Tsunoda goes wide in turn 10! He's managed to get back on track though, so we continue as normal.

[woeful skiff]

LAP 31/70
LEC
ALB
RIC (1)
NOR (1)

Leclerc and Albon come into the pitlane to serve their pit stops.

[neon heart]

📻 TSU: ----! Missed the corner there.

Sorry I interrrupted there

[woeful skiff]

LAP 37/70
RIC
NOR
RUS
LEC
ALB
PIA
SAI
HÜL
SAR
TSU
HAM
VER
LAW
POU
BEA
BOT
GAS
DOO
PER
ALO

LAP 38/70
CAR 4 (NOR)

LAP 45/70
Leclerc is slowly catching Russell, he’s gonna try a move in the hairpin, and puts his nose up the inside, but Russel blocks him off!

LAP 46/70
Now recently, we’ve been hearing rumors that Logan Sargeant could head to Aston Martin - AND IS THAT LECLERC? He’s made a move in Turn 5!

I’m sorry for not giving that enough commentary justice, because frankly I wasn’t expecting that. What a superb move on Russell!

The same can’t be said for Hamilton however, who is STILL having to fend off Verstappen and is slowly drafting away from Tsunoda.

LAP 53/70
LIVE DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP

1. LEC - 100
2. HAM - 90
3. VER - 84

[gritty crystal]

No way Leclerc winning

[woeful skiff]

Ok now I want everyone to leave this be for the next 7 minutes because I am gonna do something hilarious

[gritty crystal]

NOOOOOOOOO

PLEASE NO FRANCE 2022

[placid lagoon]

why would you do this

WHY

WHYYYY

😭😭😭😭😭

[woeful skiff]

I’m not gonna DNF anyone

It’s not even gonna be related to the race

[placid lagoon]

let him cook

i just wanna say boombox

thank you for reviving this

😤

[gritty crystal]

Oh good

[placid lagoon]

.no

[woeful skiff]

LAP 60/70
We’ve just gotten a consensus update on our timing board, and - HUH?

Aston Martin announces the arrival of Logan Sargeant? During the race?

@placid lagoon @gritty crystal take a look

[placid lagoon]

YES

that looks so legit

that isn't real right

[woeful skiff]

A very questionable move by the British outfit . . .

[placid lagoon]

😭

[woeful skiff]

Not real

[placid lagoon]

wait this gives me a great idea

dms

[woeful skiff]

WINNER: CAR 3 ( RIC)

RESULTS
RIC
NOR
LEC
RUS
ALB
PIA
SAI
HÜL
SAR
TSU
HAM
VER
LAW
POU
BEA
BOT
GAS
DOO
PER
ALO

A terrible race for Hamilton and Verstappen, both failing to score points.

[placid lagoon]

however, Logan sargeant gets williams' first points of the year!

[woeful skiff]

No, he got points in the season opener-

[placid lagoon]

wait he did?

ffs lmao

ignore

[gritty crystal]

YEEEA

[icy fern]

Aston Martin:

[woeful skiff]

Kick Sauber is now ahead of Aston Martin

💀

[woeful skiff]

2025 Dutch Grand Prix

SPRINT STARTING GRID
VER
HAM
RIC
LEC
NOR
RUS
ALO
ALB
LAW
BEA
BOT
PIA
POU
SAR
DOO
TSU
HÜL
SAI
PÉR
GAS

Alright this time I’m not gonna write the sprint

I’ll leave that up to you

[icy fern]

breaking:
ME to write the sprint

[gritty crystal]

Oh thank god stroll isn’t in the race

[icy fern]

See yknow how alonso retired from amr

Somethings gonna happen

Expect races to be held in around an hour.

[placid lagoon]

imma yoink the sprint rq

also we're doing the old sprint format where it determines your grid slot bc formula game companion is goofy

[placid lagoon]

this

[woeful skiff]

No

We’re doing 4 sprints this season including this race

[woeful skiff]

Ykw we will do the 2021 sprint format

[placid lagoon]

I'm yoinking THIS sprint

is what I'm saying

imma write it

[woeful skiff]

Oh you’re writing the sprint?

[placid lagoon]

i mean

he wants to but

hm

fine I'll play nice

[gilded pawn]

ima just get it started, yall do actual race

[icy fern]

no

[gilded pawn]

aw :(

[icy fern]

as a reminder due to chat flood

SPRINT STARTING GRID
VER
HAM
RIC
LEC
NOR
RUS
ALO
ALB
LAW
BEA
BOT
PIA
POU
SAR
DOO
TSU
HÜL
SAI
PÉR
GAS

Weather - 🌦️

Laps - 19

Tyres - ALL

https://tenor.com/view/f1-gif-24939062

AND IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!

LAP 1/19

IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD START FROM VERSTAPPEN

HAMILTON TRYING TO CHALLENGE

HERE COMES DANIEL RICCIARDO AND INTO TURN 1 WE GO

AND OH MY GOD THEYVE MADE CONTACT

RICCIARDO AND HAMILTON INTO TURN 1

HAMILTON INTO THE GRAVEL

RICCIARDO CARRIES ON BUT WITH DAMAGE

[placid lagoon]

VERSTAPPENS BEEN SPUN ROUND ASWELL

[icy fern]

AND IS THAT PERHAPS GEORGE RUSSELL IN THE GRAVEL TOO?

[placid lagoon]

leclerc into the lead ahead of russell

[icy fern]

NO TRICKO I THINK THATS GEORGE RUSSELL IN THE GRAVEL

THATS ALBON IN P2

[placid lagoon]

leclerc into the lead NOT ahead of russell

[icy fern]

LAWSONS JUMPED AHEAD OF ALONSO TOO!

[placid lagoon]

alonsos taken a trip through the gravel!

look at the dust on his tires

SAFETY CAR

hamilton and Russell OUT

[icy fern]

📻 :** " ARE YOU """" KIDDING ME THIS GUY! UNREAL! "**

📻 : "Box, Alex, Box."

An odd strategy call from Mercedes, pitting Albon for new softs!

[placid lagoon]

LEC
NOR
LAW
BEA
PIA
ALO
SAR
BOT
HÜL
TSU
POU
DOO
SAI
PER
GAS
VER
ALB (1)
RIC (1)

DNF:
RUS
HAM

[icy fern]

** **

[placid lagoon]

(it's a sc)

[icy fern]

yeah

thats why he has fastest lap

[placid lagoon]

😭😭😭

fairs lmaooo

lap 3 out of uh

um

[icy fern]

19

[placid lagoon]

LAP 3/19

[icy fern]

SC ENDING

[placid lagoon]

and leclerc goes early!

[placid lagoon]

Norris all over the back of him

down the straight

Lawson joining too...

[icy fern]

MEANWHILE BEHIND, HULKENBERG GETS PAST SARGEANT

AND IS THAT VERSTAPPEN

OH MY GOODNESS

A DOUBLE OVERTAKE

PEREZ AND GASLY STUNNED BY THEIR FORMER TEAMMATE

[placid lagoon]

but up front is what matters and LAWSON IS AHEAD OF NORRIS

UP INTO SECOND

the new upgrades working well for rb

plus a sprinkle of luck

[icy fern]

📻 7️⃣ : "Maybe soon time for slicks"

MEANWHILE AT THE BACK, ALBONS SLIDES OFF THE TRACK!

BEACHED IN THE GRAVEL IN A SAFE PLACE, NO SC NEEDED

ITS CLEAR IT WAS NOT TIME FOR SLICKS

[placid lagoon]

TERRIBLE WEEKEND FOR MERCEDES (thanks)

no sc but it's easing up

will anyone try the slicks?

[icy fern]

Meanwhile, Verstappen continues fighting up the field! He gets past Sainz!

📻: "Possible engine issue Carlos, we are checking."

[placid lagoon]

up ahead its piastri vs bearman vs Lawson vs Norris all for second

Lawson defending off Norris, BUT OLIVER BEARMAN SENDS IT

AND HES CLIPPED THE MCLAREN, HIS FRONT WING IS GONE

📻 PUNCTURE ARGHHH F*CK

Incident between NOR and BEA - Under Investigation

no sc needed thankfully!

[icy fern]

LAP 7/19

[placid lagoon]

and Verstappen has made further places

so has ricciardo

[icy fern]

Sargeant dips a wheel into the grass at turn 5 and goes off, cutting the chicane!

Unfortunate for him as he falls down to last.

** 10 SECOND TIME PENALTY - CAR 38 - CAUSING A COLLISION **

[placid lagoon]

📻: "Box box, retire the car.."

lemme update order

[icy fern]

📻 : "BOX FOR SLICKS."

It's a huge gamble for VCARB!

NOR

[placid lagoon]

LAP 8/19
LEC
BEA
PIA
ALO
BOT
HÜL
VER (1)
TSU
RIC (1)
POU
DOO
SAI
PER
GAS
SAR
LAW (1)
NOR (1)

DNF:
SAI
ALB
RUS
HAM

[icy fern]

sargeants last

well behind gasly

[placid lagoon]

oh right

[icy fern]

Meanwhile, we see Fernando Alonso trying to get past Oscar Piastri!

Into Turn 1 they go, and ALONSO MAKES THE MOVE!

PIASTRI LOSES OUT TO BOTTAS IN THE PROCESS!

[placid lagoon]

as bottas looks for a gap on the exit

ah you cheeky buggah

[icy fern]

📻 : "IT'S DRY!"

[placid lagoon]

📻 Stay out!

📻 But it's dry?!

[icy fern]

AND ON LAP 10/19 OF THIS RACE

WE SEE NEARLY THE ENTIRE GRID COME IN!

[placid lagoon]

except for leclerc and sargeant!

[icy fern]

BEARMAN TAKES HIS TIME PENALTY NOW, SLOTTING HIM DOWN TO P14!

[placid lagoon]

they're now 1 and 2 but at a big disadvantage!

[icy fern]

LAWSON UP TO 3RD!

AND ITS A DISASTEROUS PITSTOP FOR JACK DOOHAN!

IT SEEMS THE FRONT JACK HAS BROKEN!

[placid lagoon]

LMFAO

😭😭😭😭😭

[icy fern]

: Retire the car, Jack.

[placid lagoon]

📻 🇦🇺: "Jackasses.."

[icy fern]

UNREAL SCENES !

[placid lagoon]

you wanna update the order?

[icy fern]

oye

ye

[placid lagoon]

kk

[icy fern]

LAP 10/19
LEC
SAR
LAW (1)
ALO
BOT
VER (2)
TSU
HÜL
PIA (1)
PER
POU
BEA
RIC (2)
GAS
NOR (2)
DOO
~~ SAI~~
ALB~~
RUS
HAM

[placid lagoon]

chaos? chaos.

lap 10 btw

[icy fern]

e

[placid lagoon]

Lawson and Alonso hounding Sargeant now, and they make quick work of the american

[icy fern]

i

so much lag

ok am i back

no theres still a 20s delay

i switched to mobile maybe its better now

[placid lagoon]

I thought it was just me

nah it's bugging for me too man

[icy fern]

OH FFS

[placid lagoon]

everyone has it

[icy fern]

discord hq is in the central of syria

image test

images load fine its just the text

RED FLAG - SOFTWARE ISSUE

flashbacks to 2023 australia gp practice

[placid lagoon]

LAP 11/17
LAW — 16.753 — LEC

test

still fucked

it's
lec
law
alo
sar

??

LAP 13/17
LAW — 11.087 — LEC

Lawson is catching at around 3 seconds a lap!

LAP 15/17
LAW — 5.996 — LEC

[icy fern]

test

its better

[placid lagoon]

LAP 19/19
ALO — 1.401 — LAW — 0.972 — LEC

down the main straight, they're barely seperated!

LAWSON SENDS IT ON THE INSIDE

leclerc has no defense and slips wide!!

hes dropped down to 5th!

alonso all over the back of the vcarb and now he has a chance into the carousel..

[gritty crystal]

😦

[icy fern]

ALONSO TRIES TO GET PAST

[placid lagoon]

alonso sends it AND THEY BANG TIRES
No harm done

[icy fern]

TO THE LINE LAWSON HAS THE DRS

ALONSO IS WHEEL TO WHEEL

BUT IN THE END

[placid lagoon]

ITS LIAM LAWSON!!

[icy fern]

LIAM LAWSONS DONE IT

[placid lagoon]

HE CLAIMS VICTORY IN THE SPRINT

[icy fern]

📻 OH MY GOD GUYS!

[placid lagoon]

📻 YESSSS LIAM COME ON!!!

LAP 19/19
LAW
ALO
:Haas: BOT
:redbull: VER
:ferrari: LEC
:williams: SAR
TSU
HÜL
:McLaren: PIA
:redbull: RIC
PER
:williams: POU
BEA
:Alpine: GAS
:McLaren: NOR
:Alpine: DOO
~~ SAI~~
:mercedes: ALB~~
:mercedes: RUS
:ferrari: HAM

what the

[icy fern]

discord moment

[gritty crystal]

lmao

[icy fern]

LAP 19/19
LAW
ALO
BOT
VER
LEC
SAR
TSU
HÜL
PIA
RIC
PER
POU
BEA
GAS
NOR
DOO
SAI
ALB
RUS
HAM

[gritty crystal]

and in the actual race leclerc laps the entire field

[woeful skiff]

What the hell happened while I was away

[placid lagoon]

things

the race will be calmer dw

[grizzled moss]

Can someone maybe like pin the car performance

[woeful skiff]

One thing I forgot to tell you

I altered the sprint scoring system

It’s 5 points for 1st down to 1 point for 5th

GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID
LAW
ALO
BOT
VER
LEC
SAR
TSU
HÜL
PIA
RIC
PER
POU
BEA
GAS
NOR
DOO
SAI
ALB
RUS
HAM

[icy fern]

FRONTRUNNERS
Ferrari
Red Bull
POSSIBLE FRONTRUNNERS
McLaren
Mercedes
TOP OF THE MIDFIELD
Haas
Toro Rosso
MIDFIELD
Williams
Sauber
BACKMARKERS
Aston Martin
Alpine

[icy fern]

** Car 12 (DOO) to start from back of grid, as a penalty from unsafe equipment at the driver's sprint race pitstop. **

[woeful skiff]

It’s RB and Kick Sauber

[icy fern]

its sauber

[woeful skiff]

WEATHER FORECAST
No rain.

[woeful skiff]

Kick named the chassis and the constructor name

[icy fern]

who says kick sauber

nobody

[woeful skiff]

They have control over that portion

[woeful skiff]

The official F1 website

I also know this one guy

Forgot his name but he does parodies of racing Verstappen

[grizzled moss]

Me....

[woeful skiff]

W my man

[grizzled moss]

And I think I heard arrava

[woeful skiff]

Yeah he did

[grizzled moss]

Say it once

Ya

[woeful skiff]

Alright back to the race

[woeful skiff]

Lights out and away we go! Alonso gets a good jump on Lawson, but Verstappen has an excellent getaway and takes the lead!

[grizzled moss]

Tsunoda also had an amazing strat

Start*

[woeful skiff]

LAP 2/71
VER
ALO
LEC
LAW
TSU
SAR
BOT
HÜL
RIC
PIA
PER
POU
BEA
GAS
NOR
DOO
SAI
ALB
RUS
HAM

[grizzled moss]

And now tsunoda overtakes lawson

[woeful skiff]

Hamilton has eased past the two Mercedes and Sainz now.

Leclerc is not able to find a good overtaking spot for Alonso.

[grizzled moss]

And Lawson gets a snap of oversteer but manages to save but now Sargent has passed

(DRS after 1 lap?)

Tsunoda getting really close to the Ferrari trying to overtake

LAP 3/71
VER
ALO
LEC
LAW
SAR
TSU
BOT
RIC
HÜL
PIA
PER
POU
BEA
GAS
NOR
DOO
HAM
SAI
RUS
ALB

[woeful skiff]

No.

He’s nowhere near.

He’s behind Sargeant

Ricciardo moves past Bottas and Tsunoda in 2 turns!

LAP 8/71
VER
LEC
ALO
LAW
SAR
RIC
TSU
PIA
BOT
HÜL
PER
POU
HAM
RUS
NOR
BEA
ALB
GAS
DOO
SAI

LAP 9/71
CAR 61 ( DOO) - FAILING TO COMPLY WITH PARC FERMÉ REGULATIONS

Oh yeah! I was wondering why Doohan never showed up in the pits, he took the grid start!

[gilded pawn]

LAP 11/71
Perez locks up and goes into the gravel at turn 5! He manages to keep the car from getting stuck, but he falls to p15.

[woeful skiff]

That allows Hamilton to overtake Pourchaire and defend his position in the yellows.

[grizzled moss]

Woops I was supposed to swap Lawson and tsunoda but we can forget that happened

And now as they go onto the main straight russell overtakes him with drs

LAP 12/71
VER
LEC
ALO
LAW
SAR
RIC
TSU
PIA
BOT
HÜL
HAM
RUS
POU
PER
NOR
BEA
ALB
GAS
SAI
DOO

[warm pollen]

On lap 13 Sargent is overtaken by Riccardo

[patent island]

Are there actually any rules for this?

[woeful skiff]

1. Don’t kill drivers

That’s it

[gilded pawn]

Lap 14/71
There's smoke coming out of the back of Verstappen's car!

So that's an engine failure, Max.
[redacted]
Retire the car please.

[woeful skiff]

The home fans are in shock and despair over their home hero having no option but to stop on the track.

LAP 16/71
LEC
ALO
LAW
RIC
SAR
TSU
PIA
BOT
HÜL
HAM
RUS
POU
PER
NOR
BEA
ALB
GAS
SAI
VER
DOO

LAP 19/71
The projected pit window is approaching. Both Mercedes, Hamilton, and all Red Bull cars are on the mediums. Everyone else is on the softs.

A one stop is possible, but only if the current tires everyone is on can last until mid race. The softs definitely cannot go the distance . . .

No.

Just no.

We’re not throwing curveball after curveball here.

[gilded pawn]

Okee fine

[woeful skiff]

LAP 21/71
📻 Box, Liam.

Liam Lawson is the first to come in and switch to hards, so they’re not going for the one stop.

Yuki Tsunoda and Logan Sargeant have also made scheduled pit stops for next lap.

LEC
ALO
RIC
PIA
LAW (1)
TSU (1)
SAR (1)
BOT
HÜL
HAM
RUS
POU
PER
ALB
NOR (1)
BEA (1)
GAS (1)
SAI (1)

LAP 22/71
LEC
ALO
RIC
PIA
LAW (1)
TSU (1)
SAR (1)
BOT
HÜL
HAM
RUS
ALB
NOR (1)
BEA (1)
PER (1)
GAS (1)
POU (1)
SAI (1)

We are yet to see a scheduled pitstop from the top three or Hamilton and the Mercedes.

[gilded pawn]

Lap 22/71
: Should I come in or no? These tyres are [redacted]
Stay out for now, stay out.

[woeful skiff]

LAP 23/71
HAM: I think Charles should come in, I’m going for Plan C.

📻 : Copy. I will pass it on.

LAP 24/71
LEC (1)
RIC
ALO (1)
LAW (1)
PIA (1)
TSU (1)
SAR (1)
HAM
RUS
ALB
BOT (1)
HÜL (1)
NOR (1)
BEA (1)
PER (1)
GAS (1)
POU (1)
SAI (1)

Wait

Messed up something

LAP 26/71
RIC — 15.936 — LEC

Ricciardo seems to be on the one stopper here, but how long is he willing to go on the mediums?

[gilded pawn]

lap 23*

[woeful skiff]

LAP 29/71
📻 : Box, Danny.

Ricciardo will be coming in next lap, but for what tire?.

LAP 30/71

Ricciardo has switched to the hard tire! Now it’s up to Leclerc to respond.

📻 And we are going to box next lap.

Oh, it seems Hamilton’s scheduled a pit stop too!

LAP 31/71
LEC (1)
RIC (1)
ALO (1)
LAW (1)
PIA (1)
TSU (1)
SAR (1)
RUS
ALB
HAM (1)
BOT (1)
HÜL (1)
NOR (1)
BEA (1)
PER (1)
GAS (1)
POU (1)
SAI (1)

LAP 33/71

📻 : Ok, George, we’re gonna box this lap.

RUS: Copy.

📻 : Ok, Alex, we’re gonna do a double stack with George.

ALB: Is George ahead enough?

📻 : Correct, you will not need to wait for your stop.

[woeful skiff]

LAP 31/71
LEC (1)
RIC (1)
ALO (1)
LAW (1)
PIA (1)
TSU (1)
HAM (1)
SAR (1)
RUS (1)
ALB (1)
BOT (1)
HÜL (1)
NOR (1)
BEA (1)
PER (1)
GAS (1)
POU (1)
SAI (1)
VER
DOO

LAP 32/71
HAM — 25.975 — ALO

Hamilton is faster than Alonso by 1 second a lap as the data suggests. AWS predicts he’ll be within reaching distance by lap 48, but Hamilton seems to be on the alternate strategy.

Of course, he has to get past Piastri and the two RBs, and currently he’s 4 seconds behind Tsunoda.

[woeful skiff]

LAP 36/71
📻 : And how long do you think you can last on these tires?

LEC: I think they’re feeling ok. Is Ricciardo going for the one stop?

📻 : Affirm.

Looks like Ferrari have got it wrong, Red Bull is reportedly going for two stops this race.

LEC — 14.936 — RIC

Ricciardo is on target for a win if he can maintain this gap . . .

HAM — 42.937 — LEC

Hamilton is now into the top 4, and he’s slowly catching Alonso.

LAP 41/71
LEC (1)
RIC (1)
ALO (1)
HAM (1)
LAW (1)
PIA (1)
TSU (1)
RUS (1)
ALB (1)
SAR (1)
BOT (1)
NOR (1)
HÜL (1)
BEA (1)
PER (1)
GAS (1)
POU (1)
SAI (1)
VER
DOO

A reminder of the standings as over half of the race is completed

LAP 46/71
📻 : Danny, when do you feel comfortable boxing?

RIC: I think I can do a few more laps.

I think Ricciardo is gonna extend long enough to go to the soft tires, as Lawson and Sargeant plan their stops for the next lap.

LAP 47/71
Alonso’s coming in! Hamilton was previously 5 seconds behind, and now he’s gonna have room to chase after Ricciardo!

LEC (1)
RIC (1)
HAM (1)
ALO (2)
PIA (1)
TSU (1)
RUS (1)
ALB (1)
LAW (2)
BOT (1)
SAR (2)
NOR (1)
HÜL (1)
BEA (1)
PER (1)
GAS (1)
POU (1)
SAI (1)
VER
DOO

LAP 48/71
HAM — 29.719 — LEC

He’s in distance of Ricciardo and could be in distance of Leclerc soon!

[gilded pawn]

Lap 50/71
📻 Ok Danny, box box.
RIC: Copy

Ricciardo is going to come in, leaving Hamilton to chase down his teammate.

HAM — 26.921 — LEC

[woeful skiff]

LAP 51/71
📻 : And we want to cool off the tires now, Leclerc is coming in this lap.

HAM: But wouldn’t that mean I should push to stay close?

📻 : We are checking

[gritty crystal]

We are checking 💀

Who tf hired xavi

[neon heart]

I'm gone for a day and I see a black flag
Istg you guys

[woeful skiff]

Tbf that was on me

I instituted Doohan to start on the grid when he was meant to start in the pit lane

And by that point I was too far in to redo

So I put out the black flag

LAP 52/71
Leclerc pits, and he’s 5.8 seconds ahead of Hamilton! Now it’s game on. Leclerc has the quicker soft tires, but Hamilton will have the proper tire temperature for the first few laps.

LEC (2)
HAM (1)
RIC (2)
ALO (2)
RUS (1)
ALB (1)
PIA (2)
LAW (2)
TSU (2)
SAR (2)
BOT (2)
NOR (2)
HÜL (2)
BEA (2)
PER (2)
GAS (2)
POU (2)
SAI (2)
VER
DOO

LAP 53/71
HAM — 5.394 — LEC

LAP 55/71
HAM — 4.469 — LEC

LAP 57/71
HAM — 5.284 — LEC

LAP 59/71
HAM — 5.963 — LEC

LAP 60/71
HAM — 6.012 — LEC

Looks like Hamilton won’t be able to catch up. A shame considering his teammate is also his rival.

WINNER: CAR 16 ( LEC)

CAR 2 ( SAR)

RESULTS
LEC (2)
HAM (1)
RIC (2)
RUS (2)
ALO (2)
ALB (1)
PIA (2)
LAW (2)
SAR (2)
TSU (2)
BOT (2)
NOR (2)
HÜL (2)
BEA (2)
PER (2)
GAS (2)
POU (2)
SAI (2)
VER
DOO

Verstappen has some serious ground to make up if he wants to win this championship.

[neon heart]

Sargeant FL is wild

[woeful skiff]

He pitted the latest

[woeful skiff]

Update the picture, Hamilton is at Ferrari

[placid lagoon]

Mercedes to Bring Major Upgrades to Spain
Mercedes, a team who have historically had great success at Barcelona, will be bringing a large upgrade package to their W16, including a floor redesign and wing changes. While most teams haven't been bringing upgrades to their machinery, choosing to focus on the 2026 regulations instead, Mercedes' engine program has been "very successful", and team boss Toto Wolff believes it is "worth all the investment...we believe we've found a few tenths on our rivals...at least 4." Could this propel them to their first podium of the season?

2025 Spanish Grand Prix
Q1 Eliminations: 🌤️
16. GAS
17. SAR
18. BOT
19. DOO
20. POU

**Q2 Eliminations: ☀️ **
11. PER
12. TSU
13. LAW
14. SAI
15. BEA

Q3: ☀️

1. RUS
2. LEC
3. HAM
4. VER
5. RIC
6. ALB
7. PIA
8. NOR
9. ALO
10. HUL

[woeful skiff]

BREAKING: BWT Alpine F1 Team has been purchased by Renault Sport Group and will sport a new identity from 2026 onward.

[gilded pawn]

Penalty: Car 11 PER
Reason: Unnecessarily impeding Car 2 during Q1.
Punishment: 3-place grid penalty

[placid lagoon]

it would be funny if kimi antonelli replaced Pourchaire mid season

[gilded pawn]

wait can i get the code to the game assistant thing so i can spectate

[placid lagoon]

yeah

1VO0QVPGL78

can I get an admin code boombox cause...yknow

I made the thread

and I also wanna help input results

[placid lagoon]

@civic aspen is the absolute WORST creature in the observable universe

your entire personality is hating me?

i have a suggestion

get a life

I do infact

nah I work as a batista

barista*

I make your yappuccinos

?? worst insult I've ever heard

-random number pulled from your ass

[snow path]

trickohu

Invalid argument provided.

Usage:
roll [max number or options to choose from]

[placid lagoon]

shut up albot

who even are you

I don't know anyone named conor

with 1 n

ha

it just hates you

easy to see why

🍔

check your hearing

wrong number

it happens to be the amount of times a girl has rejected you

crazy coincidence isn't it

[clear garnet]

hey guys

lets all calm down

breathe in

breathe out

again

breathe in

breathe oht

[placid lagoon]

your mother is one isn't she

right that's enough

we've stooped too low

I came in contact with your mother alright

im literally Hungarian

at least I don't worship myself, cause you apparently worship me

[vapid marsh]

what is this argument

[placid lagoon]

idk this dude

[vapid marsh]

skull

[haughty frigate]

Idk

[clear garnet]

guys

lets all calm down

[haughty frigate]

Yeah

[clear garnet]

this isnt nice

very mean

[vapid marsh]

if you hate tricko, good for you, he knows that already by your name

[placid lagoon]

he's a troll

[vapid marsh]

doesn't mean you have to start shit with him

[placid lagoon]

I dont have ops

[clear garnet]

you need to calm down

[placid lagoon]

😤

??☠️😭

[clear garnet]

hey

thats mean

[haughty frigate]

Excuse me?

[clear garnet]

stop it guys

[haughty frigate]

Seriously stop.

[clear garnet]

lets all breathe in and breathe out

[haughty frigate]

And?

Do I care?

[placid lagoon]

bro is picking fights for no reason

please touch grass

its very nice

how else would I be recommending it?

listen dude

you're pathetic atp

it was funny the first few times

now it's genuinely annoying

bucko

lmao

newsflash pal

[haughty frigate]

Well, honestly stop argue, it's not fun.

[clear garnet]

dont argue guys

[placid lagoon]

thanks thon

[clear garnet]

youre welcome

[gilded pawn]

Here is our starting grid for the Spanish Grand Prix:
1 George Russell
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 2 Charles Leclerc
3 Lewis Hamilton
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 4 Max Verstappen
5 Daniel Ricciardo
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 6 Alex Albon
7 Oscar Piastri
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 8 Lando Norris
9 Fernando Alonso
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 10 Nico Hulkenberg
11 Yuki Tsunoda
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 12 Liam Lawson
13 Carlos Sainz
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 14 Sergio Perez
15 Oliver Bearman
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 16 Pierre Gasly
17 Logan Sargeant
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 18 Valteri Bottas
19 Jack Doohan
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 20 Theo Pourchaire

Current weather: 25° C ⛅
Humidity: 70%

[cold karma]

bro might be an autist

anyways

its lights out and away we go!

[gilded pawn]

Leclerc gets an excellent start! Verstappen gets ahead of Hamilton!
ALBON LOCKS UP INTO TURN 1! He goes into the back of Daniel Ricciardo!

They're both in the gravel!

[cold karma]

Carlos Sainz made up places during the mix! He is now up to p9

[gilded pawn]

Hulkenberg, Tsunoda, and Lawson are 3-wide!
THEY BANG TYRES! HULKENBERG HAS A PUNCTURE!

[cold karma]

3 into one does not work! hulkenberg makes it back into the pits

charles leclerc leads from polesitter gerorge russell, followed by lewis hamilton

[gilded pawn]

Daniel Ricciardo is still in the gravel... there are yellows in sector 1. We may see a safety car here

VIRTUAL SAFETY CAR
No overtaking

Lap 2/66
📻: Box, Alex, Box
ALB: Replace front wing, yeah?
📻: Yes, Alex, box for front wing and new Softs

LEC
RUS
HAM
VER
PIA
NOR
ALO
SAI
LAW
TSU
PER
GAS
BEA
SAR
BOT
DOO
POU
HUL (1)
ALB (1)
(dnf) RIC

[cold karma]

Ricciardo is out of his car and that is good to see

Alex Albon has been given a 10 second time penalty for taking Daniel Ricciardo out of the race

[gilded pawn]

nvm mb

[cold karma]

nah no worries

[gilded pawn]

Incident noted:
Car 36 False Start

[patent island]

Who is 36?

[gilded pawn]

lawson

LEC -- 0.812 -- RUS -- 0.764 -- HAM

we may see some action here on the restart. Depends on which driver gets the better jump

[gilded pawn]

Lap 4/66
Virtual Safety Car Ending This Lap

And VSC has ended! George Russel has gone early! He's next to Leclerc!
Verstappen gets a jump on Hamilton and pulls ahead!

[cold karma]

Lap 8/66

Piastri had made a big error at the final corner! He is out of the race! The car oversteers into the barrier.

📻 : Oscar are you ok? Are you ok?
PIA : UGHHH! I'm ok, sorry guys.

DNF: PIA

[gilded pawn]

Lap 25? bit earlier maybe. like lap 8 early

gotta do pits

[cold karma]

okay

[gilded pawn]

ty

[cold karma]

yw

[gilded pawn]

Lap 9/66
Verstappen and Hamilton fighting into turn 10...
Hamilton brakes early, VERSTAPPEN INTO THE BACK OF LEWIS HAMILTON
Verstappen's front suspension is broken, and Hamilton's rear wing is destroyed!
They're both stuck in the middle of the track!

RED FLAG
All cars return to the pit lane

[cold karma]

DNF: HAM VER

David Croft: What is going on with this race, 9 laps has passed and already, 4 DNFs!
**Martin Brundle: **You're absolutely right Crofty. This is total chaos. I wonder what is left for this Grand Prix to offer.

[gilded pawn]

Lap 9/66
RUS
LEC
PIA
NOR
SAI
ALO
TSU
LAW
PER
GAS
BEA
SAR
BOT
DOO
ALB
HUL
(dnf) HAM
(dnf) VER
(dnf) PIA
(dnf) RIC

a double dnf for red bull is NOT what they need to make a comeback in the constructor's championship

A reminder of the current standings:

[woeful skiff]

What the actual fuck.

I said earlier DO NOT THROW CURVEBALL AFTER CURVEBALL.

I’m gonna redo this from the start. I will not allow you to keep crashing people just to make this interesting.

[gilded pawn]

no fun

[woeful skiff]

Yeah well it’s not gonna be fun for others if it’s just SC and red flags repeatedly.

Right.

Q1 Eliminations
16. HÜL
17. BOT
18. SAR
19. DOO
20. BEA

Not a good qualifying from either Haas.

Q2 Eliminations
11. PÉR
12. POU
13. ALO
14. SAI
15. LAW

Pérez will take a 3 place grid penalty for the race, so I bet he’d have wanted to get into Q3.

Q3 Shootout
4. LEC
5. ALB
6. NOR
7. RIC
8. PIA
9. TSU
10. GAS

Now isn’t that a surprise? George Russell is fighting for pole position! But he still has Hamilton and Verstappen to triumph . . .

CAR 33 ( VER)

Ah, he just misses out! But still a very good qualifying to start P3.

STARTING GRID

1. VER
2. HAM
3. RUS
4. LEC
5. ALB
6. NOR
7. RIC
8. PIA
9. TSU
10. GAS
11. POU
12. ALO
13. SAI
14. PÉR
15. LAW
16. HÜL
17. BOT
18. SAR
19. DOO
20. BEA

Leclerc gets a great start and passes Russell! He looks for a move on Hamilton, and they merely touch! Russell sees the opportunity, and takes second! Verstappen has cleared the field!

LAP 2/66
VER
RUS
HAM
LEC
ALB
RIC
NOR
PIA
GAS
POU
TSU
ALO
PÉR
SAI
LAW
HÜL
SAR
BOT
DOO
BEA

Albon sees a gap on Leclerc, into where the Nissan chicane would be, Albon makes the move! The Mercedes seems very powerful on this track!

LAP 6/66
PÉR — 0.927 — ALO

Pérez is keeping within arms reach from Alonso. A good form from him considering his grid penalty.

LAP 8/66
PROJECTED TIRE STRATEGIES

- -
- -
- -

LAP 9/66
ALB — 4.012 — HAM

Albon is catching up to Hamilton now, AWS predicts a catchup by Lap 15 . . .

LAP 11/66
ALB — 3.682 — HAM

LAP 12/66
ALB — 3.012 — HAM

LAP 13/66
ALB — 2.496 — HAM

LAP 14/66
ALB — 1.983 — HAM

LAP 15/66
ALB — 1.502 — HAM

LAP 16/66
ALB — 1.104 — HAM

LAP 17/66
ALB — 0.904 — HAM

Well it took a little longer than AWS projected, but Albon is now in Hamilton’s DRS range.

But it doesn’t quite look like he can get close enough to make a move, even with DRS.

[gilded pawn]

looking to the next race, may i request a rainy monaco?

[woeful skiff]

The next race is Monaco if you’re wondering

[gilded pawn]

yes ik

which is why i ask now

before monaco

[woeful skiff]

Well I do weather by the broadcast irl, so it depends

[gilded pawn]

ah did not know ok

as in like the weather the day you do the race? or weather on irl raceday

[woeful skiff]

The day I do the race

[gilded pawn]

ah ok

ima get some sleep now its 4am

[woeful skiff]

LAP 19/66
Albon is 0.5 seconds behind, catching Hamilton into T10, down the inside he goes, and he makes it stick!

Albon now pits immediately after, as are a lot of other drivers.

[gilded pawn]

in that case
i vote we postpone monaco till thursday

[woeful skiff]

You see I’m planning to make Monaco a dry race, for something very . . . unusual.

LAP 21/66

[gilded pawn]

alr

[woeful skiff]

Hamilton’s slowing! He’s slowed down to half of the top speed!

HAM: I’ve lost feeling in the rear!

Could it be caused by the collision between him and Leclerc earlier?

[gilded pawn]

📻 We are checking

[woeful skiff]

Hamilton’s pulled into the pits, and the mechanics are on to work on the rear.

It’s not working. Hamilton’s hopping out of the car.

[gilded pawn]

HAM: ******* ****

[woeful skiff]

LAP 22/66
VER
RUS
ALB
LEC
RIC
NOR
GAS
PIA
POU
TSU
ALO
PÉR
SAI
LAW
HÜL
SAR
BOT
DOO
BEA
HAM

[gilded pawn]

An unfortunate and abrupt end to Hamilton's race

[woeful skiff]

Ricciardo and Gasly are yet to make their pit stops.

[gilded pawn]

Lap 23/66
📻: Ok, Danny, we're going to box next lap

Lap 24/66
📻: Box, box, in this lap
GAS: Copy

We now look to Daniel Ricciardo to see where he comes out...

He's gonna be side by side with pouchaire!

Pouchaire and Ricciardo racing hard... Daniel Ricciardo is on quicker softs, but Pouchaire has the better tyre temperature.

Ricciardo is pushed wide by Pouchaire! He manages to keep it together, but now he will have to chase.

Lap 25/66
RIC -- 2.411 -- POU

Lap 26/66
RIC -- 2.050 -- POU

Lap 27/66
RIC -- 1.498 -- POU

Lap 28/66
RIC -- 0.857 -- POU

Ricciardo now within DRS range of pouchaire. Let's see if he can make a move

Lap 29/66
Ricciardo with a HUGE lunge into turn 1, and he makes it work to get ahead of Pouchaire.

[woeful skiff]

LAP 32/66
Everyone has made one stop.

VER
RUS
ALB
LEC
RIC
NOR
GAS
PIA
POU
TSU
ALO
PÉR
SAI
LAW
HÜL
SAR
BOT
DOO
BEA
HAM

That’s Leclerc! His front left is bent inward!

We were watching the track map and he was nowhere near another car OR a wall, so what happened?

He’s pulling over now at the Nissan chicane. I wouldn’t be surprised if that too was caused by the collision at the start.

LAP 35/66
VER
RUS
ALB
RIC
NOR
PIA
GAS
POU
TSU
ALO
PÉR
SAI
LAW
HÜL
SAR
BOT
DOO
BEA
LEC
HAM

[clear garnet]

Piastri closing in on Norris.

NORRIS SHUTS THE DOOR

NORRIS LOCKS UP AND THROUGH GORS GASLY

UNBELIEVEABLE STUFF

[woeful skiff]

Gasly took a pitstop he was nowhere near them 🤦

But that incident has given him a second less to the McLarens

[clear garnet]

oh

i ddint know

[woeful skiff]

WINNER: CAR 33 ( VER)

CAR 63 ( RUS)

RESULTS
VER
RUS
ALB
RIC
NOR
PIA
GAS
POU
TSU
ALO
PÉR
SAI
LAW
HÜL
SAR
BOT
DOO
BEA
LEC
HAM

[placid lagoon]

merc cooked

[woeful skiff]

Verstappen and Ricciardo are coming in hot on Ferrari!

2025 Monaco Grand Prix

Ahead of the weekend, Ferrari have released a statement that the light collision between Hamilton and Leclerc in Spain was indeed the cause of their double DNF.

Q1 Eliminations
16. BEA
17. SAR
18. DOO
19. HÜL
20. ALO

Bearman just misses out Q2 to teammate Bottas.

Q2 Eliminations
11. SAI
12. PÉR
13. GAS
14. POU
15. PIA

A huge shocker for Piastri! He’s out in Q2.

Q3 Shootout
4. RUS
5. ALB
6. NOR
7. BOT
8. TSU
9. LAW
10. RIC

So now it’s up to Hamilton, Leclerc and Verstappen for pole . . .

[cold karma]

bruh just put them in there

[woeful skiff]

CAR 44 ( HAM)

[woeful skiff]

It’s more fun this way

[cold karma]

fair enough

[woeful skiff]

2 PLACE GRID PENALTY FOR CAR 33 ( VER) - IMPEDING

PENALTY RETRACTED - SUCCESSFUL APPEAL

Alright 2 mins and I’ll start on the race

I gotta buy a gift card

[cold karma]

btw it should be 3 places normally

Final Classification for the Monaco Grand Prix qualifying session:

1. HAM
2. LEC
3. VER
4. RUS
5. ALB
6. NOR
7. BOT
8. TSU
9. LAW
10. RIC
11. SAI
12. PÉR
13. GAS
14. POU
15. PIA
16. BEA
17. SAR
18. DOO
19. HUL
20. ALO

[placid lagoon]

Mr Consistency damn

[placid lagoon]

5 red lights...

and away they go!

[woeful skiff]

Lights out and off to sleep we go!

[placid lagoon]

☠️

[woeful skiff]

WINNER: CAR 44 ( HAM)

Yeah nothing happened lmao

RESULTS

1. HAM
2. LEC
3. VER
4. RUS
5. ALB
6. NOR
7. BOT
8. TSU
9. LAW
10. RIC
11. SAI
12. PÉR
13. GAS
14. PIA
15. POU
16. BEA
17. SAR
18. DOO
19. HUL
20. ALO

[placid lagoon]

and Lewis Hamilton wins the Monaco gp! every car finishes in the same position!

I KNEW IT

[woeful skiff]

Except for Pourchaire and Piastri

[placid lagoon]

lmaooo

☠️☠️☠️

you had the opportunity to do the funniest possible thing

and you took it

[woeful skiff]

Alright since I did that y’all can do Portugal

[woeful skiff]

CAR 77 ( BOT)

But first I have to do the standings

[placid lagoon]

2025 Portugese Grand Prix
Q1 Eliminations: 🌦️
16. BEA
17. BOT
18. SAI
19. POU
20. PER

**Q2 Eliminations: ⛅ **
11. LAW
12. GAS
13. DOO
14. SAR
15. NOR

[woeful skiff]

Leclerc is back in the championship lead.

[placid lagoon]

Q3:
3. ALB
4. HAM
5. VER
6. PIA
7. ALO
8. RIC
9. HUL
10. TSU

It's a 1v1 between Russell and Leclerc...

LEC

2025 Portugese GP Starting Grid

1. LEC
2. RUS
3. ALB
4. HAM
5. VER
6. PIA
7. ALO
8. RIC
9. HUL
10. TSU
11. LAW
12. GAS
13. DOO
14. SAR
15. NOR
16. BEA
17. BOT
18. SAI
19. POU
20. PER

Pre-race:
A car has broken down on the parade lap, and the left side of the grid is covered in oil. The crews have done their best to clean it up, but the odd-numbered grid slots will have a disadvantage at the start.

[woeful skiff]

That will include pole sitter Leclerc . . .

FORMATION LAP
📻 : So just stay on the right side of the track on the main straight.

[placid lagoon]

⚫ ⚫ ⚫ ⚫ ⚫

AND AWAY THEY GO

leclerc has a terrible start, look at that wheelspin!

albon too, Verstappen

theyre falling back

as into turn 1, Russell grabs the lead

[woeful skiff]

THROUGH GOES RUSSELL!

[placid lagoon]

hamilton slips through, and leclerc is in 3rd!

[woeful skiff]

Hamilton has tucked in behind Russell, Verstappen is into 4th!

[placid lagoon]

but now his tires are slippery and he SLIDES WIDE AT TURN 3

verstappen through, piastri too

its a horrible start for leclerc and albon!

[woeful skiff]

LAP 2/63
RUS
HAM
VER
PIA
LEC
ALB

[placid lagoon]

on another note, yuki tsunoda has gotten up to 7th in all the chaos!

[gilded pawn]

Hamilton pulls alongside Russell...

They collide! Russell goes into the gravel! He manages to keep the car moving, but he falls down the order!

[cold karma]

...why is it always the frontrunners😭

[placid lagoon]

mate

you cause more crashes than kvyat

[woeful skiff]

You’re talking to James right?

[placid lagoon]

yes

does that one count

i vote no but I might be biased

[woeful skiff]

Changing this.

They both go off the track! The order hasn’t changed, but Verstappen is gaining . . .

[cold karma]

Meanwhile the two RBs are battling out for the final points of this race and they go side by side, wheel to wheel, but Yuki Tsunoda gets a puncture!

[placid lagoon]

man

[woeful skiff]

TSU: **********

📻 : Yup, understood.

[cold karma]

📻 : Focus Yuki, focus

[woeful skiff]

CARS 22 (TSU) AND 40 (LAW) - CAUSING A COLLISION

Not that fast.

Let it go on for a few laps first

[placid lagoon]

smh

ok then

also are you tracking penalty points in fgc

/ are we even doing them

[woeful skiff]

I don’t know if we will. But I do know Bottas and Lawson are the only people to get pens

[placid lagoon]

ok

it's fine, let's not

and Yuki has spun it! that might be a safety car as he's beached it at turn 12

carried too much speed, was not careful enough with that puncture

📻 P-0

📻 ********

[cold karma]

Martin Brundle: There's gonna be some heated conversations in that RB debrief today.

[placid lagoon]

LAP 4/63
RUS
HAM
VER
PIA
LEC
ALB
RIC
ALO
HUL
NOR
LAW
GAS
SAR
DOO
BEA
SAI
PER
BOT
POU
TSU (DNF)

[cold karma]

how did norris jump from 15 to 10

[gilded pawn]

He's just built different

Virtual Safety Car
And we will get a VSC with tsunoda stuck in the gravel

Lap 6/63
Virtual Safety Car ending this lap

[woeful skiff]

Hamilton hasn’t overtaken Russell yet

[gilded pawn]

VSC has ended! Hamilton has an amazing jump and pulls alongside Russel into turn 1!

Hamilton! Around the outside at turns 1 and 2! He manages to pull ahead of George Russell!
Hamilton had an excellent jump, but he may have gone too early. Let's wait for the marshalls' decision.

[woeful skiff]

NO FURTHER ACTION FOR CAR 44 ( HAM) - ALLEGED VIRTUAL SAFETY CAR INFRINGEMENT

Ferrari have reported that Hamilton was in the required delta time before the end of the Virtual Safety Car.

[cold karma]

LAP 37/63

1. RUS
2. HAM
3. VER
4. LEC
5. ALB
6. RIC
7. ALO
8. PIA
9. HUL
10. LAW
11. GAS
12. SAI
13. NOR
14. POU
15. PER
16. BEA
17. BOT
18. SAR

**DNF: **
TSU (Collison with Lawson)
DOO (Engine failure)

[astral zenith]

What's that? Daniel Ricciardo with the double overtake through the chicane! Wow.

[cold karma]

He's now up to p4, brilliant move!

[analog osprey]

we have a double yellow in sector 2 and

[shrewd plinth]

Ricardo spins out and the safety car has been deployed

BUT ALBON COLLIDES INTO HIM AND THE RED FLAGS ARE OUT

Session will be resumed from lap 42

The debris has been cleared, and Albon and Ricciardo have gone back to the paddock, they look like they will get grid penalties at the next round

LAP 42/63

1. RUS
2. HAM
3. VER
4. LEC
5. ALO
6. PIA
7. HUL
8. LAW
9. GAS
10. SAI
11. NOR
12. POU
13. PER
14. BEA
15. BOT
16. SAR

**DNF: **
TSU (Collison with Lawson)
DOO (Engine failure)
ALB
(Collision with Ricciardo)
RIC
(Collision with Albon)

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

Russell has more traction on the start, Hamilton suffers from the ferraris poor grip and verstappen has the overtake and he's into second place, contact between piastri and hulkenberg but the FIA will leave it alone, as they go into turn 1 there are red and yellow flags out because there's a puddle of oil on the track! There's oil spilling out of Pourchaire's Williams and he's been called in with an orange and black flag, and it's so the marshals can clear it

[astral zenith]

What? The Ferraris have entered contact and entered the kerb! Luckily they are back, at P5 and P6.

5 second difference between P6 and P1.

Anyone's race at this point.

[analog osprey]

Hamilton now is going to strike on Russell, HAMILTON DOWN THE INSIDE, THEY BARELY TOUCH, THE FORMER TEAMMATES ALMOST COLLIDE but Russell keeps P1!!
*team radio hamilton: "I've got damage" *

[cold karma]

u gotta refer to the previous line of commentary. hamilton at best is p5 while russell is p1

otherwise u could fast forward a few laps and change hamilton's position

[astral zenith]

LAP 53/63

1. RUS
2. VER
3. PIA
4. ALO
5. LEC
6. HAM
7. HUL
8. LAW
9. GAS
10. SAI
11. NOR
12. POU
13. PER
14. BEA
15. BOT
16. SAR

**DNF: **
TSU (Collison with Lawson)
DOO (Engine failure)
ALB
(Collision with Ricciardo)
RIC
(Collision with Albon)

[placid lagoon]

LAP 55/63

1. RUS
2. VER
3. PIA
4. LEC
5. HAM
6. ALO
7. HUL
8. LAW
9. NOR
10. GAS
11. SAI
12. POU
13. PER
14. BEA
15. BOT
16. SAR

**DNF: **
TSU (Collison with Lawson)
DOO (Engine failure)
ALB
(Collision with Ricciardo)
RIC
(Collision with Albon)

LAP 55
RUS
+1.310
VER
+0.462
PIA
+1.993
LEC

LAP 56
RUS
+1.174
VER
+0.245
PIA
+1.776
LEC

[woeful skiff]

+0.123
HAM

Hamilton dives down the inside of Leclerc! He’s now within Piastri’s DRS range.

LAP 57/63
Hamilton makes a rapid fire move on Piastri! He’s making up for his lost time!

LAP 58/63
Hamilton is 0.739 seconds behind Verstappen, into T1, does he make it stick? Not yet, Verstappen is still defending.

[placid lagoon]

russell has extended his lead to 2 seconds in all the fighting!

onto lap 59 he's 2.5 ahead, surely he's gonna hang on

[woeful skiff]

WINNER: CAR 63 ( RUS)

Mercedes finally get a win this year!

CAR 44 ( HAM)

An impressive comeback from Hamilton after that collision, and he retakes the championship lead!